Latest / Son of a Boy Dad / Ghostbusters | Son of a Boy Dad #292

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Ghostbusters | Son of a Boy Dad #292 · Son of a Boy Dad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey Son of a Boy Dad listeners. You can find
• 0:02
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  Speaker 3: I'll be interesting. Hey, what's going on there?
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: Pal?
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: We saw you the hockey game?
• 3:02
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• 3:03
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• 3:09
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• 3:23
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• 3:26
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• 3:29
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• 3:32
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• 3:33
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• 3:36
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• 3:46
  Speaker 4: I think this is gonna be fine.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we parked our city by that.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: That's pretty much the same thing we talk about.
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: We parked our city at exactly the same time, the
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: same doc. I had to help him get his up
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: and over.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: Yes, I do you have to show me how to
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: do I did it myself, though that's helping. Helping makes
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: it sound like you were like your arms were under mine.
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: You were like, I don't know what to do. I
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: can't park my bike, And I said, you lift it
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: up and over, and then you figured it out. That's
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: me helping you. No, it was a little bit of help.
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: You're right.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: I would not have done that. I would not have
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: gotten my bike in that dog if you didn't show
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: up there you go.
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So I helped him put his bike away, and then.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: Basically, though I was able to do it by myself,
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: you were. It wasn't like a bike was too heavy.
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: It was touch and god it was close.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: Though it was close. In my head the entire time,
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: I was like, he's gonna have to help me lift
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: this up.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: I was watching. I was watching carefully. It's not the
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: easiest thing. No, it's weird, but you just have to
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: keep going.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: Also, my bike was a dud again, not a fast, slow,
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: it's all hell. Legs were gasped.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: But there's nothing better when you hit that first kick
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: and it takes off. Every time. Every time I do that,
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: I say to myself in my own head in an
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: Australian accent. For whatever reason, I go, I've got to floya,
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: I've got to flyya.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: Every time I get on one, I can tell how
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: fast if it's a dut or not. If it feels
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: like my hat is gonna fly off, and when my
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: hat that one. My hat didn't even budge because I
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: was going the same pace as people walking.
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: That sucks. I would have failed.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's only like a ten minute ride. Yeah,
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: come on, all right, well, let's let's leave all that in.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: I saw fly too, all righty. Welcome back to the
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today.
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: April fourteenth, it is three twenty pm. We are here
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: live from HQ three with a missing Roan.
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: Where could he be?
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: Where could Roan be? Well, Roan had his Roan and
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: his kids. We can say that. Oh, his wife posts
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: it on Instagram. Good yeah, congratulations, congratulations to of course.
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's pretty big. It's pretty huge. Who do
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: you think between the two of us is going to
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: meet the children?
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: First? You for sure you lived way closer. You live
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: right near them.
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: Also, I'm more I have better sort of hygiene.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: Roan told me I have to wear a mask if
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: I come visit.
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: End gloves.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, full scrubs.
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: Whereas they want my germs to pass children to help
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: them build up that years.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: Healthy germs.
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, just you know, superior germs.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: Superior mine are the kind of germs like if I
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: get within them, it's it's dangerous. Yes, rounds that I
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: could meet them post vas. I don't know if they're
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: getting vaxed or not. I guess we probably shouldn't talk
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: about Roan's kids too much. I don't know. I feel like,
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: you know, kids are one of those one things, one
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: of those things where it's like you don't really know
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: where the line is, so you're kind of just like,
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: maybe let's just not talk about it.
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: I think that Roan is totally aware and fine with it.
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: But the question would be whether you want to continue
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: to dig up a deeper hole with his wife because
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: you're currently just.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: I comment, all you can see right now is the
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: dirt flying out of the hole.
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: His head is beneath.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: I commented on her Instagram, and I went back to
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: check a few hours later to make sure it said
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: liked by author, and it did, Oh what you said,
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: lose the baby? Wait as fast as again, No, I said, hell, yes, okay,
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: that was my response.
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: Hell yes.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: Everyone was thrown out the congrats.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I was gonna say, can we this is now
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: a family podcast, so I would prefer if we could
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: actually kind of clean up the language a little bit.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: But everyone was thrown out congrats and I wanted to
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: make it a little bit more. Hell yeah, let's fucking.
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: Go oh easy? Yeah right?
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah yeah, did you comment?
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: I messaged them, called them, sent them from Flowers no way,
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: and uh, you know, bought both children some Treasury bonds
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: will appreciate for their college fund.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: That's huge. I bought them Tesla pre dip or pre
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: pre jump m hm. As soon as I as soon
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: as Trump to put the tariffs on, I bought everything
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: four rones.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: Kids, gotcha, and I bought them each a Tesla the
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: Autoodio okay, and those will stay on the assembly line
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: until they're ready to drive them.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: That's great, that's good. Yeah, interesting, Yeah, I mean, dude,
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: my mom called me and was like, what's Ron's address?
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: And I was like, well, and she was like, I
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: want to send him a gift. I was like, you've
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: never even met him when she's and then I asked
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: her own for the address and he didn't reply, hands
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: are full.
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: Well I get that. I mean again, he just doesn't
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: really want you coming over.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: He doesn't want now, He doesn't want me involved in
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: those kids' life at all.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: No, No, I can see that at all. Yeah, that
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: makes sense.
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: Doesn't even want a gift from my mother.
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: Well, you're weird around people babies, I think all people.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: I don't think I'm weird around people at all, especially babies.
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: You holding a baby would be It's just it's so
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: I got. I imagine that would be very uncomfortable for you.
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: Not a very tender guy.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: I've held babies before.
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: You're not very tender.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: I held my my little sisters are young and younger
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: than me, to the point that I held them when
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: they were babies.
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: Well, I could see that, right, I could see you
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: as a young boy before you had developed this brittle
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: exterior that oh anything, no sentimentally, get it away, get
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: it away few long now.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: I love I love babies like I love dogs, cats.
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: You know, I just in my experience when we when
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: we dig deeper into feelings, you tend to kind of
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: get a little uncomfortable.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: I remember when you were looking you think is going
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: to happen if I hold runs babies like I'm.
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: Not like, I think You're going to start looking at
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: upcoming hotel reservations and wonder whether or not the rooms
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: are big enough. That's your go to.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: Completely false and uh actually defamation. Yeah, is that a
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: callback to you getting divorced.
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: That's exactly right.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that story still. I you had told me about
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: it months prior. I know, but that I don't know
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: that that necessarily, It absolutely does.
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: When you're relating it to our next.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: And you me and you had already had you got
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: to just spit.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: Out and be on the sideline. No no, no, no, no,
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: quietly chiming in. God damn, the bathroom doesn't even.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: Have its own door. I actually do think I think
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: I was. I was like me and you had already
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: had like fifteen personal sit down conversations about your divorce.
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: No, that's not right, Yeah, because it was.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: We did it at the stand and then we went
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: to Virginia together. We talked about it the whole time.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: And I was the only one that knew on that trip,
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: so you had you can only tell me, Wait, when
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: did we go to Virginia to the fishing trip?
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was the only one that knew. And who
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: was on there. I don't think I told anyone down
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: there though, exactly except me.
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but we didn't talk about it.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Oh, we did was talk about it? Is that right? Oh?
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: That's all we talked about anytime there was a sliver
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: of free time. You'd look at me and you'd be like,
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: my life is over. Like a camera crew would walk
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: away for like a quarter of a second. You look
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: at me like I'm fucked, Harry. My life is falling apart. Actively.
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: Every bite you take is another step closer to the
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: door for me.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: And I just had to be like, yeah, it's tough, man, Yeah.
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: Here, Paul is not exactly the guy you want for
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: emotional support. If you were an emotional support animal, you'd
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: be like a cat that just goes and sits by
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: the window.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: I think the problem is my reaction to everything like
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: bad news is the same as it would be like
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: to like Rory missing the putt on the eighteenth hole.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: I'm just like, no, really, I'm.
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: Not even going to give you that credit. I don't know.
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: That is more feeling than you had when I told you.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: Was not clue, not true at all. My jaw was
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: to the floor when you told me.
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: No, that's not yes, it was no, it was I
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: remember distinctly going I remember you distinctly you saying, Oh, no,
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: that sucks. How's up?
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: How's the crowd? You're at the stand? You don't even
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: remember you were at the stand when you told me
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: what were we Yes, we were sitting at the table,
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: and you just dropped it on me out of nowhere
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: like a fucking sledgehammer. All right, well, let's move on, Rownette.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: His kids were very happy for him. I wish him,
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: wish him the best. He's going to be back probably
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: within the next couple of weeks or so. And uh, yeah,
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: for now, it's just going to be me and Francis.
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: We'll hold it down.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: Here's something I'm very happy that. Sorry, I'm very happy
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: that this is here. I was I was really under
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: the depression for some reason. Last night. I was thinking
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: about it and I was like, I wonder if that's gone.
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: I've been accused of breathing too loudly into the microphone,
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: and I don't know how to stop doing that. Do
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: you have any suggestions?
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: No, because you're not breathing too heavily into the microphone.
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: Okay, Yeah, I do hear it sometimes and I apologize.
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: I guess.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: I don't use the cans, so I don't know, but
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: I never notice.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: It at all. Got it? You don't use the can.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: Cans headphones, that's what we call them in the industry.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: That's another word for headphones.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, throw on the cans. Why you've never heard anyone
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: say that?
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: Never?
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: Never? Once?
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: Am I wrong? Here? Now we say that all the time.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: Why are they called cans because they look like cans?
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: Is it sort of a throwback to the canteen and
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: sixties suburban America when children would hold out can with
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: a string to the treehouse. I think that's exactly what
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: is it.
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: It is in reference to communicate along along the string.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: Technically this would be a can too though a microphone. Yeah,
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: because that's how it actually talking to the microphone and
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: someone else listens through the through the Are you talking
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: to the can? Someone else listens through a can? It's
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: all cans. All podcasting is is cans. Are the cans on?
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: It's really it's like the oldest form of entertainment.
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: Boy, this is gonna be a mess.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: This is it for the next three weeks.
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: I got something for you my hotel room. I was
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: given the uh, I was given a handicapped hotel really
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: hotel room. Yeah, what is that?
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: You got like a bed? You got like a chair
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: in the shower.
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: That's it. And I'll tell you something. You sat down
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: the handicapped. They got it pretty good.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: You sat down in there large.
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: I did sit down in the shower, but I felt
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: this strange deference to handicapped people.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: We're gonna have to use less big words if Ron's
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: not here.
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: I wanted to honor their struggle. Yeah, so I wore
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: my underpants in the shower.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: Ah, that's freakish.
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: Why did you do that to give to preserve the
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: layer of handicapped seat for them? That to me, sitting
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: naked on the handicapped seat in the handicapped shower would
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: be like parking in a handicapped spot. I see, So
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: I thought I should wear like a like condom.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: You were worried about the germs from the handicap No, I.
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: Really thought I don't deserve this entirely.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: So you went boxers?
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: Did you throw them away after?
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: No? I had you.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: I had worked out in them underwear.
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: I had worked out in them, so they were already sweaty,
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: got it, and I just kept them on, showered, washed
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: them by showering.
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: Smart and then did you wash your dry Did you
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: wash under your underpants?
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah? I reached down.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: Your ass and your and your cock Yep, that's good
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: I'm still very thrown off by the wearing the underwear
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: and the shower, Like I kind of get what you're saying,
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: but in a million years I would never do that.
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: Okay, So here's another thing.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: You throw a bathing suit onto.
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: No, But in high school, I remember when we were
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: freshmen on the basketball team, the we had to shower afterwards. Yeah,
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: the kids brought bathing suits that.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: KB had a story when he went to wrestling camp
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: about when he was about he would shower with his
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: with his with a bathing suit on, and the the
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: camp counselors would be like, no bathing suits. They'd be like,
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: you got a shower. And then we found out that
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: the camp counselors were younger than him. What he was
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: like sixteen and they were like fifteen. And we were like,
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: you had a bunch of fifteen year olds being like
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: pull out your fucking cock. He got. He would get
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: like yelled at and they'd be like, take off the
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: bathing suit. Isn't that insane?
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: You know what's insane is you referring to it as cock?
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: Why as that is the only time I've ever used
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: that word or heard it is in sex.
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: You got to use it more often because it's it's
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: always going to get a baker laugh.
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, except that it is. It is the hot version
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: of it.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: That's why it's funny.
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: Now you're crossing worlds on me there exactly. I think
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: dick is comfortable, Penis is funny.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: Penis penis used to be funny. It's not anymore, are
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: you sure? Positive? Well?
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: Cock Norm said cock a lot, really, and that is
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: what made it funny from him. But I don't know.
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: I like to preserve cock. If a girl says you're
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: cock to me, I think, ooh, she's bad. You know.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but instead of cock is funny.
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: Cock is funny. But from a guy to a guy,
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: and you keep referring to myke Dick as Mike cock,
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: you don't like that. It just I don't know, man,
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: it's a little jarring to me.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: All Right, I'll fall back on the cock when it
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: comes relating to you specifically.
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: That's fine.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if you want to talk about other guys and
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: there I'll talk. I'm still gonna use the word cock,
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: but I just want to use it for you.
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: Far be it for you.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: It'll be penis.
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: That's fine. Yeah, that's fine.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: I'm glad we could meet halfway there.
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: Whatever you want other than.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: Other than cock. That's all you gotta say is just hey,
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: when your friend to my when your fern to my package,
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: don't say cock? Right, do you say penis or dick?
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: That's right, all right, I'm sure with that. Look, it's
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: good that we set up these these boundaries. You know
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: it's going to be just us for the next couple
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: of weeks. It's good. We should know.
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: We should have done this a long time ago, set
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: up boundaries, figured out each other's language and rhythms. I
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: guess we never had the chants because Ron was always here.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: Ron was always here hogging the mic.
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, just swinging the ball from swinging it, swinging it
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: around the point. Uh so yeah, so I had the
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: handicapped bathroom.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Uh And it's a much more spacious bathroom, hugely.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: The bathroom's huge. Two rooms pretty much.
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: No, what what do you mean?
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: It's pretty much like you got another separate room. Yes,
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: how big are we talking?
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: Well, let's put it this way, big enough to have
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: at least two wheelchairs in there?
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, wheeling wheeling, passing each other like this along the kind.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: Of sink sliding door or open close.
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: I can't remember. This was my hotel in Chicago.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: Oh, I think you were talking about Providence when I
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: did the uh uh mini golf?
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: The mini golf? How was that?
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: Was it fun?
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: Super fun? Very disappointing as you lost? Yeah, yeah, we were.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: We were pretty much. We had a bid to win
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: it and it was just one of those It was cash.
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: The prize was cash. Yeah, they've just dumped sixty thousand
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: dollars cash on the table, and you know that's like
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: a nine thousand dollars bonus after taxes, plus he divvied
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: up his people a yeah, five thousand each. Then he
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: took his share and divviated it up, so it was
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: like fifty five hundred, four hundred something like that.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that would have been nice.
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: That's so many visits from my cleaning lady.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah. What do you use cash for? Since you don't
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: let people come clean your apartment? Like tipping?
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: Tipping?
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: Who staff at clubs? Yeah, like genuinely, that's probably the
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: only thing I really use cash for.
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: Word of advice. If I were you, I would take
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: cash out each weekend to.
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: Do that because I just keep the cash on me.
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but then you can write that cash withdraw off
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: as a business expense.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: Oh, I see, I see.
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: You know when I say things like this and it's
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: new information to you, I wonder what your business manager
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: is doing.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: I mean, we're talking like twenty bucks a here.
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: Shit, dude, that's not very much. I think they deserve
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: more than that staff at comedy clubs.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: Well, it depends. I mean, I'm not like, I'm not.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: My weekends aren't bringing in like the amount of money
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: that yours are.
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: Quite literally, you make more money.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: That's so untrue. True times so not true.
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: Well, the point is, I thought you were gonna say,
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: by the way, that in the green room, you don't.
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: You don't ask for drinks the way that I do.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah. Also I don't get anything.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: You get red Bulls.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: Oh I don't know now. I think I drink red
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: bull before going on stage the fetal position. Ten minutes into.
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: The set, you get Heineken zero's.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: I'll get a Heineken zero here and there hat a guy. Yeah, actually,
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: I know it's not true. I get them every single set.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: There you go, so don't go up with that one.
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: You're having a beer beer.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: I don't know what it is. It's some weird mental
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: thing where like I have to have one on stage,
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: like I need what I'm drinking to be beer.
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: I don't drink on stage anymore, well, at least this weekend,
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: I didn't bring anything on stage with me to drink.
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: I think it's because I when I started, I was
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: drinking on stage right, And then when I stopped drinking,
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: I would go up with like a water, and then
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: I would take a sip of the water and I'd
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: be like, Nah, that didn't do it for me at all.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: I'm not actually thirsty. I'm just looking to like catch
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: my breath for a second here, right, So I need
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: I need that nice refreshing honeken zero.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: That's nice.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: The problem is they I tell them. I tell them
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: to bring it like right before I'm going up, because
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: you want cold. I want it cold because if those
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: things get warm, they're just poison. Most of the green
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: rooms have they're fucking so disgusting. Say the green rooms
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: have a refrigerator in them though, yeah, I guess, but
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: they The problem is they bring them back with the
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: cap off, so then they're getting flat. They do oh
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: all the time.
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: I guess that makes sense. What if you asked for
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: a bucket of them.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: The problem is, I don't need a bucket. I need
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: I need one, persha.
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: But here's what we could do. You ask for a
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: bucket of Heineken zero's. They're not going to take the
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: caps off all of those, right, you'd be surprised.
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: No, they won't.
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: You'd be surprised. No one would ever do that. They
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: don't expect you to drink six Heineken zeros so quickly
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: as to have them remain fizzy through the whole thing.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: I think they weirdly do.
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: No.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: I think they expect you to drink them at the
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: pace you would drink a regular beer.
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: All six.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: Yes, no way, you'd be surprised. I'm telling you.
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: I'd be very surprised if they brought you a bucket
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: of Heineken zero's with all of the caps off.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: We'll see. The point is, when I next time I
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: do a full week, I'm going to Edmonton. In a
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: couple of weeks, to Edmonton. I guess that's next week.
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: You get your bucket and they don't take the caps off,
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: You drink one of them, and then they take the
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: five back and there you go. You've solved it.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: True, true, I guess I could also just say leave
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: the cap on. That's another pretty easy work around there.
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: I have another interesting sorry for you got it fire away.
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: So yesterday I was gifted a massage, oh, which I've
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: never I'm not a big massage guy. Okay, and it
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: was a massage in my home.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: Oh a pro sounds like you hired a hooker.
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: I didn't hire this person. This was a gift.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: So this person just showed up. Yes, you didn't know.
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: I knew someone would be coming over to my apartment
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: at a certain time, and.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: You didn't know what for? No, how did who gifted
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: you this? No, I won't say like a friend. Yeah,
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: but you you didn't. So they just said someone's coming
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: over to your apartment at this time.
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: Yep, being home, being home at this time. I have
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: a present for you.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: What was your reaction when you found out that it
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: was a massage.
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: Well, it was either going to be that or a
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: chef or something. I don't know. I knew what, you know,
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: it was going to be something nice. I don't think
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: someone was coming over to subpoena me. That would be funny,
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you've been served, Yeah, yeah, knocked up a.
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: Process server, which, by the way, in in Pineapple Express
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: he wears the disguises.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: I don't know that that's real. Yeah, I don't think
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: it is very funny hilarious.
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: But all you need in order to serve someone right
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: is for them to say their name.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know anything about it.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: Been served because they try to get you to say, hey,
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: are you so and so? Yeah, and they say yeah,
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: and then you say you've been served.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: What a funny job that is. It's quite good. I
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: mean the way how much of those guys make I
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: don't know. I might have to switch and just do that.
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: It sounds so much better, so easy. But just drive
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: around all day. You've been served and then on to
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: the next. It's just like delivering bad mail all day,
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: just like you're You're just like an evil mail driver.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: There's an evil mailman.
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: There is a There was a guy at my show
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: one of the shows, and I said, is anyone here
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: in a union? And he said he is? And I
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: said what do you do? And he goes, I'm a
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: letter carrier. And I go, do you mean a postman?
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: And he goes yeah. And I said, what a fancy
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: way to describe postman.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: Sounds like he's in fucking Harry Potter.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds like you're you know, is.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: He was he from in the United States. It sounds
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: like what people in England would call.
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: It carrying correspondence. Yeah, hither and thither, Yeah, between lovers
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: and children and uh yeah, I it was very funny.
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: It was very funny. But I got to hear a
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: little bit about the post office.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: I said, why did you decide was? I said, was
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: your father in the postal service? He said no. I said,
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: well that what made you want to do this?
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: And he goes the benefits Apparently it's unbelievable in terms
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: of the benefits. Yeah, same with UPS. Apparently the UPS
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: benefits are insane.
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: He said, very good dental. Uh, there's a pension after
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: thirty years. You know, you think about it. It's probably
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: not a bad gig. Now you get to be outside.
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: The biggest problem.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: Is rain, snow dogs. Yeah, that probably depends on where
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: you live.
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: Dogs. What do you mean people have bad dogs everywhere?
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah. But like if you if you're like I'm thinking
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: of a mailman in New York.
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: Like mine, Yeah, sure, so you just put it in
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: through the mail side. That's fine. Yeah, but uh, if
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: you're having to go up to someone's box on a yard, right, dogs,
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: don't you see videos on ring cameras all the time?
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: Dog's German shepherds racing around from the back. Oh yeah,
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: those guys used to jump on top of a car.
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah you ever see that video?
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: No, but it's I've watched it happen in person with
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: my dog.
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: You ever see the video of heyng? I want to
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: hear about that of the guy who's running away from
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: the dog and a woman sitting in her car in
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: a driveway, and he jumps on top of her car.
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: Now I haven't seen that, and she's.
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: Fine with it.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Uh.
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: And then the dog goes away and gets called away
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: or something and he and you hear him go I'm
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: sorry and she goes no, No. I totally understand. It
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: makes you feel good. I like that video.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: That's great. Yeah, my dog is. My dog's attacked multiple
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: male men.
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so you're the problem.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: Well, the problem is our dog is is just not
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: good with strangers. So now he just doesn't meet strangers.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: He's old, so like pretty much what happened was he
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: attacked Mike. He just attacked a couple people, not in
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: a while, it's been years. And then he attacked the
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: Amazon guy bad, like got him, I think, and then
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: you might have nibbled him a little bit. And uh,
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: I used to do a bit about it on stage
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: because my mom. I remember, my mom was chasing my
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: dog and the Amazon guy was just standing in the driveway.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: My mom was chasing him and she was just yelling,
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: he's not friendly. And I was pretty much the joke. Well,
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: there was a bit, there was more to the joke,
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: but I was like, that's not he's not friendly. Doesn't
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: really cut it for like, this dog is about to
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: attack you. He's not friendly. Makes it be like, oh,
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: just like he's not like, just don't.
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: Don't don't be don't mind the fact that he's not
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: shaking her hand.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he's not friendly. It's not like this guy.
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: This dog's about to he's quite reserved. Yeah.
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he's a little uh.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: His jaw is about to wrap around your cat.
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: He's an introvert. Yeah, it takes a while, but once you.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: Get to know him, he'll open up to you. Yeah,
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: so pretty talk to him about legos, fun, common ground.
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: Pretty much the Amazon guy didn't really care, but we
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: were pretty sure that they were like that, like Bezos
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: is going to call us and be like, you gotta
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: put your dog down, because it was Ah, it's not
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: a good situation. But then we were just like, well,
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: he's just never going to be out when there's people
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: coming over anymore. But how do you You don't always know
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: when the we got we got like the electric collar
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: now so that what like the electric fence?
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: Oh you got?
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, he can't get out of the house. He
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: can't get out, yeah, of the yard into the driveway.
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: I see. Yeah, and where where does the Amazon people?
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: The driveway?
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: They drop it in the driveway?
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: Yes, not under We had to add a mail box,
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: like a box has had drop packages here because of
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: my dog.
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: Geez. Yeah, that's a bad dog. What kind of dog.
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: He's like a mix of like a bunch of shit.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Golden Retriever was a rescue Yeah. Mmm, you know it's
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: only men too.
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: That's you're not the first person to say that.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, h And he thinks like he comes back wagging
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: his tail like he's like, I just protected the house.
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: I was hanging out with my buddy Graham and his girlfriend. Uh,
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: in Rhode Island.
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and this was this weekend.
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, And they have a dog, and they are
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: immediately said, he's so bad, Yeah, so bad.
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: I like that. I like when people are honest about
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: their dogs.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I mean.
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: And they said that he only attacks men. He's a
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: problem around men.
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: But if but like if one of my sisters has
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: one of their friends over, it's completely fine.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: What about sort of an androgynous woman? Can your dog tell?
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: Oh, it would be. It's the voice. It's the voice
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: for the most part. Like if someone has a deep voice.
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: It can't smell vaginal secretions.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: I don't know about that. I haven't we haven't really
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: pre come oozing. We haven't really out of what. No,
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: that's you. I'm gonna say cock.
• 31:57
  Speaker 4: Don't say it. I did.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: I said, I'm only not really, I'm only saying cock
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: in reference to your penis. I'm gonna still say cock.
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: You're just taking something I love and ruining it.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: I'm telling it. I can't change the way I speak,
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: all right. But yeah, and bad dog. We almost had
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: to send him away to like a camp. Yeah, we
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: almost had to send him to like a camp to
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: fix him.
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Well, that's what people who own bad dogs always say.
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: They always say, we're gonna send.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: Him to boot camp, and they never We didn't, they
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: never fucking do. We had it like all set up,
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: and then we were just like, now you just you
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: just sit on a land mine.
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: Well no, it's got to a point where you're like, well,
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: just he's just not going to meet strangers. And it's worked.
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: You know, he's out and about the entire day. If
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: people come over, goes in his crate and he likes
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: his great.
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: You know when people are gonna you were able to
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: coordinate that sort of we'll get him inside now because
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: people are about.
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: To be here. Just think you're opening yourself up. Man,
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: I'm telling you, it's probably been five years since he's
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: last bit someone.
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: That's when the Amazon one happened.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a while ago. Oh I thought you
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: said it was not. It didn't happen for a while,
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: and then it happened recently. No, No, the Amazon one
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: was a while ago. It was when the Amazon one happened.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: There was multiple that occurred within that timeframe. Sure, he
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: bit He's bit all three of my friends, Bo, Matt,
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: and Nate. But they were like little nibbles, And that
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: was kind of when we were like, is this a problem?
• 33:28
  Speaker 4: He bit all three of your friends on.
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: Separate occasions when I was in high school.
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: That's nuts.
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, not bad, not like that. No one was like
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: bleeding or anything.
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: Do you think that in order for me to kind
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: of be part of the crew the way that I
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: want to be, you'd have to get Yeah. Absolutely, I
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: need to get bitten.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: How much time do we have for my dog? Yeah?
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: No, idea.
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: How much time does your dog have left?
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: I would say anywhere between a week and three years.
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: Okay, all right, I can live with that.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: I mean, didn't I tell you guys a couple of
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: weeks ago that I thought he was getting put down. Yeah,
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: and he didn't. They send him home. You're like, now
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: he's fine, but he's not. He's like, he's old as fuck.
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: Is there a part of you that wants him to go?
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: No, not at all. What are you fucking nuts? Why
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: would I want him to go?
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: Because you haven't said a nice thing about him since
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: we start.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: No, I love him.
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: Oh that's the first time he said that.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I would, that's first. He's my screensaver on
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: my phone on both things.
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: Let me see.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: Right there. Oh wow, yeah, I like the one in
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: the back. Yeah, that's my sisters. Who's that that's Tuca.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: I like Tuca named after Tuca Rask. Oh yeah, the
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: Boston Ruins.
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: The goalie with the strong political views.
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, great goalie.
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: What about the what about the bad one? What's his name?
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: Stitch? Okay, yeah, because because because when he gets ahold
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: of you gotta get stitches. Yeah, we changed his name
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: late in his life, really make him sound a little
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: more tough. Now from when we got their name, their
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: names were Lee Low and Stitch and we kept them gotcha.
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, this guy came over to give me a massage,
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: and uh, I was a dude.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: This just mentioning this. Now a man showed up.
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: I was in the middle of telling the story. Somehow
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: we got sidetracked into a forty five minute thing.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: Your exact words, where we can pull it up. You said,
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: I want to battle dog. You said, I want to
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: hear about that.
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: Fucking guard dog that protects whatever you guys are hiding.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so the just so the man showed up shirtless, Yes, no,
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: shirtless at the door shows up up? This dude.
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: First of all, he thought he was going to be
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: massaging the person who booked it for me, who is
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: a woman, and saw me and said where is she? No,
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: and I said, oh, she got that for me as
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: a present.
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: What a letdown for that guy, I'll.
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: Add this dude was a six foot five black guy
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: with dreads down to his waist.
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and strong, I'm sure.
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: And deep voice. The probably the straightest boy tire I've
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: ever seen in my life.
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: What was the attire when he pulled up?
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: I don't know, like jeans and a T shirt. Okay,
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: he certainly wasn't in scrubs or any sort of I
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: do massages for a living. This is nuts what happens here.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: By the way, the way that this goes down, so
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: immediately I think, oh no, this isn't some There's no
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: feminine energy between us at all. There's nothing feminine at
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: all about the situation.
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: You should have sent him home. He's lie. But yeah,
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: the massage was great, dude, you can get the fuck out.
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: Don't want I don't want you here. You don't want
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: to do this, Get the fuck out of here? Well?
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I mean I don't know. It was a gift.
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: It had been paid for. I didn't want to turn
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: down that nice thing.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so.
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: He says, my my apartment's small. There's only one place
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: where he can set up his massage table, which is
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: in the living room. And I had to move my
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: coffee table in order to do that. And so he
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: and I had to lift my coffee table and we
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: set it down in the kitchen and then uh, you know,
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: he he goes, I'm going to go into the bathroom
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: and you do what you gotta do. That's what he said,
• 37:31
  Speaker 4: which means get hard, not yet, start warming up, not yet.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: So now now I strip way, no genuinely, what is
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: do what you gotta do?
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: What do you get into your underwear?
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: I'll get naked, but no, not naked, and he's on,
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: of course, well that was I wasn't sure about that
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: because I've had massages before where they tell you to
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: get naked and get under the sheet and then they
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: go So I had to specify underwear on right, and
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: he goes, what.
• 38:12
  Speaker 4: Oh, this is brute, And I go underwear on right
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: and he goes, yeah, oh no. And by the way,
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: he asked me for two sheets. I had to provide
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: the sheets from my own bedding to you know, to
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: cover an oil to cover his table, and he also
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: needed two pillows.
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: So he's coming in unprepared.
• 38:40
  Speaker 9: Apparently, hands apparently right tools, No, he and the table,
• 38:48
  Speaker 9: But apparently this is normal.
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: I've never had an in home massage.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: Of course.
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: Again, I'm not a huge massage guy. I've probably only
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: had five or six in my life, which maybe that's
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: a lot.
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: I don't know that's a decent amount. But I don't
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: think it's like, that's not like you're not a massage guy.
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: No. When I go on vacation, Mike, growing up, it
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: was massages like mini bars at hotels were impressed upon
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: me as being a astronomically expensive thing. Yeah, so far
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: out of the question. I always wondered what they would
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: be like. I don't think I had my first massage
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: until I was twenty four.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: Really, yeah, I just turned twenty four. Maybe it's time.
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: You've never had one. Never, not a single massage ever.
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: Okay, I've I've I've thrown like one of those like
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: heat pads on my back.
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: One and I both know that that's not.
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: My mom has one that has like the rollers on
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: the back so it massages your back while heating it.
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: That's nice.
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, okay, she brought it off of like the
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: TikTok shop. It's one of those things that you're like,
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: this thing is gonna break at any second. Yeah right, yeah,
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: of course Marry flimsy.
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: Well, uh so he go he goes into the bathroom
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: while I change, got it. But I just now, now
• 40:06
  Speaker 4: I've put the sheets on the thing. The Masters is on,
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: and I'm super keyed in. Rory's on the set. He's
• 40:13
  Speaker 4: just doubled the first hole.
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: Okay, right, this is early. It's like around two it
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: maybe maybe maybe maybe it was an hour in but
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: maybe this is yesterday. Yeah, so you just got back
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: from the road, got it.
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I walked in the door, had an hour, watched
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: the Masters, and then he showed up.
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah. What was his name?
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: Marquise?
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: Marquise. Oh man, I'm not making any I know, I
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: believe you. It's just for it couldn't have been a
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: more black name. So this is I'm I am internally,
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: I am howling laughing.
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: I had a feeling. Uh so I'm with Marquise and
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: now I'm getting changed, and I He's gone into the bathroom,
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: presumably to give me the privacy to get into my
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: underwear and get under the sheet.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: He tells me to get into the sheet. But I
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: get under the sheet and then I hear him peeing.
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: And he's peeing.
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: It's as if you could imagine that he's peeing so
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: hard that all the water in the toilet bowl is
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: gone to the side, and he's power washing the bottom
• 41:19
  Speaker 4: of the bowl.
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean.
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: He's peed through the water and it's all just like ah,
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: to the sides.
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: It's a dad piss.
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So then he comes out and he goes, I'm
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: under the sheet, right.
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: So he comes out, You're already under the sheet.
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he told me to do that. So I'm under
• 41:41
  Speaker 4: the sheet and I'm on my I have my face
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: down in the doughnut whole thing, and I've put my
• 41:47
  Speaker 4: I've put my phone. You see him coming, well, I
• 41:51
  Speaker 4: hear him. Yeah, but I've also got my phone. I
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: put my phone with the Masters streaming under on the
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: floor directly beneath my face hole so that I can
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: watch it on low volume. So I'm I'm I'm now
• 42:13
  Speaker 4: all set. I'm good. I'm gonna watch the Masters. And
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: he goes, all right, I've got three different creams. You
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: can choose from I've got those were his words, not
• 42:25
  Speaker 4: maybe not gloss, massage oils, shells or something. And he
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: goes the first one, I've got a mild, I've got
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: a medium hot hot, and I've got a basic massage GEL.
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: And I said, what does hot mean? And he goes,
• 42:46
  Speaker 4: you know, like icy hot or tiger bomb, and he goes,
• 42:51
  Speaker 4: but I left.
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: And this is all while your face is in the hole.
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: Got it?
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: But I but he go, I go, he goes, I
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: left my the at home. And the way that he
• 43:03
  Speaker 4: had presented the Basic Massage GEL made it clear to
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: me that he did not want to use that. He
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: said it as an afterthought because it's a mess well
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: that or he just believes in the efficacy of the
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: other two better because those were by the same brand.
• 43:19
  Speaker 4: And then the massage JEL was its own thing. And
• 43:22
  Speaker 4: so I thought, I go, how hot is the hot one?
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: And he goes, it's not so bad. It's not as
• 43:27
  Speaker 4: bad as the hot the extra hotway he goes, it's
• 43:30
  Speaker 4: just the medium. So I go, okay, let's try the medium.
• 43:36
  Speaker 4: I have very sensitive skin. Yeah, right, of course. So
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: he starts going. First of all, he's the strongest man
• 43:44
  Speaker 4: who's ever touched me. I mean, you know, immediately, and
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: not only that, but now we're talking now about how
• 43:52
  Speaker 4: he's worked with one of his clients played for the
• 43:55
  Speaker 4: Knicks in the nineteen seventies, and now we're talking about
• 43:59
  Speaker 4: the end, and I am trying to stratify the situation
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: we're in as much as possible. We're talking about Jalen Brunson,
• 44:09
  Speaker 4: and I tell him my team is the Celtics, and
• 44:11
  Speaker 4: he says, boy, I'm much more worried about them than
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: I am about any other team in the East, far
• 44:15
  Speaker 4: more than the Calves. And I said, yeah, about the
• 44:17
  Speaker 4: Calves are going to win sixty five games this year.
• 44:19
  Speaker 4: And I'm just dropping as much NBA knowledge as fast
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: as I can out of the gate to let him know,
• 44:24
  Speaker 4: in no way do I expect you to tell me
• 44:27
  Speaker 4: to turn over and finish me.
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 44:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, right, that's just establishing that I get the parameters
• 44:32
  Speaker 4: here the way that I told you. I don't you
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: saying cock. It's a very similar thing, Yeah, of course. Right,
• 44:39
  Speaker 4: So we're just talking NBA. I'm watching the Masters. It's
• 44:44
  Speaker 4: it's pretty good. It hurts the hot first, his thumb, Yeah,
• 44:53
  Speaker 4: his thumb has the strength of my arm.
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 44:56
  Speaker 4: Right, he has as much strength in his thumb because
• 44:59
  Speaker 4: he's doing my neck. I told him specifically that my
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: neck hurts a lot. I have a lot of tension
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: because I'm always lifting, and I think I clenched my
• 45:07
  Speaker 4: jaw while I lift, so I end up just carrying
• 45:10
  Speaker 4: a lot of strain on my neck. And he is
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: rubbing my neck. It feels like he's got you know,
• 45:18
  Speaker 4: like some kind of a a business end of.
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: A pool cue full weight.
• 45:24
  Speaker 4: Leaning into my neck and it's just his thumb.
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: And finally I go I start laughing, but it's a
• 45:32
  Speaker 4: painful laugh and I'm like and he goes, what And
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: I said, can you bring it back ten? And he goes, okay, okay.
• 45:45
  Speaker 4: And then the heat kicks in. And at first it
• 45:50
  Speaker 4: came on slowly, very slowly.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: As will.
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: It sort of starts to seep through the layers of
• 45:56
  Speaker 4: my skin until it gets and it's kind of fine
• 46:02
  Speaker 4: over my back. But when he started to get into
• 46:06
  Speaker 4: sort of my armpit area because he did like this,
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: the skin of my armpit has no exposure.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's very sensitive.
• 46:15
  Speaker 4: It's probably the most sensitive skin.
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, my armpit, of course, what's that I said next
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: to the cot don't do it.
• 46:24
  Speaker 4: I don't want to hear it again. Okay, Brown's children
• 46:27
  Speaker 4: are less through the cans.
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: You're not going to use this hot shit when you
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: jerk me off?
• 46:35
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: Imagine if you said that you better than I use
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: this hot ship. Going to wash your hands first?
• 46:51
  Speaker 4: My armpits start to feel like they're on fire. Yeah,
• 46:56
  Speaker 4: it felt like someone was holding a lighter under my arm.
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: You ever use anti persper and deodorant?
• 47:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: Does that fuck up your armpits?
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: I haven't used it in a long time, but it
• 47:06
  Speaker 4: didn't when I When I.
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: Did, when I use that, it made my armpits bleed.
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: I one day I went to shower after using them,
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: and I and I went like that and there it
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: looked like someone took a razor blade to Really, Yeah,
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: I can't use it. I have like a terrible reaction
• 47:20
  Speaker 3: to Is that nomergic? I don't know if it's I
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: think it's like a lot of people are sensitive to it.
• 47:24
  Speaker 4: They have aluminum in them. Yeah, that's what most people
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: don't like.
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: It seliced and diced my armpits. Never use it again?
• 47:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah? Well so now, I mean, now I have the
• 47:34
  Speaker 4: pain from his pressure. Yeah, combined with the pain of
• 47:37
  Speaker 4: the burning skin, and it's really bad. I mean it's
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: really right.
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: Now you're just in pain.
• 47:42
  Speaker 4: I mean I'm not enjoying it at all. Yeah, there's
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: no part of me that wants this to continue. How
• 47:48
  Speaker 4: long did these typically last? It was in ninety minute?
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: What ninety minutes when we started.
• 47:55
  Speaker 4: I think Rory was on the second hole. By the
• 47:57
  Speaker 4: time he finished, he was on fourteen.
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: That is fucked. Yeah, I thought it was gonna thought
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: you're gonna say, like twenty five minutes, Max.
• 48:06
  Speaker 4: No, it was a long long time son of a boy.
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: Dad is sponsored by Better Help. Let's talk numbers. Traditional
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  Speaker 4: And at one point he did tell me to turn
• 52:49
  Speaker 4: over right, and I turned over and he put a
• 52:56
  Speaker 4: folded pillowcase over my eyes, and I said, do you
• 53:02
  Speaker 4: mind if I see.
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: The most homophobic massage that's ever taken place?
• 53:05
  Speaker 4: I go, do you mind if I watch The Masters
• 53:09
  Speaker 4: on my phone? And he goes, that kind of defeats
• 53:13
  Speaker 4: the purpose, So I said, okay, And I just couldn't
• 53:18
  Speaker 4: watch The Masters with five holes to go.
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: So now I missed the ending.
• 53:25
  Speaker 4: Paused it, and then did not look at my phone
• 53:28
  Speaker 4: and watched the rest on my TV from that moment
• 53:32
  Speaker 4: without having any idea of what it is. Fortunately, but
• 53:36
  Speaker 4: you know, I was so dialed into what.
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: Was going on.
• 53:39
  Speaker 4: I had bet on Rory.
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: It's kind of tough, I know, but this guy for you,
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: that's like the Super Bowl for you?
• 53:46
  Speaker 10: Yes?
• 53:46
  Speaker 4: Correct? Uh So we're uh, you know, we're Now I'm
• 53:52
  Speaker 4: facing him and he's doing my front, my chest. Now,
• 53:57
  Speaker 4: my nipples are burning, everything's burning my whole body. And
• 54:02
  Speaker 4: at one point I sort of peeked out from under
• 54:06
  Speaker 4: the thing, and I could see that my skin was
• 54:08
  Speaker 4: turning red. Yeah, really really red. And I just let
• 54:14
  Speaker 4: him keep going and for the full ninety yeah, because
• 54:18
  Speaker 4: I had this vision that I don't know what it was.
• 54:21
  Speaker 4: I just felt like I couldn't say anything.
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: You don't think you could just be like, ah, that's good.
• 54:28
  Speaker 4: I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: I don't think he really do you think he do
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: you think they care? Like if you were like, if
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: you were like, I'm good, I'll pay you in full
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: of this dude.
• 54:37
  Speaker 4: This dude took it very seriously.
• 54:40
  Speaker 5: Yea.
• 54:41
  Speaker 4: And for what it's worth, in spite of how difficult
• 54:45
  Speaker 4: and painful the cream thing was, he was so strong
• 54:50
  Speaker 4: and so on point with what where he was massaging
• 54:54
  Speaker 4: and like what he was doing that I actually think
• 54:57
  Speaker 4: he's going to have a good career in this. Yeah.
• 55:00
  Speaker 4: And I say that because after he was as he
• 55:03
  Speaker 4: was leaving and putting his coat on, this is insane,
• 55:09
  Speaker 4: he admitted, that I was his second client ever. Oh no,
• 55:14
  Speaker 4: And I go, what about that NIXT guy? And he goes, oh,
• 55:17
  Speaker 4: I personally train him. I didn't massage him.
• 55:21
  Speaker 10: Ah.
• 55:22
  Speaker 4: And I go, I thought you said that you used
• 55:23
  Speaker 4: the cream on him, and he goes, no, he's the
• 55:25
  Speaker 4: one who suggested the cream to me.
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: So anyway, so he's just getting a start. Apparently, how
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: did the person or do you find it?
• 55:36
  Speaker 4: He asked me at one point if there was a
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: gem in my.
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: Building, because he wanted to get a pumpin.
• 55:42
  Speaker 4: No. I said, I said there is, and he goes, uh,
• 55:46
  Speaker 4: do you mind if I take a look around after this?
• 55:50
  Speaker 4: And I said, well, it's a lifetime I mean it's
• 55:52
  Speaker 4: connected to the building. Oh And he goes, oh, I
• 55:54
  Speaker 4: can't Yeah, I can't go in there. And he goes,
• 55:57
  Speaker 4: I do personal training as well, So I was trying
• 56:01
  Speaker 4: to see if I could find some clients.
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: So he's fully just hustling it.
• 56:06
  Speaker 4: Definitely, he said that at the very beginning, and the
• 56:09
  Speaker 4: fact that when someone starts admitting that they do like
• 56:12
  Speaker 4: nine other jobs, yeah, it definitely wears away your confidence
• 56:17
  Speaker 4: in the fact that they're about to do this thing.
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: So he told you that he was he only had
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: This is his second time ever doing it massaging. But
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: he told you he asked if he could look around
• 56:27
  Speaker 3: the gym.
• 56:28
  Speaker 4: Before at the beginning.
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a red flag right off the bat. Were
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: you like, why.
• 56:35
  Speaker 4: No, I just said that. I said the thing about the.
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: Life Lifetime, Yeah, and he said I'm not allowed in Lifetime.
• 56:41
  Speaker 4: He thought it would be like an independent good gym
• 56:44
  Speaker 4: to the building.
• 56:45
  Speaker 3: They already have trainers at Lifetime.
• 56:46
  Speaker 4: And they exactly Yeah.
• 56:48
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 56:48
  Speaker 4: He said he had tried to apply there for a
• 56:51
  Speaker 4: job and they didn't want him, and he goes, but
• 56:54
  Speaker 4: that's okay, their loss or something interesting. Yeah.
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: Where did the person that bought this for you? Find him?
• 57:04
  Speaker 4: On a website called big Toe?
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: Mm hmm and now one of the he's one of
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: the top guys we're over at big Toe.
• 57:14
  Speaker 4: Apparently now he here's the other thing ready?
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 57:20
  Speaker 10: Uh.
• 57:21
  Speaker 4: When he finished up, I finally looked around. The cream
• 57:26
  Speaker 4: is orange.
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's why you were read.
• 57:29
  Speaker 4: My sheets destroyed never Yeah, I can never use them again.
• 57:35
  Speaker 4: I washed them on high hot water, blasted him. They
• 57:40
  Speaker 4: came out looks like you know, somebody ejaculated creams to
• 57:47
  Speaker 4: call all over my fucking sheets.
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: That is fucking crazy.
• 57:52
  Speaker 4: And those are my nice sheets because I only have
• 57:54
  Speaker 4: two sets of sheets.
• 57:55
  Speaker 3: So what were you?
• 57:56
  Speaker 5: What?
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: What what is your overall mood? Like, what's your overall
• 58:00
  Speaker 3: away from this positive experience? Negative experience? I liked that.
• 58:04
  Speaker 4: I think that my thought would be, you know, weirdly
• 58:12
  Speaker 4: I feel I felt once the once I showered. Yeah,
• 58:16
  Speaker 4: by the way I took a shower and rubbed all
• 58:20
  Speaker 4: the stuff off, you couldn't see it on my skin,
• 58:23
  Speaker 4: but then on the water around the drain there was
• 58:27
  Speaker 4: this orange foam that looked like I was washing nuclear
• 58:31
  Speaker 4: waste off of my body. Yeah, that was pretty disconcerting.
• 58:36
  Speaker 4: So once I got all that, it still took a
• 58:38
  Speaker 4: while for my body to kind of cool down. And
• 58:41
  Speaker 4: I had I had resigned myself to the fact that
• 58:44
  Speaker 4: my body was going to be covered in burn marks forever.
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: So he leaves, you're still in pain.
• 58:51
  Speaker 9: Mm hmm.
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: That's crazy, Like how much pain are we talking, dude?
• 58:55
  Speaker 4: Imagine it truly felt as if imagine someone you had
• 59:00
  Speaker 4: a sunburn all over your body. Yeah, and then someone
• 59:03
  Speaker 4: rubbed like chilies all over the sunburn.
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: So like extreme pain. Yeah, dude, But he's leaving and
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: you're like, oh, thanks, like you're you're holding back, like
• 59:16
  Speaker 3: oh I tipped him, but you're holding back like your
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: head like I am in so much pain right now.
• 59:23
  Speaker 4: In the shower, as I was scrubbing it off, I
• 59:27
  Speaker 4: was using a washcloth because I felt like I needed
• 59:30
  Speaker 4: to get it off my skin as fast as possible,
• 59:33
  Speaker 4: but it had the combined effect of kind of exfoliating,
• 59:36
  Speaker 4: which was also painful.
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 59:38
  Speaker 4: So in the shower, I was doing everything I could,
• 59:41
  Speaker 4: but I couldn't stop myself from going, oh God.
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: So yeah, you're streaming in the shower and was making
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: yeah yeah, oh, I.
• 59:49
  Speaker 4: Was making sounds like that. And because I had heard
• 59:52
  Speaker 4: how loudly he peeded, I knew he could hear me,
• 59:54
  Speaker 4: and I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
• 59:57
  Speaker 3: He was in the house still when you were showering.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 4: Folding up his table and putting his coat on.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: And then you get out of the shower, he's still there. Yeah,
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 3: this is crazy. How long was he there? For? Three hours?
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 4: A while?
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: Damn a long time? So would you do it again?
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 4: I think that my answer to that would be I
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 4: would buy shitty sheets. I would not let him use
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 4: that cream. But and then I would really research what's
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 4: going on in the NBA.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 4: And then I would do it again with Marquise Yeah,
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 4: because again, the way that he left me feeling once
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 4: the pain from the cream subsided was better than any
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 4: massage I've ever had.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 3: Actually, Like, right now you feel good, you feel that's good. Yeah,
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: But do you think that's because you think that's because
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: of the massage or do you think it's because you
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: were in so much pain that now you're still just
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: experiencing hard belief? It's hard about the relief of the
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 3: pain being over.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's hard.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: That's not a bad strategy for a massage, Just like
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: hurt the person for an hour and a half and
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: then after when they leave and then you're like, man,
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: I finally feel normal again, and you're like, man, maybe
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: that massage actually did help. Yeah, that's what happened, because
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 3: you're you forgot how good it feels to not be
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 3: in pain.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 4: M hm.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: So your Sunday was pretty much you just you were
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: just in pain for three hours straight.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but again that evening I felt amazing interesting, And
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 4: then I turned on The Masters and watched Rory barely win.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: You know, I missed the entire thing what I missed
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: that whole thing, dude.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 4: I was on stage Justin Rose making his putt on
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 4: eighteen was one of the craziest things I've ever seen.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 3: I didn't even watch Justin Rose. I just went back
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: and watched.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 4: Rory. I mean, my god, the like that drive on
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 4: eighteen is so narrow to the eye. And you know
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 4: that if you're right, he's blocked off because in twenty
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 4: nineteen when Tiger won, he had to lay up. Yeah,
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 4: and then there's the bunker on the left and Ludwig
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 4: Gabe Oberg had just fumbled the eighteenth hole to the
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 4: tune of a triple Bogie because he dumped it in
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 4: the bunker couldn't get out. Yeah. So there's chaos happening everywhere.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 4: And I want Rory to win so bad. What odds
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 4: did you get him at plus six fifty? Yeah?
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 3: How much you put on it?
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 4: Fifty bucks? Dagn So I won three seventy five.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 3: That's huge. Yeah, that's a good win. And you you
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 3: got him at plus six fifty from.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 4: This before the fourth then started. That's good? Yeah?
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 3: Good?
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 4: But uh yeah, he you know, he hits an unbelievable
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 4: drive on eighteen and you're like he's gonna do it. Yeah,
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 4: all he needs to do is just put this ball
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 4: in the green.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: And then he puts it on the green. Perfect.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 4: No, No, he dumps it in the bunker on the right. Oh, okay,
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 4: shades of Greg Norman who blasted his five iron into
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 4: the crowd on the right. It wasn't that bad. Yeah,
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 4: he dumps it in the bunker on the right, and
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 4: you think, oh god, is that is that lie plug?
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 4: You see that it's fine, and you think, okay, well
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 4: he'll get up, he'll get up and down. Yeah, but
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 4: at this point you just you can't even breathe.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: And so what is he going for at this point
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: to win?
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 4: It's par If his car as the hole, he will
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 4: win the Masters, okay, because he's up a stroke.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then obviously he doesn't bar the hole.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 4: Well, he gets it onto the green, but he leaves
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 4: about five feet justin Rose has just made a thirty
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 4: foot birdie putt okay to put himself at eleven under,
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 4: but Rory's twelve under. Yeah, so he makes Parry wins
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 4: and he's got five feet left. You can't even breathe.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 4: You cannot even breathe watching this. Yeah, he hits his putt,
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 4: it slides to the left. Missus, the hole puts it
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 4: in and you think, here we go another Rory choke. Yeah,
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 4: it's gonna happen again. And this is the closest he's
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 4: ever been because he also had an eagle putt on fifteen.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 4: I think that he missed, so he made birdie there,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 4: missed a relatively easy pot on sixteen, made an amazing
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 4: birdie on seventeen, to which he needed in order to
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 4: get to the position he was in. Missus, the putt
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 4: bogey brings him back to eleven under. They go play
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 4: a playoff and they want to play eighteen. Yeah, it's
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 4: just one hole, one hole. Justin Rose steady as a
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 4: as an arrow, puts it right down the middle right, Rory,
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 4: unbelievable drive again on eighteen. You can't believe it. Yeah,
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 4: Justin Rose hits an awesome shot, approach shot on eighteen,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 4: but to like fourteen feet, got kind of unlucky y
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 4: because it was gonna go up the hill and didn't come.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 4: And then Rory hits.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: That the house hit a house.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he hits a a three quarter lob wedge. Yeah,
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 4: that goes up the hill and rolls back to about
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 4: three feet justin Rose misses his putt. Rory goes up
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 4: and you're like, dear god, yeah, if he misses this
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 4: three foot yeah, we're all gonna die.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 4: And he makes it. Dang, and he starts crying, and
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 4: I mean I was, I was crying.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I heard from a lot of people.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 4: I was crying still from the cream. You know, it
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 4: was still kind of it at its peak.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: But uh, I'm so bummed I missed it, dude. It
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 3: was st I didn't even know what was going on.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 3: When I got off stage. I checked my phone. Everyone
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: was talking about Rory, but I was getting like a
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 3: mix of the tweets of like he joked it, and
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 3: it was like, I don't know. I couldn't. I was like,
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 3: did he win or not? Then I ended up looking
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 3: it up and I was like.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 4: Fuck, dude, it was. It was the best masters. I mean,
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 4: you could easily make an argument that it was better
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 4: than when Tiger won in eighteen, because Tiger won.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 3: Tiger winning in twenty nineteen was one of the greatest
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 3: sports moments I ever watched.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 4: This is up there, yeah, and and and partly because
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 4: I mean the story of Tiger winning is probably better. Yeah,
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 4: but Tiger was up two strokes, he could bogi eighteen. Yeah,
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 4: it was a little more anti climactic than Yeah, that
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 4: makes sense then Rory, who had to steady himself through
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 4: horrific tough like missus.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, don't you feel like if you're Rose and you
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: see Rory fuck up the eighteenth hole that putt, and
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 3: you know you're gonna go to an over like a playoff,
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 3: don't you think you're like, I've got I'm one hundred
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 3: percent gonna win this, Like he's gonna crumble.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 4: I think that.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 3: I mean, Rory probably had to just lock into like
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 3: a different and just be like, I can't fuck this up.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't know what Rory's thought process was.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 4: He said that he was nervous. He said it was
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 4: the hardest day he's ever had on the golf course. Yeah,
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 4: I'm sure. I mean, you know, we played a money match, me, Frankie,
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 4: beef Riggs, Trent at that Jersey Jerry, No, not Augusta.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 3: Have you played Augusta?
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 4: No, that's probably the hardest invite in golf. Yeah, I
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 4: think I would assume. I think it's the number one
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 4: I've played Pine Valley.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 3: Which one's that?
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 4: That's every year it's ranked the number one course in America.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 3: What was the one in what's the one in Rochester?
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 3: They where they've played this opening?
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 4: And the PGA or the Yeah?
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 3: Ok ok, I got an invite to there. O kill
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 3: I think it's called you did. Yeah, that's pretty sick.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 3: You should play that. This was years ago that I've
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: never played that. It's supposed to be awesome. I think
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 3: Brooks won the PGA when it was played there. It
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: was rainy the whole time. That's where that guy made
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 3: the hole in one card in my wallet?
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 4: Who was the pro?
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 3: Someone gave me a Someone gave me their business card
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 3: when I went to Rochester.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 4: Can I get a copy of that?
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 3: This is someone's business card.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 4: Keep a lot of business cards.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: Now, I just don't throw shit out in my wallets.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 4: That Why do you so much Canadian cash?
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 3: Because what else am I going to do with it?
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 4: Take it out of your wallet and put it in
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 4: his drawer. Why for the next time you visit, You're
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 4: never gonna use that around.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 3: I'm going back to Canada in a couple of weeks.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 3: Oh well, set, okay, fair enough, I don't have to
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 3: take cash out again.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Will you listen to me about that tipping of
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 4: the wait staff at the comedy clubs though, Yeah, we'll
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 4: say you should withdraw money from your from your business
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 4: account so that you can use that as a tax
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 4: right off.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it makes sense. I think I can also just
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: keep track of it, right how much I tip?
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 4: I suppose. So. It's just one of those things where
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 4: if you have a paper trail, it's easier to prove
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 4: it to the irs if you get audited.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it makes sense. Damn, I'm bombed. I missed that.
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 3: I missed that.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 3: Man, some great sports moments this week. You see Vegas
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 3: beat Optic. Yeah, yeah, that was a big one.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 4: Well, there was a lot of accusations though against them,
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 4: about what ambots. There are accusations of ambots.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 3: You know, in the professional call of duty. They have
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 3: I think they call it integrity cameras. If cameras behind
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 3: them showing their screens, they can make sure that they're
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 3: not cheating.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 4: It's good. Yeah, that's what we need. Yeah, because the
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 4: sport's gotten kind of out of hand.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 3: I've gotten out of hand.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 4: It's like cycling in the Land's Armstrong era, they were
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 4: at a point now where it's like, Okay, did did
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 4: your guy win because he had ambots on? Or did
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 4: the guy that did our aim bot guy beat your
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 4: best aim bot guy. I mean, at some point it's
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 4: kind of a level playing field.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 3: Not a bad idea. Yeah, have like one person per
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 3: team that's allowed to use ambot.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 4: Or just let everybody use ambot.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but then that would just kind of be the
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 3: computer playing. Isn't that kind of where we're at? Anyway,
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 3: you still think you still believe? Yeah, Look, as someone
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 3: that's actually heavily involved in the streamer community. Now, I
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 3: don't know if you've seen I've I've kind of changed
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 3: career paths. I mean I posted one of your clips.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: You stole my clip and posted it. Where do you
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 3: think I got that? Do you think I was watching you?
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 5: No?
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 3: Actually I was curious where did you get that? I
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 3: have my I have someone hold to you, I have
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 3: my people. That was from the test stream.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 4: Do you think I'm not plugged into the gamer community.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 3: No, but I was surprised to see that you posted it.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 3: Got a lot of likes, yeah, two k.
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because you're gonna quit the game? No? No, no,
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 4: I hate the game.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 3: That was test stream we stream. I streamed for four
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 3: and a half hours on Saturday. It was a blast, great, flawless.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 4: Can you make money doing that?
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 4: Did you know? How do you make money?
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 3: You gotta get so there's like different ways. I guess
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 3: I don't really know anything about this. I literally was
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 3: like it was Friday morning. I woke up and I
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 3: was like, I kind of want to try to do this,
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 3: just because I think it would be fun, and also
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 3: because I don't use social media, like I don't use
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 3: my Instagram or Twitter, or I use my Twitter more
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 3: than I use Instagram. But I was like, I feel
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 3: like if I had another social media that I would
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 3: actually use and I could like promote shows that way. Dude,
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 3: I had one dude just spamming my ticket links the
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 3: entire time in the chat.
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 4: What does that mean? He was reposting it just.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 3: Just in the chat. He would just be like, come
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 3: Zeeco see SaaS on the road. That's cool with my
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 3: link to my website.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 4: How many people were watching?
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 3: I think we peaked at like three hundred's excellent. Yeah,
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: not a time, but it was like we never dipped
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 3: below like one sixty for four and a half hours.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 4: Feel like if people if you said, hey, everyone, everyone
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 4: give me a dollar.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, obviously there's that couldn't so yeah, I think,
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 3: but I don't have the donation set up, so like
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 3: I have to set those up. But I'm not really
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 3: even doing it for the money as much as I'm
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 3: doing it just for promo. But and like these are
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 3: in another piece of content to put out.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 4: These big Twitch streamers they make million millions of dollars.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 4: How do they do that? They?
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 3: So I guess with Twitch, if you get enough viewers
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 3: for a consistent amount of time, you become a Twitch partner,
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 3: and then you make money directly off of just ads
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 3: like that. Twitch runs like you would be like how
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 3: this podcast makes money from YouTube? Yeah, when they put
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 3: out when YouTube puts ads on their podcast, which but
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 3: I think it takes like I think I could if
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 3: I go live again a couple more times, I'll become
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 3: a partner pretty easily, that quickly, yeah, just because I
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 3: already have a following, right, and then you can start
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 3: making money. But I don't the things I don't even
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 3: know if I want to use Twitch or YouTube. I
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 3: could have gone live on YouTube easily because I use
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 3: stream Labs, which is like a software that it's complicated
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 3: as fuck. I don't need to explain the entire thing.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 3: But I could either send it out to Twitch or
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 3: to YouTube. And I did Twitch because the YouTube was
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 3: the son of a BOYD had YouTube and I was like,
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 3: I don't really know how the team is gonna feel
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 3: when they open up the YouTube and there's just an
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 3: eight hour video of me playing video games.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 4: I mean, not for nothing. My mentality is, you know,
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 4: more of the merrier.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, throw anything on there.
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 4: If you got something good.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not sure, it's good. If I did it
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 3: on YouTube, I think I would get way more viewers
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 3: than Twitch because everyone has YouTube right right right. But
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 3: it was fun. It was a good time.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 3: People seem to enjoy it.
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 4: That's cool. I'd like to be part of something like that.
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 4: Could we play a different what could we play?
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 5: Uh?
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 3: You know what? I think would be really fun. I
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 3: think if we played a horror game. Oh yeah, good,
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 3: I think that would be very fun.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 4: Can we smoked some of your weed?
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 3: If we could smoke some of your weed, or you
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 3: could smoke all the weed you want. I don't smoke weeds,
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 3: so that would be that'd be up to you. Defamation,
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 3: but defamations, I think that would actually be I've wanted
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 3: to do that for a while. When when a while
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 3: ago me and Roan came up with a bunch of
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 3: ideas for content for the podcast. I think it's a
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 3: lot easier now that we have three people. I think
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 3: that would be fun as fuck, and I think it'd
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 3: be super entering.
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 4: I love that we could light some candles, turn off
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 4: the lights, and then we could watch play like Evil Dead,
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 4: or we could play I don't know what any of
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 4: the big horror Zombie Island is a big one.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 3: Brennan Sagalow plays a bunch of the horror games and
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 3: he sent me a bunch of them that are really good.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 4: Yes, Evil Dead is a big one. Yeah, right, am
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 4: I right about that? Do you guys know the horror games?
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 3: I know thirteenth three, I've never played in thirteenth What
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 3: thirteenth at Freddy's.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 4: I've heard of that at Freddy's. That sounds like it's
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 4: just a combination of Friday the Thirteenth and Freddy krue
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 4: Or I think it is, yeah, something like that.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 3: But like apparently they're like they're fun and I think
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 3: they're fun to watch too.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, good thing. Oh that would be fun, dude.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 3: I know, like Lev, I've never seen I don't know
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 3: if I've ever seen that, but like Lev and like
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 3: uh like Joe Harari No Play. They play those games
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 3: and they say that they're like so fun, and they're
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 3: like funny because apparently there's the one that they play.
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 3: I guess it's like you're in a house. It's like
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 3: a haunted mansion. Everyone's on their own consoles, but apparently
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 3: like you'll be playing and then you'll get killed. Yeah,
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 3: and you're all talking to each other trying to like
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 3: complete some sort of mission or something, and then you
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 3: get killed. And when you get killed, your mic is
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 3: just it goes off. It's muted. So then you're just like,
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 3: what the fuck happened to Francis And it's like, oh,
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 3: he died, he got killed by the ghosts? Yeah until
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 3: the round end.
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 4: Is it scary though?
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 3: Or I think it's I think they're supposed to be
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 3: like pretty scary.
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 4: I want to play a scary one.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 3: I think the most most of them are very scary. Yeah,
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 3: I think that would be more fun because a lot
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 3: of like jump scares and shit, shit, we should try
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 3: to do it. We shoul try to do it within
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 3: the next couple of weeks, okay, whenever run gets back,
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 3: we should try to do it. I think it'll be fun.
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 4: That's fun. Yeah, I'm down for that. Yeah, super cool,
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 4: good idea. Yeah, let's do that. And then what we'll
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 4: do is we'll open up donations and we'll split them.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 3: Well, we'll see about that. Why wouldn't we I don't know.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 3: The whole donations thing. I don't really, I don't really
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 3: get it kind of throws me off.
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 4: Look, people don't have to donate. We're not. We're not
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 4: telling me. Yeah I do. People are enjoying themselves. Look, man,
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 4: I don't know about you. Money does not grow on
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 4: trees right now. For me, No, it doesn't grow on trees.
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 4: And we're in a recession too, so that's the problem.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 4: Don't say that we're able to think that they were
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 4: not so that they'll donate.
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 3: True. True, No one's going to be donating right during
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 3: the recession.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 4: Right I am. By the way, currently I am in
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 4: the lowest spending month that I've had and probably probably
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 4: five years.
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 3: Really, yeah, I'm the total opposite.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 4: I'm two thirds of the way through my billing cycle
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 4: on my credit card, and I think I've spent like
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 4: twelve hundred bucks, which maybe doesn't sound like that little
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 4: to people, but uh, you know, my therapy is like
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 4: five hundred bucks and I get a bunch back from insurance. Yeah,
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 4: but like that's there's a therapy session on there. So
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 4: it means I've only really spent like seven hundred bucks
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 4: in two weeks.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 3: Very huge.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's nothing that's pretty cheap for and that includes
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 4: like trains to you know and stop stuff like that.
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 3: You took the train to Providence.
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 4: No, I flew from Chicago and then I rode home
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 4: with Fights, But I did take a train somewhere and
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 4: then I took Brandon and Fights out to a nice
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 4: restaurant in Providence which has some really good spots. We
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 4: went to a place called Oberlin, which I highly recommend
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 4: if anyone's in Providence, really really good seafood.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 3: Providence has some really nice spots just outside of the
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 3: area that you stay in. It actually know, there's good
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 3: spots in the area you stay in too.
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 4: All downtown, yeah, because the hotel's downtown and then the
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 4: club is an East Providence. Yeah.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 3: When I went there last year. It was my I
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 3: went from my I was my birthday when I was there,
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 3: and my parents drove down and we went to we
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 3: went to dinner or lunch your dinner somewhere and it
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 3: was great. I forget it was called though. And then
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 3: another time, the time before that that I was there,
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 3: was with column and we drove like thirty minutes to
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 3: the water and we got lobster roles at this like
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 3: sick restaurant.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 4: Love that.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 3: It's very fun. Underrated city.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 4: I don't know if people are aware. I keep turning
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 4: my head away from the mic when i have to
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 4: take a deep breath. So I'm really trying to make
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 4: an effort to mitigate my lab breathing. And I'm sorry
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 4: for the fact that, and we thank you for that.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 4: I do have a breathing problem. You know, I've had
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 4: asthma since I was a little kid. Yeah, I had
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 4: it really bad when I was a kid. I used
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 4: to have to do the breathing machine every night. Yeah,
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 4: with the mask. Yeah I was, I was. I had to.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 4: I had you know, melo. They would pump oxygen, heavy
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 4: duty doses of whatever outbauterol and shit. Oh yeah, but
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 4: like I also had an inhaler. Yeah, but I had.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 4: I had to do the machine with the mask, with
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 4: the green mask, with the band, and then I would
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 4: just do coloring books while I was doing because it
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 4: would take a long time. Damn, half an hour forty
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 4: five minutes before bed.
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 3: Do you still have that now?
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 4: I'm sure the technology has improved.
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 3: No, I mean, like you still deal with the asthma.
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 4: Now Here's why I would say that I do because
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 4: in college, when we used to have to run conditioning
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 4: tests before the season, we would have it. We had
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 4: a couple uh. One was run a mile as fast
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 4: as you can, and most of the guys on the
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 4: team could run it sub six minutes. Yeah, I was
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 4: second to last, and we had like our backup goalies
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 4: were chubby. Yeah, and two of them beat me.
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 3: You're lucky that scene in Super Bad.
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I ran a six eighteen mile was the fact,
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 4: as I could manage.
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 3: Wait, six eighteen was the second slowest on the team
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 3: in college. Okay, I thought you were talking about high school.
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 3: Fuck high school did you go to?
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah? No, everyone was in crazy. Also, this was right
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 4: before the season, so like we'd been training all fall,
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 4: but distances I just never could. I could never run distances. However,
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 4: we also did the fifty yard shuttle, and it was like,
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 4: you run fifty yards and back fifty yards and back
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 4: fifty yards and back. Then you get I think, three minutes, rest,
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 4: do it again, three minutes, rest, do it again. And
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 4: I came in second on that. So sprints with quick turns,
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 4: suicide type stuff, yeah, I was very good at I
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 4: could recover quickly from that, but distances I could never do.
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 4: And that's I think that it has to be because
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 4: of the way that my lungs probably were a problem
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 4: when I was a kid. I've always been good at
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 4: running distance.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 3: I can't but I'm slow as fuck, But like I
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 3: can if I'm in shape, like right now, obviously I
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 3: wouldn't be able to run distance.
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 4: I think you'd have a hard time with the sort
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 4: of full on assault you've put on your lungs with
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 4: the weed.
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 3: No, I don't think, I mean you assault your lungs.
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 3: Francis smokes weed out of like a one hitter that
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 3: looks like a crack pipe, and then he's over here
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 3: talking about me. When we went to fucking Cleveland. Yeah, yeah,
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 3: so we went to Cleveland, We're in the green room
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 3: and you're like, can we smoke in here? And the
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 3: guy was like no, And we went outside and you
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 3: bring out your fucking meth pipe. Ye gotta get gotta
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 3: get a little buzz, you know.
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 4: I accept who I am. True, I'm not afraid to
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 4: put it out there. You do. I got a freedom, brother,
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 4: there's freedom.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 3: I got a story. How long have we been going?
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 3: Probably close to an hour? Right, I bet it's over, okay,
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 3: because I don't know if I want to keep the
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 3: I think I'll keep the story in, but we'll say so.
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 3: I was so this happened on Saturday or Saturday night
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 3: post stream, post stream, I have to go do two spots,
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 3: get back ready for the late night sash.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 4: Can I just say something really quickly?
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 4: Green rooms historically caught comedy clubs. They tell you a
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 4: lot of the time, feel free to smoke in here.
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, so that's why I asked that question. I
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 4: don't presume to be able to smoke weed inside. Yeah, anywhere.
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 4: It's just this weird thing where historically you go into
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 4: green rooms, especially in Austin or whatever. Oh yeah, they
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 4: reek of weed and then the owner comes in and
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 4: like Hainsey a joint lights. Yeah.
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's also a lot of the older comics, like
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 3: smoke SIGs in the green room. I remember the one
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 3: one time I did Buffalo and I walked into the
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 3: green room and it smelled like a fucking ash trap
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 3: and they were like, David tel was here last weekend,
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 3: and I was like, it's it's funny that it's been
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 3: seven days and it's still just fucking reeks. But uh,
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 3: so I so I I did. I had two spots
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 3: at the stand, and then I was coming home. It
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 3: was probably around midnight, and uh and I'm getting out
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 3: of the uber and I see like someone else walks
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 3: into the into my building before me. And then I
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 3: see like a bunch of movement and like commotion, and
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 3: I was like, what the fuck was that? And then
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 3: I start making my way closer to the door and
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 3: there's a girl my neighbor.
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 4: U god, damn it.
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 3: That's so funny.
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 4: That's so fucking funny.
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, but the story itself is funny.
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 4: So just very funny.
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 3: I know it's funny, but it's unfortunately not everything is
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 3: good for content. Oh god, damn it, dude, that sucks.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 3: It's all right, we'll get We'll be okay. That was
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 3: such a making feel if it makes you feel any better. Statistically,
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 3: fifty percent of the people that listen to the podcast
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 3: have stopped listening at this point, so we're not missing
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 3: out on that much. Okay, So I'm so anyways, So
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 3: uh on Saturday night, I'm coming home from spots. This
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 3: is post stream. I've got two spots. I get home
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 3: around midnight. I get out of my Uber and someone
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 3: else is walking into the building. I see some commotion.
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 3: I start making my way closer to the door and
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 3: I see someone that lives in my building. You've been
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 3: to my building, you know there's the staircase going down
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 3: before you enter the building. Yes, they are laid out
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 3: across the staircase, laying down like clearly fell. So I
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 3: run in and I'm like, oh my god, are you okay?
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 3: And they're like no, and I was like, I was like,
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 3: that's not the answer I was hoping for at all.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 3: And then I was like I'm just standing there and
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 3: I'm like it's pretty clear they're fucking destroyed, hammered. And
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 3: now I'm standing in the staircase with the public is
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 3: walking by, and I'm standing over this girl that is
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 3: laying down on the staircase, and I'm like I'm trying
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 3: to think. I'm like, I'm a what do I even
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 3: do in this situation? So I go. We sit there
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 3: for like maybe ten more seconds, and I'm kind of like,
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 3: it's just like figuring out what's going on. They said
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 3: they're not okay, and I'm like, okay, do you want
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 3: me to call anybody? Probably a ten second pause, and
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 3: then she goes, who are you even gonna call the Ghostbusters?
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 3: I swear on my life that is all they said.
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 3: And then I have to like awkward and then I'm like, okay,
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 3: they're fucking I'm like, she's fucking hammered, and I like
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 3: awkwardly like shuffle over and I'm like, well, do you
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 3: need anything? And They're like, I don't know my key,
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 3: I don't where my keys are. And then I and
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 3: then I unlocked the door and I held the door open,
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 3: and she stood up and I and I we live
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 3: directly next with you, so I was like and then
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 3: I was like, I don't want to walk this entire
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 3: way up, So I sped walk as fast as I
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 3: could up to my room.
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 4: Oh you opened the door there's second door.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I see into the building.
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 3: Is that insane? And then I just sat in my
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 3: apartment and heard them trying to get into their apartment
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 3: for like ten minutes.
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 4: By the way, you keep you're not even gendering this
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 4: person to hide their identity. And yet you said that
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 4: they live adjacent.
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 3: To you, close to me.
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 4: You said it's the one that's right. Yours is on
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 4: the right, theirs is on the left.
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, your effort to hide this person and protect them is.
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 3: My it's effort. It's not I'm not making an effort
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 3: to hide this person to protect them. I'm trying to hide.
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 3: I don't want that person to know that I am
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 3: a comedian, you know what. I don't want that person
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 3: to know that I'm like a podcaster.
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 4: Okay, hold on a second.
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 3: I'm hiding myself from my oh.
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, from the building by telling the true story of
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 4: something so absurd that it could only have been you
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 4: and her and they, and you said where you live.
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 3: On the bright side, I think the person probably doesn't
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 3: even remember it happening.
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 4: Okay, but she sees this, she's gonna know true. And
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 4: then what the cat's out of the bag. That you're
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 4: a podcaster.
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't want to. I just don't want to
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 3: seem like I'm like using the story as like I
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 3: don't know, what do you think?
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 4: I think it's totally fun. It's fine, yes, because you
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 4: haven't said her name even said it. The only risk
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 4: of this being something that you shouldn't have done would
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 4: be if you said something that would hurt her ability
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 4: to like do her job, yes, or would you know
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 4: what I mean, would embarrass her publicly if people could
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 4: figure out who this is. Yeah, you've done none of
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 4: those things true, and you walked into a situation that
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 4: wasn't your fault. This wasn't of your own making, do
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean? Yeah? Yeah, so you did
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 4: the right thing. And she said something unbelievable. Is funny, crazy,
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 4: it's very it's all credit to everybody. That's a great sandwich. There,
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 4: that's a great sandwich.
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 3: That was the last thing I expected to hear. I
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 3: thought she was gonna be like call nine one one.
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 3: She goes, yeah, who are you gonna call the Ghostbusters?
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 3: I'm like, dude. When she said that, I was like, what.
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 4: Did you start laughing?
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I would laugh.
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 3: I laughed And then I just opened the door and
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 3: I was like, you can, like here, it's open.
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and did she get up?
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 3: And she like crawled up from the ground and got up.
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 3: But I mean I offered my full support and help initially, Yeah,
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 3: and then once the Ghostbusters line happened, I was like,
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 3: you're fine, Yeah, of course.
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, of course. Uh that's someone you should smoke weed with.
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 4: I bet you she smokes. She's that funny, that'd be fun. Yeah.
• 1:27:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know she was. I think she was just
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 3: fucking hammered.
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 4: It's also good to be friends with the person that
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 4: lives directly next to you, because it means they're less
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 4: likely to knarck on you for what anything. I mean,
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 4: you got shipped to hide.
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 3: Anything to hide you're moving you anytime I'm at my apartment,
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 3: I'm playing video games.
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 4: Right, well whatever. People. Neighbors are the biggest issue in
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 4: New York. Right And if she were annoyed that you
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 4: were making, clearly she doesn't give a fuck, right, But yeah,
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 4: you know, it's just good. I think it's good to
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 4: get along with your neighbors. Yeah. Also, you know, if
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 4: you ever got locked out of your apartment or whatever.
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 3: I got locked out of my apartment this weekend.
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 4: You should get her number. Could do you share a
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 4: fire escape with her?
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 3: Nah? Yeah, bingo, that's a valuable car. But when I
• 1:28:28
  Speaker 3: get locked out of my apartment, I can let myself
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 3: into the building because I can just buzz myself in
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 3: with my phone and then I just knock on the
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 3: super's door and get the extra key.
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 4: He's not around because.
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 3: There's nine people living there. They're always around.
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 4: That's funny.
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 3: Someone new answers the door every time.
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 3: Sure, they answered the door and I'm like, hi, I
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 3: left my I left my keys in my apartment, and
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 3: they're like, do you live here? Like yep, three years,
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 3: three years, knocked on the door probably one hundred times.
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 3: Still don't remember me. That shit annoys me. But anyways,
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 3: that was my That was my fun story.
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 4: You know, we've told stories on this podcast before that
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 4: retroactively we've decided to cut, and I've thought a lot
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 4: about it. I told the story you remember about the
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 4: time that I was sexually harassed by a mayor of course, Yeah,
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 4: which we cut entirely. Yeah, because it was a real
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 4: story and I felt I had drawn too many clues
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 4: to connect to that person. Yeah, I kind of regret
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 4: protecting that person in hindsight.
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, well, if it's a mayor, that makes sense.
• 1:29:34
  Speaker 3: This is just someone that I don't even know what
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 3: they do for work. I know they could be a mayor. Well,
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 3: you're no chance could be that woman living in your
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 3: building I have. My building is great.
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 4: I'll tell you what she's not the mayor of New York.
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 4: I'll tell you what. The Mayor of New York lives
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 4: in Gracie Mansion up on the Upper east Side. True.
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 3: Well, very fun episode. I enjoyed that. I had a blast.
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 4: If you're listening to this, take your time.
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're listening, time to get to work. Brother,
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 3: your spot's getting taken by nobody, by nobody. You should
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 3: just rip his name off the fucking wall.
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 4: Where will I be? Oh, I've got Wes Nayak coming
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 4: up Levity Live. If you live up near that area
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 4: at all, I hope you'll come. It's a cavernous room
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 4: and feels incredibly empty with any fewer than two hundred people,
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 4: So come to that. I think is that the origin
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 4: of your dick'sporting goods joke is that the mall where
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 4: that happened.
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 3: No, I've never been. I've never performed there.
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 4: Really, Yeah, you entered through a dix or, as you
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 4: would say.
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 3: A dix a cos how about that very clever call back.
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 3: You're all about the callbacks these days, big callback.
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Uh so that's uh in a week or so
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 4: and then not actually two weeks, and then I'll be
• 1:31:04
  Speaker 4: in Kansas City and Dallas and Chicago. By the way,
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 4: I think the downtown shows into Chicago already sold out,
• 1:31:11
  Speaker 4: So come to Rosemont Zany's. That's the first weekend of June.
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 4: Tickets at Punch Up Dot Live slash Francis Ellis, what
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 4: do you got?
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 3: I got Edmonton next weekend, and then in first weekend
• 1:31:23
  Speaker 3: of May, I'm gonna be in Philly. The Philly tickets
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 3: are getting close to selling out, so those now awesome.
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 4: Thank you guys, we appreciate it, and we'll see you
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 4: on Thursday.
• 1:31:55
  Speaker 10: Still, I looked up to you game a round. I
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 10: was only falling one way. I was only falling one
• 1:32:18
  Speaker 10: bad day. Were drifted foot, So so then you need
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 10: summon no, I come along. I'm only phoning on I
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 10: was only phoning w I was on your phoning one
• 1:32:58
  Speaker 10: way I was on the phone is don't get task
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 10: IM