Latest / Winning the Week With Scott Auld / Episode 48: Your Inner Circle Is a Garden - You Have to Weed It

Transcript

Episode 48: Your Inner Circle Is a Garden - You Have to Weed It · Winning the Week With Scott Auld

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  Does it ever feel like no matter how much rest you get your energy is always
• 0:04
  depleted? The problem isn't really your routine, the problem isn't really your
• 0:10
  routine. The problem is the social weeds that are in your circle of, of friends,
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  stealing your vital resources.
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  Pruning isn't cruel, it's H.I.T.
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  necessary maintenance. You have to learn how to identify these social
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  invaders
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  Invasive species,
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  you can actually flourish.
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  By
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  the way, my mission today is to try to locate and visit something called
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  the Apple Trail Nature Center.
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  I had never heard of it before, but my youngest son went to go.
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  He likes all kinds of outdoor stuff.
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  He really is into fishing a lot, and canoeing and hiking.
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  And he's really cool stuff.
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  So he told me about this place and I'm gonna see if I can find it and explore it
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  and see what it's like So that's my mission today That's the goal.
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  Hopefully hopefully we succeed.
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  I do have a little. Map here you guys ever draw a little and run to a place
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  and navigate to something instead of phone you know the problem with these kind
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  of maps is you don't have a little.
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  It tells you where you are but
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  I don't know,
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  there's something that just pleases me about having a hand- but it might be
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  necessary.
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  Well I found it, let's go explore it.
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  So I had this idea that you could kind of visualize your inner circle of friends
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  as a the flowers and plants in a garden.
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  And they're, they're all different, they all have different characteristics.
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  Some are extravagant and wild and crazy and some are just like a nice pretty
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  plant, subtle and muted, right?
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  Some of them go dormant for a little while, but they come back.
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  And some of them are just like constantly very outgoing, outgoing people, loud,
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  generous people.
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  But unfortunately,
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  just like in my garden,
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  sometimes there's,s an invasive species.
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  And you. Have to be able to recognize in your...
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  your circle of friends, your friends, when
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  Sometimes there's somebody that you're just gonna have to excuse them from you.
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  This is pretty neat. There's a board walk over here.
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  Let's go check this out.
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  So something that I learned that you have to do when you have a flower garden
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  something called. Dead heading and dead heading is when you I cut off
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  a flower head after its gone past its point of
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  I'd say usefulness but essentially past its point maximum
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  vibrance and beauty, right?
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  Because every single stem and every single branch and every single flower is
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  taking energy, you know, from the soil and there's only so much
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  energy to give and so if you if you dead head if you cut off and remove some.
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  Of the flower heads, you're actually...
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  Allowing more nutrients and more nutrients and more to get to the other
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  remaining
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  plants, heads, and plants, heads, and
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  You gotta
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  explain to them that this is what you're...
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  this is what you're noticing.
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  The Ameri-Gator.
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  Yeah, this is pretty cool here.
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  See, they've got canoes here.
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  I don't know if these are for rent or for rent.
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  I have. I do a little bit of reading and research to see.
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  But it looks like there's...
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  yeah, this. Yeah, this is pretty cool here.
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  See, they've got canoes here.
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  I don't know if these are for rent or for rent.
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  I have to do a little bit of reading and research to see.
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  But it looks like there's...
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  yeah, this is pretty cool here.
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  See, they've got canoes here.
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  I don't know if these are for rent or for rent.
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  I have to do a little bit of reading and research to see.
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  But it looks like there's pretty cool here.
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  Yeah, this is pretty cool out here.
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  I see they've got canoes here.
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  I don't know if these are for rent or for rent.
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  I don't know if these Told you guys about Wes before.
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  We were were Told
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  you
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  guys about West before. We were We were talking
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  There's a lot of things to
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  do.
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  They drain your bandwidth.
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  They drain your capacity.
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  Because they will take and take and take.
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  The video that I made most recently, my last video, was about two videos ago,
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  was about boundaries. I want to encourage you to go back and watch that video on
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  boundaries if you didn.t see the one.
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  Because this kind of ties into that.
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  You have to set boundaries on how much
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  you're going to be a giver for
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  people who
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  are just takers.
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  resource person selfishly demanding more and more of your time
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  your resource is your ability to give yeah
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  I'm gonna say this is a win highly recommended I'm not to tell you right
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  about
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  this place this is this is a win and that clear so one
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  thing they can happen with you know, toxic, overly demanding people as they can
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  make you start to feel like you're the victim.
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  You can't be the victim in this relationship or situation.
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  You have to think of yourself as a responsible gardener.
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  You're the responsible steward of your time, your energy.
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  How much you have to give.
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  And you have to...
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  I'm thinking of a responsible budget.
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  the resources
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  And you have something that you could give them.
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  You have the ability to help them.
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  Or when you run into somebody that you can actually help, you want to help them,
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  don't you? You don't want to be in a situation where,
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  you have nothing left in the empty gas tank to give, right?
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  You know, I first started growing some really nice flowers.
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  I felt a little bit guilty to cut off a flower head.
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  And then I was listening to...
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  I think it was a podcast and this lady was saying that she decided when to trim
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  a flower when she would look at it and in her mind it would be no longer pretty
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  enough or healthy enough to sell in a flower shop.
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  Once something started to curl up you think oh there's this flower still got
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  another week on it. Still going to be a week on it.
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  But once it reaches the point where you would no longer sell this flower in a
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  flower shop
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  Well then it's time to deadhead it, because you've got some buds and some
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  blooms
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  that are on their way and you want to give them the energy so they can be bigger
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  and more beautiful.
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  There's three couples out here, and then there's your boy Scotty out here all by
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  him. Because you don't sell friends in stores Scott.
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  Come on. You don't sell friends in stores What's
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  up guys? I? See alligators here It's the middle of the day.
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  Huh?
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  When they're no longer presentable as part of your circle part of your friends
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  when you find yourself apologizing to people for their behavior And I said,
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  they're bringing people down at a faster rate than you can encourage and bring
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  other people up It's time to have a talk with that person
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  Time to set some
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  you just have to come to the conclusion that their
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  behavior is their decision and you did what you could.
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  implementation of my deadheading strategy with your friends.
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  To you, I'm going to trust you to implement the correct boundaries that you
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  need. Everybody's different.
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  The way that you might have more energy to give than I do or less.
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  And so you may have a longer period of time you can put up with the
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  energy suckers. Or maybe you have a lot less time you can devote to these energy
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  suckers and you may have to excuse them from your company a lot sooner.
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  But it's really, that's really up to you.
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  I'm going to leave that to you.
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  It's of course, it goes almost with the last ditch effort.
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  It's the last move you make after trying everything else.
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  Obviously you want to talk to people and explain to people
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  what's going on. So.
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  Hopefully you talk to somebody and they change and then you don't have to Take a
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  drastic action, but at some point for your own survival For your own
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  survival you might have to do a new time talking about here Well, listen, if
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  anything here may come to you or if you just want to talk about it more I do a
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  live stream on a Wednesday at 8 p.m.
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  Eastern right here at
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  Maybe this week we can talk about this, talk about this concept, because I think
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  it's, it would be really easy to misunderstand what I'm saying and think
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  I'm
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  saying ditch your friends as, you know, at every opportunity.
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  I'm not saying that. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't be patient with
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  people.
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  We have to be patient with people and what I'm talking about is.
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  When all else fails, right?
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  Um, things. when you recognize that
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  they're
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  not. We call it hanging out at the cool kids table.
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  You are welcome at the cool kids table.
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  I got a spot for you.
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  Come on over and have a seat with us.
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  Have a seat with us. Come on over and have a seat with us.
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  Come on over and have a seat with us.
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  Come
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  Met each other in the chat and gone on to become friends outside
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  of the comment section.
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  Wednesday night 8 p.m. I'll see you there.
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  Other than that, this uh nature preserve outstanding, the
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  uh chapel trail nature. I
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  there
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  must have been a trail here you know 100 years ago when the first early settlers
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  came Maybe there was a trail that led to a chapel.
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  It's kind of funny to think about where these names come from.
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  All right, well, thanks for coming along with me here here to explore this
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  pretty cool nature center that my son found.
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  I'm gonna have to let him know that he was right about this one.
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  This is
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  This is more for my benefit than it is for yours.
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  This is one of those things that sometimes I just need to talk it out, chew on
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  it, and process it myself.
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  And you just get to come along for the ride.
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  I'm kind of interested in what the comment section on this one's going to be
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  like. I have a feeling there may be a little bit of misunderstanding.
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  I hope you guys are hearing my heart on this.
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  But there might be some
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  Some pushback on this one and if there is I want to hear it if you think I want
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  bass or you think You think not Scott not this time.
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  I want to hear about it in the comments I want to hear what you have to say
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  about it this time So from Chapel Trail
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  Nature Preserve in. Pembroke Pines This is your friend Scotty signing off
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  Let me know what you think down in the comments, and I'll see you in the next
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  video and
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  Don't do anything I wouldn't do