Latest / The Rooted Woman Podcast / Bury Your Shame at the Foot of the Cross: Walking Free in Christ Jesus
Transcript
- Courtney Her Mind On Mission: Hello and welcome back to the Mission for More podcast. I'm your host Courtney, the face behind her mind on Mission on social media. So shame keeps you stuck. Conviction leads to transformation. Remember that. I want to talk about the origin of shame and just the first mention in scripture and kind of going a little bit more into detail here because I always tell myself, even as I'm like raising kids, that if I can't explain the why, it makes more sense. If they know where things came from, it makes more sense. And there's less room for confusion or for questioning because when we have confusion and we're sitting there questioning, And today we are going to be talking about a topic that I think many people will be able to resonate with. The theme really goes along with entering into Holy Week and preparing for Easter. And I am just, I feel such a stirring in my spirit to go into this topic. I'm sitting here staring at the trees, just blowing in the breeze. I'm not in my usual podcast recording spot, but I just felt the Lord just lead me to stop what I was doing and record what he was planting into my heart. So we're going to jump right into it. The enemy has room to come in, so we're gonna silence him. I wanna go to Genesis 2.25. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. So we see that before sin, shame did not enter the picture. They were not ashamed. And then what happens? Genesis 3.7. Then the eyes of both were opened and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. So I've been sharing a lot of my weight loss journey on social media and I don't want the message to be weight loss because that's really not it. The message is stewarding my body well because the Lord has given me these beautiful children, amazing husband, this wonderful life and I want to be able to keep up with everything that he has called me to do, especially when my children want to race me and they want to play baseball and they want me to climb up after them at the park and do all those things. And it has been so cool to be able to move back into that. know recently I posted Genesis 3 10 and he said, I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself. And so this talks about, prior to shame entering the picture, there was no awareness of nakedness. There was no talk of shame. There were no feelings of needing to run and hide. But then when their eyes were opened and the enemy came in me doing a cartwheel on social media, just to be able to see the fruit of making these changes for my body. So it's less about weight loss and it's more about making these small 1 % changes, which I've been talking about. But there's something so much deeper that I feel like so many people will be able to resonate with. And I want to start with this question. have you ever felt like you were forgiven, but you're still carrying something really heavy? ⁓ Or you like you're saved and they knew that they were naked, then the shame came in. And what happened? He said, I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself. When we feel shame, we immediately go to hiding away. Whether it's actively hiding away and like pulling back from things in our lives and sitting in that shame and maybe spiraling even into sin. And you know you're saved but you also have this like immense shame and this weight that you're carrying that you feel like you just can't get rid of like you'll be happy for a moment, then there's this thing that keeps coming back or you'll start a plan. Maybe it is a weight loss plan. Maybe it is a meal plan. Maybe it is a just a workout routine that you feel like this will be really easy for me to do and you start it and you have tons of motivation and then all of a sudden a couple days in you miss a day and you feel like you have to start over from the very beginning. I want to talk or it's just pulling back from the Lord in our quiet time, whatever that looks like for you, It's just that immediate response to run and hide and to pull back and to emotionally or spiritually or socially disconnect. And so if you see those patterns in your life, recognize shame where it's at and move out of that place of being stuck in shame and come to the foot of the cross again and again and again so that you can repent, so that you can move forward, so that you're not stuck, but you're living in full freedom that Christ has given us. today about burying our shame at the foot of the cross because Jesus did not sit up there. was going to say sit up there. I mean, he didn't sit. He was nailed. He was brutally beaten. He was bleeding. I mean, we can go into all the nitty gritty of how gruesome that really was. He did not do that for us to sit in our shame. He did not do that for us to continue to start over again and again and again. He did not sit there and take the beating because he was like, oh, you know, maybe one day they'll get it. No, he wanted us And then I mentioned at the beginning, what are we talking about? Burying our shame at the foot of the cross. So what did Jesus do with our shame? In Hebrews 12, it says, at Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame. Despising the shame. I think that's so important to think about because when we feel shame, the Lord is not despising us. He's not shaking a finger at us, but the Lord despises that shame. to see like, hey, ⁓ I am taking your place here, ⁓ you ⁓ are going to have in your You're not perfect and I know that and this is what we deserve, right, ⁓ is to be up on that cross of our sin. But he said, no, I'm gonna stand in the gap here because I know that the Father wants eternal life with you. ⁓ that shame that tries to keep us away from him, that shame that says, hey, you need to run and hide, that you need to pull back, right? Despising the shame and he is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. He's in that high place, right? And if he's in that high place and despising shame, how much more should we combat the enemy and despise shame too and recognize when it starts to settle in in our lives and to move out from under it? He says, if you will accept me, that is the way to get to the Father. So we accept him, right? Some people say I quote unquote accept Jesus into my heart. There are different ways that we go about that and different denominations and different verbiage, but let's not get into semantics here. We accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior and then what happens? A lot of churches will say Monday's coming or this talk about just the enemy prowling around and trying to steal, kill, and destroy, and that's exactly what he does. And where does he go first? ⁓ makes us want to return to our mess, whether that's sinful behavior, going out partying, doing things that we're not supposed to be doing, if it is gluttony, I mean that's a sin that most people don't talk about ever, and it's one of the probably the biggest sins in many people's lives that we really need to get to the root of. There's so much that he says come and return to this thing because this thing seems better and it seems better for the moment and then what happens when we slip back into it is we feel all the shame and I think when that shame comes in, some of us, especially newer walk do not know how to deal with that shame. So what do we do? ⁓ sit in it. We just sit in it because we have no idea how to deal ⁓ when we sit in it long enough the enemy gets us back in this trap and we get back in this loop and we can't get off this hamster wheel this cycle ⁓ we seem to keep getting on. ⁓ I want to talk with you ⁓ you biblical truth practical application and equip you ⁓ the tools that you need to get out of the shame cycle to really bury your shame at the foot of the cross because sisters ⁓ So let me read Isaiah 53, three through five. was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. ⁓ as one from whom hide their faces, he was despised and he was ⁓ esteemed him not. And we esteemed him not. ⁓ Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our yet we esteemed him stricken. ⁓ smitten by God and afflicted, but he was pierced for our transgressions. He was crushed for our iniquities. Upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace. And with his wounds, we are healed." So if everything that he did took away our shame, brought us peace, and healed us ⁓ why do spiral? ⁓ Obviously, it's foothold of the enemy and we need to come out from under that as we've been talking about, but I think we need to recognize that. ⁓ If you to... ⁓ and I say this getting teary-eyed, it is time to stop the enemy in his tracks. It is time to say, no, I recognize that voice and you're not gonna bring me down again. And it's okay to feel shame, it's okay to mess up, it's okay to have sin, because again, we are not God. But there is this pivotal point in your walk where you will recognize it so quickly and say, no, I'm not going back there. Or, okay, I feel this way, valid, didn't make the right choice, it's okay to have this feeling because it's directing me in this other direction. in the moments when shame tries to grab onto you. If you were to remember the cross, if you were to recite some of these scriptures, do you think that would make a difference in the way that you think, in the way that you process, in the way that you either sit there in that pile of shame or you step out from it and you feel free again because you've just surrendered it and you don't have to continue to sit in that place of hiding or pulling back or feeling distant from God yet again. You know, it's that sigh, I'm here again. Now that I know that I've got these tools I can say no I'm not going to sit and shame as the enemy wants I'm going to take this feeling that I've got and I'm going to bring it back to the foot of the cross every single time. If you've taken my living in the overflow course then you have heard me say return again and again and again. ⁓ want to ⁓ continuously ⁓ to the foot of the cross that I don't carry something that's weighing me down for more than an hour ⁓ it's not going to perfectly work out like that but ⁓ want to practice it so much No, we're not here again with a, I wanna get excited. I'm here again at the foot of the cross because I know that I can give it to you every single time, Lord, and you're not mad at me for being imperfect. You knew that I would be this way, and that's why the story is written as it's written. And stand in confidence of that as a daughter. Stand in confidence that God did all of that for you, for me, for us. so that it becomes like, you know, scratching an itch, that it becomes like turning left at the stop sign to get out of your subdivision as you do every single time, that it becomes second nature to me to go back there because that is how we experience true freedom. as his children because he cares so deeply for us. And I think when we can get out of our own heads and we can recognize that and accept it in our hearts and our minds, it changes the narrative that we try to write over ourselves or that the enemy tries to write in our minds about us. If you look at Psalm 34, five, it says, those who look to him are radiant and their faces shall never be ashamed. I do want to pause here and just encourage you if you have not gone into the Living in the Overflow course through Easter Sunday, I am going to mark it on sale. I really believe that this is a pivotal moment in time that so many women are feeling the stirring of I've got to get out of this cycle and I want to help you. What I can give you in this podcast is not the same amount of information or heart that I can share in a five-week course. So I wanted to let you know that that's going to be available on sale. I'm going to leave the link directly in the show notes. You can also go to Okay, those who look to him are radiant and their faces shall never be ashamed. Have you ever heard of like the Jesus glow? People will talk about like before they knew Christ and were walking with him and then after, right? And there's like this Jesus glow or I used to look at people and be like, how are they so like joyful? Like there's a difference between. her mind on mission.com and it will be there for the taking. I am here to walk with you through it so if you have questions my DMs are open. You can always email me if something doesn't make sense. I'm huge on voice messaging so you're probably gonna get one of those back from me but I just highly encourage you to pause to take a moment to jump into that course. I know it's gonna be life-changing for you. being momentarily happy and being filled with joy. And I always knew that I wanted to get to that place. And I never knew that the missing piece in my life was Jesus until I started digging deeper and realizing that all of them had Jesus in them. And they were walking with him and they were being guided by those convictions and they weren't sitting in shame. And I knew that I wanted to chase after that because I wanted that radiant look. I wanted that. Okay, so I wanna jump into this other question that I have for you. Do you know that you are forgiven? that feeling that I didn't have to be ashamed, that I could be free. And so I sought after it until I found it. And I want to encourage you to do the same thing. Because you could know all the things. You could be familiar with it. But to really walk it out, to practice this, so that it does become, like I mentioned in the beginning, second nature for you, is completely different. And I believe that you are going to walk in full freedom. Do you know that you are worth dying for? That Jesus literally said, will die for you and he did it. He didn't just say he was gonna do it. It wasn't just this storyline and then he didn't measure up to the promises. He actually did it. And again, he died by a gruesome death. It wasn't just, ⁓ yeah, I'll die for you. No, a gruesome death that he died for you. You are worthy of that. He thinks so highly of you that God would send his son to die for your sins so that he could have eternal life with you. Okay, so it's like Courtney, how do I actually bury my shame at the foot of the cross? What does that actually look like? I want you to know that that is not something that you should take lightly that you should sit in that that if hearing that makes you tear up that you should journal what the root of those feelings are behind those tears Why do you feel like you're not worthy? Why do you feel like yeah, he says I'm forgiven but who could forgive me? Like why do you feel that way? Well, you bring it into the light. says 1 John 1 9 is if we confess our sins, he's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to what cleans us from all unrighteousness. Right. So if we continuously repent, if we continuously confess, if we come to community when we need accountability because we're struggling with something and there's a deeper root and we need some prayer and some check-ins there. If we do these things, then we can bury our shame because we're bringing it to the light. If it stays hidden, the enemy has more room to bring shame to keep you in that place to grow the the feelings that you're having about yourself in that place and we want to bring it to the light as soon as possible as soon as you recognize that there's something in your life that you need to bring to the foot of the cross you go and you repent as soon as you feel like I'm falling into this weird pattern you tell a friend I have some people in my life that I know as soon as I feel a certain way I could be like hey this is what's going on don't let me stay here or check in and ask me these couple of questions because I don't want to be in this place tomorrow ⁓ and so I just want to encourage you you are worthy and are loved and sister you are forgiven and I do not say that lightly I do not say that lightly and I think that if we could accept that it will make coming to the foot of the cross with our sins with the weight that we're carrying with our worries so much easier to do repetitively throughout the day even every five minutes if we have to because shame will no longer hold us back because we can step into that freedom of the forgiveness that Christ has us and make sure that you are following through with it and then receive you have to be able to receive what Jesus already did for you and Micah 7 19 that says he will again have compassion on us he will tread our iniquities underfoot you will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea and so if I receive what the Lord did for me on the cross then I believe it I receive it I can walk it out if I kind of believe it and I haven't fully received it it's going to be that much harder for me to step into that freedom to bring There is a difference between shame and conviction. Remember I said there will be that feeling, you will mess up because we mess up all the time. We are not God. Repeat that over and over. I repeat it to myself all the time. Like it's okay that I'm not perfect. I'm not God. But if I have this conviction, we've been talking so much in the Holy Habits challenges and even on the podcast about really leaning into that Holy Spirit wisdom and guidance and direction, going into the word. The word says like it is a lamp unto our feet, right? it to the foot of the cross to really release it to him instead of kind of holding on to it or trying to tuck it away in my back pocket and act like it never happened or to just spiral into a pattern of it happening all the time right and so receive what Jesus did and make sure that you're bringing it into the light when you combine those you're able to more readily renew your mind so Romans 12 to is where it says do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind so when we think about that verse it's like okay what does your renewing We are guided by that we will experience conviction Because we will need that that steering that straightening out from the Lord and he will lead us in the right direction because he wants Good things for us and he wants us to be able to give him glory at the end of the day And so he's going to just as we do with children. Hey stay away from the street Hey, we can't put that in our mouth. Hey spit that out. are things that I've probably said in the last 24 hours Okay, but there is a difference between shame and conviction then there's a difference of your mind actually mean. For me, I cannot renew my mind if I have not confessed my sin because it's still in the back of my mind that I've done something. ⁓ I'm struggling with something and I haven't talked to somebody and I don't feel like I have accountability, it's that much harder for me ⁓ ⁓ what the Lord did for me to renew my mind and to ⁓ refreshed ⁓ you shouldn't just like, go and repent and then... ⁓ still feel shame. You should feel refreshed after you bring that to the Lord, after you bring it to a friend and pray together over it and after you remind yourself what Jesus did for you. And sometimes we need that reminder every single time that we make a little mistake. And it's okay to remind yourself, it's okay to have that verse or special, you know, verses. You can have a whole set of them as your background or taped to your mirror or in your car or a little key chain of different verses that you make that you can keep in your purse. However you need to be reminded. between a gentle correction and a complete condemnation and just sitting there shaking a finger at somebody, right? And so why do we take the voice of the enemy and tell ourselves that that's the way that the Father would talk to us? Conviction will lead you to the Lord. Shame will drive you away. And that's the biggest guiding point that I want you to think about when those thoughts come in. I can't believe I did this thing. Don't forget to remind yourself because that is going to be your best weapon and then you need to be able to walk in the new identity that the Lord has given you when you say I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and I accept that He has taken my place on that cross I receive what He has done for me in 2nd Corinthians 5 17 it says therefore if anyone is in Christ He's a new creation the old has passed away behold the new has come so if I am a new creation even if I mess up I can walk and leads you closer to God so that you can repent and move forward that you can sit in the freedom that he's given you or Does it lead you away from him? I'm not opening my Bible. I don't want to turn on the worship music I haven't prayed in four days I don't know how to get back there every single one of those steps is leading you further away from the cross if it leaves leads you away That is shame if it drives you closer It is conviction be so aware of that that's gonna help you so much in your walk Romans 8 1 there is therefore now that new identity and not slip back into this old identity that I had because I know that I can leave it at the cross that I'm not just telling God and then continuing to walk with it I can bury it at the cross and I think if we think of it that way versus just like ⁓ yeah I confessed like okay but did you leave it there or did you bring it back with you to think about over and over and over again and feel shame and and spiral and have all these negative thoughts no leave it there bury it and recognize that you can continue to walk in that new identity no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Jesus, if you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you are not going to be under that condemnation, that shame that the enemy uses to try to stray us away from the Lord. You are going to be led to repentance, right? You are going to be led to more freedom. You are going to be led to a better life as you give that thing up, as you stop listening to that music, as you stop watching the show, as you leave rooms where there's gossip happening, whatever it is that the Holy Spirit that the Lord has given you and I think you have to proclaim your identity over shame as well. So in Ephesians 1 7 I love it says, I will thank God every single day for his grace and for his new mercies and for the blood of Jesus and I think when we say it out loud like okay Jesus took my place on the cross I don't need to walk with this shame. Okay Jesus said that my trespasses will be forgiven because he has is leading you to do or where that conviction sets in, right? It says in 2 Corinthians 7 10, for godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. Okay, so I want to talk about this because if we're looking at this verse, what did it say? It used the word grief. I'm going to talk about that word really quick because when I am feeling grief, I am not feeling, I can't done what he did for me right if you continue to repeat this and you make that the inner dialogue that you have you are going to be able to trample over shame when it tries to come in I did this thing. Shame on me. I'm so fill in the blank with all the words that we maybe bring to ourselves ⁓ or speak over ourselves, right? The word says grief and sometimes it says sorrow. There's different translations that you can read and I think it's good to read through several of them because sometimes that helps us to understand a little bit differently. Really look at that word grief. When I'm grieving, I'm missing, right? I'm missing something. And when we're talking about this, have to recognize that this is talking about shame from your past mistakes and shame from your current mistakes, as well as any shame that tries to come in in the future. So many times I think we ⁓ go through this process of able to let go of the things that we've done after we've come to know Christ and it's like, yeah, I know I'm forgiven for that, this, that and the other. ⁓ But have we actually let of the shame that was ⁓ over us in the past maybe before we knew him ⁓ or before we ⁓ came this point where regularly repenting? I will never forget when I was in mom's group when it was a smaller group. Anytime that somebody new came, I would always message them after and just be like, it was so great to connect with you. I loved connecting with people. I just have a heart for connection, a heart for my sisters in Christ. It's always been that way. And so that was just like my natural instinct was to message them afterwards and to be like, Hey, you know, so great to meet you. Let's stay connected. And so I went to go message somebody who had come to mom's group and I'm like, Whoa, I have a message history with her. What is this? And I must think about when you lose a family member You are not Not wanting to see your family. You are not pulling away I mean sometimes that's how we deal with grief as we go through the process of grieving But we normally connect with our family. We all come together. We say our goodbyes We were grieving memories We're feeling this this hole in our heart for a moment as we recognize what just happened And so I want you to think about that. Is that the way that you're feeling when you make a mistake? Is that the way that you're feeling when you're not reading your Bible because that should be the feeling that we have bumped into her in a different season of my life and probably don't recall that night, we'll just stick with that. And I was reading through some of these messages and was just so ashamed. So ashamed of where I had come from, of the things that had done, of even the conversations that were in that message thread and it like crippled me for a full day. Like I was down in the dumps. I was so ashamed. I remember telling my husband like, what is she gonna think of me? then what about other people? What if they find out like who all the details of who I was and like how we're aiming for. That should be the feelings that lead us right closer to the cross because if I'm grieving I know that I have missed the Holy Spirit. If I feel this way like I have missed my quiet time, I have missed the worship, I have missed X, or Z. horrible I was and these decisions that I made and he was like whoa like Jesus died for you and he took your shame when he did that why are you feeling the shame from your past like who cares what you did is that what you're doing now is that who you are now and I was like no and it made me go back to the points that I had already brought up to all of you here I had to bring it into the light I shared what I was feeling with my husband I even talked about it with a couple of my friends from mom's group like I can't believe this thing happened and when I went to message her you know and I shared the story I There's this twinge of pain inside my heart that says like I'm longing for that time. if that's not where you're at and you are at the opposite end, right, you are ⁓ in grief, then you're feeling shame and you're feeling pulled away and maybe we're depressed and ⁓ all other feelings that will keep us from being in community, that keep us from ⁓ repenting the Lord, that keep us from being close with him, from praying, from worshiping, all those things. ⁓ So we are what the Lord had already did for me. I renewed my mind, refreshed myself, and then I walked to my new identity and you know what I did? I messaged her anyway. And I was like, I don't even care if she sees this chat history from before because I know who I am now and what greater testimony if she saw me in that dark season and she saw me in my sin and now she sees who I am now. What greater testimony and what greater way to give God glory. And I could have missed out on the moment to give God glory in that situation if I had stayed stuck in my shame. So don't let the enemy to experience godly grief, what does it say? In 2nd Corinthians 710 it says that we will have a repentance, that godly grief produces a repentance. And so I want to focus now on the word produce because this doesn't say that we will force it, this doesn't say that we will... steal your voice in moments like that. Don't let him keep you stuck in your shame. You need to. Go through those steps. Remember scripture call it out return to the cross again and again and again and remember to really Visualize it visualize jesus up there on the cross and visualize yourself burying it because sometimes I feel like we can say the things and we know the things but to really visualize it and to really remind ourselves like just how Much he took for us. It brings me to a place of really really feeling like okay. I can Leave this it wasn't just like a okay a quick and painless death. No have to like conjure it up, it produces. So if I'm experiencing godly grief because I am opening up my mind, my heart, my soul to the Holy Spirit and to ask him for wisdom and discernment and guidance and direction, which I do all the time, right? Some of us are like every moment by moment, God give me clarity here. Okay, so if we are to ask him for these things, we will not miss a beat when that conviction sets in and now we're experiencing this godly grief. He was brutally beaten in my place. And so of course he wants me to bring these things to him Why would I try to hide it? Why would I run and sit in shame? I don't want to do that anymore and I'm encouraging you to not do it anymore ⁓ and that godly grief that we're experiencing will bring us to a place of repentance. It's like you can't help. but be in that place. But many times we have to practice getting there first because the enemy wants so much control over our minds and our lives and our actions. I mean, he's always on the prowl, so if he can keep us from the Lord, he's going to do that. So we have to be so aware of whether it's shame or it's conviction. Is it a voice of condemnation or is it gentle correction? And when we realize that, are we practicing this godly grief and is it producing repentance in our life that leads to salvation, that leads to being So let me just pray. Father God, I thank you for my sisters in Christ and I thank you that we can walk in a new creation, a new identity that you have given us as we come to know you, as we grow deeper with you, Father, and as we continue to listen to that still small voice, the gentle correction, the little convictions that come in, the changes that we can make to walk closer with you and to just put off our old self and to walk into the things that you have for us, to become who you've called us to be and to take pride as your daughters, to give you glory in all things, to not say, ⁓ I need to hide this part. back at the foot of the cross without regret. of me away. Nobody can know this. No, how much better if we bring it to the light and we allow people to see all that you truly have done in us and you get all the glory through that transformation Father. So I just pray against shame. I pray against condemnation. I pray Father that you will allow these women to bring things into the light in the communities that they have, that there will be deeper connections and more ⁓ just trust and vulnerability in the people that they have in their lives so that they can talk about these pain points so that they can have community to hold them. And I want us to keep thinking about that because ⁓ for so long I was stuck in that place ⁓ of ⁓ having worldly grief that produced ⁓ I was depressed. I was anxious. I was trying to per- You guys have heard my story if you've listened to the podcast or follow me on social media And I'm telling you it was taking my life. It was stealing my joy Then part of it was me and my actions I had a choice to make in it as well But the enemy had such a stronghold in my life that it was hard for me to come out from under it It was like every time I pried one of his fingers off of me It was like the other ones would come in tighter accountable if they're stuck in a sin pattern and most importantly Father I pray that they can have that deep and intimate connection with you that they feel like they can bring everything to you and not just bring it to you but leave it with you and trust that you have truly given your son to die for yes even those sins the ones that she's thinking about right now that she can't believe that she's done in her past even those two and so I just pray that she will be able to walk in full freedom in your mighty name amen and it kept me stuck for a moment. But here's the beautiful thing, when I recognized that I was feeling stuck, that I kept going around in this hamster wheel, I said something has to change. And I started praying for that change, and I started receiving Holy Spirit conviction, and I started acting on it. I didn't just ignore it, I acted on it. Thank you so much for tuning into the Mission for More podcast. I cannot wait to be back here next week. Until then, don't forget that the Living in the Overflow course will be on sale all the way from the time that you're hearing this until Easter Sunday. And I'm just encouraging you, if you're stuck in that place of shame or you feel like the overwhelm is just too much and you want that peace and you want the abundant joy, I'm encouraging you to take it. It's a five-week course. You can go at your own pace. You can fly through it if you want to, or if you feel like you need to go slower and really process things out, I just encourage you to into that and I pray that it will bless you.