Latest / The Woody Show / HIGHTLIGHT POD 30 MINS: The Woody Show October 23rd 2026 Podcast

Transcript

HIGHTLIGHT POD 30 MINS: The Woody Show October 23rd 2026 Podcast · The Woody Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: The Woody, Woody, Woody Show. All right, time to play
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: today's dumbass contest. And today's dumbass contest is the DUIQ.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: All right, DUIQ time. Seabass, explain the game to everybody, please.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: I ask a very drunk person very easy questions that
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: every functioning adult knows the answer to. So the game
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: is not answering the questions. The game is to guess
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: whether the person is so drunk that they will or
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: will not be able to.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Answer the questions.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: So if you can guess whether they get it right
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: two times out of three, you win.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: All right, that's how you play the DUIQ. We go
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: to the phones to get a contestant.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: 877-44-WOODY.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Everybody else just play along wherever you are. Let's go
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: to the phones and say hi to Bobby.
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: Bobby!
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: Bobby!
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Hey, Woody Cho. What's up, man?
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: How are you?
• 0:47
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Bobby! All right. DUIQ. Before we get to the questions
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: that actually count toward winning a prize, Seabass has a
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: little clip here for us that we're going to listen
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: to to get a better idea just how with it
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: or not with it this drunk person is. And who
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: is this drunk person, Seabass?
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: We've got Brian, and I surprisingly found him technically on
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: the clock.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 1:08
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: Oh, all right.
• 1:09
  Speaker 6: You're out here drinking beer, but you said you're supposed
• 1:11
  Speaker 6: to be at work.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:12
  Speaker 5: I do security.
• 1:14
  Speaker 7: But mostly I do artwork for money. Well, the thing
• 1:18
  Speaker 7: is that you pick the posts that no one actually
• 1:22
  Speaker 7: checks or comes to visit to. They're usually the solo
• 1:27
  Speaker 7: posts where you work alone.
• 1:30
  Speaker 6: So now you're going to show back up to work
• 1:32
  Speaker 6: to clock out?
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Incredibly drunk.
• 1:33
  Speaker 7: But the best thing is that there's no one there
• 1:37
  Speaker 7: to say that I was drunk.
• 1:39
  Speaker 6: That's how you know.
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: You got a good post.
• 1:41
  Speaker 6: That's the key to success, right?
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: Amen.
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: So that's life hacks, right?
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, get a job.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: I mean, security.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: You see these, especially in our hours, driving around, and
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: there's just some dude sitting in a booth doing nothing.
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but they had those things now for a long
• 1:57
  Speaker 5: time where there's sensors around the building where they have to-
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: QR code it? Yeah, they have to- Ew.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they give you a check-in. They give you a smartphone.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: We got to do those old-timey key things.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: I think we have that on this building. You'll see
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: little QR codes by doors. It's not a QR code.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: It looks like a little silver button, almost like one
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: of those little button batteries. And I see them walking
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: around taking the fob and kind of touching it to
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: that to check in. All right, so that is Brian. Now, Bobby, again,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: you just have to guess if Brian's going to get
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: these correct. Yes or no. Two out of three times
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: in order to be the winner. Are you ready for
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: question number one?
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, let's do it.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: All right. D-U-I-Q.
• 2:37
  Speaker 6: What famous artist cut off his own ear?
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Yes for Menace and Sammy.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Menace went to art school, kind of.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I'm tempted to go triple yes.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: I'm thinking triple yes.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I'm not.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: I'm tempted, but I'm not going to. Why not?
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Let's do it.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Go crazy.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: I'm doing it. All right. Greg, can you go crazy?
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: I'm going triple yes.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: I'll say no for Brian. Yes for both Menace and Sammy,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: although Menace is still staring at his paper. He's probably drawing.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Second guessing.
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: I'm going yes for just the lady, Sammy.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: All right. So just for Sammy.
• 3:16
  Speaker 8: Yes.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: And then no for Menace and for Brian.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: So what do you say, Bobby? Do you think he's
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: going to get it?
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: For Brian, no.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: Brian. All right.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Question number one, DUIQ.
• 3:27
  Speaker 6: What famous artist cut off his own ear?
• 3:29
  Speaker 9: Menace.
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: Menace.
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: I'm trying to, I'm writing down an extra thing. I'm like,
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: I'm trying to say, does he have, did he have
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: syphilis from a whore and then he went crazy or
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: did he drink absinthe and then he went crazy?
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: That wasn't the question. Who was it?
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Inconsequential.
• 3:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but Galileo.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Galileo.
• 3:45
  Speaker 6: The famous artist.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: No whore person.
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: That map the stuff?
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: I totally forgot who it was.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Galileo.
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: I'm blanking. And I, dude, I took art history like crazy.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Sounds like it.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: But I'm blanking right now. And it's like, it's so
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: obvious and so easy too.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: Sammy?
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: Picasso.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Picasso.
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: No, I know that for sure. It's not Picasso.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, Sammy's closer, technically.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: 100% she is.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: Why is Picasso so close?
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Well, because it's an artist.
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not Galileo. Roughly the same.
• 4:18
  Speaker 6: What famous artist cut off his own ear?
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Vincent?
• 4:21
  Speaker 9: Come on.
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: Van Gogh.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: Van Gogh.
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: Damn it.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: Van Gogh.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: I remember as a kid, everyone was like, oh, it
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: makes him so interesting. No, he's just a stupid psycho.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he was obsessed with his girlfriend.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Weird.
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: Was it the chick that he cut his ear off for?
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: That's the chick thing is like the cute romantic version. Oh,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: there's another version?
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: According to his own Vincent Van Gogh Museum, intense emotional distress,
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: declining health, a bitter argument with fellow artist Paul Gauguin.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: And bitches.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought he was schizophrenic.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that too. And mental health.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: He's just, he's not a maniac. He's not a genius.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: All right. So Bobby said that he would not get
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: this one right. Let's see if you have your first
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: point here on this round of the DUI.
• 5:02
  Speaker 6: What famous artist cut off his own ear?
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: Beethoven?
• 5:07
  Speaker 6: Shouts at Beethoven, even though he can't hear it.
• 5:09
  Speaker 7: That's legit, like, you know, dedication for whoever he did
• 5:14
  Speaker 7: that to.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God, I said triple yes.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: You want to be my latex salesman.
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: Oh, God.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: That's not a bad, that's technically kind of a good guess,
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: because Beethoven, of course, went deep very early.
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he's not an artist.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Well, you got a point here, Bobby. You're in good
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: shape going into question number two.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: DUIQ.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Cafe Du Monde is most famous for what menu item?
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: Triple dope.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I'm sure Menace has been to this place. It's so touristy.
• 5:41
  Speaker 6: Café du Monde is most famous.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: For what menu item? He must have gone to this place.
• 5:45
  Speaker 7: He has.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: We've been there. I must say. He and I have
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: been there.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: You out there.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I've been to this place with Menace.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: If there's a tourist trap in a city, Menace has
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: been there.
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: That's the one.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: We've been there, Menace.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: Café du Monde is most famous for what menu item?
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say, even with that, no to Menace.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: No to Sammy by the look on her face. I'll
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: say yes to no.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: No.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: No.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Triple no.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, trips no.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: What am I thinking?
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Triple no.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Trips no.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: You're saying triple no? Everybody's saying triple no? All right, Bobby,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: what do you think? Yes or no?
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: I'm going to say no for Brian, but if Menace
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: gets it, I want to see his spelling of it.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's a good question.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: Good request.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: All right, question number two, DUIQ.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Café du Monde is most famous for what menu item?
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: Menace.
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: It's powdered sugar baguettes.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Powdered sugar baguettes.
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: I guess I got it wrong because of genius.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Sigh.
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, gave it away.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: Sammy.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Croissants. Croissants.
• 6:46
  Speaker 5: You were just so close.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Not bad guesses.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: No, Menace was so close. I mean, it begins with
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: a B.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: How do you spell baguette, by the way?
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: Baguette's a B-A-G-E-T-S. Oh, beignet.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: There you go. You remember going there, Menace?
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I've been there, and then I've had the Disney
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: version a hundred times.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: And they have the chicory coffee, right?
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: That's like a very.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: If he had said coffee, I might have given him...
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: I would have still pushed harder, but.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: I just realized where we're talking about.
• 7:13
  Speaker 6: I have their coffee in my kitchen right now.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: And I have the beignet mix.
• 7:16
  Speaker 5: Oh, my God.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: What do you mean you realized the place? They said
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: the name of the place.
• 7:22
  Speaker 6: Café Du Monde is most famous for what menu item?
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Café Du Monde. I haven't heard it said out loud.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: I just see it.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: And I sort of anglicize it pretty hard there just
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: to be extra clear about what I was talking about.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I was like, Café Du Monde.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: You whited it up?
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Intentionally, yes. All right, so Bobby says that our drunk
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: friend will not get this one right, and if that
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: is the way it works out, he'll be the winner
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: of this round of the DUIQ.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: Café du Monde is most famous for what menu item?
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: An ice cream?
• 7:50
  Speaker 7: Server?
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Ice cream.
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: Okay, well.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah. There you go, Bobby. Quick and easy work with
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: that one. You are the winner here on the DUIQ.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: They do have a coffee ice cream, Greg and Menace.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Bobby, hang on one second, man. We'll get all your information.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: There he is.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Bobby, everybody. We love you, Woody Show.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: In fact, beignet is French for bump or lump.
• 8:17
  Speaker 6: Let me get a fried lump.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You know what?
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: That is fun.
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: And I've been to all these places, not because, oh,
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: I think I'm too cool, so I'm not going to
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: go travel somewhere and not go to the spot. Because
• 8:30
  Speaker 5: it's a quote-unquote tourist trap.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: You still hit me on that one.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: But I didn't read nothing. That's for damn sure.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: Question number three.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Question number three. D-U-I-Q.
• 8:41
  Speaker 6: Who founded the Church of Scientology?
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: Oh, I know this.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: I only remember it from the commercial. Back in the day,
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: like old school, when I was a kid commercial. There
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: was a big volcano in the commercial. Oh, double hint.
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: Triple hint.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: I'll give you a triple hint. The volcano is also
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: on the cover of the book.
• 9:03
  Speaker 6: They love volcanoes.
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: What do you mean by they?
• 9:06
  Speaker 6: Who founded the Church of Scientology?
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Who founded the Church of Scientology?
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: By they, I mean you people.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say, again, no for Brian. Yes for
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Sammy and then no for Menace.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: I agree with that one. Only yes to Sammy. So
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: you better get this.
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: My brain chambers have not been open this morning.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Your brain chambers have not been open this morning.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Somebody texted in that they predicted that Menace and Sammy
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: would sweep today.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: I knew the answer.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Open your chambers.
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: The chambers aren't open.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Alright, so question number three. D-U-I-Q.
• 9:45
  Speaker 6: Who founded the Church of Scientology?
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Menace, I'm sticking with you.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: It's L. Ron Hubbard.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: Maybe the brain chamber is open.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: What did you say, Sammy? Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Sammy.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: I just knew I didn't know the answer, so I
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: wrote it down really fast and then sat here commenting.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: Dianetics by L.
• 10:04
  Speaker 7: Ron Hubbard.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: And I always thought his name was L.
• 10:06
  Speaker 9: Ron.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense.
• 10:07
  Speaker 5: Dude, do they still have the boat? I just remember
• 10:09
  Speaker 5: those commercials.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's still sales. Does it?
• 10:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we should give away cruises.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: That would be cool.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: First name, speaking of beignets, Lafayette.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: Lafayette Ronald Hubbard.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: That's a name. I've been there.
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: He's seen it.
• 10:25
  Speaker 8: Lafayette.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: All right, question number three, DUIQ.
• 10:28
  Speaker 6: Who founded the Church of Scientology? It was a famous actor,
• 10:32
  Speaker 6: Tom Cruise.
• 10:32
  Speaker 7: They seem legit if you're looking for something to believe in.
• 10:38
  Speaker 5: There's no real right answer. Dude, Sammy, she should get
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: a point for that. Half a point.
• 10:43
  Speaker 6: You people are idiots.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Security guards that drink on the job, it's the demo
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: of Scientology people.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: They're going to get you.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: People with no real purpose in life, looking for something
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: to do.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: Scientologists love them. I just remember they were on the
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: street corners. Ask me if I want to find out
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: how clear I was. I got to hold that.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: The metal cylinder thing? Yeah.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: I was supposed to hold. What the hell was that?
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I never did it, but they were really trying to
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: talk me into it.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: I wanted to do it.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, I did it for fun.
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: To see how clear you were.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: Or how stressed.
• 11:13
  Speaker 5: They said I wasn't clear.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah. We got some dad jokes coming up. We'll encourage
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: you to call in with your dad jokes, 877-44-WOODY. Always fun.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Love it. Depending on who you ask, right, CBass? You
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: know what?
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: It gets better every time.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: Every time.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I thought this was weird. I don't know how this
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: could be true. Let's see if you can figure it out.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Looking at the most streamed rock and metal artists of
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: all time on Spotify, Linkin Park is at number one.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: They have a five billion stream lead over number two
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: on the list.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Damn.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Let me guess. Which is.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: I'd say Guns N' Roses.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: I would say Metallica?
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Queen. Queen, all right. Queen at number two. All right,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: so Linkin Park, Queen at number two. The Beatles are fourth. Metallica,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: you mentioned, is seventh. Rolling Stones are like number 18.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Who do you think is third on the list, though?
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: So if Linkin Park is one... Queen is two. Beatles
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: are fourth. Who would fit nicely under that number three spot?
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: And I already told you, Metallica, Rolling Stones, they're off
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: the table.
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: Is it going to be something.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: That's not rock? Like Elvis.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: Or U2. Elton John. Paramore.
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah, like Elton John. Who else in that realm? I
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: would think like a Warped Tour type band.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: It can't be too old because old people don't use Spotify.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Arctic Monkeys.
• 12:48
  Speaker 6: Oh, really?
• 12:49
  Speaker 5: What?
• 12:50
  Speaker 9: Really?
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: No, I don't dislike Arctic Monkeys. Is this worldwide streams, obviously?
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Spotify.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: Just overall Spotify.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Okay. What? Strange. Trillion years.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: That's so weird. It's like when I see the Tame
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Impala glaze. That's what happens, you know?
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Where it's like, okay, they're playing these big, big things,
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: big stages. And okay, Tame Impala, fine. But like, I wouldn't,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: like Arctic Monkeys, fine. I wouldn't, I wouldn't ever think
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Number three, sandwiched between Queen and the Beatles. You could
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: have given me another week.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't have come up with that.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: Right? Give me another lifetime.
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: They've been around for a long time. It might have
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: been big on streaming before they hit big.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: Kind of like, I don't know. Remember Tove Lo?
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I do.
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: She got like, it was like two billion streams before
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: she even got on the radio.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: And Woody, is it just me or do you kind
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: of conflate? Tame Impala and Cage the Elephant. I think
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: they're kind of legally the same. No way. No?
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: No.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: I always think they're the same.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: No, I don't. Hey, Greg, you know what song I
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: thought about because we both hated it so much?
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: Which?
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know why it popped in my head the
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: other day. I'm like, oh, I hadn't thought about that
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: song in years. Greg and I hated this song so much.
• 14:04
  Speaker 9: Which one?
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: I got guns in my head.
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: Oh, my God.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: Spirits in my.
• 14:09
  Speaker 9: Head and I won't go.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Remember this stupid song?
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: This had a major social media resurgence.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I even hate the name of the band, Strumbellas. That's
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: what they're called? Yeah, so pretty.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: This was.
• 14:21
  Speaker 6: So stupid.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: Imagine you're a man. You tell everybody, hey, you're in
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: a band.
• 14:25
  Speaker 9: Cool, dude.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: What's the name of your band? Strumbello.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: What's your biggest hit? Oh, you know that song?
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: You've heard it. And then next thing you know, your
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: lunch money's gone. Can we coin a term for that
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: style of quote rock? There was something. I saw something recently.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: Is it queef rock?
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: I think that's accurate.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Because it's pussy.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Hipster stuff that's like the alternative.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: I guess.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: The big social media thing was showing like somebody how
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: they look now at a reunion and then showing their
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: yearbook picture.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: By the way, there's a lot of that stuff. There's
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: a lot of that stuff that I didn't mind certain
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: songs here and there. But man, that name and that song. Yeah,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: here's one. There was a meme I saw. It said,
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: life is tough. but at least we're not living in
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: the stomp, clap, hey era anymore. It was a hipster guy.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: It looks like he works at a modern barbershop or
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: a place that sells you a burger.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: For 50 bucks.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: It was a very specific era. With a banjo.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: That's so good.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I'm glad we're not in the stomp, clap, hey era anymore.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Big chorus-y. That's awesome. Amen.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: Another telltale sign that there's a band that Woody would
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: hate if there's like 25 people in the band.
• 15:37
  Speaker 9: Right.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: The worst.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: You know what that big chorus he sang?
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Some of the stuff, again, it's not just as a
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: blanket statement thing, but man, that song popped in my
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: head and I thought about Greg. Greg, I thought about
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: you immediately.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: That's so nice.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: You know who I love? I love it. I would
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: love to have him as a guest on this show
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: at some point. Jimmy Carr. Oh, he's the best. Do
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: you like Jimmy Carr, Seabass?
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: I saw him live in Manchester, England about 15 years ago.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: He seems like your kind of comedian.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's done a ton of stuff in the U.S.,
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: but even more stuff.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: He's on every single U.K. comedy show. He's hosted a
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: thousand things over there. Yeah, he's a comedian. He's always
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: in a suit.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: Very proper gentleman.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Talk to someone about hair plugs, he's your man.
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: He's smarter than you.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I love when he's just talking to the
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: crowd and the crowd throws something. His crowd work is,
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: I think, unbeatable.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was, again, even 15 years ago, that was
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: his challenge to the crowd.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Like, I'll take your heckles now, please. Yeah, he's great.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: He takes their texts. Like, he'll put up a big
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: screen and show their texts on the screen.
• 16:43
  Speaker 9: Yeah. Yeah.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: All right, so this is Jimmy Carr. I don't know
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: how anybody doesn't like Jimmy Carr, but He got a question,
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: of course, from the crowd about the whole Shane Gillis thing.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: And here's what he said.
• 16:56
  Speaker 9: Shane Gillis, if that's what passes as controversy, great. The
• 17:04
  Speaker 9: weird thing about that is I say worse things than
• 17:06
  Speaker 9: that every day. And also, I think intent is much
• 17:15
  Speaker 9: more important than content. Shane is very clearly a lovely man,
• 17:20
  Speaker 9: and he's trying to make people laugh. That's a joyful thing.
• 17:24
  Speaker 9: Look at the intent, not the content. Don't take it
• 17:26
  Speaker 9: out of context. He's a great f * * *
• 17:28
  Speaker 9: ing guy.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: Great guy, great comic.
• 17:32
  Speaker 9: I think, though, the controversy probably means that you won't
• 17:35
  Speaker 9: be able to go to the gym for a while.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: I don't think that's going to be a massive....
• 17:42
  Speaker 9: Problem for him, lifestyle-wise.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I love that. Dude, Jimmy Carr is so funny.
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: I do get mixed up sometimes with Jim Jefferies. The
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: Australian guy.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: I do like Jim Jefferies, too.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: I was behind Jim Jefferies in line to get Christopher
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Lloyd's autograph.
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: Lucky. He's celebrities.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: They're just like us.
• 18:01
  Speaker 8: Wow.
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break, and then we'll
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: come back, and we've got dad jokes on the schedule. Yeah.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: So dad jokes next. If you've got a good one
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: for us, give us a call. 877-44-WOODY. That's 877-44-WOODY. Just dumb, simple,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: one-liner dad jokes.
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Nothing fancy. The Woody Show. Issue with my headphones here.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: Hold on.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: They're all crooked. How do you want this?
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: Maybe the wire.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a wire that got caught. There we go.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: All right. Who's ready for some dad jokes?
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah.
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: 877-44-WOODY.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: That's 877-44-WOODY.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: And we'll go right.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: To the phones.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: And everybody say hi to Carlos.
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: Hey, Carlos.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Hey, what's up?
• 18:57
  Speaker 8: What do you show?
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: What's up, man? What's your dad joke?
• 19:00
  Speaker 8: Yeah, what do you call a hippie's wife?
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: What do you call a hippie wife?
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: What?
• 19:06
  Speaker 8: A hippie's wife is Mrs.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Hippie. It sounds like Mississippi, guys. It totally does.
• 19:13
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it does.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: All right, Carlos, thanks for the call, Carlos.
• 19:16
  Speaker 6: Appreciate you.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: Bye.
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: Bye-bye.
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: All right, you're welcome.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Let's go to, let's see here. Roy is up next. Roy,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: what's your dad joke?
• 19:27
  Speaker 8: Okay, so police are investigating a shooting at a track meet.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: They are?
• 19:32
  Speaker 8: The guy was shot with a darting gun and beaten
• 19:36
  Speaker 8: with a race baton. Police thought she believed it's race-related.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Oh!
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: Oh!
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Hey.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: All right. Track and field, Josie.
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: Strong, right, Seabass?
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't put the pun in the setup if
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: you're going to use it in a punchline.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: Oh, come on.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Hey, Roy. Roy, thanks for the call, man. Appreciate you.
• 19:56
  Speaker 7: Bye!
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: All right, Seabass, show us how it's done then. All right,
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: from Truly Tasteless Jokes, great book. How can you tell
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: when a Polish woman's not wearing any underwear?
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: How can you tell when a Polish woman is not
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: wearing any underwear?
• 20:09
  Speaker 9: How?
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: By the dandruff on her shoes. Because I guess they're gross.
• 20:16
  Speaker 6: I like that stupid, not gross.
• 20:17
  Speaker 5: What was up with all the Polish jokes in the 80s?
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: That was hot.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: Those were big. You can tell that? Yeah. Dude, my
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: wife is really mad at the fact that I have
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: no sense of direction.
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah?
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: So I packed up my stuff and write.
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: Speaking of direction, check this out. Why did the ram
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: run off the cliff?
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Why did the ram run off the cliff, Menace?
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: It didn't see the E turn.
• 20:43
  Speaker 9: Oh.
• 20:44
  Speaker 5: Did I say that right?
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: No, the U-turn.
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: E-W-E.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: Oh, the E-turn. You just made it way better.
• 20:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: That's a menace joke.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: Not a dad joke.
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: I punched it up.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Sure did.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: Totally punched it up.
• 20:59
  Speaker 5: I'm curious what you thought it meant, because I.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Don't know what an E-turn is.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: Why'd you pick that joke?
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: Because of the direction.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: What's an E-turn?
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: An E-turn?
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what would an E-turn be?
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: If it was an E-turn.
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: E-turn would be left.
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: Why?
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: Where did that term come from? E-turn.
• 21:20
  Speaker 5: You haven't heard about E-turn?
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: You're just not up on it.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: It's been a thing, Woody. It's been a thing for
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: like a year.
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: Everybody knows about E-turn, dog. Come on. You're sleeping on it.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: I'm sleeping. How did the hipster burn his tongue?
• 21:36
  Speaker 9: How?
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: He drank his coffee before it was cool.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Let's say hi to Dan. I don't know how you're
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: going to top that E-turn.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: I know, right? Hey, good morning, guys. Why did the
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: Avon lady walk funny?
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Why did the Avon lady walk funny? Why?
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: Because her lipstick.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: All right. Let's say hi to Gil. What's good, Gil?
• 22:05
  Speaker 8: Hey, how's it going? Here's a quickie.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: My buddy Tony got mad at me and said, stop
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: saying my name backwards.
• 22:13
  Speaker 8: I looked at him and said, why not?
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Did you get that one, Menace?
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: Nope.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: You don't?
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: No, I didn't get it.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: All right, Guild, let's try it again.
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: One more time.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Go ahead.
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: My buddy Tony got mad at me and said, stop
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: saying my name backwards.
• 22:33
  Speaker 8: And I looked at him and said, why not?
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: Why not?
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Pony backwards.
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: Why not?
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, I get.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: It. All right.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Gil, thanks, man.
• 22:44
  Speaker 5: I appreciate you.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: Thank you for listening.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: Let's say hi. Let's say hi to Martha. Hey, Martha.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: Hey.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: Hey.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: All right. Dad joke. What do you got?
• 22:54
  Speaker 8: Why couldn't the kids get into the pirate movie?
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Why couldn't the kids get into the pirate movie?
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: Why, Martha?
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Because it was rated R. R. You used to work
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: at a pirate store.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Dude, I did.
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: Shout out to Hidden Blunder.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: All right, you want to try another one, Menace?
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, let's try this. Why did the toilet toll cross
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: the road?
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Why did the what?
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: Toilet toll? Toilet toll? Sorry.
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: Why did the toilet roll across the road?
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Why did the toilet?
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: Wait.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: What's a toilet roll?
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: A toilet roll.
• 23:24
  Speaker 9: Oh, wait.
• 23:24
  Speaker 7: Why?
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, toilet paper.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: You didn't say paper.
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: I said, why did the toilet roll across the road?
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: Well, you said paper first. Oh, why did the toilet
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: roll across the road?
• 23:34
  Speaker 9: Oh.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: So the toilet itself rolled across the road? Or the
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: roll of toilet paper?
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: We'll figure it out when we know why.
• 23:42
  Speaker 5: I'll set it up differently.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: How about this one?
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: Why didn't the toilet roll across the road?
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, why didn't the toilet roll across the road?
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: We'll do it that way.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: Because he got stuck in the crack.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Oh!
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: What website are you getting this from?
• 24:02
  Speaker 9: What?
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Are these just like off the top? Is this another E-turn? Here, here, here.
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: Greg, here, I wrote it down for you. What's it say?
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: Oh, are you transcribing it?
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: Why didn't the toilet roll across the road? across the
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: road because he got stuck in the crack.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: What?
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: Maybe copy and paste. It's called the thinker.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: Maybe why didn't the toilet paper roll across the road?
• 24:23
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: Because he got stuck in the road. Yeah.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: Well, think about it.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: Brian. Follow that.
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: Delay getting.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: Brian. Yeah.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: So there's a guy with two left feet.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: Uh-huh.
• 24:37
  Speaker 8: And he walks into his shoe store and he says, hey,
• 24:40
  Speaker 8: do you guys sell any flip flips?
• 24:42
  Speaker 9: Uh-huh.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Getting all right mario you're up next dad jokes what
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: do you got for.
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: Us why was cinderella bad at soccer all right there
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: he is there's mario everybody hey all right uh mario
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: the uh one more time why was cinderella so bad
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: at soccer why.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: Was cinderella so bad at soccer why she kept.
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: Running away from the ball Okay.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: By the way, just to say, why didn't the toilet
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: paper cross the road that way?
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: Did you find it?
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I found out how it's supposed to be set up.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: All right, so how's it go? Why didn't the toilet
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: paper cross the road?
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: Why? Because it was stuck in the crack.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: Oh!
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: That way you get rid of roll, you get rid
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: of the actual toilet itself.
• 25:25
  Speaker 5: Interesting.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Interesting. I'll consider that. Seabass, what else did you find
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: over there?
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Hey, do you know why Polish women can't use vibrators?
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: They can't?
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: No, they chip their teeth.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: I get it. Woody, what's the difference between a tire
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: and 365 used condoms? What's the difference between a tire
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: and 365 used condoms? Condoms. I don't know. What, Greg?
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: One is a good year and one is a great year.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Get that one. All right, Menace. Try it again.
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: What's brown and sticky? What's brown and sticky?
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: He's going. See, that's the thing. You got to go
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: back to the basics.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: Let's tell us.
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: A stick.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Oh!
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: A stick.
• 26:15
  Speaker 8: A stick.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: That one's so old that I made a parody of
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: that one. What's brown and sticky?
• 26:19
  Speaker 9: What?
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: My dildo.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: I'm kidding. Noice. Hey, what do sprinters eat before they race?
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: What's that?
• 26:28
  Speaker 6: Nothing.
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: They fast.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Why are cats bad storytellers?
• 26:34
  Speaker 6: Why?
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Because they only have one tail.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: What comes after 69?
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: What's that?
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: Mouthwash. I get it. Sammy.
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, boy.
• 26:46
  Speaker 6: What do you call a person who never farts in public?
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: Not Sammy.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: What do you call a person who never farts in public?
• 26:52
  Speaker 9: What?
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: A private tutor.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: Get it. Oh! All right, man.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: All right. All right.
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: Why should you never date a banker?
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: Why?
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: I've been told they're too kinky.
• 27:10
  Speaker 9: What?
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: What?
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: Why should you never date a baker?
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: What's happening today? You're usually not this bad. I told
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: you the brain chambers are off.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: They are kinky.
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: Too kinky. What does that mean?
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: Show Greg this. There's already a word that's messed up here.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: Why should you never date a baker? A baker, baby?
• 27:33
  Speaker 9: A baker.
• 27:34
  Speaker 6: But kinky doesn't make sense.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: I have been.
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: They're too.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 27:37
  Speaker 6: I get it.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: Why should you never date a baker? I have been
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: told they're too needy.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: A banker... Oh, reading sucks.
• 27:48
  Speaker 8: Too kinky.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Dude, reading sucks. Those are tough words.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we got to do an E-turn here.
• 27:54
  Speaker 6: Look up an E-turn.
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: It's a mathematical term about being an exit.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: It's high-level thinking, Abel.
• 28:00
  Speaker 9: Virginia.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: Virginia. Virginia, hi. What's your dad joke?
• 28:06
  Speaker 8: What do you call a cow with no legs?
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: What do you call a cow with no legs?
• 28:11
  Speaker 8: What?
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Sparky.
• 28:12
  Speaker 6: Ground beef.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Ground beef. Did you say sparky?
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: Sparky.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Virginia. Let's see how Luis. Luis, you are
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: next up. Let's see here. Luis, what's your dad joke?
• 28:26
  Speaker 8: What do you call a dwarf cow?
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: What do you call a dwarf cow?
• 28:30
  Speaker 9: What?
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Condensed milk. How about this?
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: Why should you never date a banker?
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Why should you never date a banker?
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: Because they'll lose interest as soon as they make their withdrawal.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: That's a good one.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: Menace?
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: One more chance at redemption.
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: I started arguing with my son in the elevator.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: You did?
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: Turns out I was wrong on all levels.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: That's a good one. It would be hilarious if I
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: had a song.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: There's your dab jokes.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: This song is too kinky.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: All right. Thank you, Menace. That was amazing.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: Hey.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: I really truly enjoyed that. I really did. I'm here
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: for you.
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break. More Woody Show next.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: Hang on. Wake up. Wake up.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: I didn't hear it the first time. The Woody Show
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: will be right back.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: Wake up.