Latest / Pastor Plek's Podcast / From Meth To Mercy

Transcript

From Meth To Mercy · Pastor Plek's Podcast

0:04
SPEAKER_03: And welcome back to Pastor Plex podcast.
0:07
SPEAKER_03: I'm your host, Pastor Plex, and joining me today is Megan Ludostansky.
0:12
SPEAKER_03: I'm so glad to have you.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me.
0:14
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: So excited.
0:16
SPEAKER_03: So cool.
0:16
SPEAKER_03: I when I first read your story, I was like, wow.
0:20
unknown: Yeah.
0:21
SPEAKER_03: Uh, this girl has been through it.
0:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
0:23
SPEAKER_03: And so um I won, you know, this is it's exciting.
0:26
SPEAKER_03: Like uh today after this, we're going to be filming your baptism video.
0:29
SPEAKER_03: So I'm excited about that.
0:30
SPEAKER_03: But I want to get to like what how did you get here?
0:35
SPEAKER_03: So let's roll back the tape.
0:36
SPEAKER_03: Um first tell me who invited you to church here, and then we'll go beyond that.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: So um Jeff Mitchell actually came out to our house um one day to fix like some cabinetry issues that we were having.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: And um we were really struggling at that time, Stephen and I.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, I was pregnant with Jules, and we had Harry who was um who has autism, and he, you know, we were in the depths of something going on.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: And um at that point in time, I think we were really yearning for a church community and um, you know, to be surrounded by godly people.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: And um, he just walked into our house and started talking to us about church and asked us if we had a church home.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: And we told him no, but we were searching and he invited us to Wells Branch and we started going in January of 2023.
1:33
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
1:33
SPEAKER_00: I was about seven months pregnant with Jules when we started going.
1:37
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and we've been coming ever since.
1:39
SPEAKER_03: Okay, all right, all right.
1:40
SPEAKER_03: Now let's get to like let's go to life before church.
1:45
SPEAKER_03: Uh let's go.
1:46
SPEAKER_03: Where did you grow up?
1:47
SPEAKER_00: I grew up in Kerrville, Texas.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: I was born in Kerrville.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: Um how far away is Kerrville from?
1:52
SPEAKER_00: It's like two hours.
1:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like it's hill country.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:55
SPEAKER_03: Um so west of here.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, so I grew up in a town called Ingram, actually.
2:00
SPEAKER_00: Um are you familiar with Hunt, Texas?
2:02
SPEAKER_03: Hunt, Texas, no.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: There was a camp recently, Camp Mystic.
2:07
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: So that is right by where I grew up.
2:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: Same, same areas, same, yeah.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: So oh gosh.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: Um, I grew up in Ingram, very small town.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: I grew up with my dad and my mom and my younger brother.
2:22
SPEAKER_03: Okay, in a small town like that, were you guys like farmers?
2:25
SPEAKER_03: No.
2:26
SPEAKER_03: Ranchers?
2:26
SPEAKER_00: No.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: We lived in a double-wide, not trailer, but like a mobile home.
2:31
SPEAKER_03: So I made her the queen in my double-wide trailer with the polyester curtains in the redwood.
2:37
SPEAKER_03: Okay, sorry.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: We didn't have it too bad.
2:39
SPEAKER_00: I mean, we had we lived in a good neighborhood, we went to good schools.
2:42
SPEAKER_03: I mean Okay, but like what what I uh this is the part I've just me ignorance of way of the hill country.
2:49
SPEAKER_03: What do what places of employment are there out there?
2:53
SPEAKER_00: Um so my mom was a family law attorney.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh she worked for a family law attorney, so she yeah, and I mean everybody's family law, so yeah, she was a paralegal.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: And then um uh she was also a waitress.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: Um so yeah.
3:08
SPEAKER_03: So she was a paralegal and a waitress.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: Two jobs, yeah.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: She worked two jobs.
3:11
SPEAKER_03: Was it at a diner?
3:12
SPEAKER_00: It was at actually a pretty high-end restaurant.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: Like she waited on like Patrick Swayze and yeah, it was a high-end restaurant.
3:20
SPEAKER_03: Um, hold on.
3:23
SPEAKER_03: Like I'm when I think of like Kerrville, I don't think high-end restaurants and very legals.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: There's there's two there's two kinds of people that like live in Kerrville.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: There's um there's a lot of rich people.
3:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
3:39
SPEAKER_03: And then there's a lot of like rich people that have like land.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and or big houses, land.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, but then there's also um a lot of recovery and yes.
3:50
SPEAKER_03: Oh we sent one of our girls there back in the day.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: Yes, there's a very like pretty famous um rehab out um kind of by where I lived called La Hacienda.
4:01
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I think that's where we sent one of our people.
4:03
SPEAKER_03: Right, got it, yeah.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: So um that's kind of what you have.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: You have, you know, kind of like rich people, and then there's a lot of like recovery and is it because the rich people need a place for recovery close to where they live?
4:14
SPEAKER_00: I I don't know.
4:15
unknown: I have no idea.
4:16
unknown: Okay.
4:16
SPEAKER_03: So rich people in recovery, got it.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:18
SPEAKER_03: Um but like is there is cattle a thing out there or no?
4:22
SPEAKER_00: I mean, not really.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: It's kind of just like I don't know.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: I would I would equate it to like, you know, I'm trying to think of a small town that's around like I don't know, Taylor or George, you know, something like there's still like H Vs and the city to Kerrville is like Austin.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: It's San Antonio.
4:36
SPEAKER_03: Oh, San Antonio.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like 45 minutes an hour away.
4:40
SPEAKER_03: Oh, so it's not that far.
4:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
4:41
SPEAKER_03: Okay, all right, that makes sense.
4:43
SPEAKER_03: Okay, that that actually really helps me understanding Kerrville.
4:46
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
4:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
4:46
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so it's just right outside.
4:48
SPEAKER_03: I mean, not right out, but it's it's it's fairly close to San Antonio.
4:51
SPEAKER_03: Okay, got it.
4:51
SPEAKER_03: All right.
4:51
SPEAKER_03: So you grew up there.
4:53
SPEAKER_03: Uh parents love Jesus or go to church or so.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: My my mom raised me to believe in God.
4:59
SPEAKER_00: We went to a great Christian church going growing up called Church of the Hills.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: Nice.
5:04
SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, I'm very grateful for that.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: Um, that I was raised, um, you know, that seed was planted at a very young age.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: Um I went to vacation Bible school, church camp.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: I was saved at church camp as a kid.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, I'm very grateful for that.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, my dad um has been a crack addict my whole life.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: Whoa.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:30
SPEAKER_03: All right.
5:30
SPEAKER_03: So you have a mom who's a paralegal.
5:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she worked two jobs and worked at the diner, and then you're to sustain your dad's crack addiction.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, not sustain it necessarily, but um that's basically just what she had to do.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: Um yeah.
5:44
SPEAKER_03: So how long did they they stay married?
5:46
SPEAKER_00: 13 years.
5:47
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
5:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, like she really gave the old college try.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
5:51
SPEAKER_03: And then what happened?
5:53
SPEAKER_03: Like, how old were you when they got divorced?
5:55
SPEAKER_00: 13.
5:56
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so at 13, it's over.
5:58
SPEAKER_03: How did that affect you?
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, I think I would was surprised it didn't happen sooner.
6:06
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
6:06
SPEAKER_03: Like I was like now, did your dad like was he abusive at all?
6:11
SPEAKER_03: Or just it was just high?
6:12
SPEAKER_00: No, just high.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like so.
6:14
SPEAKER_03: Was he a f happy high person?
6:15
SPEAKER_00: No, so I was very fortunate that my mom um was she had a rule where she's like, I don't care if you're gonna get high, but you're not gonna do it here.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: So you need to leave when you're gonna be getting high.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: Um, you're not gonna be here when you're high, or you know, so when he was home, it was because he was sober.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: Uh huh.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: So he would go through, you know, spurts of getting sober.
6:42
SPEAKER_00: Um he would it feels like my entire childhood, he was in jail, rehab, or gone, or when he was there, it was a short period of time where he was sober.
6:51
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
6:52
SPEAKER_03: And you know, did he ever go to one of the like La Hacienda out there?
6:55
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
6:56
SPEAKER_03: And how long did he last?
6:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, I think the longest that I remember was probably like six to eight months.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: It could have been longer, but from a child's perspective, like that's that's pretty much what I remember.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: Um, but my dad, I love my dad so much.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: Um, he is hilarious, he's so funny, he gets along with people.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: Like he's he's a great human, but he just can't do self-discipline.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: Nope, nope.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: And um my growing up, I they would, you know, they would fight a lot and um it would be really hard.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: I would always take my mom's side.
7:39
SPEAKER_00: So as like a preteen and as a kid, I was mean to him and I would, you know, like I just we weren't as close when I was a kid.
7:50
SPEAKER_00: Um because I was just like, you're never here, you can't tell me what to do.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: You know, like I had that kind of mentality.
7:58
SPEAKER_03: Wow, love it.
7:59
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
7:59
SPEAKER_00: So um it was hard.
8:01
SPEAKER_00: It was really hard.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think he favored my brother a lot because my brother, you know, craved that attention from him when he was home.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: And so we just didn't have a great relationship growing up.
8:17
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
8:17
SPEAKER_03: So you're are you the oldest?
8:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:21
SPEAKER_03: All right.
8:22
SPEAKER_03: So you're the oldest, you're kind of managing, protecting the chaos from younger sibling.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:28
SPEAKER_03: Uh okay, and then at 13, they get divorced.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
8:31
SPEAKER_03: Uh, how does that impact you?
8:33
SPEAKER_03: And you're like, okay, it should have happened sooner, or I can't believe it didn't happen now, what?
8:37
SPEAKER_00: My mom had a really hard time with it, you know.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, because I think, you know, she thought that he'd eventually turn around.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: Turn it around.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, she sat us down and talked to us about it.
8:52
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I we were like, yeah, let's let's do it.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: So we made a huge change and we moved from Kerrville to Round Rock.
9:01
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
9:01
SPEAKER_00: When I was 13, my brother was 11.
9:04
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: And um yeah, um, shortly after we moved, um, my mom started drinking heavily.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: So she had been sober pretty much my whole life and then quickly became an alcoholic.
9:21
SPEAKER_03: Um was it when she got here you just you couldn't find a church or she just we didn't go to church.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: Um she found a new job.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: Um we started school, you know.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: I went from a little tiny school my whole life to going to Stony Point my first year.
9:39
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was it was scary.
9:42
SPEAKER_03: Um, but I think because So when you get to Stony Point, yeah, and it's like a drug-infested school.
9:51
SPEAKER_00: It's they called it Stoner's Joint.
9:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean they still call it that.
9:53
SPEAKER_03: I mean, it it's it's that's not the place you want to go.
9:56
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so you're at Stony Point.
9:58
SPEAKER_03: You're you're like kind of freaked out about being at Stony Point.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: Not knowing anybody, it's a huge school, yeah.
10:05
SPEAKER_03: And did you have any friends?
10:06
SPEAKER_03: How did you make friends?
10:07
SPEAKER_03: Were you are you were you an outgoing person?
10:09
SPEAKER_00: So this is actually kind of funny.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: This was in like the time of MySpace.
10:12
SPEAKER_03: Oh, nice.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: Um, so I remember when we when my mom told us we were moving to Round Rock, I got on MySpace and I started searching, you know, Round Rock, Texas, and then Stony Point.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: Like I was searching and just adding random people and trying to like make friends on MySpace before I moved there.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: Right.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: And then I ended up hanging out with some of them before the school started.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: Nice.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: So I knew like one or two.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: So I had like some friends when I started, but yeah, it was still really hard.
10:39
SPEAKER_00: It was a good adjustment.
10:41
SPEAKER_03: Did they influence you or did you influence Stony Point?
10:45
SPEAKER_00: Oh, they influenced me big time.
10:47
SPEAKER_03: How did it influence you?
10:48
SPEAKER_00: Um, well, I started smoking weed almost immediately after I got here.
10:52
SPEAKER_03: Um and was your did you have a a radar for weed?
10:55
SPEAKER_03: Like don't do it.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: I had smoked it once like maybe once or twice before.
10:59
SPEAKER_00: And I had drank a couple of times before, but not like been drunk, you know, just messing around with my friends or whatever.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: I was I was a fairly good kid.
11:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: Um, my mom, you know, like I said, she worked two jobs and she was gone a lot of the time and left me responsible for my brother.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: And we'd always have like a house full of our friends.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, but we were purely innocent, like we, you know, didn't get into too much trouble.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: Um, so when I left, I felt like I kind of just like broke out of my shell a little bit and started, you know.
11:33
SPEAKER_00: I I I immediately started smoking weed and um didn't stop.
11:38
SPEAKER_03: So what was the exciting part about smoking weed for you?
11:42
SPEAKER_00: Um I think just a change in uh, you know, your mind, I guess.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: I guess just uh it kind of just helps you forget about anything bad.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: And when you first start smoking weed, you know, everything's funny and you're giggling a lot, every you're just laughing and eating a bunch.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: Like it's just like I don't know, we we would just like watch movies and laugh and eat, and that's pretty much all we did.
12:11
SPEAKER_03: Right.
12:12
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay.
12:12
SPEAKER_03: So then at at some point it turns where it gets darker.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: Eventually it got darker.
12:20
SPEAKER_00: Um so how it started was um my mom, a pest guy came to do our lawn one day, and um he asked my mom out on a date.
12:33
SPEAKER_03: And hey, listen, uh, got some initiative right there.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: Me and my friends were like, Yeah, you should do it.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: You should do it, you know, like, you know, let loose, blah, blah, blah.
12:42
SPEAKER_00: Well, they start dating, and then in less than a year, they're moving in together, and he bought us a house in Taylor.
12:52
SPEAKER_02: Oh, wow.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: So I only went to Stony Point for one year before me and my mom and my brother and my new stepdad moved to Taylor, and then I started going to school in Taylor.
13:06
SPEAKER_03: And I think that's when so was it the old Taylor High School or the new one?
13:11
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: Old Taylor High School.
13:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's whenever like I really didn't want to go.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: I I grew to love my friends there, you know.
13:19
SPEAKER_00: It was yeah.
13:20
SPEAKER_00: And I'm the crazy thing was is that I made straight A's.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: I made straight A's at Stony.
13:25
SPEAKER_00: I never made straight A's in my life.
13:27
SPEAKER_00: I the teachers were really good.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: I I feel like the education was better.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then going back to a small school like I was before, it was a huge just shock.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
13:41
SPEAKER_00: And um I started messing around with, you know, harder drugs.
13:47
SPEAKER_03: How did you this is the part I don't understand because I've this isn't my world, but how do you know?
13:53
SPEAKER_03: You're like, I wanted, you know, try meth.
13:56
SPEAKER_03: Like, who do you go to?
13:57
SPEAKER_00: Oh man.
13:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we'll we'll have to get to that one in a Okay, all right.
14:01
SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
14:02
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay, sorry.
14:02
SPEAKER_03: Harder, sorry, what it was a harder drug.
14:05
SPEAKER_03: How do you like um I guess weed you can get in gas stations now, but like I mean, yeah.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: No, in Taylor, that's the that's what I'm talking about, is that like in Taylor, I was never exposed to anything like that at Stony Point, which is crazy to say, because you would think that it would be like that.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: But no, um Taylor was um ghetto, I guess that's the right word for it.
14:25
SPEAKER_03: Um because it's on 79, you can just kind of you're you're going all the way to the city.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean I yeah, it was it at first it was like, you know, pills, you know, like pills, yeah.
14:37
SPEAKER_03: So who was like at school?
14:38
SPEAKER_03: Someone's like, hey, you want to try this pill?
14:40
SPEAKER_00: Um maybe maybe not at school, but like if we're like, you know, hanging out or you know, whatever.
14:45
SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, um Taylor was a very bad influence on on me and my brother.
14:52
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so you you start doing drugs, you you know, you start hanging out other people's houses, they somehow have pills, um, they give them to you, and you're like, sweet, uh, what kind of pills?
15:01
SPEAKER_00: Like uh oxies, yeah, stuff like that.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I was more of an like an upper um personally, so like, you know, coke and then ecstasy became like a huge thing when I was in high school.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: And um shortly, so right whenever I moved to Taylor.
15:21
SPEAKER_03: So how were your grades doing coke, ecstasy, not good?
15:23
SPEAKER_00: Okay, no, Taylor, my my grades were horrible at Taylor.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I I met my daughter's dad there.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
15:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so we started dating, we got really close really fast.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: I got really close to his family and um he was a grade older than me.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: So when he graduated, he decided to go to the Marine Corps.
15:47
SPEAKER_02: Nice.
15:48
SPEAKER_00: And um we stayed together while I was still in high school and he went to the Marine Corps and all of that.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: And then when and when he was gone, I was living it up.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: I was partying with my friends, I was doing all the the drugs, I was just, you know, and then when he graduated from basic and came home, he got me pregnant with my daughter.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: So I was 17, I was a varsity cheerleader, and I was partying all the time, you know, and I tried to hide it from my mom for a long time, like months.
16:26
SPEAKER_03: Wait, wait, hide the pregnancy?
16:28
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
16:29
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: I just I just wasn't.
16:32
SPEAKER_03: So senior year you're pregnant?
16:33
SPEAKER_00: Um, I was yeah, I was a junior.
16:35
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so junior year you're pregnant.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, and then he had to leave again.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: I I don't know why.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: I guess he had to go do some more like training or something.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: So he got me pregnant and then left.
16:48
SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, uh it was it was a hard time.
16:51
SPEAKER_00: But my mom So how did you tell your mom?
16:53
SPEAKER_00: Well, this is the crazy thing is that like I told you my mom started drinking after we moved.
16:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she got with this guy, and um they were drinking a lot together.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: Like they drank so much.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: Um, my house became like the party house, and everyone was always drinking at my house.
17:11
SPEAKER_03: So you had the cool mom.
17:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
17:14
SPEAKER_03: And like she was like serving.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like we'd be playing beer pong on our kitchen table, and everyone was there.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: I'd be literally in my cheerleading uniform because we just had a game and I'd be, you know, it was it was crazy, a crazy time.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: I look back at it and I'm just like cringing.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, why?
17:30
SPEAKER_00: Like how?
17:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, so I think my mom figured it out somehow.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: She like just knew that I was pregnant.
17:39
SPEAKER_03: Did you stop drinking or drugging or anything?
17:41
SPEAKER_00: No, I didn't.
17:43
SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
17:45
SPEAKER_00: I I don't know.
17:46
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I was 17.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: I I didn't, I don't know.
17:49
SPEAKER_03: So you just kept rolling?
17:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
17:51
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
17:52
SPEAKER_03: So you've got you got this baby, you're rolling, you're drugging, you're doing it.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
17:57
SPEAKER_03: How does she know?
17:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, she just figured it out.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: I I don't know how.
18:00
SPEAKER_00: Um she's just like she she knew I was pregnant.
18:04
SPEAKER_03: She just goes, You're pregnant.
18:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she was like, I can tell, I can tell you're pregnant, blah blah blah.
18:09
SPEAKER_00: Did she tell your body was changing or yeah, and I think just I hadn't asked her for like feminine products and you know stuff like that.
18:16
SPEAKER_00: She I I don't know how she figured it out, but she did.
18:19
SPEAKER_00: And um and then um so shortly after that, I what was her reaction?
18:29
SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I think she was so like into her own like world alcoholism and whatever she I I mean she I think she was even doing some drugs too.
18:39
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know, like I think I held on to a lot of resentment for a long time because I she wasn't a better parent in that time.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: And um it's it's not fair to for me to, you know, be mad about that because she dealt with her own, you know, issues.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: But um, yeah, I I told her that I wanted to that me and Chase were gonna get married and that I was gonna move to California with him because that's where he was gonna be stationed.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: And um And she was like, cool.
19:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: She was like, I was like, but you have to sign for me to get married because I'm only 17.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: And she was like, Okay.
19:17
SPEAKER_00: Um I guess that was better than you know me being like, I'm gonna do it by myself, or you know, he's not gonna be involved or whatever.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: So she was just like, okay, cool.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: So basically I graduated a year early.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: I got into this program where they let you finish online and stuff like that.
19:35
SPEAKER_00: So um I graduated a year early and then um moved out to California when I was probably like five months, five or six months pregnant.
19:46
SPEAKER_03: Did you get married?
19:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
19:48
SPEAKER_00: And so how it was good.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: We just had like a small wedding and um we get married on the beach.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: No, it was actually in a church.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh nice.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:57
SPEAKER_03: Well, so how okay, so talk to me about your like Jesus, any any person in Taylor going like, hey, do you want to go to church or do you want to anything?
20:09
SPEAKER_00: No, I wish.
20:11
SPEAKER_00: I wish.
20:11
SPEAKER_03: Anybody anybody at Stony Point going like, hey, I I actually sometimes go to church.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: No, it it's crazy.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: It's crazy.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: Um nothing nothing like that.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: But not until I got into like the harder drugs that I had like What are harder drugs?
20:30
SPEAKER_00: Meth.
20:31
SPEAKER_03: Okay, meth is like that is that the most hard?
20:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:34
SPEAKER_03: Or I guess heroin isn't it?
20:35
SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, heroin, or now like fentanyl or something.
20:37
SPEAKER_03: Okay, yeah.
20:37
SPEAKER_03: So heroin, did you ever do heroin?
20:39
SPEAKER_00: I did it once, but not for me.
20:41
SPEAKER_03: What does it do to you?
20:43
SPEAKER_00: I felt like I was dead.
20:44
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: I felt like I was dying or I was about to die.
20:47
SPEAKER_03: And I was like heart racing, or no, or you just get so tired or sleepy.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: You're just so out of it and sleepy and um like don't know what's going on, just feel so down, like it's just not a good feeling.
21:01
SPEAKER_00: I don't understand how anybody could want to do that.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: I guess if they've been through enough pain and hurt, they're trying to cover it up.
21:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's a huge downer.
21:09
SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes.
21:10
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
21:10
SPEAKER_03: And then meth is an upper?
21:11
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
21:12
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so what does meth make you do?
21:14
SPEAKER_00: So it's like Adderall or um, you know, I mean, I don't have ADHD, so I've never, you know, so is it just like hyper-focused, hyper excited?
21:24
SPEAKER_00: Yes, very um, just like speed, you know, you're just going, going, going.
21:30
SPEAKER_00: Um, but getting back to, you know, California.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: California, got married.
21:35
SPEAKER_03: What city?
21:36
SPEAKER_03: California.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: Um Oceanside.
21:38
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
21:39
SPEAKER_00: So he was in that's nice.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, it was really nice.
21:42
SPEAKER_00: We had a really nice apartment.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: Um I I wasn't even like scared, you know.
21:50
SPEAKER_00: Like I just moved from I all my family didn't have anybody, about to have a baby.
21:55
SPEAKER_00: Like I the fact that I wasn't, you know, more.
22:00
SPEAKER_03: Scared or did you go to church then?
22:02
unknown: No.
22:02
SPEAKER_00: So this is where things got start getting really, really bad.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: Um, so there's some people that join the military and they come out better people.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: Some of them, you know, like that wasn't the case for my ex-husband.
22:18
SPEAKER_03: He just got angrier?
22:20
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
22:20
SPEAKER_00: He changed to a completely different person.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, and it was very unfortunate.
22:26
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think um he drank a lot and he was a compulsive liar.
22:35
SPEAKER_03: And so usually with soldiers, some or Marines, there's usually a strip club nearby.
22:41
SPEAKER_03: Did he ever go to the strip club?
22:42
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
22:42
SPEAKER_03: Oh, there you go.
22:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so here's a crazy story.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, so I have my baby there, right?
22:47
SPEAKER_00: My um both of our parents come in.
22:50
SPEAKER_02: Nice.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, and my mom actually showed up late and she was drunk when she got there.
22:56
SPEAKER_00: I guess she got drunk on the plane.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, but she was drunk when she got there.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: And um I I can b vaguely remember anything about the hospital experience, anything like that, but or any of even them being there.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: Um, but when when throughout the newborn stage, things started getting really, really bad and like traumatic.
23:21
SPEAKER_03: What do you mean?
23:22
SPEAKER_00: I guess because um my my apart my house was still like a party house for wait, even with a baby?
23:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, even for like chasing his friend, like so nothing changed.
23:32
SPEAKER_03: You you go to California and you're like, let's party.
23:35
SPEAKER_00: No, yeah, it yeah.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: It was it was really, really hard.
23:39
SPEAKER_03: Um so did was there any part of you're like, hey, I kind of need to go nurse this baby for a while or not before.
23:44
SPEAKER_03: I mean, or you're like, I bring it.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: I had I was I had just turned 18, you know.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm still a kid, I still want to have fun.
23:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but there there was a lot of those moments where I'm like, okay, like this is enough.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm I'm tired, like my baby can't sleep when there's like all this noise.
23:59
SPEAKER_00: Like it was it was non-stop all the time.
24:02
SPEAKER_00: Um but there was this one time where Chase told me he was going uh to uh like a I guess a thing in the mountains to train uh sniper train, sniper training in the mountains, um, and that he was gonna be gone for a week.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: And he left me and Peyton there, and I had no car.
24:27
SPEAKER_00: Um, but like I had money, I just didn't have a car.
24:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I knew my neighbor, so there was that in case anything happened.
24:35
SPEAKER_03: But could you Uber anywhere?
24:36
SPEAKER_03: I guess not with the No.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't think there was really Uber.
24:40
SPEAKER_00: I I would ask my neighbor for ride sometimes but this was 2010.
24:45
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: So um basically he left me there for a week, and um later I find out that him and his buddies went to San Diego and they stayed in hotel room, uh hot hotel rooms for a week and strippers, coke, did all the things.
25:04
SPEAKER_00: Um one instance, but that happened all the time.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: And I just thought, like, oh, this is this is our life now.
25:13
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, he's gotta go do this and he's gotta go do that.
25:15
SPEAKER_03: That's not part of it, you know.
25:17
SPEAKER_03: He's taking care of me financially.
25:18
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
25:18
SPEAKER_00: That's what I thought.
25:19
SPEAKER_03: Like, I would spend money on there's no part of you maybe no part.
25:23
SPEAKER_03: There wasn't you're you just sort of accepted like part of being, you know, you're a child in a sense, part of being 18 and having a baby is you have a husband that go gets loaded on drugs and has sex with strippers.
25:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
25:39
SPEAKER_00: I mean, once I found this all out, I I was I was not having it, but it was a lot leading up to that point.
25:46
SPEAKER_00: Like he his anger was so bad that he would get in fights all the time.
25:51
SPEAKER_00: And um with other Marines?
25:53
SPEAKER_00: Other anybody.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: Anybody anybody.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, he was like a gamer.
25:57
SPEAKER_00: So he would play, you know, like Call of Duty and those kinds of games.
26:00
SPEAKER_00: And when he'd lose, he'd like rage out.
26:03
SPEAKER_00: Like there was holes in our walls from him like punching the walls or like throwing things at the walls.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: One time he threw a controller at my head, like crazy.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: He was very violent.
26:14
SPEAKER_00: And um there was this one time where my baby was sleeping, and um I just hear this like loud crash in the living room, and I come in and he had put one of his friends through a glass coffee table in our living room, and this guy was huge.
26:29
SPEAKER_00: This my ex was not that big.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: He, you know, short and socky.
26:34
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and this guy was huge, and he had a huge gash on the back of his head, left like, you know, crying, just yeah, it was it was crazy.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: I was like, your baby is asleep in the other room.
26:47
SPEAKER_00: What are you doing?
26:48
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't even know what they were fighting about, but that's just the kind of stuff that would happen all the time.
26:53
SPEAKER_00: Um, another another incident that happened was we were walking on a boardwalk, and I guess like I tripped and like fell, and uh somebody saw and kind of like laughed, and he just went right up to him and just knocked him out right in front of me.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, What just happened?
27:13
SPEAKER_00: Like, I this was not the person that I married or that I knew.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: Like it was really scary, it was traumatizing.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: And at the time, I didn't realize how traumatizing it was.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: Like I just was like, Whoa, this is crazy.
27:27
SPEAKER_03: Um, but finally, so when he threw the controller at you, do you ever like you know put your throat up against the wall?
27:36
SPEAKER_03: That kind of like like so like lift you up, don't you ever do it?
27:40
SPEAKER_00: Like, he would throw me around and stuff like that.
27:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
27:43
SPEAKER_03: And so how did you respond?
27:45
SPEAKER_03: Like, was there any friends that were like, hey, is this normal?
27:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, his friends.
27:51
SPEAKER_00: That's what happened one time.
27:53
SPEAKER_00: Was so this is how it happened was he would talk to somebody on the phone for a long time, and he would say it was his corporal, and he had the name in his phone as corporal whatever, yeah.
28:07
SPEAKER_00: And um, one day his friend was like, You don't just talk to your corporal like that.
28:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's very weird.
28:13
SPEAKER_00: I don't, I don't know what who he's talking to, but that's not that's not right.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: That's not normal.
28:18
SPEAKER_00: And so I one day while he was like passed out drunk, I called the number and it was a girl who answered, and she said, Oh, this is his girlfriend.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: Um, I thought y'all got divorced and that you left and took the baby or something like that.
28:34
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, What?
28:36
SPEAKER_00: No, like that's that didn't happen.
28:39
SPEAKER_00: Um, but um that night I I washed his iPhone in the sink and put it back in his pocket, and then I called my mom and I said, I need a plane ticket to come home immediately.
28:50
SPEAKER_00: Like, I can't do this anymore.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: I'm done.
28:53
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I left while he was asleep.
28:56
SPEAKER_00: I took my child and I went home and my dog.
29:00
SPEAKER_00: I took my child and my dog and I went home.
29:02
SPEAKER_00: Um and then I tried meth for the first time back in Texas.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: So when I got home.
29:12
SPEAKER_03: So, like, okay, what's the drug right below meth?
29:14
SPEAKER_03: Is that coke?
29:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:15
SPEAKER_03: So you're doing coke in oceanside?
29:18
SPEAKER_00: No.
29:19
SPEAKER_03: No drugs.
29:19
SPEAKER_00: No, I wasn't doing because he's a marine.
29:21
SPEAKER_00: He can't do, he can't really do any drugs.
29:22
SPEAKER_00: And if he was, he was hiding it from me.
29:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:25
SPEAKER_00: They smoked, they smoked this like synthetic weed stuff.
29:29
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, because they got got drug tested.
29:31
SPEAKER_03: So was like a clove or something?
29:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was like you buy it at like smoke shops and stuff.
29:36
SPEAKER_00: It was like some synthetic chemical type of weed that would get them high.
29:40
SPEAKER_00: But um, no, I didn't do anything while I was there because I had a baby and I would like I drank, but that would that was it.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: Um but when I got home, you know, his parents and my parents and everyone was just so excited that we were home and that you know Peyton was there and they all just wanted to, you know, see the baby and keep the baby.
29:59
SPEAKER_00: And I was so like messed up from what just happened and what I had just gone through that I took advantage of that.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: And I, you know, was just like, yeah, here, keeper, you know, not not keeper, but I was just like, I'm gonna go hang out with my friends.
30:15
SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, shortly after um I tried meth for the first time and was pretty much hooked from that point of.
30:23
SPEAKER_03: What's the experience of meth?
30:25
SPEAKER_03: Just times the thousand of all the goodness.
30:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, you really just don't have a care in the world.
30:32
SPEAKER_00: Like, I I call it I call it like the devil, the devil's drug because it literally sucks your soul right out.
30:39
SPEAKER_03: Huh.
30:40
SPEAKER_03: It it you just Did you have any like demonic experiences with that?
30:43
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I is that I would say, yeah.
30:46
SPEAKER_00: I would just say like um you you just completely lose yourself.
30:51
SPEAKER_00: You don't have, you know, you don't have empathy, you don't all you care about is getting high.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: That's literally all you care about from that point on.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: Um, you'll do anything to get it to steal, you know, um just sell yourself.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I never did that, but I knew people that did.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
31:12
SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, it was it was crazy.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: Um I I continued down that path.
31:19
SPEAKER_03: And um This whole time your mom's like, ah, it's it's a phase.
31:25
SPEAKER_00: No, no, she was also deep into drinking and addiction at the time.
31:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so what she kind of tried to escape from, she fully in a sense embraced eventually.
31:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, basically.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: And she, you know, had a a s a slew of different boyfriends throughout who were also, you know, doing the same things as her.
31:47
SPEAKER_03: And um were there I know this is a weird question.
31:51
SPEAKER_03: Was there ever any relationships with people on drugs who are like, oh, that worked out?
31:55
SPEAKER_03: Like they were able to make it.
31:58
SPEAKER_03: Like later on?
31:59
SPEAKER_03: Like no, like, no, no.
32:00
SPEAKER_03: Like they're still doing drugs.
32:02
SPEAKER_03: Like the can I say, could I say it's like a hundred percent failure rate if you're like deep in drugs and you're trying to have a relationship?
32:09
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
32:10
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
32:11
SPEAKER_03: I just want to make sure I I I I figured it was, but no relationships are real at that point.
32:16
SPEAKER_03: Like why is that?
32:17
SPEAKER_00: Because you're just you're the drug like the drugs your relationship.
32:22
SPEAKER_00: The guy, yeah, the guys that I was with when I was um on meth were like I'm so embarrassed and so like I can't even believe that I allowed myself to, you know, stoop that low, but like it's it's the drug.
32:36
SPEAKER_00: You just don't you just don't care, and like the person that I was with was probably like selling it or you know, always had money for it or you know, something like that.
32:45
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, it it took over my whole life for you know probably four four four years.
32:52
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
32:53
SPEAKER_03: Um okay, so you're you're doing the drugs, your mom is whatever, uh, you have your baby.
32:59
SPEAKER_03: How how do you like how does the cycle and spiral end?
33:05
SPEAKER_00: So when Peyton was like three, um I was in and out of jail and um for for drugs.
33:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like were you selling?
33:18
SPEAKER_00: No.
33:18
SPEAKER_00: Um so the f the very first time I went to jail, I um was in a house with well, my house with um my boyfriend at the time and a friend, and we got raided.
33:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
33:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we got in Taylor.
33:34
SPEAKER_00: No, this was in Austin.
33:36
unknown: Okay.
33:36
SPEAKER_03: Like what part of Austin?
33:38
SPEAKER_00: Um, my mom was still living in Taylor, but when I started using drugs, I drifted into South Austin.
33:44
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
33:44
SPEAKER_00: That's where most of my drug use took place was in Austin.
33:48
SPEAKER_03: And you had your baby there too?
33:50
SPEAKER_00: No.
33:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, they had her.
33:52
SPEAKER_00: My mom or his mom usually had her.
33:54
SPEAKER_03: So you just live with your boyfriend downtown and then would go hang out with the baby whenever.
33:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
33:59
SPEAKER_00: So um I the reason why we got raided is because they stole a moped and they like changed, they changed the license plates on it, did all the things, and I guess they brought it inside our apartment, and somebody saw them bringing it inside our apartment.
34:16
SPEAKER_00: And we got raided.
34:17
SPEAKER_03: And um is it like where they kick in the door, like please get it?
34:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I had like rifles in my face while I was sleeping and all that.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: And um because there was drugs in that uh in the house, I I went to jail for uh possession of a container.
34:33
SPEAKER_03: How long were you in jail for?
34:35
SPEAKER_00: I was in jail for first time.
34:38
SPEAKER_00: The first time for five days.
34:41
SPEAKER_00: And I was in a I was in the cell.
34:45
SPEAKER_00: I guess it's like a holding cell.
34:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah that they wait that before they move you to like the main jail.
34:50
SPEAKER_03: So like gen like with just everybody else, just like yeah.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: So I was in a holding cell for five days, which is like unheard of.
34:56
SPEAKER_00: Because usually you're in a holding cell for like 24 hours before they move you to the general.
35:03
SPEAKER_00: I was in there for five days, and I still don't still to this day don't know why I was in there for five days, but I thought I was like I was losing my mind because it's a little tiny cell, nothing in there.
35:13
SPEAKER_00: Like it was it was all the other women in there with you?
35:16
SPEAKER_00: No, I was by myself.
35:16
SPEAKER_00: They had me in a single cell.
35:18
SPEAKER_00: I think it's because I told them I was suicidal, maybe.
35:21
SPEAKER_00: Uh because uh it was my first time going to jail.
35:23
SPEAKER_00: I was scared.
35:24
SPEAKER_00: I they they might have asked me in the questionnaire when you when you're checking in, are you suicidal?
35:29
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, yeah.
35:31
SPEAKER_01: All right, fair.
35:32
SPEAKER_00: I was like, absolutely.
35:33
SPEAKER_00: And so yeah, they they put me in that holding cell for for five days until um somebody bailed me out.
35:38
SPEAKER_03: Your life is like a movie, it really is.
35:40
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so so you're in jail, you eventually get out.
35:43
SPEAKER_00: What what do they they say, oh when I was in jail, I missed a court date for my daughter, custody of my daughter.
35:53
SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh.
35:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, I wasn't expecting to go to jail.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: I, you know, we got raided, so I I was in jail and they gave custody to his mom.
36:04
SPEAKER_02: Oh man.
36:06
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
36:06
SPEAKER_00: And then shortly after that, she moved to California.
36:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:13
SPEAKER_00: So that was really, really hard.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: And um I think, you know, my mom was always my mom got sober, I think, in like 2013.
36:25
SPEAKER_00: And once my mom got sober, and the reason why How'd she get sober?
36:29
SPEAKER_00: Um, probably AA and NA and all that.
36:33
SPEAKER_00: Um, but she the reason why she got sober is because of this happened, you know, because they, you know, my mom showed up to the court date.
36:41
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't there, you know, she felt like she had to fight for Peyton because I wasn't.
36:45
SPEAKER_00: And so she got sober, and then from then on, she was constantly grilling me, like, you need to go to rehab, you need to get clean, you need it, because you know, you need to start working on like getting Peyton back in your life.
36:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like this is crazy.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: Um it took me a while, I think.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I did eventually go to rehab and Where'd you go?
37:06
SPEAKER_00: The right step.
37:07
SPEAKER_00: It's in Wimberly.
37:08
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
37:09
SPEAKER_00: It was an amazing experience.
37:11
SPEAKER_03: All right, now Jesus there.
37:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
37:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's there's church and and Jesus, but the thing that I, you know, that kind of bugs me now when I look back at it is it's they mainly focused on the 12 steps and you know, all that, which is great.
37:26
SPEAKER_03: If it just said higher power and the higher power can be a doorknob.
37:29
SPEAKER_00: Exactly, exactly.
37:30
SPEAKER_00: That's yeah, that's my my issue with it.
37:32
SPEAKER_00: But like, I mean, whatever helps get you sober, yeah, that's that's important.
37:37
SPEAKER_00: Um, and it did um for about six months, and then I ended up relapsing with a friend that I met in rehab.
37:46
SPEAKER_00: Of course.
37:46
SPEAKER_00: We we relapsed together, yeah.
37:48
SPEAKER_03: When you when you do a relapse with a friend that you met in in um rehab, is there any part of you goes like, hey, you know, you want to just blow it all?
38:00
SPEAKER_03: Or like what like what like there's this like you because you know, like if you get close to alcohol, you get close to drugs, you kind of developed a little bit of a margin there.
38:07
SPEAKER_03: And so you're like, Do you just want to throw it all away?
38:10
SPEAKER_03: I mean, what what do you say at that point?
38:12
SPEAKER_03: Um or how do you how do you start thinking, or how does that conversation go?
38:16
SPEAKER_03: Like, hey, I know we just got a rehab, wanna go try some drugs?
38:19
SPEAKER_00: So I think what happened was I went to her house to see her because I hadn't seen her in a while.
38:24
SPEAKER_00: So I went to her house, and then when I got there, I realized she was on bars.
38:29
SPEAKER_00: So she Xanax.
38:30
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
38:31
SPEAKER_00: She was like really messed up on Xanax, and I knew immediately when I saw her that she wasn't sober, and I was like, what's going on?
38:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
38:38
SPEAKER_00: And so did you feel bad?
38:40
SPEAKER_03: So I might as well get yeah.
38:41
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
38:42
SPEAKER_03: It's like sympathetic, hot.
38:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, basically.
38:45
SPEAKER_00: And um so yeah.
38:49
SPEAKER_00: I finally, finally, finally got sober in 2014, 2015.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: That's the last time I did any drugs.
38:58
SPEAKER_03: How'd you but like what'd you do?
39:00
SPEAKER_03: Um said I'm not doing drugs anymore.
39:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I wish I could tell you like a specific thing that happened, but um, I was living with my parents.
39:12
SPEAKER_00: I was, you know, I got a job.
39:15
SPEAKER_00: I think I was working at uh Chili's.
39:17
SPEAKER_00: I got a job at Chili's.
39:18
SPEAKER_03: Which Chili's?
39:19
SPEAKER_00: Lakeline.
39:20
SPEAKER_00: I worked there for five years.
39:22
SPEAKER_00: Um what year was this?
39:24
SPEAKER_00: 20, let's see.
39:27
SPEAKER_00: 2014, 15, 16, 17.
39:30
SPEAKER_03: You probably sort waited on me once or twice.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, probably.
39:33
SPEAKER_00: Um, I started off as a hostess and I worked my worked all the way up.
39:37
SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, so I think my mom and um now stepdad, uh, they've been they've both been together as long as you know, Steven and I have, and they are both really into, you know, AA and the program and stuff like that.
39:52
SPEAKER_00: So they would bring me to meetings and stuff like that.
39:55
SPEAKER_00: And um I was, you know, going to the gym with them.
39:58
SPEAKER_00: They would get up super early and go to the gym before work.
40:01
SPEAKER_00: So I was living with them and kind of, you know, finally, you know, you're like, screw it, I'll just go with you.
40:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, slowly I was like working my way up to um, you know, feeling like myself again.
40:13
SPEAKER_00: And then I met Steven in 2015.
40:16
SPEAKER_03: All right, how'd you guys meet?
40:17
SPEAKER_00: We met through a mutual friend.
40:20
SPEAKER_00: This is actually really funny.
40:21
SPEAKER_00: So I was at a friend's house, and um, she was always trying to like hook me up with people.
40:27
SPEAKER_00: Like she was like, because she was married and she had a baby, and she was always like, You need to find a boyfriend, blah, blah, blah.
40:32
SPEAKER_00: And Steven was actually coming over to sell her weed.
40:37
SPEAKER_00: And um, she was like, Oh, you're gonna love him.
40:39
SPEAKER_00: Like he, you know, he just graduated college, he's got a good family, blah, blah, blah, blah.
40:44
SPEAKER_00: And um, so he came over and he was like, I'm about to go to blues on the green.
40:49
SPEAKER_00: Do y'all wanna go?
40:49
SPEAKER_00: And she was like, Well, I can't because I have a baby.
40:51
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I'll go.
40:53
SPEAKER_00: And so we went to blues on the green together and um literally been inseparable ever since that day.
40:59
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's sweet.
41:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
41:01
SPEAKER_03: So he's doing drunk.
41:04
SPEAKER_00: And you're like only smoking wheat.
41:06
SPEAKER_00: I will say that.
41:07
SPEAKER_00: Like when we got together, um we were not in the, you know, I was drinking, he was drinking, we drank a lot together.
41:15
SPEAKER_00: We had a lot of fun.
41:16
SPEAKER_00: We would go do karaoke together, and you know, we'd go we drank a lot at the beginning of our relationship.
41:23
SPEAKER_03: Um, but I could tell that There wasn't a point where you woke up like, who is this guy?
41:27
SPEAKER_03: I don't really know him.
41:28
SPEAKER_03: Like, you knew or I mean, like, you know what I mean?
41:30
SPEAKER_03: Because like there's a part of the relationship, I'm sure a lot of relationships where you're like, you're not even sure who that was or remember their name.
41:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, definitely.
41:37
SPEAKER_00: Um, and with him, like I like immediately like met his family like early on.
41:44
SPEAKER_00: And um, I I could just tell, like, he was a really good guy.
41:48
SPEAKER_00: Like, I could tell that um he was different than any other person that I'd ever been with.
41:53
SPEAKER_00: Um, and like a part of me like wanted to be better, you know, because you know, I was like, oh, I've been a drug addict and I, you know, all these things.
42:02
SPEAKER_00: So he always just accepted my past, accepted, you know, you know, my past with my my daughter and like everything that I had been through.
42:13
SPEAKER_00: And um I think like I think that's the first like time in my life where I started to realize that like God's working in my life.
42:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
42:25
SPEAKER_00: Like I I had I always say that like in my drug addict days, God was back here, but like now he's up here.
42:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
42:34
SPEAKER_00: I I think the only time I ever thought about God was when I was on meth.
42:40
SPEAKER_03: Really?
42:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I really do.
42:42
SPEAKER_00: Like I would pray.
42:43
SPEAKER_00: Like if I got in situations that were like sketch, I got in a lot of sketchy situations, I would start praying to Jesus and I would be like, God, if you get me out of this situation, I swear I will never, you know, blah, blah, blah.
42:55
SPEAKER_00: So like it's it's a weird thing because like that seed was planted at such a young age that I think that like when you're in that type of like state, there's only like one way to go, and that's like up towards God, you know.
43:11
SPEAKER_00: So um I don't think that like that ever actually left my mind in those times.
43:18
SPEAKER_03: Um okay, so you you are with Steven.
43:21
SPEAKER_03: Do you have do you get pregnant first or do you married first?
43:25
SPEAKER_00: Um we got pregnant when I was like or we got married when I was like three months pregnant with Harry.
43:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
43:30
SPEAKER_03: Get pregnant, get married, and you're like, let's do this.
43:34
SPEAKER_03: And what year was that?
43:36
SPEAKER_00: 2018.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: 2018.
43:39
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so then new life with Steven.
43:41
SPEAKER_03: And then is that where it's like life goes up and to the right, like everything's going well?
43:45
SPEAKER_03: Like, what is what's life like?
43:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it was really good.
43:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, we actually had Harry in 2019 and then COVID hit.
43:55
SPEAKER_00: So it was really crazy.
43:57
SPEAKER_00: It was a really crazy time to have a baby, a new baby.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: And then COVID be a thing.
44:03
SPEAKER_00: Like it was it was just crazy.
44:04
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so so he how when do you figure out Harry's a little different?
44:10
SPEAKER_00: Oh man, so I might get some, you know, slack for this or whatever.
44:17
SPEAKER_00: But um when he was about 18 months, we took him to his normal checkup, like like normal, and um he got like like four shots, like two in each leg.
44:29
SPEAKER_00: And um at that point, like you're your new mom, you don't really like ask questions, you're just like they're just like he needs this, this and this, and you're just like okay, knock it out.
44:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that happened, and then he said the doctor said he'll probably run a fever.
44:43
SPEAKER_00: Um, if he does, just give him Tylenol and should be good.
44:46
SPEAKER_00: If you have any problems, just give us a call.
44:48
SPEAKER_00: So sure enough, he gets a fever, worst fever he's ever had.
44:52
SPEAKER_00: And um, we give him Tylenol, and he goes to sleep for like 13 hours.
44:58
SPEAKER_00: He slept for so long.
45:00
SPEAKER_00: And then when he woke up, I feel like he was different than he was when he went to sleep.
45:07
SPEAKER_00: His eyes were like a little cross-eyed, and um he couldn't make eye contact with us anymore.
45:13
SPEAKER_00: And before that, he was starting to talk, he was starting to develop, I think, like normally.
45:21
SPEAKER_00: And it was really scary.
45:23
SPEAKER_00: It was it was a really um scary and hard thing to go through.
45:27
SPEAKER_00: Um, I think every stage of his life has been completely different, and we've gone through so many different stages.
45:36
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's just been overwhelming.
45:38
SPEAKER_03: Tell me about the different stages.
45:39
SPEAKER_03: What do you mean?
45:40
SPEAKER_00: So um I guess like right now we're in a stage where he's kind of like he gets like stuck in this loop where he just like says the same things over and over again.
45:51
SPEAKER_00: He's just like repeating, repeating, repeating, and um he's like developed this stutter, so it like takes him a long time to say like two words.
46:00
SPEAKER_00: And it hasn't always been like that.
46:03
SPEAKER_00: Like he like I said, he goes through phases where like it could be something else.
46:08
SPEAKER_00: So um another stage that he went through was like a very like OCD stage where um he had to line everything up, you know what I mean?
46:18
SPEAKER_00: Align if there was anything that wasn't like aligned or even, he would go around the house and like fix things and move things around um to a point where it would literally drive us insane.
46:29
SPEAKER_00: We're like yeah, light switches, doorknob, all the lights had to be insane.
46:35
SPEAKER_00: Everything.
46:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
46:37
SPEAKER_00: Um so that was a fun phase.
46:40
SPEAKER_00: Um there's been so many.
46:42
SPEAKER_00: I don't even like it's it's been insane.
46:45
SPEAKER_03: Did he have anger?
46:47
SPEAKER_00: No.
46:48
SPEAKER_00: No, he I would say he has more of these like emotional bursts where he's just like so emotional and you don't know why.
46:59
SPEAKER_00: Like it could just be like the littlest thing, and it'll just make him like, oh, like fall on the floor and cry.
47:06
SPEAKER_00: Like it's just his emotions are all over the place.
47:09
SPEAKER_03: So at this time, were you working?
47:11
SPEAKER_03: Were you stay at home?
47:11
SPEAKER_03: What were you doing?
47:12
SPEAKER_00: I was staying, um, I worked up until no, I I wasn't working at all.
47:17
SPEAKER_00: I um Steve was working, I was staying home with him.
47:20
SPEAKER_00: Um we took him to, I mean, we got him diagnosed at two.
47:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
47:26
SPEAKER_00: And then we shortly got him into ABA therapy, which I think helped him in a lot of ways, but also it just got to a point where it wasn't doing anything anymore because he just like plateaued and nothing was changing.
47:42
SPEAKER_00: So we eventually pulled him out and started him in regular school.
47:46
SPEAKER_03: But um How's regular school then?
47:49
SPEAKER_00: It's going good.
47:49
SPEAKER_00: I think so.
47:50
SPEAKER_03: Which school you guys at?
47:51
SPEAKER_00: Um, he goes to Caldwell Elementary.
47:54
SPEAKER_00: Um he's in um special ed 30% of the time, and then the uh I guess 30, 70, um, and then general ed, the other so does he ever like sprint around the class or oh yeah.
48:07
SPEAKER_00: He does all the things.
48:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
48:09
SPEAKER_00: So we we're constantly talking to his teachers, you know, getting updates.
48:13
SPEAKER_00: We have art meetings all the time.
48:15
SPEAKER_00: We're always up there.
48:16
SPEAKER_00: We're we're always, you know, we're very involved in what's going on.
48:20
SPEAKER_00: Um how did that affect your marriage just with Oh man, I think um, you know, before Jeff Mitchell came into our house that day and invited us to Wells Branch, I think we were in the worst spot in our marriage and um as parents.
48:42
SPEAKER_03: Like why why is that?
48:44
SPEAKER_03: Um, yeah, yeah.
48:47
SPEAKER_00: No, we we were we were extremely broken down from just the just the from life.
48:52
SPEAKER_03: You're tired, you're stressed.
48:54
SPEAKER_03: Yes, nothing you do seems to work.
48:56
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
48:57
SPEAKER_00: Uh you feel like you're failing as a parent, everything you do.
49:02
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, you you get you get somewhere with one thing, but then something else happens.
49:09
SPEAKER_00: Like that's that's usually how it goes.
49:11
SPEAKER_00: Like, yay, we progressed here, but now he's doing this other thing, or yay, we've gotten this far with this, but now he's got this kind of issue.
49:20
SPEAKER_00: Like he has a slew of health issues too.
49:23
SPEAKER_00: Um so you know, doctor visits and you know, medications and all this stuff, it it's a lot.
49:31
SPEAKER_00: It's it's just so much.
49:32
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it feels like you're not doing the best as a parent.
49:38
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think that's a point where we're like really desperate for a savior or you know, something, you know, we needed we needed to be in a church.
49:49
SPEAKER_00: We needed to be surrounded by okay.
49:51
SPEAKER_03: So you come to church that first Sunday.
49:54
SPEAKER_03: Do you remember what that was like?
49:55
SPEAKER_00: I do.
49:56
SPEAKER_03: What was it like?
49:56
SPEAKER_03: I would love to see a reflection of it.
49:59
SPEAKER_03: Like, because when you came, it like you come into this old bar.
50:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
50:02
SPEAKER_00: Like, give me the No, um, I immediately felt at home.
50:06
SPEAKER_00: Like I so growing up in the church that I grew up in, you know, my mom, she would always, she would get on her knees, she would cry, she would, you know, raise her hands up, like she would dance around.
50:18
SPEAKER_00: And I every time she would like cry, I would be like, mom, stop.
50:22
SPEAKER_00: You're embarrassing me.
50:22
SPEAKER_00: Like, can you please chill out?
50:24
SPEAKER_00: Um, but the first time I came to church, I couldn't stop bawling.
50:28
SPEAKER_00: Like I was like, it was like you were speaking directly to me.
50:32
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, wow, like I it, I swear, like it was it was life-changing.
50:39
SPEAKER_00: Like when we came to church, we were like, oh, okay, like this is this is where we're supposed to be.
50:44
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
50:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, and it was a struggle because um Harry wasn't in the best place when we started coming here.
50:53
SPEAKER_03: Um and how was like children's ministry?
50:55
SPEAKER_03: I mean, like to drop Harry off, go then past the We were so excited to drop him off.
50:59
SPEAKER_00: Oh, good, okay.
51:00
SPEAKER_00: I was like someone else's problem.
51:01
SPEAKER_03: Like, I mean, you you leave him there and then you go past the Papa John's, past the Payday Loans place, past the donut shop, past the other bar, uh, and then you finally arrive at the child or at the worship center.
51:10
SPEAKER_03: I mean, how was that for you?
51:12
SPEAKER_00: It was interesting.
51:13
SPEAKER_00: Um I think a lot of the times, honestly, I would have him in the the uh the crime room.
51:19
SPEAKER_00: Like oh the family room.
51:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:21
SPEAKER_00: The the family room.
51:22
SPEAKER_00: I I remember being in there a couple times with him and just watching it from in there with him um because like he either wouldn't go in or it was you know something or we were like he's in a crazy mood today, let's not send him in there.
51:36
SPEAKER_00: Um But we always just kind of like felt guilty for, you know, I don't know how he's gonna be, or if, you know, they're gonna be like equipped to, you know, yeah, deal with him um when he's you know bouncing off the walls or I know my son Austin was like his buddy for a season, which was Yeah.
51:53
SPEAKER_00: I remember Adrian reaching out and him being like, um, can we help can Harry have a buddy?
51:58
SPEAKER_00: Like we we can assign him a buddy, and you know, and we were like, Thank you so much.
52:02
SPEAKER_00: Like we just we wanted to keep going, but you know, it was it was hard, and we didn't want to, you know, burden anyone with, you know.
52:12
SPEAKER_00: So I think we struggled a little bit.
52:16
SPEAKER_00: We were coming on and off.
52:17
SPEAKER_00: And um, sometimes Steve would go by himself and there was a season where where he came by himself.
52:22
SPEAKER_03: I remember that.
52:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
52:23
SPEAKER_00: You know, Jules was, you know, I had Jules.
52:26
SPEAKER_03: We had been Did you watch online at all?
52:28
SPEAKER_00: I did.
52:28
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
52:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I would always watch online.
52:31
SPEAKER_00: Um when I had Jules, I because I was like seven months pregnant when we started coming.
52:37
SPEAKER_00: And then when I had Jules, um, all the ladies made me a meal train.
52:42
SPEAKER_00: And for like a week, people, Melanie, Nicole, you know, everyone was dropping off food at my house.
52:49
SPEAKER_00: And I just remember sobbing like, this is exactly what I've been looking for, like what I've been missing in my life.
52:55
SPEAKER_00: Like it was, it was such a good feeling.
52:59
SPEAKER_00: And um I think that's whenever, you know, we started making it a priority.
53:03
SPEAKER_00: We're like, we're gonna, we started going to second service because we changed from first service service to second service, and then we're like, we're we're gonna come every Sunday, we're just gonna make this work and figure it out.
53:13
SPEAKER_00: And we have been first.
53:15
SPEAKER_03: That's powerful.
53:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
53:17
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so then like because the hardest thing sometimes for ladies is friends.
53:22
SPEAKER_03: Like not all women get along.
53:25
SPEAKER_03: Um, how how is that for you?
53:27
SPEAKER_03: Is that in fact, is that a true statement, or are you like I get along?
53:30
SPEAKER_03: Everybody knows.
53:30
SPEAKER_00: No, yeah, it is true.
53:31
SPEAKER_00: I you want to be friends with people that you can like relate to and that, you know, have maybe like been through some of the same things that you've been through.
53:39
SPEAKER_00: Um not that like you would feel like judged if or if not, but like that's kind of like I think how we all feel as like women.
53:49
SPEAKER_00: Like we we want to be around someone like me, yeah.
53:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like like like-minded people and stuff like that.
53:55
SPEAKER_00: Um it just felt really good to you know have people show up for you like that.
54:01
SPEAKER_00: It was a really, really amazing feeling that you know, didn't know me.
54:07
SPEAKER_00: Um, I had only been going there for like three months, so it was just it was very heartfelt and meant a lot to me.
54:15
SPEAKER_03: And now you're becoming a member and you're getting baptized.
54:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
54:18
SPEAKER_03: Wild.
54:19
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so so tell me about like what what like this whole train.
54:23
SPEAKER_03: I mean, this is crazy.
54:24
SPEAKER_03: I mean, like, I love the the sense of like Jeff came in at at just the right time and just and probably was just like talking about Jesus and cabinets.
54:32
SPEAKER_03: Uh you know really was.
54:36
SPEAKER_03: And that's so sweet.
54:37
SPEAKER_03: And then from there, like that invite, like then all of a sudden you got to hear the word of God, it impacts you.
54:41
SPEAKER_03: You're like, man, was it like I need like how did how did God's word or the preaching or the Bible or whatever?
54:48
SPEAKER_03: Like, like, did you was like, ah, I'm a I mean, maybe you're like, okay, my life has been a disaster and I'm a sinner.
54:53
SPEAKER_03: I need Jesus.
54:54
SPEAKER_03: What was the what was the thought process of all that?
54:58
SPEAKER_00: I think one of the biggest things that like you said in like one of those early sermons was that just like he forgives you for your mistakes or something like that.
55:08
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
55:09
SPEAKER_00: And like nobody needed to hear that more than me.
55:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, I was like, wow, okay.
55:13
SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, ever since we've been coming like steadily, I have started to see like God's works in my life, like bringing people into my life who have become my family through this church, um, restoring my relationship with Peyton that only keeps growing stronger.
55:34
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, what how has that happened?
55:37
SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
55:38
SPEAKER_00: So whenever Steven and I got together, um we started slowly getting her back in our lives when she was about six.
55:47
SPEAKER_00: And um we would see her, you know, about every other weekend.
55:50
SPEAKER_03: Would you go to California?
55:51
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
55:52
SPEAKER_00: She moved back here.
55:53
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
55:53
SPEAKER_00: She moved back here And now is in Jerry.
55:55
SPEAKER_00: That was in Taylor.
55:56
SPEAKER_03: Taylor.
55:56
SPEAKER_03: Oh, sorry.
55:57
SPEAKER_00: So she lived in Taylor.
55:58
SPEAKER_00: We would go pick her up, we would spend time with her there, we would bring her back to where, you know, our apartment where we lived.
56:04
SPEAKER_03: How old is she now?
56:04
SPEAKER_00: She's 16.
56:05
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
56:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and uh from six to thirteen, we had a pretty good relationship.
56:14
SPEAKER_00: And then I would say Steven and I, around that time where we were really struggling, you know, with with Harry and um in our relationship, kind of got a little rocky.
56:28
SPEAKER_00: We were always fighting all the time.
56:30
SPEAKER_00: And when she would come over, we would not be in the best spirits, I would say.
56:35
SPEAKER_00: You know, we were kind of always stressed or mad or tired, you know, and eventually she was just like, you know what?
56:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm good on going over there.
56:45
SPEAKER_00: And so when she was about 13, we I and I took that really hard.
56:52
SPEAKER_00: Like I was like, I didn't really understand.
56:54
SPEAKER_00: Like I was just like, okay, I I took it very personally, and we stopped talking until recently.
57:03
SPEAKER_00: So for about three years, we didn't speak.
57:06
SPEAKER_00: And then one day, you know, we've been coming to church, we've been, you know, getting into our faith, all that.
57:13
SPEAKER_00: And one day I'm sitting with Maria Costello, and I'm telling her all about Peyton, telling her, you know, my life story, telling her about Peyton.
57:21
SPEAKER_00: And then I look down at my phone and she sends me a message on Instagram and she says, Hey, how are you?
57:27
SPEAKER_00: I miss you.
57:28
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, What?
57:30
SPEAKER_00: Like, this is crazy.
57:31
SPEAKER_00: And so I we start talking, and then I went and I picked her up the next day out in Toledo, because that's where she was living at the time.
57:40
SPEAKER_00: And um ever since then, you know, we cried when we saw each other.
57:44
SPEAKER_00: She cried when she saw Harry and Jules because she hadn't seen them in three years.
57:50
SPEAKER_00: She hadn't seen Jules since she was a baby, and you know, so it was very emotional.
57:54
SPEAKER_00: We cried and stuff like that.
57:57
SPEAKER_00: And um yeah, she's been back in our lives now, and she she comes to church with us now.
58:03
SPEAKER_00: And yeah.
58:04
SPEAKER_03: Have I met her and just didn't know it?
58:06
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if we introduced you, but she has been to church with us probably three times.
58:12
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I would make sure you introduce.
58:14
SPEAKER_00: She'll come for my baptism.
58:15
SPEAKER_00: I know she will.
58:16
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
58:17
SPEAKER_03: Okay, all right.
58:17
SPEAKER_03: Wow, that's but amazing.
58:19
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
58:20
SPEAKER_03: Like, so it's I mean, like, this is like very rarely do you get kind of like the bow on a story, but it feel feels like life was chaotic, complete disaster.
58:29
SPEAKER_03: You you know, get invited to church, you come, Jesus reminds you of his great forgiveness, his love for you, and then restoration, joy, yeah, family, friendship, the things, all the things you've always wanted just sort of came together.
58:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
58:45
SPEAKER_00: I can see that happening now.
58:47
SPEAKER_00: It's unfolding exactly like that.
58:50
SPEAKER_00: Um he continues to put the pieces of my life back together and um really like transform my heart and my life in ways that like I've never seen before.
59:05
SPEAKER_00: It's pretty amazing.
59:06
SPEAKER_03: That is amazing.
59:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
59:08
SPEAKER_03: Um tell me what how like you know, with Harry, how old's Harry now?
59:14
SPEAKER_00: He's seven.
59:15
SPEAKER_03: Seven.
59:15
SPEAKER_03: He's the third grade or second grade.
59:17
SPEAKER_03: Second grade.
59:18
SPEAKER_03: So uh uh Paxton is uh seven in second grade.
59:22
SPEAKER_03: So I think they're in class together um at uh at for the Queen Kids.
59:28
SPEAKER_03: And then Jules is how old?
59:29
SPEAKER_00: Three.
59:30
SPEAKER_03: Three.
59:31
SPEAKER_03: So like is there any in this time, is there anything that you do with your children um to tell them your story?
59:37
SPEAKER_03: I mean, maybe maybe Peyton might be a better example of this, but like like, you know, to explain how much how much God loves them and how much you love them.
59:44
SPEAKER_03: Uh are you able to to find a way to be able to bring that into your home so that like that's kind of a a a part of your life?
59:51
SPEAKER_00: All the time, yes.
59:52
SPEAKER_00: Um we pray with our kids every night.
59:55
SPEAKER_00: We you know, read read little, you know, Bible stories, Bible books.
1:00:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, Steve and I pray with them.
1:00:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, we started praying with them before everything we do, basically.
1:00:08
SPEAKER_00: Um but yeah, same with Peyton.
1:00:11
SPEAKER_00: I mean, once we got reconnected, um, I could tell that, you know, she had matured a lot, and um there was, you know, something a little bit different about her.
1:00:23
SPEAKER_00: And she had been going to church for a while.
1:00:27
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think it just really shows, like in her demeanor and everything.
1:00:32
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, we've talked about it.
1:00:34
SPEAKER_00: We've talked about um, you know, how important it is, and you know, just to put God first every day in your life, um, and everything else will fall into place.
1:00:48
SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah.
1:00:50
SPEAKER_03: This is like the greatest story ever.
1:00:52
SPEAKER_03: Well, listen, um, wow.
1:00:55
SPEAKER_03: I can't make it it, it's just like very rarely do you do you hear like, and everything's awesome.
1:01:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, my life's not perfect.
1:01:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm not per I'm not a perfect person, and I still have bad days, and I still have what's the what's like what what are the struggles you face now?
1:01:10
SPEAKER_00: Um just trying to be like patient with my kids and you know, not yeah, not like it's exploding and you know, cussing at them.
1:01:19
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm I'm trying to um, you know, just lead by example and not you know it's awesome.
1:01:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I feel like mine and Steven's relationship is so good right now.
1:01:32
SPEAKER_00: Like we we really just you know, I can just tell a huge difference in in us and how our relationship is currently.
1:01:42
SPEAKER_00: Um it's easier to parent whenever you know you have this like confidence from the Holy Spirit.
1:01:49
SPEAKER_00: Like it's it's easier to get it.
1:01:51
SPEAKER_03: Tell me what do you mean by that?
1:01:52
SPEAKER_03: The confidence in the Holy Spirit.
1:01:53
SPEAKER_03: Like, I love that.
1:01:54
SPEAKER_00: I like this doing this would have been, I I would have been a freaking mess.
1:01:59
SPEAKER_00: Like I I had so much anxiety and like worry and stress all the time.
1:02:05
SPEAKER_00: I I feel like a different person.
1:02:06
SPEAKER_00: Like I have confidence in like everything I do, which is it's crazy.
1:02:10
SPEAKER_00: It's I've always been an anxious person.
1:02:14
SPEAKER_00: I've always been full of like I've been I've been hospitalized for like panic attacks before.
1:02:19
SPEAKER_00: Um, because my like anxiety gets so bad.
1:02:22
SPEAKER_00: Um, I've had to be on like medication for anxiety.
1:02:25
SPEAKER_03: So are you on any medication?
1:02:26
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, nothing.
1:02:27
SPEAKER_03: You're like, so no medication.
1:02:29
SPEAKER_00: No, pet just peptides.
1:02:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:02:31
SPEAKER_03: Well, that doesn't count.
1:02:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:02:33
SPEAKER_03: Uh no, that's so great.
1:02:34
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, it's it is really crazy.
1:02:36
SPEAKER_00: Like I was telling Steven before I came here, like, I'm not even nervous.
1:02:40
SPEAKER_00: Like, what's what's happening?
1:02:41
SPEAKER_00: Like, I I just pray about it, you know, like God give me this the, you know, take away any anxiousness or you know, you know, fill me with the Holy Spirit and you know, let me, you know, speak all truth and all that.
1:02:54
SPEAKER_00: And I just it's crazy.
1:02:55
SPEAKER_00: I I would have never had the confidence to do this like a long time ago.
1:03:00
SPEAKER_03: That is so powerful.
1:03:01
SPEAKER_03: Well, hey, Megan, thank you so much.
1:03:03
SPEAKER_03: Uh listen, if you have any questions for Megan, we'd love to bring her back and like we can talk about um raising kids with autism, we can talk about uh overcoming drug addiction and all that.
1:03:13
SPEAKER_03: So, whatever your your your issues, I know that Megan would love to be able to speak into it, but the number is 737-231-0605-Texas.
1:03:20
SPEAKER_03: Let us know what you thought.
1:03:21
SPEAKER_03: Uh, we'd love to hear from you.
1:03:23
SPEAKER_03: And so thanks so much for watching.
1:03:24
SPEAKER_03: Megan, thanks so much for giving us your story.
1:03:26
SPEAKER_03: Any final thoughts before we wrap up?
1:03:30
SPEAKER_03: If someone didn't know Jesus, what would you tell them?
1:03:32
SPEAKER_00: I would say just give it all to him because he gave it all for you.
1:03:37
SPEAKER_00: And just watch and be amazed by how he can transform your life.
1:03:42
SPEAKER_03: Can't say any better than that.
1:03:43
SPEAKER_03: Hey, thanks so much for watching.
1:03:45
SPEAKER_03: Um, have an awesome week, of course.