Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 5-MINUTE FRIDAY: When Was the Last Time You Asked For Help?

Transcript

5-MINUTE FRIDAY: When Was the Last Time You Asked For Help? · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Hey, everybody. Emily a Body popping in.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: With another installment of five Minute Friday from Hurdle. Today
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: on the show, I want to recognize and hold space
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: for anyone who is just feeling really overwhelmed by everything
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: that's going on in the world. And I think that
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: the subject of today's five Minute Friday, the story that
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you guys, may really resonate with
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: you if you too are feeling like things are a
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: little out of your control at the moment. So this week,
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: I want to talk about asking for help, and it's
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: something that I know that I'm not really good at doing.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: I think it goes hand in hand with like being
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: an entrepre being a confident single woman in my early thirties,
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Like I like to do things on my own when
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I'm going through something or struggling through something, whether it's
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: like an actual project or it's just an emotion, I
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: try to figure out how to navigate these moments on
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: my own. With that said, something I'm consciously working on
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: is getting better at asking for help or talking to
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: someone when I know that I don't feel okay, whether
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: that is you know, like a professional like a life coach,
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: or just reaching out to a friend and being like,
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: I'm really struggling with X.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: It would really mean a lot to.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Me if you could do why and articulate what that
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: why is, Articulate how the people that care about me
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: can support me, because I know that they really want to.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: So let me bring this in and talk about how
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: this showed up for me this week.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: This week I.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Lost audio that I was hoping to use on the show,
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: and it was a really stressful moment for me because
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: I'm editorial calendar and I like have set this reasonable
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: expectation that you are all going to open up your
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: podcast app every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and there's gonna
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: be an episode of Hurdle there. And I didn't have
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: backup audio, Like I didn't have a backup conversation that
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: I could bring here, and I felt really stressed and
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: nervous and like, what am I going to talk about?
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: What's going to happen? Et cetera, et cetera.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: Now, I've asked the community here on the show and
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: both like on social and on Instagram to submit listener
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: questions before, but I realized in the way that I
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: have worded it in the past, so that It wasn't like, hey,
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I need you to do me this solid or hey
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: I'm really struggling with X. It was just like, if
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: you have a free second, can you do me a
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: favor and leave a voice message? Right? So on when
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: on Tuesday, excuse me, on Tuesday, I went to Instagram
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: and I like mentioned what had happened, Like, I woke
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: up this morning and I'm feeling stressed and I lost
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: this audio and I'm in a little bit of a bind,
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: and it would mean a lot to me if you
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: could help me with this thing, which was submit a
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: listener question. And holy wow, did the community show up.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: I think over the course of like four hours, I
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: got something like forty different listener voicemails, sixteen of which
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: were in the episode on Wednesday, and I'm going to
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: feature one shortly in this episode. But to be honest,
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: this little moment, it reminded me of the power of
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: community and how important it is to ask for help
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: when you need it. And although this wasn't a dire situation,
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: it was a lesson that could be applied to when
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: things feel really dark, right, when things feel really difficult Again,
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I'm someone that is so used to like trying to
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: navigate it solo.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: But when you get vulnerable and you open.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: Yourself up to assistance and are willing to say I
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. Yes, like saying I don't
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: have all the answers can feel some kind of a way.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: But put that aside, right, Allow people to help you,
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: help yourself, Allow people to remind you that there is
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: good out there. Even when God, the world feels chaotic
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: and everything feels a little bit all over the place,
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: there is joy hiding in.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: The difficult moments.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: And sometimes because we're so caught up in our own stuff,
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: you know, it's it's hard to seek that joy, it's
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: hard to find it. But letting other people bring it
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: to you, letting other people know that you are loved
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: and important and.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Valuable, that's really special.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: And so again, like this community, thank you for showing
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: up for me this week. It really it felt really,
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: really beautiful, especially because it reminds me that as someone
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: who's at the helm of it, you know, we have
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: the opportunity to help each other.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: And it's not always about how I am showing up.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Here for you, although that's a big part of it,
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: but also how we can show up for each other.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: I mentioned this I believe in last week's Five Minute Friday,
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: but I want to mention it again. The Not So
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Secret Hurdler's Facebook group is at like almost nine hundred
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: and fifty members and growing right now, and the community
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: is really starting to pick up and it's really exciting me.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: So if you haven't enjoined yet, make sure you head
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: on over there and go do that. My prompt for
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: you this week. For some reason, that felt like the
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: right place to plug that little audio. My prompt for
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: you this week, what's something that you need help with
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: that you haven't asked for yet? What is something that's
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: going on in your life that you need some help
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: with that you haven't asked for yet?
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: And now a listener question.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: Hi, my name is Jesse. I'm a relative new Hurdler,
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: but I'm absolutely in love with the podcast and listen
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: all the time. I wanted to know what is your
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: advice for like a normal person. I find that all
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: of the tips and tricks that so many of the
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: guests and that you talk about are all in conditions
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: that for some of us are just not ideal. For example,
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: I'm already a total morning person, but I have to
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: wake up with an alarm because I have to be
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: at work by seven am. I'm a school principal and
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: I just have to get there. And sometimes at the
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: end of the night, it's really hard to keep consistent
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: with some of the different health tips of recent guests
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: and whatnot. And so how do you, without being too
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: hard on yourself, manage all of the tips and be
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: a normal person.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Hey, Jesse, throwing a little bit of shade, it seems
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: I'm not.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Going to be hard on you. I totally hear where
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: you're coming from.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I do want to say this, the alarm thing, I
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: get it. Not everyone has like the beautiful opportunity not
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: to set an alarm and just hope that they wake
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: up naturally at five thirty or six thirty.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: That is an acquired skill.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: It's one that I have somehow mastered over the last
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: few years. But with that said, there are other tips
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: and tricks that are in here that you've got to
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: just learn how to adapt to your own lifestyle. Right,
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: If you want to make positive changes for yourself, then
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: the first step is meeting yourself where you're at. So
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: if you know that you have to be at work
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: at seven am, and you don't have the bandwidth to
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: either work out, or meditate or journal before that happens.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: That's okay, But then be honest with yourself about where
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: in your day you could realistically slip in the things
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: that matter to you. So maybe it's just one thing
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: at a time. And in fact, I would encourage you
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: to start with one thing at a time. So perhaps
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: that one thing is journaling, and you find that you
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: can and actually slip that practice into your routine the
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: moment you get to your desk. It's something that I
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: spoke about in this week's Listener Questions episode. I spoke
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: about sitting down at my desk and starting off my
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: work day by taking literally less than one minute to
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: write down three things that I am grateful for. It
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: doesn't have to be something that happened in the last
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: twenty four hours. It can be anything like I am
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: grateful for this super comfortable Hurdler sweatshirt that I'm wearing
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: in the moment, and there you go, within one minute,
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: you added a very positive, intentional practice to your regular routine.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's easy to say something like I don't have
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: the time to work out.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Joe Holder has been on the show.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I highlighted an episode of Trained that he's on this
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: week in this week's Weekly Hurdle newsletter. If you don't
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: subscribe just yet, I highly encourage you to do so
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: by clicking the link on over the show notes. But
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: his whole thing that he talks about often is exercise, snacks,
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: and that there's value in small.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Doses of movement that are spread out throughout your day.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: So if you're thinking I don't have time to work out,
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: because you're thinking I don't have a forty five minute
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: block before I go to work, or I'm too tired
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: when I get home, how can you incorporate small ballots
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: of regular movement into your weekly routine and then make
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: it a priority in a larger chunk of time, perhaps
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: during the weekend, or just incorporating more movement in general
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: to your day to day. If you're driving to work,
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: are you parking farther away from the door that you
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: walk into so that you can get in more steps?
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: If you are going to the grocery store, I would
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: challenge you to do the same thing and remember your routine.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Your wellness practices. They may resemble other peoples, but they
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: are yours. They belong to you. You need to incorporate
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: things into your life that make you happy, habits that
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: you will actually stick with, and don't worry about or
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: judge what you've got going on based on what you
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: see everybody else doing. Stay in your own lane, take
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: insp and motivation from other people, but have grace with
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: yourself so that you can push forward in a way
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: that feels harmonious.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: If that makes sense.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: I would be really really curious to hear from more
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: people who this resonates with, and these voice messages, they
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: help inform me on who I should talk to, who
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: I should speak with, who should come on the show
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: to give you the tips and the tricks that you're
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: looking for. So I hear your frustration, Jesse, I get it,
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: but I do think that if you meet yourself with
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: where you're at and have that honest conversation, then you
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: will find a way to incorporate healthy practices into your.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Routine that will help you feel better.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: That's it for this week, and make sure you if
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: you're in DC, are holding March sixteenth for me and
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: I have an announcement. If you're in New York, yep
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: I said it, and you happen to be free the
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: afternoon of March twenty six.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Put a soft hold on that as well.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: I have some special, special things I'm working on, and
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: I promise you I will have details asap.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.