Latest / The Action Catalyst / REMASTERED: Repairing Broken Relationships, with Ron Alford and Josh Hudson (Sales, Responsibility, Coaching, Accountability)

Transcript

REMASTERED: Repairing Broken Relationships, with Ron Alford and Josh Hudson (Sales, Responsibility, Coaching, Accountability) · The Action Catalyst

• 0:31
  Host: I'm so excited and honored to bring you the story today of a man named Josh Hudson, and he's the owner of Hudson's Furniture down in Sanford, Florida, and he has been working with Ron Alford, elite level coach, and they've been together for a couple years. And Josh has a pretty incredible story. So Josh, welcome to the show.
• 0:53
  Josh Hudson: Hey, thanks for having me here. I'm excited to be on the show.
• 0:55
  Host: Yeah, well, so give us a little bit of background, just about yourself and your business, just kind of like, you know, a little overview, so that people are listening. They kind of know, you know, exactly, what business are you in? You know, how many team members do you have? Who do you serve? How long you been doing it, that kind of thing.
• 1:12
  Josh Hudson: All right, yeah, well, I'm in a family business, like we said. So I think you kind of, when you're in a family business, you don't know when you started because you've been in it your whole life. But we're in the furniture business, and we have 350 employees, 17 locations here in Central Florida. And I'm also a father of four and a husband, but yeah, I've been in the business in an executive role now for eight years.
• 1:41
  Host: And how did you first hear about Southwestern Consulting?
• 1:45
  Josh Hudson: My first introduction was your podcast really got so much out of it and enjoyed it. And I thought, you know, had the confidence to say, All right, let's let me, let me look at the coaching thing. So that's, that's how the party started.
• 1:58
  Host: So, Ron, what were your first impressions? So, like, when you very first met Josh, what did you sort of first think when you when you guys first connected?
• 2:05
  Ron Alford: Yeah, so funny. This morning, I was reading back through all of my notes with Josh, and it's just going back to that first call I and I get goosebumps in this stuff. I might be a weirdo, but I I just remember literally being like, Man, this is why I do what I do, and just that connection and hearing, first of all, just hearing Josh's transparency. And, you know, on the exterior, does he really need coaching? He's running this huge companies. You know, you see the beautiful pictures of his family, and he's like this elite athlete and and then you have that first call, and you realize, man, he's just a he's a human. He's someone that's just trying to be better. And I just, I love that about Josh, just his his humility and his desire to grow and serve and be better for his family, you know, for for God, obviously, and to live out the calling that he's he's been put here to do, and so that's the part I love. And just this, this whole journey, has been so
• 2:54
  raw and open and real, and it's, it's, it's neat. I can even look back through our text threads, and I've never met Josh. We're 3000 miles apart, but you feel like, I feel like I've somehow, some way, kind of lived a little bit of his life with him, and it's just so neat that he's been willing to share and been willing to work on things. And, yeah, he's just, he's trying to be better, and that's something I admire to the nth degree.
• 3:15
  Host: So Josh, so tell us this, tell us a little bit about the story like, so what were some of the biggest challenges or the struggles that were going on in your life. I mean, give us a little bit of the background, what was really going on behind the scenes.
• 3:26
  Josh Hudson: I guess, you know, when I first talked to Ron, like he has such a presence about him, I could tell, like his such a strong faith and where he was coming from, that it instantly let me let down my guard. And I was like, look, I mean, we got to the meat of things quickly, but, you know, we've worked on, I think, everything. But you know, for me, I have a I have a twin brother, and I have a father, and my dad started this business 36 years ago, and you know, we've transitioned over to myself and my brother, and you know, these key relationships, you know, I'm a brother, he's a partner. I have a dad. He's a father, yet he's, you know, yeah, he's, you know, he's getting out of the business. And, you know, people understanding where their roles are, not navigating this stuff is really, really, really messy, and it's so emotional, too. And, you know, I think there were just so many times where, you know, I needed that lifeline, and I needed the perspective, and I needed to
• 4:24
  see things differently. I mean, I could not navigate those relationships strictly on my own. I knew I needed help, but finding someone to help me with them was difficult. And, you know, and then I think that's really where the heart of the work with with Ron and I took place. I mean, I would tell you that I've learned a big part of it was me, but the strain was generally, you know, from the fact of I'll see things a certain way and the way they need to go. And I'm very, I very much believe in my own ideas. I would typically just want to charge ahead. And I. Wouldn't really give, you know, like, say, my brother or my dad the right amount of time or respect that really they deserve to really try to understand where they were coming from if they wanted to navigate a situation a certain way. So, you know, I think it happens a lot in our key relationships, like we just credit someone to being wrong, and then we think, well, that person's wrong. How can we fix them? How can
• 5:23
  we expose them the right way, or what they need to be doing when, really, I mean, you're in a bad place when you're looking at these key partners that way, because, you know, they might be perceiving you, that their external answers to you might the situation may be deeper than that, you know. So he may be saying, No, I don't want to go in that direction, but the real thing is, is like, you know, it's deeper than that. It's maybe like, hey, you know, I want to fix this part of my relationship with you, and this is just what I'm doing now. But it may not be the real the real problem, if that makes sense. So there was a lot of things where I was just missing that perspective. And I think having Ron just challenged me to look back at myself and take some ownership of it and maybe even slow down in some cases, that was really, really key for me. You know, it wasn't for me like that light switch moment. I think it was more the progression of the
• 6:15
  calls with Ron. And, you know, there were just always situations where he was asking me, you know, how, how can you influence this? How can this change for you? And then sometimes it would even come down to Ron. Was like, you know, Josh, sometimes we just need to pray about just accepting things, you know, and not just getting consumed with it, like, and pausing. So it was all this stuff, all put together that really helped me navigate it. But I didn't, I don't think I really had a moment, but I definitely learned how to look in and realize that, you know, you really are in control. And you know, the way that you're interacting with your family, you know, is is critical in a business role and in a family role. And you know, I think there were times where I was just charging too hard and everything was strictly about growing the business and improving the business when, you know, people just don't not everyone works that way. My brother, you know, I have a twin brother. He's a
• 7:09
  paternal twin. He's an awesome guy, and he but we are very different people. I'm not wrong, he's not wrong, I'm not right, he's not right. We're different people, and I've learned to come to that place where I really put a lot of emphasis on me to ask questions about, hey, you know, why is why is this going this way? Why are we not interacting? Well, is it something I'm doing? And there have been a lot of answers there where you're right, I've learned that, you know, I was a jerk.
• 7:38
  Host: So Ron, so did you kind of assess the situation and say, like, were there some indicators that you said, oh, you know, actually, I think there's some things going on here that Josh needs to look at. Or did you more just ask questions or like...
• 7:53
  Ron Alford: Yeah, so I just, my whole attitude is the more I can seek to understand and listen. And thankfully, like Josh said, we had a good rhythm quickly that first couple calls, I felt like, wow, I can, you know, I can really identify and live into his world. And then you start noticing recurring themes. And it wasn't just with Josh, or it wasn't just with his twin brother or his dad or but just because he's a human just recurring themes of outside things that we're we're getting to him. And so that's the part where we had a good mix, a good balance, of working on tactical things and working on his schedule and delegating and leadership stuff and, you know, real raw, kind of meaty topics. And then like, hey, let's drop that for a minute. Let's do, there's some stuff going, you know, and let's talk about this. Let's flush it out. Just allow him to vent. Allow him to the stuff we all need. But I think hearing those recurring themes a little bit was what kind of clued in
• 8:45
  to just, man, this is something that can hold hold us back from being because Josh is such a good dad, such a good husband, such a good manager. But it's like, I know he wants to be the best at all, at everything, and to me, I'm always thinking big picture. Man, we're building a life like everybody always thinks about quarterly revenue and this month, this year, this whatever, but we're all going to look back. I mean to me, I'm sitting here listening to Josh. This guy has forever ahead of him, and he's already accomplished more than 99.99 but yet his you know, as we all know, our strengths can be sometimes the challenges as well. And for him, pushing hard, expecting great things, just a perfectionist in a lot of ways, and really wanting to live out every ounce of what God's given him, who wouldn't admire that, and want to be like that. And then at the same time, you can see how that can get destructive if there's not a if there's not a way to release it a little bit. So for us, it
• 9:39
  was just kind of pull. Just kind of pulling back a little bit and trying to find those times to breathe a little bit and say it's okay, like sometimes the definition of abundance is just everything I have right now is plenty. It's a hard thing to capture, because we're in the business of driving revenue and getting more results. For someone, Josh didn't get into coaching to Kumbaya, the. There's got to be that balance, because we're thinking about decades ahead, not just some sort of superficial calendar deadline.
• 10:06
  Host: Right. Josh, like, coming back to you, what did you do here?
• 10:11
  Josh Hudson: Well, I think, you know, Ron, like, had me on a pretty clear path, you know. Like, from the beginning, you know, it was like, Hey, we, you know, I want to hear what is the priority for you, you know. And we just the simple vision board. And then he would start to learn these things about me and and get me to slow down and prioritize some of the big issues, which meant getting them on my calendar. And, you know, I'd even talk to him just, I feel like my marriage has gotten so much better as a result of this, you know, like Ron was saying, I just, you know, may you know, probably perfectionist is the right word. And you know, learning to, you know, like when you know, learning to my priority sometimes, as a as a husband, you know, needs to be run way, way, way different than my priorities in business, and was I really focusing on those things? And, you know, I think he brought so much of that to light. But mainly, you know, we would strategize on some of these, some
• 11:04
  of these strained relationships, and so we'd know we'd have key dates coming up, like, let's say, where, you know, I was going to be on a trip, say, with either my key team members or, you know, my brother, my dad, and he would, he would say, hey, you know, well, here's the goal for when we're there, and this is what we need to be thinking need to be thinking about. And we would plan it and write it down, and it would roll through my mind so much before these things would happen. And I would, you know, I would come up with these creative solutions, whereas I know that if, if that wasn't taking place, I would have just charged through, you know, and been looking and missed so many things, you know, it, it really helped slow me down in some ways, if that makes sense.
• 11:45
  Ron Alford: Yeah, so I think Josh is, when you're running so strong and so purposeful, like he, you know, Josh has got fire going on inside of him, and that's where I could relate to, the beauty of this, by the way, is as a young dad and and that kind of interior mode drive. And I think we related well. But I think a lot of the things we worked on at first was aligning his vision, like, if this is why you were put on this earth, crystal clear, what does that look like? Like? I know you've got this company goal and all this stuff that you were, you know, but, but let's go deeper. Would it and then, and then tracking CSF, tracking his calendar to where they're aligned. Does your calendar represent the things in your life that really matter? Are you taking time to slow down? And if you want to really be a leader of men, a leader of humans, you know, are you leading them in life, not just in business? And, of course, as a dad, you know, the example that we set for our kids, so we
• 12:35
  talked a lot about his relationship with his dad, which, you know, and then, and then, let's flip that. How, what's it going to be like? Let's say we were coaching your kids 30 years from now, what are they going to say about you? Those deeper topics. And then through that, just, of course, how we deal with, I mean, he's got a lot of people that report to him and look up to him, and they're led by Him. So of course, topics on how to confront the right way, how to recognize the right way, stuff that Josh is already naturally really good at. But, you know, we all, we're all growing.
• 13:04
  Host: So Josh, when you talk about the relationships, did you run into roadblocks and challenges once you made this decision that you needed to do some repair?
• 13:14
  Josh Hudson: Oh yes, yes and yes, you know. I mean, I, I did a lot of damage. You know, I would say, you know, I mean, it makes me sound like a bad person, but I did, I mean, and I did a lot of damage over a lot of years, and I don't think that gets undone quickly at all. In fact, I think it takes way longer to undo it than it does to create it. And so, you know, I'm just still very aware, and you know, it's just helped me, like, I know that if it's not, if it's not getting better, at this point, I know it's something I'm doing and I'm and I'm taking ownership of that, as opposed to looking at it differently, like it's not my problem.
• 13:51
  Ron Alford: If I had to say one word, it's acceptance. I think it almost felt like okay now that these relationships have been repaired. And in honesty, it's like they may never be perfect, or any of this may never be perfect, but, but Josh, how much more enjoyable is it to be around someone, whether it's a family member or a business partner or whatever, when they're just, you know, they're they're peaceful, they they're driving. They want to be better. And I think seeing Josh kind of accept what is and be okay with that, and feel like he doesn't have to, or maybe, maybe isn't able to change everyone else, but yet not have to do it and be okay with that. I think that's that turning that corner and feeling like, like he's he's really embracing that, I feel like, is where, you know, a lot of the a lot of the joy has come, and where he said, it's impacted his marriage, and I got to think that's impacted how he has more empathy with the people works with, and just the
• 14:44
  ripple effect is crazy, because when we're trying to control things, we're trying to trying to move mountains that just maybe aren't movable in this moment. Boy, you just you push, you press, and everybody sees it. I think he I think that's been a big turning point.
• 14:58
  Josh Hudson: I think Ron is spot on with like, where that whole turn came to me. I think he would listen to me sometimes, and I would probably, like, just rapid fire explode, sort of throw up on him. And it would be like, Man, he's like, you know, think about where we are. Think about the goals you set forth. You're achieving. So many of them, you know, you need to breathe here. And we need to, we need to think about that, and it was like, it was big for me. It was definitely I had a moment there. I'm like, Yeah, you know what I do, and it's not so bad. And just because, you know, you're not hitting that next thing or, you know, it's still really great, and we still need to be really appreciative. And it just changed me a little bit to come at things like that and to slow down. And, you know, what are our expectations? My expectations, my expectations are just my expectations. They they're not the standard for the universe with which other people can be judged.
• 15:51
  So I kind of had to have that moment and just not take myself so seriously and slow down and appreciate and I think that, you know, I'm still working on them in a big way, but I think that that has been a big turning factor for me through this whole coaching program.
• 16:06
  Host: For you personally, what do you think is the number one thing that's come out of coaching? The number one thing that I've gotten from coaching, what would you how would you answer that?
• 16:14
  Josh Hudson: I would say to question yourself. You know, I think that that's been the number one thing that's come out of it, for me is, how many people are you going to meet in your life that you're going to feel like they're just partnering with you to try to make you better and to totally open the door to let them question everything about the way you're doing things. And you know that that is never going to leave me at this point, is how critical that is to to to open that door and let someone else in and really question everything about about yourself and your goals and how you're trying to get there.
• 16:48
  Host: So let's flip roles for a second. So Ron, what have you learned from Josh?
• 16:52
  Ron Alford: Probably the biggest was just perspective. Again, like to me, get getting and that's why I love to have this job, is I get to I get to watch from a distance people go through struggles, and so to see, see someone like Josh, and also what's what's possible with time, like one thing that he's done that's been so like, he's running this company, and dad of four, and all the things we've talked about, and yet he'll talk about changes he's made with where people are running his email and doing so much. I mean, he said he is a master delegator, and does a great job with his his minutes. He'll, he'll have free time. He shows up on our calls and he's, he's ready, like he's on the call a minute before I am, and he's calm and cool, and there's no distractions. And I have, I have clients, obviously, they kind of come rushed into the call. And so I think seeing that from a distance, seeing someone that at his age and with the amount of things he's got on his plate, and what time he
• 17:41
  wakes up every morning, and you know, the things he gets done where he's still calm and present, and we've never really had a coaching call where he's, I've felt like he's distracted, or he's in another place, like, I admire that and that that's something for me, I'm trying to get better at all the time, is being present and just, you know, really being In the moment. And that's something I get from just something I get from Josh every time I talk to him.
• 18:04
  Host: All right, last question, this one's for you, Josh, if there was somebody out there that's listening, what advice would you give to that person, knowing that it is, it is a difficult journey and it, you know, does, it's not really one, as you said, that you ever like, reached the finish line with, what would you tell that person?
• 18:20
  Josh Hudson: Well, I would, I'm, I'm big on keeping things simple, and so I would, I would just say that you know your own thoughts and your own actions have landed you and whatever situation you're in, and to think that your own thoughts and your own actions, without any pouring in from someone else, are going to get you out of that place. It doesn't even make sense to say it out loud. So you know, you've gonna have to lean in with someone else. You're gonna have to even talk through these sort of things. I mean, you know, yeah, you can read a book and maybe try to dig yourself out of it, but you know, there's nothing that beats like a one on one relationship with a person that their whole goal is just to try to help you and make you better. And so you know your own thoughts got you there, and they're not going to get you out on your own, is what I would tell
• 19:07
  Host: Well, Ron, Josh, your story is going to impact a lot of people out there, so thank you.
• 19:14
  Josh Hudson: No problem. I appreciate it. Thanks for having me on and for all you do out there for the listeners.
• 19:18
  Ron Alford: Yeah, agreed. Thanks for sharing this message. Josh, thanks for partnering, brother.
• 19:22
  Josh Hudson: Yep, enjoyed it, Ron.