Latest / Loose Threads & Stitches: A Quilting Podcast / Episode 40: Are You a "Real" Quilter? Let's Talk About Quilter Identity

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Episode 40: Are You a "Real" Quilter? Let's Talk About Quilter Identity · Loose Threads & Stitches: A Quilting Podcast

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  Have you ever felt that deep sense of relief
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  when you finally had a word for something like,
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  “oh, that's what this is,
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  this feeling, this way of doing things”?
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  You had something to describe it.
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  It's a category, a name, and it feels like
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  exhaling and everything makes sense.
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  Like your shoulders drop a little bit, like you're not the only one.
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  And there's context.
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  Now there's language, and language can feel like safety.
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  But have you ever also wondered, when does a label help
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  us understand ourselves, and when does it quietly start to define us?
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  Hey friend, welcome back to Loose Starts in Stitches.
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  I'm Christen from ISeeStarsQuilting This is our cozy
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  corner of the week where creativity and real life meet.
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  So grab a project or just settle in.
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  This is episode six of The Enough Chapter.
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  This little series where we've been gently untangling the pressure to always be
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  more more productive, more capable, more figured out.
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  We've talked about moving targets.
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  We've talked about capacity, we've talked about the stories that we build.
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  And today we're stepping into something a little bit more nuanced.
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  And that is the role of labels and how they shape the way that we see ourselves.
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  So if you have missed any of those episodes,
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  I highly encourage you to go back and check those out.
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  There's some really good knowledge in there
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  and some really thought provoking things.
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  I, I honestly was,
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  not quite sure how this podcast series would be received in the creative world,
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  but I have had such good, positive feedback and I love that these,
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  these questions that I'm asking are really kind of thought provoking,
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  and they're encouraging a lot of you to look at things a little bit deeper.
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  It really makes my heart happy.
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  And, I'm so thankful that you're here today.
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  So if you're enjoying these conversations, it would mean so, so much to me
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  if you popped over to Apple Podcasts or Spotify
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  and you leave a five star review.
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  For me, it helps the show grow,
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  and I really do love hearing what is resonating with you.
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  So let's start here.
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  Language can be incredibly compassionate.
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  There's something powerful about being able to say, oh,
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  that's what this is called.
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  This has a name, but what that does is in your brain, it takes something
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  that feels messy or confusing or isolating, and it gives it shape.
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  It gives it context, and it tells you this is not random
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  and this isn't just you.
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  And that really matters because confusion can often create shame.
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  Okay. It's kind of the unknown.
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  I'm not sure what this is.
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  I don't know if this is right or not right, but clarity can soften it.
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  Labels can help us feel less alone,
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  less overwhelmed, less like we're doing something wrong.
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  And that kind of relief, that's that's real, that's valid, and that's important.
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  But here's where it gets a little bit more layered
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  because labels don't just describe right.
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  They also explain.
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  And our brains, they love explanations.
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  Okay.
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  We want to understand.
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  We want to feel things.
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  We want to understand why we feel the way that we feel.
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  We, why we struggle, where we struggle, why things feel hard.
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  And labels often become part of that explanation.
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  But explanations, as we know, are really, really powerful, right?
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  Not just because they bring clarity, but because they start to shape our identity.
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  And there's a difference, a really,
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  really important difference that I want you to know here.
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  So between saying this is something that I experience
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  and saying, this is who I am,
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  one leaves some room in there,
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  the other one can quietly close it off and just it is what it is, right?
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  When leaves a little bit of room
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  for change, for opportunity, for growth, one just quietly closes it.
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  So that's the difference between saying
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  this is something that I'm experiencing and saying, this is who I am.
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  Okay, so let's think about that for a second.
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  If you say to yourself, I'm
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  struggling with focus right now versus
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  I am somebody who can't focus,
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  those feel very differently in your body when you speak them.
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  One of them, the first one, feels very temporary.
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  It feels like it's contextual, right?
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  It's like this is something that you can move through.
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  The second one feels fixed, it feels decided.
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  And we often teach kids this this same to, you know what
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  their words have real power behind them.
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  They have meanings.
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  So be careful what you speak right.
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  once it becomes fixed, it feels like a conclusion, right?
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  That's that's it. There's no room for change.
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  And our brains tend to live inside the sentences that we repeat.
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  So if a sentence feels permanent,
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  our behavior often follows, not because it's true forever,
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  because we we all know that deep down, people change.
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  They grow, they they shift who they are.
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  And little patterns over time.
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  And that's just the way that it is.
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  But because identity
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  and what you believe to be your identity is a very powerful thing.
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  So this is where labels can sometimes become a ceiling.
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  Not intentionally, not maliciously, but very subtly.
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  Okay.
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  Because when something becomes
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  part of your identity, it can start to feel like a boundary.
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  Kind of just like, well, this is just how I am.
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  And again, sometimes that brings comfort and sometimes that removes pressure,
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  but sometimes it also removes possibility.
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  And I think that this is where we need to bring in the gentle curiosity,
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  not judgment, not rejection,
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  just simple awareness.
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  Okay.
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  And I want to be really clear here,
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  there is nothing wrong with language that brings you clarity.
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  There's nothing wrong with seeking help.
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  There is nothing wrong with naming patterns in your life.
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  I completely support all of those, and I think that they're all
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  very, very, healthy They can be incredibly healing.
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  But there's a soft question that we can ask and
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  I want to bring this up to you today.
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  And that is, is this word helping me understand myself,
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  or is it quietly limiting what I believe is possible?
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  Is it opening a door or is it closing one?
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  And sometimes it might be doing both, right?
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  There is no like right or wrong, black or white here.
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  I'm just kind of bringing up these ideas and maybe something will
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  you'll feel something kind of hit home. Right.
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  And that's usually your inner self just kind of poking back at you, going,
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  hey, we need to do a little bit more thinking on this.
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  Right.
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  And, I want to tie this back into, quilting because,
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  you know, we are creatives and most of us are quilters
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  or want to be quilters somewhere in that that arena. Right?
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  Because patterns are a really good metaphor for this.
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  A pattern, like a quilting pattern or a sewing pattern of any sort.
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  It gives you structure, it gives you direction, it helps you start,
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  but you're never locked into it.
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  You can resize it, you can change out the fabrics.
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  You can combine it with something else.
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  Now you can even completely like take parts of it
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  and run with that and ignore the rest of it.
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  Okay, the pattern serves you, not the other way around.
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  And I should know because I am so, so guilty
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  of taking a pattern and being like, this is great.
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  I think the designer is fabulous, I love this,
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  but I am going to take this
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  and I'm going to completely change it.
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  You know, like I use it as a starting off point.
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  I don't usually do everything that way, and that's just
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  that's just like the creative person in me.
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  Like I like to to have that base and to to grow from it.
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  Now, I do sometimes follow patterns.
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  I don't want to say that like I'm a rule breaker all the time, but,
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  but I do like to put my own twist on things, right?
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  And I think that labels can work the same way.
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  They can guide you, they can support you, they can offer clarity.
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  But they were never meant to hold your entire future.
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  If this conversation is resonating with you right now, this mix of creativity
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  and real life growth,
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  and you're nodding up and down with me as I'm talking to you today,
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  I want you to know that you would feel so at home
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  inside the Stitch Sister inner circle.
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  It's a space where we have these deeper conversations like this friend
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  to friend, alongside quilting and inspiration and fabric galore.
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  Okay, encouragement and women who truly get it.
• 9:40
  Okay, your seat is always there waiting for you my friend.
• 9:44
  I will save you a spot in this group.
• 9:46
  If you're interested,
• 9:47
  check out the show notes below this podcast for more information.
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  So maybe the goal isn't to reject labels.
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  Okay, let's think this through for a minute.
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  Okay, let's let's let this language stay flexible here.
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  Maybe the goal is to hold labels a little bit more loosely,
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  to let them describe without letting them define,
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  to let them support, without letting them confine.
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  Okay, to say this helps me understand where I am
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  without assuming this is where I will always be.
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  Because you're allowed to change, you're allowed to grow,
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  and you are allowed to surprise yourself.
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  so here's something else gently that I want you to sit with today.
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  Is there a word or a label that has brought you relief?
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  And also, is there a place where it might
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  be quietly shaping your limits?
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  Not in like a heavy way, just in an honest way.
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  So, you know, think about that, and then I want you
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  to also remember you're allowed to understand yourself.
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  You are allowed to name your patterns.
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  You're allowed to use language that brings you peace,
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  but you are not required to conform yourself to only those labels.
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  You are not required to stay the same.
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  You are not required to live inside one definition forever, okay?
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  And you are not required to shrink yourself to fit a word,
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  even if that word once was of great help to you.
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  Okay, you can carry clarity and still leave room for expansion.
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  You can honor where you are right now
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  and still believe in where you're going.
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  You are not a fixed sentence.
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  You're a story that is still being written.
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  And I think that you have a beautiful, beautiful story to tell inside you today.
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  Thank
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  you for being with me here today and for hanging out.
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  If this episode has made you feel seen,
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  do me a favor and share it with a friend or leave a review.
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  I would love to hear from you.
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  And if you have some words
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  to share with me today, things that are helping you grow,
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  or possibly words that are holding you back and you want to let go of them,
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  leave me some comments down below because I would love to respond
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  back to you and just kind of keep this conversation going a little bit longer.
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  But, I appreciate you listening to this show today.
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  Thank you so much for tuning in.
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  My name is Christen with ISeeStarsQuilting,
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  and you have been listening to the Loose Threads and Stitches Podcast.
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  I hope that you have a wonderful rest of your week, and I'll meet you back here
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  next week.
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  You.