Latest / Armstrong & Getty One More Thing / I'll Buy My Own Lotion

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I'll Buy My Own Lotion · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: No thanks, I'll buy my own lotion. It's one more Thing.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: I'm strong and getty.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: One more Thing an odd.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Tale to tell before the end of the One More
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Thing podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: But first, I can't believe we didn't get to this.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: There was so much great stuff on the radio show today.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: We just we left out a lot of really really
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: worthy material, including this.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: We used to say all the time, a six pounds
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: show and a five pound bag, that's what we are.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Well we had like eight and a half pounds today.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: But Jon Stewart the other day, talking about the Hunter
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Biden Pardon, had all sorts of great comedic riffs. He
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: was as cynical as you ought to be about this.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: But one of my favorite aspects of it is he
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: featured Jamie Raskin. Was he treated for.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Cancer or something at one point?
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because he was wearing a bandana over his
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: head a lot. He's evidently doing better now and he's
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: got his hair back. But he is a very eloquent,
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: utterly dishonest, hardcore or partisan on the left. But he's
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: very very bright, there's no doubting that. And John Stewart,
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I think he sets this up pretty well. But he's
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: talking about Jamie Raskin.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: This is what Biden's decision has done.
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: Look how confident and eloquent our Democratic representatives were back
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: when they thought they had the moral high ground on
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: this issue.
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: I've not heard a single Democrat anywhere in the country
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: cry fraud, cry fixed, cry rigged, a cry kangaroo court.
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: You don't hear a single peep out of any Democrats
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: saying that.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Why we believe in the rule of law.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: And now look at what even he one of the
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: most verbally dexterous attorneys we have on Capitol Hill, has
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: been reduced to.
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: Do you think President Biden should pardon Hunter? Biden, So
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: there are lots of claims of political prosecution. Was Hunter
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: politically well, I mean, obviously that's a judicial point, and
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: then you've got to look at what the evidence is
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: and I don't know enough. I mean again, that is
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: a unilateral executive power, you know power that.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Uh and should he use it?
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: Well, you know, the power exists for the president to
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: show mercy for people.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: I mean, I mean we have an executive and we
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: have a judicial and then a legislative and.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Then smoke bomb of me. That was that was that
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: girl on CNN yeah, whoever she is was that? But
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: what's her face? I can't remember her name because it
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: doesn't matter. She'll be unemployed next week. But uh to
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: her credits. I wish more interviewers would do that.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, should he use it?
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: No?
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: No?
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: No? But could he? Should he just hold him to
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: make him answer the damn question?
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: That was great?
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: He yelled, smoke mom and jumps under his desk. That's hilarious.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I found this funny yesterday. I'll see what you think
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: of it. So I live in a town where they
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: do this sort of thing regularly. It we're kind of
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: a communist town, and you know, there's a tiny bit
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: of truth to the whole Tim Walls boy, I almost
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: couldn't come up with the name when he said one
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: man's socialism is another man's neighbor Leinists or whatever, And
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: there's a tiny bit of truth to that. But in
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: my town, it's pretty common to like put out a
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: giant bucket of books and say, you know, take one,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: leave one or whatever. Just that kind of stuff is
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: all over the place, dog food or or bags for
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: picking up dog poop or just things like that. And
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: then the idea is that we'll all share together because
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: we're all working together. But this is the funniest one.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: Just don't enforce it at the government's gunpoint place.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, No, I'm fine with it. In fact,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I think it's really nice. But somebody had put out
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: a box full of just like crap they had and
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: a sign that said free, and it was in the
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: lawn as we're walking to the gym, and I stopped
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: and took a picture of it. Now, I was looking
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: over the stuff because I it's funny the way human
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: beings are built. I like, couldn't help myself but look
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: through to see if there's anything I need there. Even
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: though I can go out and buy any of these
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: things if I wanted to, it's just it's a human
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: nature thing. I guess. Like there was a can of
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: break fluid, like a half a can of break fluid, okay, ah,
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: you never know. Mineral oil, which is also for your
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: break lines, okay, a can of for breeze okay, one of.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Those just set the.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Stuff you spray around your house to make all of that, okay, Okay,
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I can see. Here's a some canned goods, like some
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: uh canned raspberries and canned beans of some sort.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Okay, there's three m I could whip up Grandma's old
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: cranberries and beans recipe.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Well, and again, you don't know how old this stuff is.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, could you look at the dat or what
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: it's been doing in terms of heat and cold? This
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: is in your garage for five summers, or.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: It's a little bulgy, But what the heck? How bad
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: could it be?
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Three cans of A and W root beer pretty dented
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: and dirty. You'd definitely want to wash these off before
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: you open them up. I mean that you're talking about
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: thirty cents worth of material here. But you know, again, as.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Sins go, this is very, very minor. But if I
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: have three cans of Sodi pop, I don't want how
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: instead of just pouring them down the sink and putting
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: the cans in the recycling, do you decide? You know
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: what I'll do. I'll put these out front in case
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: there's somebody thirsty for dent toit. A and W and
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: otherwise can't. I don't. I would never have that impulse.
• 5:49
  Speaker 6: They probably figured some homeless person was gonna come by
• 5:51
  Speaker 6: and just swipe the whole box and get rid of
• 5:53
  Speaker 6: their crap.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Is what I'm thinking. Yeah, this is not a neighborhood
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: where a homeless person's gonna come by, So maybe I
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: don't know. Uh, A container, half used container of tumbs?
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: What he feels better? Okay, he wants to share with
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: his fellow human being. Maybe you drink the ANW rope
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: beer too fast? O my stomach?
• 6:18
  Speaker 6: Don't you keep the thumbs around just in case though,
• 6:20
  Speaker 6: like you're going, I mean, you're gonna get a stomach
• 6:22
  Speaker 6: ache again.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't want to stick my fingers into a
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: container of tumbs that who knows who has had their
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: hands in before? I mean, I.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: Maybe maybe the raspberries and beans aren't sitting well, I
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: don't know right, was it raspberries or cranberries? Raspberry, raspberries
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: and beans?
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Maybe the A ANDW root beer had gotten one hundred
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: and ten degrees than twenty nine degrees? Too many seasons
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: in a row, and I need the tumbs.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: It's a little congealed.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: A deck of playing cards, which I almost grabbed. I thought,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: what am I? Where am I in my life that
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: I'm doing this?
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: What was the theme was it? Was it like a
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: souvenirs or was it just like your classic.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Just like your regular playing cards, which is what got
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: my attention. An empty glasses case. Anybody who wears glasses
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: or some glasses at all, has like a million of
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: these laying around.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: How many would you like? Write us a mail bag
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: and arm between the whole team. I'm sure there's quit
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: amphew Lee's. We could open them a store.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: But there's like a whole bunch of theirs for Breeze,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: there's Lysol. I mean, I don't know what they're doing
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: in their house, but there's like five different brands of
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: spraying around to try to make your house not smell
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: so bad. I don't know what their deal is. Maybe
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: the raspberries give you the winds. Yeah, I was thinking, yeah.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. But finally they took a half a roll
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: of tombs and felt a lot better and thought, we
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: don't need all this deodorizer anymore apparently.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: But though, for whatever reason, the one that grossed me
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: and my son out the most was this a third
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: bottle of lotion.
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: Ah Okay, We're both like, oh my god, the case
• 8:00
  Speaker 6: miss item Okay, P Diddy, I just I don't want.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Somebody else's two thirds used bottle of lotion. I don't
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: know why I find that so gross, But it's just
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: something weirdly off putting about that to me.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: Did this person's bean eaten root beer drinking upset stomach
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: to smelling dry skinned? Room card enthusiast obviously did they?
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Did they move out or what they? You know, this lotion,
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: I don't use this.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: They only took their glasses. Hilarious. Well, when I'm playing
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: cards and eating raspberries, I get the exuma, so you
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: know how it is.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: It's just around my skin, dry is out.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Cause me to flatulate, in which case I need all
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: the f breeze all I saw or four other kinds
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: of products I'd barely ever heard of. Wow, I just
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: thought that was a fun assortment of things.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, random, And yet oh it's a person who does
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: their own breaks.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah exactly. I hadn't even zoomed in
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: on this one. Can Progresso New England clam chowder. Now
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: that's something you want to know where that can's been
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: before you open that up.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Anything with seafood in it. I check the Best by
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: day just you know, I'm not paranoid, but the idea
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: that yeah, yeah, the seafood's been in your garage for
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: three years or whatever. Yeah, or just you left it
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: in your car for an afternoon and it heat it
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: up to a No. No, I'm gonna need those tombs.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Glad I grabbed them.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: And this is not uh, I don't want to sound
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: like a certain sort of person. It's just because of
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: real estate in California, everything like that, what everything costs.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: This is in the yard of a house that probably
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: costs one point four million dollars.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Sure somebody else's old lotion.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 10:11
  Speaker 6: I don't know that I've ever thought about that bothering
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: me before, but that really grosses me out.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Well well, well, yeah, I mean the potential for horror
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: is a tad high. I mean, you're you're rubbing it
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: on your skin, But now tell me.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: That your shade depending on the sort of person you are.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's a that's a silence of the Lamb.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Texas chainsaw massacre. Yeah, exactly, with the weird old clam
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: chowder and dexa card.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: Was it the sort of lotion you would like I
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: have to shake out and your hand or was it
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: a pump?
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: It was the tube like you would squeeze it out
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: on your hand. Oh, and it would have some remnants
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: around the top of whoever used it before.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: I don't remnants, please. You know, I'm picturing this person,
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: maybe as a carnie, and they used to know they
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: used to break the break fluid to you know, oil
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: up the tilta whirl or something.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Pieced it together. Colombo, Well, I guess that's it. That
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: was funny. Get card playing.