Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How to make a narcissist LESS interested in you
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, Beautiful people.
- 0:02Today we're talking about how to make a narcissist less
- 0:06interested in you, how to get them to leave you alone and
- 0:09whatnot If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:11I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
- 0:14another episode of the Narcissist Code.
- 0:32Boom. Welcome back, folks.
- 0:34Welcome back. Welcome back.
- 0:34Welcome back. Yes, yes, yes.
- 0:37How to make a narcissist uninterested in you.
- 0:40How to get them less interested in you and what not.
- 0:44Because this is big. This is big.
- 0:45Y'all This is what a lot of people go through.
- 0:47This is what a lot of people experience.
- 0:49Because like some narcissistic people, some narcissists are
- 0:53absolutely just unrelenting. They are unrelenting.
- 0:58They will not leave you alone. They will refuse to leave you
- 1:01alone. They just keep applying more
- 1:03pressure, keep applying more pressure, keep applying more
- 1:06pressure to you and what not. They just keep doing things over
- 1:09and over and over again until they feel like they have, until
- 1:12they exhaust you into giving them giving them another chance,
- 1:15until they beat you down enough emotionally and mentally and
- 1:20sometimes physically to get you to give in to their needs and
- 1:22wants. So how do you make them less
- 1:25interested in you? How you know?
- 1:29Because that's that's the question a lot of people ask me.
- 1:31But Lee, they just won't leave me the hell alone.
- 1:33How do I get them to leave me alone?
- 1:34Pretty much grabbing grabbing me by the collar and shaking me
- 1:37like shaking shaking Lee syndrome, like, hey, like, but
- 1:42that's what happens right there, right?
- 1:44One of the main ways to get them less interested in you is to
- 1:48remove whatever form of supply that they are giving, that you
- 1:53are giving to them that they are getting from you.
- 1:55What, To identify the type of supply that they are getting
- 2:01from you. Because that's a necessity
- 2:03that's necessary on this journey right here for you to identify
- 2:07whatever it is that they are getting from you that they keep
- 2:10coming back for. You know, I know people just
- 2:13think a narcissistic supply as it's just a a catch all just is
- 2:17just one word. But narcissistic narcissistic
- 2:20supply, Narcissistic supply can cover a a multitude of topics.
- 2:24Y'all it really can. Narcissistic supply covers a
- 2:28lot. It covers a lot of things.
- 2:32It just absolutely can't. It can be financial supply.
- 2:35Are they are you giving them money?
- 2:36Are they getting money from you, you know, or or they get in the
- 2:39household from you, a car from you, whatever it is.
- 2:42What are they, What are they getting from you that you can
- 2:45cut off, That you can cut that you can stop?
- 2:48Maybe not immediately but you can just kind of like turn the
- 2:51drip down. Turn the drip down on
- 2:54everything. What?
- 2:55Well, you know what What kind of space what, what can you do
- 2:56right there in that dynamic. What can you do financially to
- 3:00to cut them off to make sure they they're not they're not
- 3:02suckling at your teeth for like, for lack of a better word, you
- 3:06know what can you do in this situation to make them less
- 3:08interested in you financially? Because if they get, if you are
- 3:12getting money from them or you're providing a house for
- 3:15them and they just don't have anywhere else to go and things
- 3:18like that. Like you give them a car, you
- 3:19give them money. They haven't worked in years
- 3:22cutting off their financial supply couldn't get them to
- 3:24leave you be. But again at the beginning of
- 3:27it, they're going to be, they're going to fight.
- 3:29They're going to fight for their their financial supply lives.
- 3:32They're going to fight for what they feel like they deserve.
- 3:34And a lot of narcissists feel like they are absolutely
- 3:36entitled to your money, to your household, to your cars, to your
- 3:41bank account, to whatever your stocks, your investments,
- 3:44whatever. They feel like you are in this
- 3:47space right here that you, they they are entitled to it and they
- 3:50get that supply from you. So if you if you are
- 3:52continuously giving them money, then why would they leave you
- 3:54alone? They cheat on you.
- 3:57You give them money. Why would they leave you be?
- 3:59Because damn near if you're getting, if you're giving them,
- 4:01it's like you're giving them an allowance to cheat on you.
- 4:03Here's your monthly cheating stipend.
- 4:05Go use this money to go buy a hotel room for you and a new
- 4:08supply. No.
- 4:10Figure out what type of supply that you're that they're getting
- 4:12from you, that you're giving to them or whatever, and cut it
- 4:15off. Yeah, yeah, I know.
- 4:16Cutting it off makes it. When I say it like that, it
- 4:19makes it seem like it's this easy thing to do.
- 4:22I completely understand that, that cutting somebody off could
- 4:24take a little time. So that's what I'm saying.
- 4:27Make a plan to cut them off financially.
- 4:28If they're getting financial supply from you.
- 4:31It's just in that space right here.
- 4:33That's what happens. That could happen right there.
- 4:36Like they could just be getting less from you and then they
- 4:39leave you be sooner or later. Maybe some, yeah, some of them.
- 4:42Maybe I should have said this in the beginning, but if you made
- 4:45it this far, you get a nugget, you, you get this little gold
- 4:47nugget right here. If you get a gold chicken
- 4:50nugget, you drop a chicken in the comment section.
- 4:52You made it this far. It's just so I know what it is.
- 4:57Some of them won't leave you alone.
- 4:59Some of them you have to. Some of them you have to force
- 5:01them to leave you alone. Y'all.
- 5:03Some of them, you have to bring the police in to get them to, to
- 5:06remove them, to follow restraining orders and things
- 5:08like that. Of course, use discretion in
- 5:11these situations because sometimes they can become
- 5:13aggravated because you filed A restraining order, because you
- 5:16filed charges on them. They get, they get absolutely
- 5:19become aggravated in this moment right here and try to hold you
- 5:23accountable for something that they've went through, something
- 5:25that they've dealt with and what not.
- 5:27So this is the time for you to understand, like, you know, some
- 5:30of them might not leave you alone.
- 5:31You might have to force them to leave you alone.
- 5:32Document everything. Document everything.
- 5:35Document everything. It sounded like a broken record,
- 5:38didn't it? Because it is.
- 5:40You need to document every single thing that you possibly
- 5:43can. You know, it's just in case you
- 5:44have to force them to leave you alone because some people who
- 5:47they just won't leave you alone. Let's be real.
- 5:49But if you cut off that supply, back to the topic, If you cut
- 5:52off that supply, the chances increase of them leaving you
- 5:55alone. If it's financial supply, cut it
- 5:57off. If it's bedroom supply, sexual
- 5:59supply like cheek clap, cheek clapping supply, you have to cut
- 6:03it off. Y'all this is where you have to
- 6:05have some type of discipline as well.
- 6:07Because if you don't have any type of sexual discipline, if
- 6:10this is the best you've ever had and you just don't know how to
- 6:12say no bucking your bucking your damn seatbelts up because you're
- 6:15in for a bumpy cheek clapping ride.
- 6:17Seriously. Because if that's if that's all
- 6:19it takes is for to get them to do.
- 6:22If that's all it takes for them to get you to do what they want
- 6:25is to get naked, then you're going to lose $100 a 100% time.
- 6:28Well Lee, what if we could just using them for that?
- 6:30Why y'all me personally, it's damn.
- 6:33I think it's damn near impossible to just use somebody
- 6:35for that and just disconnect from them because it's to me
- 6:39that's how it is. You know, I as a narcissist can
- 6:42disconnect from people. I can use people for that.
- 6:44But even even I in those situations have connected to
- 6:47people when my intent was only to be, you know, just to make
- 6:51just do a couple claps, couple claps, you know, just a couple
- 6:54claps in that space right there. But you get another say.
- 6:58You have to be able to cut it off.
- 7:00You have to be able to have that type of discipline, discipline
- 7:03say it slow this, I planned this, I this, I planned.
- 7:08Discipline is this I planned. You got to plan it out to say
- 7:12no, service yourself. Get on Amazon and do some find
- 7:15some self-service stuff if necessary because you have to be
- 7:18able to say no to control your impulses, to control your urges
- 7:21or are you going to lose? Narcissists think in terms of
- 7:25wins and losses. If they want to always win and
- 7:27even if they lose, they want to feel like they win, you know,
- 7:31they want to feel like they won something.
- 7:33They just, they they really just do, you know.
- 7:36So in this space right here they have to feel like they're
- 7:38winning something. That's why I tell y'all cut off
- 7:41the sexual supply. If that's what they get in from
- 7:43you cut off the this to make make them look a good supply.
- 7:47What I mean by that is the threat of exposure is deep.
- 7:51It runs deep With narcissists if you're I'm gonna of course y'all
- 7:56this is one of the techniques you absolutely better use
- 7:58discretion on because they can lose their goddamn minds for
- 8:01real. But like if they think that you
- 8:04are going to expose them, you have too much on them.
- 8:06You can win. Of course some of them will go
- 8:09crazy and lose their minds and try to harm you, but a lot of
- 8:11times their fear of being exposed makes them leave you
- 8:13alone but makes them uninterested in you.
- 8:15Because it's like, damn, if they're going to expose me if I
- 8:17keep messing with them, I might get exposed.
- 8:19But if they don't think you're ever going to expose them,
- 8:21they'll just keep applying pressure.
- 8:23Because at the end of the day, why wouldn't they?
- 8:26Why wouldn't they just keep applying pressure to you?
- 8:28If that's all, if they can get their needs met, why wouldn't
- 8:32they? So that's all.
- 8:34It's also something for you to consider right there, something
- 8:37for you to take in right there, something for you to understand
- 8:39right there to cut off the central supply.
- 8:41If they they they get in from United Central Supply, they they
- 8:44make them look good. Supply cut off their protecting
- 8:46their reputation. Supply cut off the validation
- 8:49that they constantly get from you.
- 8:50If they're if you're telling them that you love them all the
- 8:52time and you're doing, you'll do you'll change the world for them
- 8:55and you give up anything for them and they're not
- 8:57reciprocating that y'all. It's again, it's like you
- 9:00rewarding bad behaviors because they like them.
- 9:02This person will never leave me, even if I do what I want to do
- 9:05to cut off that supply, whatever type of supply.
- 9:09And if you if y'all if y'all having trouble understanding the
- 9:12word supply, replace the word supply with validation.
- 9:16Whatever type of validation that this person is getting from you,
- 9:19find a way to cut it off. Find a way to cut it off or turn
- 9:24it down really, really low. So it's it's a damn near a slow
- 9:27drip, you know, a slow drip of water.
- 9:30Over time, people will still die of thirst.
- 9:32If you're in the middle of the desert and you get a slow drip
- 9:34of water, one drop comes out every hour.
- 9:37You'll still die of thirst. There's not enough to quench
- 9:38your thirst. So turn the supply down really,
- 9:41really low. If you can't turn it all the way
- 9:43off now, figure out what type of supply they're getting from you.
- 9:47Ask yourself what is it? Why is it?
- 9:49Well Lee, how do I figure that out?
- 9:50Ask yourself what is this person getting from me?
- 9:54And just study your relationship.
- 9:55Kind of do like a snapshot of your relationship and study what
- 9:58you, what you are getting, what you are providing this person
- 10:01you know and then be able to cut it off or cut it down really,
- 10:03really low. And the last thing I talked
- 10:05about today y'all is become boring, become boring and set
- 10:09boundaries. Because to make them
- 10:11disinterested in you, especially early on.
- 10:13They have some of the narcissists that people want to
- 10:15have fun. They want to just be.
- 10:16They're fun loving, ambitious, kind of outgoing out there,
- 10:20outgoing people. Some of them, they're all the
- 10:22covert narcissists out there that are introverts.
- 10:24But some of them, if they think you're boring, if you become
- 10:27boring, if you use the grey rock technique, if you don't know
- 10:30what grey rocking is, it's becoming a boring, it's becoming
- 10:33like a grey rock. You pick up.
- 10:34Go pick up a rock on the ground outside.
- 10:37Go pick up a big grey rock outside and study it.
- 10:40Describe it. Use adjectives to describe that
- 10:42grey rock. What is this grey rock?
- 10:45Boring. This rock is not emotionally
- 10:49connected. This rock is not giving me any
- 10:51type of reaction. Grey rocking technique.
- 10:54You use the grey rock. They think you become boring.
- 10:56You set boundaries. They don't want to push against
- 10:59your boundaries. They they get tired of you
- 11:00setting boundaries. They get tired of having to
- 11:02enforce their will. They get tired of having to
- 11:05enforce their will rather than just having you follow suit.
- 11:09You know they get tired. You can exhaust them.
- 11:12You can exhaust them by becoming boring, by not giving them any
- 11:15more supply, by threatening to expose them by like say again,
- 11:19use, use quality, use quality, use safety.
- 11:21When you're doing it right there, but threatening to expose
- 11:23them, moving, threatening to move forward.
- 11:25There's so many different things right there.
- 11:26Y'all. Like I said, you can become
- 11:29boring and you can set boundaries.
- 11:30Say the word no. They become bored with you
- 11:33saying the word no, especially if they can't negotiate you to
- 11:36turn around and say the word yesterday.
- 11:37If you just if you're just consistently stuck on no, they
- 11:40know. Typically some of them, a lot of
- 11:42them will leave you alone. Now they've become boring.
- 11:44Use these techniques right here. Let me know how they go.
- 11:46Be safe. Of course.
- 11:47Y'all if y'all want to join my support group.
- 11:50It's called The Mental Healers. The link is in the description
- 11:52of every video and podcast I do. We do weekly support group
- 11:55meetings. There's a bunch of people in
- 11:58there talking back and forth, meeting each other, having
- 11:59making friends in the group and there's a bunch of stuff going
- 12:02on. Y'all.
- 12:02I also have a mini course available as well.
- 12:04It's called Understanding the Seven Stages of a Narcissistic
- 12:07Relationship. Click below.
- 12:09Link is in the description of every video and podcast I do.
- 12:11I'm so grateful for. Y'all, thank you, thank you,
- 12:13thank you. Mental illness is out peace.
- 12:16Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 12:18You are a Mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
- 12:21for being here. If you haven't already, make
- 12:23sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
- 12:25watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
- 12:27There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
- 12:30kids. But remember, it's not your
- 12:32fault on Amazon, so check that out.
- 12:35Thank you. I will see you in the next
- 12:36video. Peace.