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خلاصه کتاب هفت اصل ازدواج موفق (قسمت دوم) · دانشگاه صوتی چکیده ماندگار | کتاب تاریخی سیاسی

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: The second part of the summary of the book, The
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Seven Principles of a Successful Marriage.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Hello, welcome to Chikide Mandegar.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: I am Esfandiar Khodai and this is the second and
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: final part of the summary of the book, The Seven
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Principles of a Successful Marriage. Written by Professor John Gottman,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Professor of Science at Washington University of Seattle. In the
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: first episode, we said that Gatman, after 40 years of
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: experience in the Seattle Institute of Women's Relations, came to
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: the conclusion that duality in life is natural and 89%
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: of women's differences are not solved at all. The secret
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: of a successful marriage is not to remove differences, but
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: to correct the duality and repair the relationship after each marriage.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: We got acquainted with four dangerous cruisers.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Rebellion, defamation, confrontation and stoning. And we learned that the
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: presence of these four cruisers is not solely due to
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: the death of the relationship. Rather, it is the inability
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: to repair the relationship that kills the relationship. Then we
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: entered the first three chapters of the book of the
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: seven chapters of the successful marriage. The first chapter is
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: the deep knowledge of the husband, the second principle, the
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: development of love and the manifestation of favor, and the
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: third principle, to take each other to a place of
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: distance from each other in the.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Small moments of the day.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Now, in this final episode, we listen to the four
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: remaining principles of the book. In the fourth principle, we
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: see why men who do not take their husband seriously
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: in their decisions, 81%.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Are more in divorce.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: And in the fifth principle, we learn how to solve
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: solutions with a gentle and peaceful start. And in the
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: sixth principle, we deal with permanent and unsolved differences. In
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: the seventh principle, how a shared and meaningful life has
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: a difference with a family. And at the end, we
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: will review the comments on the book. Chapter 4. Don't
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: stop your husband's influence. Allow him to affect your decisions.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Jack decided to buy a second-hand water-powered car. The seller
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: was Philip. It was only a month that he had
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: this car and he was selling it for his job transfer.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Jack was happy with Philip's car, but first he said
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: he had to check a mechanic.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Philip was surprised and asked, why? Why a mechanic? The
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: car is almost new.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Jack said, I told my husband that I would not
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: buy a car without a refund. Philip asked with a
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: changed look, does your husband tell you what car to buy?
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Jack replied, of course, if you don't.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Let your husband see it in this way. Philip said
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: with disappointment, no, because I got divorced. Gottman says that
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: this short story is one of his most important findings.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: In a study on 130 newly married couples, men who
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: allow their husband's opinion on their decisions to be affected,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: had a happier and more stable marriage. On the other hand,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: when a man was not present to share power with
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: his wife, it was 81% possible that that marriage would end.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: But what does acceptance of influence mean? Acceptance of influence
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: with what we say in our culture to that woman
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: is two completely different things. In the American culture and
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: all cultures, there are equalities for women. This book says,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: But the perception of influence means exactly the opposite. You
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: also preserve your own opinion and personality.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: You are just present.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Listen and take your husband's opinion seriously in common decisions
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: and respect him and follow the common ground together. Do
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: not fight until you are the winner of the debate.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Disgrace is from weakness, but acceptance and influence is from pride,
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: respect and mutual rationality and masculinity. Gatman shows this image
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: in the life of John and Martha like this. John
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: announced that he had to stay on the job for
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: a long time and work on his project. Martha remembered
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: that her mother was going to come tomorrow and.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: John was going to help her.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: John, instead of attention, came in and said, why didn't
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: you remember that I have a big project?
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Martha got angry and left the room.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: He turned on the TV and when Martha came back,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: he didn't see him. Gatman says, here too, the same
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: familiar face of the four riders comes in. First, the
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: confrontation and then the clash. And it's exactly the same
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: face that leads the relationship to destruction. Acceptance of influence
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: does not mean that a man should put aside his
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: manhood and personality and surrender to his husband. Gatman gives
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: an example of a man who believes that a man
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: should be the final decision-maker for the family. But he
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: never decides that his husband should be against him. He says,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: the decision that my husband should be against him is disrespectful.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: We talk so much to reach agreement.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: I make this decision.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: This man does not lose any of his power, he
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: just learned to accompany.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: This power with respect.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Another example is the wife of Tam and Kara. Kara
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: is angry at the presence of Sam, an old and
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: useless friend of Tam, in their house. Tam, on the
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: other hand, always got angry and said, this house is
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: also my house. When the counselor asked in depth and talked,
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: he found out that Tame had taken refuge in Sam's
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: family during his parents' divorce and slept on the roof
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: of his house at night and saw himself as a victim.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: When Kara heard this story, he found out that this
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: was a sign of Tame's loyalty, not his thoughtlessness and irresponsibility.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: Tame also accepted that Sam should come to their home less.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: This principle of acceptance of influence is two-sided, it is
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: not just a message to men. The book is about
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: the difference between a couple who says that a woman
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: always lives with her husband's financial concern, including your financial concern.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Again, the ear is closed.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: On the other side, this time on the side of
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: the woman. Asl-e panjom, mushkilat-e qabel-e hal ro hal konid.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Gatman in fasl ro ba mugayesey do zoj shuru mikone,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: ka har do daran roye yek mushkil-e mushabeh ba ham
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: bahs mikonan. Dar har do mourad, shohar sahmesho az karha-e
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: khune anjam nadode. Zane Alef, az hamon jumla-e awal, kenaye mizane,
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: aslan magar to-e bi-masooliyat sahmi ham az karha-e khune dari,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: You don't even think about your family. This is how
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Bonbass's statement comes in and he can answer the man's question.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: But B's wife, i.e.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Justin, starts in a different way. Look at the washed clothes,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: how they have become dirty. Michael laughs and says he
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: doesn't even think that anyone should wear these clothes.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: Justin says, how delicious it is.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: And this moment causes Michael to suggest that maybe it's
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: better to look at the clothes every day. Another example
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: is Iris. She says to her husband Richard, I'm still
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: alone in the house. You're just thinking about yourself. You're
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: very self-conscious. And the discussion goes on. Now in the
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: second scenario, Iris says the same thing. The house is
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: very messy and we have guests tonight. I'm very upset
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: that I'm working alone. Can you help me? Richard also
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: says without resistance, okay, I'll do it. One request, two
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: different results, just for the difference in the beginning. But
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: the soft start He keeps the path for the continuation
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: of the conversation. From the heart of these witnesses, Gatman
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: has extracted five practical skills. 1.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Start soft. 2.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Accept the efforts of Ashtijoyaneh. 3. Calm yourself and your partner.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: When a physiological change occurs, keep a distance from each
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: other for 20 minutes and then return. 4.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Reconcile.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Instead of insisting on your own complete wish, find a
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: way to get some of.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: The wishes of each person. 5. Bear the other's shortcomings.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: The solution to the problem is to negotiate, not to
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: change the personality of the other party. Gatman writes about
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: his wife that after 40 years, the man has always
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: been late and has not yet abandoned his habit. His
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: wife had found a simple solution, she always said that
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: the flight is half an hour faster. Both of them
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: knew the meaning of this signal is to jump, but
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: instead of praying, they laughed at that word. It's not
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: about what you pray for. It's about how you express
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: your desire and how you pray. A simple desire can
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: be turned into a big prayer with a strong start.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Or on the contrary, a big problem can be solved
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: with a soft start. But some differences have a deep
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: root and will never be solved. The management of these
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: constant differences is the sixth principle. The sixth principle is
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: to turn the tables. That is, how to get rid
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: of unsolved issues. Gatman starts this season with a shocking statement.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: 69% of women's differences are not soluble at all. That is,
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: no matter how much you talk about them and work,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: They never leave each other.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: Because they have a deep personality, value and dreams.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: The defeated couples face the same problems and start the
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: same discussion over and over again without any progress and
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: get more and more distant each time. They are waiting
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: to solve the problems like this, but the successful couples
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: They have exactly the same problems, but they learned to
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: live with these problems. Listen to the story of Edward
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: and his wife Judy. Judy's wife had a competitive asset
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: that her savings were heavy. Edward wanted to sell the
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: asset so that it could be used in the family's savings.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: Judy was not present and every time this discussion came up,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: When the lawyer Gottman worked more closely with them, he
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: realized that the matter was not money at all. Edward
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: was worried that Judy loved Asp more than him. Gottman
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: helped Edward realize that the support of Judy's dream was
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: part of his role as a husband, as a family man,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: not a threat to his relationship. When Edward accepted this
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: and said he was supporting Judy's decision to keep the house,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Judy's laugh changed the whole atmosphere of the room.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Another story is about the life of Catherine and her
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: husband David.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: After a long time, Catherine's Catholic faith became full and
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: she wanted to have a child. David, who did not
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: accept religion, was against the will of faith. At the meeting,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: instead of solving the issue, they were asked to only
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: talk about the meaning of religion. Catherine said of her
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: mother's hard divorce period that the church was the only
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: place that kept her alive. David also said that her warm,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: sincere and of course non-religious family.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: And he fears that.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: The religious beliefs will keep his son away from his family.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: When these two.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Hidden dreams came to light, the atmosphere of the room
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: completely changed. David realized that Catherine's desire to love her
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: son came from her deep love, not from her laziness.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: And Catherine also realized that David's worry was based on
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: her experience of having a good and original family. not
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: his enmity with the religion and faith of Catherine. The
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: result of the fight was that none of their dreams
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: were completely sacrificed. Their son sees the religious and pre-modern teachings,
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: but they pass on the profound and serious teachings of
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: religion to the child and the future. Gottman says that
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: the key to these stories is one thing, Behind every
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: obstacle is a hidden dream, a dream, a fear or
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: a memory that a person sometimes does not even know
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: about and can be solved and discovered with the help
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: of conversation and conversation.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: The goal here.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Is not to solve the problem, the goal is to
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: reach the understanding of the obstacle. The problem may never
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: go away, but the relationship between wife and husband acts
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: like a vaccine and prevents the spread of the virus
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: and the spread.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Of the family.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Gatman suggests four practical steps in serious and permanent differences.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: First, be a dreamer.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Ask yourself, what does this topic mean to me? And
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: where does it come from.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: In the depths of your existence? Second, talk to the
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: other person.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: Talk to each other for 15 minutes and the other
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: person just listen without fighting and without giving a solution.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: Gatman even recommends that.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: The listener just ask what does this mean for you?
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Or where does this dream come from? Not that you
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: see the other person and express your opinion. Sevom, hamdiger
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: ro arom konid. Chaharom, yek musalehe mubagad besazid, ka har
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: do roya ro ta haddi muhtaram beshmare, na in ki
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: yeki ro kamel gurbani kone. Payam e in ast, shayad
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: muhemtarin payam e in kitab bashe.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Hamishe lazim nis mushkil ro hal konid.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: Kafi roya ye penhan poshton ro kashf konid, o be
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: rasmiyat beshnasid.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Wa barash jaa baz konid.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: When this happens, it turns to the last principle, that is,
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: the seventh, the creation of a common meaning that, like Simon,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: keeps all these six principles with him. The seventh principle,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: with value and meaning, leads to a common life. Gottman
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: begins the last principle of the book with the confession
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: of Helen. He says, me and Kevin had a UP wedding.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: It was apparently modern and successful, but it was a
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: lot of work. We were good together, we even had
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: each other as friends.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: But I didn't really feel connected to Kevin.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: It was like we were two families who were just
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: next to each other. Helen and Kevin had made six
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: previous generations. They had friends with each other, their marriages
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: were managed. They made decisions in a common way, but
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: there was still something missing. Prices, goals and common meaning.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: Something that would make two people become a team and
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: fight for that valuable goal. Gatman explains that every marriage
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: is like a society, a little culture, prices, mirrors. He
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: has his own characters, goals and examples. These give meaning
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: and meaning to a common life. Let's start with the mirrors.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: The small repeated patterns that find a special meaning for
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: the couple.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: Gatman takes his own life as an example. He and
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: his wife, Dr.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Julie, Each year, they go to the same local restaurant
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: every year for a week, which is the year of
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: their first marriage. Not only for entertainment, but because this
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: trip is a reminder of the same promise they had
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: in the first years. Mr.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Nick and Mrs.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Holly are also good examples. Because their son had a
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: sensitivity to eggs as a child, They were forced to
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: bake a homemade cake for their child. Years later, their
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: son's allergy was cured. But they also celebrated every child's
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: birthday by baking a homemade cake. A tradition that was
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: more meaningful for them than a cake. NAKSHHA The common
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: views on what it means to be a good husband
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: or father or mother. For example, some wives believe that
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: the father should be the main breadwinner and the mother
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: should be the heart of the family. Some families also
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: divide everything equally.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: The problem is not which one is right.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: The problem is that each person has a common definition
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: of their roles. The fact that this role is valuable
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: for them and they are proud of it To be
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: a father, to be a husband, to be a mother Goals,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: common dreams for the future From cleaning the house to
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: the values ​ ​ they want to transfer to their children Demands,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: things or things that show the values ​ ​ of the
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: family For example, a table, a tablecloth.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: A tablecloth.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: Now we return to Helen and Kevin, who Helen says
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: our marriage is stupid. Helen and Kevin talked about their
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: family stories for the first time in the Gottman's office.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Helen brought her family album and said about her Irish
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: father and mother that her father-in-law waited four years to
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: raise enough money to bring her name to America. Helen
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: said that the message of this story was always faithful
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: to me and I am proud of my father-in-law and mother-in-law.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Kevin also says about his.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Mother-in-law that she was from the Monboud tribe. He had
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: a shop in Kansas, USA, where every Saturday night, he
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: served food to the needy families of the city.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: All the people knew this.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Kevin said, my father always said, we are the forgivers,
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: even if we forgive something that we need. This saying
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: became the starting point of their relationship.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Prices such as.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: The feeling of being a team, not a complete agreement.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: With this seventh principle, the idea of a healthy, harmonious
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: relationship is complete. Six previous principles have built the walls
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: of this house. Deep friendship, mutual recognition, respect and improvement,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: the acceptance of each other's influence and the proper management
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: of the conflicts. But without Aslihaftom, this house didn't have
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: a roof. Under the rain of differences and life pressures,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: there was nothing to protect everyone and give meaning.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: To the house.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: 6 hours spell In the last pages of the book,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: Gatman says that he has been in the situation of
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: wives for years who have been involved in the workshops
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: and followed them to answer this question. What separates successful
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: wives from others? Gautamani wanted to discover the formula of success.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: Now the answer was interesting. It was not a big
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: job or an extraordinary decision, but only 6 extra hours
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: a week. He named this formula of success the magic
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: of 6 hours.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: These 6 hours.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Are made from 6 small habits. In fact, here Gatman
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: wants to practice the same seven principles in the context
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: of our daily program. 1.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Good morning.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Before parting, talk about your husband's day program for two minutes.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: What is important for him today? What worries does he have?
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: The same exercise of living the role of love that
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: we said in the beginning is that 2. The opportunity
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: to see each other throughout the day, the same stress
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: reduction that we saw in the third principle, which is
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: to be close to each other instead of being far
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: away in daily matters, or to answer your husband's invitation,
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: and to eat for 20 minutes without food and without
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: solving the problem. 3.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: Daily value.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Every day, even in the worst days, find a strong
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: point or a good work for your partner and thank.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Him in a clear and real way.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Remembering the same second principle, the development of love and
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: the manifestation of favor. 4. The manifestation of love throughout
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: the day, a kiss, a kiss, a kiss, And especially
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: don't end any night without a real break.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Based on how that day has passed. And five, weekly plans.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Two hours a week that is only for you.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Two people without any conflict. An opportunity to make love
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: with each other or even talk about the same constant
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: differences that happened last week. And six, discussing the weekly relationship.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: One hour a week to sit down and talk about
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: the relationship itself. What things have gone well, what things
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: need attention, and what can be done for your husband
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: the week before.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Gathering these six habits is less than six hours a week.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Less than the time we spend on TV or on
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: the couch. But Gottman confirms not to take its effect lightly.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: And yet, the.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Quotes on the book are the main principles of a
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: successful marriage. Two main quotes have been included in this
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: book that we will discuss. The first is that the
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Gatman protests were mostly carried out on middle class American wives.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Critics ask, do these clashes in cultures with larger families
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: and more traditional roles of women and men work in
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: the same way? In response, it should be said that yes,
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: the Gatman women's protest was always carried out on non-American wives,
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: It has not been repeated, so this debt is not
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: without a way. However, the challenges of families all over
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: the world have a lot of similarities to each other.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Just as the divorce rate in most countries exceeds 50%.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: The second debt is that the life of a woman
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: is not always the same simplicity.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: As the seven principles of Gatman.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: What does it do when the feet of caution, domestic
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: violence or deep emotional damage are in the middle? What
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: does the soft start of speech and reconciliation and expression
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: of love and encouragement do? In the past, it should
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: be said that Gatman never claimed that his book was a.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Place of spiritual.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: Healing or abandonment of caution. This book is a good
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: and scientific starting point for the survival of the family,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: not a complete copy for all the economic and political.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: Problems of the country.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: On the other hand, many of these injuries, such as
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: depression and mental problems, are the result of broken marriages
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: and divorced children. And in fact, the best way to
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: deal with them is Zoroj's training is to succeed.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: In women's life Final summary Book 7 in the life
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: of a woman. The book of the seven principles of.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: A successful marriage answers this question that why some marriages
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: become more difficult over the years and some others become
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: more difficult over the years. The answer of Gatman, the
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: result of 40 years of trial trials on thousands of couples,
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: The successful marriage is neither the result of first love
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: nor the result of good and virtue and not even
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: the absence of a marriage, but the result of making
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: friendship deep and lasting. Marriage in the life of a
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: woman is natural, even the happiest children have serious and
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: basic differences in some matters. Asl-e-dawom, parvresh-e-eshq-o-ebraz-e-tahseen-ba-adat-be-deedan-e-nogat-e-qowat-e-ham-sar-na-f-qad-nogat-e-zaf-e-oo. Asl-e-sevom, roya-vordan-be-ham-digar-be-jaye-dour-shodan-az-ham-ba-pasukhdadan-be-hamon-dawat-ha-ye-koochik-e-rooz-mar-re-ke-hesab-e-bank-a-tefee-e-ra-bet-e-ro-por-mi-kone. Asl-e-chaharom,
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: Pazirishe nufuz hamsar ba jedi gereftane nazar e ou dar
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: tasmimat mushtarek e khanawade. Asle panjom, hall mushtelat e qabel
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: e hal ba shuru e narm talash haie tarmim o musalehe.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: Asle sheshum, mudiriyat e masail e hal nashodani ya bonbast
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: ha ba kashf e roya haie penhani ki posht e
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: har ikhtalaf daemi khabideh. And the seventh principle is to
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: build a common meaning by applying a small family culture,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: values and goals that give the life of a woman
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: a meaning. And of course, in the meantime, there are
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: always four passengers in the cabin. Criticism, change, confrontation and division.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Successful marriage. It is not a purpose, it is a
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: daily pleasure. It is made in those small and seemingly
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: unimportant moments of life. When we decide to turn back
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: to our husband instead of turning back, to improve instead
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: of deteriorating, to fight instead of fighting to win, to follow.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: The common ground.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: If you find these three books useful and want to
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: keep this light on, you can help this journey in
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: two ways. 1. With the donation of the right of participation,
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: the link to the financial support and the bank card
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: number is in the description of this post and also
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: in the bio of the channel. Do dar har platformi
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: ke in chekide ro mishnavid ba like kardan wa nazarat
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: saazande wa be khusus ba ersal e in muhtaba barae
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: guruha wa dostaneton ma ro hamayat konid. Chekide mandegar dar
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: payam rasanha ye dakhili wa khariji be khusus dar bale
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: wa telegram ba adres AdSign Esfandiar Khudai dar dasres e.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: Ya kafiye kalameye chekide mandegar ro jostujo konid.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: Motshakaram. Khuda naghahdar shoma.