Latest / Harder Than Life / 2: Redefining Success w/ Jeremiah Campbell

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2: Redefining Success w/ Jeremiah Campbell · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel and this is harder than life a podcast about self-love self-awareness business and health We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple practical advice. You can start using today. Let's get living It's Kelly Siegel with the harder the life podcast very special person to my right. He's a father a husband a
• 0:24
  business and transformation coach, the CEO of Brickworks Property Restoration for 15 years, co-host of the Destined to Be podcast with his beautiful wife, Mallory. He's a true underdog. Started from the bottom, now he's here. Welcome to the Heart of the Life podcast. And no, I mean, no one can take that title better than you. I appreciate that, man. Thank you for having me on. Yeah, and I left out the other things, man. The reason why we clicked so well is you're a brother from another mother.
• 0:53
  I love you dearly. This is going to be very special. I've been looking forward to this for a long, long time. So thank you for bringing. We're at the NTM offices. Yeah, man. And we're going to talk about some interesting things. And what I want to speak about is you're a public figure. You are.
• 1:12
  My motivation, my inspiration, I want to grow up and be like you. So it's an honor to be here with you. And what I want to say is we've all heard you on many podcasts. We've seen you on your podcast. We've heard it. I want to try to try to dig deep and give the people something that they don't know about you.
• 1:33
  I want to talk about life and our love and how we can go months without seeing each other. And then still just talk about. So let's start off with define success for me. Define success.
• 1:48
  So to me, success is being able to fall asleep at night without having to wonder if you've done a good job or not. Success to me is knowing that you've given 100%. So I've had many versions of success in my life. And it always started off monetarily. So we both grew up underdogs, right? We grew up. And so you were Warren. I was Roseville. And so I thought I was middle class because that's what my parents told us, you know, very...
• 2:16
  a blue collar Democratic, and that's just the way it was. And I never thought for a moment that I always – I'm going to pull it back a little bit farther.
• 2:25
  I now realize how success has transformed my life to who I am today, the man sitting in front of you today. But I believe there's an evolution of success that takes place in masculine energy that a lot of listeners may or may not have ever heard of. And so we hit certain phases of our life. So the moment of success for me was to get sober. Like if I could stop putting a needle in my arm, like I was successful.
• 2:51
  Right. And so get sober, take that away easily. Stop putting a needle in my arm and all of a sudden, bam, all of a sudden I like I have girls coming around. I have a car. I have money in my pocket. So that's the first level of success for me. And so you can go back and look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs first.
• 3:07
  And you can break down each need for success. However, success is continuing to evolve to be better than you were the day before. And as long as I'm continuing to move myself forward. Now, I'm going to preface it with this. I used to only look at external validations. So my journey over the last 24 months has allowed me to look inside of me so I can allow myself to process the scars, the traumas, the shadows, and the emotions so I can actually be successful and proud of myself.
• 3:37
  My whole life, I needed Kelly to tell me how successful I was and not look at it myself. That's fire, man. And I'm going to go on here and say, Mallory, we have to change the name to The Onion. I know what? There's so many layers to you. You're amazing. Thanks. So I want to paraphrase that back to you and see if I heard it right. Yes. It's success isn't money. No, nothing to do with money. Did you hear that, everybody? It's not about money. And everybody –
• 4:02
  society would tell you that it is. And it's, it's the pressures we put on ourself and it's the fame and the fortune and the accolades. I love hearing that about you at 24 months, because that's about the time when I, I call it love it. I literally just started loving myself and I get the validation internally instead of externally. And when you do that, you no longer are looking for the cheers or the jeers and the likes and the approval. Frankly, I don't even look for validation in anything.
• 4:32
  So it's it's a great evolution. The reason why we're so close, Roseville, Michigan, Warren, Michigan to middle lower middle class working class. Well, in Warren, South Florida, where I grew up, it was fight, you know, fight or be killed. So it was it was tough. We grew up very similar. How far did you grow up from the where Eminem grew up?
• 5:00
  I went to high school with him for a year. He'd been at my house and partying. So most of our listeners have probably seen 8 Mile. Yeah. And so if you guys can paint yourself a picture where the trailer park was, how far did you live from that trailer park in the movie? Well, it was integrated into our neighborhood. Yeah. So you could go three blocks. You're riding your bike there. So I'll give you a for instance. Kim...
• 5:25
  Scott Kim Mathers was two blocks away from me. Marshall's or Eminem's wife, the baby mama. Yeah. I don't want to get too far into the woods because he said that he lived. She grew up her entire life. Two blocks from me. Yes. So that eight mile was very painted the picture for everybody. Exactly. So we were very close. And you.
• 5:48
  You grew up – I want to get deep dive into – because a lot of people are struggling with drugs and alcohol. And we guise it under the – it's prescription. So whether it's drugs or alcohol or it's I'm just having a glass of wine with dinner. What – it's well documented. It took you seven? Five. Five. Five. Inpatient rehab stints. Why did it stick? Why did it stick? So I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. So the idea behind my sobriety is –
• 6:19
  I always knew I was destined for more. And so now looking back, spiritual realm calls it a crystal child. And so there's this yearning inside of me that I always know that there's something better around the corner, which is wonderful, but it's also a huge curse. Yes. And so the grass is never greener on the other side. It's greener where you water it.
• 6:42
  And so when I was able to move the drugs and alcohol and I get really, really into, you know, like Dr. David Hawkins work and he wrote a book called Power Versus Force. And in that book, he talked about drug addiction, specifically how it transmutes energy and frequency in your body.
• 6:58
  And so usually people with drugs and alcohol are, I mean, we're special. We're touched a little bit by our creator, by specific energy. I'm a believer in Jesus Christ. And I believe that he implanted that in me because I couldn't deal with life on life's terms. So I found drugs and alcohol to allow me to vibrate at a different frequency. And so what does it actually do? It actually...
• 7:19
  It stops my thinking and allows me to vibrate. And it created a lot of success in my life. It created a lot of mental. So with drugs and alcohol, it was fun. And then it was fun with problems. And then it only became problems. And so just like when I started talking about success, I graduated from that evolution of what I was supposed to learn to get to the next level of what success is and what sobriety is. Is there a...
• 7:43
  I find it no correlation that your initials are JC. So my man, yeah, you're the chosen one. I want to paraphrase that again. And literally, you just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. So the beauty part about it is that, unfortunately, your brother didn't make it. His demons got him. So I'm very grateful that you're here and that you got sick and tired before it became sick.
• 8:07
  ultimate, before you paid the ultimate price. Correct. So I'm glad you're here. Thank you. The world is glad you're here because you matter and you're going to, you've only scratched the surface of, since I've met you.
• 8:18
  of what you're, what you're going to do so much to unpack there, but literally that's the same thing that happened to me. I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. The beauty part about my sobriety was that I didn't have, I didn't hit a wall. I just knew that the next progression was problems when you hit your wall and it was like, okay, there's gotta be a better way. And I've never been happier. I've never been a better father, more successful in, in, in life, which is,
• 8:44
  being 1% better every day. So that's why we feed off each other. And I love it very, very much. Talk to me about being uncomfortable. Like everything, everybody says, and I would say this to you, you make it look so easy. You make life look so easy. What are your daily battles and struggles? Because behind the scenes for me, I got an issue going on right now with, with, with, with this, uh,
• 9:12
  a special person in my life where there's just some strife and I got to come in and I got to perform, but we, they say you fall to the level of your habits.
• 9:20
  not rise to the level of your training. Yeah. Talk about Jeremiah's daily habits. I know that there's a lot. I know they're ever changing, but I'd like the listeners to get at least just one thing that goes, you know, everybody's doing, everybody knows about working out. Everybody knows about meditation. Everybody knows about journaling, but in cold plunges. And I know you're, I saw a hyperbaric chamber that you're going to do. Talk to you about what's the one thing that you would recommend the average average listener who just turned into the first time. This is going to be one of the very first episodes.
• 9:51
  What could the average listener do to make their life better when it becomes to a daily habit ritual? Because people are stressed. What is the one coping mechanism besides sobriety? Of course, no drugs and alcohol. They're crutches. We all know that's well documented. I mean, it's so easy to numb and just go the easy way. I take the hard way. That's why it's called harder than life. I've screwed everything up. What's the one thing that Jeremiah would recommend people do to cope with life?
• 10:22
  I would say, and it is true, and so you never rise to the occasion. You fall to your training always. And so we learn that in martial arts. We learn that in tactical training. We learn that. It's like two is one and one is none, and it's the redundancy of life. And so one of Dr. Joe's biggest things is you have to have a vision of the future that's stronger than the emotions of the past. So either you're building a life plan,
• 10:46
  that you're more excited for or the pain and hurt and regret from the past, right? And so we all know these things, but are we willing to apply them to our life? And what does that take? That takes courage. And it's not about building a life.
• 11:03
  I've gone through so many different phases and have so many different in virtual mentors and masterminds and all these different groups in these individuals that I've been beyond blessed of being in these rooms with these individuals. And one thing is, is we're all fucking human. Like we're never going to get out of this any other way. Like we get this little allotment of time. So when I stop judging and I start doing those things. So if I could answer your question first, it would be to cut the noise out.
• 11:26
  And start listening to you. And most people on the planet have never done that. And so what I mean by that is we compare. And people that say they don't compare, they're probably the worst comparers. And gossip. And it's fun. And it's what we do. What if it's scary? What if quieting down? Because that's the number one thing. When I first got sober and I tried to quiet the external noise, the internal went gangbusters. And I have no...
• 11:54
  Shame. I was curled up in a ball, 220-pound ball on my couch crying because I had 40 years of not dealing with my emotions. And they were just spewing out of me. What does that – how do –
• 12:09
  We recommend someone deal with it because it's going to spur up. That's where I go. The night is darkest just before dawn and life is going to get really hard once you make this change. And then because the universe is testing you. Talk about that because I know Dr. Joe's philosophy. Unpack that for the average user who hasn't.
• 12:28
  The average listener who hasn't done the work, who doesn't read like we do, who doesn't do these things because the Dr. Joe is a lot of the secret. So unpack that. Law of attraction and things like this. That's what I want to talk about. And so the law of attraction is one of the best things that's happened in the personal development space, but it's also one of the worst. And so usually things that come, they come double-headed.
• 12:51
  Right. And so when it comes in those, yes, it's going to. We both are massive. We absorb content like crazy. Right. And we are reading books. That also is part of the problem. Like it's wonderful. And we learn a bunch of things. But the more I can learn externally, the less I have to look inside. And so I stay super aware so I don't have to pay attention. And I'm like, well.
• 13:11
  I just ask myself a deeper question. And so, yes, it's going to get painful. Whenever you change anything, the older you are, the more ingrained you are in your habits. And so when we break it down to just listening to what is, and so we're human doers. It's like, no, no, no, wait a minute. We're human beings.
• 13:27
  When's the last time we took a second to just be present with what is instead of messing around with, all right, well, if I do this and if I do this and this guy said this and grind your head off and like Rob Dyrdek's thing. He created and designed a life specifically and that's one of his things. He's running 70 businesses and he designed a life to build upon his and he says, I'm not a family man with a business or I'm not a businessman with a family. I'm a family man with a business.
• 13:54
  And he started prioritizing those things. So when the screaming comes out, so what is it? It's an emotion. What is an emotion? An emotion is energy trying to move. E-energy in motion. And it gets stuck. And it gets stuck and we find vessels and we find people and we find external things to validate us and it moves the energy around us. And all we're doing is trying to evolve in connection.
• 14:16
  Men that I work with that are addicted to sex or pornography or money or drugs or alcohol, it doesn't matter. We're all seeking the same exact thing. It's acceptance and it's nurturing love. Really at the root of it, it's connection. And so we're human beings trying to connect with one another, yet what we're actually doing is...
• 14:36
  We're creating this thing that if I only had, and you're a very successful man, anybody listening to the show, I refer to all of my listeners and your listeners as seekers. And we're seeking the next level of transformation, right? And every one of us have experienced success, yes? And so we have this beautiful, amazing amount of success in our life. And I'm like, shit, I expected it to feel different.
• 15:01
  And when we're seeking the feeling, that's what the law of attraction is about. And so when they say feel it, so what was the expectation of having a million dollars in the bank feel like? And all we're searching is the feeling and not the cars or the money or the women or whatever we think it would give us. And we get that feeling now, we're aligning and vibrating with the frequency. And it goes from the law of attraction to the law of expectation. And so they say expectations are resentments waiting to happen. No, no, no.
• 15:29
  When we're expecting because we know it, we're showing up with the confidence and showing up in the world, knowing that what's out there is ours for the taking. Wow. You. Yeah. I suddenly feel less smart. I love it. You're beautiful, man. You said something I never heard you say before. The seekers. Let's let's go. First of all, present being present and mindful is what I heard out of that. Just.
• 15:58
  Be quiet the noise. Be present. Every day is a gift. That's why they call it being present.
• 16:04
  So let's just make sure that that is a big takeaway for the listeners. But these seekers, what would you define somebody as that seeking but just can't do for whatever? Is it called blocker? We all have friends. We all have people that we work with. You have people you're coaching that they know better, but yet they still do. They're seeking the joy and the feeling and the happiness.
• 16:29
  but they just aren't willing or are not capable of doing the daily work it takes to experience that, the goal, which is to be happy and joyful. Do you have a term? Do we have a Jeremiah-ism for that? I would. So that's going to be most of our listeners. Correct. They want this. Nobody wants to go through life dazed and confused.
• 16:57
  Everybody wants to be happy. So you're referring to somebody that's stuck. Yes. Okay. Yeah. So if you're a listener or somebody that's stuck in a certain phase of your life, no matter what it may be, you got to get extremely crystal clear of what you want it to be. So we really focus on things that we don't want to happen. And wherever our attention goes, our energy flows. And so if we're focusing on the things that we don't want. So if you're having a conversation with somebody, you go to lunch.
• 17:21
  and you're having a conversation with a waitress, and you just ask her, like, what, for instance, driving my eight-year-old to school this morning, and I said, what's exciting you for today? Like, what are you really excited about? And he's got to stop and think about it. But if I asked him, like, what are you upset about, or what bothers you? He'll tell me a million different things. And so that's the way that, in our culture, that we're actually designed. So when I'm referring to the seekers, and I'm referring to the presence of what is, is we're –
• 17:48
  We think that we should be doing something different than we're actually doing. But what if what we're doing is trying to show us something and we're not willing to stop and listen to the lesson that needs to be learned to get past that, what's blocking us. And so simply put, like if I'm sitting there and I'm fighting with, and I have massive internal fights and I didn't go to sleep last night until like two in the morning. And I was watching that new documentary called Stoots or whatever with Jonah Hill and his
• 18:13
  Oh, I saw pieces of that. Yes, man, you gotta watch it. I didn't get through it yet. And so we all have these internal struggles and dialogues, and especially with Twitch that committed suicide and the mental health and all of this that's going on here. There's not one person in the world that's not struggling with something.
• 18:28
  And so when I use the word struggle, people, we can use grit and we can use toughness and we can use mental rigor and all these wonderful words and terms. But if I'm not willing to feel into that emotion, the stuff that makes men feel afraid, why does it make me afraid?
• 18:46
  What is it that's making me afraid right now? What is it? Is it? Is it my acceptance? And so when I look at my wife, Mallory, and I say, hey, I'm feeling not seen and heard. What is it? Well, it's not up to her to make me, but we're in this together. And so what's her responsibility as a as a loving wife versus what's my responsibility as a husband to make my side of the street as clean as I possibly can to then show up in the way not not in the way she wants me to show up.
• 19:12
  Not in the way I think I should show up because I'll look good on social media. But what does Jeremiah need in his heart? What is my truth? A lot of ego there that we have to maneuver through. I was having a conversation with somebody last night. I felt rejected. Oh, yeah. That's a deep one. And I'm like, wait a minute. I'm not being rejected. This is not their intention whatsoever.
• 19:42
  that let their ego run their day.
• 19:48
  Okay, so I love ego. I love, there's a lot, there's a ton of work around ego in this work. And when I say this work, what we do as, what we're actually doing as men in this, right? This is the work. We're actually going through and actually doing the work. And most people are afraid of the work. So the ego is, you know, in 12 steps, we call it, you know, easing God out, you know, and I'm going to do the things. My definition of what the ego is, is my ego is there to keep me alive.
• 20:15
  When I get to run hand in hand with my ego, I'm able to show up in a way for myself that I've never been able to see before. My ego is what keeps me alive. So my ego has an intimate relationship with my subconscious because that's where it lives. Right? And so when we're trying to calm ourselves and we're trying to be, right, and we're trying to be, people say, I can't meditate. And I say, well, why can't you meditate? I keep thinking.
• 20:39
  And I'm like, okay, you're thinking, but are you thinking about your thoughts? And they're like, well, yeah, I just can't turn it off. And I'm like, how about for the first time in your life, you're aware of the thought. And if you're aware of the thoughts, isn't that you bringing awareness to the moment?
• 20:55
  And they're like, well, I'm like, isn't that the point in the evolution of meditation is to be present with what is, even if it's the thought. And so we get, we get in comparison, we start to look at it. And so that's my ego saying, well, Kelly, I used to be able to meditate for two hours. Now I can't meditate for more than 30 seconds. I'm not willing to accept where I am. So it's not my ego. That's the problem. It's my resistance to my ego. It's the resistance to what I think it should be. And I can't.
• 21:24
  The universe is gonna reward me as I'm allowed to balance my nervous system. And so all of the work over the last, that I've done over the last two or three years, I thought it was about the evolution and understanding who I am, but it's really being able to understand and comprehend my nervous system. And that's again, where everything is anyways. Well, some brilliant guy, you, told me to read The Ego is the Enemy, and I did. And what it talked about was the ego is also the one, the two, the three, four, five-year-old version of yourself.
• 21:54
  And it's putting you in those situations. So in the case of me feeling rejected last night, that was the five-year-old version of me not getting the love from his mother and stepfather. And I recognized it. And all I did was name it. And it was – it didn't – but it allowed me to not react. I was able to respond and not react. And it was –
• 22:19
  It was a productive conversation. And when you stack those over a long period of time,
• 22:25
  What do you have? Success. Yeah. So it's brilliant. It's brilliant. We're good. I want to switch some a little bit of gears and talk about you. We talked a little bit about books. What's what's the one book? What's your one go to right now? I know it always changes. Oh, my gosh, it changes so much. I get it. So check this one out. This is a really, really good one, depending on your grown up. So one of the best books in the last couple of months that I read was Living Untethered, Michael Singer. So it's as great as his newest book.
• 22:49
  And that's where a lot of my energy work is coming from. The book that I just, oh God, there's so many good books right now. No, no, just so people know, because I get a lot of crap. I'm a reader. I actually have a handbook. You're an audio book guy, right? It doesn't matter as long as we're taking in content. Dude, I listen to audio books at like two X. Just feed your mind. That's the harder than life mantra. Feed your mind. I am addicted to the advancement of my being and that requires me to take in content, content, content.
• 23:19
  analyze, think, but the entire time being present, which is the hardest balance, which is really to finish the thought. And then I want to talk about that work life myth. Yeah, it's awesome. Adult children of emotionally immature adults, emotionally immature parents. Whoa. Is that that's the book? That's the book. Yes. Adult children of emotionally immature parents. OK, I'm going to pivot for a second. Do you...
• 23:48
  find yourself getting triggered by your your amazing boys because of your your upbringing oh my god like i can't it's a mirroring board it's no joke it's i look at them and i'm like so especially the difference between my eight and five year old and so we had a huge event happen where we we stopped talking to mallory's parents when when when my oldest was like six months old and we haven't really had them back in our life and
• 24:13
  And I feel terrible because Mallory doesn't have her parents in her life. And it's pretty much us. And it's a relationship where it's like, is it worth trying to go do that? We're dealing with narcissists and drugs and all kinds of different stuff and codependency. And I mean, it strikes. And so we watch it play out in our marriage.
• 24:29
  Because I am an anxious attachment style to where I'm like, I need you. I need you. I need you. I need you. And she is an avoidant. And so the way we both show love is she pulls off and I'm like, I just need to be told I'm in physical touch. And so, dude, it creates monumental challenges in our relationship. So there's a book.
• 24:51
  was it Attachment Theory? That's the book that if anybody, if that resonated with anybody, read that book. I will put it in the show notes.
• 25:00
  It describes all the different attachment theories and it works. And that is you guys. I didn't know that about you. That's fire. So that's the worst one to have the toughest one, the avoidant and the anxious because you're, you're literally have a push pull going on. No, I've spent my whole life in shame because of how much I am. And so I, I, there's another book called deeper dating and Dr. Ken page wrote it in. And so.
• 25:26
  In there, he has this attachment style set up where what happens is because I am so much, because you are so much, I feel that nobody can handle me. And so what I do is I – and I'm a people pleaser.
• 25:42
  Right? And so I don't know if you can relate to that or not, but I want to make everybody else comfortable. Once they're comfortable, then I can take it. What I'm doing is I'm diminishing the importance of my needs. And so I have core needs at the center of my soul. One of my unique gifts to the world is my depth. And so I'm able to open people up like I can and get into the truth of who they truly are in about 30 seconds.
• 26:05
  And I bring that awareness and presence, and that's part of my God-given gift. Nothing to do with me. It's part of why I'm on this planet, right? It's part of my actual true purpose. So what I found out was one of my deepest and strongest gifts is my depth and how fast I can get there.
• 26:20
  Well, in my intimate relationships, not just with Mallory, in all my intimate relationships, what I'll do is I'll sacrifice that and I don't honor it. And when I don't honor it, I all of a sudden, then what does it turn into? I'm bad because I can't accept myself. Now I'm shaming myself. Now I'm turning in a down roll spiral where I can easily spin out of control. So what do I have to do? I have to figure out how to build boundaries. I have to figure out how I can create that depth and, and, and,
• 26:45
  In internally rather than external to get the validation. And I'm like, if I would have just figured this out, I wouldn't have had to build these multimillion dollar companies. I wouldn't have had to do any of this. I would have just been OK. And so I got to reverse engineer everything. I would tell you that.
• 26:59
  you, I do believe that about you, but I'll add you one more. The reason what makes you so special is, is your big heart, your love, you emanate love for everybody that is around you because you love yourself so much that if it, if the, if it's not reciprocated or it's crabs in a bucket, someone pulls you down, they get exited out of your life. Yeah. And like Mallory's parents, you know, I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying what's right or wrong. I'm just saying that that's called boundaries and I'm proud of you and I'm happy for you. And I, and I, and,
• 27:29
  But let's talk more about your relationship with Malik. Ten years, 11 years now. 11 and a half. 11 and a half years married. You just went on an amazing honeymoon, right? Is that what it was? That was last year. We were at St. Thomas for our 10-year anniversary. Buddy, life, I can't believe. I look up at the clock. It's 11-11. It's unbelievable. Angel numbers. That we're on the right path. But –
• 27:50
  Talk about the thing that I love about you besides everything. Literally, you're amazing. I'm not just saying this for the show. I've always think that my life has gotten better since the day I met you. You have so many gifts to give this world, and I want to help you in any way, shape, or form I can. But the way to really give is to model. You model yourself.
• 28:13
  Winning success in all aspects of life. Let's talk about the myth of the work life balance because there really isn't if you're winning at personal life, you're going to win a business if you're winning a business you should be winning and personally talk about how.
• 28:31
  the vulnerability, the being true to yourself, the loving yourself has, has won you business as well as one, your home and how important the equilibrium of the two, what is it called? Equanimity is what, uh, uh, Ed Milet calls it. Talk about equanimity and how important that is to you and how it leads to your success. I appreciate that. Yeah. Um,
• 28:57
  One of the biggest things that I do, I had a friend tell me probably a couple years ago, he said, you go where you're celebrated, not tolerated. And so I want to constantly be around people that celebrate me and I want to know what celebration means to me, right? And so I want to be around people like you that are like – not like – we show up life for what life is for. We don't want –
• 29:18
  The normal. We want the extra. I want to know what the real juice is. Like, oh, fine. Yeah, you're fucked up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. Like, okay, you're good. Great. Well, how could you be great? You know, and so my spiritual advisor, he passed on now, and he would say, don't ever let the enemy of your good become the enemy of your great. And so, like, yes, just because it's good, what could it be?
• 29:38
  And that's where I deal with the shame because a lot of people aren't willing to accept that. And so when we build our businesses and our leadership team and our friendship and all these things, I've lost so many friends. I mean, I've lost good friends. Like I have good, you're one of my good friends. I could call you up. I'm like, hey, Kelly, I'm getting into it. Mallory, can I go stay in your place in Florida? Whether you're there or not, you're like, yeah, of course, go stay there. And you're a good friend, right? People say like you should have five friends or less in your life.
• 30:08
  because I'm willing to get vulnerable to people and because I'm willing to do those things. I was at an event and it was one of my first big events that I went to. And the gentleman that taught Michael Jordan.
• 30:21
  Michael B. Jordan? No, no, Mike. I'm talking about Tim Grover. And he said the myth of balance. And he goes, when you have a scale and the scale is balanced, what is it reading? Zero. Zero. And so that's exactly what you're going to get. No matter where you go, you have to put your energy into one bucket.
• 30:42
  And so what I would say is whatever's causing you the most pain in your life, and if you can't turn into your body to figure out where the pain is residing, use a pen and paper. Write the things down. Write the model of where you want to be to where you are and the difference between the two of them, what's blocking you the most.
• 30:58
  And so whether it be, I know some of the best relationship coaches in the world are single. Some of the biggest business owners in the, like Marcus Limones, he's not married, doesn't have kids, right? And so where are you and where do you want to be? Because my success might look way different than yours. But if I can celebrate your success with you. So to answer your question when it comes to...
• 31:19
  you know, the work-life balance and the fallacy of what that actually is, is what is in alignment with you? I have a friend, dear friend of mine, business partner of mine, that, that he ended up, um, he, he had, he had a, he's got a beautiful child and he's not with the mother. Right. And so he said, I, I really want to focus on my business and I'm not in love with her. And so I'm going to do a disservice by staying with her. And I judged him. I judged him. And,
• 31:43
  He now has a business where he has several hundred employees and he's going to be doing a huge exit in life. He's happy. I couldn't understand it 10 years ago. I couldn't wrap my head around it. And what it was doing, it was keeping me stuck. And it was keeping me and it was the judgment on what I think he should be. And so when I removed it, that's the ego trying to put something in there to be like, I'm different than you. He's happy. He's successful. That works for him. It might look different than mine, but that's why this world is so beautiful because everybody has their different version of it. So...
• 32:12
  If you're stuck in, well, I have to do this and I have to do this, you built that life. And so you're the only one that can unbuild that life. And we see it over and over again. Mom starting over. There's groups of men where it's dad starting over, men dealing with infidelity, men dealing with not being able to attract the right spouse, the mate, all of these different things. There's different groups set up. And so when you focus in on where the biggest hurt is, you will make the biggest impact in your life. I say, okay.
• 32:41
  You know, find your relationship with you first. Find out what you want. Find out what makes you happy. Find out what makes you tick. Then use whatever that ability is. And there's sayings in this industry. It's, you know, God's, you know, my purpose is, or what makes me happy and brings me joy is fulfilling my internals. And then when you go out, that's God's will when I'm able to share it with the world.
• 33:01
  And it's finding the way to use your unique ability to then go and show up for the rest of the world. And when we try to make our spouses happier, we try to be the dad that we want to be for our kids, we're missing the point. And it's about making the joy and the truth with us and then bringing that and delivering that. Airline, put your mask on first before you put anybody else's on.
• 33:23
  And that's exactly how this works for the balance because if I'm not balanced, I can't be a balanced man outside of that. I tell my daughter this every day and I tell my work family that the number one most important thing is keeping my mind right. And that's my job, but it's an important job and there's a lot of people that can detract from it. So I've got to be healthy and happy and then everything else will fall under there.
• 33:47
  Well, 85% of it is your body and your workout. You got to move your body and you got to fuel it correctly. We, we, we, like, I believe that's in, in, I believe that's about 85% of it. So your mind's never going to function properly. If you're feeding your vessel, your, your meat suit in this realm with, with this, with garbage and crap. Right. And if you can't get that portion right and you can't wake up, drink water, move your body.
• 34:10
  I don't care if you read. I don't care if you do affirmations. I don't care if you journal. But if you get those two things right, it's going to clear your head up enough to get you moving in the right direction. That's the biggest needle you can move. People that work out on a regular basis are already following a regimen. So they're winning at that. And then all the other unintended benefits. Man, we could talk forever. I have no idea how long we've been going. But there's so many of this stuff that I want to unpack and dig into. We've been on for 34 minutes. But there's so many things I want to dig into.
• 34:38
  We're going to have you back. We're going to do this. I'm going to come on your podcast and then we're going to dig deep. So I got some more questions. You're winning at life, but – these are questions that I even ask myself. If you were offered a mulligan in life, what would you do over? That's a good question. I would go back to when my first son was born. And I would own who I was before he was born.
• 35:06
  That's what I would do. So that's eight years ago. Take me back to your 35. Take me to this 27-year-old Jeremiah. What was going on in his head?
• 35:15
  Uh, I was, I only cared truly about what other people thought about me. I only wanted success. I, and there's trips that I was on and Mallory and I, we were just back in Jamaica, um, a couple of weeks ago. And we were, last time we were there, it was the real, one of the first times she had, she had a fitness studio at the time. And there was an issue at the fitness studio and I had stuff going on at our brick company and it took us about four days. Uh,
• 35:45
  I've heard this. To detach from that. And I was so worried about being somewhere. And I was taking trips just because. So there was a moment when I got sober. And there was a guy at a meeting. It was a 12-step meeting. And he had these gold chains on. And I call it the Mr. T starter kit. And he was sitting there. And he was talking about going on vacation. And I said to myself. I didn't say this out loud. And I'm like, wait a minute. This guy has it so together that he pays his bills.
• 36:14
  and goes on vacation. So it was like a rite of passage for me. And so what I did, what I actually did was I would go on vacations just because I thought that's what people would look at me to be successful instead of actually trying to be present in the moment. And I was so worried and concerned about making everybody else around me happy and comfortable. I was never able to look into the truth of who I was. Now, this stems back to when I was a child, right? But I'm
• 36:41
  I know now his name is Ryder. Ryder has the journey that he's on because that's going to make him who the universe intended for him to be. So I wouldn't want to go back and change it because that's what he is destined for in his life. So it was the pains and the hurts in my life that got me to sit in this chair in front of you today. And it's going through those things to be to where I need to go to be to evolve to the next person I am. And that's mastering my emotions. And you never master them.
• 37:10
  You just understand them from a different light. Man, you're deep. I love it. I love it. I, I, we've all said it a million times. I wish we could go back and go to college or, or, or go back to our 18 year old self and know what we know now. Yeah. Um, unfortunately though, life doesn't work that way and everything happens for you and not to you. So I, you shared with me that you're looking for, you want acceptance. I want love. That was my biggest thing. I just want to be loved. So my whole life.
• 37:38
  existence for years was okay if I do this they'll love me then and and I have to remember I love myself and since I made that change I don't a lot of things are unimportant I had a conversation with you I think two maybe three years ago when we were a capital girl I said wait when you get about 35 you're going to start seeing things much different where just the things that are important you're not won't be important then I learned
• 38:00
  I watched my The Body Keeps the Score, another great book that you recommended for me. I learned that vacation is a recharge and I use it for that.
• 38:09
  I'm about to go on a two week vacation next week with my daughter, which the first I did it about started about 12, 15 years ago. And I need it because I come and bring justice and pain to the world. When I get back, it is, I am here to be an upsetter. I want to jumble with the status quo. And if you see me on video, it's, I'm putting air quotes up. I, I'm here to be a disruptor. Yeah. And I too, I,
• 38:39
  want to be present, but I want to live life fulfilled and live life a long time. So every, I begin with the end in mind and I make every decision based on where I'm going to be. And if it doesn't align, it's just a no, just a no from me, bro. So I couldn't answer that question about the mulligans. You know, it's well documented. I got arrested selling drugs and, uh, I've lived a crazy life. I wouldn't take anything back. I wouldn't be me. Uh, I, I wish I had a little bit more love from my parents.
• 39:09
  but I wouldn't be as aggressive. I wouldn't own an amazing company. I wouldn't be here in front of you. So I can answer that question. So I'm in awe that you're able to do it because everything happened for me. And I can look back, and this is an overused thing. We can look back at every terrible time. You can look at the fourth rehab stint. And you can look at, I know one of the times you came out and your dad gave you a joint and you knew you weren't gonna make it.
• 39:37
  Everything is shaping you. So if anybody's in a tough situation where they think, oh, my God, there's no option. There's always an option. You can fix anything but debt. So you talked about Twitch taking his own life. Don't. Don't. Just there are people. You matter. You're here for a reason. And I wouldn't take anything back. Maybe be a little bit less stubborn. I guess the one thing I would notice, believe people when they tell you something. So I have a couple more questions, and we'll get out of here.
• 40:05
  If you could have dinner with one person alive or dead, who would it be and why? Alive or dead. So this would always change depending on where I'm working in my life the most, right? So if majority of my energy is going into businesses and acquisitions or if it's going into coaching and emotions and intimacy, I would probably say…
• 40:29
  We're about to see where you are in your life right now. Yeah, right? Right? So here's the thing, though. When I'm into somebody's work, I just get a hold of them. Like, there's very few people that I haven't met or had a –
• 40:39
  And I've had the opportunity to be around these wonderful individuals and there's not much I would ask them when I'm with them. So it's more of a, how do you actually operate? And what I would ask is to see how they, I'm really big into Jordan Peterson's work and he's doing a bunch of stuff on marriage right now. And, and he sits there with his wife and he talked about it and he goes, he goes, success isn't about drinking cocktails on the beach. It's about how your wife treats you at the kitchen table. And it's how your kids greet you at breakfast.
• 41:09
  And so I would say somebody along the lines of like Buddha or somebody along the lines of these Tibetan monks. And I want to be a spot on the wall when they're not paying attention.
• 41:25
  right? And I want to observe and watch how, when they stub their toe, what is their emotional frequency? What is their reaction and how are they, what is their actual thoughts of going into why they reacted the way that they did and how they were able to control this? So the depth of your hurt in your traumas, it will show in your life. So I'm in these business groups with these super elite individuals. Right?
• 41:49
  And I feel like I'm like the only one woken, right? And so they call it cognitive dissonance is what they call it. And when I'm in a group of individuals where I'm not able to actually feel connected. And so I have a lot to say, just like you, right? And so when I have a lot to say, if it falls on deaf ears or they're not comprehending and understanding it, there's a dissonance to this. And I'm not able to offload this energy. So I'm a generator. I need to pass and spread.
• 42:17
  all of this. And that's how I replenish myself. I have to push it out. And it's a spiritual and energetic cleansing. And so to be able to understand on a deeper level how you can listen to somebody speak and very amazing and transformational. But the reality is, is when you hit the ground on a pillow and do a two-hour somatic breathwork session with somebody and release those energies and emotions and go back and see things that the subconscious mind is hiding from you because it's no longer safe, that's where...
• 42:46
  I get the real change in my life. That's when I'm really able to, when I stand up, I'm a different individual. I was in a breathwork session with my coach probably about a month in November. And all that came to me, he came over and he put my hand on my chest. There was like 10 of us in the room. And it said, this voice, it was me. It wasn't God. It wasn't anything weird. It was me. And it was this side, this, you are what you're looking for.
• 43:16
  So my whole life, I'm looking for other things. So it's the feeling we're looking for. You call it love. I call it acceptance. So I have, right, right? That's brilliant. And it's really just a feeling and it's how we identify to the feeling. And somebody might call it lust and somebody might call it all these other things. It doesn't matter. But we're looking to feel whole. We're looking to feel connected. We're looking to feel aligned.
• 43:39
  Are you connected and aligned and feeling whole these days? A hundred percent. I love you, man. To the best of my ability and my conscious awareness of what it means to me at this moment. And so I always postmark these, I timestamp it in my head. And I would say, if I only knew now, well, if I'm continuing to journey in this 3D world and widen and expand the depth of my consciousness and my awareness to what I think it is,
• 44:06
  in one month or two weeks or after we get up from this in our next meeting, we're deepening and expanding that experience. And so I will always continue to ever evolve. And I mean, they've been saying this to the since we were kids, right? And yeah, you know that the teacher becomes the student. And it's like, no, I always want to be the student. Like I never want to be the teacher. No, no, no, no. That's because I'm not learning. Yeah. And continuing to be. I would ask you a total officer question. Yeah. How good can you stand life?
• 44:31
  It's infinite. It's infinite because there's different layers of it. Right. And so, yeah, so you can create those feelings, but now when you've had those transformations and you've been able to experience those things and you can't unknow, did you ever think that you could be this happy? Yes. Isn't it awesome? Yes. Life's good, man. It's amazing. I had one more question and then I want to know how we can support you. If you could create one law in the universe, what would it be? And why?
• 45:02
  One law in the universe. I want to go with something that would don't take yourself too damn serious. And that came from the 12 steps. Right? Like don't take yourself – it's not – like they say if it doesn't bother you, if you're not going to remember it in five years, don't let it bother you for more than five minutes. I think that's hilarious because lately – and I've put in posts on it. Everybody has been telling me how serious I've been.
• 45:22
  And I've been forgetting that I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm in the best time of my life. I am so fulfilled. But I'm focused on helping people. My whole goal for this Harder Than Life book that's coming out and the podcast that obviously you're listening to is to give back to charitable donations. One of them is – and I do have to spend a few minutes talking about the amazing charity that you spearhead about the Families Against Narconics. Would you –
• 45:47
  take a second and talk about that. Absolutely. And so Families Against Narcotics, it's been an organization that's been around since I got sober. And so it was an unfortunate passing of my little brother October 1st of 2007. And then 19 days later, Ryan Rudolph passed away. Heroin overdoses, both of them. And so these were both letter-wearing jackets from Frazier High School. They died 19 days apart. And so drugs and alcohol have been an issue. I mean, you grew up in Warren.
• 46:14
  And so it was like, why is this all of a sudden an issue? Because it started hitting white communities, right? And so let's call it for what it is. Families Against Narcotics has to do with changing the stigma and the dogma around the disease of addiction. And so you hear me publicly say all the time, I don't even know if it's a disease. I don't. It doesn't matter. All I know is we're changing the way because everybody is impacted and affected how and why the disease of addiction, it doesn't matter, it's affected people the entire time.
• 46:42
  And so we just want to change the way that is. And we're in I think there's like 16 different chapters and now we're going on the federal level and we're going to be also doing multiple states. So I'm just the treasurer. Well, a portion of what my goal here is I have a financial dollar figure in my head that I want to donate from the harder than life. And one of the charities we're going to donate is to that. So I love you very, very much. My father passed away from heroin.
• 47:06
  I didn't know that. That was the worst. I walked in at a very young age and watched my father shooting up, and it was life-changing. And his and my relationship was never the same. He's now deceased for many, many years, and there's not a day that it goes by that I don't think about him, probably much like your brother and your friend. And I'm sorry for that. Alcohol and drugs is just not the way. I'm coming up on my four years of alcohol and drug free. Congratulations, brother.
• 47:37
  I just went cold turkey. Everybody has their own way of doing it. Like, I just, this is the way I do anything. I've one extreme to the other. It's, I'm partying like a rock star, shut it off. It's, and I don't recommend it. I've actually got yelled at by some people that are big into the 12 steps. They're like, you're not alone. And I was like, hey, it worked. That's all that meant to do. What did they yell at you for? I did it alone.
• 47:59
  And I say that only because I did it through the pandemic. I went through the most difficult times completely alone, and I was. I had friends reaching out to me, but I didn't understand the feelings. So it wasn't easy, but you've said it through. I seek out the hard way. That's why it's harder than life. It's much like working out. You see me? I'm a big guy. I love when the body's sore, when my muscles are sore. That means I pushed it hard. So when I start getting nervous and I start getting anxious and I'm uncomfortable,
• 48:30
  That's growth.
• 48:30
  Yeah. That's when I'm like, this is fun. Let's lean into this. Yeah. I'm the biggest Buffalo. I'm going to go right through that, that storm and get through it quicker than to sit back and be scared. Yeah. Get to the pain. You know, I love it. So I, man, you talked about that early on though. You really did. You talked about it and it's, it's, it's in, in your success will be directly correlated with the comfortability that you have of being uncomfortable. It's just died. We're on here. We're good. And so, and so the uncomfortable of it.
• 49:01
  Yeah, I like, I am comfortable being uncomfortable. That's beautiful. I sat on an, it's well documented. I'm a pilot and I still get nervous in an airplane. Do you really? Yes, because, and I sit there the entire time and I do a meditation. Matras? And I do a, I borrow from everybody. Yeah, for sure. I do the Mel Robbins, you're safe, you're loved, you're okay. Because again, everything goes back to love for me. Mel's one of the best. I also know that
• 49:30
  I'm here for a reason. I joke around and say I'm chosen one because I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be alive. I've had guns in my head. I've been stabbed. I've been punched. I've been beat. I've been in every situation and I shouldn't be here. There's a reason I'm here.
• 49:42
  And I'm coming to leave a mark, a bigger mark than I've ever had. And people are going to know my name. And I'm going to help a lot of people. That's what this is about, to create awareness. Love it, brother. So besides the charity, you are CEO of Brickworks. Tell us how I can support you, how the listeners can support you.
• 50:02
  Yeah. I mean, you can, your listeners can reach out. The easiest way to connect to me is Instagram. I'm at Jeremiah underscore Campbell, uh, Instagram. You can connect to me on Facebook. So my wife and I do intimacy and, um, in couples coaching. And so we have a couples mastermind. We have a one-on-one coaching. So that's really where my heart is. My businesses are amazing. They're flourishing. They're growing. We do brick, block, and concrete in Southeast Michigan. Um, if you're looking for a no submit, it's looking for a job, whether it's an operation, sales, or installation, um,
• 50:31
  We're always hiring. We're always joining new staff on our team. Feel free to reach out to us in any way and give our podcast a listen. And it's called the Destin to Be Podcast. When are you going to write a book? Don't know. It hasn't been on my heart. Okay. Then don't do it. I did it and it spiraled me the opposite way. So I wrote the book just to get things off my chest and now it's pushed me into this podcast and who knows where we're going to go from there. So
• 50:56
  With us, it's harderthanlife.com. Love it. Kelly.Siegel.71 on Instagram. Come a visit. Come see what we're all about, what we're doing. I love you. Love you, brother. Thank you so much for coming. I really feel like the next time when I'm on your podcast, I want to deep dive into Mallory. The key behind this is a wonderful woman. You got a good one. She's amazing. I love her dearly as much as I love you. When I come to your home, you guys make me feel like I'm,
• 51:22
  I'm welcome. I love the kids running around like crazy. It's just you're winning. Thanks, brother. Appreciate it. Thank you for listening. Please rate and subscribe to Harder Than Life. And let's take this to the next level. Get connected at the links below.