Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor as a Woman in a Male-Dominated Industry
Transcript
- Lucas: Luna, I want to talk about a specific challenge today: finding a mentor when you're a woman in a male-dominated industry. I've been looking at some data from LeanIn.org and McKinsey's Women in the Workplace report, and it's striking how mentorship access differs. Luna: I bet. I remember reading that women in male-dominated fields are less likely to have a senior mentor who looks out for them. Especially if there just aren't many senior women around. Lucas: Exactly. The report found that women in these industries are promoted at a slower rate partly because they don't have sponsors pushing for them. And when you're the only woman in the room, finding that advocate becomes a lot harder. Luna: So what's the first step? If you're a woman in tech, finance, construction, whatever — where do you start looking for a mentor? Lucas: I think the first thing is to look internally at your company's employee resource groups, or ERGs. Many large companies now have women's networks, and those are goldmines for mentorship. Even if the group is small, you can find women a couple of levels ahead who get the context. Luna: Right, but what if your company doesn't have an ERG, or you're at a smaller firm? Lucas: Then you look externally. Industry associations, professional organizations — groups like Women in Tech, or Women in Finance. They often run formal mentorship programs. And there's also the informal route: reaching out on LinkedIn to women whose careers you admire, with a specific ask. Luna: I think specificity is key. A message that says 'I'm a junior engineer, and I see you moved from engineering into product management. Could I ask you 20 minutes about how you navigated that?' That's much better than a generic 'will you be my mentor?' Lucas: Exactly. And here's something important: your mentor doesn't have to be a woman. Some of the most effective mentors for women in male-dominated fields are men who are aware of the dynamics and are willing to sponsor you. They can open doors that women might not have access to. Luna: But how do you know if a male colleague is genuinely an ally? I've had experiences where someone said they wanted to help but then didn't really follow through. Lucas: That's a great point. Look for track record. Has this person promoted other women? Do they speak up in meetings when women are interrupted? Actions matter more than words. You can also ask around discreetly — talk to other women in your network about who has been a real sponsor. Luna: And what about when there's no one senior in your immediate field? Like, if you're a woman in a niche engineering discipline where there are literally no other women above you? Lucas: Then you might need a 'board of advisors' rather than a single mentor. One person might give you technical guidance, another might help with navigating corporate politics, and a third could be a peer mentor who's going through the same thing. It doesn't all have to come from one person. Luna: That's a good reframe. I've also seen research that says women in male-dominated fields benefit from having mentors in adjacent functions — like a woman in engineering might get great sponsorship from a senior woman in marketing or HR, because they understand the broader corporate landscape. Lucas: Absolutely. And don't underestimate the power of reverse mentorship, too. You might have skills or perspectives that a senior person lacks — like knowledge of new technology or social media. That can be a way to build a relationship that's mutually beneficial. Luna: One thing I've noticed is that women sometimes hesitate to ask for mentorship because they feel they need to prove themselves first. But waiting until you're 'ready' can mean you never ask. Lucas: That's the trap. You don't need to be perfect. You just need to be curious and willing to learn. I'd say, ask for advice, not mentorship. People love giving advice on a specific problem. And that can evolve into a mentor relationship over time. Luna: So what's a concrete ask? Give me an example of a great first message. Lucas: Sure. Something like: 'Hi, I'm a second-year software engineer at. I noticed you led the transition to microservices at your last company, which is something my team is tackling now. Would you be open to a 15-minute chat about what you learned?' That's specific, shows you've done your homework, and respects their time. Luna: And if they say yes, what's the best way to use that first conversation? Lucas: Listen more than you talk. Ask about their career journey, their challenges, and what they'd do differently. Then, towards the end, you can ask if they'd be open to staying in touch. That's how a one-time chat becomes a mentorship. Luna: I think one thing that's overlooked is the importance of sponsorship vs. mentorship. A mentor gives advice, but a sponsor uses their political capital to advocate for you — like recommending you for a promotion or a stretch assignment. Women in male-dominated fields especially need sponsors. Lucas: Right. And sponsors are usually harder to find because they're putting their own reputation on the line. But you can cultivate sponsors by delivering consistently on your projects, making your achievements visible, and explicitly asking for advocacy. Say something like, 'I'm interested in the lead role on Project X. Would you be willing to support my candidacy?' Luna: That's direct. And I think women sometimes are socialized to be less direct about asking for promotions or opportunities. So part of mentorship might be learning how to advocate for yourself. Lucas: Absolutely. A good mentor can help you practice that conversation. Role-playing with a mentor before a performance review or a pitch can be incredibly powerful. Luna: I also want to mention the importance of finding mentors who share your identity, not just your industry. For example, a woman of color in a male-dominated field faces double barriers. Having a mentor who understands that intersectionality can be crucial. Lucas: That's a great point. And again, that might mean looking beyond your immediate team or company. There are organizations like Black Women in Tech, Latinas in Tech, or Out in Tech that provide mentorship specifically for underrepresented groups. Luna: So, to wrap up this segment, what's one actionable takeaway for a woman listening who wants to find a mentor in a male-dominated field? Lucas: I'd say: start with a specific ask to someone whose career path you admire — whether they're a man or woman — and aim for advice, not a long-term commitment. Then, as you build trust, you can gradually ask for more. And don't put all your eggs in one basket; cultivate a network of mentors and sponsors. Luna: And if our conversation today helped you think about your own career strategy, we want to mention that this podcast is ad-free and listener-supported. If you find value in episodes like this, you can support us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It truly helps us keep creating content. Lucas: Yeah, we appreciate every bit of support. It allows us to stay independent and focus on topics that matter to you. And now, let's get into a specific story. I came across a case study about a woman named Priya who works in oil and gas — a very male-dominated industry. She managed to find two mentors: one senior male executive who sponsored her for a global project, and one female mentor from another company who gave her career advice. That combination was powerful for her. Luna: I love that example. The male sponsor got her the opportunity, and the female mentor helped her navigate the politics and stress. It shows you don't have to choose one type of mentor. Lucas: Exactly. And Priya said the key was that she was very clear about what she needed from each person. With the sponsor, she said, 'I want to be considered for international assignments.' With the mentor, she said, 'I need help dealing with isolation and imposter syndrome.' Both were willing because she was specific. Luna: That clarity also makes it easier for the mentor or sponsor to say yes, because they know exactly what's being asked. Lucas: Right. And it avoids the awkwardness of a vague 'be my mentor' request. So if you're listening and thinking about reaching out to someone, take five minutes to write down what you specifically want from that relationship. Luna: And if you get rejected, don't take it personally. Sometimes people are just too busy. You can always ask for a referral to someone else. Lucas: That's a pro tip. If a senior person says they can't commit, ask: 'Is there someone else you'd recommend I talk to?' That often leads to another connection, and it shows resilience. Luna: One last thought: mentorship is a two-way street. Even as a junior person, you can bring value — whether it's a fresh perspective, knowledge of new tools, or just enthusiasm. That makes people want to invest in you. Lucas: Absolutely. And with that, we'll wrap up today's episode. Remember, finding a mentor in a male-dominated industry is challenging but absolutely doable. Start with one specific ask, build from there, and don't be afraid to think outside your immediate circle. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time.