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Transcript

The 1% Solution · Fierce Encouragement

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: If you gave me just 1% of your day, which is 14 minutes and 24 seconds, I could help you change your whole year.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: No guru stuff, no dopamine drips, no life hacks, just presence practice and a few dangerous questions.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Now, this episode might piss off your comfort zone the one that wants to Netflix and chill but I think that really means it's probably worth slowing down and listening to.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: So hey again, welcome back to Fierce Encouragement.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Now, this podcast is that mix of hard truth, that deeper presence and a spiritual judo street fighting, perhaps.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: And it is really for people who want to stop performing and start living, those who want to feel again, those who are sick of numbing out and are actually ready to change something in their day-to-day life.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, mark, and let's talk about time and transformation today.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: So I introduced it there at the top.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Why 14 minutes and 24 seconds?
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Well, it's because that is exactly 1% of your day.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: 14 minutes and 24 seconds is 1% of your day, and it's also a good chunk of time, enough to stay in that uncomfortability, which is the point that 14 minutes and 24 seconds is a container, it's a mirror and maybe it's even a test that you can give yourself and if you can just hold your attention, your awareness, for that long, you can start to change what you believe is really possible in your life.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Because here's the truth Most people don't need more information or more hacks.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Like I said, they really need to practice what they've read and what they're listening to, be it this podcast or a book, or even a mentor or a good friend who's really rooting for you.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: We need to practice more.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: We need to get in those reps one after another, and they do feel wobbly and messy sometimes.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: We also need to give ourselves that space and that permission to stop hiding, if that makes sense.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: We're kind of hiding from ourselves by just jumping into comfort and ease and that hedonic treadmill that we get on.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: But have you ever noticed how fast we go from that idea of I got this to what's wrong with me, like that pleading from the inside?
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I'm really gosh, you know.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: It sometimes feels like I'm just riding a roller coaster.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I start, uh, that 15 minutes or that 14 minutes and 24 seconds with a strong intention and by the end, about 10 minutes in, I'm wondering why I can't hold my attention on my topic or do that uncomfortable thing.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: And there's a really good model that I love, that I learned from my coaching program and also the book and it's called the dreaded drama triangle.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: This is a tool and a way to kind of look at how we walk through life.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: But this idea of the dreaded drama triangle, it breaks down kind of like this we have at one point of the triangle the victim, at the other point of the triangle the persecutor, and at the third point of the triangle we have the rescuer.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: We spiral in these roles, sometimes with ourselves or maybe even blaming others or maybe even numbing out right, or we get stuck in that doom scroll instead of building something or creating something.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: And it is sneaky and it does sometimes feel like we're being productive when we fall into that victim mindset or that persecutor or even that rescuer.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: But really, underneath all of those dreaded drama triangle kind of personas, it's just avoidance.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: David Emerald, the author of the great book the Power of Ted, shares it like this in his book Frozen in fear.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: You avoid responsibility because you think your experiences is beyond your control.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Does that sound familiar to you?
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: It really does to me.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: We get that choice in that moment, us to be.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: We get that choice in that moment and we can use that dreaded drama triangle of victim, persecutor and rescuer to kind of frame up what might be going on with us and with others.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: But now it's.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: I guess it's time to be a little more severe with ourself, or fierce, right?
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: So we want to be fierce in our encouragement, but we want to be fierce when we catch ourselves in that victim mode.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: The antidote to being a victim and kind of indulging that part of us isn't like a toxic positivity, right.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: It's not just to pretend everything's okay, it's not ignoring your pain.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Really, it's about moving into the creator mode.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: The moment you stop asking why is this happening to me?
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: And you start just looking at it like what do I want to create from this?
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: We start to shift, we start to change.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: And TED, or TED, the empowerment dynamic.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: It offers three new roles and I just shared one, but one is the creator, not the victim.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: What do I want to create from this?
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: How can we move our mind there just a little bit?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: The second new role is the challenger, not the persecutor, but challenging what's going on, seeing if you can find some positive things or some momentum that can come out of it.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: And the third dynamic empowerment dynamic is the coach, not the rescuer, the creator, the challenger, the coach.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: It is really interesting to step into these different dynamics and see how we can move from reacting to our life and what's happening in it to designing it.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: This next part I wanted to share, and I'm really excited about this.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: It's something I've been working on for quite a while.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: So what do we do with this?
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: What do we do with all this energy and these tools, moving from the dreaded drama triangle to the Empowerment Dynamic?
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Well, here is your 1% tool.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: This is your 1%, your 14 minutes and 24.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Second tool it's really simple, it's powerful, it can challenge you and I'm calling it the 5-5-5 practice Just 1% of your day.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: We want to take five minutes to breathe, sit down, scan our bodies, notice our breaths not fixing anything, catching, going into judgment and just noticing.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: We want to take five minutes.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: The second five minutes on journaling, answering to ourselves what do I want from this morning, what do I want from this situation, what am I avoiding, what might need a little work and what's one truth I need to speak today Journaling for five minutes.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: And then the last part of the 15, or the 555, is the three, I'm sorry, the five minutes of visualization.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: The third part is the visualization for a few minutes, not, you know, trying to have it a super sharp picture, but picture yourself, feel yourself living from that truth that you spoke of.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Let go of perfection, but be honest about the progress you have made and where you're going and ask yourself how you can show up strong, see yourself showing up centered and awake.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: And that's it, the 5-5-5 method.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: And if you want a guided version of that, I got you.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: There will be a one-page PDF and an audio version you can use daily.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: I will put the link in the show notes.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: No spam, just support.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Go, check it out.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Would love for you to practice that.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I recorded this after skipping the beer tonight and lifting heavy and really thinking hard about what kind of man, what kind of person I want to be, and I realized I'm not selling coaching here, I'm selling the transformation.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: I'm really selling who you get to become when you just stop hiding.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: So let me ask you what transformation are you holding back on?
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: And what's that pain that is growing louder the longer you avoid it?
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Is it the extra weight, maybe the broken sleep, or that job that's eating at your soul?
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: You already know, and you don't need a rescue.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: You just need that 14 minutes and 24 seconds of courage.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: So try it, 1% of your day every morning for seven days, the 5-5-5 practice and if it opens something up good in you, that's awesome.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: It's not weakness to work on this and the sound of your armor getting attacked and taking arrows that's real strength.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: That means we're waking up.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: This has been fierce encouragement and this is really about speaking the truth and helping all of us take bold action, talking to ourselves with encouragement and really being that anchor to change in our own lives.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: It's up to us and if this episode helped you, please send it to a friend or come and join me and some others inside our awareness lab.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: It is a monthly subscription club where we talk about awareness.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: We practice Lab it is a monthly subscription club where we talk about awareness, we practice, we send out guided meditations and journaling prompts and, most importantly, we live from the place of awareness and connection and getting better and using that mental muscle to grow.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Until next time, really leave nothing hidden in your life, be vulnerable, live with your eyes wide open and please don't forget you are not broken.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: You're just undertrained and you need a little fierce encouragement.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: This has been, mark.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Have a good day, a good evening, wherever you're at, and I appreciate you spending some time with me.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: Take care, bye-bye.