Latest / Books4Guys / Who Says I Can’t? Rob Mendez on Mindset, Resilience & Overcoming Challenges

Transcript

Who Says I Can’t? Rob Mendez on Mindset, Resilience & Overcoming Challenges · Books4Guys

• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that was an unexpected uh event I I went to.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I was in Atlanta all week last week and got delayed uh coming back actually because my wheelchair got damaged.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I had to stay an extra night and made the best of it, looked up uh where Georgia Tech was at.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't even know Georgia Tech was in downtown Atlanta, to be honest with you.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: So one thing led to the next, yeah.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, dude, that's cool.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: I used to live in Atlanta actually, uh, so I keep up with Georgia Tech, Georgia, but then I saw you got your picture with the Mendoza family, which was pretty cool.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, I'm big fans of watching watching both of them play, but I was like, dang, that's cool.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Rob's there with them.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that was the highlight of the trip, I must say.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's cool, man.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Rob, I appreciate you taking the time to do this.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I know I've been I've been pestering you with LinkedIn messages, trying to get a hold of you and get you on this platform just because, man, I've been a big, a personal fan of yours.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you know, I'm a big sports guy.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: I saw your story on ESPN uh several years ago, and then I bought your book, Who Says I Can't?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I was trying to find it.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: I've got your book, but my wife and I moved, and I was like, what box is the book in?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to get it for the podcast.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And uh it's somewhere in this house.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: I was trying to get it.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was trying to get it, but I'll uh I'll find it here here eventually.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: But man, I love the book and uh love the message, and and a lot of my friends, man, they know who you are too.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I was telling them that you're coming on, so I'm excited to share your message.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, Rob, for those who maybe don't know much about you, you know, maybe they they've seen the the highlight on ESPN, they've seen a little clip here or there.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Man, just from a from a high-level, you know, podcast style overview, man, what what is your story?
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: How how did it how did it begin?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I'm gonna obviously ask you some questions of some things that have gone on with you know your story over the last several years, but but man, talk about you know be being born with with the challenges that you've had and kind of how that's progressed to to where you're at.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Well, just a little bit of the background, uh, how I got into coaching was I was always around sports.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: My dad and my grandpa were playing uh baseball when I was a kid.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, actually when I was a baby, you know, I was probably like a a little toddler in the dugout, just hanging out with my dad's friends and watching him play baseball.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: But anyways, I come from a small town, uh Gilroy.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's actually not small anymore, it's pretty big now.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: But Gilroy is the garlic capital of the world.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: And football, wrestling, all the high school athletics, all sports, little league baseball.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: It was always really big around where I came from.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: So my friends were playing and and I grew up in a great community where I was included in a lot of things, and I think maybe just because of uh I grew up in a small cul-de-sac, and there was a lot of kids my age, so I was very fortunate to be able to hang out with a lot of kids my age and just basically be included in the street hockey, use my wheelchair as a big uh blocker of the goal.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I always played goalie, put the put the backpack in front of my chest as like a chest protector, and I my dad got me an actual um goalie helmet, so yeah, I was always just involved in sports.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I gotta be honest, when I was, you know, five, six, seven years old growing up as a kid, I never thought about even being a part of a football team, let alone being a coach.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: Football wasn't the number one sport growing up, it was baseball and hockey.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: And my dad had season tickets to the Sharks, and my dad also played baseball, so he was a big Giants fan, and my grandpa was a diehard Giants fan.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: But football was kind of the the third, if not maybe secondary, maybe 2D.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: When one hockey and then baseball was 2A and football was 2D, or maybe even three, I don't know.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, so I wanted to be an announcer just being a part of sports.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I would pretend to be the PA announcer when I was at the Shark Tank at the Sharks Games.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Sharks goal scored by number 11, Owen Nolan.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I just loved it.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: I loved trying to be a part of it.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: But as I got older, I got more involved into the teaching aspect and studying the the game a little bit and just being a team manager all four years of of high school.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: My senior year, the freshman coach asked me if I'd like to coach the following year after I graduated, and I just was like, yeah, definitely.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: So that was my first job as a football coach right out of high school, coaching the freshman team.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: I was 18 years old, yelling and shouting at all these other 14-year-old kids, and I'm only four years older than them, and just kind of just feeling all, you know, just yeah, I can tell people what to do.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: And it was pretty cool just to feel the the ability to coach and teach, but definitely learned a lot along the along the way.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's awesome, man.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it's I was gonna ask you, you know, I I got several friends that are that are high school coaches now.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I played in college with a lot of my teammates.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, they're coaching across the country, and and it's really cool because that's where we've implemented a lot of our Books for Guys player of the week programs at um because they believe in in what we're doing over here.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: So we're it's pretty cool.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: I I get to from a distance be a part of their programs.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: And and I man, I would love to coach.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I it's such a grind.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: I see the hours they put in.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, man, if I could just be the hype man, give me, give, let me do the halftime speech or the pregame speech, like then I'm all in.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: But man, all that film and and all that stuff you guys do, man, it's it's it's a lot of work.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: And one thing I was gonna ask you is just, you know, we we guys like me, like we see your story and we see like how positive you are, and we see like the the great accomplishment of becoming a coach.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Man, what were some of the challenges for you on a day-to-day basis?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, obviously coaching is hard work in general, you know, but for you personally, you I mean, there's no no to dying, there's extra challenges that come with it.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: What were some of the things that you had to to kind of persevere through to be the best that you could be?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I would definitely say transportation was a big challenge for me.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um even till this day, it's still a a challenge to get to where I need to get to.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I don't let that hold me back or I don't want to complain about anything.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: I I really do feel like complaining is is poisonous for anybody, um especially myself, where you know there could be other limitations or I have limited options doesn't mean I'm diff disabled.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: I I feel that word has been ingrained in this society way too much.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: I really don't like the commercials and the program, which I do believe they uh they do have great cause for people with disabilities, but the term disability is an ugly word, it is to me.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason is because uh we are all disabled in our own way if we believe that.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: So if we were taught at a young age that we were disabled and that we're gonna try to really make it cheery and and upbeat, no, the only disability is really your mindset.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: If you hold yourself back, that's that's where you know you can really become disabled, is when you hold yourself back.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: But anyways, getting back to a lot of the challenges of coaching with my situation, you know, I didn't have a van when I first got into coaching, and I was coaching at Gilroy High School, you know, my first year where I graduated.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: But even then I had to cruise my wheelchair a good like 20 miles, or not 20 miles, 20 minutes.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: It was about maybe no more than two miles.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, it was summertime, you know, summer bald in Gilroy, it's about 95 consistent.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: It reaches 100 once in a while, and I was just powering through it.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: I guess I was young because I don't see myself really doing that right now at 38, just powering through, you know, in 95 or 98 degree weather, getting to football practice.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: But you do what you gotta do, especially when you're, you know, you have that determination, uh, when you have that drive.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh when you are starting something big that you are limited on resources, you just gotta do what you gotta do.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so I guess you can say transportation, the heat, the hours in my chair also really prolonged, you know, my my I guess you can say pain.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um we all have back pain, but for me, you know, sitting down, you know, compared to six or seven hours a day, it prolonged it to ten to eleven, possibly twelve hours a day.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I guess just figuring out what I can and can't do is the ultimate uh focus I've always had.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't let, you know, just a little bit of physical pain stop me from really just getting to where I want to go as a teacher and a coach.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: But I do like to consider coaches as teachers, uh, because I truly believe that if you do it the right way, you're teaching the sport more than anything because the athlete will have it, you know, somewhat of a foundation of abilities and you're gonna, you know, reform or refine their abilities and their mechanics, or maybe just uh present a strategy to them where they didn't know, you know, as an offense coordinator, I fell in love with that part of the sport.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, when you do the the the right thing, it's more of just like teaching people to believe in themselves and showing them the how-to.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, yeah.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I love that, man.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: The guys, the young guys that you got to coach, do you uh do you keep in touch with them at all?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do you uh do you hear from those players from time to time?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And and just what was the most rewarding experience?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like what was the most I don't know, what is something you're most proud of of coaching those young guys?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I keep in touch with a lot of them on social media.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: They've reached out on Instagram.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we'll we'll message each other back and forth once in a while here and there.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we actually during the pandemic, this was still a while back, but we had a a little Madden tournament going, and I reached out to a lot of the former players, so that was pretty cool just to reconnect with them through Madden.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, you know, each year I just took a new job as a as an arena football coach, and I was focused on that all summer long.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that you know, life just gets really busy.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for reminding me.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: I should reach out to people that I haven't talked to in a while, so I I definitely should reach out to a lot of the younger athletes that I've coached in the past.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm kind of laughing though, because my wife, she coached high school volleyball for a long time, and then the other day she was talking about how weird it is, because kind of what you mentioned, she she doesn't really talk to him a whole lot, but she'll be like, Man, I got this.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: They're messaging me on Instagram now and and all these socials.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, it's so weird these athletes I coached, and they're like trying to Instagram me.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, I'm trying to block them.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want them to see what I'm doing.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: For me, the best part is running into them, running into them organically, just out of nowhere.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: And that is one of the coolest, you know, parts of the day or the week, just to see them driving, also driving a car, telling me about what they do now.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, a lot of these uh young guys are you know getting into law school and and can teach me a lot of stuff that I have no idea what they're learning about.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just cool to see them grow and develop.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: And anyone in general that you just meet along the way, whether if they're a friend or a student or a teacher, just to reconnect with people is is awesome.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's awesome.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Man, you I'm curious to know, you know, you've man, you've got to do some really cool things.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna put your website link in in the show notes for people to see.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, one of the first things on there is there's a quote from Tom Brady and then Donald Driver.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then obviously, man, you you were at the Espies and have this incredible time in your life where you're getting to meet a lot of cool people and your stories out there.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: And just what was that like for you personally?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And and how did that, I don't know, how did that change some of your trajectory and and just some of the things that you thought were possible?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: I know you says like, I know you say, who says I can't, but you know, going through that experience and and doing things that a lot of people just never get the the chance to do, just what it what was that like for you and how has that again kind of changed your path moving forward?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that question I used to jump on and get really excited and tell people about, you know, from beginning to end the experiences, but really just experiencing life itself before and after, you realize what is really important in in life.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: And trust me, it was like living in a in a little cloud for that year in 2019.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I was all over, you know, the country speaking to you know audiences in New York City and Florida.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: But I think just coming back home and you know getting settled in and after the you know the dust settles is what they say.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: You really start realizing what's important.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, there is nothing better right now in my life than being a father and and just really kind of being there for him and hanging out with him.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: I thought football was everything until uh until Rock came around.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: His name is Keanu Rock.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: And uh we've always called him Little Rock, but I think that you know, that Espie's you know week was incredible just to have Adrian Peterson come up to me and ask me to take a picture.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: Adrian Peterson was one of my favorite running backs, you know, watching him grow up in the 2000s, you know, getting a seed boomer, not boomer sizing, but uh Chris Berman.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: I gave him a little shout out right before, but that was like my idol growing up watching uh you know NFL NFL Countdown and NFL Live and everything, just him doing all the highlights.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: Life is about really just taking it all in and being humbled.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I think more than just the excitements of dancing with Gronk at the at the pre-party or you know, hanging out with Gronk's brothers and taking me from place to place to place, which is really fun, don't get me wrong.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: I think that I've just appreciated more of home life more than anything after the journey of the SPs and traveling and things like that.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: I just got back from Atlanta, and don't get me wrong, I love visiting the battery and Truis Park, and it was just a coincidence that the Giants were in town that evening, but there's nothing like home, and I'm really happy to be back here in San Diego.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very blessed to be, you know, down here where it usually is nice weather where I can cruise from point A to point B with no problem, but it's actually in the 90s down here in San Diego, and that's a rare situation.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: But I think what I'm really trying to say is just after the long journey of accomplishments, the sun doesn't stop rising, the sun doesn't stop going down, and you just gotta really start realizing to maintain happiness, not success only, but to maintain happiness.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Partying with the Gronk family is probably in my like top five uh bucket list items to do if I ever get a chance to do that.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I I can't imagine how wild and cool that experience was for you.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: And uh we joke about that all the time.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Me and my friends were like, Man, I don't know if we would survive a night with the with the Gronk family.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, thank thank goodness I had a good team to discipline me and point me in the right direction.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, don't get me wrong, I always made my own decisions, but I had a good coach and a good life coach, and you know, there was some times where, you know, I drank some alcohol with them and got a good time and had a good time, but you know, at the end of the day, you definitely don't want to you don't want to get off track, basically.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, yeah.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Rob, with with all of the, and I'm kind of going back to 2019 when things are just like just taking off for you, and then it sounds like, you know, since becoming a dad, your your mindset has changed a little bit um and just the way you see life a little bit differently, you know, in this new stage you're in.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: But because, and I'm again, I'm thinking about that year and just how many people were probably reaching out to you and wanting to talk with you and and just hear your story.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Do did you at the time and do you still have like a feeling of responsibility to share your story and speak as many places as possible?
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: And like, do you feel pressure at all to have to always be on and in a positive, you know, having a smile on your face and always trying to be tough, saying, you know, who says I can't?
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm you know, I can do anything, you know, and I'm more just asking, like, you know, on a day-to-day basis, what do some of those hard days look like for you?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because we all have those days, you know, and who have arms and legs, you know, we all find reasons to have a tough day.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, what does that look like for you?
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: And do you have that added pressure, or have you found a way to kind of say, hey, I'm I can be positive and I love that my story impacts people, but I'm I'm pretty, you know, level headed about where I'm at in life right now.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that that's a good way to put it.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um I mean, I I I'm very fortunate and blessed to be able to sh to carry this story with me and anywhere I go, not anywhere, but a lot of places I go, people will, you know, come up to me and let me know how inspirational it is.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: And and I love it.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I really do enjoy it because I think that if you're not trying to touch other people's lives through your success, then you're just an asshole at that point.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, geez, like let's just be honest.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: With success, you really just gotta try for me.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: I think the best way to put it is to just connect with people organically and the story will take care of itself in the end.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: So like running through airports I is one of my favorite things of when people will come up to me and and not even just want to take a picture, but just tell me how it affected, whether if it was their son, their daughter, or um themselves.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um actually does it goes both ways.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: It reminds me of sometimes when I am having a bad day.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, when I'm having a bad day, it's not necessarily about me not having arms and legs, it's more of like maybe me getting in a difference with my significant other, or you know, maybe me wanting to buy a a nicer van or something like that, right?
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: When you know, I just gotta save and budget for it, right?
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, just every everyday adult challenges that come with uh just living life, especially I mean, with anybody, challenges come with it, so I never want to feel sorry for myself.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: But um, I think the my mindset right now is I I want to use my story to motivate people, but more importantly, I want people to look at me and realize that if he can be happy in a situation like that, and I used to not want to say this, but happiness is everything.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: And if I can share happiness, then I'm I think I'm doing my job down here on earth, and I really want to let people know I'm not happy every day, like a happy-go-lucky kind of guy.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, I'm okay with myself.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very content with myself, and I know there's room to grow, but I'm happy.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I've never let you know, you know, kids tell me, you know, like, oh my god, mommy, look at him.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: And don't get me wrong, it is a little bit, you know, sometimes I I get a little awkward when people put me in in a situation where everybody's gonna look at me, but that's just an opportunity for me to to build off.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: Chris, where are you located at?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: Nashville, Tennessee.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: There's a team out there that uh we play called the Nashville Cats that actually won the AF1 championship this year.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever heard of them?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm familiar with that team.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't been over to see him play yet, but we live like five minutes from downtown, and we always when the season rolls around, we're my wife and we love sports, so we we go watch everything that we can.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: We need to go over there and watch a game because we've seen we've seen all the posters for them.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: We just haven't been to a game yet.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the plan is for me to come back with the Oceanside Stealth.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I I just recently signed halfway into the season with the Oceanside Stealth, which is the uh brand new team here in San Diego.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: So the first half of the season, they were in Nashville and I wasn't a part of the staff yet.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: And then when I did join, we didn't get a chance to play them, but I do know they won the championship and and they were one of the top teams in the league.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: So if I, you know, come out to Nashville next year, I'd I would be really cool to connect in person.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: Or even if you're ever in San Diego, too, that'd be that'd be cool to meet.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, man.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, when the schedule comes out, I'll take a look at that too, and then I'll message you and see see if you're gonna be here.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because heck yeah, man, we'd love to come down there and see you and and watch you guys, watch you coach and and watch the teams play.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: So heck yeah, man, that'd be awesome to to connect in person.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I'll look at the schedule and uh yeah, if I ever make it out west coast too, I'll let you know.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, uh, San Diego is one place I have not been, and I I need to go.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: I've been to LA, I've been a lot of places on the West, I just haven't been to uh to San Diego.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm not a big fan of LA, just the traffic and everything else that goes with it.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not too big of a fan, but you gotta come check out San Diego for sure.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: Are you there?
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: I got to.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Can you see me?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Cool.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, man, I'll ask you, I really just got got one more question for you, just to kind of end this on a on a high note.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you were kind of leaning into it and just the way that you, again, approach your everyday life and and just kind of, man, it's exciting to see what you're doing, what you've done, and just the things that you're continuing to do.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I, and again, I'm gonna make sure I get your website on the notes because I know there's ways that people can support you and the work that you're doing and and what you want to do.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: But one thing I wanted to ask you just kind of before we jumped off here was, you know, obviously, man, I was talking about how everybody, everybody has has problems and things they're struggling with.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I was sitting here thinking, I was like, man, you know, most of us we've got arms and legs and and opportunities and abilities to do things, but there are a lot of us that we create a list of things that are gonna keep us from doing what we want to do rather than thinking, I can do what I want to go do.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so my question to you is is what would you say, you know, what what message would you love to give people who maybe doubt their own ability or doubt their ability to go accomplish what they're setting their mind to do?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: What would you what would you tell those people to to kind of help change the way they think and to help them go accomplish and achieve what they what they can do?
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's a couple things that go into that question, uh, but I think the w the most important thing is uh is taking time to really think about the decision you're gonna make next.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: So it it really comes down to a decision in your mind.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said, it always comes to how you think and how you.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Feel deep down inside, and it's okay to feel sad and feel mad, but the the ultimate outcome is gonna be how you think, because how you think is gonna make you how you react.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, what really helps me is just uh taking maybe a couple hours, maybe a whole day, and just kind of thinking about things on how I can not feel sorry for myself, how can I not make this worse?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: How can I maybe just not necessarily buy time, but maybe right now is not the time to address the problem or the situation, whatever it is, right?
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: So timing could be a big thing.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said, there's a lot of things and a few different ways on how to handle this, but the ultimate thing is how we are thinking in that moment when we're up against a challenge, up against a relationship challenge, up against a financial situation, whatever you're going through in life, if you are really feeling sorry for yourself and you're gonna think that, you're gonna act on that.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's okay, like I said, sorry is not feeling sorry for yourself.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: Feeling feeling sorry and feeling sad is something that you gotta think about like how can I get better tomorrow?
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: How can I get better maybe the next day?
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: How can I get through this?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: How do I and uh a lot of the times when I'm speaking at leadership conferences and things like that, that's one of the biggest factors that I want anybody to really remember is how do we speak to each other?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because when we're working as a team, whether if it's a corporate, football team, baseball team, any kind of group of people, the the how of communication and how we communicate within ourselves too.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because everybody has thoughts of you know how what's next and what we're gonna do next.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: So not really talking to ourselves, but what we're what we're thinking in our minds, we're great at giving other people advice.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just be honest.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: We're awesome at giving our family, our friends, all this advice.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Well, next time that you're trying to give yourself advice, think about maybe out of the box and maybe think of yourself as somebody else and give yourself that best advice.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: Don't feel sorry for yourself.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: So just that moment of thinking of how to get through this.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: Don't feel sorry for yourself, but just take it step by step, day by day, and really be grateful for the breadth that God has given us.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: Be grateful for just everyday abilities because a lot of the times for me, especially, I take for granted sometimes what I'm given every day.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: For example, if if I have a sore on my bottom, right, and I can't sit up, uh, you know, I really truly feel disabled where I can't sit up and roll around in my wheelchair and be independent and active and things like that.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know what?
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: It is what it is.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'll get better in a day or two, you know what I mean?
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: Just take a day off, you know, just lay down for a little bit.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very stubborn and I don't want to take a day off, you know.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: So but God's God's got a plan for us, and sometimes humbling ourselves and really listening to that is is is the key to happiness, and happiness will lead you to success.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: And there is a difference between happiness and success.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: So if that's a tip of advice I can give anyone or everyone, whether if it's books for guys or anyone listening to this podcast, really when you're facing a challenge, just think about how you're gonna overcome it.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: Who says I can't?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: Who says I can't, nobody, man.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Rob, I man, again, thank you so much.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: I man, you brought the heat on that last one, and I think everybody needs to hear that.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's something you can't hear enough.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you just gotta have reminders, you know, find ways to remind yourself to just keep going, to keep pursuing.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, and there's nothing wrong with that.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: We all we all have to lean on others for help and and just and motivation sometimes.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's one of my favorite songs to listen to is Lean on Me by Bill Withers when I'm when I'm feeling dumb.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: Listen to music, whatever, whatever works for yourself, just make it work, make it happen.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what this these conversations right here are all about, too.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: Is just hey man, everybody's got different things we're struggling with.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: We're all on this thing together, and you know, let's help each other and and keep moving forward.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so, Rob, again, man, thank you so much.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm so glad you wrote your book because it had a big impact on me.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: I got several friends who have read it, and uh again, they were super excited when I told them that you were coming on the podcast.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I can't wait to turn this around and share this out with everybody and and see the impact that it can have.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: And brother, just keep doing what you're doing, man.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: You've you've done so much already, but there's so much more that you're gonna do, and so much more impact you're gonna have.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: And man, I'm excited to continue following along and to see where your journey leads you.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so thank you for being a part of of the Books for Guys store.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Chris.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate it.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, one last thing for the viewers and listeners, I would love to do travel and share my story.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: I think traveling and meeting people is one of the top things that I really enjoy to do.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: So if if anyone in Nashville or anywhere would like for me to make an appearance and share my story to their students, to their team, whatever it is, um get me on a plane.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: I I love to travel, even though that's another challenge in itself.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, I've overcome it and figured it out.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I really do appreciate your time, Chris, for allowing me to just talk with you and hang out.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, appreciate it, man.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'll make sure all the ways to connect with you are in the show notes through your website, through LinkedIn, Instagram.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'll share all that for everyone who's interested in in following you.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: And and yeah, certainly if there's anyone out there that has an interest in Rob showing up to your company or your school or or whatever events you've got going on, I'll make sure you have a way to connect with him.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so, man, Rob, appreciate it, brother.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Chris.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'll talk to you soon.