Latest / The Healthy Diabetic / #379: Diabetes Doesn't Hold Me Back - But It Used to. Here's What Changed

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#379: Diabetes Doesn't Hold Me Back - But It Used to. Here's What Changed · The Healthy Diabetic

• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Coach Ken Kenniss.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't know much about my story, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at the age of 25 in 2007.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm the founder of Simplifying Life with Diabetes, a diabetes health coaching company that bridges the gap between your medical team and the daily complexities that you face every single day living with this condition.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: I truly believe that every single one of us living or caring for someone with type 1 diabetes only has one job, and that's to figure out what's going to work for you.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking for new perspectives and new ideas on how to live with diabetes, you've come to the right place.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: As always, before we get started, please remember that nothing that you hear on this podcast can be served medical advice or otherwise.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Please always consult your medical team before making any changes to your diabetes management.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, Graham's back.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: Graham's back for another episode.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't know much about me and Graham's story, we're two type 1s that have lived with type 1 diabetes for almost 50 years.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: So combined, we have almost 50 years of diabetes experience living with this condition, dealing with the ups and downs, and we really hope that we are inspiring you to think differently about how you are managing this condition.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's jump in.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Graham, what's up, man?
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: How are you doing?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Graham's eating popcorn.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm kind of joking.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: How do you know that?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: How do you know what popcorn about?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because I can see the popcorn going into your mouth.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: What's good about it?
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: What's that?
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_02: Homemade.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_02: Homemade bro controlled.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, there you go.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's what it that's where it's at.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: Homemade popcorn.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: Old fashioned.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: Old fashioned in the pot, shaking the pot.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's awesome.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: You do it that way?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I do.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Shake the pot.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: So what's up, man?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: How's it?
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: How's uh how's diabetes going?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: How's everything going?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: I know you have a topic to talk about today.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm excited to talk through this.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: You got some questions that you said before we pressed record that you have.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm always open.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: I always these are always fun.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_02: I always dive so fast into things so we can have a little bit of small talk.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: If I I had a a random question for you, did you have a particular finger?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: Do you ever do you have a finger that you went to for all your blood sugars, like an instinct finger?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I I have two.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: I have my right thumb and my right middle finger.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Or my right pointer finger.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: What?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: Say that this is say that again.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: My right thumb?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: My right thumb and my right pointer finger.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: Those are those are like my go-tos.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Now I try to be good enough.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: I try to be good that, you know, I constantly rotating, but I don't always do that.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: In the moment, I'm just like subs, you know, I'll just do the thumb.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like tip of the thumb, like fingerprint, tip of the finger, or like sides, body of the floor.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: Always the side.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: You should always f you should always do your finger picks on the side of your finger, not the mid part of your finger.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because the mid part of your finger, it's gonna go like you're gonna have the holes, you're you're constantly using that.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like this the constant pricking of the middle finger is gonna damage the damage the that part of the finger over time, especially if you're not rotating.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: So you always, always prick your finger on the side of your finger.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: Always, because it saves your fingers.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, you say always.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: I've never done that or or Well, yeah, and you probably have sores on your fingers, some of them.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: You probably have holes in the middle part of your fingers.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like I used to do the same thing.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then my nurse wife one time saw me pricking my finger, and she's like, Why are you pricking your finger in the middle part of your finger?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, What are you talking about?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, prick your finger on the side, it saves your finger.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh my God, that makes so much sense.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: So you're right-handed?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm right-handed, correct.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Both of your primaries are on your right hand?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Both my primaries, but again, I don't have to prick my finger that much unless the CGM is off.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: Hold on, hold on.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't have to prick my finger that much unless the CGM is off.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I do a pretty good job now, other than when I was not on a CGM and constantly using my fingers.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: I do a pretty good job now of rotating, so I'll use both hands.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: But my my go-to is my thumb and my pointer finger.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Mostly my right, but I also go to my left.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_02: All that I was gonna say is that I'm the same way, that I'm right hand dominant, but my primary sticks are on my right hand, meaning I'm holding the left hand, like all the work is happening with the left hand.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I and I was wondering why, like, why do we do that?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: If you're right hand dominant, why aren't you holding it in your right hand and sticking your left?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: Which obviously I think we all do, but it's funny to hear to hear that you have the exact same thing as me.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'm my dead middle finger on my right hand, even though I am right-handed, is my primary.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: So think about think about the way that you walk and what foot you lead with, or what hand you constantly lead with.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: Most people are opposite than their dom their dominant hand or dominant foot, right?
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: So my dominant if I'm playing sports and I'm kicking a ball, my dominant side of where I'm gonna kick is my right.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: But my plant foot, my stabilizer, is my left foot.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like basically.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's when I and when I go up for play basketball and I go up for a layup or I shoot or I step, or the first step of my run is always my left foot.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: Always.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it it a lot of times you are working con so it's it's the thought process of working what we call contralaterally to the to the actual motion or yeah, whatever the motion of what the task is going to be, right?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: So in terms of what you're talking about pricking your finger, the motion is you actually using your dominant hand to actually prick your finger, right?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes you go to the opposite, right?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: I I go to the left and I go to the right.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: Some people, like you're saying, you go mostly to the right.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: So it's kind of the same idea of like you you want your dominant, you in your case, Graham, I I feel like you want your dominant hand or your body wants your dominant hand to get the load of what's going on.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know what I mean?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: I I I don't think I'm making very much sense to you.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: I do.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: I think the obvious answer is once you hit, so if you're holding the pricker in your left and you hit the right hand, then the work falls into that dominant hand.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: So you're gonna like whether you're milking your fingers, whether you're placing the dot, whether you're like cleaning up after it, then you're doing it all with your dominant hand.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Correct.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: Did you that's funny a term that I said, like milking, like milking your fingers.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: Was that was that a trick taught to you by anybody or not using that word.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like like Yes, I know what you mean, right?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: Correct?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, this is diabetes show, and we should be talking about the real ways and the ways that we as diabetics do it.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: So, what's the real way of pricking your finger and taking your blood?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: You prick your finger, you wipe it off, and then you get more blood.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's what you're supposed to do.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I would say if you ask 10 diabetics, you might get one or two people that say you do they do that consistently.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like I don't ever wipe it off and get more.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: Hold on, but even more so, let's go back a step.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: I can think of a I can think 50% of the time when I prick myself, you don't see blood, but then you kind of milk it and then the blood comes out.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: If I that that must have been learned behavior, like how else, you know, Because well, probably because you saw your doctor do it multiple times too.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Because the doctor does that.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: The doctor will get a little blood out, they'll wipe it off, then it'll get a little more blood out.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: Hmm.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: I've just never I've never heard it say I've never heard it been described as milking.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Milking it?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, milking it.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: If you're listening to this or watching this on YouTube or Spotify, like let us know in the comments if you've ever, ever heard this.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: I've never heard it it called milking.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: It makes sense.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: You start you start at the palm, right?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_02: And you work your way all the way up the length of the finger and you like I don't do that.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_02: Do you do that?
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, I was taught that.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: I swear to god, I was taught that 30 years ago.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't do that.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because technically, if you really want to think about it, you should put your hand upside down, then.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because if your hands up upright, all the blood's rushing down your arm.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, sure.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: I think that I think the idea is that you're putting the force Exactly, exactly.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's like a pimple.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's like a pimple.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's like you you release, you release an area in the skin where everything just wants to flow out of there from.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: Gross.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, pimple's nasty.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, we already got distracted, and this is kind of a power thing.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: So let me go, let me go back.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: Because I I want to ask you something.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: I can't believe I've never asked you this.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you started with pricking your finger.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_02: I thought that was the question.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: That was totally random.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's go.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's just because I'm pricking my finger a lot more often, so I'm thinking about that.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: All right, let's go.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: You were solely dependent on relaying diabetes instructions through a person that's gonna then take care of somebody.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: How do you approach that process?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: Say I need clarification on the question.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: So a caregiver.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're okay.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: You're a caregiver.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah, yeah.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, how do you relay how do you relay all these little intricacies of diabetes to someone that's gonna be not living with it, but they're gonna like take it home and say, hey, here's what I learned today.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Everything, every single piece of education, everything exactly the same, except for one specific key point, right?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: That the caregiver, no matter how much they know, how good they are at managing diabetes, they can never do this one thing that is very important to diabetes management, which is actually the feelings, right?
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: So if if I'm sitting in front of a parent and educating the parent on how to manage their young kid's diabetes because the young kid isn't in a mature, they're they're not that they're immature, but they're they're so young that they need assistance and support on making diabetes decisions, right?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: So you you're not just coaching the individual, but you're really just coaching the parents on how to actually manage the condition, right?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so I would do the same thing if I'm sitting in front of a parent, a teenager, or an adult.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: I would teach them the same exact things based off of what's going on in that individual's diabetes.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: But with the caregiver, you can't talk about the mental piece with the individual.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: You have to change pillar one to actually talk about how is the parent or the caregiver dealing with that, dealing with diabetes and being the caregiver, right?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: So everything's exactly the same on how you would like interpret or or educate a caregiver outside of like a caregiver can't feel lows, they can't feel highs.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: If they're dealing with a, this is the sad part, the really sad part about all of this and being a caregiver, my heart goes out to all the caregivers.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: If I have a if I'm a caregiver and I'm managing a newborn or a young person who can't talk yet or hasn't learned the ability to talk yet, that person can't relay information to the parent, so the parent has to guess.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: The parent has to go off of body language.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's freaking challenging and difficult.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: So being able to maybe be an outside perspective, okay, we're seeing this type of body language and this is the situation.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Have you thought about X, Y, and Z?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh no, I haven't thought about that.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, maybe that's what this young, amazing person is trying to tell you.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean, I don't have tons of experience at that young age, but that that's how I that's how I would navigate that with a parent.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's just it's it's a challenging thing, feelings, because feelings feelings tell us so much.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: I learned so much about my diabetes management just based off of understanding and learning my feelings and what the feelings represent.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: High being high, being low, like the mental load of everything.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: All of the feelings taught me so much about how to manage diabetes.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like you now you have the caregiver.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: Not only are they trying to navigate their own emotions about everything, but they're trying to also navigate the complexities of managing the condition for their young kid, and they they can't feel anything, right?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm seeing a 150, but my young, my young diabetic's telling me that they feel low.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, 150 is not low.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the CGM might be off.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: The parent can't understand that.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: And then look at and then look at the newborn of the person that can't talk yet.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like that person can't tell the parent that they feel low.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: That person only thing that that per that that young person can do is cry.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: And crying can mean so many different things, right?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: So man, I I can't imagine that.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: It is that's gotta be so challenging.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: Have you on the opposite end of the spectrum, have you met a a parent or a caregiver that was helpless, that was just like beside themselves and their whoever it was wasn't taking care of themselves, and no matter what they did, it was just, you know, falling on deaf ears and one ear and out the other.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: Have you have you had a situation like that?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: Where the kid where the kid is not taking care of themselves?
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: Sure, or just a parent that a parent came to you who's like, yeah, my kid's diabetic and he's just not Oh, yeah, all the time.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: All the time.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: But the difference is is like that there's I feel like there's two different types of parents.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: And there and man, I hate to say this, but in the moment I'm thinking about this, I feel like there's two different types of parents, two different types of caregivers, right?
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: There's one who feels so overwhelmed that they can't understand the intricacies of how to deal with the complexities, deal with the decisions, be confident with the decisions.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: They're constantly in their head.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Just like a person like us who's diabetic and is trying to navigate everything and has to make all the decisions by themselves, right?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: So there's that type of parent.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then there's the parent that just rolls up their sleeve and sleeves and just tries to learn everything.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: Which can be good or bad.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: Which could be good or bad, right?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: So, and and then you have this other aspect of this, right?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: You've got those two types of personalities of parents, right?
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying either one is right or wrong.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's just how the parent deals with the condition and deals with all the decisions.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: So you have both of those different types of situations or different types of parents.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: And then whichever one it is, they have to relay that information and build a foundation for the young person to recognize how important and serious these decisions are and the impact that these decisions could have on their life now and in 20, 30, 40, 50 years.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's challenging because you look at when kids are diagnosed, whether it's a young person like you at eight years old, or a teenager, or 16, 17, 18, getting ready to go to college, or move out of mommy and daddy's house.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're getting, you're, you're getting diagnosed at any point of that.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's denial, there's depression, there's why me, there's, oh, I'm gonna, I'm so embarrassed.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's all of these things that these kids go through and they're not getting support on the mental side, and then they fall into, I'm just gonna let it go, I don't care.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: Or lying to their caregiver, their parent, like, oh yeah, I I checked and this is what it is.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like maybe they're not on CGM, maybe they're just on MDI, maybe they don't have a pump, maybe like whatever it is.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean, I've even I've even met parents that have told me that their child is like hoarding snacks in their bedroom.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it that's like normal behavior for a kid.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: I want some snacks, or I'm gonna do whatever.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, so it gosh.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's the flip side.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's a challenging thing.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: It's the flip side of where I always say, like, you know, diabetes replicates life because it does.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: It 100% does.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you're you're gonna go, you know, you change, you go through phases, you go, and I don't know, it's I guess diabetes comes with a decision, right?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like you can you kind of do have a decision to make, you know.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: And uh Yeah, I have a to leave it ambiguous, I have a relationship in my life, and she it's a woman is say like in her fifties.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: And she has a daughter who's a few years you know, maybe like ten years younger than me, and she like does not enjoy telling stories about her daughter anymore when I'm around because it's like she almost like feels like judged, you know, like because I'm so the opp you know, it's like I'm so the opposite of everything her daughter is doing, and uh So her her daughter's having a challenging time.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but it's more of like a refusal type of person, just like whatever, you know, like that but the refusal is a few.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: Diabetes is like number five.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: Diabetes isn't it number, you know, it comes it's number four, four or five on the on the important scale for her when she wakes up in the morning to this is very important, Graham, and we need to talk about this.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because everyone that's listening, and also Graham, know how passionate I am about the mental health piece of all this.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: I believe, whether it's a young kid or whether it's an adult, doesn't matter what age you are, the refusal to take care of your health, the refusal to take care of your diabetes comes from one specific thing.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Fear.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's what it comes from.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: It manifests in all it can manifest in all kinds of different ways, but it comes from fear.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: The fear of the unknown, the fear of lows, the fear of too much insulin, the fear of being judged from others, the fear of just not knowing what the hell to do.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: And and that is that is a very, let me say it one more time, very scary place to be in.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because it is so hard to remove yourself from those emotions.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it takes a guide, sometimes it takes a doctor, sometimes it takes a psychologist, sometimes it takes a coach, sometimes it takes a friend to pull you out of that.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it's and it's not just gonna happen, you snap your fingers.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's constant conversations to get to compound wins, small wins, on this person's on this person, so they build up some confidence and start opening their mind to being able to say, like, oh shit, like, yeah, I probably should take care of it.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's the same, it's the same thing as like we talk about other conditions out there, not just autoimmune conditions, other addictive conditions, alcoholism, smoking, what whatever it might be.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a health crisis for that type of person to make a change.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it's no different than with autoimmune conditions.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's no different.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: Thank God with me, when I was in denial and depression for four almost four years, thank God I didn't have like a big time DKA moment or pass out or have to go to the hot or have to be hospitalized.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: And if that would have happened, right, had a seizure, if that would have happened, that probably would have been the stepping stone for me to say, okay, I gotta take care of something.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I would have been like a lot of other people when it comes to actually make taking action in your health.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Is it sometimes, unfortunately, it takes some health crisis to snap you out of whatever state that you're in and actually make a change.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I love what I do and I love that there's coaches out there because myself and other people that are out there that that do this type of work can help you avoid those medical crises and help you and guide you to taking action before you get to that point.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: Hold on.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: So this is pretty not fun, I guess coincident.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to say funny, coincidental that you mentioned the junk food piece.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't say junk food.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_02: You mentioned something, you mentioned something that people are sneaking junk food.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: People are sneaking.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_02: Well, kids, kids sometimes.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, kids will will you know sneak that stuff like I want to have this candy, I want to have this these treats.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: But it's really funny you mentioned that because this this person that I'm talking to, one of the things she said to me before is her daughter's issue is the junk food, eating junk food.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I had a thought, and tell me if you relate, relate to this, understand this, that I do think there is a there's a bit of a mental condition with diabetics that some people cannot relinquish the sweets, the junk food, because they've been told you cannot have that, and it's almost like a panic.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_02: It's like a they are eating it, they are consuming it, they have it around.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: In a panic, like I'm I'm never gonna I never get to have this ever again.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: However, the caveat that that I always think is in the back of their head, they do know ultimately though, if I did make a if I make a stand like an alcoholic or a drug addict, if I might made a stand and I chose a day and I said, all right, today's the day I put this this this you know this sweet tooth aside, it would absolutely benefit my health, and and it's difficult.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's much easier said than done.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like nobody nobody said it's easy, but uh I do think that happens to die.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: I I and I and I I'm saying it because I've heard it a million times.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: I've heard I've heard it a thousand times, you know.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: I said a million and then a thousand.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: I've heard it a thousand, I've heard it a million times, type of thing, you know.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_02: So and I I I think it has to do with just the same thing.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: Processed food is addicting, processed food is it tastes amazing.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: You you name it, everything from white bread to ice cream to pasta, and I and I think that plays into it, and I think fast food plays into it and and and and cheap and convenient and and it's a it's it's a it's uh it's as deep, it seems as deep as a rut as alcoholism or a drug, like a you know, like especially for a diabetic that you cannot you can't break that s you know.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I guess I kinda get it.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like I guess I you know, but there's always been alternatives, I guess.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, I don't know.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: The the problem is the addictive piece, right?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because candy, sugar, isn't though versus saying like you can say whatever you want.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna totally disagree with you.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: It is an addictive process.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: I mean to somebody like me who's like your entire life is like you never got to eat the birthday cake because you're diabetic.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: But that's I'm gonna take a deep breath.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: What do you mean take a deep breath?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's just an experience, bro.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: But here's I feel sympathy for you.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: That plays into a kid, yeah.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: You don't understand what me.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hold on.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hold on.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta uh this has to be said.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like I have sympathy for you because you should have never been put in that situation.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: A young kid, a young kid should never, ever be put in a situation where they can't have cake at a birthday party.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: They can't have ice cream at a birthday party, they can't have something that, yeah, they probably shouldn't have at a soccer game or whatever it is.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: There is zero foods.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna say it again, zero foods that we absolutely can't have.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: There are 100% foods that you know are going to dramatically impact your blood sugar in negative ways, but there's never a situation where you should be saying to yourself, I can't eat that because I'm a diabetic.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: That creates the same emotions, Graham, that you are describing right now that you experienced and other people that that are wanting the the candy, wanting the sugar, deal with.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: There's never should be a time that you should say to yourself, I can't have that because I'm a diabetic.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: You 100% can have that, but you have to have a plan on how to dose for it.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's the difference.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: It can't just be, okay, I'm at a birthday party and I'm gonna have this little tiny slither piece of cake because I want it, cool, but then you don't take enough insulin and you don't pre-bolish.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you do take enough insulin, but you don't pre-bolish.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: You are going to spike and your blood sugars are going to go crazy.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: So do the little things when you are talking about eating things that are gonna really have a negative impact on your blood sugar, i.e., for me, pizza, I will never, ever, ever, ever give it up.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I've had to learn over time how to dose for it, and I don't get it right every single time.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: I don't.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: And if I don't get it right, I know for the next 24 hours I'm gonna have some, I'm gonna have up and downs because I'm trying to bring my system back into equilibrium.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: So there's never ever a time where we should say I can't eat that because I'm a diabetic.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: That is and that goes to also one of the things that pisses me off when people say that to us.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, can you have that?
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: Aren't you you can you have that sugar?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: You're a diabetic.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no, I can have this.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: Get out of my freaking face.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: No, I can have this.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: So that that you know, that needs to be understood, okay?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: Because as soon as you start associating that you can't have something because you're diabetic, you you start going down emotional roller coasters, especially as a young kid.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, now let's go to the candy piece or the the bad food piece that you were talking about.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: The addictive process of that ultra processed, we're really talking about ultra-processed sugars.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: That is a real thing.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: So if young kids or even us adults are eating a shitload of ultra processed sugar, that becomes a very addictive thing.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: So we constantly want that stuff.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not just the sugar piece.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: What does the sugar do?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's creating what?
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's creating inflammatory response in the brain.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: So when you eat tons of ultra-processed foods, one, your blood sugar is going to skyrocket.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: Even if you're gonna take a lot of insulin and you catch the blood sugar, maybe you do, maybe you're maybe you understand that process, you've eaten that food so many times, but you're still going to have an inflammatory response in the digestive system, and you're gonna have an inflammatory response in the brain.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: And that inflammatory response in the brain, part of it for the addictive process is, or part of it is you start now becoming addicted to that specific food.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: And this is why I always talk so much about nutrition with diabetes and just overall health.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you when you continue to have like the majority of your nutritional habits coming from ultra-processed foods, you're just compounding gasoline on the fire.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: I could eat whatever the heck I wanted to in my 20s and still be like thin with a six-pack, sometimes eight packs.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: I can't do that anymore.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: My system can't take it anymore.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: So these are very important things to kind of think about, especially for the caregiver, going back to what we're talking about, the caregiver, like make it allow your child to be a child, but you also have to put your foot in the sand when you have to put your foot in the sand.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: What if it's not a child?
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: If it's not a child, then that's again, it's not a good thing.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: What if it's like a what if it's what if it's a woman in her 60s trying to help her husband in her 70s?
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like I hear so much, like I hear so much of.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, this is a great point too.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: This is another great point.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: So in that situation, again, when when you get out of mommy's and daddy's house and all the decisions of your life now fall on you, no amount of like, no amount of stern talking to, no amount of like talking to from your wife or your or your husband or your spouse or your boyfriend, your girlfriend, or whatever it is, like no amount of that type of communication is gonna work on you to change behavior unless you are open to changing your behavior.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're gonna tune everything out.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why do you think that that we've got the funny story of like, you know, happy wife, happy life?
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: You just do whatever your wife wants you to do.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no, I'm not gonna do that.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: Because then I'm then I am allowing a specific behavior that I'm not comfortable with.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of me having a conversation with that person, me conversing my feelings and my emotions to that person, that's communication.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: But if I've got some type of addictive behavior, or I've got some type of behavior that's not good for my overall health or even my diabetes, and I'm not listening to someone that's trying to help me, that's on me.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's not on them.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: You can you can say that stuff to that person until you are blue in the face, but until they are open to actually making a behavioral change, they're not gonna do anything.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: They might they might put their feet in the lake, put their feet in the in in the water a little bit, but they're gonna run back to the car and drive away.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: So so if they're ready to make a behavioral change and they're ready to talk to somebody, who do you suggest they talk to?
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: Anyone that understands how to listen and give information.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: List a couple list a couple.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: A doctor, a psychologist, a dietitian, a coach, whoever it might be.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny the first funny the first thing that you said.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, are you wanting to flip it to the actual thing that I think you should go to coach, go to a dietitian, go go to a psychologist, go to your doctor last.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: How about that?
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: You wanna you wanna play both sides, you wanna play both sides of the game, bro?
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_02: This is both sides of the game, you know?
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_02: What are you talking about?
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_02: Play both sides of the game.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_02: Well, this is why I always say your doctor's your first line of defense in a moment like this.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: This is why I always say that to trust.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so you I need you to tell me right now, in this situation, this person's ready to make a behavioral change.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: I need you to tell me what a doctor's gonna do for that.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_02: And this is a perfect example of where I would I believe, what I believe, they need as as they need as much useful information as quickly as they can because they are Okay, so you give them all the information.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_02: There are limited.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm ready to make a change, I have a bad relationship with food, I'm ready to make a change.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_01: Help me, Doc.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not even being argumentative, it just seems to me like the best option.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: Your number one choice would be like, let's go back to the doctor that we've already established a relationship with and come with open ears and come with an open mind.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I think what if you have an open relationship with a psychologist?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: What if you have an open relationship with a dietitian?
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_01: What if you have an open relationship with a diet?
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's fine.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, but they're all medical professionals.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's my point.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um Yeah, I just think in a situation like this, you want to get into you want to get to the meat and potatoes of it as quickly as you can with somebody like also here's here's something I thought I've thought about.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like somebody that's kind of not I'm not saying they're out of time, but somebody that's kind of like has kind of messed around for a while.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_02: It's like let's get let's get you right ex quickly to where you need to be.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, as I thought about that like with this, with this woman, is it's like is it too late?
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: Is it too late already that her daughter's 25 the way that she's talking?
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: Hold on.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: But the way that she's talking about, like she's had a horrendous life with diabetes, like it's been a call it a decade already of horrendous diabetes.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, I I I don't know what I would ever, you know, I would love to try, but I don't know first thing is telling her the damage if the damage is already done, kind of thing, you know.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: So it took me 12 years to figure this out.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: I had a really bad time for the first five to six.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: At around five, I started waking up, but it still took me 10 to 12 years to figure out what works for me.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because I had to do it myself.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: Think about all the resources that are out there now.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: Our podcast, other podcasts, right?
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like Beyond Type 1, like the I mean, I can name a billion, not a billion, but a bunch of different resources that this person could, if they're really open to learning more, could easily start putting things into action.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, and I think learning more is the second.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_02: I think learning more is it's like, it's like what they say about anybody.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_02: You have to want, like, you have to want to quit.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_02: You have to want to change.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's the most important thing.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's the first stage.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's the first stage.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta want it.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta want to, you wanna, you gotta, you have to want to change your behavior.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: And and and not because, because this happens a lot with addictive personalities and people that are addicted to different things.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_01: You have to want to change because you want to change.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: You don't you you can't want to change because your wife or your spouse or your boyfriend or girlfriend or your friends want you to change.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's not gonna work.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: It'll work maybe for a a couple weeks, a month, depending on how good these people are at keeping you accountable, but that ain't gonna work forever.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna go back to your old habits once it starts getting really hard.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: But when when the flips when when everything flips and you're the one that actually wants to make the behavioral change, when it gets hard, the determination is har is higher for you.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_01: When you actually don't want to change or not in that mental state yet, and it gets really hard, it's really hard to quit.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_01: The amount of determination and motivation is not as high as if you are making the decision.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: And even if, and and I and and I know I'm talking about docs, and we need them, Graham.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: I swear to God we need them.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: But when you look at how the system works, when you look at the time that you have in front of that individual, that individual, I don't care if it's if they're really good with the mental piece or not, that individual cannot help you in 15 or 20 minutes.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: That individual probably still can't even help you if you if you're going to someone that's going to sit down with you for an hour.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's a compounding amount of follow-ups, it's a compounding amount of guidance, it's a compounding amount of homework and accountability for this person to actually take action.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: And the system's just not set up that way.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: If the system was set up like you, like it is for me coaching someone, oh my God, they would change the world.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: We wouldn't have lots of disease because they would have the time.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_01: Not that they don't have the knowledge, but they would they would have the time and the capacity and the resources to actually help you change behavior, which is why the medical system now is a reactive system.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_01: It treats disease, it doesn't prevent disease, it treats disease, it treats conditions.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I always say that the doctor's not the first line of defense.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: You need their opinion, like you need to go to them and get blood work done, and they can tell you, okay, this is what's happening, this is what's happening, this is what's happening.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_01: That still needs to be part of the process.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: But the process can't be, okay, well, yeah, my diabetes is all jacked up, I've got all this bloating going on, I can't see very well, all my joints hurt, so I'm gonna go to my doctor, and now they just order x-rays, now they just order blood work, now they just order MRIs, and then after it's all said and done, they're just giving you a bunch of medications.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's how the system works.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: And if you get in front of a good person, they might say, Okay, I need you, I need you to go see this person.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_01: Then they're gonna start pulling out the referrals and and but again, now you're seeing 10 different people instead of getting support from one specific person or two people.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's the beef I have with the way the system works.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: Not saying that we don't need the system because we do, but not not not to change behavior.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't work.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't work.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm going to see a psychologist because I have really bad mental problems, I'm not going to psychologist in a hospital.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to a private psychologist because they have the time and the energy to do it.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going, if I need something specific, I'm going to I'm going to try to go find a functional doctor because they have the time and the resources to do it.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_02: I would say the irony here is that we take it very seriously and we break it down, but we've all heard we've all heard someone like listing all their medical problems and they're like, I got this and I got that and I got the diabetes.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_02: And like it comes, it comes fourth or fifth on someone's list.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's like an afterthought, you know.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's like, Yeah, man.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's such a like um, you know, it's like socially accepted to not prioritize.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's like that's the best way to say it.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, yeah, that's you're completely right.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_02: We have so we I'll say it again.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's socially acceptable to not prioritize your diabetes.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: Type one or type two, and like see, I I I don't know, Graham.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think I disagree with that because I feel like type ones are prior for the most part, type ones are prioritizing their diabetes, they just don't have the information and the guidance to do it.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_01: Type two, I would say sometimes more more than maybe I would say type two is on the on the more extreme of I don't want to say extreme, but type two is on the more of like, hey, I'm not gonna take care of myself.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because for the most part, not every single time, but for the most part with type two diabetes, they're getting to that pos they're getting to that space because of the lifestyle decisions and how they've kind of lived their life.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_01: And again, not every single time, because there 100% are situations out there that people are making good just good choices, living good healthy lifestyles, don't have tons of stress, and they still get type 2 diabetes.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like so there are those examples, but say I'd say I understand what you're saying, yeah.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: I understand what you're saying.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_02: And this is something I think about.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's impacting our our longevity.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, you know, it's like it's not nothing is happening in the immediate, in the in in in the right now.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's all kind of like building up on the back end, or like down the road, like life is gonna be harder and more painful for us.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_01: And uh Well doesn't have to be.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying, like that's an auto but hold on, but even like talking about science, that's that's an autoimmune disease, though.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's that's that is the you know, our our body, our our our our immune system is not functioning.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: But that doesn't mean that you're doomed to have a a painful death or or go early or have a really bad time when you're 60, 70 years old.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't mean that.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying it's like it's the best advice in the world.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_02: Take care of your That is the best advice.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_02: Take care of your will wellness, or you'll be taking care of your illness, you know.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: And like I love when you say that, by the way.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: I love when you say that.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but it's so true, you know.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's like it really is like an It's not gonna be.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_02: I always think, I always say this to myself, it it won't be cute.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like, it's not gonna be cute when you're it's just it it won't, it won't be cute, you know.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I lost my dad at a pretty young age.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's at at the extreme, like it's not cute, it's not fun, it's not enjoyable.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not enjoyable for the individual, and it's not enjoyable for the people that are close to the people that are close to that person, yeah.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's interesting you say that because you I always think about like, you know, what are the reasons?
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: What are the true reasons that I want to take care of myself?
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it it for so long, and and there is still a big part of it, but for so long it was all about someone else.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_01: It was never really about me.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: I want I want to take care of myself because of this, because of my career path, because I am in this educational space, you have to be in this wellness space, and I gotta be the example.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I don't do a great job of that, but I gotta be the example, right?
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: That that's one reason why I try to take care of myself.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_01: The other reason is my wife.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be here for my wife, I want to be here for my kids, I want to be here for my friends and my family.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: And for so long that was the only reason until, you know, I would say even th only three or four years ago, maybe five years ago, when I really started honing in on myself and my identity and who I actually am, who I want to be, and practicing and and really working to be that individual.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_01: Now I'm the number one priority.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_01: And everybody else is secondary.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_01: That has completely changed the my mental state, how I deal with everyday decisions, how I deal with diabetes, it completely changed every all of it.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it was it was a com it was a a slow process of that change, 100%.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_01: But if I would have never been open to that, or really try to start practicing the confidence of being able to be in that space, I would still be in the old patterns of, okay, well, I'm gonna take care of myself, but I'm not taking care of myself because of me, I'm taking care of myself for everyone else.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's literally how my entire life has been.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: Doing something for someone else.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: For something with someone else.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_01: In middle school, I played a specific instrument for someone else, even though that person told me that I didn't have to.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: In college, I chose my degree because I wanted to help my brother because he was dealing with a lot of mental struggles.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I went into psychology, thought I could help him.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't choose that for me.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_01: I went to the college that I went to because of a girl I was kind of dating and kind of seeing.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_01: She was going there.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't I just went there because I didn't make the actual decision for me.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: So much of my life has been about making decisions based off of what I think other people want instead of making decisions based off of what I truly want.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't do that anymore.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_01: At least I try not to do that anymore.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I still do, but I try not to do that.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, this the the the decisions that you have to make as a father, you have to make as a spouse, you have to make as one of the, you know, financial people that are making money for your family.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're making that the I'm making those decisions.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Decisions for them.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_01: Not 100% always for me.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: But the big decisions I don't make for anybody else anymore.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_01: They're all for me.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think that was good, man.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for bringing that conversation to the table.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_01: I just I get so I get so passionately triggered when mental health stuff comes up.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_01: When I hear people talk about when I hear people talk about they can't do something because of diabetes, or diabetes is holding them back.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: It just triggers the crap out of me.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I just want to do everything in my power to hopefully explain with clarity why that isn't the case.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you real quick, the hands down, the worst part of diabetic as a kid when you're at like someone's house and the mom like holds you back in the kitchen and she's like, Lo, let me call your mom to see what eat what you can have.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_02: You're like it's like it's embarrassing and it's like uh Yeah.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you're like 12, 13, like I'll just do it.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_02: Like, no, no, no, no, no.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to like and then they like uh I'm not saying they're being selfish, but they make it about themselves, like, well, I don't want to like give you something and then I have to call the EMS and like I get it, but that was those moments impacted on but it was a different time, bro.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_02: Don't forget, it was a very different time.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_02: But that happens now though.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't have humil on for a very long time.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_01: I took regular, bro, so yeah.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean that stuff still happens nowadays.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_01: I know, you know, and it's and I I can't I can't I can't 100% percent speak to that because I've never been in that situation.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_01: I've never been in that situation from the parent side or the diabetic side.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_01: Think about this.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's a catch 22.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_02: An eight-year-old kid comes to your house with diabetes, you've never heard you don't even know you've heard of diabetes from your grandparent, you you they come up with needles and insulin and all this shit, and you you hear that they can die from it.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's that's like Yeah, but but if if a diabetic is coming to your house because they're a friend of one of your kids, you've you've had conversations with their parents.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_01: I know with that diabetic's parents.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's not like it's not like I'm going home and I'm bringing a bunch of friends from the park and one of them's diabetic, and oh, he wants some food.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like that that's not what we're talking about.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I I think that's also an important piece.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like this person's just showing up at your house as the caregiver or as the parent, not even the caregiver, as the parent, and now you're responsible for their medical life.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_01: That that's not a I'm sure it happens sometimes, but I would say it happens less than the other, where you have something planned with a friend of your kid, and that friend you is is is diabetic.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_01: You've had conversations with the parents, that friend is bringing their all of their supplies, that you know, their their parent has that friend's parents has communicated and talked to the other parent about everything.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like this was the nineties, bro.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_01: This was the nineties, bro.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter if it was the nineties or not, man.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so you're telling me that you would just show up at random friends' house and their parents didn't know you were diabetic.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_01: Probably.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think so.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_02: But like you're they're like, yeah, yeah, we heard you're we heard you we heard you bring orange juice with you.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, done.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, I just bring orange juice with me in case I'm low.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_01: Done.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: Done.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_01: Done.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_01: No more conversation.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_01: No more conversation.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_01: I get it.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_01: Over overnight, overnight, different story, right?
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_01: There has to be a lot of people.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, your only experience with diabetes was hearing that it's like, you know, your grandfather died from a that's scary.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_01: I get it.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying it's not scary.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's not.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying that at all.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying it's not scary for the parent that's in charge of this person.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's not their child.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's scary too.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody, thank you so much for listening.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_01: As always, make sure that you follow, like the show on YouTube, Spotify.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_01: The Spotify now has video, so if you like listening to the episode, you can actually watch the video while you watch the episodes.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of cool now.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, make sure you follow and like the show.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_01: And the other thing that I really that me and Graham really want you to do is share this episode with somebody.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_01: Share the podcast with somebody.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_01: So your homework this week is to share the podcast with one person that doesn't know about it.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_01: One person that you know that's a diabetic that maybe doesn't listen to the show.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe they'll maybe they do listen to the show and that's great.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_01: But that's your homework this week.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: Try to share the show with one person that you know that lives with diabetes.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: Whether they're across the pond, whether they're in the U.S., whether they're across states, whether they live right next to you, it doesn't matter.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_01: Try to share the podcast with one person.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's your homework.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: If you can do that, oh my God, I love you and you're amazing.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_01: But you're also amazing and I love you anyway.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_01: So share the podcast with somebody.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for listening, everybody, and we will see you guys next time.