Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #87 The Chief Would Like Some Of Your Oreos

Transcript

#87 The Chief Would Like Some Of Your Oreos · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Asked the question everyone wants handsed, how was.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: The flesh light still boxed up?
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: My guy, it's a lie.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: It isn't a lie. I promise. I promise because I
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: did have you on speaker phone when I have said
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: to April, guess what Maddie J got me, and she
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: played it pretty cool like you yeah.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: On the phone, she was like, oh, that's so thoughtful.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: She's like it's gonna be fun.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: And then she pokes her head back and ses, don't
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: let me catch you using that thing. Now.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to two doting dads.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: I'm Mattie Jay and I'm Ash.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: And this is a podcast all about parenting and flesh lights.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: The good, the bad, and the flesh light.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: If you've come wanting any type of flesh light advice,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: say because that is what.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: That is all we talk about. Now we're talking about
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: flesh lights and two flesh lighting dads and shit.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: That is, like, yeah, the two main topics of what
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: we talk about. I can't tell if people enjoy the
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: ship chat or if they're like, oh god, it's another.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Someone was like two grown men talking about shit is deplorable,
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: and I was like, I have a laugh, cockhead.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: What else is there to talk about?
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Nothing? Kids?
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Shit a lot, We shit a lot.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah that too. What's going on? What's happening?
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: So?
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: What I what have I what a I miss?
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Well?
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: I feel like I see you every day. Now I've
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: got nothing to talk. Let's just sit different hour.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: And we had what was it, ten days and not
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: seeing each other.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: We did, yes, which we get into we'll get into short.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Both of us were aching aching for some company.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: About aching and we're like, I did call you, I
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: think like stay seventy And I was like, anyway, I'm
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: going to go, and you were like, don't edge me
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: like that. You ring me.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: You'd call me and you'd be like hey about hey,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: You're like, oh, I'm going to go, And I'm like
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: such a tease. God.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I think I just wanted to win to you because
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: we ran out of Nappy's on the ship and I
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: just walked out fourteen sets of stairs and I was
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: like so hungover to because I did carry the night before.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: And I was like, and You're like, don't dare ring
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: me up and edge me over the phones.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: You call I get comfy, I sit down, I strapped you.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: Pull your dick out, Yeah, sit there.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: And then you're like, I can't talk right now. I'm like, well,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Jesus ChRI, I know what you're doing.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: We'll playing sorry.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: So we didn't talk about it last episode, but I
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: do want to know how the cruise went, because we
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: went on a cruise for the first time together. You've
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: now ditched me. I know.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: No, you you wanted to try and work more around
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Laura as the doting husband that you are, So don't
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: you dare throw me under the bathroom because you were
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: just doing something nice for you and your family.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Because you were like, hey, I'm thinking about taking this
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: two month cruise all throughout the Pacific, and I was like,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I don't know if Laura's schedule allows for that, and you're.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Like, so you are sorry. We wanted to do a
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: longer one, like and something in the cold weather here
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: but warm weather somewhere.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Else, So sue me talk me through it.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: I did it with my family and my mom and
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: my dad. And one thing I did realize I started
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: doing early on was because my mom was there, and
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: you probably do it with Laura too. When you're talking
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: to your kids, you refer to each other as mummy
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: and daddy. I started to do that with my mum.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: I called her mummy a few times.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I started doing that as well, and I was like,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: ah fuck.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: And then of course my mom would not let me
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: live it down every time. My mom should be like,
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: that's mummy to you.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: You know, like posh English people say that.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: I like Mummy, Mama, Papa, Mom, John Ty and mummy.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I said it the other day in the kitchen. I
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: was like, Mummy, what's the dinner. Laura was like, what
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: the hell was that?
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, I mean early nothing.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Who got stake tonight or what?
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: It was A really good trip was out to Vanawatu.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Must be nice.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: It was must it was very nice. Bit bumping on
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: the way out. But we left on the day that
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: the fairies were all shut because the swell was so big.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: It was huge, it was massive, but we were because
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: you have what's it called the departure party.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: No, it's not that, yeah, it's a sail away and
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: it was.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: It was actually okay because.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Can I just say for those people who have not
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: been fortunate enough to go on a cruise, at the
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: moment you leave port, they have a sail away party.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Just everyone gets really drunk on the.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Deck pretty much, but like the good thing was a
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: sail away takes place, you know when you're still in
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: the harbor pretty much, which is not because you go
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: past the bridge, the opera house, all the iconic Sydney
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Sydney things which you know, and then we got out.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: It was just a bit bumpy. Later on you're like, oh,
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: like you're pissed. I was, but also you're definitely bumping
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: into the and you don't have your sea legs yet essentially.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it was a nice smooth trip up and
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: then you get to you get to the island and
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: which ones did We went to went to well, no,
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: three islands in Manawatu. I can't remember what it called.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Port Villa was one mystery island and like I can't,
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: for love me, I can't remember the first one. Not critical,
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: but the kids it's their second cruise this year, so
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: they climatized really quickly. The Kids Club is amazing. If
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: you've got kids and you want to ditchy kids for
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: like a trip, that is the place because they they
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: send you the every day, they send you the schedule
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: or what's going on, and the kids are frothing.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Do you remember we were on the last trip together,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: and the first morning this is day two. The line
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: for kids clubs.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: It wasn't like that, yeah, because.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Everybody was saying, this is not normally like this, but
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: we Yeah, it was like an hour wait to drop
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: your kids off. And I was like, oh god, I'm
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: just not going to bother.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: We didn't bother, no, no. And it was only a
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: short trip that one. We got there registered pretty early,
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: pretty easy. It was actually very very easy compared to
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: the last one, which is good. So they've obviously improved
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: for that, so that's amazing. But we got to the
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: islands and it was really hot. The first time we
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: got to It was kind of like being on a
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: boat for a few days and then getting off and
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: you pretty much walk straight into like a local market.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: It's just them trying to see their crap, you know,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: as they do. What are they sell a lot of
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: like sarongs and shit, did you buy a nym? Nah?
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: That was like the first stop, which was it was
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: a pretty average place. To be completely honest with you,
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. It was nice like when he
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: got round to like where the main city is on
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: it was like on their harbor, not a big sarrong guy,
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: not a big sarrong guy.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: So you were like, what else have you got?
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Like just laid on. Then we went to the next
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: island next day and it was raining and we had
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: a beach to a book. So that's no good either. Nice, great,
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: but we made the most of it anyway, Like Oscar run.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: That's the video of April pissing in the water.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was great. That was a highlight. But that
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: was good. And on that tour there was a little
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: bit of like the tour guy was really informative of
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: like what's around, what they do, what they grow, what
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: they what do they they live coconuts and that, you know,
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: the fruits that are in and the stuff like that.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: I'd please go on.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: No. But the third trip we did, which is Mystery Island,
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: absolutely beautiful. It was pish, pish, picturesque. Sorry, well said
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: it was picturesque. It was like, this is a tropical island.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: It was beautiful.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: An it's the wrongs, yes.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Wrongs, still the wrongs, that's right. It was the wrong weather. Yeah,
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: but that day we had a modern cultural tour booked
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: and it was like the nicest state. I was like, oh.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Fucke fully like I just want to lay on the sand.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what you can't.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Tell if you'd be a kind of some baking, relaxing
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: kind of gun now you know, what do you like
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: to do?
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Surf? If I, if I had a if I didn't
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: have a tour book, I would have tried to find
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: someone to take me surfing somewhere. We trying to find something.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: But we had the cultural tour as a group, all
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: of us, my family and my parents lovely, and they
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: take you across to this island of like there's three tribes.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: There's like a southern tribe and northern tribe and the
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: central tribe. One of them is like French speaking because
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: of the colonialism, sure the right word? Not sure, I'm
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: not a history teacher. And then there's the north one,
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: but the one they take you to the central one
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: and it's a beautiful place to got the little kids,
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: little school, little church. I don't know if you've ever
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: taken two small children on a cultural tour.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I can't say I have. Actually we were in Fiji
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: a little while ago and they did after like an
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: outdoor dinner followed by a show like but it was
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: kind of entertaining. It was a bit scary. Actually, the
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: kids petrified because they came out and they're like, oh,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: like with breathing fire.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know what I expected. I thought, I'll take
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: the kids on a cultural tour. Maybe it'll snap some
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: sense into these spoiled little kids. You know, we got there,
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: we were like walking through and you go to like
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: they take you up. There's like three stops on this tour.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: It's all walking, it's not far and the first one
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: is about you know, their housing, how they live, and
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: then the food, how they forest, how they hunt, how
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: they gather. And then there's the warrior side of thing
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: where they back in the day when they had warriors
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: and they help fighting, fighting for land and blah blah
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: blah blah blah. So we enter and the first thing
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: you have to do is be accepted by the chief,
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: whether we're welcome or not.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Can I ask did anyone not get welcome? Was he like,
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: actually not today, frank.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Us as a group, thankfully. But anyway, we all sit
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: down and then the kids sit next to me and
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: out of the bush.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: And you obviously got accepted by the chief.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: Let me get there.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Sorry, I apologize to.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Stop interrupting my story. Now we all sit down and
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: out jumps the chief from the bush and the kids
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: just go. He's wielding a big fucking stick and it's
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: like all over us. And then someone's got The leader
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: of our group has to go. We come in peace,
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: like we just want to learn, and he it's exception. Oh,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: it's kind of out of the show.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: It's got you. It's the theater. It's the theater.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Anyway that they're going through the different ways that they
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: build housing and stuff, and you know, that's all pretty
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: like straightforward. The kids are actually at this point scared
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: for their lives, so they're quite still.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can imagine Oscar gets freaked out by a cat,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: so I can only imagine what he was like with
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: the chief of a Vanuatu tribe.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Yes, he definitely calmed down. And then we move on
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: to the next station, which is how they hunt and
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: gather and the different foods that are grown and what
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: they do with it, how they cook and blah blah blah.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: But before we left the ship, we were low on snacks,
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: so I went and got some snacks from the boat
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: convenience store. Anyway, we're sitting there, we're sitting there listening
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: to how they scrounged for food, and Macon and Oscar
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: got they're like, I'm hungry. So we're sitting there watching
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: these little kids and these elders with their tree roots
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: and stuff, and you look over and my kids are
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: eating aureos and I was like to everyone, I'm like,
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: oh my god, the fuck's going on here? Anyway, they've
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: gone through the oreos and we're still sitting there, and
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: then we're into the twisties. The kids are sitting there
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: and then Macy starts going privileged.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: To white folk. I know. Kids are like, I'm so hungry.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: I know. And they're sitting there and Macy's like walking around,
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: like just just completely unawares, completely oblivious to the fact
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: that these kids are trying to eat tree roots and
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: like leaves and they're like spinach. So there's that. That's
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: the first. This is a great sign. They're obviously not
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: paying attention anymore whatsoever. They're in the dirt, they're chasing
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: the chickens around.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Which is kind of nice.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: They were just caught. They were just running a mark and.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: They're with oreos and twisters in hand.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And then we move on
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: to the weapons. So you go on to like the
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: warriors tribesmen and what you know, they used to fight
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: for their land blah blah blah. And they're showing the
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: different types of weapons and Macy's they're going watch TV.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: She's having a meltdown because she wants to watch TV.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: And we're on this island with no power, nothing.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Chicks running around.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: Chickens running around, this guy wielding an axe, and he's
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: She's like, watch TV. I want to watch TV. And
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: like everyone's like.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Stop ammsing these kids in an amazing culture.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: I know. We eventually were like this relaxed, like we
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: got her back attention when the more warriors came outside,
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: yet like a little bit more entertained. But they got
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: a little bit heavy because they were talking about in
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: the older days when what they used to do and
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: they used to go, they used to fight a lot
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: for land, but with warriors like obviously you know they
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: have wives and or whatever, but the only way that
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: really another tribe could obtain that land is the blood
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: spill of a woman. So they started to talk about
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: the warriors that go to war for their land. But
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: if your husband died, okay, then your tribe, not the
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: other tribe would actually kill the wife.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Oh god.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: But then they went on to graphically show which is
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: super interesting for an adult for a four year old,
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: We're midway through them trying to explain how they killed
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: the woman and Macy chokes on a twisty and she's like.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: And they're like yeah, just.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Like so the reason the reason they do that is
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: so that they spill the blood, not the rival tribe,
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: so they can't actually claim that land. But they graphically
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: did it. And then Macy's in the corner just like anyway,
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: then they started to do they started to do their
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: traditional song and dance, which really got Mazie up a
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: gun because they were doing it and I missed filming it.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: I wish i'd God, I'm so sorry.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: She was like dead body.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Ever they're like doing like what they do after they
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: kill the woman. Anyway, the cultural tour trip with the.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Many kids on that trip or none, this is mine?
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Oh anyway, that finished up, which it was really informant.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: I actually had a really good time and like we
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: were walking back out and which was a really cool part.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: This is a really cool part and the kids really
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: love this part because the school the little kids. School
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: was at lunch and they're all out on the oval
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: playing with the balls and soccer and stuff. So me
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: and Oscar and Mazie you're running around with these kids
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: and like they were these kids were I was.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Kicking the ball really high in the end and they're
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: like whoa.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: And Oscar was just like fucking loving it, like running
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: around with all these kids. But it was like, you know,
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: a nice little end to that little cultural tour because
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: the rest of it was completely wasted on them. They
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: were just paying no attention to how lucky they've got it.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I do. I do think, and especially now because there's
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: so many people over in Europe, for example, with young kids.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: I'm like, do you think these kids will remember any
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: of it? Do you think?
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: I no, do you know? I think maybe at Oscar's age,
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: he might little snippet if he's yeah, I think, because
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: this is now to when we were kids, things are
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: way more documented now totally like phones, bang bang bank,
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: bank bank. You could probably jog that memory over the
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: next ten years and keep.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: It and that'll be nice, that will be nice.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: It would be a nice moment for him. He was
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: frothing on these kids like kicking a.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Ball around his dad be a hero.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: I was a hero to these kids. They now have
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: a statue of me.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: You have a great boot on you.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: Thank you. They have a statue. Did you tell them
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: you're Wally Lewis I'm professional? Definitely not. But that was
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: a good part of it. Yeah, But the rest of
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: it was like, oh God, why did I take these
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: kids on a culture because I think I had expectation
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm going to get these kids
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: to appreciate what they have. Didn't work at all, but
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: you know, maybe down the track I'll try again. But anyway,
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: we get back to the boat and it was that
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: night actually we had a bit of a scare just
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: to change the mood a little bit. Right now. As
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: you know, Oscar has before had croup. Yeah, he had
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: a little bit of a cough like later on at
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: night and well that fuck like a bit of cough
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: medicine or whatever to try and.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: And for anyone who doesn't know what creep is, ash
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: take it.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: Away explain not a doctor essentially, isn't it. Yeah, But
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: it restricts the airway. So at three o'clock in the morning,
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: at three o'clock in the morning, Oscar starts to suffocate
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: and he cannot breathe whatsoever. There's nothing you can really
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: do other than they can give you us some steroids
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: in hospital. But I'm on a cruise ship in the
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: middle of the ocean. They do have the facilities, yeah,
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: but we were like, the other thing you can do
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: is steam really helps. So at three point thirty in
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: the morning, Oscar has stopped breathing essentially, and it was
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: really scary. This was the scariest one we've had. We've
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: had it before. He's getting worked up, April's getting worked up,
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Macy's up as well. Now I'm trying to just keep
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: everyone calm because them being getting worked up, he's not
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: helping him trying to breathe. So I've kicked April out
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: of the bathroom and I just get out, shut the
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: door with Oscar in there, turn the shower on as
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: full ball hot as we can to steam it. They
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: say steam is good for the thirty minutes we sat
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: in therefore, and eventually got him to be able to
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: breathe properly.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: And you came out looking quite trium as well.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, I've jacked Reddit, but it was like the worst
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: place you could possibly, yeah, because it's like I don't know,
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: I knew they have a medical centergicol, did you no?
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: Do you know what? I felt like I had it
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: under control, I felt once I kicked April out and
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: I was like to Oscar, you need to concentrate on
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: me very closely. You're working up. Let's just start with
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: some breas because he's like he's only skinny, sucking his
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: whole like doing his absolute best to try and breathe,
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: and then eventually you can sort of hear him being
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: able to breathe a bit more. But it was a
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: real mission to get me to stop and be like, hey,
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: bring him back to me every time, because he was
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: like get into his head, like he's not getting any better.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: But this was, Yeah, it was definitely the scariest one
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: I've had where I thought he was going to die
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: at one point, and like, obviously we're both pretty triggered,
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: and like the morning when like we managed to get
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: him breathing again and then we sort of sat with
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: him for a few hours. We actually all fell asleep again,
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: thank god, and then woke up and I think April
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: and I like sort of debriefed on him. We're like
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: fuck both a little bit triggered by it. Yeah, and
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: like we thought, like, you know, there's not a whole
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: lot you can do until they grow out of it, apparently,
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: but that sort of bit, it took a bit of
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: a turn. Did the trip with a few days to go,
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: got a roller coaster. It was a roller coaster, yeah, yeah.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: And then he still had a bit of a nasty
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: cough the next day, so he just laid really low
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: in the cabin because you don't want to be walking
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: around a cruise ship with your kid who sounds like
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: a dog barking. It was really like ooh, ooh, ooh
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: sort of bar And then that was the third last night,
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: and then on the last night, just to change the
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: gears again go on the last night, I had to
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: get content, so I left the room when everyone went
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: to bed. April was reading. I get a call from
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: April when she goes Macy was coffee and I was like, oh,
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: fucking here we go again. She's no, no, no, she's coughed
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: so much she's spewed up onto oscar. He hasn't woken up.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: She just copped it.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: He's just copped a barrage of spew off Anyway, I
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: get back to the room and April's like trying to
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: strip Oscar off. He like she wake him up, didn't
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: wake him up, stripped him off without waking up, and
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: put a T shirt on him. I've cleaned up what
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: spuy can and washed it away, and Macy's just like
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: and she's gone back to sleep. And the next morning, like,
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Oscar hasn't noticed.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: And he's like, why am I wearing this outfit?
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: He was like, why am I wearing a T shirt?
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: I'm like, who's going to tell him? And it was like, don't,
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: let's just not do so he still doesn't know what's
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: actually happened. He just thought he was really really sweaty.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: What a beautiful trip.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: It was a lovely trip. And then we got off
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: and here I am, oh no, we got off and
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: Dad ended up in hospital because he has Demona.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Shouldn't laugh.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Sorry, a few days with a trip to go, Dad disappears.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Dad was like, I need some attention.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: Dad's got influenza and he's got pneumonia and he gets
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: wheelchaired off the ship and straight into hospital.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: How is he doing now?
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: He's back home now he's good.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Wow, fine, Wow, you've experienced. It was a huge trip.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Technical emergencies, cultural experiences. No, that's what it's all about.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Exactly right. The highlights of the trip were Macey eating
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: oreos while these kids were trying to nor at a
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: tree route and then also choking on a twisty or
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: they're trying to perform how to Kill a Woman.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: And you're taking photos and videos. This is great.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: I know. Yeah, I've got some videos of some stuff,
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: but it's not doesn't really translate into I love it
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: and I just want to go. I haven't missed anything here.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sorry, you got one minute to tell the story.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: I want to go back to, just really quick on
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: this whole cultural tour. Okay. I got on the tender
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: to go to the cultural tour, and I had an
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: itchynus the whole time. I just wanted to let you know,
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: thank you that anyway.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Always good to get a little update on your It
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: was like I was like a hemorrhoid or was it No,
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: it was just itchy.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: But then I was like trying to find little places
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: where I could be like sneak away a little itchin.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Then I was trying to fart.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: At me.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: People. Position was the squat so I was in those
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: squatting the whole time.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Gosh, thank you for that last that's okay, beautiful point
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: to throw on now, asking on the cake on a
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: great trip.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: It was a good trip. So thank you to Pino
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: for having me and my family.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: As always, I can't wait for my trip October. Look
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: out for anyone wondering, we've actually got We've got everyone
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: coming on our trip.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: I've got Laura's mom, Laura's sister, my sister, my mom.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Everybody can't wait. I want to tell you just quickly
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: about an incident that happened with me ash also a
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: medical emergency. You could say with.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: You, well, I was there, Oh you were there.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: One of the kids were involved. Your kids don't do gymnastics,
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: do they?
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Nah? Nah, no, not yet anyway.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: So Marley was super keen, like super keen shit because
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: my nieces and nephew's day went to gymnastics and you
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: know the girl they wear like a leotard. And Marley
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, it's got a sequence stitched
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: on to it.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we went past it the other day. We walk
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: past it.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: We walked past it on the city to serve and
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: Marley was like, that's why I do gymnastics. Yeah, and
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: it was great. You know, sometimes it's really it's a
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: battle to get the kids to do those activities. They're
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: keen to sign up, but when it's time to actually
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: like get in the car go there, they're like, I
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: don't want to go.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: It was like O school with the jiu jitsu and
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: they the guy was like, you come in here and
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: you greet me, and I was just like, I don't
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: want you left.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: So Marley took the gymnastics like a duck to water.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: So we do that on Thursday afternoons. Issue was I've
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: got the kids on Thursdays, right, and so I'm like, well, amazed,
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Well you can in that one afternoon session. There's multiple
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: age groups and there was one age group for Lola
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: as well, and I was like, great, I'll try and
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: convince Lola that she can do gymnastics and then the
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: girls do it together. Job done.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: She's got the perfect head size for flipping.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: You leave her head out of this.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: Definitely counterweight.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: The problem was though she was a bit too young.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: You had to be of a certain age, and my
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: sister pre warm me and she's like, don't even try,
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: like if you say, hey, she's two months from being
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: old enough, don't even try.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: Like they won't accept challenge, accept it.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: And so I lied on the application form. If they're listening, sorry,
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: it wasn't me.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: It was just a joke.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: But Lola wasn't really that keen. And I was kind
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: of like, gymnastics is sick, Yeah, you love it? And
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: she was always like, I don't know about this. Every
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: week it's the same, she's like, just you know, digging
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: her heels and anyway, we're walking to gymnastics last week,
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: going gone, let it out, let it out.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: It's gone. So that's not just.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: Don't fucking try and harder yawn from me. I can
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: see it. I'm sorry, I can see it. I know
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: you better than you know yourself.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: I feel it's rude, though, when it's not because of
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: the story.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: That's fun. I don't get hurt.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: You get more hurt when I'm like, yeah, sorry anymore.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: When it comes, you know, please oh go this.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: I would love that. So we're walking down to gymnastics.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: You walk there from here.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: So we parked the car, we walked down, walking down
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: the hill two gymnastics from the car, and Lola bless
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: her cotton socks. Takes a tum.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: No, also, you just said takes a tumble, which is
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: a gymnastic term.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Pardon the pun. Gymnastics teacher is like ten points.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: She's out the front. You're after the Olympics with ray gun.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Level too, and the cut on her knees is enough
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: to have her give the most blood curdling scream heard.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: Have you got it?
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: And I've sent it to your phone and she was like,
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: I can't walk, dot it, I cannot walk the drama
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: and she looked at it and she was like, oh.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: My god, Oh yeah that's a video.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is if you are queasy, my guy. I
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: just oh, she's really scraped.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: Up those knees.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Do you reckon? That's nothing, She's only little though nothing.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: I thought, she's definitely given it a good scrape. You
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: fall over on the concrete and scrape your knees, poor
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: little thing. It's not that bad. One of them is
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: worse than the other. But it was still so annoying. Dude,
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: like it's gravel rash a gray's.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Knee is just it absolutely fucking derails the whole day.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: Did she do the thing now? When like after that
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: she got in the bath, just like it's stick.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: I can't okay, wouldn't do gymnastics.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, she's got an injury, that's nothing.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: I was like, hey, like, forget about that, let's go
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: and do some flipping. And she's like, she couldn't walk.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: It's blood. She wouldn't walk. She wouldn't walk.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: That didn't do gymnastics right, get home. She's like, I
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: can't eat dinner. I can't eat because of my injury.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, you can eat dinner, and she's like,
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I can't. I can't do it. I can't. Still won't walk,
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: won't get in the bath, won't even put pants on
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: because she doesn't want to have any fabric over the knee.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Oh it is painful. I feel your pain, but the
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: poor thing it probably hurts. At the time, I gave
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: her the sympathy. Yeah, okay, all right, well, but something
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: like that, you know you're in.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: For like two or three.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: She was a band aid too. She get a bunch
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: of band aids.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: She wouldn't take a band.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: Aid, not even a band aid.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: The grays was too severe for a band aid with
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: a gravel round. And next week gymnastics, I'm like, there
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: goes another fifty bar.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: Take a different route, confuser, I don't know how else
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: I can get there. Let me have a look at
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: those knees again. I just I'm getting a little bit
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: of tron because I've had some pretty gray's knees before,
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: and it does hurt, especially little. They've got such like
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: new skin too, So just like so delicate anyway, a
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: little bit of blood.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: So your kids are almost dying of oxygen starvation.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: My kids, it's not a competition. I would give sympathy
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: to Macy fell over on the boat on the carpet,
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: got carpet burn, and then she did a similar thing
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: to that, where she can't do anything because of this
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: tiny bit of carpet burn. Couldn't shower, couldn't eat in
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: the pool anyone, Oh the pool was fine, to go
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: on the pool, it's hot, I mean. And that then
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: like she'd be like see someone and they'd be like, oh, hell,
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: like me. You don't even know this person. It was
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: like me the dramas. The dramas are just a simple force.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: So once she fall down the footpath or you pushed
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: it in there, No.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: I think she does it on purpose. She's done it
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: like three times now.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: Herself on the ground. Yeah, she's just like, she doesn't
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: want to go that bad that she's willing to injure herself.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure it's that's not the case.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: Let's hope not, because it could.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: That could spiral because they have to wear crocs because
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: it's easy to take the shoes off, and the crocs
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: they're trip has bloody trip hazard, especially in winter. They're
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: not acclimatized.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: Exactly what Macie tripped over on the boat her crocks.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: But this is April's fault. We're gonna throw April under
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: the bus. My wife is a typical wife. She likes
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: to pack weeks in advance. She likes to be so
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: organized that she's packed these crocs that she thought the
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: kids had grown into but hadn't yet.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: That's too big, huge. Oh fuck, I.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Should have got some phones. The first time I saw
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: the kids walk out of the cabin and I looked
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: down and I was like, what the hell was Well,
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: the kids were in fucking flippers. They're huge. So everywhere
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: Macie went she tripped over, tripped over here, tripped over,
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: and then she's tripped over and got herself a nice
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: little carpet burn but crocs trip hazard. I don't even
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: know where mine are that you gave me. Do you
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: know why? Because I don't want a trip? Should we
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: do some lies?
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: Please tell me loud.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: Tell me, Matt. This is the segment that we ask
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: our lovely, dedicated, doting listeners to send in the little
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: lies they tell their.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: Kids to make parenting just a little bit of eaier.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: And my mom said to me, don't threaten or light
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: of the kids unless you can follow through. And remember
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: I was telling you the story last week how I
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: threw the car out the window. I can follow through, baby,
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: don't you worry. So there's a couple that we used
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: on this cruise ship that were very very very very useful.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to run you through those two and
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: if you've got some that you've been from listeners, then
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: I'll give you my two first, and then you can
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: give me what you've got. Sorry to explain that to
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: you three.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: Or four times. Well, we run this segment every single week,
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: so normally.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: You get it. You got it good.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: You're like were talking to the microphone.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: Mike grazes my knee, and now I can't tell you
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: my lies. The first one is I used really really look.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: This one got my mom offside because she was like,
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: don't say that to them. I would essentially say anytime
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: they would do anything that they were like being naughty
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: or wouldn't, I'd be like, get in the shower or
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: come on, get your shoes on, and be like right,
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: you're going overboard. That usually got the results.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Actually I did see April sent me a video you
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: were dangling oscar.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: Off the side of the Michael dinner Michael Jackson's start. No,
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: that was one of them that we used a lot.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: Did it work?
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, because they're so gullible. I even picked
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: one of them up once. No, but my mum.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: Really at the time whereabouts in the boat in a restaurant.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: April had a really good one on the last night
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: because for some reason, my kids don't. They don't like potato.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Mine don't either, Yes, especially like mashippies, sure mashed, no
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: time for man, no.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: Time for mash. So April had a good one saying
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: that mashed potato is just warm ice cream.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: That is brilliant.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: Did it work? No, but I thought that was she
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: whipped that out on the last I was like, where
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: did you get that? From She was like, just come,
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: just came to me.
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: It's very clever.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: I was like, that's good, So actually try it with
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: the girls next time. Yeah, don't next time. You got mash. Like,
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: if you're out to dinner and there's some mash.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: Mash, I'd say would be one of the most hated dish.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: It's delicious. They just don't like potato, salt, butter, bitter milk,
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: bit of cream even.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, kids don't know how good that.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm gonna do this. Get a big bowl
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: mash and just eat that. Do you had that instant
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: mash stuff?
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: Beautiful? Oh heaven, Heaven.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: I stand with you, mash. They're my cruise ship lines,
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: so feel free listeners to use those. I would say,
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: don't threaten to throw your kids overboard when there's a
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: crew member around. No, I keep that underwrapp I would
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: keep that like more in the privacy of your own cabin. Yes,
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: not at a restaurant because it scared them. If anything, I.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: Mean it's giving them some like long term trauma.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: As did the thing because all the railings on the outside,
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: like at the top of the deck, it's all glass,
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: so you can see out. You want to be able
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: to see and the kids are like looking out. I
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: do that thing when you go kill I'm a terrible dad.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: This one, your word's not mine. This one is in
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: the Facebook group ash, which is just popping off. Yes, Jesus,
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: the bands, the humor, the fun that we have in
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: that Facebook group. Yeah, it's unbelievable. If anyone's not a member,
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: go and join. This one is from Jessmine Jesuit jezz No,
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: that was Jasmine jazz Amin, Jessemine, Jasarmin Dilmond just Almond,
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: as she says, I don't know if I'm proud of
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: this or not. Dot dot dot. My kids are aged twelve,
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: ten and eight and they keep eating in their room,
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: leaving cups and plates, et cetera, and I'm so over
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: telling them not to. I saw this on Facebook and
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: I thought it was worth to try. I got some
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: brown rice from the shops and I sprinkled it in
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: their rooms and they now think that mice have been
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: there who are attracted to the food.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: So, my parents live in a granny flat on the property,
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: so now the kids are all down there scared of
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: the mice outbreak and claim they are sleeping in there.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: Tonight lowel. She says, I'll tell them the truth when
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: they're older, when they've learned. And there's a couple of
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: photos here.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: That's pretty good.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: I like that, a couple of photo references. But it
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: does actually look like mice poop, it does.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: It really does. That's genius.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: I love.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: They put it on his collectible cards near the PlayStation,
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: all the things they love.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: That's that's a great lie.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: That is good.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: It's a very good lie.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: That's not brown rice though, just to that's that purple
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: black rice. That's black rice.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Looks delicious.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: That's good.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: Another one asked, this one is a classic. This one
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: is a classic. So recently we were at Westfield when
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: I junction and outside one of the stores there's a
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: few is like three is a cluster of those little
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: toy airplane cars that you put the kids in. You
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: put in a few bucks and then.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: It got seconds.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: They look very tired, very tired. Kids love it. Kids
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: love it. We went there, kids were like, we would
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: have a go a nana. My mom was saying, look,
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: unfortunately these ones are all broken. But what we can do.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: But the time we're on the phone, you guys can
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: have a minute each in each one and they were
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: sitting in there and they're like, this is kind of fun,
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: I guess. And then as we were walking away, then
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: another parent went in there threw some money in things
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: like busted, and the kids are like, we want to
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: go on. I'm like, can we just collectively parents, can
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: we just all agree never to put any amount of
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: money in those anything?
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: Ever if there's another family, if you turn up and
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: there's another family in it, and they're all pretending it
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: doesn't work, read the room. Just know, just know that
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: watch this Timmy Busted.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: It is now time for listener questions and act the
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: way this segment works, just so you know, people who
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: listen to the podcast listening right in with a question
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: that in relation to parenting, which we then ask each
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: other and give it. Would you like to go first?
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: And I go first.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: I got a really quick one for you, please that
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: it comes off the back of the sleeping arrangement on
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: the cruise because we had bunk beds, right, so there
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: was a double bunk bottom and top, so open I
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: slept on top and Macey and Oscar has slept on
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: the bottom. Now, Mace, you just had in the room.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: You had just bunk beds. Yeah right, okay, it's pretty fun.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: Kids enjoyed it. But Macy's in a cot still at home.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: Can I ask when you did the the horizontal tango
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: sex top bunk or bottom bunk balcony.
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: It was definitely in the bottom bunk, like having sex
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: in a cubbyhouse. It was my child dream. So but
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: as you know, Macy's still in a cot because she's
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: you know, quite young, not quite young, she's like two,
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: but she's obviously enjoyed being out of that cot. So
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: and the question goes, because you've got slightly older child
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: than me, what age do I convert her out of
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: a I can't get out of this bed situation to
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: that now she can get out and roam, Like I said,
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: you got two, both can get out now in rome
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: and coming like Oscar already comes into my bed in
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: the middle of I don't think two people kicking me
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: in the middle of the night. What do you think
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: is an appropriate age?
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: I think we took Marley out of a cot pretty
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: early because she was just so mobile.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: Like spider Monkey she did.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: She would climb like nothing else. So even like it's
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: ideal to have your kid caged in right, You want
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: to treat them like a wild animal. Oh yeah, the
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: less mobile they are, they better because especially in the
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: middle of the night, sometimes they wake up, they know
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: they can't go anywhere, so they go back to sleep.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they're trapped.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So we actually put her. We gave her a
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: dog collar, and we leashed her to the wall.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: Perfect.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: It worked out brilliantly.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: Can I just write this down so I don't forget
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: Please everyone listening, please take my testimony.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: So we put Mary in her bed pretty early and
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: it wasn't. It's actually like we thought it was going
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: to be a nightmare. We were like, oh, this is
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: going to derail bedtimes like nothing else. And it was fine.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: I think like with Oscar, because we did it. I
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: think it's about three years old, which Macey's coming up
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: to it. But with Oscar he was so vocal all
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: the time that you could have a proper conversation with him.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not saying Macy's not as smart as Oscar,
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: but like I would be like, you want a big
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: boy bed, and really encourage the big boy bed. Yes
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: that he was like, this is my big boy bed.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: I'm never leaving it. But with Macey. She doesn't listen
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: to anyone. She's like fuck this, I'm out here, or
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: even on the cruise, I like woke up. I'm like,
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: where's MACI. You look over and she's coloring in at
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: three point thirty in the morning, and I was like, oh, yeah.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: It's so annoying when they wake up in the middle
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: of the night and they're like, well, I guess it's
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: time to get up and start the day early. Bird
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: gets the work.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: But now she's refusing her sleep suit. She doesn't want
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: to sleep in a cot at home, so it's like,
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: what's the plan? So that's why it's like, that's why
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: muskin get Yeah.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: I mean the only thing with Lola when we took
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: her out of the cot, then just meant that she
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: was in wake up in the middle of the night.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: We would then bring her into our bed, which wouldn't
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: mind which we're into.
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: It's just your bed's tiny.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: How dare you talk about like that in saying that
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: last night I woke up flanked by two children. Yeah,
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: and Lola was like, I'm in the bunk bed she
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: so she left us.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: I've been sleeping in the completely separate room at Popa's
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: house and I've been in the door. It's a really
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: old house in doorhandles really high and if you notice.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: That, the kids can't get in.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: But also April's like in the middle of the night,
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: she'll walk up and open my door.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: So anyway, we have had a lot of questions ash
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: about how to communicate a death in the family to
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: the kids. And you may, for those of you who
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: come from life on cut, you may have heard the
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: news recently that Laura's stepdad, Lenny, absolute legend of a bloke,
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: Neil nicknamed Lennie, he passed away.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: I was just like so confused, and I'm like, yeah, Lenny.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: He passed away after a long battle with cancer, nine
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: years brought to the last breath and he's now passed away.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: The kids absolutely love far. We've scorn far and we've
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: got the funeral coming up this weekend, and we wanted
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: to preempt. We were thinking, do we bring the kids,
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: do not bring the kids? But I think it's better
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: to evolve them. We were pretty upfront with the kids
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: and we explained. We were kind of saying to them
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: that Lenny's been unwell for a long time, so we
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: were trying to just like we didn't want to rip
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: the rug from underneath the kids and just you know,
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: say hey, fars gone. Yeah, we were so afraid to
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: tell them in fear of them having some kind of
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: traumatic experiences. A few times. With Laura's granddad, he's passed
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: away when the kids were really young. And sometimes Marley
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: will be at nighttime and she's like, I can't I
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: can't get the thought of granddad dying out of my head,
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: and we're like fuck, Like, how do you.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: You have mentioned that? Lowel O'Malley has talked about death
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: a lot. Yeah, like Oscar's only have you had.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: Have you had anyone passed recently in your family?
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: Oscar's had his great grandfather, my grandfather, Billy Wicks die
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: when he's been alive a couple of years ago. Oscar
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: was much younger. But the funny thing is we didn't
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: really have to explain it to him because he was
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: quite young. But he was only at one word. But
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: he started calling his comforter that he sleeps with Billy.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: Oh really literally the day he died, and he wouldn't
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: even know, which is random.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: How old was Oscar when that happened.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: I think it would have been like two right and
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: a bit like even now there's some foes around and
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: he's like, you know what happened And we've just been like, oh,
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: you know, that's Billy passed away because he's got the
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: middle name as well, William is Oscar's middle name. Yeah,
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: I can't imagine that. Now. You got me thinking, like
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: the conversation that if you know someone now died like
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: Oscar is so inquisitive, as is Mali there at that age,
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: and Lowell is sort of getting into that age too,
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: where they're like why everything is why? It's like, shit,
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: I can't.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: So it did help to say like, well, you know,
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: you know, we've explained that he's been on well for
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: a while and we're going to go, oh, yeah, yeah,
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: I understand that.
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: I think it did go over Lola's head, like you know,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: she's only three. She can't really understand the significance of
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: death as you can appreciate through a three year old,
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: but Marley really understands it. Dude. It's gonna sound really obvious,
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: but it helps so much telling her on a Saturday
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: morning when we had the entire day as a family together,
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: because you know, we're like, oh, can we tell her
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: in the morning before daycare. But then you know, the
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: thought of then dropping that news and her and then
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: being away from you have a.
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: Good day daycare because she might not process it for
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: another hour or so and then be like I want
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: to cuddle form Mummy or Daddy and make sure even
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: even if she's thinking empathetically, which she probably is because
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: she's already thinking about death, she'd be like, I wonder
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: if mummy's okay, and if Mummy's not there to give
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: her a cuddle at least, like you've given her the
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: day to kind of get used to the thought that
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: someone's not around anymore. Like I remember when when Dad
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: was going through that heart attack staff and it was
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: like he was here, and then I was meant to
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: see the kids a day after as well, and they're
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: like where is he and trying to explain to them
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: that he's really unwell, and like, you know, also for
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: like grandparents and stuff like that. When I spoke to
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: Dad about that, Dad was like, I was scared, but
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: not for me the kids. I was scared for my
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: grandkids that I've just like built this bond with not me,
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: but like the grand kids. So it's like, yeah, I
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: don't know if there's a I'm not going to sit
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: here and say there's a right and the wrong way
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: to go about I think like the way you've gone
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: about it is definitely.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: But we found it having the open dialogue way easier,
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: and especially because there's been a lot of tears in
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: the household over the last week, lots of tears, and
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: you want the kids to understand what those tears are
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: a result of. You know, we can talk about it's
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: okay to be upsetskay to be sad. So for us
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: being upfront with the kids and being honest with them,
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: it's been so much easier.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because like I said, I don't want to say
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: there's a right and the wrong way because some people,
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: even adults, process everything differently. So like for me, death
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: it's going to sound horrible, is not. I don't know.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: I don't like my grandfather died. As much as I
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: miss him, I didn't cry. I don't have that. It's
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: just life really, but like and some adults are like that,
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: which I don't know how I'm going to explain. I
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: think I'll just try and figure out when that happens.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: But if there's any parents out there who experienced it,
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: communicated it in a way with the kids that's been
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: received really well. We would love.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: Doing your thoughts ill if there's an expert out there
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: that's gone, you know, the best way to do it.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: But like everyone's going to be different, right, Like I
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: was just going to be different to Marley. If I
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: said to Oscar, like, you know, blah blah blah has
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: been really unwell and unfortunately they passed away, I don't
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: know how he would.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, Marley's had really big emotions and there's
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: a little part of us where we're thinking, are those
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: big emotions right now are results of the news that
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: we dropped in her last week? Not sure? Not sure?
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: But yeah, we got the funeral coming up in a
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: couple of days, So.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: I don't want to Yeah, I don't want to end
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: on that note, but I want to ask a question
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: as well. On top of that weekend funeral versus weekday.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: Funeral, we're doing Friday.
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: It's a Friday. I gonna say weekend funeral.
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: We've got Friday funeral Hawaiian shirts. No way, that's pretty
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: cool Hawaiian shirt funeral. Yeah.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: I went to a friend of mine's dad's funeral which
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: his favorite color was red, so we all wore red.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: All sexy. It was a funeral, So Lenny is up
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: there listening in. He was a big fan of the show.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah so mate, Rest in peace.
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: Rest in peace, Lennie. We yes, and I'm sorry for
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: you and your family to go through something like that.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: Thank you. I appreciate that. That's okay. If you enjoyed
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: this episode, we would absolutely love it if you were
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: to share with anyone. Obviously, we love making the podcast.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: We hope you enjoy listening to the podcast. The only
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: way we can keep going is if we have an audience.
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: So sorry about all the death chat.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: Is anyone out there you think would benefit from listening
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: to two guys talk about their feelings. Please send it
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: on and subscribe.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: Review Yes, join the Facebook group. Go to Facebook type
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: two Doting Dads. Also, Father's Day is around the corner,
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: and the perfect Father's Day gift is, of course, the
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: book a kid's book written by yours truly.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: Us two Doting Dads, The Quest for Free Time.
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: Sorry to interrupted that it is available anywhere any good
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: bookshop you would like.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Hey, big w twelve bucks bargain.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: Boom, that's going to b w I'm going to buy
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: them out.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: And that note, let's out of here, see you. Two
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: Doting Dads. Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: Islander people's today. This episode was recorded on gadagle Land