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8: Who Is God Calling You to Love? · Finding God at Work

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  (Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
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  This is Finding God at Work.
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  Just a reminder that Finding God at Work
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  isn't just a podcast, it's also an online
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  course.
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  Check it out at findinggodatwork.org.
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  Our current series is Meaningful Work, Calling, Formation,
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  Service, and Love.
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  In the last episode, I used this metaphor
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  of a soup, that we have a kind
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  of discernment soup.
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  When we need to make a career decision,
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  there's different questions that we're asking, which are
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  the ingredients in this discernment soup.
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  And a question that we often ask is,
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  what is God calling me to do?
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  Good question, totally fine to ask, but sometimes
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  not the most important question.
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  So some other ingredients in this soup that
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  might even matter more for the overall mix
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  in the soup are questions like, who is
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  God calling me to become?
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  That question of Christ-like character.
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  Also, where is God calling me to go?
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  Or is God calling me to stay?
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  That question of the community we're in and
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  our place in it.
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  And I want to add another ingredient in
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  this episode, and that's this question, who is
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  God calling me to love?
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  Now the way that I asked that, you
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  might think about romantic love, and we will
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  get there.
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  I have an illustration that's about marriage as
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  one point in this, but I don't actually
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  primarily mean romantic love.
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  I mean that bigger scriptural call to love
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  our neighbors as ourselves.
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  And again, in this series, we're thinking about
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  meaning, what makes our work meaningful.
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  Often the cultural assumption in our context, especially
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  if we're highly educated, especially if we have
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  some socioeconomic means, is that we derive our
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  meaning through individual achievement.
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  We conceptualize our career as a ladder that
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  we climb from one degree of glory to
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  another, so to speak, from one rank to
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  another, from one point of influence to another,
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  from one point of compensation and salary to
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  another.
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  And we conceptualize the meaning of our career
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  in very individualistic terms.
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  What we can tend to undervalue in our
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  cultural context is deriving meaning from participating in
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  a community.
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  And one of the points that's so important
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  in a community is this idea of reciprocity,
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  of being mutually known and loved by others.
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  Now, that doesn't mean we only love others
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  if they love us, right?
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  Rather, it means we take the initiative to
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  love, as Jesus taught.
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  We love our neighbors as ourselves.
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  But we're also known when we do that.
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  When we take time to love our neighbors
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  as ourselves, we become known within a context
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  of a network of relationships.
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  And that's actually how God designed for us
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  to thrive as human beings.
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  So I want to take some time and
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  look at kind of three different stories that
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  I think can help all of us ask
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  this question.
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  Who is God calling me to love?
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  And again, I encourage you when you're at
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  a career decision point, when you need to
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  make a decision about where to go in
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  your career, this can be one of those
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  questions that's helpful to ask, helpful to frame
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  the whole conversation in terms of who is
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  God calling me to love.
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  OK, so our first example comes from the
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  book of Ruth in the Bible.
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  Just real quick review in case you haven't
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  read Ruth in a while.
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  Ruth was not an Israelite.
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  She was from a nation called Moab, which
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  was near Israel.
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  But her mother-in-law was an Israelite,
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  Naomi.
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  Unfortunately, Naomi, her husband, died and then Ruth's
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  husband died.
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  And Ruth also had a sister who was
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  in the mix and her husband died, too.
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  So we have three widows, one mother-in
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  -law, two daughters-in-law.
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  Because Naomi is widowed, she decides to return
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  to Israel and she says to her daughters
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  -in-law, look, don't follow after me.
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  You go back home.
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  One of her daughters-in-law decides, OK,
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  yeah, I'm going to go back, maybe find
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  a different husband in Moab, figure out my
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  life here.
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  But this is not Ruth's response.
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  This is not Ruth's response.
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  Even though Ruth has every reason to just
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  stay in Moab, not to go with Naomi
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  to Israel, she doesn't have a family duty
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  that particularly means she has to go with
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  Naomi at this point.
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  She has some sort of intuition that she's
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  supposed to stick with Naomi.
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  So this is what Naomi says.
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  And then Ruth's response, Ruth chapter one, starting
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  in verse 15.
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  Look, said Naomi, your sister-in-law is
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  going back to her people and her gods.
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  Go back with her.
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  But Ruth replied, don't urge me to leave
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  you or to turn back from you.
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  Where you go, I will go.
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  And where you stay, I will stay.
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  Your people will be my people and your
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  God, my God.
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  Where you die, I will die.
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  And there I will be buried.
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  May the Lord deal with me, be it
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  ever so severely, if even death separates you
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  and me.
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  What an incredible statement.
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  These almost sound like marriage vows.
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  And in fact, sometimes these verses are used
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  in marriage vows because it's a statement of
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  lifelong commitment.
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  Where you die, I will die.
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  And there I will be buried.
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  Why does Ruth commit to Naomi in this
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  way?
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  Well, it's not entirely clear what's going on
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  in Ruth's mind and heart at this moment,
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  but it's clear that something is happening where
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  it becomes clear to her.
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  I need to stick with Naomi.
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  And what we see as the story goes
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  on is that God was at work bringing
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  Ruth into Israel, that Ruth and Naomi's return
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  to Israel actually gets tied in with God's
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  entire saving work, ultimately culminating in the coming
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  of Jesus.
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  Because Ruth, she ends up marrying an Israelite
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  named Boaz and they have a son and
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  that son has a son and that son
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  has a son whose name is David, who
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  becomes the King David, who becomes the ancestor
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  of Jesus, the King of Israel, the Messiah.
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  And so Ruth's moment, whatever's stirring in her
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  heart in this moment of thinking, I've got
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  to stick with Naomi, that intuition, that leads
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  to her being involved in God's saving work
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  for the whole world.
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  So what I want to suggest is that
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  sometimes we get an intuition and it may
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  not be an obvious clear cut thing where
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  we have some sort of clear moral obligation
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  to a specific person, but we just have
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  this sense from the Lord, like I need
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  to stick with this person and maybe it
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  is a family member.
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  Maybe it is someone like a mother-in
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  -law or a cousin or a niece or
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  a nephew or a sibling, but maybe it's
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  somebody else.
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  Maybe it's somebody beyond your family network.
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  And you just have this sense like, I
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  need to stick with this person.
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  I need to show up for them.
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  I need to love them.
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  This is who God is calling me to
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  love.
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  And I'm going to stick with them, even
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  if it means I have to miss out
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  on other opportunities.
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  This is where the rubber meets the road,
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  right?
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  Is that sense of what does it cost
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  to love other people?
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  Ruth had to make significant sacrifices.
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  She became an immigrant.
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  She left the culture that she knew.
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  She left other family connections like her sister.
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  And she had to take great risk in
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  making this move to stick with Naomi.
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  Are we willing to take risks to love
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  other people?
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  Maybe that would look like foregoing a certain
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  job opportunity.
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  Again, as we're thinking about career discernment, maybe
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  you have an incredible job opportunity that's offered
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  to you, but it would involve relocating.
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  And you realize if I relocate, I won't
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  be there to care for my in-laws.
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  Maybe they're in poor health.
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  And you think, you know, I'm going to
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  let go of that opportunity because I feel
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  like God's calling me to stick with my
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  in-laws.
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  Again, every situation requires a discernment.
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  You can't solve these things with a formula
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  that's going to give you all the answers
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  in advance.
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  But we can have paradigms that help us
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  imagine what would it be like to be
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  faithful in a given situation?
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  Okay.
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  So second story, another paradigm.
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  This is another story of somebody getting that
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  intuition that they need to stick with someone.
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  But this actually comes from my own network
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  of relationships.
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  A acquaintance, friend of mine named David.
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  I went to church with him for many
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  years, not a super close friend, but I
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  got to know his story and it's just
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  so incredible.
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  So David, when he was a young man,
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  he was finishing up school.
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  He was an artist.
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  He's always been an artist.
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  He wanted to pursue art as his career.
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  But he kind of moved back home to
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  a city called Elmhurst where he had grown
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  up.
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  And he realized there was a gentleman in
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  his church named Tom who did not have
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  anyone to care for him.
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  And Tom had some specific needs because he
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  had had a traumatic brain injury as a
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  child.
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  So he had about the cognitive abilities of
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  a 10 year old, but he was by
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  himself in this house, which he had inherited.
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  It was a family home, but he wasn't
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  really able to care for himself.
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  And David realized nobody's stepping up.
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  Tom doesn't have family that can care for
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  him.
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  Tom doesn't have somebody that can be there
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  for him.
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  And David in his twenties, took it upon
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  himself to care for Tom.
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  He eventually became Tom's legal caregiver.
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  He moved into that home with Tom to
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  take care of him there.
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  And that house became a little outpost of
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  kingdom adventure in many different ways.
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  It was on Berkeley Avenue in Elmhurst.
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  And so eventually David and Tom nicknamed it
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  the HMS Berkeley, like his majesty's service, as
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  though it was a ship, a ship on
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  the sea of adventure with Jesus.
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  And other men got involved and there were
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  kind of a rotating group of roommates who
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  would help with Tom's care, but who would
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  also be formed in the way of Jesus
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  as they kind of pressed into the challenges
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  of being there.
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  Tom experienced growth in his own relationship with
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  Jesus in the church in really dramatic ways.
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  And also was a huge blessing to other
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  people.
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  Tom has since passed away.
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  The last time I saw David was at
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  Tom's funeral.
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  And he got to recount some of these
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  stories.
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  And to me, it's just this incredible vision
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  of being willing to stick with someone.
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  Again, when there isn't necessarily a clear obligation
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  to do so, David certainly could have, could
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  have made an excuse.
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  He could have said, look, Tom's not my
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  family or, Hey, I'm young.
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  I'm starting my career.
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  I need to go pursue wherever my art
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  is going to be.
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  But he had that intuition.
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  And, and for 20 plus years, that was
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  a kingdom adventure story that bore much fruit.
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  And as it happens, David has also had
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  a fruitful career as an artist and continues
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  to do so.
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  So God gave him that too.
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  But I'm so thankful that David was willing
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  to press in and be present to Tom
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  and stick with him again, just because of
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  that, that Holy spirit nudge, that intuition, this
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  is the person I need to stick with.
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  So again, if you're at that juncture, who
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  in your community might God be calling you
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  to stick with?
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  Is there somebody that doesn't have someone in
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  their corner where you could be the one?
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  You could be the champion that loves them,
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  that helps them, that serves them.
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  Could that be a beautiful kingdom story?
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  And are you willing to trust God and
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  taking that risk?
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  Okay.
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  A final example here.
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  I did say I had one example that
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  was more about marriage.
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  So I want to tell the story of
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  the McQuilkins.
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  So McQuilkin, M-C-Q-U-I-L
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  -K-I-N.
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  Not only is it a fun name to
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  pronounce, it's a really meaningful story.
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  So Robert McQuilkin and his wife Muriel had
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  been married for many decades.
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  Robert found himself the president of Columbia Bible
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  College.
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  And he had a kind of plan for
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  his tenure at Columbia Bible College.
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  He intended to be there as a long
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  -term president as best he could.
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  And so he kind of already had it
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  charted out, but then Muriel got Alzheimer's and
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  her symptoms got worse and worse over time.
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  And eventually he realized she needs full-time
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  care.
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  And this was eight years before he had
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  planned to retire.
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  So significant number of years still left in
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  his kind of vocational plan.
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  And he realized, I've got to stick with
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  Muriel.
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  I'm not going to put her somewhere where
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  somebody else takes care of her and continue
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  my career as a president.
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  I'm going to care for her.
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  I'm going to be the one.
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  That's the next step for me.
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  This is what he said.
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  He said, when the time came, the decision
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  was firm.
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  It took no great calculation.
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  It was a matter of integrity.
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  Had I not promised 42 years before in
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  sickness and in health, till death do us
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  part.
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  And he stepped down from that position as
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  president.
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  He cared for Muriel full-time for many
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  years.
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  She later passed away and he's also actually
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  since passed away.
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  But I look at that example and I'm
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  so deeply inspired by it.
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  I think partly because I resonate with his
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  sense of ambition, right?
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  I'm probably never going to be the president
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  of a Bible college, but I resonate with
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  that sense of I've got a plan and
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  I've got years of work ahead of me
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  and I want to get it done.
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  The fact that he kind of already had
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  that timeline and he knew he was eight
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  years ahead of retirement, so to speak.
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  And yet also his, his integrity and his
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  character to say, God's calling me to love
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  my wife.
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  And that comes first.
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  That comes first.
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  Even if I have to sacrifice this career
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  that I've envisioned, obviously the marriage covenant is
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  a very specific kind of lifelong commitment.
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  And yet this is another instance where you
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  have to make a sacrifice if you're going
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  to love.
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  And again, I don't say that to be
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  prescriptive or formulate.
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  There, there may be cases where people need
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  other professional caregivers to be involved in the
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  mix.
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  But for Robert, this was clear that this
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  was the path of obedience and he was
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  willing to take it.
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  So again, I want to encourage you in
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  your discernment soup to be asking the question,
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  who is God calling me to love?
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  And to be willing to do very counter
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  -cultural things with your career, if and when
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  there's an opportunity to love someone.
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  Okay.
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  Now, uh, speaking of family relationships, because family
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  relationships are unique, there's this movement in our
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  culture where people are quote unquote, going no
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  contact.
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  I don't know if you've seen this on
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  social media seems to be popular among younger
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  people, but people who, for whatever reason decide
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  they no longer want to be associated with
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  their parents at all.
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  They don't want to be in touch with
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  them at all.
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  And while there may be situations where it's
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  appropriate to go no contact, uh, perhaps the
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  situations of really profound abuse, um, where you
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  need that space in order to, to recover
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  and to be safe.
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  Um, I want to push back against this
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  attitude that cutting someone off is often the
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  right thing to do.
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  I think we should be very hesitant as
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  disciples of Jesus to cut someone off in
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  that way.
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  Um, part of that is that we do
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  have teachings in scripture specifically about family relationships.
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  So we have in the 10 commandments, obviously,
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  uh, honor your father and mother, so that's
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  really clear for honoring the parental relationship.
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  We have a broader statement about family from
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  first Timothy.
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  So first Timothy five, eight, anyone who does
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  not provide for their relatives and especially for
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  their own household has denied the faith and
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  is worse than an unbeliever, anyone who does
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  not provide for their relatives and especially for
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  their own household has denied the faith and
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  is worse than an unbeliever.
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  Wow.
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  That is a really high standard of family
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  relationship in the scriptures.
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  So, so we are called in as much
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  as we can to, to maintain those family
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  relationships, to love those who are literally blood
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  relatives of ours.
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  Of course, that's not the only, uh, call
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  in our lives.
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  Like Ruth, like David and Tom, um, like
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  all of us as disciples of Jesus, our
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  call is to love our neighbor as ourself,
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  regardless of whether we're related to them or
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  not.
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  But I just didn't want to put that
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  note in here that like we're called to
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  love more than our family, but not less
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  as disciples of Jesus.
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  And so when we're making career decisions, it
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  is a okay to forego a career opportunity.
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  If that's what it takes to love your
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  family, it is a okay to make less
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  money in the long run or have less
• 15:24
  influence in the long run.
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  If that's what it takes to love your
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  family.
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  For every person that, that carefully discerns, uh,
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  to take a very specific position of influence
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  that God has called them to, even though
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  it's really hard for their family.
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  There are so many people who are selfishly
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  pursuing positions of influence at the cost of
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  a loss of family relationships.
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  So again, every situation requires discernment, but I
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  think our bias should be, how am I
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  loving my family and this career decision?
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  And then, okay, what else has God calling
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  me to do?
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  How else does his vocation intersect with my
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  life and my situation right now?
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  So as you're mixing the soup, what is
• 16:05
  God calling me to do?
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  Yes.
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  Even more important.
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  Who is God calling me to become?
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  Yes.
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  Perhaps just as important as what is, where
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  is God calling me to go?
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  And, uh, is God calling me to stay?
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  And now also incredibly important.
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  Who is God calling me to love?
• 16:24
  Lord Jesus, thank you that you help us
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  discern the right thing.
• 16:28
  You don't just leave us out in the
• 16:29
  cold, not knowing which way is up or
• 16:31
  down.
• 16:32
  Give us the questions we need to ask
• 16:35
  to discern what it means to be faithful
• 16:37
  to you and to the people you've given
• 16:39
  us to love.
• 16:41
  Jesus, do your work in us as we
• 16:42
  do our work with you.
• 16:48
  Thanks for listening.
• 16:50
  Finding God at Work is a production of
• 16:52
  Mission Central, a ministry based in Aurora, Illinois,
• 16:55
  dedicated to forming Christians for mission in everyday
• 16:57
  life.
• 16:58
  You can subscribe to the podcast wherever you
• 17:00
  listen to this episode to get 10 minutes
• 17:02
  of teaching on faith and work every Tuesday
• 17:04
  and Thursday, to get resources to go deeper
• 17:07
  with each podcast series, read our blog, and
• 17:09
  get info about upcoming courses on faith in
• 17:11
  the workplace, go to our website, missioncentral.church.