Latest / The Joy Jolt Podcast / Live with The Joy Jolt: Featuring bestselling author Arielle Ford
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_01: Here we are.
- 0:01SPEAKER_01: We're live.
- 0:03SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Joy Jolt Podcast, everyone.
- 0:05SPEAKER_01: My name is Natalie Ledwell.
- 0:07SPEAKER_01: And I'm Susan Patrick.
- 0:08Super excited to be here and give you a little bit of jolt of
- 0:11energy,
- 0:12jolt of joy today.
- 0:13SPEAKER_01: Yes.
- 0:14SPEAKER_02: And we are joined by our very good friend, Ariel Ford.
- 0:17SPEAKER_02: How are you, Ariel?
- 0:19SPEAKER_02: I am jumping for joy.
- 0:21SPEAKER_02: Yay!
- 0:24SPEAKER_01: We love, I think that's your necklace.
- 0:26SPEAKER_01: We love that you are here.
- 0:27SPEAKER_01: Is that what I'm seeing?
- 0:28SPEAKER_01: Yes.
- 0:29SPEAKER_01: Love, love, love.
- 0:31SPEAKER_02: So Ariel is, where's the moniker of Queen Aja?
- 0:36SPEAKER_02: And we're going to unpack what that means.
- 0:40And we were just having a little chat before we went live today
- 0:43about what the word
- 0:46SPEAKER_02: retirement means.
- 0:48you know what that actually means or what they could look like
- 0:52and how you can
- 0:53navigate that time of your life with joy so this is what we're
- 0:59going to be
- 0:59unpacking today so welcome to all of you who are joining us
- 1:03live if you have any
- 1:04questions or anything that you'd like to contribute while we're
- 1:07here please make
- 1:08SPEAKER_02: sure that you type it in the chat box there
- 1:11SPEAKER_02: So let's start,
- 1:13SPEAKER_02: Arielle,
- 1:14with the term Queen Ager because I know that you've started
- 1:17using that of late and
- 1:20SPEAKER_02: I love that term.
- 1:22SPEAKER_02: Love.
- 1:23SPEAKER_02: Love.
- 1:23SPEAKER_00: So what does that term mean to you?
- 1:25SPEAKER_00: Well,
- 1:26SPEAKER_00: for me,
- 1:26SPEAKER_00: a Queen Ager is a woman of a certain age,
- 1:30SPEAKER_00: let's just say over 45,
- 1:32SPEAKER_00: somewhere between 45 and deaf,
- 1:35SPEAKER_00: who has as much freedom as a teenager
- 1:40you know and as much curiosity and wants to explore the world
- 1:44and have adventures
- 1:46only now she has the keys to the car and the credit card and
- 1:51can do anything she
- 1:52wants so I first came across the term from Chip Conley from
- 1:58Modern Elder Academy
- 2:00and I did some research on it it turns out there's this woman
- 2:03in the UK that
- 2:04actually coined the term only she uses it much differently she
- 2:08uses Queen Ager
- 2:10SPEAKER_00: for women who are having a hard time finding work because of their age.
- 2:15SPEAKER_00: That's what happened to her.
- 2:17SPEAKER_00: She was a pretty well-known print journalist.
- 2:20And then she got laid off and,
- 2:23you know,
- 2:23it just threw her whole world upside down.
- 2:26SPEAKER_00: But for me, being Queen Agers, like I'm a seven in the Enneagram.
- 2:30SPEAKER_00: I'm all about the party and the fun.
- 2:32SPEAKER_01: That's why we love you.
- 2:33SPEAKER_01: And I want to keep having parties and fun.
- 2:35SPEAKER_01: Let's see, I think we're all sevens, Heath.
- 2:37SPEAKER_00: I think we might all be sevens.
- 2:38SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
- 2:39SPEAKER_00: You know, we should probably do a seven retreat.
- 2:43SPEAKER_00: No downer people allowed.
- 2:46SPEAKER_01: A party retreat for partiers?
- 2:48SPEAKER_01: Yes, there you go.
- 2:49SPEAKER_01: That sounds like a joy jolt.
- 2:51Okay,
- 2:51type now in the chat functionality if you'd like to go to the
- 2:53seven joy jolt retreat.
- 2:57SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so anyone can declare themselves a Queen Ager.
- 3:00I actually have a Facebook group page up where there's a quiz
- 3:05that you can take
- 3:06SPEAKER_00: to see what kind of queen age you are, because there are culture queens.
- 3:11SPEAKER_00: There are.
- 3:14SPEAKER_00: What are they?
- 3:15There's one that's all about the environment and there's the
- 3:18fashion queens.
- 3:20SPEAKER_00: You can take this quiz to determine what kind you are.
- 3:24SPEAKER_00: I should know this stuff.
- 3:26SPEAKER_00: But anyway,
- 3:26SPEAKER_00: if you just go to Facebook and look up Queen Agers Celebrate,
- 3:31SPEAKER_00: you can ask to get the quiz and join for free.
- 3:34SPEAKER_00: We don't charge anything to anybody.
- 3:36I love it I love it because your your handle here on Substack is
- 3:41at Aria Ford but
- 3:43SPEAKER_02: the name of your publication is Musings of a Dream Agents
- 3:47SPEAKER_00: Oh, I didn't even, I don't really understand Substack.
- 3:50SPEAKER_00: I don't understand much technology.
- 3:51SPEAKER_00: I'm like a true dinosaur.
- 3:53SPEAKER_00: You don't need to, Dowling.
- 3:54SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
- 3:55SPEAKER_00: You don't need to.
- 3:56Well,
- 3:56and I don't,
- 3:57you know,
- 3:57it's like I have figured out,
- 4:00writing's my thing.
- 4:01SPEAKER_00: I can write and then I can cut and paste and put up one photo.
- 4:06SPEAKER_00: That's what I can do.
- 4:07SPEAKER_00: And beyond that, no skills, you know.
- 4:10SPEAKER_00: And people say, well, how many followers do you have?
- 4:11SPEAKER_00: I was like, I have followers.
- 4:13SPEAKER_00: You're like, where are they?
- 4:15SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
- 4:16SPEAKER_00: It's like I write for myself and then if it helps somebody else,
- 4:20SPEAKER_00: well,
- 4:20SPEAKER_00: that's kind of a nice bonus.
- 4:22SPEAKER_02: Well, that's a great place to do that on Substack.
- 4:25yeah it's a great place for for writers for for artists and so
- 4:29forth and yeah so
- 4:31it's a good place for that um so would the other thing I want
- 4:36to I want to chime in
- 4:37because you said something that I think is so important to
- 4:39emphasize I love that in
- 4:41your definition it's it's it's that you're owning curiosity and
- 4:47I think about how
- 4:48SPEAKER_01: curiosity and joy go hand in hand but so many times as we age
- 4:53SPEAKER_01: Both of those things feel like they wane.
- 4:56And so what do you do to just because that's one thing I love
- 4:59about your energy,
- 5:00SPEAKER_01: you are curious,
- 5:01SPEAKER_01: you are doing your in creation,
- 5:04SPEAKER_01: how and where does your sense of curiosity,
- 5:07SPEAKER_01: where does it come from?
- 5:09I absorb a lot of media so I get all day long I'm getting
- 5:13alerts and it's from
- 5:16media like the New York Times knows what I like so I'm like oh
- 5:19here's an article
- 5:20you're gonna like here's a story about this you're gonna like
- 5:22and the LA Times is
- 5:23sending me stuff and I'm scrolling on social media looking for
- 5:28articles and stories
- 5:29SPEAKER_00: and stuff and then my husband watches a lot of TV and he DVRs everything
- 5:37SPEAKER_00: So all day long, he's saving things to show me.
- 5:40SPEAKER_00: Like right before we got on here,
- 5:42SPEAKER_00: he was showing me the latest Jon Stewart rant,
- 5:46SPEAKER_00: which I was laughing so hard.
- 5:48SPEAKER_00: I get a lot of joy from comedy.
- 5:51SPEAKER_00: Yes.
- 5:52And then I had never actually watched a visual podcast until my
- 5:58husband was
- 5:59SPEAKER_00: discovering all these people.
- 6:00SPEAKER_00: It's like, no, no, no, you got to sit down.
- 6:02SPEAKER_00: You got to see this guy named Rich Roll and you got to see this one.
- 6:05SPEAKER_01: Yep.
- 6:06SPEAKER_00: So I'm constantly looking.
- 6:07SPEAKER_00: And then when I find a new word or a new phrase that I glom onto,
- 6:13SPEAKER_00: then I start writing about it and having fun with it.
- 6:15SPEAKER_00: So I
- 6:17Doing stuff like that really works and then going to live
- 6:19comedy shows and going to
- 6:20SPEAKER_00: live music,
- 6:22SPEAKER_00: that sort of thing.
- 6:23SPEAKER_00: I want to be out, you know, I want to be in the fresh air.
- 6:26I want to I want to see who's living in the surrounding
- 6:29neighborhoods,
- 6:30you know.
- 6:31There's a woman who lives across the street from us who I
- 6:34nicknamed Mrs.
- 6:35Kravitz.
- 6:35SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I'm referencing?
- 6:37SPEAKER_00: There was a TV show named Bewitched.
- 6:40SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 6:41SPEAKER_00: Mrs. Kravitz.
- 6:41SPEAKER_00: I really know that name.
- 6:42SPEAKER_00: Nosy neighbor was named Mrs. Kravitz.
- 6:45SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 6:45SPEAKER_00: We have one who lives across the street from us.
- 6:48SPEAKER_00: But the truth is, I'm really kind of like a Mrs. Kravitz.
- 6:51SPEAKER_00: I don't know who's doing what and how.
- 6:53SPEAKER_01: I love that.
- 6:54SPEAKER_01: I love that.
- 6:56SPEAKER_02: So the life that you've built for yourself now,
- 7:01SPEAKER_02: that you get to enjoy and that you get to love,
- 7:03SPEAKER_02: is this your version of joy?
- 7:05I know we were talking before about the difference between joy
- 7:08and happiness.
- 7:09SPEAKER_02: Like is joy the journey to happiness?
- 7:12SPEAKER_02: You know, what's the end goal?
- 7:15SPEAKER_00: Well, for a long time, in my 20s, I was very depressed.
- 7:19SPEAKER_00: I was seeing a psychiatrist.
- 7:21SPEAKER_00: I was suicidal, taking drugs for it.
- 7:24SPEAKER_00: I was just a mess.
- 7:26SPEAKER_00: And I decided one day when I was 28,
- 7:28SPEAKER_00: I was at this very fancy schmancy party in Key Biscayne,
- 7:32SPEAKER_00: Florida.
- 7:33SPEAKER_00: And I thought, everybody's having so much fun.
- 7:35SPEAKER_00: I'm the only one not having fun.
- 7:37And I decided in that moment,
- 7:39I was going to dedicate my life to figuring out how to be
- 7:42happy.
- 7:43SPEAKER_00: And I started studying happy people.
- 7:46And the first two happy people I focused on was my aunt on each
- 7:50side of my father's
- 7:51SPEAKER_00: sister,
- 7:52SPEAKER_00: my mother's sister.
- 7:53and what I noticed about them was that they were the happiest
- 7:56people I knew because
- 7:57SPEAKER_00: they didn't have any children.
- 7:58SPEAKER_00: And I thought, that's the first thing I'm going to do.
- 8:00SPEAKER_00: No kids.
- 8:03SPEAKER_00: Because the most miserable people I knew were mothers.
- 8:08SPEAKER_00: So no kids.
- 8:09SPEAKER_00: No comment from me about that.
- 8:11SPEAKER_00: There we go.
- 8:13And yeah,
- 8:14so I started doing that kernel of truth,
- 8:16kernel of truth,
- 8:18finding happiness.
- 8:19SPEAKER_00: But then as I,
- 8:20SPEAKER_00: you know,
- 8:21SPEAKER_00: over the years,
- 8:22SPEAKER_00: because I'm a pretty good student,
- 8:24SPEAKER_00: you know,
- 8:24SPEAKER_00: and I I did every self-help course.
- 8:27SPEAKER_00: I represented every self-help author known to man.
- 8:30And I learned a little bit or sometimes more than a little bit
- 8:32from each one.
- 8:34SPEAKER_00: But then I noticed most of them weren't really happy people.
- 8:39SPEAKER_00: They were very ambitious people, but not necessarily happy.
- 8:44SPEAKER_00: And I remember thinking one day, okay, well, what's beyond happiness?
- 8:51SPEAKER_00: And I found this Sanskrit word called Santosha.
- 8:56SPEAKER_00: Actually, I had this thing made on Etsy.
- 8:59SPEAKER_00: Santosha.
- 9:00I would have put it in the chat,
- 9:02S-A-N-T-O-S-H.
- 9:03And it means utter contentment.
- 9:10SPEAKER_00: and I started to realize that happiness wasn't the place to get to,
- 9:15SPEAKER_00: because let's say,
- 9:16SPEAKER_00: OK,
- 9:16SPEAKER_00: I want a new job.
- 9:17SPEAKER_00: I want a new car.
- 9:18SPEAKER_00: I want a new boyfriend.
- 9:19SPEAKER_00: I want this diamond necklace.
- 9:21SPEAKER_00: And you get all those things.
- 9:23SPEAKER_00: And then when they go away, you're not happy anymore.
- 9:25SPEAKER_00: I saw that happiness was dependent on people, places and experiences.
- 9:30SPEAKER_00: But contentment is the choice.
- 9:33SPEAKER_00: That's the choice that regardless of what's happening around me,
- 9:37SPEAKER_00: I'm going to choose just for this moment,
- 9:39SPEAKER_00: not like what's going to happen tomorrow,
- 9:41SPEAKER_00: but right now in this moment,
- 9:43SPEAKER_00: I'm going to choose contentment.
- 9:45SPEAKER_00: So when I first started doing it,
- 9:47SPEAKER_00: I would say things to myself,
- 9:49SPEAKER_00: well,
- 9:50SPEAKER_00: you know,
- 9:50SPEAKER_00: in spite of XYZ happening,
- 9:53SPEAKER_00: I have people who love me and I would visually see them in my head.
- 9:57SPEAKER_00: I have fresh air to breathe, clean water to drink, a chair to sit in.
- 10:03SPEAKER_00: food to eat.
- 10:04SPEAKER_00: And it may not be the food I want or the chair that I'm hoping for.
- 10:08SPEAKER_00: But I can choose in this moment to have Santosha.
- 10:12SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 10:12And that's made all the difference because,
- 10:15you know,
- 10:16I no longer have a bucket list.
- 10:18SPEAKER_00: I no longer have a wish list.
- 10:19SPEAKER_00: I no longer have a vision board.
- 10:21SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't need a vision board.
- 10:23SPEAKER_00: You know, it's and the craziest thing about it is the more I've let go of
- 10:29coming from a place of ego or willfulness oh I want this
- 10:34because you know I taught
- 10:35this shit for years I know how to make stuff happen but what I
- 10:40do like yeah sure I
- 10:43can I can manifest just about anything yeah but I saw during
- 10:47the pandemic when I
- 10:48was the most miserable during the pandemic is I'm a seven I
- 10:52can't go anywhere I
- 10:53SPEAKER_00: can't handle anybody um
- 10:56SPEAKER_00: I saw that the biggest,
- 10:57SPEAKER_00: greatest,
- 10:57SPEAKER_00: most amazing stuff that ever happened to me,
- 11:00SPEAKER_00: I did not manifest.
- 11:02And I saw that I didn't manifest it because my imagination
- 11:06wasn't big enough to
- 11:07SPEAKER_00: actually dreamed up the stuff that fell into my lap.
- 11:12Where it came from was getting to a low point of misery where I
- 11:17threw up my hands
- 11:18SPEAKER_00: and I just said,
- 11:18SPEAKER_00: okay,
- 11:19SPEAKER_00: God,
- 11:20SPEAKER_00: Just show me the next little baby step.
- 11:22SPEAKER_00: I don't know what to do.
- 11:24I'll look for the breadcrumbs and the breadcrumbs led me to the
- 11:29most amazing stuff.
- 11:31SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 11:31SPEAKER_00: So now just to sort of wrap it up,
- 11:34SPEAKER_00: I plan to spend the rest of my life not being willful,
- 11:37SPEAKER_00: not consciously manifesting,
- 11:39SPEAKER_00: but just like opening my arms and receiving my destiny.
- 11:44SPEAKER_00: And whatever that is, I'm just going to embrace that and make it fun.
- 11:50SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 11:51SPEAKER_01: Yes.
- 11:51SPEAKER_01: Well, our definition of joy is just open yourself.
- 11:55SPEAKER_01: Open yourself.
- 11:55SPEAKER_01: And I see it.
- 11:56SPEAKER_01: You can't see my arms right now because I'm cut off on the...
- 11:58SPEAKER_01: I know.
- 11:59SPEAKER_01: We're only going to sliver.
- 12:02SPEAKER_01: But it's the physical act of opening your arms to the world,
- 12:07SPEAKER_01: opening your heart,
- 12:08SPEAKER_01: opening your mind,
- 12:09SPEAKER_01: opening yourself.
- 12:10SPEAKER_01: Just open yourself.
- 12:12SPEAKER_01: We're living in such a world of so much tension.
- 12:14SPEAKER_01: And I was hearing you say,
- 12:16you're not living by those lists and making those hundred phone
- 12:18calls and doing all
- 12:19SPEAKER_01: these things,
- 12:19SPEAKER_01: which,
- 12:20SPEAKER_01: gosh,
- 12:20SPEAKER_01: as you were saying it,
- 12:21SPEAKER_01: it's like,
- 12:21SPEAKER_01: God,
- 12:22SPEAKER_01: how many people are living so
- 12:26SPEAKER_00: Tight and closed.
- 12:27SPEAKER_00: Hey,
- 12:27I was phrased with my list that if I did something that wasn't
- 12:32on the list,
- 12:33SPEAKER_00: I would write it down just so I could cross it off.
- 12:36SPEAKER_01: Whoa.
- 12:37SPEAKER_01: All right.
- 12:38SPEAKER_00: And I thought, this is so stupid.
- 12:41SPEAKER_00: No one ever looks at my list.
- 12:43SPEAKER_00: Oh, look at my list.
- 12:44SPEAKER_00: I'm still doing old school.
- 12:47SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
- 12:48SPEAKER_00: I still have one.
- 12:49SPEAKER_00: Yes.
- 12:50But it's only because my memory's gotten so bad that if I don't
- 12:54write it down,
- 12:55SPEAKER_00: it won't get done.
- 12:56SPEAKER_00: But so it's different now.
- 12:58It's not about like,
- 12:59oh,
- 12:59I,
- 12:59you know,
- 13:00I got to reach my goal of 100 calls a day.
- 13:02SPEAKER_00: That's right.
- 13:03SPEAKER_00: That's gone.
- 13:03SPEAKER_00: But now it's just like, oh, my stupid memory.
- 13:06SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah.
- 13:08SPEAKER_02: So what I also love about what you're saying,
- 13:10SPEAKER_02: and this is something I've become to realise,
- 13:13SPEAKER_02: because,
- 13:14SPEAKER_02: you know,
- 13:15SPEAKER_02: this last year has been a doozy,
- 13:17SPEAKER_02: like a doozy of all doozies.
- 13:20SPEAKER_02: And when I think about,
- 13:21SPEAKER_02: you know,
- 13:22SPEAKER_02: manifesting,
- 13:23SPEAKER_02: because,
- 13:23SPEAKER_02: you know,
- 13:24SPEAKER_02: with my movies,
- 13:24SPEAKER_02: I've been teaching that for 18 years.
- 13:27SPEAKER_02: What I'm thinking about now is not necessarily stuff.
- 13:30SPEAKER_02: It's like you were saying before.
- 13:32SPEAKER_02: Now it's like, how do I want to feel?
- 13:35SPEAKER_02: Yes.
- 13:36SPEAKER_02: How do I want to feel and who do I want to be?
- 13:39Which is why Susie and I have teamed up with The Joy Jolt here
- 13:43because it's like
- 13:44SPEAKER_02: it's not about,
- 13:45SPEAKER_02: you know,
- 13:46SPEAKER_02: doing things,
- 13:47SPEAKER_02: accumulating things,
- 13:48SPEAKER_02: achieving things as much as it used to be.
- 13:52SPEAKER_02: But for me it's more about, well, how do I want to feel?
- 13:55SPEAKER_02: Because when we're feeling happiness and joy and gratitude,
- 13:59SPEAKER_02: then we manifest things we didn't even know we wanted.
- 14:03SPEAKER_02: without a lot of effort.
- 14:04SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
- 14:05But for me,
- 14:07the goal these days is to be in that frequency as much as I
- 14:11possibly can.
- 14:11SPEAKER_00: It is a frequency.
- 14:12SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
- 14:13SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's totally it.
- 14:14SPEAKER_00: It's like this.
- 14:15SPEAKER_01: No, I'm just kidding.
- 14:19SPEAKER_01: But I think it's a frequency.
- 14:21SPEAKER_01: It's a learned plugging into.
- 14:23SPEAKER_01: And it's like,
- 14:24I think people are more used to the frequency of busy and tense
- 14:29than like joy is
- 14:31SPEAKER_01: contentment.
- 14:32SPEAKER_01: Joy is peaceful.
- 14:34SPEAKER_01: Like, I think we think joy is like, like, no, joy.
- 14:38Joy is actually being able to take an intentional deep breath
- 14:41in and really just
- 14:43SPEAKER_01: smile in the moment.
- 14:45SPEAKER_01: Just be like, you know, to yourself.
- 14:48SPEAKER_01: So I think that frequency, I think that's a learned skill.
- 14:52And the other piece to that is because there still are things
- 14:56that will rattle me,
- 14:57SPEAKER_00: plug me in,
- 14:58SPEAKER_00: piss me off.
- 15:00SPEAKER_00: Only now I've trained myself.
- 15:03SPEAKER_00: I don't react,
- 15:05SPEAKER_00: you know,
- 15:05SPEAKER_00: and then I get out my spiritual toolkit,
- 15:07SPEAKER_00: which is,
- 15:08SPEAKER_00: you know,
- 15:09it's either EFT tapping or the Sedona method or taking a
- 15:13lavender bath or cutting
- 15:15cords or doing all of those things until I can get back to what
- 15:20I like to call my
- 15:21SPEAKER_00: heart neutral space.
- 15:23SPEAKER_00: I'm not up here.
- 15:24SPEAKER_00: I'm not down there.
- 15:25SPEAKER_00: I just want to get to neutral.
- 15:29and breathe as opposed to,
- 15:31I can't believe that person just did blah,
- 15:34blah,
- 15:34blah.
- 15:34SPEAKER_00: I'm just going to rip them a new one.
- 15:38SPEAKER_01: That's huge advice.
- 15:41SPEAKER_01: Whoever's going to watch the recording of this,
- 15:43SPEAKER_01: it's so easy to say,
- 15:45SPEAKER_01: but it is really a conscious practice to do,
- 15:48getting to the neutral space because it's in that spot where
- 15:52now you have choice.
- 15:54Because when you're not neutral,
- 15:56you are applying meaning to whatever's happening around you.
- 16:00SPEAKER_01: And so that lavender bath, really important.
- 16:04SPEAKER_00: Oh, and that works so well.
- 16:06Yeah,
- 16:06my bathtub gets a big workout at least once a day,
- 16:09sometimes twice a day.
- 16:10That's actually my creative space,
- 16:12like being in water,
- 16:14you know,
- 16:15and just kind of.
- 16:17SPEAKER_00: and I'm very fortunate that my bathtub has an ocean view.
- 16:20SPEAKER_00: So it's got a breeze coming through.
- 16:23SPEAKER_00: And quite often, my dead sister will talk to me when I'm in the bathtub.
- 16:28SPEAKER_00: It's always like a wild surprise.
- 16:32SPEAKER_00: In my head, I'll have a question about something.
- 16:34SPEAKER_00: And then I hear this voice say, oh, call this one, do that.
- 16:40SPEAKER_01: What is your sister's name?
- 16:42SPEAKER_01: Her name's Debbie Ford.
- 16:43Debbie Ford hi Debbie she doesn't have to log in hey Debbie
- 16:49she's probably saying
- 16:50you don't know who I am sorry she was very famous she was very
- 16:58famous she was on
- 16:59Oprah multiple times multiple times yeah and she was she was a
- 17:02bit of a pioneer in
- 17:03our you know space yeah she wrote it she wrote a book called
- 17:06the dark side of the
- 17:07SPEAKER_00: light chaser she was all about shadow work
- 17:09SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
- 17:10SPEAKER_00: And I was her guinea pig, so imagine what that was like.
- 17:15SPEAKER_01: It sounds like it still is like.
- 17:18SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 17:20SPEAKER_00: Love it.
- 17:21SPEAKER_00: You know, it's fun.
- 17:22SPEAKER_00: I love it when dead people come to me and give me messages.
- 17:26SPEAKER_00: It's just because I know they're just like right there.
- 17:29SPEAKER_00: Right there.
- 17:30I mean,
- 17:30you can't really hug them,
- 17:31which is kind of a bummer,
- 17:33but they're never gone.
- 17:35SPEAKER_01: The veil is so thin.
- 17:36SPEAKER_01: And once we get past our own human grief,
- 17:39SPEAKER_01: which is that's the quagmire of kind of the physical experience.
- 17:43It is like the relationship with the veil is so different on
- 17:46that when you're on
- 17:46SPEAKER_01: the other side of that grief.
- 17:48SPEAKER_01: You know,
- 17:48I my mom's been gone for 20 years and she still continues to be
- 17:52such a huge source
- 17:53SPEAKER_01: of joy in my life.
- 17:55SPEAKER_01: And so I really love that.
- 17:58SPEAKER_00: I have to tell you the funniest story.
- 18:00SPEAKER_00: Somebody.
- 18:01Oh,
- 18:01Marcy Shyamoff gifted me a reading with this channeler and it
- 18:07took like forever.
- 18:07SPEAKER_00: But I finally got on the phone with this woman.
- 18:10and she said don't say a word I'm just going to start talking
- 18:14and she said first
- 18:16thing that's happening is your mother Sheila she named her by
- 18:19name your mother
- 18:20Sheila is here and she wants you to know she forgives you for
- 18:25selling her car
- 18:28SPEAKER_00: Because when she was still alive, she shouldn't have been driving.
- 18:32SPEAKER_00: So I just sold her car.
- 18:33SPEAKER_00: And I just thought, this is for real.
- 18:36SPEAKER_00: How does this woman who doesn't even know my last name,
- 18:39SPEAKER_00: knows nothing about me,
- 18:40SPEAKER_01: and she's talking to my mother.
- 18:42SPEAKER_00: And my mother was a very funny person.
- 18:45SPEAKER_00: So she starts with, yeah, I'm forgetting.
- 18:47SPEAKER_00: Well,
- 18:47SPEAKER_01: and I love,
- 18:47SPEAKER_01: too,
- 18:48because I feel like that's part of when you are in what you're
- 18:51describing as that
- 18:52SPEAKER_01: opening your arms to the world.
- 18:54That just really struck me as you said that it's like you're
- 18:56opening yourself to
- 18:58SPEAKER_01: things that are beyond explanation,
- 19:00SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 19:01and then all of a sudden the world is a little bit more playful
- 19:03and you can enjoy,
- 19:04SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 19:06SPEAKER_01: your relationship with your dead mother,
- 19:08SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 19:09SPEAKER_01: and your dead sister.
- 19:10And like,
- 19:10you know,
- 19:11but if you're not open,
- 19:13that conversation feels totally different.
- 19:15SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 19:16SPEAKER_00: And there's people who don't believe it.
- 19:17SPEAKER_00: They think it's like this better not be it.
- 19:23SPEAKER_00: I've had lots of lifetimes on planet Earth,
- 19:25SPEAKER_00: and I enjoyed most of them,
- 19:27SPEAKER_00: and I'm not coming back.
- 19:29SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're not coming back.
- 19:31SPEAKER_00: I'm not coming back to this space and time.
- 19:34SPEAKER_00: I want to try something new.
- 19:35SPEAKER_00: Try something new.
- 19:36SPEAKER_00: Curiosity.
- 19:37SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sounds like that's right.
- 19:39SPEAKER_01: What's next?
- 19:40SPEAKER_01: What's next?
- 19:40SPEAKER_01: Right?
- 19:41SPEAKER_01: Where else is next?
- 19:41SPEAKER_01: So,
- 19:42SPEAKER_02: Arielle,
- 19:42SPEAKER_02: it sounds like you have a lot of things that you do throughout your day,
- 19:46SPEAKER_02: and when we come back for our paid subscribers,
- 19:50SPEAKER_02: I'd really love to dig deeper into your spiritual toolkit.
- 19:54SPEAKER_02: Some tangible things that they can apply themselves.
- 19:59But what are some of the things other than practices that you
- 20:03do to protect your joy?
- 20:04SPEAKER_00: Oh,
- 20:07SPEAKER_00: so the number one thing that I do is that there are people in my life,
- 20:12SPEAKER_00: probably yours too,
- 20:13SPEAKER_00: whether they're
- 20:15old friends or relatives that are really annoying and you
- 20:20really don't want to be with them.
- 20:22SPEAKER_00: And you can't you can't lose them completely.
- 20:26SPEAKER_00: Right.
- 20:27SPEAKER_00: OK. Those are the people that are on my homeopathic doses list.
- 20:32So when they show up,
- 20:34I immediately say,
- 20:35oh,
- 20:35my God,
- 20:36I'm so happy to hear from you.
- 20:38SPEAKER_00: And I need you to know I have exactly 12 minutes to talk.
- 20:42SPEAKER_00: and I set very strict boundaries.
- 20:44SPEAKER_00: Or if they're coming to town, it's like, oh, yes, I want to see you.
- 20:49I can meet you over at Bird Rock Coffee for 17 minutes,
- 20:52but it's just a crazy day.
- 20:54SPEAKER_00: And so I just that's how I most protect myself because there are people,
- 20:59SPEAKER_00: you know,
- 21:00SPEAKER_00: they've been in my life for 40,
- 21:01SPEAKER_00: 50 years.
- 21:02They're very like they're the three o'clock in the morning
- 21:05people that if I call
- 21:07SPEAKER_00: them,
- 21:07SPEAKER_00: they do anything for me.
- 21:09SPEAKER_00: And so I can't really lose them.
- 21:11SPEAKER_00: but I also can't let them suck me dry.
- 21:13SPEAKER_01: Wow.
- 21:14SPEAKER_01: And that's why they're not listening to this.
- 21:16SPEAKER_01: They would never admit it.
- 21:23SPEAKER_01: What I always love about hanging out with you,
- 21:25SPEAKER_01: Ariel,
- 21:25SPEAKER_01: is it is always fun,
- 21:27SPEAKER_01: and it is always in discovery,
- 21:29SPEAKER_01: and I always learn something new for you.
- 21:31I'm excited about what we're going to talk about in the deeper
- 21:34conversation,
- 21:36SPEAKER_01: and so we're at time right now,
- 21:38SPEAKER_01: so thank you for everyone's time,
- 21:39SPEAKER_01: energy,
- 21:40SPEAKER_01: and life.
- 21:40SPEAKER_01: Our paid subscribers,
- 21:41we're going to be jumping back on in a few minutes with Ariel
- 21:45Ford to learn more
- 21:45SPEAKER_01: about what's in her spiritual toolkit.
- 21:48SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so thank you for joining us on the Joy Jolt Podcast.
- 21:51SPEAKER_02: If you are listening to us on a platform that is not Substack,
- 21:55please come over and find us at natandsue.substack.com or just
- 22:00go to thejoyjolt.com
- 22:02SPEAKER_02: and you will be able to find us there and come and join the party.
- 22:06SPEAKER_02: See you in a bit.