Latest / Honey Badger Radio / It's official! We hate men! In related news, why are men afraid to approach women? | Dating Show

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It's official! We hate men! In related news, why are men afraid to approach women? | Dating Show · Honey Badger Radio

0:01
Hello everybody, and welcome to Honey Badger Radio. My name is Brian.
0:04
I'm here with Allison, who has stepped away for a moment. And this
0:07
is an episode of the Dating Show or the Red Pill Dating Show or the
0:11
Badger Pill of shows that are read with dating involved and gender and stuff.
0:18
And we're gonna we haven't done one of these in a little bit, but
0:20
we're gonna be looking at an article today from the Center for Male Psychology written
0:26
by one John Barry. Doctor John Barry has been a guest on our show
0:30
before. Be sure to look that up. We did a fireside chat with
0:34
him, and I can get a link so you can see it. I
0:37
actually probably done a couple of fireside chats, honestly. Let's just let's see,
0:43
all right, So just shout out to the Center for Male Psychology.
0:47
They're a great resource, yeah, for real information about men, Yeah,
0:51
as opposed to ideological nonsense about men. That's right. So I have there
0:57
are two shows. This one is discussing the new APA Guidelines and the Masculinity
1:04
Report with doctor John Barry. I can get you, guys a link and
1:08
I will put it in the descriptions so you can look at it yourself if
1:11
you want to see more. I think that doctor John Barry's doing great work
1:15
and you should definitely check out his stuff. And I also have another fireside
1:21
chat doctor Jan Barry. John Barry's the Masculinity Report on Men's Happiness, and
1:26
that's I think we had him on for this. This is from way back
1:30
in the day, so we've been talking about this for a long time because
1:34
map it's when we used to do a show called The Weakened Men's Rights.
1:36
Do you remember that, Alison? Do you remember that? Oh? Yes,
1:41
I do you remember that? Yeah? So anyway, doctor John Barry
1:45
is one of very few people that work in the mental health field that are
1:49
discussing men's mental health without the feminist lens, without the feminization, without any
1:57
of this rhetoric around things like toxic masculinity. He's just looking at it for
2:02
what it is and he has found something fascinating. We're going to get into
2:07
it today, but first I need Allison to do the things. So all
2:13
right, so we are once again doing our monthly fundraiser to make sure we
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actually pretty unique when it comes to YouTube content. And unfortunately, because we're
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unique, we don't appeal to a general audience. We just appeal to you
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guys who have a uniquely stubborn streak. Always say stubborn, persistent yeah,
3:05
or just just wanting to know the truth about things. Yeah, you're just
3:08
spurgy about the truth, which I welcome. So yes, yes, we
3:13
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us message, you can do both by adding it to the cart, both
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to the cart. Yet people have asked, and I don't want to cross
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the streams because the way that I've set up this, this the the the
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comments system took a long time to do and it's it's it actually is a
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use, and discord, which is where the super chows spit out that when
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a message, just put in a tip and then put in a support and
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you can do so it feed the badge of dot com slash support and feed
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the badget dot com slash just the tip. I don't know if that was
4:54
helpful, I think, but it was Yeah, yeah, all the things
4:59
are there, just go there, yes, and ye find your way.
5:01
But I think that you're giving you sufficient uh stuff. You don't need a
5:05
world map or feed the badger or maybe you do. I don't know,
5:09
but let's let's get into the article. That's okay, okay. A while
5:15
back, I had a website where you had. It was one of those
5:19
CSS webs or something not not. It was like one of those websites you
5:23
do in a like website builder on the internet, like, yeah, we
5:28
we had to support like a button, except you couldn't actually click the button
5:31
to go support us. You had to you had to find the exact like
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it was. It was maybe like a two pixel wide active area. Yeah,
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so so people would have to sit there and just click it, click
5:46
it click. It's like when you when you go to the naughty sites and
5:51
there's like pop ups and they have a there's a close the window, but
5:55
you can barely find it because it's literally yeah yeah, it's the size of
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Adam. It's one pixel like trying to close this way now. People would
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complain and they say, I tried for like half an hour to support you,
6:09
and I'm like, but I only want to be supported by extremely persistent
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and intelligent people and they'll God, that was probably the wrong way to put
6:19
it, but you know, I want I want the ones that are stubborn
6:23
to support us, like the ones who don't quit. Okay, there,
6:27
there you go. But it's easier now, is what I'm getting at.
6:29
It's much easier now feedbadget dot com. You have lots of options that also
6:33
be a pop up that will take you directly to the support option and yeah,
6:38
there you go. Let's get this going. Guys, all right,
6:41
seeing a little bit, Ne're wracking a little bit. Let's get into the
6:44
article then, so here we go. Uh needs a sound effect. Okay,
6:50
so yeah, you know today, this month, September only has thirty
6:56
days. So you know, if you're like one of those people that wants
6:58
to wait until the thirty first, there is no thirty first. So all
7:01
right. So this article is interesting because it confirms, or at least like
7:08
it supports, an argument that I've been making for a number of years now
7:12
since doing this. And the argument I've made is that you know a lot
7:15
of things that people are accused of isms, right, racism, homophobia,
7:21
sexism, whatever, transphobia, et cetera. They're usually just they're usually just
7:30
missengry with a different skin, so that people don't see that it's actually misdery
7:35
going on, right, And yeah, it's palette swap missengry. Yeah,
7:40
And that's what I thought, because when I hear people, you know,
7:43
for example, talk about Islamophobia, I don't see it directed at women,
7:48
so you know, And and the same thing with racism. When when so
7:51
like, it got me thinking, and the whole Black Lives Matter thing really
7:56
put that in perspective, because that was I've been critical of that kind of
7:59
stuff for since the nineteen nineties, probably before yeah, that was probably about
8:03
the nineties when I started to be like to like, really, you know,
8:07
be skeptical of this kind of stuff. And this I would I don't
8:11
say it confirms it because it's just like us study, but but I think
8:13
it sort of leans itself towards what my impression of it is. So we
8:18
have this article or this this uh yeah, this article from the Center for
8:24
Male Psychology, and it's entitled landmark research study finds that clear evidence of pro
8:31
women anti men bias, something that we suspected. But again, this this
8:37
study kind of confirms it or at least it at least somewhat you know supports
8:41
the idea. So and this is written by doctor John Barry, who I've
8:46
already put links to two other shows we did about him in the description.
8:50
If you don't see it now, refresh and you should be able to see
8:54
the links because I added of them just now. A landmark paper has been
8:58
published. The paper, a series of five experiments involving five thousand, two
9:01
hundred and four participants, found that, overall, more than race, age,
9:07
social class, by far, the largest bias we have is whether you
9:11
are pro woman or anti male bias. Boom. This is surely one of
9:16
the most significant and controversial results of recent years. But wait, you haven't
9:20
heard of this paper. Really, It's been out for over a year,
9:24
first as a pre publication in March of twenty twenty two, and then the
9:28
final version was published in a major journal in January of twenty twenty three.
9:31
So why has this extraordinary finding not been discussed on all the major news outlets
9:35
and opinion platforms. Why are influencers not trying to influence you about what we
9:41
need to do to reduce this bias? And why are psychologists not falling over
9:46
each other to replicate the study. Perhaps we need to have the mystery music
9:50
play. Yeah, I know, I need like the Jeopardy music or something,
9:54
but I don't have it, or the X the X files. Yeah,
10:01
it's a mystery. Why nobody cares? It's a mystery exactly. Perhaps
10:07
the reason is this is such a massively invisible landmark is implicit on the topic
10:11
of the paper itself. People struggle to recognize that bias against men is real.
10:18
So I could like open it up, but he kind of summarizes it
10:22
here too. But here I'll open up the study and the paper in another
10:26
link so that you guys could look at it. It is obviously in this
10:30
article. This is the PDF file and his Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
10:37
manuscript version of Intersectional implicit Bias evidence for as asymmetrically compounding bias and the predominance
10:46
of target gender. And none of the people involved in the study are from
10:52
the you know, the the this culture. No, they're they're they're just
10:56
they're just people doing studies like there weren't expecting you know, they didn't have
11:01
expectations, or maybe their expectations were subverted. Well, we could read the
11:07
paper and find out. I could take a look. Yeah, but I
11:11
mean what I wanted, some things that I wanted to say. First of
11:13
all, there is in the background wittering away, you know not maybe wittering
11:20
is wrong, beavering away is beavering? Is beavery better than wittering? I
11:24
don't know anyway, working away, quietly, working away in like the corner
11:30
offices of places nobody cares about. There's a whole small army of psychologists sociologists
11:37
who are finding all kinds of stuff about human nature and how we read in
11:43
to relate that nobody wants to talk about because it doesn't support the predominant paradigm.
11:48
And what this sort of reminds me of is all the all the monkst
11:52
you know, in in like medieval and the medieval church, that are keeping
11:58
alive heretical knowledge in their little secret like scriptoriums. You know, there's and
12:05
they can't bring this stuff out, We can't let it inform our policy or
12:09
our understandings of ourselves, because we have a gigantic thing squatting on top of
12:18
the presentation of all of this or the distribution of all of this information,
12:22
just like this information information about domestic violence, information about who is actually being
12:26
raped and by whom, and and you know, and all of that finds
12:31
stuff that is completely different than the predominant ideology, Like you know that it
12:37
may be that comparable numbers of men are being raped by women as women are
12:43
being raped by men. We already know with like any researcher who is not
12:48
ideologically aligned in the domestic violence sphere already knows that there's parody or near parody.
12:56
And any researcher not ideologically aligned in the criminal psychology sphere knows that men
13:03
who are rapists or violent criminals are a minority of men who have developmental delay
13:13
problems in their brains. They have brain damage and around their impulse control or
13:18
retardation around their impulse control, and abusive histories, histories of having been abused.
13:24
You know, all they all know this. We what we talk about
13:28
on this show isn't just what you know, Me and Brian didn't just you
13:31
know, I don't know, have like some kind of Satanic ritual and call
13:37
down the evil knowledge from the elder gods, you know, around the fire
13:43
while we were shaking rattles and like, oh my god, this this information,
13:46
this is this is you know that this could destroy the side. No,
13:50
we didn't do that. We looked at what people were actually talking about
13:56
in academia, researchers that weren't id law jucle aligned or alternatively were but we're
14:01
willing to publish findings that we're in opposition to their ideological positions. We looked
14:07
at that. It's this entire corpus corpus, the right word of information that
14:13
nobody wants to look at. At least I did. I'm pretty sure I
14:15
showed it to Brian, so Brian's I've sucked Brian along in my bizarre crusade.
14:20
We've looked at this and that's where this all comes from. It comes
14:24
from the stuff that nobody wants to talk about, and they don't want to
14:26
talk about it. And I know this now for one hund percent sure they
14:31
don't want to talk about it because once you bring men into the picture,
14:35
nobody cares anymore. But if you if you say, okay, well we're
14:39
going to save thirty women a day from domestic violence, everybody's like, oh
14:43
yeah, I'll give you. We'll give you trucklows, get the wheelbarrows of
14:48
money going. We got some bonuses, we got some charity board bonuses to
14:52
give to these women, and then the mine instant you say, oh,
14:56
well, we're going to include like, I don't know, fifteen men a
15:00
week. Everybody's like, oh, stop those wheelbears of money, turn them
15:05
around, go dump thementutes, go dump them in a freaking void. God
15:11
forbid that any of this these funds go to men. And I've seen this
15:15
happen with charities. Charities know that it is suicide for their profits to mention
15:22
male victims of anything because people don't freaking care. And it's really frustrating.
15:28
They so don't care about men that they can be convinced that everybody else around
15:33
them cares about men. And that needs to stop because it's so horrifying to
15:39
people. I mean, it's like you go up to somebody on a freaking
15:41
street and you're like, you know, there could be somewhere, somehow,
15:46
in a dark corner somewhere a guy is benefiting at the expense of a woman.
15:50
And then the person's eyes will roll into the back of their head and
15:56
they'll start emitting a sound like the hell gates of Hell have opened up,
16:02
and then they'll screech at most stop. That's the average person's reaction to all
16:08
that you know. And that's why we can have these ideologies in which we
16:15
are in absolute defiance of everything we know academically, everything we can see or
16:21
into it in the world around us, and somehow believe things like, oh
16:25
yeah, society is constructed for the benefit of men. That's constructed out of
16:30
our anxiety and free that fear, our terror that it might be there might
16:36
be a situation somewhere out there where men benefit. That that's construct The entire
16:41
perception that we have a society, so called system that benefits men is constructed
16:47
out of our terror that anywhere, anyhow men could be benefited. And it's
16:53
it's really why are we like this by a whole lot of I mean,
17:02
I don't know. I think that we've people have just been lied to for
17:06
generations and they're they're proud and they don't want to face reality, or they
17:11
never looked into it, or there is a silent majority that doesn't that agrees
17:17
with us. But hasn't you know, spoken up so hard to say,
17:22
Milly, I mean, honestly, if you think about it, we do.
17:26
Our society for most of human history, we've had to be able to
17:32
sacrifice men in order for any particular society to continue to exist. That's in
17:37
the bottom line, and I guess we've just dealt with it. I saw
17:42
a memory on my Facebook that I shared on my Twitter page where I asked
17:48
the question what is the most powerful and valuable resource on Earth? And people,
17:56
you know, said love? Was some guy corn motherfucker said love,
18:00
and somebody said oil, and somebody said, you know, labor, and
18:07
somebody said intelligence. And I was like, you guys don't get it.
18:08
It's men, Like it's it's it's men. Are you know? Everybody's fighting
18:15
over resources and men are the ultimate resource. Without them, you can't acquire
18:18
anything else, Like you need men to acquire resources, so I can't.
18:25
I'm just you know, people don't get it. That's how that's how much
18:29
of a blind spot there is. I said, it's men, guys.
18:33
Men are the most powerful resource on Earth. It's not love, because without
18:36
a vehicle to act through love as a meaningless sentiment, men with love for
18:38
themselves, for women and children, for their communities, and for their country
18:42
are motivated to exercise that resource cooperatively with other men to build and maintain society.
18:48
It's not oil. Or some other you know, physical energy source,
18:52
because without men to harness it, it's meaningless. Labor is half right,
18:56
but men are the ones who decide to use that labor to build what we
18:59
now enjoy the fact that we can turn on a device like a television,
19:03
a computer, a video game, a kitch, go to the kitchen,
19:07
turn on the faucet head and get clean, hot or cold water, get
19:14
a signal like for the for the Internet on your phone, on a radio,
19:18
and you know, and like it's all possible through mostly mail cooperation.
19:26
You know the fact that we can walk into a supermarket, which I did
19:27
today, and just get food without having a hunt for anything, without having
19:32
a breed any animals, without having to grow any crops. It's just there.
19:36
It's already, it's already been picked, cut up, cleaned, packaged,
19:38
and delivered. Men did all of that, and every step of the
19:41
way. We have Rohods, cards, electricity, the internet, boats,
19:45
Alaskan crab, libraries, philosophies, science, grocery stores, museums, restaurants,
19:49
plumbing, air conditioning, heating, cell phones, air travel, and
19:52
much more, all due to men's labor. Sure there are women in these
19:56
fields doing good work. As well. But let's be real for a moment.
19:59
If all the in these fields disappeared tomorrow, the whole system collapses in
20:03
minutes. So, you know, and and I mean basically, I'm just
20:07
echoing what you said, you know, And it's so it's it's around us
20:11
to such a degree that people can't see it, you know, they just
20:17
take it for granted, like well, I just you know, go to
20:18
the store. That's why they're so quick to essentially like, you know,
20:22
not even consider that making more people is important because we need more men because
20:29
the men who are here, they're not going to be able to do this
20:32
forever. We want to reward them with retirement or pension or something, so
20:37
you know, like like let's let's look at that, like take take that
20:41
into consideration, you know. And I think more and more people are seeing
20:44
I watched a number of videos today. There's a guy I'm forgetting his name
20:49
now, that Chris Williamson, and he usually gets interviewers on and he appeared
20:57
in some other guy's show and he was talking about like the problems with dating,
21:03
which you know, we're happened to be talking about today, and how
21:04
like, you know, fifty percent or something close to fifty percent of men,
21:07
according to some study, are just not interested in women, not for
21:11
hookups, not for long term, not for anything. And and a lot
21:15
of it has to do with the fact that they don't feel wanted. So
21:19
it's like, well, why bother? And that has that has to be
21:23
addressed. I mean, what are you gonna do. Let me put it
21:29
this way, and yes, I'm going to put some some responsibility on women.
21:34
Men swim in a sea of anti mail sentiment. I asked a couple
21:40
weeks ago, how many anti Maile statements do you experience in a day?
21:47
And I got some responses and they were like, well, you know,
21:49
I actually paid attention to it. It was unbelievable, and I'm like,
21:53
yeah, this is what men existent. And the funny thing is is that
21:57
if we did the reverse, if we directed like the media. I'm not
22:02
talking about just people, which people feel fine to express anti mail sentiments,
22:06
but I'm talking about advertising, the media, government, PSAs, all of
22:15
that, all of that anti mail signaling. If we as a society,
22:21
or if we saw a society, if we walked through a mirror darkly and
22:23
came into a society that had that much anti female signaling from institutions, will
22:30
we consider it an atrocity? And yet we don't, And we don't even
22:36
allow a recognition that maybe this might be having an effect on men's psychologically what
22:41
we would consider an atrocity were directed as women. We won't even acknowledge that,
22:48
hey, maybe this could be harming men. Maybe that's why we have
22:52
you know, men have a higher rate of suicide. Maybe that's why men
22:55
are experiencing shame. And the thing is that if a man swims in a
23:00
sea of misinjury, and again, what was interesting is a lot of them
23:03
said, you know, I just filtered it out and when I actually looked,
23:07
it was astounding. And men swim in the sea. And then if
23:14
they actually get to the point of enticing a woman into a long term relationship,
23:18
how much of that more of that missengjury are they inviting into their day
23:22
to day existence with her? Think about it. I mean, at least
23:26
if you're alone, there's nobody repeating nobody, no intimate partner who you know,
23:33
holding her your hand, your heart in her hands, repeating that stuff
23:38
to you at home. And I can see on a subconscious level that there
23:45
would be a somewhat of a revulsion to become vulnerable to a woman who is
23:49
steeped in this kind of cultural milieu, Like, why would you want more
23:53
of that? On some level, I know men still seek relationships with women,
24:00
but really, what kind of relationship can you have with someone who despises
24:03
an essential part of who you are? You know, And I can see
24:07
why why men would just be like opting out even and I don't even think
24:11
it's a conscious thing. It's probably completely unconscious on these guys part. But
24:18
on that level, by judging that women based on simply that metric, Like,
24:23
I'm not gonna judge women. I know. There was recently pearly tweeted
24:29
about Brosnin Pierce Brosnan and his her wife, his wife. Yeah, it's
24:36
like, I'm not gonna I'm not going to call women out on that level.
24:44
I mean, if he's still married to her, and let's face it,
24:47
they have enough money that they could liposuction her into a size negative sixteen.
24:52
Yeah, but I don't think it was important for him. Yeah,
24:55
it's either not important for him or he likes he likes the large tracks of
24:59
land, so she you know, he knows about you know, when you're
25:02
like married to somebody for a long time. It's it's not like what people
25:07
see is not even like a tenth of the full picture, right, Like,
25:11
sure she probably has like her you know, imperfections and flaws, but
25:18
he's accepted them and loves her anyway. And he's probably got imperfections and laws
25:22
too that you know, we we aren't gonna know about. It's and it's
25:26
not our business. So I think that I don't think pearls out of line.
25:32
Anybody can say whatever they want about whatever, but I don't think it's
25:37
I think that it's more about like I think she's just trying to you know,
25:41
again, she's kicking the hornet's nest. But it's Pierce Bras's choice,
25:45
and not all men have to have like, you know, insane standards.
25:48
I mean, maybe his saders are really high and she meets them, but
25:52
yeah, he might happen, Yeah, like his own criteria, she's yea
26:00
with them. Yeah, and you know, she's clearly like got the correct
26:03
values because that's one of the few the celebrity when it marriages or whatever that
26:07
didn't end in disaster. So maybe there's something to be said for that too.
26:12
So yeah, yeah, so I would say that, you know,
26:15
because she was said, is this winning? And I'm like, uh,
26:18
okay, that's not what I'm going to call out with women. Yes,
26:22
women should probably for their own sakes, improve their health. Same thing with
26:29
men. It's a lot there's a lot of there's a lot of denial about
26:34
health, I would say in our society. But what I would really call
26:41
women out for, and and this particular criteria I think is really critical.
26:49
One and two most women I think fail, and that is do they value
26:57
masculinity and do they value what it brings to their life? And that is
27:03
a real litmus test in my opinion. And if you don't, why are
27:08
you Why do you want a relationship with a man in the first place?
27:11
What do you really after? You're not after a companionship? What do you
27:15
really after? You know? And that's what I would post it, And
27:19
that's what I would say to men like you cannot have a companion. You
27:23
cannot have companionship with someone who doesn't value masculinity. If you're a man,
27:30
you know you don't have to be like John Wayne or Clint Eastwood. And
27:33
I think that there was more vulnerability than what we're willing to admit with those
27:37
characters, but at some level, you are a man, and you act
27:44
and like men act in a way that's consistent with that kind of a masculine
27:51
psychology and it's distinct from a feminine psychology. And if you're with a woman
27:55
who cannot appreciate that, you're not going to have a relationship. It's not
28:00
going to be a decent relationship. I mean, it's like, it's like
28:03
a woman goes the way that I put it in sort of humorously, as
28:07
a woman goes into SPCA and says, I want a dog. I really
28:11
hate dogs. I think they're smelly and they're like they hump things and they're
28:17
gross, and I hate everything about dogs. I hate the way they act.
28:22
I hate what they want, but I want a dog. It's like,
28:26
no, you can't have a dog, and you shouldn't, well like
28:30
you, if you want to have a dog, you at least have to
28:33
be neutral to doggy traits, you know, And I don't see a lot
28:37
of that. So maybe men are on a subconscious level of recognizing that women
28:42
are rejecting them an essential part of them, which is their masculinity and their
28:48
masculine approach to the world. Sorry for my biological essentialism, but unfortunately humans
28:55
have not transcended into energy beings. We still have of the same hormonal structures
29:03
is as animals. In many cases, we still have that same limbic system.
29:07
Yep. So it still hasn't an effect on us. It's tragic,
29:12
but it's true. Tragic, but it's true. We're not energy beings yet.
29:18
Yeah, Okay, I've not ascended all right, So let me get
29:22
back to the article. Let's take a closer look at this new study.
29:26
It tested implicit bias, measuring how long it took for participants to associate either
29:32
positive or negative words like good, bad, pleasant, unpleasant with pictures of
29:37
men or women, randomized either for order of presentation of picture or for type
29:42
of demographic presented. Here's an outline of the five phases of the study.
29:48
Study one measured evaluations by US adults recruited via m Turk of one hundred and
29:52
thirty full body photographs of males varying in raised, black, white, et
29:57
cetera, and social class. In study two, this format was expanded to
30:02
include pictures of Asian people and included pictures of men and women of different ages,
30:07
social classes, and ethnicities. Study three was similar to Study two,
30:11
except they showed upper body photos as well as full body photos and swamped around
30:17
the faces and bodies in the photos. Sauti four used the same procedure as
30:21
Study three, but with two nationally representative samples of US adults recruited via prolific
30:27
Saudi five analyzed the data from studies two through four to see how much the
30:32
demographic characteristics of participants was related to their evaluations of the photograph. Of the
30:37
photographs, in brief, the pictures in the research showed men and women of
30:44
different races and ages, and dressed to reflect different social classes. The researchers
30:48
found a small but consistent effect of class. Smarter clothes were linked to more
30:52
positive attributes. There was a small and inconsistent effect on race, and no
30:59
effect of age. There was no consistent interaction effects between any of these demographic
31:03
categories. Example, evaluations of older Black women were much the same as evaluations
31:08
of younger Black women. But the main finding was that no matter what the
31:12
race, class, or sex of the participant making the ratings, there was
31:17
a strong tendency to associate women with positive attributes and men with negative ones.
31:23
For those of you who know about male psychology in general and gamma bias in
31:29
particular, this finding won't come as a surprise. Although research into bias against
31:34
men is uncommon, there is evidence that women are favored over men in various
31:38
ways, such as moral typecasting, stem jobs, and health promotion. It's
31:44
been known for two decades. And not only do women favor women over men,
31:48
but men favor women over men. Yes, we have talked about that
31:51
on here, and I think that should be obvious. The surprising thing is
31:55
that the present research so clearly says the quiet part out loud, that the
32:00
paper was published in a major journal of social psychology, a field not known
32:05
for its interest in men's issues. It's surprising because our culture has become disinterested
32:09
in problems impacting men, so disinterested, in fact, that virtually no research
32:15
has been done on this important aspect of sexism. Yet, as it turns
32:20
out, the bias again, I don't think it. I don't think we've
32:24
ever really been interested in male issues. No, yeah, no, I
32:30
don't think. But maybe you might make an argument in like ancient Rome,
32:37
I don't know. Yeah, a little bit of conversation about that historically,
32:42
and then there's all the countercultural, the extremely small countercultural voices throughout the last
32:49
couple of centuries, like Backs, you know Backs, I don't know the
32:53
rest of us. I forget the rest of his name. Backs, Yeah,
32:59
he wrote some some and also like occasionally literary literary, in literature,
33:05
you'll sometimes see more of the male point of view and uh, and some
33:10
of the things that that men face, like the grapes of wrath not no,
33:15
not the grape sorry of mice and men has a character of a woman
33:21
who who threatens black men in the story with a false accusation, so a
33:25
lynching basically, and the men in the story, like the white guys who
33:32
were working with him, stand up for him and say, well, well
33:36
will we will you know, we won't let you do that, because we'll
33:39
we'll tell tell the truth of what happened. And she said, well,
33:45
I'll just accuse you too of lying, which shut every man up, because
33:52
women had that power, that social power of leveling an accusation, and it
33:57
was particularly it sounds like if you look at them, if you get the
34:00
history like literature and read the situation for men in the so called horrible patriots
34:06
patriarchies of the past, it sounds like it was a really legitimate threat that
34:12
a woman would get a man killed on her word alone, like not just
34:16
dpersoned and gotten get rid of his career, killed hild on her word alone.
34:24
And so this isn't something that's new. This is something that's unaddressed and
34:31
has been has been a fellow traveler of our society for a very long time.
34:37
Yeah, okay, Yeah, it's arrogance. Because there's a there is
34:43
this the current. I guess you could say the people alive today, a
34:47
lot of them believe that we're so much more moral, so much wiser,
34:52
so much smarter than people of the past, that we think that the world
34:54
of the past must have been completely different. I think that's kind of partly
34:59
what this feminist of yesterday is based on as an idea. You know,
35:02
I told you I was watching a lot of videos today because I was looking
35:05
for something to respond to and some things that I thought would be kind of
35:08
interesting. There was one of pearl where she was being interviewed I think it
35:14
was, Yeah, Pearls being interviewed by some other guy on she was on
35:15
some other guy's podcast, and he was trying to like challenge her on stuff.
35:22
But it was all based in the presumption that women used to have it
35:27
really bad. And so, you know, because because her whole like the
35:30
big sticking point that everyone's trying to get her with is the vote. And
35:34
she's basically explaining, you know, reasonably well that like you're you're assuming that,
35:39
like you know, before you were born, the world was so awful
35:44
and now that you're here, you're gonna make it better. And that's like,
35:45
that's the arrogance of so many people that are you know, either they
35:52
consider themselves to be feminists or just or progressive or whatever is. They have
35:55
this arrogance about the past that they didn't live through and they just think,
36:00
oh no, it could everybody was caveman before I was born. It's it's
36:02
you know what I'm saying. It's like I see it all the time,
36:07
and uh, there just needs to be some humility. But anyway, I
36:10
got a super chat. I got two of them. I got a super
36:14
chat from Albatross for five dollars and he says, Dude, I use that
36:16
same analogy about a person adopting a dog but disliking dogs too. Yes,
36:22
well, yeah, I mean, if you don't like a certain animal you
36:27
probably shouldn't have it as a pet. You should probably just either deal with
36:30
that because I don't know who doesn't like animals. You have to work that
36:35
out, or just don't get one. And then Albatross again, thank you.
36:37
Albatross gives us two dollars and says also use the analog a zoop keeper
36:43
who hates animals. All right, thank you for the super chats. I
36:49
got some thanks. Oh good, good good. So we got one from
36:57
Morton W for ten dollars, Thank you, Morton W. Thank you Morton
37:01
W. Hold on a second, I got a button for that. Thank
37:07
you very much. That's really nice. Thank you. All right, all
37:10
right, we got one from Seva for twenty five dollars, thank you,
37:15
or yeah, twenty five dollars, thank you Seva. All right, excellent,
37:19
all right. So once again we have only three days left to the
37:22
fundraiser, in quite a ways to go. So if you are thinking of
37:28
putting something in there, you know, one hundred bucks, fifty bucks,
37:30
whatever, five bucks really helps, just spend the time to put in feed
37:36
the Badger dot com slash support and think about it. It's really critical that
37:40
we are able to get this fundraiser done. So that we can continue to
37:45
do this work. And I'm pretty sure like we are. I think we're
37:51
even unique among men's rights activists and men's issues advocates, oh for sure.
37:57
In particular, I think that I bring the perspective of of how the real
38:00
reason that this is a big problem for women and and also the social context
38:08
that we need to address these issues. Or are we have a failed society?
38:15
Yeah, I'm gonna be quite one. I don't know when the fatal
38:20
failure will occur. I don't know if anybody knows. I mean, in
38:23
twenty eighteen, I sort of predicted things that'd start to get pretty bad in
38:27
twenty twenty, and that was maybe the first real bad earthquake for how we're
38:34
structuring society and how it's starting to lose its cohesion and sense. But ultimately,
38:40
we are a failed society until we figure this out, until we get
38:45
men and women partnering up again, forming relationships or at least having a cordial
38:52
attitude towards each other, specifically getting rid of this unbelievable level of mysgry.
38:58
Although I again I there is I think there is a reason for it,
39:01
and we need to actually address that reason as opposed to just continuing to shame
39:07
men until we fix that. We're a failed society. There's no society on
39:10
earth that continues that it can exist without pair bonding. Mh. It just
39:19
doesn't happen for us. Okay, we're not We're not, you know,
39:22
in in the well, it's either that or concubines like you know, like
39:30
like harems. I don't, I don't know. I mean, yeah,
39:32
but even those societies, the thing is that the harem becomes parasitic and the
39:37
rest of society, and eventually, eventually it gets to a point where the
39:43
men are not invested the and uh, they no longer want to pay money
39:49
into the harem system. Well, and then it just it's a it's a
39:52
system. I didn't say it was sustainable. And yet and that's already happening
39:55
now. I think that's kind of what we're starting to see the start the
40:00
start of that. And I mentioned that, you know, one of the
40:02
videos I watched today was I Can Find It. It was a woman I
40:12
think she was a feminist woman named Louise Perry, and she wrote about wrote
40:19
a book rather about the sexual revolution, and she's basically trying to like,
40:23
you know, reverse the damage or at least like she's calling for a change.
40:29
And she mentioned that that you know, we're getting to a place where
40:32
there's gonna be well, basically, we're at a place now where there's like,
40:36
you know, a very small percentage of men who have access to all
40:39
the women. And Chris Williamson said that the problem with those men is that
40:44
they're not going to settle down. If they have so many options, why
40:45
would they only pick one? So they're probably just gonna play the field.
40:50
And then you have a bunch of other men who are idle. They have
40:52
nothing, you know, they have nothing going on, so they check out
40:55
a society they don't want to be a part of, you know, they
40:58
don't want to contribute because they don't feel like it's they they're deserving. And
41:01
on top of that, you heap all this you know, missentry on them
41:05
and you tell them that they should never feel entitled to anything, and that
41:08
you know that if they should be lucky to have I don't know what what
41:13
little they do have, and that they don't deserve anything that comes from the
41:16
feminist and any wonder why we're going in the direction that we're going, And
41:21
I'm like, well, you know, Perry, you don't have a solution
41:24
to this problem. I mean, I'm glad that you're pointing it out,
41:29
but you know you probably were part of it, like because I know she
41:31
was a feminist before. I mean I would she probably wouldn't call herself one
41:36
now, but I'm sure that you know there's still some of that in there.
41:39
Sore pointing out the problem is it's a start. Yeah, it's a
41:45
start, so let's not let's not punat her for a start. So,
41:50
you know, good job on the start. Yeah, we do need some
41:52
solutions, and they're going to start with listening to men. But what I
41:58
wanted to say in regards to that is this whole guilty of men, it
42:02
can work to elicit pro social behavior, because that's really I think what the
42:07
Christian Church managed to do in people throughout history is through this whole process of
42:14
guilting it, it elicited a desire or a feeling like you had to contribute
42:19
to society. So it created a very pro social system. And yes there
42:24
were aspects that were not pro social, but I would invite anybody who thinks
42:29
that Christian society is not pro social to go look at other societies outside of
42:36
like the big big empires or even the societies in Europe at the time.
42:42
Human sacrifice friends, Okay, let's just let's just limit of that. But
42:49
what the point I wanted to make is that guilt is a pro social emotion
42:52
and encourages people to contribute to the system. That's really what feminism is about.
42:59
It's about guilting men. Like honestly, it's about obtaining that guilt resource
43:02
to keep men doing what they do when we can't afford men to stop.
43:08
And but the problem is that we're not guilting men anymore. We're shaming them.
43:15
And what we're shaming them for is contributing to the very thing that we
43:20
want them to contribute to. Like, really, is, if your messaging
43:24
is that we need men to continue to contribute to society to in order to
43:29
maintain it, then why are you telling men that they're contributation contribute. Contribution
43:32
to society harms women? Like, yeah, you're when you guilt people,
43:39
you guilt them into doing something you wanted them to do, right, And
43:44
yeah, I know people are like, all guilt's horrible. Well, it's
43:46
just sort of the nature of the beast for a social species, like social
43:51
species, feel guilt because they feel like they have to have an obligation to
43:57
their social group. And that obligation is really critical because we are not just
44:01
para bonders. We also reproduce in large groups, large resource groups. So
44:07
we need a group in order to be reproductively valid or viable. So that
44:12
comes with it guilt, and that guilt comes from our relationship to the group
44:16
and how well we've served it or haven't served it. And so you got
44:21
humans, they're social, You've got guilt. There's no way around it.
44:23
It's just going to be there. But guilt can be beneficial when you also
44:32
have a narrative of strength. And what I mean by that is men are
44:37
so strong they need to help the weak. That's a guilting statement, but
44:43
it also is a statement that recognizes that men have a value that other people
44:49
may not have. Okay, that's when guilt works. Guilt does not work
44:53
when you say something like men are weak and stupid. They owe it to
45:00
other people to participate in a society in which these weak and stupid men oppressed
45:06
women. It's like what And I know when you're when you're listening to me,
45:09
you're like what the fuck message is that it's it is the message that
45:13
we're giving men. Not only is it shaming, it's also incoherent, incoherent,
45:19
and self contradictory. And here's the thing. That's the first thing.
45:23
We need to kick out the incoherent and self contradictory messaging that we give men.
45:30
And we need to figure out how do you give people a sense of
45:36
guilt without shutting them down emotionally, Because, like I said, guilt is
45:43
a resource. It's an important resource for a social species. And I mean,
45:50
I think Christians really hit and I'm afraid that maybe I'm not saying this
45:53
in the right way or in a way that might offend people, but Christians
45:58
hit on something pretty big when they created this idea that you have a direct
46:02
relationship to God and your actions either help or harm his ability to do battle
46:07
with the great evil. Like that's a narrative of both heroism and guilt.
46:14
What's really powerful, and it's really pro social because it gets people invested in
46:19
their communities, It gets people invested in helping others. Right, And yes
46:23
there are problems with it, and yes there are definitely problems with the very
46:28
human institutions that pushed it on people, but at the same time as the
46:31
message itself is very pro social. So how do you create a message of
46:37
guilt that's legitimate, that doesn't shut people down but encourages them to be their
46:42
best selves Because we don't have that right now, and that's what we need,
46:46
because what we have right now, the way that we are going about
46:50
doing the guilt fracking, you know, is destroying men at this point.
46:55
You know, it's not just that men are no longer getting up and getting
46:59
in to the ring when it comes to relationships. The participation of men in
47:07
the workforce is declining. Okay, it dropped down during the coup, measures
47:17
it's gotten back down to where it was during coup. Okay, Men's participation
47:22
in the workforce is going down at an unbelievable rate, all right, And
47:30
no matter what people think, if men aren't participating in the workforce, eventually
47:37
women are going to have to pick up the slack. And it's not going
47:40
to be for the white collar jobs. It's gonna be picking up people's shit
47:46
and managing these heavings. And I don't even know if women are capable of
47:52
doing all of these jobs. And right now it's okay, because men who
47:58
have a higher risk tolerance, higher tolerance of discomfort, a greater interest or
48:02
greater ability, Like a man can sit there on like an oil platform and
48:09
do that that incredibly difficult labor of moving. Do you do you have you
48:15
seen that video where they're just moving this some bit in and out, and
48:19
it's like this huge system and he's just basically a cog in it. Men
48:25
have the ability to be a cog in a system and understand the entire system
48:30
around them and their purpose in it and take a sense of pride from that.
48:37
Women have difficulty with that because they're not systems thinkers, and they don't
48:45
from what I can tell from being around women, they don't take a lot
48:50
of pride from just being a simple, singular mechanism in a larger hole.
48:55
It's not mentally they don't. They don't get satisfaction from that. But they're
49:00
going to be forced to do all of these roles eventually. If men's participation
49:06
in the workforces declining, now, maybe that'd be a good thing. Maybe
49:08
it's self correcting. Maybe they'll start doing those roles and say, hey,
49:13
oh, actually being a homemaker is better than being covered in oily mud while
49:17
moving some gigantic you know, piston from here to there. You know,
49:23
maybe that's better. Maybe maybe that'll be self correcting. Maybe it'll end up
49:30
and women understanding the male role are appreciating it more like I think a lot
49:35
of women who do that kind of work where they can do you know,
49:38
maybe it's self correcting. I don't know, but ultimately it's a bit of
49:44
a bit of an aside along aside. Ultimately, what we need to do
49:49
is we need to develop a system of guilt that invites people to be their
49:52
best selves and doesn't shut people down emotionally. And again, guilt is something
50:00
not bad. It's it's like, uh, you know, guilt keeps people
50:02
from weighing five hundred pounds. Guilt keeps people, you know, getting up
50:08
at six am in the morning and running. Guilt keeps people from stealing shit.
50:15
And guilt keeps people stopping at red lights and returning library books. Guilt
50:20
keep Guilt keeps people being able to speak the same language. All right,
50:24
So there there's a lot of important stuff behind guilt. So how do we
50:30
create a system, a modern system without an appeal to God that enables the
50:35
grades A system of guilt that enables people to strive to their best selves without
50:39
shutting them down emotionally and ultimately is something that people realize has improved their lives.
50:46
Okay, guilt has improved my life. I'll be the first person to
50:51
say that. I'll be a woman that says that my guilt over the issues
50:54
that men face and my relationship to those issues has improved my life. It's
51:01
improved my understanding of my husband. It's improved on my understanding the men in
51:06
my life. You know, it's improved the way that I approached things.
51:09
It's forced me to look deeper into myself, to find reservoirs of strength that
51:15
I never thought I had, and to face things that I never I was
51:22
willing to walk away from like a fucking coward, and I was forced to
51:24
face them because of a men's issues. So guilt can be an incredibly important
51:30
thing in your life. And I think there's an absolute deficit of it in
51:36
women, and there is an access to the point of shame of it in
51:39
men, and we need to balance that out better. And that's a message
51:44
that not a lot of people want to hear, But if you want to
51:46
hear it, please support the show, because if you don't support the show,
51:53
we cease to exist. There's a little bit of a guilt trip there.
51:57
There you go, alright, alright that oh it's fine, It's fine,
52:05
Okay, let's let's continue. So the surprising thing, Oh, I
52:13
was close to the end here. Yet, as it turns out, the
52:15
bias against men is so large that, as predicted by gamma bias theory,
52:20
your perception of the world needs to be distorted not to see it. It
52:25
is worth noting that although tests of implicit bias have been widely used and have
52:30
been widely criticized, mainly because they fail to predict whether someone's unconscious reactions will
52:35
predict their behavior. In other words, unconscious biases in no way evidence of
52:39
discrimination. The same criticism might be applied to the present study, though,
52:45
as John Tierney said in his recent excellent article stated, quote, when it
52:49
comes to detecting missentry, we don't need to probe the unconscious to find it.
52:52
There is overwhelming evidence of conscious, blatant, and widespread discrimination against boys
52:58
and men in modern society. Quote example, the popular narrative about toxic masculinity,
53:04
the lack of empathy gap for boys falling behind girls in education, Title
53:07
nine, etc. So why do people rate men so negatively compared to women.
53:15
There are several reasons that transcend culture, example the male disposability hypothesis,
53:21
but I think it's important to highlight here the influence of our present culture.
53:25
We have, arguably, for the past several decades been suing in a soup
53:29
of increasing distrust of men. For example, in the field of psychology,
53:32
research into masculinity took a sudden negative turn in the nineteen eighties, becoming fixated
53:38
on ways in which masculinity might be harmful. Similarly, the rise of ideas
53:45
like patriarchy theory, which is an ideology rather than a scientific theory, have
53:49
stereotype men as privileged oppressors. Although these ideas began in sociology departments in the
53:54
nineteen seventies, they have become a staple of many topics throughout the social sciences
54:00
and beyond. Despite the empirical weakness of ideas like patriarchy theory and the deficit
54:06
deficit model of masculinity, these notions have had enormous influence, starting in academia
54:12
where students are taught these views, and then spreading to government, the law,
54:15
and the media where the graduates earnestly put into practice what they have been
54:20
taught. It's probably no coincidence had all members of the research team who conducted
54:27
the present study, which included academics of an impressively high academic caliber, none
54:31
of them had a background in masculinity research. True, they were all social
54:36
psychologists, and as such what have been exposed to ideas about patriarchy theory and
54:40
negative views of masculinity. But that just makes it all the more encouraging that
54:45
they transcend these notions and produced such an important study. So the people who
54:51
did the study were trained in patriarchy theory most like, there's a very high
54:57
chance they were, like ninety percent right, because essentially the humanities, if
55:01
not all of university, almost all of university is inundated with this kind of
55:07
feminist framework in all of it, and you could, you know, there's
55:12
a number of reasons for this, but it certainly is true. Like when
55:15
I went to college, I there was feminism in my chemistry class, there
55:20
was feminism in my physics class. It made no sense, you know,
55:24
obviously it was in literature because I did I had to read a Doll's House,
55:30
you know, and other sort of you know, feminist work, some
55:34
feminist poem. It was cringe. I was, it was. It was
55:37
the worst I was fighting with. There was a ethics and science class.
55:43
Ethics and science, you know, where you're talking about things like transhumanism,
55:46
Should we upload our consciousness to a computer? What are the potential ethical problems
55:52
with like this or that scientific pursuit. No, we weren't talking about that
55:55
at all. We were talking about abortion and and feminism. And I had
56:01
to fight with my professor on that, and he didn't like me. They
56:06
told, you know, he said I hated women. But I still passed
56:07
his class with an A because he couldn't deny that I was doing the work.
56:12
So and the women in the class they gave me credit for that.
56:15
They said that they appreciated that I spoke up, and I said, well,
56:19
then next time, you guys should become anyway, in terms of academic
56:25
excellence, one unique achievement of this study was that it's the first of its
56:30
kind to systematically very race, sex, social class, and age of the
56:35
pictures presented to participants. However, given the great import of the study,
56:38
the paper has received remarkably little attention either from the media or academia. For
56:45
example, although the average number of citations of the other papers published in that
56:49
edition of the journal is eleven, there have been only seven citations of the
56:53
present study in Scholar at the time of writing September twenty seven, twenty twenty
56:59
three, which is basically yesterday. One can't help speculating that if the results
57:04
had shown that women or ethnic minority people were the victims of bias, the
57:07
media and academia would be eagerly agonizing about misogyny, patriarchy, toxic masculinity,
57:14
and white supremacy, etc. Nonetheless, my hope is that this paper will
57:19
get even a fraction of the recognition that it deserves and inspire replications and further
57:23
exploration of this crucial but overlooked topic. So the papers called intersectional implicit bias
57:31
evidence for asymmetrically compounding bias and the predominance of target gender. And there's a
57:38
link to it in this article which I have linked below to write in the
57:43
first paragraph and yeah, it basically confirms what I said it And I think,
57:47
Alison, you said that some of the stuff that we talk about here
57:52
is even unique for other men's rights activists are in the space, and I'm
57:58
inclined to agree. So I had a guest on a few weeks a few
58:01
weeks ago, and his his channel's called ten men or he's his presence,
58:07
I don't know. He's a discord or an Instagram or something, and and
58:09
he shares like a lot of like you know, images and and and all
58:15
this stuff. And I talked to him about, you know, the I
58:20
proposed to him in a patron show, so we didn't do it on live
58:22
show. The idea that all of these other isms are simply ways to cloak
58:30
missentry. And I still think it's true. I maintain that as as my
58:34
the working theory. I'm willing to die on this hill, you know,
58:37
and maybe I'll be proven wrong, and it's fine. I can adjust my
58:39
my views if I am. But I nobody's had the guts to even like
58:45
challenge this idea. And he disagreed with me. He thought, you know,
58:50
like, uh, you know, being black is worse than being a
58:53
man, and and that they intersect. But you know, there's it's a
58:57
series, and I was like, I don't think so, like I think
59:00
that there there are When it comes down to it, it's men that are
59:05
the ones dealing with most of you know, any of these issues. It's
59:08
it's men who are gay that got bashed or got you know, beat up
59:13
or whatever. Not lesbian women. You know, it's it's trans women who
59:19
are born male that are the ones that everyone is fretting about right now because
59:22
they're men. To them, they're treating them like men, even if they
59:25
identify as women. You know, it's it's men who are of any the
59:30
number of minority races I already mentioned before. You know, when people talk
59:35
about their concerns with Muslims, they're not talking about Muslim women, they're talking
59:38
about men. So it's it's a It's clearly the gender dynamic is the most
59:44
important dynamic. But the gender dynamic is not profitable for these people. Progressives
59:50
don't make But Black Lives Matter didn't raise a billion dollars because they were advocating
59:54
for men. They did it advocating for blacks. But they specifically priorities highs
1:00:00
black women because they know that they if they bring the gender into it,
1:00:05
it's going to essentially lessen their their ability to grift Black men shot by police,
1:00:10
black women most affective. Yeah, black men killed by police or in
1:00:15
whatever circumstance, black women most affected exactly. So I would say that like
1:00:22
as we see in this in this particular, I think you're right. You
1:00:28
say you specifically said that you think that black men deal with well, what's
1:00:32
happening to them is as a result of myscendry or bias against men, And
1:00:37
I think you're right. I think what's actually happening is that particular categories of
1:00:44
men are seen to be violating social norms or a threat to like the main
1:00:52
category of women or just women in general in different ways, and they're discriminated
1:00:55
based on that perception. And what's happening is that you can ameliorate that mis
1:01:01
injury through high status professions, through money, through I guess being seen is
1:01:10
more innocuous, like like Asian and white men are you know, you can
1:01:15
admit ameliorate it. But Black men are seen as being implicitly the worst parts
1:01:23
of masculinity. Yeah, let's be honest. Well yeah, but that's again,
1:01:28
that's it people are. And the thing is too, is that these
1:01:32
like like these groups, these these feminist organizations like BLM, but not only
1:01:37
in the academic world, they kind of like they construct, you know,
1:01:43
through all of the policies that have passed and generations of fatherlessness they create discriminal
1:01:51
nature. They kind of contribute to this because you know, a boy with
1:01:54
regardless of race, that doesn't have a father in his life is more likely
1:01:59
to you know, become criminal, be abused, and be exposed to all
1:02:02
these other things that will alter his psychology and then he acts that out in
1:02:07
the world. And then they point out in CEC there's a problem with men
1:02:10
if they're black women. They'll say that because you know, some of the
1:02:14
biggest critics of say, uh, you know, gangster culture or rap culture
1:02:21
are black women. That's all. They're misogynistic and YadA YadA, but they're
1:02:24
but those men are created by those black women. And but then if the
1:02:29
if the if the man's not black and it's a white guy that does it,
1:02:31
then they can just change. They just rearrange the the you know,
1:02:36
the the adjectives, and then they have a new a new monster. But
1:02:39
they never address the root cause and to give evidence of that like some some
1:02:45
supporting thing whenever, and I've seen this over and over and over and over
1:02:49
when there are discussion I want to speak about the black population in particular,
1:02:52
but it's not obviously isolated to this, but it's a really good example.
1:02:58
You will see people like lay Elder, who is a black man that is
1:03:01
uh, you know, more on the right, and he's trying to like
1:03:06
address the root causes. Thomas Soul another one he turned. I think he
1:03:10
just reads the new book. He's like ninety three and the guy is still
1:03:14
writing very very base dude. And they try to address these things, and
1:03:19
they'll say, look, you know, I've looked at all of the studies.
1:03:22
I have all of this data, and what it tells me is the
1:03:25
problem is fatherlessness. And ultimately, if you have a father in the home
1:03:30
and he's involved with the children and he is a good counterbalance of the mother,
1:03:36
and they will raise better children who have a much better chance of like
1:03:39
you know, just not having a really unstable, destructive or violent life.
1:03:45
Like they'll they'll just do better like that, full stop. We know,
1:03:49
father this is a big problem. It's just it's very simple. But the
1:03:53
activists that they're arguing with, whether it's you know, Charlemagne the God and
1:03:58
his like podcast or somebody like a Tarik Nasheed or a Black Lives Matter or
1:04:03
whatever, they never want to talk about the fatherlessness. They never want to
1:04:08
talk about it, like and I know why because they don't want fathers in
1:04:11
the home. BLM had it on their website, you know that they didn't
1:04:15
say we exclude fathers, but instead because you know, if they did that
1:04:18
it would look too bad. So instead they just said, well, look
1:04:21
we what do they say? We reject or we ignore the the you know,
1:04:30
like patriarchal, nuclear family, the prescription, and we want people to
1:04:35
basically want children be raised by villages that are not composed of men, like
1:04:41
women, grand grandparents, grandmothers, you know, no men, no men,
1:04:45
and so but they and they know, I mean, they have to
1:04:49
know on some level that if there were men involved, the children wouldn't turn
1:04:51
out the way they are. But they it's almost like they want to sabotage
1:04:55
it because if they can sabotage it and create a dysfunctional iteration or multiple dysfunctional
1:05:01
generations of children. Girls that are getting pregnant before they're supposed to, boys
1:05:06
that join gangs and deal drugs and both of which they're they're more likely to
1:05:11
get addicted to two things because their their their world is in such disorder.
1:05:15
Their mothers are not involved with them or they're abusing them. And these people
1:05:21
have to know because if I know it, and I don't consider myself a
1:05:25
genius, then they must know it. So this is they're either they're either
1:05:29
morons or they're being intentionally destructive because if they create more and more of this
1:05:34
harm and this, you know, like Thomas soul has talked about this on
1:05:39
his in his books, because I'm I'm reading I've been reading his books,
1:05:43
and he's talked about this. He's done the research going all the way back
1:05:46
to like the you know, the eighteen hundreds, and he was saying that
1:05:50
the Black family was in better shape when they were slaves than they are now,
1:05:55
you know, And I mean, I mean that's obvious. Though it's
1:05:59
obvious, and but they but the thing is, they're not useful. If
1:06:02
they're doing well, there's nothing to complain about. You can't make a billion
1:06:06
dollars. You can't buy all your mansions, you can't go on you know,
1:06:11
MSNBC, if you're Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson, you can't. You
1:06:15
can't grift all these people. So they have to keep them in a state
1:06:18
of disarray, disorder, chaos, and self destruction. And you know,
1:06:24
I just wanted to stop. So the only way we can do that is
1:06:27
we have to take people's eyes off of the skin color thing and look at
1:06:31
the gender dynamic because that's what matters. And the proof of that is is
1:06:35
that if you look at other groups like whites, you know they're they're they're
1:06:40
well on their way to the same outcome because there's also a lot of single
1:06:44
motherhood there in Latino communities, my communities or population, I don't like to
1:06:48
say community. There's also a problem with fatherlessness and it's it's spreading everywhere.
1:06:55
I think the only people that are doing well are the Asians, so I
1:06:59
mean to spite everything. So like I think that that's why I like this
1:07:02
study because it's it's saying what I've been saying, but it's doing it like
1:07:08
with some data, some evidence. But it doesn't surprise me. It's just
1:07:13
something I was really hoping to find to be true because I don't think that
1:07:16
we live. You know, a lot of people in the UK, maybe
1:07:20
in Canada as well, they get this idea about the United States as being
1:07:26
uniquely a racist country. And I gotta tell you, I've lived here for
1:07:31
fifty years and I've never experienced it from whites. Never. Never. I
1:07:36
mean, yeah, you'll see it on TV. You'll see some show or
1:07:40
some movie, and it always made me wonder, like why would that be
1:07:43
the case. But and yet I knew, Like when I was eleven years
1:07:46
old, there was a problem with my classmates that were black, that didn't
1:07:50
know their fathers. I would ask them, where's your dad, and they'd
1:07:54
be like, oh, I don't know my wife. My mom's got a
1:07:56
boyfriend, or or she wouldn't even know as a boyfriend, a guy that
1:08:00
would just be there that they knew, they had a first name basis with.
1:08:02
And I was like, well, that's odd. And I didn't put
1:08:04
that together till much later, obviously because I was eleven. But I mean,
1:08:10
my point is is that it's it's like the only way that we are
1:08:15
going to be able to address issues like that is if we have we have
1:08:18
to stop getting caught up in the conversation that these people want us to be
1:08:27
involved in, which is the skin color conversation or the or the ethnicity conversation.
1:08:30
It's not important if men and women are getting together and they're they're falling
1:08:35
in love and they're forming families, everything's gonna be fine, Like your people
1:08:40
are going to turn out however they're gonna turn out. You're gonna improve.
1:08:44
It's not a guaranteed. There are no guarantees. Everything is trade offs.
1:08:46
But you're gonna improve the situation way way more so that and and so I'm
1:08:53
glad this study exists. It's not black, it's not black communities, not
1:08:58
poor communities. It's followless communities. Yeah, it's followlessness. Yeah, because
1:09:02
there are poor communities. Like when I lived in Chicago, I remember there
1:09:08
was this when I was a kid. There was this Vietnamese I think they
1:09:11
were Vietnamese, and they moved into the neighborhood and they didn't have anything,
1:09:15
like they didn't they didn't have anything but but the boy. Because I was
1:09:19
friends with this boy. You know, he had a father and a mother
1:09:24
that were involved, and they made the most of it. They lived within
1:09:27
their means. I mean I was really poor too, Like at that time,
1:09:29
i'd've been a roach infested apartment. I had to shake roaches out of
1:09:32
my shoes. That's how bad it was every morning. And they didn't even
1:09:35
bother me. I was so used to it. But they did good.
1:09:39
Like eventually you know, he went to college. So because he had he
1:09:43
had both of his parents, they were involved, and you know, he
1:09:46
didn't let this get him down. There was never this like, oh,
1:09:49
look at what those people have, I don't I have that. It must
1:09:53
be oppression. That's literally what feminism is. So I got some super child,
1:10:00
Yes, we do have some super chows. And are we at the
1:10:03
end of the article. Yeah, that's the end of the article. After
1:10:09
the super Chows, we should get into the Twitter exchange over because this is
1:10:14
the dating portion of the show. We used we discussed this article to give
1:10:17
a little bit of context for the next portion of the show. So we
1:10:20
know, no, we now have absolute evidence that our society has a bias
1:10:27
against men, bias against masculinity, dislikes men, dislikes masculinity overtly presents a
1:10:35
narrative of male blame and distrust of masculinity. Okay, I just want I
1:10:42
wanted to this is the context in which we're going to go into the next
1:10:45
part of this discussion, which will then get into the situation of what's going
1:10:48
on with men in the dating sphere. And just just just as an intro
1:10:54
to that, and yeah, let's do the uh let's do the super chows.
1:10:57
Okay, shout out to the Rumble Gang, by the way, what's
1:11:02
up, Rumble Gang, put some cool doges or jojo it gifts in the
1:11:06
chat for me and h Yeah, I just want to give them a shout
1:11:12
out. Follow us over on rumble guys, that's where That's where the cool
1:11:15
people are. And I also wanted to say hello to Ken Spiracy. I
1:11:18
haven't seen you in our live chat in awhile. I hope that you're okay,
1:11:23
and I hope that you will be coming back and hanging out on our
1:11:26
streams. So all right, So I got a super child from Richard Bierre.
1:11:32
He's John Cena, his name is John six, and he says for
1:11:42
five dollars, how much of this becomes justified? The notion that a man
1:11:45
who hasn't faced adversity is untested and his worth is unknown, and therefore the
1:11:50
only way to measure man's true worth is to have him go through adversity.
1:11:55
Something's something gold tested in Fire. An expansion on ray Epps from the News
1:12:00
show is that he may have only been the man in one red Shoe and
1:12:04
nothing more, but if he was contracted or even met any agents. Those
1:12:10
who were watching those particular agents would now be watching and wondering and looking into
1:12:15
just who Ray is versus keeping an eye on the activity of those agents.
1:12:19
All right, well, thank you for that, Richard. I don't know.
1:12:23
I mean, I'm kind of split on the Rayp's thing, but mostly
1:12:26
I think he's a fed. But I'm willing to be proven wrong on that
1:12:30
and I'm not super married to it. So then I got a big old
1:12:35
super child from mister Stupid for thirty dollars and he says, you guys are
1:12:44
truly wonderful. Thanks for all your effort and dedication. I had a question
1:12:48
about the last maintaining frame. Alison explained how somewhat distorted and anti feminist narratives
1:12:54
gained influence as a consequence of feminism refusal who consider men's issues? Since when
1:13:00
do you consider anti feminism to be distorted or wrong? Didn't Karen used to
1:13:04
call herself anti feminist for a pretty long time and maybe would still do so
1:13:10
is there a disagreement between her and Allison on this, let's say label.
1:13:14
I don't know if this fits into today's show, but would be interested to
1:13:17
find out about it. Thank you, guys. So much. Well,
1:13:21
let me put it this way. I think that we need to start recognizing
1:13:27
that there's more than just a feminist. Okay, so we have a table,
1:13:32
right and it's the table discussing gender issues. Right now, the table's
1:13:38
completely dominated by feminism. And in order to really get space for a true
1:13:45
discussion, I think feminism needs its its counterpostulate or counter which, in my
1:13:53
opinion, wouldn't be non feminism. Nonfeminism isn't in opposition to feminism. I'm
1:14:00
I'm not saying that it's not oppositional. I'm saying it's not in opposition.
1:14:04
So what would be in opposition? What would truly be the anti feminist position?
1:14:10
Because feminism has sort of defined anti feminism as any kind of criticism,
1:14:15
But the problem is that that's not sufficient because they allows them to continue to
1:14:20
define the entire landscape of the discussion. And the non feminist position is actually
1:14:29
something I got from an old timer named Feedelbogen, and he emphasized the concept
1:14:34
of nonfeminism as being critical because it creates a space for discussion outside of feminism
1:14:43
that isn't in relation necessarily to feminism, isn't defined in relation to feminism.
1:14:48
It is defined in relation to something else entirely. So the reason why I
1:14:55
propose these three sort of categories is because I think that there should be a
1:15:02
distinction made between people who regard women as oppressing men and that should be considered
1:15:09
the direct opposition of feminism, and then people who simply regard the entire discussion
1:15:15
on gender to be to exist with outside a discussion on oppression. And the
1:15:23
reason why I want to do that is because I think it opens up the
1:15:30
entire philosophical discourse a lot more when you are not constantly at odds with And
1:15:39
it's not that I don't disagree with the feminist appraisal. I mean I do
1:15:44
also disagree with the opposite number. It's just that I feel like that should
1:15:51
be a fight that feminists take up with people, like the real fight that
1:15:56
they should be forced to establish is between not between people who think that oppression
1:16:02
isn't relevant to the relationship between men and women. I think feminists should be
1:16:08
fighting people who think that oppression characterizes the relationship of women towards men, and
1:16:15
and we should get back to that. They're recognizing that feminism has never been
1:16:20
proven. Therefore, why should I be an anti feminist to a concept that
1:16:25
has never been proven in the first place, is what I'm getting at.
1:16:29
It's like, it's like, I'm not a anti flat earther. The concept
1:16:36
has never been proven, you know. It's it's just like, I don't
1:16:42
why should I have to disprove something that's never been proven. Why don't I
1:16:47
just declare my agnosticism to your belief system, is what I'm getting at.
1:16:51
I don't know if that helps. I think we probably should get back on
1:16:55
topics or a mister, It's fine, Yeah, I get it. I
1:16:58
mean, I get so. I just I don't really concern myself with what
1:17:02
to call it, but I just want feminism to go away. But yeah,
1:17:06
so anyway, h do you want to get into the Twitter thing then
1:17:13
something? Oh? Maybe the better way to put this is I want to
1:17:17
declare myself not in opposition to feminists, not because I don't disagree with them,
1:17:21
but because I do not want to be defined by them. So you
1:17:26
know how black defines light, white defines black shadow, light, light defines
1:17:30
shadow. Yeah, I think that whatever I'm talking about is so much bigger
1:17:34
and beyond feminism that it shouldn't be defined in its opposition. Yeah, It's
1:17:40
like, it's like saying that I don't know the uh the modern monetary system
1:17:50
is in opposition to using conche cells as a form of of of of money,
1:17:57
It's like one is so simplistic in sort of primitive and very very very
1:18:02
very simple, like it's it's it's not complex. Feminism is using conch shells
1:18:09
as a form of money. What I'm talking about is something so vastly beyond
1:18:14
that, so more about the future then then they could possibly imagine that.
1:18:21
To to call myself in opposition is just or call what I'm talking about and
1:18:28
what we're talking about here in opposition to feminist is just we're not in opposition
1:18:32
to feminists because there's there's how to explain this. It's just okay, give
1:18:42
me, give me a minute, let's let's move on, and we'll think.
1:18:45
I think they get it. But okay, so I'm gonna look at
1:18:48
this article or this tweet. Alexander at date psych says on this Twitter,
1:18:57
why are so many young men single? Are they excluded? I'm a brutal
1:19:00
mati market by society, probably not. Forty five percent of men eighteen to
1:19:04
twenty five have never approached a woman in person. Yes, and he goes
1:19:12
down and he breaks down, how if men approach women, they have I
1:19:16
guess a fifty percent likelihood of eventually getting set I mean in public, If
1:19:20
they approach women in public, they have like fifty percent of them have sex,
1:19:25
which I'm looking at that, I'm like, well, that's not really
1:19:28
whether or not people have, you know, recreationally touch genitals. Yeah,
1:19:34
yeah, that's not really beneficial to society. Let's be honest. No,
1:19:39
I mean, I'm glad they're enjoying themselves, but recreational sex is not really
1:19:44
where social the social future lies. It's the long term relationships. And according
1:19:51
to his own study, something like maybe sixteen percent of men who approach women
1:19:58
end up in a long term relationship or fourteen percent. I'd like to know
1:20:02
the statistics for men who do not approach women, who don't like just come
1:20:06
up to women and strike up a conversation. I haven't seen it yet.
1:20:11
Again, these statistics are not really they're basically him just asking people and then
1:20:15
studying the results. So it's it's not not really great data, but you
1:20:23
know, it is data. The other thing is that he says that the
1:20:27
reason why men are not approaching women is fear or something, and well,
1:20:32
I read what it says. You sure keep going, all right? So
1:20:40
oh there, I'll share my screen Yeah that would be helpful. Yeah,
1:20:44
I'll share my screen hold on right browser and should go to look at it,
1:20:48
all right, So he says, I'll just read what it says on
1:20:55
the screen shot. A sizeable minority of men are not approaching women at all.
1:20:59
In the entire data set, twenty nine percent of men said they never
1:21:01
approached a woman in person before when he seven percent said it had been more
1:21:06
than a year. This was larger for men in the age eighteen and twenty
1:21:11
five group, forty five percent had never approached a woman in person. This
1:21:15
is again consistent with the hypothesis of a generational risk aversion trend. In Zoomers,
1:21:20
seventeen percent had not approached a woman more than one year. Never and
1:21:26
more than one year are discrete groups. This means that about half of all
1:21:30
single men in my data set are effectively not approaching women for dates in person.
1:21:36
Okay, go ahead, Okay, so these men are significantly more risk
1:21:41
adverse than women. Now, we've just gotten through an article that showed that
1:21:45
basically confirms that we live in a background with background radiation of miss injury.
1:21:50
And then I spoke about the twitter, the tweet that I mentioned. I
1:21:55
asked men, how much negative male messaging do you experience when they became aware
1:22:00
of it? Would They were actually quite shocked, and they just filtered it
1:22:04
out day to day. Now, this negative male messaging, these anti male
1:22:10
beliefs are creating a culture of shame for men. That culture of shame is
1:22:17
going to amplify any risks that they feel that they take in approaching women.
1:22:25
Okay, so this guy can say to scream to the hills. Oh yeah,
1:22:30
you just need to approach women. Just get rid of your fear risk
1:22:32
aversion. Okay, I've had an anxiety disorder. I've had anxiety, like
1:22:40
significant anxiety. People telling you just get over it does not help at all.
1:22:48
Okay. And the honest to god truth is, as long as we
1:22:51
are promoting this society wide attitude of shaming men, an anti male rhetoric,
1:23:00
this risk a version is only going to increase and get worse. It's not
1:23:04
that zoomers are uniquely cowardly. It's that they're probably the most shamed group of
1:23:13
men in human history. Think about it, the most shamed group of men
1:23:18
in human history, and that shame is going to make them make it seem
1:23:25
insurmountable to approach a woman. Not only are they swimming up against the attitudes
1:23:31
that make them feel like they're unworthy of love and unworthy of interest or desire
1:23:38
in order to even approach a woman, those very self same attitudes are going
1:23:43
to make the risk of rejection even more sharp and unpleasant and devastating. I
1:23:49
mean, think about it. I mean, it's one thing. You're a
1:23:53
confident guy. You think you have everything going for you. You've been told
1:23:57
all your life you're the bees knees, and you approach a woman and she
1:24:00
shoots you down and you shake yourself off. Now imagine you are the average
1:24:03
zoomerman who's been told all of his life he's a net drain on society,
1:24:09
his presence oppresses women, and that he is personally undesirable and that masculinity is
1:24:15
toxic. Now imagine him working up the nerve to approach a woman. Yeah,
1:24:21
this fear is only going to get worse, Right, and it's not
1:24:27
just the fear of rejection. As somebody who's been subject to shaming all of
1:24:32
his life. Okay, It's also the fact that women never talk about a
1:24:39
preing approached in positive terms. It's incredibly rare to hear a woman say,
1:24:44
oh, yeah, I feel flattered when men approach me. You know,
1:24:47
I feel like, you know, even if I say no, it's pleasant.
1:24:51
We have a pleasant interaction. You know, I feel like it's a
1:24:55
net benefit for me as a woman to be approached by man. You never
1:24:58
hear that. It's always either a social nuisance or the start of some kind
1:25:04
of uh, almost a little bit delusional predator like narrative of being preyed upon,
1:25:13
like all those TikTok influencers shoving their asses and men's faces and then screeching
1:25:17
about how they took a look, and it's how they're oppressed by it,
1:25:21
you know what I mean. So the way that women generally characterize being approached
1:25:28
is negative, is really negative, and it grows. It runs the negative
1:25:31
spectrum from oh, it's a social inconvenience, this guy's creepy, I don't
1:25:39
like him, get out of my space, to oh my god, I
1:25:42
feel like I'm about to be raped. Now. Any young man who's pro
1:25:45
social or conscientious, why would he inflict an unpleasant experience? On women.
1:25:54
Okay, you're you're asked, you're you're telling these men, he's telling these
1:25:58
zoomer men. Okay, your masculinity is toxic, you're a net negative to
1:26:03
society, You're undesirable. Any relationship with you is a drain on women.
1:26:10
You know, you're creepy, generally creepy, and you're a man, so
1:26:14
you're sort of gross. Now, go go risk rejection with that woman.
1:26:17
Go go go engage that woman and give her an unpleasant experience which could be
1:26:24
potentially harmful to her. And they're guys opting out of that. Really,
1:26:29
what a freaking surprise. Like just from oh wow, go up to that
1:26:35
woman and give her an unpleasant experience. Just from that, you're going to
1:26:39
get a huge portion of men and being like no, like just from that,
1:26:45
and the more women talk about how being approached is either unpleasant to terrifying,
1:26:50
the more men are going to opt out of it. And the more
1:26:54
we shame men, the less likely they're going to take these risks. So
1:26:59
that numbers. It's gonna get worse and worse and worse and worse and worse.
1:27:02
And it doesn't matter that this guy's being like this particular man is all
1:27:05
about, oh, men need to man up and just do it anyway.
1:27:10
Yeah, that doesn't help. Okay, even if you're dealing with guys who
1:27:14
have an irrational fear of approaching women, which I don't think it's that irrational
1:27:18
at this point, but whatever, even if they have an irrational fear,
1:27:23
Nobody overcame an anxiety by having people tell them why I just just man up?
1:27:30
That's the least. That is the stupidest way. It's absolutely overcoming an
1:27:36
anxiety is well above your pay grade, sir, So shut up about that.
1:27:41
So when you're dealing with if you're not dealing with the men who have
1:27:45
active anxiety disorders around this issue, which is well above this man's pay grade
1:27:48
and he should not be even touching that, then you're just dealing with the
1:27:53
guys who are like, well, why would I give a woman an unpleasant
1:27:55
experience and risk rejection in the process, Like what, it's not even what's
1:28:00
in it for me? What is what's in it for anybody? Including the
1:28:03
woman? Yeah? You know, And and we have to change this messaging
1:28:14
or this is just going to get worse, and it's like nobody wants to
1:28:18
do this, Like this is what makes sense pretty unique. I think even
1:28:20
among men's rights activists. It's like, yes, there's a point at which
1:28:25
we can't expect men to absorb more because what we're expecting them to absorb is
1:28:30
incomprehensible. Like, yes, men can absorb a lot of damage. They
1:28:33
can fight a war. They can build an underground tunnel even though it's you
1:28:39
know, their mates are dying in the process. They can build a They
1:28:44
can deal with all the pressures of sanitation work, all the pressures of of
1:28:49
of drilling, all of that. They can do all of that, and
1:28:53
they do it well, you know, hand big hand for men. Excellent
1:28:58
job keeping society of float, dealing with war, dealing with the problem like
1:29:02
all of the pains of managing our infrastructure and everything else. But there's one
1:29:08
thing that men seem to have a problem with, presenting friede ice like they
1:29:16
just fried ice, making ice, creating le lit darkness, you know,
1:29:28
creating a filled void. You know, they have they have problems with being
1:29:33
both right and left, and not even like in terms of the in terms
1:29:38
of the politics, but going right and left at the same time. They
1:29:41
have problems with jumping up and hovering. You know, they have problems with
1:29:45
these these things that are impossible to do. What a surprise, Well,
1:29:53
social men have a problem with creating unpleasant scenarios for women. Isn't that what
1:30:00
you want? Like, seriously, isn't that what we want? We want
1:30:04
men to be concerned about the situation for women, so that when we say
1:30:11
society is constructed for the benefit of men at the expense of women, what
1:30:15
do we want from men from that? Like all of this messaging is incomprehensible,
1:30:20
self contradictory, profoundly stupid, and impossible to follow. And men aren't.
1:30:30
Why well, because while men can you fight wars, they can keep
1:30:35
our infrastructure running, they can face all kinds of difficulties. They can't make
1:30:43
fried ice. And when our society asks for fried ice, men can't do
1:30:49
it. And it's not their fault. And yet we are at the point
1:30:57
where we are asking for incomprehensible, self contradictory bullshit from men. We're at
1:31:03
that point, and we're blaming them for being like, ah, well,
1:31:12
how and then just shutting down like this is literally our society is that the
1:31:17
state of absolute abusive behavior towards men, and they're shutting down as a result.
1:31:24
What a surprise. But let's blame them some more. Huh, let's
1:31:27
blame them some more. Come on. I mean, if we blame men
1:31:30
hard enough, I'm sure they can create fried ice for us. Yeah,
1:31:38
good god, all right, anyway, that's what I wanted to say.
1:31:43
You may say something sorry, Oh no, it's fine. I'm I think
1:31:45
you've said it pretty much. Everything should do it? Am I doing anything
1:31:51
else with this? Or is this all you wanted to say about this Twitter
1:31:55
thread? I guess we could look a little bit more. I mean,
1:32:02
this guy calls it a white pill. Okay. So Alexanders says these men
1:32:09
are significantly more risk averse than those men who do approach women. I think
1:32:14
that's should be I guess obvious risk averse from who verse or who? Well,
1:32:19
it just says these men are significantly more risk averse than those men who
1:32:24
do approach women risk averse for themselves. I think, yeah, a risk
1:32:30
conversion also correlates with sociopathy, so this is probably not. Then he says,
1:32:36
this is actually a white pill. It isn't the powerful forces of society
1:32:40
at lars that explain young male single dumb. It's much more mundane. Young
1:32:45
men are simply not trying. Okay, just try Bro, Yeah, just
1:32:50
try Bro. Like okay, but here, this is why I got into
1:32:55
that whole thing. Like if this is if this is an anxiety disorder,
1:32:59
it's well about of Alex what's his name, Alex's paygrade to deal with And
1:33:04
if it's not, then we're talking about men who are responding to an external
1:33:10
circumstance. That is real women do not present the idea that being approached is
1:33:15
a positive interaction. Yea, So why would men sign on to creating negative
1:33:21
interactions for women? You know? I mean they don't even present it as
1:33:26
a newtrol to be honest. Okay, keep going. In a recent survey,
1:33:31
we ask a recent survey, we asked about locus of control and dating
1:33:35
difficulties. Locus of control describes a degree to which you feel you have agency
1:33:41
and control over your life. Internal locus of control is high agency, high
1:33:45
control. External locus of control is low agency. Things just happen to you.
1:33:48
It's what feminism is based on. External locus of control. Right,
1:33:53
women are just leaves on the wind. Across all the dating difficulty items,
1:33:58
people with the higher ex a locus of control reported more difficulty with dating go
1:34:04
ahead because our individual dispositions, beliefs, and attitudes that So it's just your
1:34:09
problem, bro, Yeah, just you're not you're not gaming enough hard enough.
1:34:15
Okay, all across all dating difficulties. So the low is this correlation
1:34:19
or causation? Does the low uh locus of control? Is that because they
1:34:29
is that we're causing the dating difficulties or is that a result of the dating
1:34:33
difficulties? Okay, I don't know. Good question, And the honest to
1:34:41
God truth is that I can point out that these are there. There there's
1:34:46
a lot of negative male messaging in our society which will inevitably result in shame
1:34:53
and likely much more not even compared to women, but just compared to what
1:35:00
men would be without this level of shaming, negative mental health outcomes, without
1:35:05
appealing to an external locus of control. Because when men recognize the level of
1:35:13
shaming that goes on towards men, you can take an active role in reducing
1:35:18
the amount of miss injury in your life. Okay, So if you are
1:35:24
a man who's having difficulty interacting with women because you feel very ashamed, you
1:35:31
can start purging that from your life right and see if that helps reduce your
1:35:39
risk aversion as opposed to what is this guy offering here? What what way
1:35:45
forward to men with a high risk aversion when it comes to approaching women?
1:35:50
How is what is the solution to that he's offering these men? Is there
1:35:56
anything any steps that they can take to Oh? Oh yeah, that's right.
1:36:00
Okay, now sing your risk adverse? Therefore, yeah, it's your
1:36:04
own fault. There's a lot out of your career if there's a lot of
1:36:10
your control. But at the end of the day, one thing is clear.
1:36:15
If you're afraid to talk to women, you're not going to meet very
1:36:16
many women. Women are not just going to fall into your lap. That
1:36:20
sounds like a male feminist thing too, what he's saying and before oh is
1:36:25
he okay? Well I thought this was like a dating coach type guy or
1:36:28
something, But yeah, what there isn't much different difference? There's there.
1:36:31
And before we look for the systemic roots of modern dating woes, we should
1:36:35
look at individual behavior. The amount of men who simply are not trying,
1:36:39
who believe everything is out of their control, seems to explain a lot of
1:36:43
it. Well wait, wait a minute, though, but what like what
1:36:48
do men have control over? Because we're not exactly in a climate that is
1:36:55
like you know, comfortable with men approaching women if they don't want to be
1:36:59
a approached. So you know, like what that is that in men's control?
1:37:04
Like when if a woman finds like, you know, goes crazy and
1:37:10
calls him a stalker or something, is that is that in his control?
1:37:15
Is there just like a right way to do it? Is it? Apparently
1:37:17
down down left, right, left, right, be a start to like
1:37:20
get the girl to respond not crazy, Yeah, I mean, And that's
1:37:25
the other thing, Like this presumes that women are there are no bad actors
1:37:29
among women. There're no there's no, there's no. And also like among
1:37:34
young women, there isn't any kind of goating to act like a shit heel,
1:37:39
Like honestly I've seen it. Yeah, like, uh, you people
1:37:45
are psychos until you know they're at least they're early twenties. So you'll get
1:37:51
boys goating each other into acting badly, and you'll get girls goating each other
1:37:56
acting badly. So that's a factor, you know, and if you if
1:38:00
you screw up your approach, it's it's like a lot of men were mentioning
1:38:06
how they you know, they they got shot down and then the woman went
1:38:11
back to her friend group and they were laughing at him all night. It's
1:38:15
like, well, what about that? That's extremely unpleasant. And there's a
1:38:19
whole like cottage industry on TikTok that's really about shaming men for even looking at
1:38:26
women, much less approaching them. Oh, he's fair, he's fair.
1:38:30
Like. All of this is going to have an effect, and the guys
1:38:33
who are more risk adverse, or more conscientious perhaps and less wanting to have
1:38:40
to cause any kind of offense are going to avoid approaching women more and more
1:38:46
because of this cultural attitude. And you can't tell them men who've had this
1:38:55
bad experience and now have anxiety over it, Oh, just try harder.
1:39:00
Okay, it's not how anxiety works. Alexander I think is his name.
1:39:05
Yeah, it's not how anxiety works. Friend, all right, all right.
1:39:11
And if you're expecting men to keep picking up the slack for women,
1:39:16
in some cases, they just can't. They can't. Like, if women
1:39:21
present something as unpleasant as unpleasant to endure, approaches are unpleasant to endure,
1:39:28
those guys who are pro social are going to start avoiding doing it because that's
1:39:32
what they're being asked to do. Okay, stop making women uncomfortable, stop
1:39:38
approaching them. Okay, I don't want to be rude. I'm a conscientious
1:39:44
man. I'm going to stop doing that, so you know, to put
1:39:48
this on men's doorstep. No, what's happened since this generation, in the
1:39:54
next generation that's made zoomers so risk advert what's different? I know, why
1:40:00
aren't you asking? You're just you're You're like, I don't see like how
1:40:03
this guy thinks he's doing something brand new. It's not okay, let's keep
1:40:11
going. All right, all right, some people will read this and say,
1:40:15
but I'm in the bottom one percent of men, and I have approached
1:40:17
a thousand women. No bites. Okay, you're a special case, but
1:40:20
your situation is not why fifty percent of boomers are single. Well, but
1:40:27
maybe it's not that, Like, like, I what is this? This
1:40:30
is risk averseness? Right? Are you measuring women's like women's preferences? Are
1:40:36
you measuring women's like zoomer women like what they're looking for? Because it looks
1:40:41
to me based on what I'm seeing that I actually I'm Alice, I'm kind
1:40:47
of echoing on your end. I'm sorry a little bit. I don't know
1:40:50
what that's about. But it looks like a women are zoomer. Women are
1:40:59
make uh, they're they're very picky. They're pickier than women in the past
1:41:02
have ever been, and no one wants to acknowledge it. Like they're acting
1:41:08
like men are failing because they're failures and not because you know, women are
1:41:13
like not not only because we live in a in a in a climate that
1:41:17
is openly hostile to men and masculinity, but we've also basically propagandized women in
1:41:24
the thinking that they're deserving of like the top one percent of men or the
1:41:28
top one percent of the top one percent of men, and that's how you
1:41:31
get these kind of you know, Hugh Hefner situations, which is like what's
1:41:36
going on right now, and those guys at the top, they're not going
1:41:40
to commit to one person if they can like have like a dozen women.
1:41:43
So and then these women, you know, like I mean, I'm sorry,
1:41:47
but like people like Laurence Southern has said, you know, like there's
1:41:53
too much like dum dumer porn on on Twitter and social media is like unhealthy
1:41:59
because it gives men like an unfair you know, look at the state of
1:42:05
dating and women. But I don't think it's really that far off. I
1:42:10
don't think it is. I don't think that the whatever podcast women are abnormal.
1:42:15
I think that's probably close to normal. When I was subbing in I
1:42:20
was subbing last year or the year before, I can't remember. I worked
1:42:25
in a middle school, high school, and grammar school. And obviously in
1:42:29
grammar school, those girls weren't really thinking about men but or boys. But
1:42:32
like in middle school and in high school, those girls were constantly on TikTok,
1:42:40
making you know, duck face pictures, not doing photos. I had
1:42:44
to take their phones from them, like it was it was really really bad.
1:42:47
But they were stay normalized it. They were talking about who they were
1:42:50
going to sleep with and who they're talking to. This is like twelve year
1:42:54
old girls. And this neighborhood is not ghetto like. This is like,
1:42:58
you know, a normal I would say, like a lower class area,
1:43:01
but not you know, it's it's it's not like, uh, it's not
1:43:04
like the hood, right. So I think that promiscuity is very, very
1:43:11
high in zoomers, and if that is the thing that we value, women
1:43:15
are going to have easier access and so they're going to take advantage of it.
1:43:18
But they're also going to be looking for the top guys, and they're
1:43:21
probably gonna get used because those top guys find that they have so many options.
1:43:25
The whole thing is dysfunctional. So like you know, when when people
1:43:30
like Laurence Southern or Matt Wals who did a video where he was saying,
1:43:34
you know, well, I know it's hard, but you know it's worth
1:43:38
it, like about marriage or something, the dude, you're you're all you
1:43:41
guys can do is tell the men to man up or stop like talk to
1:43:45
the women. Try it. I've been saying this since I started doing this
1:43:48
to feminists when they talk about like, you know what men need to do,
1:43:54
and it's like, well, what do the women tell the women what
1:43:57
they should do? I dare you to tell the women what they should do,
1:44:00
they will lose their shit. That's why I like what Pearl does,
1:44:02
because she does tell women what they should do. That's why. Yeah,
1:44:08
because I mean, I'm not saying that people should be bossed around, but
1:44:11
I'm saying, like all I ever hear is guys do this and and like
1:44:15
they're you know, like guys don't like it's too risky. Like if a
1:44:18
guy approaches a girl, she can get them beat up by you know,
1:44:23
boys that are around, or or picked up grabbed by cops or something like
1:44:27
why wouldn't you do that? I mean, it's not even you know what.
1:44:30
I honestly think that if we actually talk to men and we actually pose
1:44:34
the right questions, we find that a substantial number of those men just don't
1:44:38
want to approach women because they're convinced that it's an uncomfortable it's putting uncomfortable,
1:44:43
it's in women into an uncomfortable experience, and they don't want to do it
1:44:46
because they've been told all their lives that approaching women is harmful to them.
1:44:49
It's objectifying, it's denying their deep they're deep, powerful, passionate woman's souls
1:44:58
somehow, you know. It's just it's it's nasty business. And they're like,
1:45:01
well, if i'm I don't want to risk rejection and cause somebody's discomfort.
1:45:06
Like people seem to underestimate how much men care about women, right,
1:45:14
and they do not want women to be harmed. This is this is this
1:45:18
is one of the big problems with the narrative of our society is that we
1:45:23
produce these really dysfunctional contradictory narratives because we are convinced ourselves that men don't care
1:45:29
about women. But when you understand that men care about women, you understand
1:45:33
that men are going to stop approaching women simply because they think that it harms
1:45:39
women to approach them. All right, This is something that I've seen consistently
1:45:43
with men, and not all men. There are some men who do have
1:45:45
that external locus of control and are extremely i don't know, uh like sort
1:45:55
of entitled, but also victimy. But that's something that's, you know,
1:45:58
the society encourages. But there's a lot of men who simply would stop approaching
1:46:01
women because they thought that they're causing them harm. Period. And I bet
1:46:05
that that Alex's Alexander's statistic includes that that amount of men and no amount of
1:46:13
saying to these men, oh while just man up is going to make them
1:46:16
want to give women an unpleasant experience because that's not what it's about. It's
1:46:23
not about them being cowards. It's about them being conscientious and pro social,
1:46:30
okay, And how do you do how do you deal with that? How
1:46:32
do you get to those men? And I bet that even on a subconscious
1:46:35
level, there are a lot of men who even say, oh, I
1:46:39
don't want to approach women because I don't want to risk rejection. Well,
1:46:43
that's also a pro social thing. He doesn't want to be humiliated. Well
1:46:46
that's that's a recognition of the power of women's opinion on his identity. Okay,
1:46:54
Well, how do you get a man to let go of the power
1:46:57
of women's influence on his identity? What kind of men at the end of
1:47:00
the day, what kind of men are you actually encouraging? Men who are
1:47:04
unafraid of the power of women's because they they don't women don't have power over
1:47:10
their identity. Men who are unafraid of giving women an unpleasant experience. They
1:47:15
don't care. Okay, what kind of men are those? Right? If
1:47:17
they If you want men to adjust to this particular landscape, you are selecting
1:47:23
for sociopaths. Ye, period, And unless you want to change the landscape
1:47:30
and the and the obstacle course, you are this particular landscape and this particular
1:47:36
obstacle course is selecting so for sociopaths, men who don't care that they're causing
1:47:42
women to have unpleasant experiences and don't care about their opinion. All right,
1:47:45
that's what you're selecting for. Is that really what you want to be selecting
1:47:49
for or do you actually want to address what's happening? And the kind of
1:47:55
obstacle course that women are constructing, which is really hilarious because women are like,
1:47:59
Okay, I'm going to create a co obstacle of course that is going
1:48:01
to select for sociopath. And then when I get a sociopath, I'm going
1:48:05
to complain about it that it's all men. Okay, really, because I
1:48:12
do you see the problem here, and then you blame it on men,
1:48:15
which is more of the fried ice, Like, seriously, you are selecting
1:48:19
for men who do not care about your opinion and who do not care that
1:48:25
they're making you uncomfortable. That's who you're selecting for, ladies. And then
1:48:30
whoop, what a surprise. You've walked up to the vending machine of men
1:48:33
selected for sociopath and you have received a sociopath. Oh okay, there you
1:48:41
go, and like and Alexander doesn't even want to even begin the conversation about
1:48:45
that, like, not not even begin it, you know, keep going,
1:48:51
keep going what he has to say for men who are so called risk
1:48:56
adverse? All right, but first I got a super chat and the super
1:49:00
chat from Alex's lawn Care for ten dollars. Thank you Alice Alex's lawn Care
1:49:08
and says how to handle father's focus on women over accountability for daughters. Sisters
1:49:14
couldn't relate due to my unmarried status. Now blame me for respecting their wishes.
1:49:19
Thank you Alex's lawn Care. Thank you, and congratulations for the first
1:49:24
super chat. Apparently YouTube wants me to congratulate you, so congratulations and congratulate
1:49:30
chat. We had plenty of super chats like this is super chats, but
1:49:33
this is this person's first super Oh okay, he gave it to congratulations a
1:49:41
Alex's lawn Care. I probably should do another shout out because the sport has
1:49:46
like slackened all right, So again, like, I honestly think that we
1:49:53
approached this in a very unique way. Like I said, I do,
1:49:57
I don't agree with Pearl and everything. I think that the whole purse Pierce
1:50:01
Brosnan and his wife just leave them alone. They're happy. Let's they've obviously
1:50:05
done something right. Since they haven't, they haven't cratered like a lot of
1:50:10
Hollywood marriages. But but on the other hand, you know, like it
1:50:15
is good to see somebody not being afraid of pissing off women. Well,
1:50:20
yeah, yeah, I agree. I mean, yeah, it's you can
1:50:25
you can do that without necessarily agree with everything that they've done. Yeah,
1:50:29
we're all mature enough to know that. Yeah. But yeah, And also,
1:50:33
like, honestly, I think that we need this approach, And I
1:50:40
don't think that we're buying into this external locus of control, but recognizing the
1:50:45
actual situation that we're dealing with and then accommodating it or developing workarounds or managing
1:50:50
it. Like for me, if you're a guy out there who's risk adverse,
1:50:55
like maybe this is a bit of a white pill, you might be
1:50:57
able to get. It does seem a little like the statistics still seem a
1:51:01
little bit dire, Like I'm not, honestly, I'm not going to include
1:51:05
you know, being able to get at genital handshake as as some kind of
1:51:10
romantic success. But and even after a year of approaching women only fourteen percent
1:51:15
or in some kind of relationship, well you know, I guess after about
1:51:19
seven years you might might possibly be in a relationship after approaching women for that
1:51:24
long or in jail. But so I I don't Okay, forget that.
1:51:29
That was just a joke, all right, So you know it's a bit
1:51:32
of a white pill. If you can overcome your risk ad version, then
1:51:36
you might have a much better chance. And if you honestly like, uh,
1:51:44
you know what before I get into that, why don't we finish off
1:51:46
Alex's advice. So let's see more of you will read this? Yeah,
1:51:56
more of it. You will read this, And no, that's me.
1:51:58
I haven't asked an on a date in a year. That's totally in your
1:52:01
control and maybe hard or frightening, but it's a choice. Let me check,
1:52:08
haven't asked. Incidentally, that's pretty close to the number that it's unemployed.
1:52:12
But let's let's not Yeah, yeah, maybe maybe that has something to
1:52:15
do with it. I mean that's the thing too, Like, you know,
1:52:18
I should get a bunch of videos you can find them all over the
1:52:21
internet of people on the street asking women how much money do you think,
1:52:27
like you know, a man should make. And these are like young women,
1:52:30
like in their early twenties, right, and they're expecting men Like the
1:52:33
guy says, I remember one where he was like, hey, if a
1:52:38
man makes seventy five K a year, would you date him, and she
1:52:41
laughed like she thought it was like she thought, are you joking? Like
1:52:45
that's ridiculous? Do you know? Seventy five grand a year? And she
1:52:49
lasts fantastic, Yeah, it's amazing, Like I like, that's ridiculous.
1:52:55
That is that is that is a great salary, you know, And if
1:52:59
you are for RGAL you can have a really good life on seventy five thousand
1:53:02
a year. That's I wouldn't turn my nose up in a man it makes
1:53:06
seventy five thousand, you know, not that I'm on the market though,
1:53:13
So yeah, yeah, that would have just been like, you know,
1:53:16
it kind of it kind of shows though, like shallowness and the shallowness yeah,
1:53:21
but also like the like what the average young woman is willing to spend,
1:53:29
like basically it speaks to their frugalness. Is that a thing? Yeah?
1:53:33
Yeah, So okay, I probably should have done the shout out.
1:53:38
So please please please go to feed the badget dot com slash support to make
1:53:41
sure we can keep doing these shows. Sorry, there wasn't a lot of
1:53:43
preamble to that particular one. I went on on digression. My brain doesn't
1:53:47
my brain is not very linear, shall we say I have a non linear
1:53:51
brain. But anyway, if you want to make sure that these shows keep
1:53:56
coming, please go to feed the badgeer dot com slash report. We really
1:53:58
do need you to do that, because otherwise we are you know, wake
1:54:01
up one morning and you won't hear my dulcet tones or Brian like, I
1:54:09
don't know if I want to call it Dulcett, I don't know. Chicago,
1:54:12
We'll take yeah, Chicago, Chicago. Okay, just imagine that that
1:54:20
would be horrible. So make sure that doesn't happen, that we don't disappear.
1:54:24
Feed the Badger dot com slash support. Go there and do it.
1:54:27
Do it all right, So let's finish off his advice to men who are
1:54:31
risked first. This is this is where we go into what should men actually
1:54:36
do? I think, yeah, this guy's not like I don't know how
1:54:40
old he is, but he's not connected to reality. So anyway, let
1:54:42
me text this on here. I'm saying like, no, you're not wrong,
1:54:46
you're not wrong, it's just that you just go right for the jugular.
1:54:49
I'm just like, yeah, this guy's just no, he doesn't live
1:54:51
in reality. Like I talked to people all the time. You think like
1:54:57
basically Alexander would tell me, Oh, all of your friends are loser,
1:55:00
like all of them. It no, it's stupid, like you're you're you
1:55:02
don't you you're only Look. This is another one of these things, you
1:55:06
know, how you say you can't really discuss any issues that are gender related
1:55:13
without looking at both sides, like you're looking at the other side, right,
1:55:15
so you know, if you're talking about for example, if you're talking
1:55:17
about Islam and you want to say, oh, this is how bad the
1:55:19
women have it, you can't make that claim if you don't know, like
1:55:24
what the situation is for men. This is this is that in reverse,
1:55:29
if there's a problem with dating or pair bonding and you're only talking to the
1:55:32
men but you don't know what it is, you just assume that the women
1:55:35
are just like they don't make choices, they don't have opinions, they don't
1:55:39
have standards, they're just waiting for a guy to come along and ask them
1:55:43
out, and that it just does not exist, Like it just does not.
1:55:46
And not only do women have standards, which of course they should,
1:55:50
but they have like really high standards, and many have really unreasonable standards,
1:55:56
like beyond the scope and I think that I don't want to say it's because
1:56:00
of social media, but I do think it's because of our culture, which
1:56:05
is like lifting women up constantly in an artificial way to give them this like
1:56:12
insane sense of entitlement, essentially that they feel entitled to the best men.
1:56:17
And this guy doesn't. He doesn't seem to think that that's a thing,
1:56:20
or he's not even taking that into consideration. But to be fair, I
1:56:24
haven't read the whole thread yet, so maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he's gonna
1:56:28
he's gonna blast, he's gonna blow me the fuck out later. But let's
1:56:30
see. Uh, no one is going to coddle you in dating. You
1:56:34
want someone to hold your hand while you talk to women, external locus of
1:56:39
control. Why doesn't someone help me go to a bar, dancing hobby,
1:56:43
talk to the cute girl in your class. But it's on you? Okay?
1:56:47
Well this is in response to Basil. Yeah, Basil, I'm an
1:56:51
Instagram model. You're bum faulty. What an empathetic response if true? Well,
1:56:59
if true, why not help these guys? Because when women have a
1:57:01
problem, at the end of the world, resources are marshaled. When men
1:57:03
have a problem, it's buck up, buddy, men are expendable exactly,
1:57:08
and he's just okaying, what, oh, well that's just true then,
1:57:12
yes, okay, Alexander, Alexander, all right, here's here's the problem.
1:57:16
Men now are facing a narrative in which they are accused of having a
1:57:20
society that benefits them at expensive women, that constructs a head of resentment that's
1:57:26
unbelievable in women. Okay, so if you want to say man up,
1:57:30
fine, but let's admit that our society runs on man up and men being
1:57:35
expendable and men not helping men, and it is not a society that benefits
1:57:40
How does a feminist saying this shit? Like seriously? Yeah, yeah,
1:57:45
you know he is a feminist. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. So this
1:57:48
guy believes that we live in a society that benefits men at the expensive women
1:57:53
and says, no, nobody's gonna call you bro. Okay, which is
1:57:58
it? Friend? What an incin assistant? Dufus? He's got a man
1:58:01
bun? I think that just makes him automathea squality. Where's the guy that's
1:58:04
been that got arrested for cutting man buns? Look at this? We need
1:58:08
him? Oh this is like? So is that real? This looks like
1:58:13
stock photography of a douche bag, Like, oh good lord, God,
1:58:18
oh god, I'm having like a visceral reaction to that. In this climate,
1:58:25
male daily date guys like dating coaches or whatever, are all but completely
1:58:30
useless if they're not talking about the female half of the equation. Just yeah,
1:58:35
it's like, and I know this is depressing, this is freaking depressing,
1:58:40
but it like there is a point at which men cannot absorb anymore,
1:58:45
they cannot make fried ice. Like we've literally constructed a scenario where we sit
1:58:49
girls down, you know, like Clockwork Orange, You know that scene where
1:58:54
he's got his eye eyelids crewed open. That's what we're doing to girls.
1:58:59
We're like, we girls down, and we say, we're gonna show you
1:59:01
how bad men and boys are. We're gonna show you why you should never
1:59:05
want to speak have them speak to you. We're gonna show you what wretched
1:59:11
creatures there are, and we're gonna brainwash you into hating them. And then
1:59:15
we're like, oh, yeah, guys, why can't you get this girl
1:59:16
to like you? Oh? Could we stop? Like the Clockwork Orange?
1:59:23
Can you know, have lobby and conditioning of women and girls to hate men.
1:59:28
I guess they're scared of them or resent them. I'm sorry we didn't
1:59:33
answer Alice's long Care's question. He did say, I guess it was weirdly
1:59:38
worded, but he says, how to handle father's focus on women over accountability
1:59:42
for daughters, Well, honestly, fathers are better and like the women who
1:59:49
have fathers in their lives are not as bad as anyone else, So this
1:59:54
might be a more minor issue. But yeah, father's tend to so I
1:59:59
see what you're saying. So like father's not holding their daughters accountable because they're
2:00:04
women. Is that what you mean by that, Alex's long Care. I
2:00:09
mean, if that happens, that means that that father is kind of like
2:00:13
a white knight. He's like a one good man and he's to like or
2:00:15
he doesn't know how to handle it. I think that a lot of men
2:00:19
today don't know how to handle women that are you know, that are engaging
2:00:26
in bad behavior, you know what I mean, And and so they'll hope
2:00:30
that another woman will do it, and maybe other women should be doing it,
2:00:32
but yeah, they definitely should be like your daughters, and your daughters
2:00:38
are getting get off of this guy. Yes, please, you're not well,
2:00:42
you don't want to date him. He's clearly datable because that's what he
2:00:45
does for a living. I don't like men with bullshit in their heads anyway,
2:00:54
honestly, yeah, I And honestly I often judge men by how well
2:00:58
they treat other men. This guy does not creat other men well. And
2:01:05
the issue like, like, how much of this is these guys are unemployed.
2:01:10
How much is they are recognized that Maybe they're overweight or considered unattractive to
2:01:15
women, Maybe they have social anxieties. Maybe they're just having an unconscious response
2:01:20
to the level of shaming, Like when you shame people, it makes it
2:01:25
more difficult for them to handle rejection. So my advice would be to start
2:01:30
looking at sources of shame in your life and getting rid of them. As
2:01:32
a man, if you're having this instead of if you're having an adversion to
2:01:38
talking to women, instead of beating yourself up about it, maybe look at
2:01:43
the contributing factors and start managing your mental landscape like a Greek philosopher. Start
2:01:49
removing the things that aren't helpful to you. Don't listen to this guy,
2:01:54
by the way, you know, Alexander might be the first thing you want
2:01:57
to remove from your landscape. Just just saying, but just start removing the
2:02:02
things that are shaming, you know. Start, don't don't daydream in public.
2:02:09
Make sure that your mind is always occupied when you're in any kind of
2:02:12
public space, because if you're daydreaming or if you're not consciously aware, you're
2:02:16
going to be imbibing shaming statements from advertising and from like news and government PSAs
2:02:25
and if you are like, one way of approaching making sure you don't internalize
2:02:30
this stuff is make sure you note it. Get bring a journal, start
2:02:34
writing it down, and start saying in opposition every shaming statement. Allison says
2:02:41
that I as a man and I'm not. Just don't say that, but
2:02:43
you know, like just say something more positive, Like if you see a
2:02:46
shaming statement, say that the state that's statistic that actually all all this many
2:02:51
men are women are afraid of you. Don't bring up the statistic in your
2:02:56
mind. No wait, actually this is true. No wait, actually this
2:03:00
is what's true. This is what's true. Start being aware of the misentry
2:03:03
and start opposing it in your mind. To combat the shaming, don't let
2:03:08
yourself saturate in it passively. Be active, you know, and then start
2:03:13
start doing things like reading literature from history to understand what people were like in
2:03:19
the past and the power that women had. Okay, so actively combat the
2:03:25
shaming. That's one thing I would do if you feel like your risk adverse
2:03:29
to actually approaching women. Yeah, combat the shaming. Recognize that it's not
2:03:35
actually harmful for you to hold women account. This is something that women need
2:03:41
to develop a sense of self. They need that guilt to develop themselves as
2:03:45
agents. We deprive them of it, and it's actually sort of a net
2:03:49
negative for women. So these are the kinds of things like clean up your
2:03:55
mental hygiene, clean up your mental landscape. I don't know what this guy
2:03:58
is offering. Guy, aside from oh, it's just your own fault.
2:04:02
I think that that makes him feel better. Dan, you know what,
2:04:08
fuck it, don't pay him, listen to us for free, and then
2:04:12
help us out so that we can continue to do this work. But you
2:04:15
know, it's like this is this is what I would do as somebody who
2:04:18
had to face a crippling anxiety disorder. You know, I was living in
2:04:24
my I couldn't leave my house without huge panic attacks. So I was starting
2:04:29
to constrain my movements. You know, as somebody who has experienced that,
2:04:33
you can't just browbeat yourself into becoming less risk adverse. You have to start
2:04:41
addressing how you're talking to yourself before you get into these situations. And how
2:04:45
you're talking to self is also not that's not just where it starts. How
2:04:49
other people are talking to you, how how you are being, how things
2:04:54
are coming into your head, and start getting rid of the stuff that isn't
2:04:59
helpful, dialing back on the people that are harmful to you, you know,
2:05:03
taking an active approach to recognizing that your mental hygiene. You know,
2:05:09
it's your responsibility to decide what you internalize. And if you are not aware
2:05:15
of the missengury that you that surrounds you, you're probably internalizing it. You're
2:05:19
probably internalizing it as normal and it's not normal. And it's not a situation
2:05:24
where you're like, oh wah, while if they affects me, then then
2:05:27
i'm unlesser ment. Of course it's affecting men. Why do you think all
2:05:30
of these guys who shoot themselves, you know, like, I'm gonna be
2:05:34
a bit of an asshole here, but a lot of these guys who commit
2:05:38
suicide a month before then probably would have been like Alexander, here, ah,
2:05:43
men are blah blah. No, this stuff hurts men and it is
2:05:48
not makes doesn't make you lesser. To say, yeah, this Missengury is
2:05:53
hurting me. It doesn't make you lesser, doesn't make you have an external
2:05:56
locus of control to recognize when something hurts you. What gives you an external
2:06:01
locus of control is when you don't take responsibility for reducing that influence on your
2:06:06
life. That's it, okay, And you can you can act, take
2:06:12
the active assign yourself the active task to oppose mysentry in your life, to
2:06:16
oppose the shaming, and I think you'll find that your risk aversion if you
2:06:20
want to approach women goes down right. And like I said, you cannot
2:06:27
you cannot shame yourself out of an anxiety disorder because usually anxiety disorders have a
2:06:33
kernel of shame to begin with. All right, yeah, okay, And
2:06:40
again I think that anxiety disorders are well above Alexander's pay grade. And I
2:06:45
also think that he offers nothing of benefit, at least publicly. In fact,
2:06:50
I think that he's actually encouraging an external locus of control because he's presenting
2:06:57
this issue and saying it's your fault without blaming how and uh and then i'm
2:07:02
anything. He's basically was shaming man, which is which is again external locus
2:07:10
of control. Your identity is outside of your control. Yeah, it is
2:07:14
outside of your control. I control it. And uh yeah, by my,
2:07:18
by my ut my dating class, you know, nine nine dollars special,
2:07:28
you know, like fuck this all right, all right, so I
2:07:34
can think that this is uh yeah, I think it's good. Yeah,
2:07:39
we're good. Yeah, we got to stop right here. No, we
2:07:42
got to stop because Hannah show is starting. Oh yeah, that's right.
2:07:45
We got a hard okay, all right, So okay, guys, once
2:07:51
again, I have to appeal to you to make sure that we can continue
2:07:55
to do this work. This is really critical work. It's important to me
2:07:58
to know that we have a way, our word that that isn't continuing to
2:08:03
blame men for not having fried ice, which I know in my logical parts
2:08:09
of my brain will not work. If that's our If that's society's only solution
2:08:13
is to continue to blame men, Yeah we're fucked. So we need to
2:08:18
have that message that we can't continue to blame men. We can't continue to
2:08:24
blame men out of a problem that blaming men got us into. And that's
2:08:30
where we're at. We need to actually do the impossible, which is,
2:08:33
for the first time in our lives and our existence, actually you know,
2:08:37
set aside. And well, maybe not the first time. There's been a
2:08:41
few other times I think, uh say, bining women. But anyway,
2:08:45
for the first time in western the Western nation's existence, maybe set aside the
2:08:50
women are wonderful thing and actually look and think about Wow, maybe women have
2:08:56
some responsibility for this, Like maybe women can improve this situation by talking about
2:09:03
what's good about being approached by men, you know, make men realize that
2:09:09
it's not a net negative to approach women. And what I mean by that
2:09:13
is, yeah, maybe maybe not only did they have to deal with rejection,
2:09:16
they have to deal with the belief that what they're doing is an unpleasant
2:09:18
is putting women through an unpleasant situation. Maybe we could encourage women to talk
2:09:24
about what what's good about being approached? And I actually did that with some
2:09:28
of the women who were talking to this guy. I said, you know,
2:09:33
when he asked you all, what's what what what should men not do?
2:09:39
I said, well, why don't you instead of focusing on approaching men
2:09:43
approaching being a net negative. In other words, it's either an inconvenience,
2:09:48
an unpleasant inconvenience, an annoyance, or it's actually terrifying. Instead of focusing
2:09:56
on that, why don't you tell, let's explain to us what's good about
2:10:01
it. You know, what's either beneficial to you in your life or what
2:10:05
you enjoyed about it, So that the guys who are pro social realize that
2:10:11
they're not putting you through hell by approaching you. Okay, then you'll get
2:10:16
more pro social guys willing to approach you. And guess what, get this,
2:10:20
Get this, this is this is what's so cool about all this.
2:10:22
Conscientious and pro social guys make better partners than psychos, you know, So
2:10:30
maybe construct a landscape where you're encouraging pro social men to approach you. Of
2:10:35
course, one of the problems with this is that apparently women do like dark
2:10:39
triadmin. I have no idea why, but whatever, you know, start
2:10:43
creating a landscape in which pro social men feel more encouraged to approach you,
2:10:48
and then you will end up with more relationship material. In the end,
2:10:52
everybody wins, and all we have to do is just tell meant women,
2:10:54
hey, talk a bit more about how it's good to be approached, you
2:11:00
know how maybe you find it flattering or maybe it makes your day to have
2:11:03
your hair complimented on. And also, you know, maybe dial back on
2:11:09
your desire or at least call out other women who react to men approaching them
2:11:16
in such intensely negative ways. And then all all of us let's start,
2:11:22
let's dial back on the mail shaming and all those narratives about how relationships were
2:11:26
women are so horrible. Like, maybe help men a bit to be able
2:11:33
to navigate the already unpleasant process of facing rejection. Okay, maybe we could
2:11:41
do that collectively and improve the situation for men. And if you're a man,
2:11:46
maybe kick out some of these sources of misentjury in your life. You
2:11:48
might find yourself less shamed and thus less risk averse. And you know,
2:11:52
this is the kind of message that we talk about here, This is the
2:11:56
kind of message. I think it's actually pretty common sense, okay, and
2:12:01
I don't think we're saying anything particularly radical, but apparently it is common sense
2:12:05
is radical in a world that's that's Ted's how bent on embracing the absurd,
2:12:11
all right, but anyway, if you want to make sure we can continue
2:12:13
to say these things, it is up to you. So I'm going to
2:12:16
lay a guilt trip down. Please make sure if you enjoy this content and
2:12:22
you want to make sure that other men and women are able to hear it,
2:12:26
go to feed the badgeer dot com slash support. You're pretty much the
2:12:28
only people we can appeal to because you are the weirdos who like common sense.
2:12:33
Everybody else wants these bizarre delusions where we can continue to blame men to
2:12:37
get us out of our problem with blaming men got us into in the first
2:12:41
place. So once again, let's feed the Badger dot com slash just the
2:12:43
tip hope. Sorry, that's if you want to send us a message after
2:12:48
the show is over, tell us we're not shouting into the void and feed
2:12:50
the Badger dot com slash just or sorry supported Badger dot com slash support.
2:12:56
I'm getting my things mixed up. Sorry, guys, feed the Badger dot
2:12:58
com slash support to make sure that we can continue to do this work.
2:13:03
It's really critical work because you know, nobody else is gonna blame women.
2:13:07
I'm just kidding. Aside from Paul or just at least say to women how
2:13:13
they can improve the situation. I don't understand why women are so adverse just
2:13:18
being like, you know, you can do this to improve the situation.
2:13:20
I mean, I had a reasonably decent exchange with some of the women on
2:13:24
his dead really hard for Hannah. Okay, okay, okay, yes,
2:13:31
all, I had a reasonably decent exchange just by saying, you know,
2:13:33
just talk about the positives and it'll improve the situation for men. That's all
2:13:39
you have to do. That's it. It's not hard, it's not onerous,
2:13:45
it's not it's not hellish. And incidentally, maybe it's better to feel
2:13:48
guilt in relation to your relationships to men than guilt and your relationships to very
2:13:54
strange and increasingly marginally increasingly small minority groups. You know, it might might
2:14:01
be better for everyone overall if he did, if he chose that anyway,
2:14:05
feed the Badger dot Com slash support so that I can continue to rant crazily
2:14:09
at you guys, and uh yeah, back to you, Brian, because
2:14:13
we gotta we gotta gotta step away from him. Yes, okay, So,
2:14:16
if you guys liked this video, please hit like subscribe If you're not
2:14:18
already subscribe. It developed a notifications, leave us a comment, let us
2:14:22
know what you guys think about what we discussed on the show today. There
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are links to everything in the description. Shout out once again to male Psychology
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John Barry. Thank you guys so much for coming on today's episode of The
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Danny Show. And we'll talk to you all in the next video. And
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you're my edge, probably Milhoud