Latest / The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell / iAlign #59 - Trying Really Hard Is Not a System

Transcript

iAlign #59 - Trying Really Hard Is Not a System · The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to the I Align podcast with Flint Mitchell, where I provide stories, resources, and tools for ambitious builders who are ready to gain control over procrastination, overthinking, and distraction.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Trying really hard is what led me to fail my first organic chemistry test in university, and also what led me to spin my wheels and get overwhelmed with many of the projects that I did after university in work.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Flint Mitchell from Ioline.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: I went from stagnation, overthinking, and scrolling to a life of clear, consistent, confident action and freedom.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: And when I failed that test, I was sitting in my power systems planning class in the engineering building.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: It was about as boring as you can get.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's like beige yellow walls.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: There were 12 students in the classroom with a professor who had a fairly angry demeanor.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: He lectured at a rate that made it feel like we should be able to pick up the things he was saying really easily as he walked through diagrams and images and formulas of how electricity was flowing through the grid of power generation, distribution, transmission, all that kind of stuff.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: And at this point during the class, I was probably in that funny mixture where you're completely wired and anxious from a large cup of black coffee that you basically chugged before something you knew was going to be boring.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And also at this, and also at the same time, somehow incredibly tired trying to not fall asleep because I really didn't like this class.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I got an email, popped up on my computer, that I had received my exam score for my organic chemistry test.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't remember exactly what it was, but I'm pretty sure it started with a two.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was a 23% or a 27%.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: It was pretty bad.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: It was bad enough that I just shut my computer.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: I just walked out of the engineering class.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I probably ran over Mark Zuckerberg style and flip-flops with a big backpack on to the science building.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I went to the professor's room.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I went up to the TA to ask, maybe this was a mistake.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so he takes out my score and he goes, nah, you failed that shit, dog.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was pretty bad.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, I took that seriously and I ended up doing well in the class.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: But it was a wake-up call because in my head, I actually tried really hard to study for that test.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: My protocol at that point in time was to study really intensely, acting as if some specific thing was of the utmost importance and just add it on top of everything else.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then when new things came in, that thing would drop off.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would think about it as an open loop in the back of my head, but I would procrastinate until the actual deadline before the test had to occur.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would do it again and I'd get really intense, dropping off whatever the other things were that I was working on at that time that had replaced it.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would get emotionally overworked and I'd feel super overwhelmed and I would blow up and I wouldn't do very well on any of the things that I was doing because it was this constant rushing, then falling off track, then getting overwhelmed, and then having a bunch of things on my plate, then rushing again, which is just not an effective method for being consistent with work.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: And the main issue with this strategy, however, is that it feels like you're trying really hard.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because kind of you are, you're putting in lots of effort and lots of emotion.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: But technically speaking, practically speaking, the actual skill set or the content of the course I was taking or the project I was building, from a practical standpoint, I was underprepared because the actual work itself, while intense and emotional and lots of effort, was pretty poor.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so the output of this very overworked emotional system was subpar, hence the 23 or 27% on my fucking exam.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And one would have hoped that this pattern would have just gone away as I graduated and went into real work.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: But the reality is that it didn't, right?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't learn a lesson, you don't change that thing.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: And when I carried this into my work and my own personal projects, like the passion projects I wanted to build, what I ended up with was a very inconsistent, while still emotionally overloaded and overwhelmed system, which is a horrible combination.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: To feel like you're trying so hard, but you're not getting anything out of it, or you're not getting enough out of it, is a clear flag that the method that you use to actually be consistent with your work, or the method that I use to be consistent with my work, didn't work.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: The kicker here is that this pattern becomes the worst and the most ineffective and the most stressful and overwhelming during the last quarter of the year, during the September, October, November, December.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because this system, if you can call it that, is based on the premise that you will be able to fit in enough things into a shorter period of time before some other stressful thing comes in and knocks that off track.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: And what happens at the end of the year?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: We get overloaded with all sorts of stress.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many stressors that come up during this period of time.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: There is the loneliness that is inherent for so many people, whether they're in a partnership or not.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Many people have a deep sense of loneliness.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: I have experienced it during the holidays as well.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's a common, predictable thing.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: There is work stress because deadlines are starting to come up in Q4.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: There is just general holiday stress.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's the overcommitment of parties and friendsgivings and thanksgivings and travel and traveling on the Wednesday before things, all these things get piled into this period of time and it becomes deeply overwhelming as is, let alone when your system is based off of you being able to accomplish things before spontaneous or otherwise stressful events come in.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you work this way, you're basically guaranteed to have this experience where you get into the holidays and you're like, God, I tried so hard and it doesn't feel like I made it.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't feel like I made progress.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't feel like I got the thing or the result that I wanted, but it feels like I'm so overwhelmed and I'm so emotional.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: I tried so, I tried my best.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: But the reality is you didn't.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because if this is the way that you work, this is not your best.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's just the current methodology that you've used.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it is ineffective and overwhelming and self-defeating at best.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: To put it concisely, if your system is to try really hard until life gets in the way, you are setting yourself up for failure.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're just using the band-aid of willpower, trying to shove square blocks into round holes, trying to do 110% when you only actually have 80 or 70 or 60%.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then even a moderate amount of stress can push you past your limit where instead of bending slightly to the increased load, you just break entirely.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: In the fall, right now, Q4 is the best possible time for you to start to learn how to integrate more effective methods of decompression to handle the stress, prioritization, of filtering out the noise of the many things that are likely optional that you don't actually need to be doing, of managing your time and your energy in order to identify how much time and energy do I actually have, can I actually allocate, and therefore what things must get sacrificed over the next couple months in order to maintain a level of stress that I can bear and bend but not break.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And lastly, the way that you actually support yourself, not just decompression, but the way that you actually speak to yourself in the lows when the stressors are coming, when the loneliness is felt, when the nervousness or the anxiousness and the travel anxiety or the financial anxiety of the gifts or whatever the thing comes in, the way you speak to yourself and how you manage your actual self-talk is important as well.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason why right now is the perfect time to do that is because these upcoming stressors are predictable.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: We can use them like scientists or engineers iterate to test, to identify the best ways of operating, even when predictable stressors are coming in, so that when the spontaneous, unpredictable stressors come in in the future, we are better able, we're more competent at handling them.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, I'm Flint.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Please follow and subscribe if you'd like more resources and content on building a life of authenticity and freedom.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Peace.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you enjoyed that episode.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you've been told your entire life that you're smart and you have potential, but you continue to see yourself not do what you said you would do again and again, and it's made you stop trusting in yourself or that you will ever achieve that potential, I want to help you.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Together, you and I will implement a core value-based system that will help you become decisive and focused.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to feel the relief from the weight on your shoulders because of the decreased noise in your head.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Strength each morning because you trust yourself to turn lost avoidant hours of your life into forward progress.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Peace, when you no longer have to hide how you actually spend your time.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, pride in yourself when you close your eyes every night before you go to sleep.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: If that's of interest to you, click the first link in the show notes, fill out the 30-second application, and grab a time on my calendar.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Spots are obviously limited because of my time and availability, but if they fill up and you're a good fit, I'll make sure you get on the wait list.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: I look forward to speaking with you.