Latest / All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting / 106. Looking to reinvent yourself as a working mom?!

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106. Looking to reinvent yourself as a working mom?! · All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting

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  This episode is sponsored by all Figured out events, real life
• 0:04
  and online gatherings for working parents who just want to
• 0:07
  slow down, reset and figure out what's next.
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  So think of this as the podcast, but in person.
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  We are going to learn something together, we are going to have
• 0:18
  some fun and laugh, and it's going to be a chance to connect
• 0:21
  and create community with other parents.
• 0:23
  If you're craving more freedom, flexibility, and fulfillment in
• 0:26
  your work and life, you'll want to be the next one.
• 0:29
  So visit Andrea Bar com slash events to see what's coming up
• 0:33
  or join the wait list for future experiences.
• 0:35
  That's Andrea barr.com/events. I cannot wait to see you there.
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  You're listening to the All Figured Out podcast.
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  I'm your host, Andrea Barr. I'm a career coach for parents,
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  mom of two, and a self-proclaimed expert at
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  winging it. After 10 years in the corporate
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  world, two major career pivots, and navigating life with kids,
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  I've learned one thing. No parent.
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  Has it all figured? Out and that's OK Here, we're
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  all about growing personally and professionally while keeping
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  family time sacred you'll get practical tips, career
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  strategies, and musings on life, plus guest experts to help us
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  fill in the. Gaps.
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  So grab a coffee. Or hide in your car for some
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  knee time. We're about to figure out this
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  work life and parenting. Stuff out together.
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  Welcome back to the All Figured Out podcast.
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  My name is Andre Gabbar. I am your host.
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  Thank you so much for being back with me this week.
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  You're in for a treat today. I don't do this very often, but
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  I think I might do this a little bit more.
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  But let me know. Let me know what you think
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  today. You just have me on the mic.
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  We don't have a guest. It's just me, no experts, just
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  my thoughts. And I and I am so excited to
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  dive into Q4, the fourth quarter.
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  It's time to deliver. It is the home stretch.
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  It is cozy, spooky season, whatever it is that you're
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  celebrating, whatever it is you think about the fourth quarter
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  of the year we have entered it. The time of this recording, it
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  is early October 2025. And I just cannot believe that
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  we're here. That's a very boring, honestly,
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  it's a really boring thing to say.
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  Like, oh, Can you believe it's getting darker?
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  Oh, Can you believe it's October?
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  But it is kind of crazy. I feel like it should still be
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  September or should still be September.
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  No, it should still be like June, But I, yeah, I'm excited
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  to dive into just this like funny time of year where we're
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  reflecting on what's come so far in the year.
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  What have we accomplished? We don't really have new Year
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  energy. We're kind of slumping from the
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  September New Year vibes. Like back to school.
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  People are like, OK, let's do this.
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  We're going to make this the best school year yet.
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  And then October hits and I don't know about you, but I kind
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  of feel like I'm already like, maybe we just get a bit cozy.
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  Maybe we just like decorate for Halloween.
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  Should I be sleeping in more? And yes to all those things for
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  sure. And at the same time, I don't
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  want to be kicking myself in January saying, OK, I had a
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  really nice stretch of time where there's not summer breaks,
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  there's no March break, no spring break.
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  Like you've got this a nice little stretch.
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  I feel like this happens September to December, No,
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  October to November, 2 months because September's back to
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  school, December's holidays and then you've got like January to
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  March, you've got a bit of a runway and then what April, May.
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  So there's I feel like the, the year works in like these little
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  spurts. Somebody let me know.
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  Do you feel this way? If you're listening and you're
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  like, I totally get what you mean by there's these like
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  little intense spurts of time. Send me a message.
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  I was in a therapy session this morning actually with my
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  therapist and we were talking and kind of debriefing from this
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  beautiful weekend that I just had with my mastermind.
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  So I'm in a business group. If you follow me on Instagram at
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  Andrea, I'll figure it out. Andrea.
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  Oh my gosh, off Monday at all figured out Andrea is where you
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  can find me on Instagram. So if you follow me there, you
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  might have seen that I was at my business retreat mastermind this
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  weekend. So Friday all day, Saturday all
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  day. It was in my city in Vancouver,
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  So I actually got to go home and sleep in my own bed, miss
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  bedtimes. It was actually the perfect
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  setup. I kid, I love my babies.
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  I do. I just, I don't know, I don't
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  love bedtime. I'm going to be honest.
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  Anyways, I had my business retreat mastermind and so many
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  golden Nuggets came through like talk about and we're gonna talk
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  about this in this episode today, but talk about like
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  pausing for a minute to think about one thing.
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  It was incredible. Like I wasn't meal planning, I
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  wasn't online shopping. I wasn't thinking about
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  Halloween costumes. I wasn't thinking about the
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  groceries. I was only thinking about my
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  business and what I can say. I'm like just diving into the
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  episode. We will, we will get to a
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  structured format. But what I can say is that, man,
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  like taking a minute to just focus on one thing, it gives you
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  more time elsewhere. And what I mean by that is by
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  not constantly dribbling in thoughts about what I'm doing
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  for work and where the business is going and what I'm working on
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  and what collaboration I want to do next and all those things
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  without having that dribble in my personal life.
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  When I'm with my kids, it, it honestly frees up the mind so
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  that I can just be with my kids and that when I am doing the
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  grocery planning, I'm not getting distracted by being
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  like, oh, right, Like what am I doing in my business?
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  Like it was this concentrated time to just focus on that one
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  thing and what a gift that was. And we'll talk about this as
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  well today is community, like doing that in community.
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  So wow, I have no idea where I was going with that, but Oh yes,
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  my therapist. Here we go, we're back.
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  It's been a while since I've done a solo episode.
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  So I'm I'm in the session with my therapist this morning and we
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  were just debriefing and we're debriefing all the things that
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  came to mind. And I was talking to her and she
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  played back for me something that she's, these were her
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  words. I'd never used these words to
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  her before, but she hit the nail on the head.
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  And this is something I've known about myself forever.
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  But she was talking about how it sounds like you really like to
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  work in sprints, like you really like to go fast and then retreat
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  and reset. And I was like, hit the nail on
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  the head. So if you're listening this and
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  you're like, yes, I feel seen. Or actually that's not me.
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  It's something to just be aware of.
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  For me, I think of this October period, October, November, a
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  little bit into December is like for a 10 week say of like, let's
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  do this. I find that really energizing
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  and I'm like, I can put everything into this period with
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  boundaries to still family, my family and like parent my kids
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  and all that. But it's nice because it's like,
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  OK, the rest will come. I'm not gonna burn out.
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  I know I've got all the tips, tricks, tools for that.
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  I ain't getting there, but I can push and like put a bit of gas
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  on the pedal and that feels really, really good.
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  And then I know I can retreat and I can take a beat.
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  And I've worked hard. And for me as an entrepreneur,
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  it's, you know, financially that's kind of how things work
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  too. Because when I take time off,
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  then that's that. But then I can retreat and I can
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  relax and I can kind of do my wintry cozy vibe and then I can
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  come back and go into another cycle.
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  And so it was a really cool session with my therapist today
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  to just talk about that. And she was kind of talking
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  about it like you need, it's like the yin and the Yang.
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  So Yang in say, if you're talking about yoga, Yang Yang.
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  Yang is like fire. It's intensity, it's drive, it's
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  masculine. And then the yin is soft, it is
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  slow, it is retreating. It doesn't mean it's actually
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  any easier or any harder. Sometimes it can be harder to be
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  slow. Like if you've ever been in like
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  a stretch, like you're stretching, stretching your
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  hamstrings out and you're like, Oh my gosh, I would rather be
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  doing 20 sit ups right now than like stretching my hands.
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  Hamstrings. That's what they get as well.
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  Sometimes it can be really hard. And so that was a really cool
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  reflection. So today in the solo episode, I
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  made a few notes. I we're gonna talk talk about if
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  I wanted to really shake things up in 2026.
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  And I have shaken things up in my life so many times in this
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  short 35 years. I have shaken things up a lot if
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  I wanted to, you know, change in a big way, rhythms, routines,
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  habits, careers like the way our family structure kinda works and
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  how we parent and everything like that.
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  If I wanted to do that in early 2026, here here's some lessons
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  that I've learned along the way, both from lived experience and
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  life and also as a career coach for parents.
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  So I have talked to hundreds and worked with hundreds of parents
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  who are going through all kinds of transitions because when
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  you're a parent, your kids are always changing.
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  And these are parents who are also making career moves.
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  They're coming and going from the workforce.
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  They're changing jobs, they're fully changing careers.
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  They're stay at home moms going back into the corporate.
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  They're going corporate to stay at home.
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  I'm like all of it, dads, everything, you name it, I've
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  worked with it. And so from all of that lived
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  experience, from all of that professional experience, this is
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  what I would do if I wanted to really shake things up in 2026.
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  Now before we begin, I would like to acknowledge our sponsor
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  for the episode and that is Moira, that is myself, Andrea
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  Barr and that is the all figured out events.
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  So I have been running events for a few years now in a very
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  small capacity, kind of just do them off the side of my desk.
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  We do them when it, you know, when it the mood strikes me.
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  But this is going to be quite a focus over the next at least 18
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  months and hopefully beyond. So you are going to see more
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  events coming to you. I'll be talking about them here
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  on the podcast, both online and in person if you'd like to make
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  the trip out to Vancouver. And the idea around these all
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  figured out events is basically just taking the magic of what we
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  do here on the podcast and bringing it to real life.
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  And if you've ever been to 1, you know that it's equal parts
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  fun. It is a place to connect with
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  other parents, predominantly moms, and it's a place to learn
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  something. So the idea around this, just
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  like the podcast, is I have such a hunger and a thirst to learn
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  and to grow and to be around people and to have fun.
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  And I usually want to do those types of things for myself.
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  You know, we love to do lots of like pumpkin patch things and we
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  just went to the pumpkin patch on the weekend.
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  But sometimes you want to get out at six PM, 7:00 PM on a week
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  night and just do something that you might have actually done
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  when you weren't a parent and set up in an environment where
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  you can connect with other parents, where you can learn
• 11:57
  some things. We've done flower arranging.
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  We have learned about skin care. We are going to be going to the
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  fresh Prep test kitchen in a couple of weeks time.
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  There is a giveaway going on right now for that and just all
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  sorts of stuff. These are kind of almost like
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  outlandish ideas and like, I really want to learn about this
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  thing like flower ranging. Let's make this an event from
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  bums. And so that is what we are
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  doing. And it's something I, like I've
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  said, I've been doing for a while.
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  But in speaking with Emily Shimwell on the podcast a couple
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  weeks ago, it reminded me that I haven't really talked about the
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  events that I host. And so here I am sponsoring my
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  own podcast. So I'm throwing that out there
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  before we get into your 2026 tips and tricks for if you want
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  to shake things up next year. OK, number one, you're going to
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  go back to episode 91 and you're going to listen to an episode
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  that I did on kind of realigning yourself.
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  So I did a whole episode on the eight part check in that I used
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  to help my clients realign their life, if you will.
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  It sounds crazy, it sounds fancy.
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  It's actually really easy. So go back to episode 91, listen
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  to that episode. But in, in, in a nutshell here,
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  what it basically is, is it's going through the 8 areas that
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  have identified as the most potent, time consuming, um,
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  mentally consuming pieces of your life that all play into one
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  another. And so some people will think of
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  it as like the wheel of life. You can think of it like, you
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  know, except for some people, it's work life and parenting.
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  And those might be their three areas.
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  But I've actually identified 8 areas that are the most, like I
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  said, potent in your life. And what you will do is you're
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  going to listen to that episode. It's another solo episode.
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  And you can use this tool to just write down in your
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  notebook, on a piece of paper in the Notes app, on your phone,
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  right out each of those different areas.
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  So there's things to do with community, things to do with
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  yourself, your relationship, your parenting and that sort of
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  thing. And you're going to go through
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  and just do a check in with yourself.
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  Go from an on a scale of 1 to 10, how is that area feeling
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  right now? And why you'll do this is
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  because if you're gonna go and be like, I wanna go shake things
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  up or like the tick Tocker said, like I wanna be unrecognizable
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  before doing that, before putting any sort of time, money,
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  effort, what have you into shaking something up.
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  It's you're gonna hear me say this a lot on this podcast, like
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  you probably already have. You have to have clarity and
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  recognition on what it is that you should be spending your
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  time, money, energy to shake up. So it's all well and good to be
• 14:45
  like, OK, you know what we really need, we need to hire a
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  professional organizer that is going to change our lives.
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  We're going to spend, you know, some slush fund that we've got
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  or a little bit of savings that we've got right now.
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  And we're going to hire a professional organizer.
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  So you go through that whole process, which I can imagine.
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  I've never done it. I would love to do it, but I've
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  never done that. But I can imagine, first of all,
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  it takes a bit of time, probably a lot of time to be honest, and
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  it probably takes a good investment of money.
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  And so if you go through that and you spend that time and you
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  spend that money, but what you realize by the end of the year,
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  the start of 2026, you realize that my, my marriage or my
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  relationship is suffering right now in a pretty big way.
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  And you've just spent all that time, all that energy, all that
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  money on organizing your house when your marriage is the thing
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  that is needing the most attention, like, you know,
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  connect those two. Like how do how would you really
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  feel in that moment when you realize your house is great, It
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  looks organized, it's awesome, but crap like our marriage is
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  crumbling. That would be a really hard pill
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  to swallow. And a lot of people I think are
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  really easy. Really easy example to use as
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  well would be health. I think a lot of us who have
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  ever gone through health scares, challenges, whether it's with
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  yourself, with a family member or friend, you know that when
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  you're in that situation or that loved 1 is in that situation,
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  you're like, nothing else matters.
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  Like every other minute annoyance I had, the fact that I
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  didn't have matching baskets in my closet or that the toys
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  didn't have a proper place to be put away.
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  Like none of that stuff matters when you feel like your health
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  is or the health of someone you love is, is not good.
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  And so this is, I mean, if there's going to be one thing
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  you're taking away and if you turn this off now, I would be a
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  little bit sad, but this is the number one thing to take away is
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  you've got to 1st figure out like a quick audit.
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  This sounds like it's a big process.
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  It's not. And even if you don't listen to
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  episode 91, which I definitely think you should, then just
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  write down on a list like right out the areas of your life where
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  you spend the most time thinking that that you spend the most
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  time thinking about. The areas of your life where you
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  spend the most time actually doing something or spending
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  money on or spending time in and write out those areas and then
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  just give them a rating. This could be two minutes, but I
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  promise you, if you do this first, then you're going to go
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  into the rest of this exercise and the rest of this, you know,
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  idea thought provoking conversation we're having here,
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  me and your and your air pods and you're going to think, OK,
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  now I really have an understanding of where I should
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  be mentally framing myself. So instead of being like, I'm
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  going to blow up my whole my whole life.
• 17:47
  We know that that doesn't work. We know that humans actually
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  aren't great multitaskers. I do think women are better
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  taskers in general, but human? The human brain really cannot
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  multitask. So if you were to pick one thing
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  and another layer to this, pick the one thing that you actually
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  know a is the most important. So say if it is your marriage,
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  your marriage is is the foundation of your family.
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  So if that's the case and that things are going rocky, then
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  then focus there because the ripple effect that your marriage
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  has on other areas of your life is huge.
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  I'm sure you're happiness, perhaps your health, the way
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  that your kids are being raised, like all these things can really
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  be impacted by that. So think about that too.
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  So picture picked that one thing where you're like, hey, this is
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  going to really have a ripple effect and get really clear on
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  what the area is, what that piece like that intention is
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  that you have for the rest of the year.
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  OK #2 let's get into the nitty gritty.
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  So you kind of figured out what it is that you want to focus on.
• 18:49
  Reduce, reduce, reduce by 20%, reduce by 20%.
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  So #1 like if we're talking about decluttering and if and if
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  that is the area of focus, or if you're feeling like you're
• 19:05
  feeling mentally really exhausted and tired and you
• 19:09
  don't really have a safe spot, maybe that's an idea that
• 19:12
  decluttering could be something that could be really be helpful
• 19:15
  for you. Do you need to declutter by 80%?
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  No. But could 20% be helpful?
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  Yeah, maybe. And does 20% feel helpful,
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  Doable. Yeah, probably.
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  So think about that. What could you reduce and
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  declutter by 20%, cut back on the number of plans?
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  Could you reduce if you do have a really full calendar and maybe
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  you don't, but if you have a full calendar or your kids have
• 19:41
  a lot going on, is there a way that you can reduce that by 20%?
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  Or if the activities can't be reduced by 20% because you're
• 19:49
  already signed up, is there a way you could reduce the amount
• 19:52
  of driving by 20%? Is there a carpool you could
• 19:55
  pick up? Even if your kids, you know, are
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  just meeting the other people in their activity and you don't
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  have, you know, friends who are all already in that activity,
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  could you meet and just say hey to a mom that you see that might
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  be your dad that might be driving?
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  Recognize them from school or your neighborhood and just
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  strike up a conversation and say, hey, is that something we
• 20:15
  could chat about? Is a carpool something that you
• 20:16
  guys might be interested in? Chances are, yes.
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  Chances are they too do not want to drive along.
• 20:23
  Simplify dinner prep. Is there a way that you could
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  simplify things like preparing your dinner by about 20%?
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  I use fresh prep for instance, I have an affiliate code.
• 20:33
  I will drop it in the show notes here.
• 20:35
  Fresh prep has changed the game for us.
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  I do think that it's had a ripple effect on.
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  I'm the person that does the meal planning and the Food,
• 20:43
  First of all, and it's definitely had an impact on ah,
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  just relieving the amount of groceries we have to buy,
• 20:51
  eliminating the food waste at the end of the week that we're
• 20:54
  then having to throw out. And I feel so incredibly guilty
• 20:57
  about it reduces the decision fatigue because you choose your
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  meals and then that's it. That's going to be the meal that
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  you have that week, like one of the two meals that we choose for
• 21:09
  fresh prep. And it reduces the amount of
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  cooking by probably at least 50% because things are chopped and
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  everything. It's just, that is an example
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  for our family that it reduces probably by more than it's
• 21:22
  probably more than 20% of a reduction in mental fatigue and
• 21:25
  mental load for me. But it helps so much cause you
• 21:30
  make grocery shopping easier. Could you make supply runs
• 21:34
  easier? Could you automate any of that
• 21:36
  stuff? And again, we're not talking
• 21:38
  about like eliminating anything. We're talking about just making
• 21:41
  it 20% easier. Do you have that neighbor down
• 21:45
  the street who's like, oh, let me know if you ever need
• 21:47
  anything from Costco. I work, you know, across from
• 21:49
  it. I've got a couple of those
• 21:50
  neighbors and I never take them up on it.
• 21:54
  So actually, once I took up, I took a neighbor up on it once,
• 21:57
  but I wanted the Costco chicken Nuggets.
• 22:01
  But could you actually start to take up people's offers to help
• 22:07
  you? That's a big one.
• 22:09
  That's a really big one. And so could you make your life
• 22:13
  20% easier by trying some of those things out?
• 22:19
  OK #3 if you are looking to transform your life in 2026,
• 22:25
  really shake things up. I would implore you to find
• 22:29
  community everywhere. I this is a funny one for me.
• 22:37
  I've always had, this is something I was also talking to
• 22:40
  my therapist about. I've always had different
• 22:42
  pockets of friends. I've always had a really mixed
• 22:46
  bag of interests. So on one hand, I played
• 22:50
  basketball and I was really into basketball when I was in high
• 22:53
  school. On the other hand, I was really
• 22:56
  into musical theatre. So yes, we're my basketball
• 22:59
  friends and my theatre friends totally different.
• 23:02
  Those are different communities, yes.
• 23:03
  And I actually think that just made for a more exciting, fun
• 23:08
  high school experience for me. And the same goes for these
• 23:14
  days. Like I actually find it really
• 23:16
  fun to have community in places that are different.
• 23:20
  So I've got friends who I've known since before kids that I
• 23:24
  still really value and appreciate those friendships.
• 23:27
  And now we, you know, some of them do have kids as well.
• 23:29
  And it's fun to get our kids together.
• 23:31
  But the core and the foundation of our friendship is before
• 23:34
  having kids, that we've made a lot of friends, especially in
• 23:37
  our neighborhood who have kids. We've kind of made friendships
• 23:40
  because of our kids or, you know, we're at the playground.
• 23:43
  And that's been incredible. And that's been so much fun.
• 23:45
  And then I am in a mastermind like I was saying, and I was
• 23:50
  probably the youngest person in the mastermind by at least 10,
• 23:55
  probably 10 plus years. And that was amazing.
• 23:59
  Like just getting to hear from women who were like ahead of me
• 24:04
  in life, who have children who are older than my kids, who have
• 24:07
  more lived life experience like that was that was such a gift.
• 24:12
  And I even I was thinking about this before and I was, I thought
• 24:16
  about this point and I was like the nail salon, like I go and
• 24:21
  get my nails on once a month and I walk in and they say, hey,
• 24:25
  Andrea, nice to see you. And I think that is, that's
• 24:29
  community too. So I've talked about this
• 24:31
  definitely a lot of the podcast where we've talked about that
• 24:34
  notion of like finding your community or finding your tribe.
• 24:37
  And, and a lot of people, there's a lot of discussion
• 24:39
  about this right now, especially on social media or on other
• 24:41
  podcasts. I'm hearing where people are,
• 24:43
  like, where's, where's my tribe? Where's my, where are my people?
• 24:46
  Where's this, this group, this proverbial tribe?
• 24:49
  Where is this group of people? And to me, it doesn't have to be
• 24:54
  a group, but it can just be a collection of people that you
• 25:00
  enjoy seeing and spending time with, or maybe just knowing
• 25:04
  their name, like at the nail salon.
• 25:06
  Can't tell you, I know a lot about these people, but there's
• 25:09
  this sense of familiarity. And to me, that's what community
• 25:12
  is. And so finding community is such
• 25:16
  a cool way to shake things up. And I relate it back to this
• 25:19
  episode because say you want to explore anything new, like you
• 25:24
  want to create some kind of change.
• 25:26
  Chances are, in order to create that change, there's a new sense
• 25:32
  of being, there's a learning, there's a a way of being that
• 25:36
  you want to step into. There's something different that
• 25:40
  you're looking for. And so in order to make change,
• 25:44
  you have to create change. And so in order to do that, it a
• 25:48
  lot of times does require you to get out of your comfort zone a
• 25:52
  tiny bit and go to that event that you might not have
• 25:55
  otherwise gone to or hire that coach that you've been following
• 25:59
  on Instagram or listening to her podcast.
• 26:02
  And you're like, ah, it's been like 2 years and I really want
• 26:05
  to make this career change or I really want help with like life
• 26:09
  systems and rhythms and figuring, you know how all this
• 26:12
  like work life balance shit goes.
• 26:15
  As a parent, step out of your comfort zone and just have a
• 26:19
  discussion or just go to that event or just strike up a
• 26:23
  conversation with that other parent that you know is doing
• 26:26
  something pretty cool like consulting, left their corporate
• 26:29
  job and is doing something that's a little bit more
• 26:31
  flexible on their own schedule. Go ask that person for coffee
• 26:35
  and and find community in that way as well because and if we
• 26:40
  didn't learn stories from one another about how other people
• 26:44
  are doing it, like I don't think the human race would have
• 26:47
  evolved. And so it really requires you to
• 26:49
  just get out of your bubble, get out of your current situation,
• 26:55
  and just step out for a minute just to see who else is out
• 26:59
  there and who can help you. OK #4 is quieting the mind now.
• 27:08
  I can hear. I can see the eye rolls.
• 27:11
  Like she's going to talk about meditation.
• 27:14
  Every blog, every Instagram post, everything you ever see is
• 27:19
  always like, your life will change if you start to meditate.
• 27:21
  And I am not, I'm not harping on that because I know my audience
• 27:26
  and I know that you are busy. I know you're overwhelmed.
• 27:30
  I know there's a lot on your plate.
• 27:31
  And if you're listening to this episode and you've come this far
• 27:34
  or you're you're interested in this topic of a bit of
• 27:37
  reinvention, stepping into a new version of yourself for the new
• 27:39
  year, then you might be like, I just wanna go.
• 27:44
  I don't wanna sit and be quiet, so let me tell you what I mean
• 27:47
  by this. Quieting the mind is not sitting
• 27:52
  like I'm sitting here if you're watching me on YouTube, cross
• 27:55
  legged, eyes closed. OK, quieting the mind is and can
• 28:00
  be just being OK to be alone with your thoughts for a minute.
• 28:05
  I am also raising my hand to say that I, my husband's like you,
• 28:11
  are listening to a podcast all the time, and I am.
• 28:16
  I am, I would say I'm a little bit obsessed and I would say
• 28:20
  that it's also what I do as part of my living or as part of my
• 28:26
  business. And so it's OK, I allow myself
• 28:28
  to be a little bit obsessed. However, I do have to take
• 28:31
  myself out of that like busy brain, always consuming, always
• 28:36
  gathering information and just like step out of it for a second
• 28:38
  and say, OK, just you need a second.
• 28:43
  And So what I've been doing for the past probably year or so is
• 28:47
  doing whatever. I just feel like it's been a big
• 28:50
  day of coaching a a big day of talking, thinking, overwhelm,
• 28:56
  whatever anxiety is. I just don't listen to anything
• 29:01
  when I'm driving. So most of the time I'm
• 29:04
  listening to a podcast or an audio book or listening to music
• 29:08
  sometimes and that can be great. But if you're going from like
• 29:12
  really high vibration fun energy work or not so great, whatever
• 29:17
  it is, wherever you're at, and then you go into the car and
• 29:20
  you're being stimulated more like it can be a lot.
• 29:22
  And there's really, we're not giving ourselves a lot of time
• 29:25
  to just like be and think and Mull things over.
• 29:31
  I will say that there's been times in my life where, and I've
• 29:35
  talked about this for sure on the podcast where I've needed to
• 29:38
  just like numb out, you know, you'll hear people talk about
• 29:41
  that just meaning like, I just need to be taken out of my
• 29:44
  reality for a moment. When my husband was going
• 29:47
  through his health stuff, I was pregnant like I really needed
• 29:50
  and just, I just needed a minute.
• 29:53
  And so if you're in that phase and you're going through like,
• 29:57
  you know, small, large traumas of any kind or just a hard time,
• 30:01
  yes, like listen to yourself. Don't listen to this girl in a
• 30:04
  podcast. Like just do what you need to do
• 30:06
  in this moment. And this is funny that I'm
• 30:09
  you're probably listening to this podcast while you are
• 30:11
  listening to this podcast and I'm telling you not to listen to
• 30:15
  something, but this is for after your finishes episode.
• 30:18
  And it's sometimes we just need to to quiet like quiet the mind,
• 30:23
  quiet the body and do that in whatever way feels best for you.
• 30:27
  It could be a quiet walk. It could be a quiet drive.
• 30:30
  It could be throwing your legs up the wall listening to some
• 30:34
  like non lyric music. It could be writing.
• 30:37
  Writing is a really good way to quiet the mind.
• 30:40
  Even though you're engaged in like typing or actually your
• 30:42
  handwriting or something, it's a way to like just let your brain
• 30:47
  do the talking without like your, I don't know if that makes
• 30:50
  sense, but like you're just, you're free flowing.
• 30:53
  It's if you ever just like free flow written anything before you
• 30:57
  know what I'm talking about, like you just let your hands go
• 31:00
  and you don't even really know what's coming out.
• 31:02
  That is totally a way of quieting the mind as well.
• 31:05
  So I say that for this particular episode, because once
• 31:10
  you get really clear on say, what kind of changes or what
• 31:13
  intentions you have around the areas that you're really looking
• 31:16
  to make some shifts or changes or shake up, then it is really
• 31:21
  important to sure go after the communities.
• 31:24
  Like I said, hire the coach that you need.
• 31:28
  Go back to that therapist that you loved.
• 31:30
  Go chat with that friends and family members.
• 31:33
  Go learn the thing that you're really keen to learn.
• 31:35
  But at the same time as you're doing all of that working in
• 31:39
  that practice of being quiet and just listening to yourself, we
• 31:44
  were in the mastermind this past weekend.
• 31:46
  We were all talking about, I forgot what it was we were just
• 31:49
  talking about, like when we're brainstorming, when we feel most
• 31:51
  creative. And there was a woman, Tasnim
• 31:53
  and I, who both shared this, this feeling like when we're in
• 31:57
  or around or submerged in water or in the shower, it's like this
• 32:03
  flood of information. And that is 100% how it happens
• 32:09
  for me. If I need to solve a problem, if
• 32:13
  I need to think something through, if I'm feeling a bit
• 32:15
  foggy or whatever, I don't always want to do it if I'm in
• 32:20
  that mode. But if I do head into the
• 32:23
  shower, make it happen. Of course not get the hair wet
• 32:25
  because that's just a whole other ball game, but it really
• 32:29
  does create this like level of clarity for me and I walk in
• 32:35
  without an intention or maybe I'm going in kind of with like,
• 32:37
  OK, here we go. This is the thing I need to
• 32:39
  solve. But there really is something
• 32:42
  about quieting that mind to allow yourself to whether you
• 32:47
  believe in your intuition or not.
• 32:49
  I really hope if you're listening to this podcast that
• 32:51
  you that you do that you do understand how powerful your
• 32:55
  intuition is. Then, you know, just just pause.
• 32:58
  Just pause and like, let your own thoughts think and let your
• 33:02
  own thoughts come through in whatever way that happens for
• 33:06
  you, OK? And #5 this is the final one.
• 33:11
  You've done all these things. You've quieted.
• 33:14
  You've got community. You're putting yourselves in the
• 33:17
  situation where you really are clear about what it is that you
• 33:21
  want to make changes on #5 is investing in the right people at
• 33:27
  the right time. And what I mean by this one is
• 33:32
  investing your time that you have, which is probably a
• 33:35
  limited resource if you're a parent listening, investing in
• 33:41
  people and relationships in a way that is nourishing for you.
• 33:48
  So, you know, not maybe spending like an hour a week with the
• 33:54
  person that really drains you. But if that is a person, say
• 33:57
  it's a family member or say it's a person that who's relationship
• 34:01
  you do value, but it is a bit of a draining situation for you.
• 34:04
  Like does it have to be a weekly visit?
• 34:06
  You know, can you space that out?
• 34:08
  So investing how and really being thoughtful on how you're
• 34:12
  spending time and who you're spending time with.
• 34:16
  Now, another one of this would be investing in the right people
• 34:19
  at the right time. Investing like my acupuncturist
• 34:21
  says in things like I know acupuncture.
• 34:25
  I figured this out in pregnancy. It works really, really well for
• 34:28
  me. My body responds to it.
• 34:29
  I don't even understand. I mean, my spiritual side
• 34:33
  understands it, but my logical side is like, this doesn't even
• 34:36
  make sense. But somehow acupuncture really
• 34:39
  relaxes me. It makes my body feel good.
• 34:42
  My aches and pains go away. But she always says like, make
• 34:45
  sure you're coming before your body starts screaming.
• 34:48
  Because I've come to her so many times when my body is screaming,
• 34:51
  I'm getting crazy headaches, neck pain, whatever.
• 34:54
  And it's, you know, making sure you're not getting to that point
• 34:58
  where your body or your mind is just absolutely screaming and
• 35:03
  you can't, you know, come up for air.
• 35:06
  Um, and it just takes longer. Like we all know that if you
• 35:09
  take too long to take the Advil or Tylenol or go get that
• 35:14
  massage, it just takes longer to like work that out.
• 35:17
  And so, you know, investing ahead of time and when it comes
• 35:22
  to people like therapists or coaches like myself, it's
• 35:27
  investing in the right people for you.
• 35:31
  I have become so discerning in my life over all of my career
• 35:38
  changes, pivots, life changes, moments of like, you know,
• 35:43
  absolute darkness to like the highest of highs.
• 35:46
  I, I have become so in tune with who I jive with who I don't.
• 35:54
  And I've learned the way that works best for me to release the
• 35:58
  people who are no longer serving me in that way.
• 36:02
  I have had situations where I hopped on a call with a
• 36:05
  therapist and it just, it wasn't quite right.
• 36:09
  I asked her a question. We were able to do an intro call
• 36:13
  because the situation I was dealing with at that time, I
• 36:15
  felt like I really needed a specific type of person to
• 36:18
  really support me through this. And she OK, I'm going to be, I'm
• 36:23
  going to be totally frank and honest.
• 36:24
  I hate when people are just like beating around the Bush.
• 36:27
  I asked her a question. I was really dealing with a lot.
• 36:30
  This was after my husband's health journey.
• 36:32
  This is obviously a big theme for me.
• 36:34
  Um, something that's become way less potent, but it's still
• 36:37
  there. But it was a couple years ago
• 36:39
  and I asked this therapist that I was speaking with.
• 36:42
  I said, you know, I have a lot of what in the therapy world is
• 36:46
  called magical thinking. So I have a lot of fears around.
• 36:50
  Like do my thoughts create my reality, which logically I know
• 36:55
  is not true, but my magical thinking side of my anxiety, my
• 36:59
  anxious brain is like if I think this thing will it come true?
• 37:03
  Or if I think this negative thing is that going to happen?
• 37:05
  And she couldn't answer. Like she couldn't hold that for
• 37:09
  me. And she couldn't answer that
• 37:10
  question in a way that was more, you know, what I needed in the
• 37:15
  moment. So her answer was like, wow,
• 37:16
  that's a good question. You know, I don't really know.
• 37:19
  And for me, she was being honest and I loved that she was honest
• 37:23
  because I was like, whoa, I'm into hard of a place right now.
• 37:27
  And mentally I'm really struggling and I need someone
• 37:31
  who is so grounded and could face me in that moment and be
• 37:38
  like, I guess what I needed was for was for the person to just
• 37:41
  ask me the question and say, what do you know to be true or
• 37:44
  something like that. And I do now have a I found
• 37:48
  another therapist at that time who I would call my chicken
• 37:50
  soup. She was just like this, uh,
• 37:54
  she's this beautiful, beautiful counselor who I just loved
• 37:59
  working with and she would just hold the space for me and I
• 38:02
  would just cry. And we were just kind of work
• 38:05
  through the moments together. And I realized after that that,
• 38:09
  you know, I was like, OK, I'm ready to like really unpack some
• 38:12
  of the stuff that's happened in my life and how I'm feeling.
• 38:16
  And now I am, you know, I, I just transitioned to a new
• 38:20
  therapist and I found somebody who is perfect for me at this
• 38:25
  time. She is the right person for me
• 38:27
  at this time. And that's kind of the whole
• 38:29
  point when this point #5 is like finding the right person for you
• 38:32
  at the right time. And so for that first person,
• 38:36
  just to kind of circle back to how I closed that loop.
• 38:39
  As I said, thank you so much for this conversation.
• 38:42
  Let me have a think and let me just get back to you.
• 38:45
  And I actually wrote her and I said, you know what, I think
• 38:47
  you're, um, you're not who I need in this moment.
• 38:51
  I really appreciate your style. I appreciate your openness and I
• 38:56
  wish you the best of luck. I didn't create a bunch of
• 38:58
  excuses. It wasn't like this, you know,
• 39:00
  this awkward thing. I just wrote this.
• 39:02
  I took a second to think and reflect and not act in like a
• 39:06
  snap judgment. And then I just wrote a note and
• 39:08
  said, you know what? This isn't quite right for me.
• 39:10
  And I so appreciate that when clients are either like a hell
• 39:13
  yes or hell no for me, like as the service provider, I am not
• 39:19
  offended. If anything, you know, it's
• 39:23
  there's more hesitation around the person that you feel like
• 39:25
  you're, I never do this, but that you feel like you're trying
• 39:28
  to convince because that is that's not good for anybody.
• 39:33
  You know, I would never want to convince somebody to work with
• 39:35
  me as, you know, as a career coach, I would never want
• 39:39
  someone to feel uncomfortable or out of their budget or feel like
• 39:42
  they're maxing out a credit card or like it's just that's not the
• 39:46
  way to do it. And so don't ever feel like the
• 39:48
  crux of this story is don't ever feel like you are disappointing
• 39:52
  somebody, that it's awkward. I see people all that like not
• 39:56
  all the time, but like, you know, there, there might be
• 39:57
  somebody who I was going to work with or we just, we didn't work
• 40:02
  together. And I see them in the community.
• 40:03
  It's not a big deal. Don't ever let someone make you
• 40:06
  feel. You know, ashamed for not going
• 40:10
  through with a recommendation, say a friend was like, oh, you
• 40:12
  should see this therapist and you meet the person and they're
• 40:14
  just not for you. That's OK.
• 40:16
  It is so much more important for you to choose the right person
• 40:19
  for you at the right time. And so I am gonna leave it
• 40:25
  there. I'm gonna leave it there.
• 40:26
  I hope you enjoyed this. I hope you are excited about
• 40:30
  this season ahead. I'm really excited for you.
• 40:32
  I just feel like there's this buzz and this energy and I'm
• 40:36
  really noticing some trends in just in person gatherings in
• 40:41
  communities that are so beautiful and I'm just so here
• 40:46
  for it. So if you are interested, I hope
• 40:51
  you are in learning more about all figured out events, which is
• 40:55
  the events that I put on both online and offline.
• 40:59
  There will be more coming out over the next couple of months
• 41:01
  and into 2026. So sign up on my website
• 41:05
  andreabarr.com Andre A/B, arr2rs.com/events and that's
• 41:13
  where you'll get the whole listing of all the events I have
• 41:15
  coming up. The ones that have happened
• 41:17
  before. You can kind of see take a look
• 41:19
  at what's come and and you can get on the wait list as well.
• 41:23
  So I have a button on there. That's the wait list so that you
• 41:26
  can be the first person. There are some events that are
• 41:29
  smaller in nature, so they will sell out fast.
• 41:31
  And so make sure you're on the wait list.
• 41:33
  I will always let the wait list know first or the the I don't
• 41:37
  know what I even call it. The people who are on this like
• 41:40
  e-mail list, if you will, I will always tell them event about
• 41:43
  events first. So make sure you're on that list
• 41:45
  so you can be the first to know when I'm going to be dropping a
• 41:48
  new event. So I hope you enjoyed this
• 41:52
  episode today. Share it with a friend.
• 41:54
  If you have a friend who is, you know, is looking to make some
• 41:57
  sort of like she, you know, shake things up in 2026, make
• 42:00
  some shifts as we slide into the end of the year.
• 42:03
  Share this with a friend. It would mean the world.
• 42:06
  I'll catch you next time. Thank you so much for listening
• 42:12
  and since you made it this far, please share this episode with a
• 42:15
  fellow parent who you love, respect, and want to support.
• 42:19
  And while you're at it, hit me up on Instagram at All Figured
• 42:22
  Out. Andrea, I would love to meet you
• 42:24
  and hear what you are trying to figure out these days.