Latest / Dear Son, / Clearing the Path Through Life's Storms | Ep 160 | The Dear Son, Show

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Clearing the Path Through Life's Storms | Ep 160 | The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

0:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Nope, you got me check check check.
0:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh You got some yeah, oh, yeah, go go If I ask you off a show.
0:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm all in top of a show clock load it.
0:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, sir Everything is recorded and everything is a goal
0:21
[SPEAKER_00]: People, welcome to this on show.
0:23
[SPEAKER_00]: We have meaningful conversations about life through the lens of fatherhood.
0:26
[SPEAKER_00]: It's for fathers, those with fathers, and the father lesson of what is left out.
0:31
[SPEAKER_00]: These are the conversations we want our sons to access as they grow through life and the manhoods, so no topics are all for limits.
0:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I want your host, D. John's, I'm your other host, J.
0:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Black, J.
0:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Black, man, my favorite question to start the show off is how you feel about holiday season, man, I'm excited.
0:46
[SPEAKER_00]: This is my, this is my time for the year.
0:48
[SPEAKER_00]: You heard the music, you heard the, the guitars in the violin strumming as you walked in.
0:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, me and on it, I said, man, we're gonna run that in the background today.
0:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I got to get a good price.
0:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I know everybody what up.
1:00
[SPEAKER_00]: This is what we do over here.
1:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm with him I'm with it with it with it.
1:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I'm good man.
1:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I was in the streets last night.
1:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I was in the streets last night in WCP into the year event Yeah, I did it go.
1:16
[SPEAKER_00]: It was good man.
1:17
[SPEAKER_00]: He said it was a small group, but it was my first one Oh, yeah, you know, you all went a couple times before the reason I never worked out for me to go
1:28
[SPEAKER_00]: When he called me about it, I was talking to Joe T about me getting out more in the community, like literally after the conversation about the thing that we, that, you know what I'm saying?
1:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, we got a 3 on trying to figure out and just moving around more, he called me at that point.
1:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I said, okay, all right.
1:46
[SPEAKER_00]: It was cool for me because, you know, me and Crows, I don't work for you.
1:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me grow.
2:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me grow.
2:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me establish a couple of relationships, and know a few people next time I walk in.
2:09
[SPEAKER_00]: It was good.
2:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and then we had some more.
2:11
[SPEAKER_00]: We had a little breathe out to that envelope came out.
2:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, chop it up a little bit man That's a set down up the street a little bit.
2:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, about two, man.
2:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Same.
2:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I was supposed to go last night, but we had a I had two functions last night Imagine that so
2:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I told him working out that for real, like 26, the only double book and I'm doing in 26 man is is is going to be off as I can't I just simply could not refuse forever, it's you know, double book and for the sake of I got you, please please can't slow me when all for right.
2:44
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't find with it.
2:45
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, that's not a context.
2:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, because we don't get it together.
2:49
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it's not.
2:50
[SPEAKER_00]: It's two a.m. No, I know you it.
2:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, true.
2:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I know you it.
2:54
[SPEAKER_02]: True, true, true, true.
2:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I was saying about the joke, I'm next door, but I'm 10 minutes later.
2:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, I'm running the traffic.
3:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't wait.
3:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't, don't wait was backed up.
3:04
[SPEAKER_00]: was backed up and so if like share and subscribe man we can't go much further but I'll say thank you for the support this award is continuing thank you second I guess viral I probably just look up with viral means but another real hit a million yeah another real hit a million and it's still pushing I think I said 1.3
3:24
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, this is, the reals are, it's connecting our natural conversations, I connect absolutely.
3:31
[SPEAKER_00]: So I, I've never wanted to try to figure out how to be something else.
3:35
[SPEAKER_00]: No, to get traction.
3:37
[SPEAKER_02]: No, because I can't sustain it and I can't stand it because then as it's disingenuous, like I, I, I can talk about what I know and what I feel.
3:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, man, this happened to me today.
3:48
[SPEAKER_02]: But as you want me to sit down and script, fictitious story, I can't do that.
3:53
[SPEAKER_00]: No, or just say everything everybody else is saying.
3:56
[SPEAKER_00]: No, like, there's enough people out there saying everything about the things that we're not talking about.
4:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
4:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Appreciate y'all.
4:03
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going, we're going to jump right into it today's topic for those that don't know, don't want to take for granted where you joined in the journey.
4:10
[SPEAKER_00]: So this might be the first experience.
4:11
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't discuss topics prior to the show.
4:14
[SPEAKER_00]: We maintain the topic bank that when something hits our spirit, you know, we'll drop it in there, but that it doesn't mean we're actually going to talk about it at a specific time.
4:22
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I have no idea when to just say, this one is not even in there.
4:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Not even as you hit me last week with that, um, today's topic is, this one, sometimes the storm is just clearing the path.
4:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Mmm, sometimes the storm is just clearing the path.
4:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Five, four, three, two, one, what you got.
4:50
[SPEAKER_02]: We sometimes distract it from what we supposed to be doing.
4:55
[SPEAKER_01]: So, when there's a purpose, aligned with what you're supposed to be doing.
5:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And the universe watching, and if you off the path,
5:09
[SPEAKER_01]: I tell you what.
5:10
[SPEAKER_01]: You look at it.
5:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I saw you look at it.
5:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I saw you look at it.
5:14
[SPEAKER_01]: It was blocked.
5:16
[SPEAKER_02]: This storm is to grab your attention.
5:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Get your attention from over there and over here.
5:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And now you focused on this, my best plan of action right here.
5:28
[SPEAKER_02]: It's why I suppose to be in the whole time.
5:30
[SPEAKER_02]: But if I didn't destroy that other thing, if I didn't break that car down, you wouldn't have even been in the market.
5:36
[SPEAKER_02]: You see what I mean?
5:37
[SPEAKER_02]: If I didn't remove that job or move that opportunity you had, you wouldn't have even submitted for this big a thing that I actually designed you to do.
5:47
[SPEAKER_02]: You see what I mean?
5:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's what that mean to me.
5:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, for me, I mean, that's a big part of it,
5:54
[SPEAKER_00]: be mindful when you're in the storm, the storm doesn't last all ways, right?
6:02
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't typically see it, or you don't typically immediately recognize the value of the storm when you're in it.
6:10
[SPEAKER_00]: But in hindsight, when you see that the after the after effects of it is, now I got a path, right?
6:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm focused on
6:22
[SPEAKER_00]: The storm was for a reason.
6:23
[SPEAKER_00]: It absolutely was for a reason.
6:25
[SPEAKER_00]: So I kind of want to walk through storms.
6:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
6:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Whether they current pass.
6:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
6:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I got some.
6:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I'm a meteorologist.
6:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I figured, man, this is one of the themes has been on this show for the last three years.
6:42
[SPEAKER_00]: It's my transition.
6:43
[SPEAKER_00]: So some days, some days are quite cloudy.
6:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
6:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes the, uh,
6:49
[SPEAKER_00]: The thunder is overwhelming, but in those calm moments, it centers me and help me understand that this is part of it.
6:59
[SPEAKER_00]: This is absolutely part of it.
7:00
[SPEAKER_00]: True.
7:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what you want to start, man.
7:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And they know it ain't no time, period ain't no, you know, we can jump right there.
7:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's life.
7:08
[SPEAKER_02]: on par with what some of them dealing with right now actually imagine that there's some opportunities that I feel like presented themselves we discussed one of them with the facility thing but two often when I feel like I need to add something to the mix I just
7:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I never really quit a job like I'll outgrow something I'm doing, they they almost had to fire me or the I'm not a I'm not a I'm not too private as they I've been fired a time or two in my young life you know I was a young hot air and not that I booked the system but
8:02
[SPEAKER_02]: No, man.
8:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I you were in a fit.
8:04
[SPEAKER_02]: You no longer fit.
8:05
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm no longer a fit correct.
8:07
[SPEAKER_02]: So because I'm no longer a fit.
8:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not going to just leave.
8:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just going to adjust what's going on in the environment like.
8:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Y'all not paying me enough.
8:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to adjust my work load to reflect what I think you're paying me to do.
8:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Which is, perhaps it's below your expectation, but your pay is below my expectation is weird.
8:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Imagine that here we are.
8:32
[SPEAKER_02]: The young hot here.
8:33
[SPEAKER_02]: So, okay, you're fine.
8:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Move on.
8:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Each time it's been a better opportunity.
8:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I can honestly say that.
8:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank God for that.
8:40
[SPEAKER_02]: So again now, I'm like,
8:43
[SPEAKER_02]: economy there's some there's some things taking place in the economy right now we could take advantage of well instead of exploring new opportunities I'm trying to warm up the suit like this is the same old soup reheated I'm gonna jump out of number do this and I think I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna force this and make it for the issue or the correction
9:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Every time I've been saying that in the last two, three weeks, some news of break that this is just downsized, this many thousands of people just exited that lane or that market, this sector is shutting down.
9:19
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, oh, I was about to invest into a move, dealing in that same industry.
9:26
[SPEAKER_02]: So that to me,
9:28
[SPEAKER_02]: the stone right now like there's a lot of uncertainty in the market right now dealing with investments money things of that nature business so because there are so many uncertainties I'm trying to be I'm trying to open my ears in my mind so it's like
9:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Just, that's not what you're supposed to be doing anymore.
9:47
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't do that.
9:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I know that's for me or you, you could probably do that with your eyes closed.
9:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Been there done that, which that's not to be arrogant about it.
9:55
[SPEAKER_02]: It's time to move on.
9:55
[SPEAKER_02]: That was a stepping stone to get you to a place.
9:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I got something that was loading for you all right here.
10:01
[SPEAKER_02]: I want your own divided attention right here on this thing.
10:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I'm dedicating that to, it's the platform.
10:10
[SPEAKER_02]: It's got to be the platform.
10:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Everything else is starting to seem forced.
10:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And this is one of the top three things that are consistently doing what it's supposed to do.
10:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's effortless, if you will, not to make it sound like this is brainless work.
10:31
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's so natural that it doesn't take the efforts to force this.
10:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they're going to swing on a swell.
10:37
[SPEAKER_00]: We call it an eighted.
10:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just, we're ended together, so it makes it make sense, certainly.
10:44
[SPEAKER_00]: The dynamic is different.
10:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I, so it is the honest truth about, I walked away from corporate in my mind long before they exit to me.
10:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And it wasn't me adjusting my effort or being less productive with being, providing less value.
11:03
[SPEAKER_00]: It was, I could not see a path where it was going to be fulfilling.
11:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, lucrative, absolutely true.
11:10
[SPEAKER_00]: And the, as lucrative as a guy for me in that space, I'm satisfied with that as a, as a, as a mile marker, right?
11:20
[SPEAKER_00]: It was beyond what I thought was possible for me in that condensed man at the time.
11:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So I can only be grateful for the opportunity.
11:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel like I was,
11:32
[SPEAKER_00]: stifle was I treated unfairly in my face.
11:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
11:38
[SPEAKER_00]: The things were hard, but I expected rights to be hard.
11:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So maybe maybe I was a little naive about about some things, but I can't assign any regret to that journey.
11:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
11:52
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
11:53
[SPEAKER_00]: What I wasn't prepared for the being honest with was
12:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So the, the, the allure, what's marketed with so on the internet and, you know, and on social media about entrepreneurship is the upside, the upside is really cool.
12:18
[SPEAKER_00]: If you can find the upside, what's not talked about is the toll that takes on you and who you have to become not even talking about business is hard.
12:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking about you.
12:30
[SPEAKER_00]: who you have to become along the way, when you are established as that guy or that person or whatever makes sense for you insert, you know, that into the equation for you, right?
12:44
[SPEAKER_00]: But I was at the place where I literally said I want to be, I said I want to be this by 40.
12:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't have a step by step, right?
12:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I worked hard and I grew and I provided solutions and it happened at 38 or 39.
13:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it didn't get less difficult but I got comfortable with that being a forever thing.
13:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Saturday and settled in, settled in to the grind of that.
13:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep, again, I don't want to do it to anybody that's on well, of course they let you go, not it's business, but I didn't demonstrate anything that was like we can, right?
13:23
[SPEAKER_00]: They get rid of this joke.
13:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
13:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, so coming out of that and shedding the expectations of how how things were continued to work was difficult for me.
13:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
13:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
13:40
[SPEAKER_00]: trying to ignore the obvious and not taking the appropriate steps to make adjustments because the money still looked the same because of how I was accident.
13:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, these are the lifestyle that's still available.
13:57
[SPEAKER_00]: But the lifestyle is only available for a much shorter time because the money stopped.
14:02
[SPEAKER_00]: The money was there, right?
14:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, right, right, right, right, right.
14:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, right, right, right, right, right, right.
14:05
[SPEAKER_02]: The replacement, the replacement, the replacement.
14:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so, so, taking longer to except that I needed to adjust, started putting us a little bit further, then a little bit further, a little bit further back.
14:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you didn't, I'm not gonna say I looked up and it was like, ah, and now it's panting.
14:27
[SPEAKER_00]: neither of those energies work, no, in entrepreneurship, no, no, the big chillin, no, or the panic, like neither, in my case, I know, I'm sure somebody out there, just a little bit, a big chillin, and they make a million dollars every 30 minutes, I'm certain of you.
14:47
[SPEAKER_00]: They only don't make money when they don't want to make money.
14:50
[SPEAKER_00]: not talking to y'all to be clear.
14:52
[SPEAKER_00]: But for me, um, so my high and low were like almost, it felt overnight.
15:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, high, high, high, high, high, high, right, right.
15:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was still have resources still got, you know, access to, to, to, to money.
15:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it clicked like, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, what we got.
15:18
[SPEAKER_00]: The extreme highs and lows is typically how my adult life has worked.
15:23
[SPEAKER_00]: The memorable points, maybe that's just because the extremes I'm more memorable than the norm until you settle into it, but it has taken me some time to be comfortable in the storm.
15:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
15:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Because we take for granted that there are levels of storms.
15:45
[SPEAKER_02]: stones are named and put into categories based on severity.
15:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And because it's based on severity, it doesn't always take a tsunami to flood an area.
15:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't understand.
15:58
[SPEAKER_02]: So because it does not, whatever is needed, whatever is necessary for that correcting moment, that path adjustment.
16:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I had a outdoor event playing this is playing but I just found out for the next nine months just the the rain season for this this area is new so I'm gonna do business three months a year
16:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I have to regroup.
16:28
[SPEAKER_02]: You see what I mean?
16:28
[SPEAKER_02]: So just sometimes little KPIs keep on indicators that would be like this and I got a shift or if I'm need deep in this thing and now maybe perhaps we just experienced climate change.
16:42
[SPEAKER_02]: If you will, it wasn't like this before, but it's like that now and moving forward.
16:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I got a just because if I don't adjust, I'm still living a life that no longer is being sustained.
16:58
[SPEAKER_02]: So therefore it's going to expire.
16:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And like you just said, it is like, I'm in the moment, the blessing is like you said you, you were made aware, like you called yourself like, wait, oh, hey man, yeah, the shift
17:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And then you act it on it and see that's the other thing.
17:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Like you said, everybody sees or wants to talk about the praise of the success of man my idea worked.
17:29
[SPEAKER_02]: But then, sometimes the shame involved or the depression or the anger or the disappointment.
17:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes it's not even that drastic.
17:37
[SPEAKER_02]: It could just be disappointment.
17:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so disappointed that I took this risk.
17:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And I publicly took this risk, even if the public is your family.
17:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I publicly told my family, y'all, but the jump I don't this day.
17:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And then the last thing I want to do is go tell them,
17:52
[SPEAKER_02]: it didn't work.
17:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Make it you making too many too many relatable points because and I hope I can remember to address them.
18:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Working on that in my mind, my memory.
18:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
18:04
[SPEAKER_00]: The first thing you said about the levels of the storm and it doesn't take where one place will flood from an inch of rain,
18:15
[SPEAKER_00]: both places have to be prepared for the flood.
18:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
18:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And in the event that you overcome, say, or diminish the potential for a storm and its effects and you're not prepared.
18:27
[SPEAKER_00]: that's what you know the surprise can be overwhelming.
18:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Case in point, when we live in Dubai, I don't know how many people think about how much it rains in Dubai.
18:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Most people assume that it doesn't.
18:43
[SPEAKER_00]: When I move there, I assume that it doesn't, because it happens so infrequently, but they actually do something called cloud-seeding that actually kind of initiates some right, or accelerates the
18:59
[SPEAKER_00]: The place we were living in doing one of those storms was not built for that and it wasn't unique right it was a they called it a villa it was three floors it was a box basically three box three squares settled top of each other and then on top was an open area that we had like a patio right because it was you can enjoy outside
19:27
[SPEAKER_00]: 80% of the year, wouldn't rain the first thing was like, Oh, like this is kind of unique.
19:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Like this is an amazing experience because we've never thought it would rain here, right?
19:44
[SPEAKER_00]: It's familiar.
19:45
[SPEAKER_00]: It rains back home.
19:47
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is kind of cool break.
19:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
19:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Not only does do the streets flood because the drainage isn't.
19:57
[SPEAKER_00]: There was no drain on that top area.
20:01
[SPEAKER_00]: The patio didn't think about it.
20:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And that particular, yeah, the water collected is basically a big receptacle for the water to collect.
20:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And suddenly, my ear hears the swishing.
20:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Why somebody leave the water on?
20:19
[SPEAKER_00]: The water is coming into the house, down the stairs to the floor under it, down the stairs to the floor under it, down us.
20:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It's cascading.
20:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
20:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Because we gotta go somewhere.
20:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, it's raining through the lights.
20:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Through the electrical sockets.
20:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I am in full panic because water and electricity, typically, you don't tip me, right?
20:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm all around rinsing off my outlets.
20:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Water is literally coming out.
20:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, man, how can I get anybody miss this, not a thing when it's not a consideration.
21:00
[SPEAKER_00]: When you prepare only for the 99.9% when that 0.01 hitchhiking,
21:06
[SPEAKER_00]: not kill stocks is devastating this or the point when he is devastating.
21:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And that parallels to how I was looking at life, because for the last 10 years of my career, mm-hmm.
21:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I hit the number that everybody thinks is that, like, if I just get to, right, yes, if I just get to the, yes, yes, if you, if you, if you ain't making, yeah, I'm saying it, so I'm here now.
21:34
[SPEAKER_00]: So it, it wasn't like that was no longer the, it was cool to get more, but it was like, man, people see me and
21:52
[SPEAKER_00]: But I like to be respected, certainly.
21:54
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
21:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I like it's cool for me to know that you know that I'm an authority on this.
21:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
21:59
[SPEAKER_00]: We ain't got a, we got to have a celebration about it.
22:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to deal with it.
22:03
[SPEAKER_00]: We got to have celebration about it.
22:05
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's more the sense of, I want a solution.
22:07
[SPEAKER_00]: There it got to be part of, absolutely.
22:09
[SPEAKER_00]: That was, that was, that was my draw.
22:10
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
22:11
[SPEAKER_00]: But just expecting everything to always be like that because it had been like that for a time.
22:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I took my eyes off a, rain has come.
22:22
[SPEAKER_00]: The rain is coming and it's cool to dance into the rain until the street float until they float on It's a little what to start coming to your house is no it's no longer it's the same rain, right?
22:34
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a different experience right different experience the other thing you said about Did the public embarrassment I literally War and I still do to a degree the responsibility of changing the narrative from my family
22:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't want to paint it like we like it was big struggle life, but just man, it can be different for generations to come and that's why me this so as I'm excelling and the money is coming in I'm looking different and I'm thinking that this is the expectation that my family had like they can point to an example for others to see again it's not about praising me at all don't get that don't get that confused right but it was like
23:22
[SPEAKER_00]: somebody has to be the first one.
23:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Certainly.
23:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
23:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
23:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And I, and I wore that.
23:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So when it was, the challenge has happened and me asking for help for a $500 problem was embarrassing.
23:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Now the $35,000 problem is the billetating for me.
23:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
23:45
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
23:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I do.
23:51
[SPEAKER_00]: You
23:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's caused a lot of problem even recognizing the storm, but assuming that you have to weather the storm by yourself, big challenge for me, that is a...
24:10
[SPEAKER_01]: If nothing else, if nothing else, I...
24:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I hold high regard.
24:19
[SPEAKER_02]: for the importance of trying to get my son's to understand what you just said.
24:26
[SPEAKER_02]: I personally dealt with that on a couple of major issues in my life, right?
24:30
[SPEAKER_02]: One of them, I ended up in a, like, man, you know, I'm for the lifetime,
24:42
[SPEAKER_02]: really dug a hole for myself.
24:44
[SPEAKER_02]: It was bad.
24:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, like, uh, excavator.
24:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
24:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I, I, I, I, I put a next bit on top of an excavator to get deeper.
24:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, we're going to get down in there.
24:55
[SPEAKER_00]: There's more.
24:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
24:57
[SPEAKER_02]: So, um, man, uh, and, and, and, and I'm surrounded by.
25:03
[SPEAKER_02]: To this day, I'm surrounded by loving brothers who absolutely have my best interest at heart.
25:09
[SPEAKER_02]: But to your point, the embarrassment of having to say or mention this short coming on this downfall that I'm dealing with, without me like that, you know, as me and when I say we, and we're trying to break that narrative, break that, and then
25:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure, the the commandals are going to get in the comment section and say, Oh, that's your problem.
25:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't care about that.
25:35
[SPEAKER_02]: This is this is transparency.
25:38
[SPEAKER_02]: It'll help somebody that I've had a CDL for
25:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Long story short.
25:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I took a load to South South Texas one year years years years.
26:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm talking.
26:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, this is this is more than 20 what's this 20 25 yeah, I've had a CDL longer than that then I'm I'm 30 years in I've had a CDL for 30 years and I still I don't drive trucks now But I still keep a CDL that's a lesson to the youngsters my old head uncles Man, you don't sell cars you don't drop certifications just because you think you won't use it anymore you maintain it
26:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
26:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I was got something to file back on.
26:32
[SPEAKER_02]: So I've had it for 30 years.
26:35
[SPEAKER_02]: So let's say 25-ish or more years ago, I took a low down the South South Texas and I broke a law.
26:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I ran a waste station.
26:50
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're in a commercial vehicle, you have to stop at the waste station, right?
26:53
[SPEAKER_02]: So long story short, I passed the waste station.
26:57
[SPEAKER_02]: It's one of those areas.
26:59
[SPEAKER_02]: The law enforcement got chip on the shoulder.
27:01
[SPEAKER_02]: He came, he jumped in his vehicle and left the station and came.
27:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Track me down.
27:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Pull me over.
27:08
[SPEAKER_02]: He wrote me six tickets.
27:11
[SPEAKER_02]: to some GP hit me with six.
27:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'm in, I'm brownsville or something like, I'm 30, I'm literally 30 seconds from Mexico.
27:22
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm like, ah, bit, I leave not paying this because it wasn't a state
27:33
[SPEAKER_02]: In my mind, I get back all the way.
27:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm living in Houston at the time.
27:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I get back to Houston.
27:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Life goes on all year later, getting these notices about, hey, you got to fill you to a peer.
27:50
[SPEAKER_02]: You didn't go to court.
27:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Then at that time, like, my age people are pretty diligent, they don't fucking hate me.
27:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Just the ignorance, like this is a, this is a,
28:00
[SPEAKER_02]: A Texas law enforcement agency, this is a Texas driver's license.
28:05
[SPEAKER_02]: The year is traceable, the electronic phase, this is not paper, this is not the 70s or the 80s where as long as I don't go back down there, they can't touch me.
28:13
[SPEAKER_02]: This is modern technology.
28:16
[SPEAKER_02]: So fast forward, loves everything, they lost my license because I never went, I never went to court.
28:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I never paid it, I never tried to pay it.
28:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So snowball effect.
28:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Lost my CDL that year that I don't have the means to provide any more.
28:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't have any, I'm, what the hit going, I'm over man.
28:36
[SPEAKER_01]: So what ended up happening is a close brother of mine.
28:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And he, he wouldn't want me to tell this story, but I got to get his brother's flowers.
28:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Ryan, my partner Ryan, I was,
28:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like nine racks.
28:56
[SPEAKER_02]: They was like, oh, you got all these failure to appears because six turned to Twil.
29:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I had the six offenses and then they hit me with another six.
29:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll failure to appear per citation.
29:06
[SPEAKER_02]: So now I'm Twil's citation is in and interest penalties, et cetera, et cetera.
29:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it took me $9,000.
29:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Ooh.
29:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Unemployed, no savings, no bread, no backup, no reserve.
29:19
[SPEAKER_02]: $9,000 to get like if you pay this,
29:25
[SPEAKER_02]: can get several established and get back get back out here.
29:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I got back on my feet because of my brother ran home.
29:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
29:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Run was like, what we don't want.
29:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Like they all calm me, all my brother's calm me.
29:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, what's your doing, man?
29:44
[SPEAKER_02]: What's your doing?
29:45
[SPEAKER_02]: We worried about you.
29:46
[SPEAKER_02]: You're off the radar, you disappeared.
29:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I'd never prepared for the rain.
29:51
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I mean?
29:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't have any savings at the time.
29:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't plan for.
29:55
[SPEAKER_02]: If I don't pay this fine, one of the true consequences, so now I lost it, he paid, got me back on my feet, you don't have to worry about that again.
30:05
[SPEAKER_02]: I won't make that mistake again.
30:06
[SPEAKER_02]: You see what I mean, but that's an example of living for today, living in the moment.
30:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll let it work itself out.
30:15
[SPEAKER_02]: If you tell yourself, it'll work itself out.
30:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're not actively doing anything to work it out.
30:20
[SPEAKER_02]: You're part of it, you're the, you're part of it.
30:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
30:26
[SPEAKER_00]: The part that's, the jump that I'm doing as a part that you didn't highlight is that this sometimes you create your own stumps, this, you create your own stumps.
30:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And the stoof.
30:39
[SPEAKER_00]: the tornadoes that I've initiated throughout my life I hope what my children get because we say this and I hope my children get is that the storm is the storm the severity is the severity what calls it doesn't matter during the storm.
31:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't wait for the storm to blow over to come tell me about it or to come ask for help, and I'm talking to me at various stages of my life.
31:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Because whether I initiated the storm willfully do what I was willfully ignorant or whether I thought at some point.
31:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm up.
31:26
[SPEAKER_00]: $5,000 going follow me and I'm gonna take it.
31:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm probably $1,000 in the ball.
31:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It's gonna be fine.
31:32
[SPEAKER_00]: It's gonna be fine.
31:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you said, that full time, you're all types of notifications and this is not card blots for them to go create storms because we don't figure it out, but ultimately we're gonna figure it out and get past the embarrassment of,
31:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I messed up.
31:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I messed up your contributions to the situation, there'll be a time to deal with that.
32:01
[SPEAKER_00]: But while you're not dealing with it, it makes it harder for others to help you deal with it and now the burden expands.
32:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Because thank God the parents that I had even today, they will give their last for their son, their daughter, grandchildren.
32:19
[SPEAKER_00]: and fought so many people around me.
32:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Y'all need my parents now.
32:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Let them, let them be, let them have a day.
32:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they didn't have, but do for others I was, I don't know, but they just got that kind of heart.
32:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And I had that for my children, I know you have for your children, certainly.
32:39
[SPEAKER_00]: But be mindful of,
32:42
[SPEAKER_00]: how the burden is expanding beyond you, the longer that you go in the storm.
32:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't ask for umbrella, you don't ask for a ride, you just standing there.
32:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, that's something that I definitely struggle with.
32:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes to to the degree still today is I sit, I sit in that embarrassment too long, like man, I.
33:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's almost like I want to get to a point where I've gone through all of the telling me with anybody that can say to me, yeah, so that whatever point I share,
33:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And you can't get me lower, you can't get me lower than I've already put myself, right?
33:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
33:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And that doesn't, that doesn't help at all.
33:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me put something with that too.
33:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Because as you said, that that made something stand out to me.
33:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't let us storm change your character.
33:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Meaning.
33:36
[SPEAKER_02]: It's easy to do all of the right things when it's beautiful outside, you know what I mean?
33:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And then when storm day comes, it has the potential, the potential, if you will, to make a start to make questionable decisions.
34:03
[SPEAKER_02]: two sides to the story though.
34:04
[SPEAKER_02]: The other side is that it's easy for us to be in a place of we're not going through a storm.
34:11
[SPEAKER_02]: We see the next village getting rained on.
34:14
[SPEAKER_02]: And we're criticizing the village that's getting rained on for running out and snatching any cloth or tarp or leaves off the trees.
34:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Snatching the leaves off my beautiful palm trees.
34:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I pay a good
34:29
[SPEAKER_02]: is cosmetic for you.
34:31
[SPEAKER_02]: It's survival for them.
34:33
[SPEAKER_02]: It's now shelter.
34:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So now they're trying to place that on the top in the roof to get some type of cover or shield from the storm.
34:40
[SPEAKER_02]: So now because they're going through their storm, two things.
34:45
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're not in the storm, don't be so quick to judge those that are trying to survive a storm.
34:50
[SPEAKER_02]: But also those in a storm don't sell your soul to get out of the storm either.
34:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Because now you're out here doing things that you wouldn't do in a million years just to get out of the storm when there's less detrimental choices that can be made to get out of the storm.
35:12
[SPEAKER_02]: It's less comfortable, it's still going to be hard, but you'll survive nonetheless.
35:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Be content enough with survival and keeping your character intact, your morals intact.
35:26
[SPEAKER_02]: that you don't sell your soul, just to get out of the storm and then regret it and look back at the storm and say, man, I didn't even have that to do it.
35:33
[SPEAKER_02]: What is bad is I thought it was and that storm.
35:36
[SPEAKER_02]: But now you've done things that you cannot reverse that you're going to have to answer for for the rest of your life.
35:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Just for a storm that was only going to take up a moment in your life if that makes sense.
35:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
35:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Another piece of that is for those that are
35:56
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're going to rescue them, rescue them, right, don't make your rescue contingent upon making them feel less than because they are in a situation today, right, right, it is referencing the clips that we post.
36:16
[SPEAKER_00]: The whole, the throughline of the of of the platform, one of them is as transparency.
36:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
36:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Like we talk a lot about our less final moments, though they're not what we are today or even if they all were you all the day.
36:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And it always is this hardening for me when what it's presented is, hey, I'm struggling with this.
36:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm working through it.
36:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not proud of it.
36:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
36:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And the response is,
36:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, if you never struggle with that, you wouldn't be struggling with it.
36:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
36:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
36:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
36:51
[SPEAKER_00]: You're on the same side, right?
36:55
[SPEAKER_00]: If, if you never started smoking, you wouldn't have lung cancer.
37:00
[SPEAKER_00]: As I'm dying, thank you.
37:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I mean, because what does that do now?
37:04
[SPEAKER_00]: How does that help me?
37:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what it does for the person that saying it.
37:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's, that's a deep, dark place to live your life if, if that is what brings you joy.
37:15
[SPEAKER_00]: is to capitalize.
37:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not saying people should be held accountable, brave.
37:22
[SPEAKER_00]: But when you're, again, when your solutions are based on,
37:27
[SPEAKER_00]: somebody acknowledging that you have a solution better than them first.
37:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you got, oh, you got to do sales, right?
37:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I mean, it could be that simple or could, you know, it could be some people, I was having a conversation with Joe and he was talking about, he had met people that do their life.
37:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Money was a control factor, even from parents to children.
37:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And it wasn't like overt, but it was like, I'm, I will help this
37:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not listening to that thing, right?
37:59
[SPEAKER_00]: If you, if you then I will, right, right.
38:02
[SPEAKER_00]: If you, if you want this car, then you probably need to go be a doctor.
38:06
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
38:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And you get to a point when you realize as the story with me and told that there are dogs now and don't even know how to make choices that aren't tied to some result that somebody else wants.
38:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And how do you live your life with that?
38:22
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you combine the life with somebody else like that?
38:24
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you have a family like that?
38:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess only you duplicate that, but, you know, it's, I try to be mindful of the contingencies of my support, because they're going to be installing the other piece of it is another thing my platform is, we got to be mindful of calling their storm a light rain, because we've seen this tsunami, right to the analogy, the little rain in the place, not prepared.
38:57
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a tsunami.
38:59
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a flood.
39:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
39:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
39:01
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the, uh, especially in the male community.
39:06
[SPEAKER_02]: We're good for that.
39:08
[SPEAKER_02]: From my experience.
39:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me not generalize all men.
39:12
[SPEAKER_02]: My background of uncles and dads, cousins, friends, homeboys, older than me, younger than me.
39:22
[SPEAKER_02]: We're always looking at a situation with that, at no centrism.
39:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Our own lives, our own experiences is the measuring state, is the measuring.
39:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I, no matter what you're dealing with, press canceling, let's just cut it off.
39:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Who are you talking, come on, Doug?
39:40
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not your lane, that's not your experience, that's not your ministry, I ever you wanna worry about it.
39:45
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not for you to say.
39:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, just soak that up, man, my grandfather.
39:50
[SPEAKER_02]: My dad used to cut out hair with these clippers.
39:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I hated them clippers, man.
39:57
[SPEAKER_02]: They used to bite and tear the back of my neck off.
40:02
[SPEAKER_02]: So, I'm jumping, I'm gonna be just tending to hit it.
40:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, I mean, the era of nerve, the era of you can't really be like, now you, that's this respect.
40:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Now you're really tearing my skin off.
40:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I can't say that, but when you're done in the next day and I got these webs, you understand?
40:24
[SPEAKER_02]: What I'm saying, Clippers, my dad used to don't meet me.
40:26
[SPEAKER_02]: We told you up, too.
40:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And he was like, yeah, it was hard for like how you used to it.
40:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not getting used to this.
40:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I say that to say, just because you got a leather neck.
40:38
[UNKNOWN]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
40:40
[SPEAKER_02]: It's somebody could put a beer net up against Yosuke and not break it.
40:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Shave your neck and pick a hat.
40:50
[SPEAKER_02]: We're about to say, well, the cut you're selling to the white meat.
40:54
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a different time, bro.
40:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Not everybody's the same.
40:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Please have grace.
40:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Just have grace for everybody else.
41:02
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just not you.
41:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
41:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
41:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Man.
41:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh.
41:07
[SPEAKER_00]: What storm has been the most beneficial in your life?
41:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what storm, or is there a storm that was worth it?
41:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Closing a door in my face, every door that closed, that was closed, or slammed in my face, turned me up.
41:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And I needed it.
41:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I was complacent every single time.
41:27
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the theme.
41:27
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the story of my life.
41:33
[SPEAKER_02]: the the the the the souls that have been praying for me throughout my life God bless you it worked because something always happened to motivate me push me the worst of the worst my brother was was his life was taken by a drunk driver when I was 10 years old he was 12 I was 10
42:00
[SPEAKER_02]: and a lot of people are like, man, that would have wiped me out.
42:05
[SPEAKER_02]: It turned me up, looking back at it.
42:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't have an identity before that.
42:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I was my brother's shadow.
42:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I wanted to live in his shadow and I was perfectly content and complacent with that.
42:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Whatever he on, I'm on.
42:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Good battle in different.
42:21
[SPEAKER_02]: You join the gang, I'm on job right in the gang.
42:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's do it.
42:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And for whatever reason, I don't sit and try to dissect why he was removed from this life.
42:34
[SPEAKER_02]: But I can honestly absolutely see the change in my life with him not being around and that's not for me to celebrate my brother not being here.
42:44
[SPEAKER_02]: But I acknowledge I acknowledge the difference like that that forced me to come into my own at the end.
42:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't even attempt to make those decisions.
42:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I went to him, what should I do?
42:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Should I wear this shirt right here or this shirt right here?
43:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Should I buy this shoe or this shirt?
43:04
[SPEAKER_02]: It was never, I never had an identity.
43:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I never had drive.
43:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I was a follower.
43:10
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's the last person I can honestly say, I followed.
43:16
[SPEAKER_02]: After that, it's my way, my room, my line, my lane.
43:21
[SPEAKER_02]: with respect to others, I'm not, I don't, I don't review authority, but I'm absolutely gonna make certain that the path that I'm carving out.
43:29
[SPEAKER_02]: It's my path and I'm not just looking at the show, look good what they're doing over there.
43:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to do that just because they're doing it and it look good to me.
43:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't care about that.
43:38
[SPEAKER_02]: So those being slammed in my face things being taken away from me and it's a collective of storms.
43:44
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's, I know you were saying the biggest storm, but I'd say that is the largest storm because that's it, absolutely.
43:52
[SPEAKER_02]: But every single time that I thought
43:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, ooh, I'm about to invest in this.
43:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm about to buy this truck, this trailer, and start this contract.
44:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Contract failed through.
44:06
[SPEAKER_02]: That didn't work out.
44:07
[SPEAKER_02]: 30 days later.
44:10
[SPEAKER_02]: they stopped doing that, that whole industry went away.
44:12
[SPEAKER_02]: So it was a protection.
44:13
[SPEAKER_02]: It was a minor setback, but it saved me from the double down investment that I was about to do into that industry.
44:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I would have lost everything if I invested the level that I was gonna invest in that industry.
44:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's why I saved my time, I'd do it with slammed in my face.
44:28
[SPEAKER_02]: The blessing was it protected me, but it also turned me up.
44:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
44:34
[SPEAKER_00]: thing for me is when I when I found out that I was pretty diabetic man because I I had been noticing things about my health.
44:45
[SPEAKER_00]: We were transits now I found out that we came back from a we moved back from the by 2018 but I knew things weren't right with my health probably the last year while I was there I had like waves of I lose 40 pounds gain 20 back.
45:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Louis 35 40 pounds anytime I'm about to come home I go on this run.
45:06
[SPEAKER_00]: So it looked like, you know, you know, Deja is just kind of doing this thing.
45:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
45:11
[SPEAKER_00]: But as we were coming back, it was so stressful because I was already performing my role that I was coming here too and still kind of running the office, the department that I was dead over see initially, right?
45:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm traveling crazy.
45:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm leaving for three or four weeks at a time.
45:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And preparing to move.
45:34
[SPEAKER_00]: thousands of miles across the earth with my family and my kids in school too.
45:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
45:40
[SPEAKER_00]: So the only reason I know of that I found out when I found out is because my mom looked at me and made a doctor's appointment.
45:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm 38 at this time.
45:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe 37 to 38 and she looked at me and she was like
45:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Nah, called a doctor, our family doctor, that I hadn't seen in 12.
46:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
46:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, at least the practice.
46:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know.
46:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I hadn't even seen that specific doctor, but the practice that we were associated with.
46:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
46:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I hadn't been there.
46:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I think the last time I was there was right before I deployed to Iraq.
46:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, we'll keep you all.
46:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
46:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Because even in that case,
46:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I only went there because the process with KBR is you get health screen when you're in Houston.
46:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And then they tell you if you can go to our rack.
46:34
[SPEAKER_00]: You've already quit your job, but me, you know, I was like, I'd already had to make a decision.
46:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
46:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
46:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
46:44
[UNKNOWN]: Right.
46:45
[UNKNOWN]: Right.
46:45
[UNKNOWN]: Right.
46:45
[UNKNOWN]: Right.
46:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
46:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
46:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
46:45
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
46:47
[UNKNOWN]: Right.
46:48
[UNKNOWN]: Right
46:48
[SPEAKER_00]: with move back, I part the family and have them Virginia, where we're from, so the kids can finish school.
46:56
[SPEAKER_00]: They were home schooling, but so they could be stable.
46:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I came out here, I'm living in, you know, the temporary housing or, you know, extended stays and stuff like that.
47:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'm looking for a place to live.
47:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Kisha came out because I found a couple of places that we looked at and wanted to make sure they were cool.
47:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we were flying back to my little sisters, called my little sisters wedding.
47:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:20
[SPEAKER_00]: driving to the wedding, things will unfamiliar and have to walk from.
47:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I can't see street signs like things just didn't look familiar and I'm squittin' and all these things go to the wedding and I realize leading up to that I only felt normal when I was drunk.
47:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I will go to work because I'm out here by my side.
47:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Go to work.
47:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on.
47:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Get a six pack.
47:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And that will kind of normalize things.
47:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Some things will change.
47:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, my mom always going to the bathroom.
47:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what I don't know what to see.
47:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:54
[SPEAKER_00]: My mom, we get home.
47:55
[SPEAKER_00]: My mom makes the appointment because she looks at me.
47:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And she knows because so I'm only there for the weekend.
47:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm ready to come back out here.
48:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Get back to the grind and keep ignoring whatever I'm doing.
48:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I go to the appointment and I'm telling the doctor everything that he needs to prescribe me.
48:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think it's my prostate, no, my dad had prostate cancer.
48:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I was saying, it's probably this and that every day.
48:20
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, I think you're that bad.
48:23
[SPEAKER_00]: No, so I'm saying that my dad had prostate cancer.
48:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like, I don't know.
48:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
48:29
[SPEAKER_00]: With that feel like, right?
48:30
[SPEAKER_00]: No, my dad had it.
48:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
48:31
[SPEAKER_00]: That had he cancer.
48:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyhow, he does a blood work, urine sample, my A1C was 18, my blood sugar level was like 540.
48:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh god, yeah, you out of there, let that sink in, pause, go do some research to see what norms are because I'm not here to give you advice, right?
48:57
[SPEAKER_00]: He said you were on your way to a combo.
49:00
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, did you drive here?
49:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
49:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I drove here.
49:05
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no way you should have been.
49:06
[SPEAKER_00]: No, there's no way you should have actually been been driving and I think back on all my activity I'm like man my norm was Being a task that being Poisoning myself
49:19
[SPEAKER_00]: to death.
49:20
[SPEAKER_00]: That day after that, I went home and changed habits immediately.
49:25
[SPEAKER_00]: It won, like, I didn't, I couldn't even cry about it.
49:28
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like, I was just, it was, it was the disappointment, because I knew it's not like I didn't have access to hell care, but I just kept making excuses, push through a power through it, drink.
49:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
49:48
[SPEAKER_00]: taught me in that moment to see life different, like life was finite.
49:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I knew that, but it was like man, I, the realization was man, and my shaving decades off my life with this, certainly.
50:05
[SPEAKER_00]: The clip that's going viral now with the at 40, the at 40 moment doesn't necessarily have to do with a bunch of mistakes in career or even bit like it for me and the people
50:18
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all the data that I have that I care about, something like this, some realization that it has to be at 40, maybe half as for you at 35, 32 or 52, yes, but the realization of the things and life that are important that I've mismanaged, don't have to be that you failed, you know, saying that some of the comments y'all waiting for it to figure like no, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
50:40
[SPEAKER_00]: If you got like figured out at 25, when you get the 40, you'll realize at 25, or at 40, you don't still want to be what you figured out at 25.
50:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Please.
50:51
[SPEAKER_00]: So whatever those years look like in between, it doesn't matter.
50:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Something happens to where, for me, anyway, the important thing was like, oh, ah.
51:02
[SPEAKER_00]: you've been defined in success role, correct?
51:05
[SPEAKER_00]: The entire time, correct?
51:07
[SPEAKER_00]: The storm you weren't even, the storm you were ignoring was about to kill you because you justified that it was sunny over here.
51:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
51:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Missed place.
51:17
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
51:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
51:18
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's, that's some, and the fight isn't over.
51:22
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I've had, abs and flows.
51:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm much better now than I was before.
51:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but but it still miles ago, but having not had that storm or having not having a moment.
51:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Where it was so in my face that I couldn't ignore it.
51:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Be it.
51:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
51:41
[SPEAKER_00]: We probably would be talking.
51:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
51:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And law for being.
51:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Law revealed.
51:47
[SPEAKER_01]: That's all.
51:49
[SPEAKER_01]: What you what you got an uh in closing down.
51:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm in closing.
51:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't be so quick.
51:59
[SPEAKER_02]: to show your hand and be loud and wrong for the sake of looking me everybody.
52:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, there's a, there's a, there's a real circulating right now.
52:14
[SPEAKER_01]: From the deer sun show.
52:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Where I'd say that I didn't realize my son didn't know how to pump gas.
52:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Because as children, we jumped out there, let me pump the gear, I'm going to be pumped the gears.
52:28
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what just what we did.
52:29
[SPEAKER_02]: It was fun.
52:30
[SPEAKER_02]: It was a thing, naturally curious as children.
52:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And today's children are more technology based.
52:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's about different things.
52:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Different things, a young lady responded to me saying that my teenage son didn't know how to pump gears.
52:46
[SPEAKER_02]: She's so brilliant that she said,
52:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course, if you've never driven a car, how would you know how to pump gas in the clip I said is a child I pump gas for my parents and you had the audacity of all the brilliance, I checked the page.
53:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you had the brilliance to say, only people that know how to drive know how to pump gas, that's amazing.
53:17
[SPEAKER_02]: So what do the people do when the kids are cutting grass and they pumping gas into a gas can't deploy into their lawnmowers?
53:26
[SPEAKER_02]: What about the children that get out of an action?
53:27
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the driving and pumping gas.
53:29
[SPEAKER_02]: You need to drive his license to pump gas based on this, this young lady.
53:33
[SPEAKER_02]: So I just want you to be careful being so quick to try to show people how brilliant we are.
53:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I've accepted the comment section, the comment section there's a place for people to dump.
53:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
53:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're comfortable documenting your foolishness, who am I to tell you?
53:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, what am I supposed to do?
53:52
[SPEAKER_00]: What am I to tell you, though?
53:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna let you be free, but you got for the people.
53:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, not blocking as much anymore.
54:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
54:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, my blocking, uh, criteria has been a little relaxed, but I will,
54:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll hide comments that a damaging in the sense of
54:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't run the risk of more people agreeing with how foolish you are.
54:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
54:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you think, yeah, that's your moment of your motivation.
54:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you think that this is the way to be in life.
54:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so, yeah.
54:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I thank you for commenting.
54:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You wanted to say that you said it cool.
54:34
[SPEAKER_00]: When we're free speeds, when we, we, we, we, we welcoming gaze.
54:40
[SPEAKER_00]: We, we, we.
54:41
[SPEAKER_00]: That's gonna do it for this episode of the Deadline show.
54:45
[SPEAKER_00]: We appreciate your guys got a bloodstripe piece.
54:47
[UNKNOWN]: Peace.