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Carried Forward- When Plans Change_ What Do You Carry Forward · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

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  The station where our veterans voices are heard MBR talk.
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  Hey, thanks for supporting our channel by watching and
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  listening find. Us on the web, at MB Radio dot
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  US when life shapes us, when love
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  anchors us, when lost changes us.
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  We are not left behind. We are carried forward, held by
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  faith, rooted in purpose, finding our way.
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  This is carried forward a space for stories of resilience,
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  purpose and forward resolve. Good morning.
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  How are you welcome to carried forward.
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  As you can see, it's just me today.
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  I don't have anyone I'm interviewing, so it'll be a
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  shorter episode, but hopefully just as valuable.
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  And I was I was wrecking my brain for like, what should I
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  talk about today? And there's a couple of
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  different things that I'm going to touch on today, but one was
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  just what's going on right now and why I don't have an
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  interviewee is because I did have a set up an interview and
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  then I, I had asked someone else and it just didn't work out.
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  So, and that's OK. I mean, that's how life is.
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  And it, when I was thinking about this topic, I was thinking
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  that is exactly kind of how my life has gone.
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  Like I had a plan in place and, and I, and I smile just because
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  like you got a smile through through the pain sometimes, but
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  like life doesn't go as as you thought it should, what you had
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  planned and that that's done just in my case, that's across
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  the board. And that goes from like small
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  little hiccups to people not being able to be interviewed to
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  your husband dying or a divorce, you know, And so today I'm just
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  going to talk about like my perspective.
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  It's not the way of doing it, but a perspective on, you know,
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  when, when plans change, what do you carry forward?
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  How do you handle that? We'll, we'll go.
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  I'll use a, a simple example as like my week and then a broader
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  example as my life. So I hope that you can join me
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  today. Take a little while to listen
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  and I hope this blesses you in some way or someone that you
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  know. So like today, today it's me
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  because I did have some interviews planned, but they
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  didn't work out. And I mean, that's completely
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  understandable. Things happen.
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  And so I thought, well, you know what, maybe I'll just do a
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  broadcast day where you guys are looking at things that I, that
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  I've already recorded and done, but I know I've gone to every
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  other Tuesday. So you have plenty of time to do
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  that now on the Tuesdays that I'm not talking to you.
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  And I enjoy doing this podcast because one, it is supporting a
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  wonderful network, the military Broadcast radio that helps us
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  veterans have a voice and share what our thoughts are.
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  And they're able to do that through contributions, sponsors,
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  and, and we're able to have this platform and learn how to do it
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  at no cost to us. And that is just wonderful.
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  And please get out there and support the military broadcast
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  radio because they don't only have podcast, but they have many
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  other things to offer and they're and they're good to us.
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  They teach us how to do this, but that I I digress, I'm
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  getting on another tangent, but please get out there and look at
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  other my brothers and sisters out there that are have their
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  own podcasts, see what we have to offer out there.
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  But you know, I was like, OK, well, what am I going to do now?
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  And and so I'm talking about it, right.
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  Life plan changes and what do we carry forward?
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  It's it's I think what we do with that.
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  I have a magnet on my refrigerator says that life is
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  all about what we do with Plan B, right?
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  It's always about figuring. It's not always about figuring
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  out what to do with what we need to do to make the original plan
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  work. And I will say the Lord has been
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  working in my heart of late to bring to drive that home to me
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  because we all want our original plans to work out.
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  Like I wanted to be able to do interviews today.
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  I wanted to be in the the season of empty nest nestness with my
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  late husband Andy and us travel and have a wonderful time
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  together. But that is just not what what
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  has happened. And So what I and believe it or
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  not, in all these years since his passing, I have been doing
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  all the things to to get through it right.
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  I've been going to the grief shares, I've been going to the
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  widow groups, I've been going to the retreats, I've been
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  traveling, I've been reading the books, listening to the podcast,
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  and of late, probably more than ever been asking the Lord to
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  help me. And of course, that's when I'm
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  feeling the most peace. I just asking the Lord to like,
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  OK, I had a plan. Obviously that's not the plan
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  that's working. So what do you need me to do?
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  And I will say that and I've made peace with it.
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  I think that's the most important piece of it is that
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  and you know, I I talked with the counselor Wounded Warrior
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  Project is a huge piece of my life now that I have a coach
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  that I talked to weekly and she's helped me just one.
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  I would say when things don't go your way, it's been beneficial
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  in my life to to do the things right, even if even if at the
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  moment they're not doing anything for you.
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  I have those tools now that I've brought with me.
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  I've learned and I'm in a better headspace to be able to use
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  those tools. So does that make sense?
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  Like because there was a moment that I was like, I've done all
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  these things and they and I feel no better.
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  So have I wasted my time? But now that I have like just
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  given it all to the Lord and made peace with like this is my
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  life. And and that probably sounds
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  silly to everyone, or maybe it doesn't if you've been in this
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  situation, but you have to like switch in your perspective of
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  like this is your life. There is your you know, you're
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  not going to make it look like it did.
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  You can't, you know, plug in someone to to kind of fit that,
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  that that life right. And you honestly, I've just
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  given it to the Lord and going Lord, you know, obviously the
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  life that I had planned is not the one that is going to be set
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  before me. What do I do now?
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  And, and honestly, accepting that, you know, and I guess
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  that's the key is accepting that good or bad, happy or sad, that
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  this is your life. And then what are you going to
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  do with it? How are you going to make it a
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  life that you're living right? We, you know, because we all
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  make plans and they don't always work out.
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  But I think the key part of living a joyful life or living a
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  life of, for me, it's peace and contentment and not always
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  striving like because I'm very much a researcher, I'm very much
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  a striver of like I got to do better.
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  I, you know, if I, if I take this one more course, I read
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  this one more book, then then I'm going to feel better.
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  It's going to make sense, right? And that is not always the case.
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  I think the biggest growth I've had of of all is 1 accepting
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  like there's nothing I can do to make this better, to make my
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  life better. And I, and I know I've shifted
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  like perspectives of like things didn't work out with my
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  interviewees, but I'm, I'm trying to relate that to, to how
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  life, you know, life doesn't always work out and we got to
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  make, make it work. Except that.
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  And like, if I wouldn't accept that the interviewees weren't
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  coming, coming, then I would have never spoke to you about
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  these things, right? But I, you know, but we got to
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  wake up. And it's not like for me anyway,
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  it's not doing the things that you need to do to accept it.
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  It's getting quiet, slowing down and, and just going like there
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  is nothing that I can do to make this better or to change this.
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  I don't know if that makes sense.
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  Hopefully it does. And and I'm I'm not getting in a
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  big spectrum. Like, of course there's things
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  that you can do in your life to make your life better, right?
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  And part of that is accepting. But I'm just saying for me, like
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  I do the things I like, talk to the people, I go to the classes,
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  I get the education, I do the research.
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  But all that is not going to help me if I've never just said
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  this is my life, right? And this is where I'm at.
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  Hopefully that is coming across as what as I intended.
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  And for me, the Lord has helped me do that.
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  He's helped me get quiet. He's helped me slow down.
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  He's helped me not knowledge it to death, if that makes sense.
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  Because that is that is my hang ups.
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  It's like I will research and find all the definitions and
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  read all the books, listen to all the podcasts trying to to
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  knowledge it to death. And sometimes that's not what
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  you need. Sometimes you just need to
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  accept and stop trying to understand things.
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  And I, I'm sure there's other people out there that probably
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  do that too. I'm I'm sure I'm not the only
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  one, but even if I am is that can go across the board.
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  Whatever you do to make something to cope with something
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  like whatever your go to is, sometimes you got to lay that
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  down and go, OK, I'm not using that tool anymore.
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  I'm just going to be here right now and ask the Lord to help you
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  in that. And that has made such a world
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  of difference. It's I'm a little slower than
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  others. It's taken me a little while, I
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  guess 10 years, I mean, but I will say that the things that
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  I've done to get here have helped me so much.
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  Like I've now, now that I've slowed down and start to accept
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  I do have the tools to start like realizing what other than
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  the loss of my husband has caused me grief and what coping
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  mechanisms that I have no longer serve me.
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  And what other things that haven't gone as planned have
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  caused me to behave in ways that I don't respect or the person
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  that I want to be right. And I think these are the things
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  that we have to ask ourselves and that has helped me so much.
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  Like who? Who do I want to be in this life
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  that has been given to me? And what am I doing that is not
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  feeding that person, right? And I believe me, I do plenty of
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  things that don't feed that person or feed that life that I
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  want to be. But I'm working with the Lord
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  to, to see the things that that I didn't see before, right?
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  I've asked him, I've prayed and asked the Lord to show me sins
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  and habits and ways in my life that are 1 not honoring to him
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  and often times very dishonoring to him.
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  And then what's not honoring to the life that that he has for
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  me, right? And that has made such a huge
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  difference. Of course, it's not overnight,
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  but I have such peace about it. One, accepting like, OK, Lord,
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  this is what you have for me, let's walk this together.
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  And two, please show me where I need to do better and what what
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  has been dishonouring to you, sinful to myself and to you?
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  Please show those. And he has been showing me so
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  quickly, so quickly, and then bringing people into my life to
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  help me pray through those things, to help me work through
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  those things. It's just been amazing.
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  It truly has been and it's just me sitting down and getting
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  quiet like I said and asking those things and and giving him
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  the time he needs to speak to me and seeking out others that are
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  good at that. Right.
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  I would say I am someone that typically like turns inward or
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  to a book or to, you know, an expert, but I've been seeking
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  out community and he has allowed beautiful people to come in my
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  life that that know how to do these things that know how to go
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  to get quiet and ask the Lord to answer hard questions.
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  Do they always do the answers always show up as I expect?
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  Absolutely not. But but they do show up and it's
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  just been beautiful to just go, OK, this is not the life that I
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  wanted. This is not the plan I had, but
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  Lord, this must be your plan. So you help me walk this
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  journey. And I've had unexpected
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  conversations. I've had rest when I didn't, you
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  know, I didn't think rest was productive, but it is.
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  It truly is. I've had different opportunities
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  show up that I would have never imagined that I will talk about
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  in the future that I could have never imaged imagined me going.
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  And you know, just helping others in ways that are just
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  surprising I by pausing and just having time to not always be
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  what I think is productive, right?
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  It's just given me due direction.
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  It's given me time to think. It's given me peace and to see
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  like what God is doing in my life that I would have never
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  expected or anticipated or even imagined, right?
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  So it's just like sometimes we have to slow down, go in a
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  different direction, and most importantly accept that
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  different direction. I think that's been the huge
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  change in my life. If you guys would just like
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  share in my comments like a time of something that that's gone a
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  different way, that you didn't choose what eventually LED you
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  to something meaningful, I would love that.
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  Please share. Share with me because I do feel
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  that the Lord is walking me through the season to lead me to
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  something very meaningful. And like I said, this isn't
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  going to be a very long episode. I, I hope this has blessed you
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  in some way talking about this because like it's the key parts
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  are acceptance, slowing down, allowing the Lord to speak to
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  you and not carrying forward everything that you know, Like
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  sometimes we got to let things go, right?
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  Our old expectations, we got to let our disappointments go.
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  We got to let our guilt go. We got to let relationships that
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  you had hopes for and they have changed, be that friendship or
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  romantic, got to let those go and not carry them forward.
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  I think the identity that you had for yourself, sometimes you
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  got to not carry that forward and be open to a new identity.
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  Which has been huge for me. A key thing I've had to let go
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  of and not carry forward is other people's expectations of
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  our my life to, I mean other people's and my own expectations
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  for my life. A version of ourselves that
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  we're afraid to release, right? I think that's huge for me
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  because I think developing a Shawna on her own, without Andy
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  or out the idea of Andy was very frightening to me because I love
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  that Shawna. She was a rock star like she was
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  amazing. That version of Shawna with Andy
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  and to release that version. I've been afraid to do that.
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  I, I have tried to, I've tried everything I can to find that
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  person, but to but I had not truly accepted like this is
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  Shawna without Andy. I guess I would just say like
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  maybe moving forward isn't just about deciding where we're
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  going, it's deciding what deserves to come with us and
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  what we need to accept. I, I am getting ready to leave
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  on a road trip sometime soon. And you know, that makes me
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  think of like when we choose to go on a road trip, we don't take
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  our whole house with us, right? So we think about what do we
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  need, what can stay home and what's worth carrying forward.
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  And that's what I'm saying is like, we need to choose and
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  accept what we're going to bring with us and who we are right now
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  and, and allow like not be afraid to release some things
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  that even were wonderful like that were part of like some of
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  the best parts of us, right? I think that it's important that
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  we realize that the things that that we accept and want to carry
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  forward with us and, and to, to focus on who we want to become
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  and to feed, like I said earlier, like you're feeding
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  that version of you. And what I'm trying to
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  personally, personally trying to leave behind in the season and,
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  and what I want to intentionally take with me is what I've been
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  focusing on lately. I've, and that means that I've,
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  I've walked through some hard layers of grief that are beyond
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  just Andy, like grief from my childhood and, and, and
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  learning, like coping mechanisms that I picked up in my childhood
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  that that I started bringing with me.
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  But releasing those to the Lord. And most importantly, if you
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  don't get anything else from this episode is like it's
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  acceptance for for what your life is right now, even if
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  you're having a bad time. Like I'm accepting that I'm
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  going through a hard time right now.
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  So when I accept that, I can start working towards becoming
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  the person that I want to be. Does that make sense?
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  At least that's what what what has helped me tremendously.
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  And asking the Lord into that space, like really asking him
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  into that space and making time for him to answer has been a
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  huge, huge change for me. Let's see, maybe something in
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  your life hasn't gone according to planned either.
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  I'm sure. I'm sure that's true.
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  And maybe you're trying desperately to get back to how
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  you thought you were supposed to be.
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  And I would just say accept where you're at right now and
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  move from there. That's helped me.
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  And ask the Lord to be in that place.
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  And just be like what I'm carrying simply because I've
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  always carried it and I don't want to accept this reality.
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  I think that's the hardest piece is like when you don't want to
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  accept your reality. That can be so hard, but taking
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  the time to accept it and going OK, I accept this.
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  This is where I'm at, good or bad.
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  How can I move forward from here?
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  Where does the road lead from here and asking the Lord to show
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  you those. I think that is all I have for
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  you today. I hope this has been helpful and
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  wasn't like jumbled, but I think the most important things that
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  have in the season of my life that I've come through and that
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  I want to share with you is one, accepting where you're at, not
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  clinging to what you were or who you were, but realizing who you
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  are right now. And then moving forward from
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  there and choosing what you want to carry with you forward and,
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  and realizing that it's not always going to look like it
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  did. And to hold on to the values and
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  the, the core of who you are and ask the Lord in that place with
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  you and ask him to carry you in the direction that he needs you.
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  And to put people in your life, put people, places, things in
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  your life that will help you go in the direction that he needs
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  you to go. And it makes such a huge
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  difference. You will be so much more at
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  peace and not only asking him, but giving him time to answer
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  you. That means getting quiet.
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  That means slowing down. That means giving him some time
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  in your day to help you realize. And no, it's not easy and
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  sometimes you have to start over, but taking the time to do
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  it. And even if like, for instance,
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  that you don't like where your life is right now and you don't
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  want to accept it, but do it anyway.
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  That's what has helped me. Like just going, OK, this is not
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  the life that I planned. This is, I don't want to even
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  accept that this is my life, but I'm going to and asking the Lord
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  to help you with that and to help you move forward and to
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  help you find the people in your life to show you how to do that
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  better. Thank you so much for joining me
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  today. I invite you to share this with
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  others if it's blessed you in any way.
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  Yeah. So thank you.
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  I hope you come back Tuesday after next.
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  I I will. Sure I will have someone to
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  interview. Hopefully it'll be my sister.
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  And if not, then it'll be someone just as interesting and
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  lovely and hearing their story. I hope this was helpful.
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  Please share it if you felt that it was, and I will talk to you
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  soon. Have a wonderful day.
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  Hi, I'm Beaker with Military Broadcast Radio TV.
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