Latest / Harder Than Life / 116: Summer Camps and Life Lessons w/ Rabbi Josh Bennett

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116: Summer Camps and Life Lessons w/ Rabbi Josh Bennett · Harder Than Life

• 0:07
  I'm Kelly Siegel, and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living.
• 0:22
  Today I'm thrilled to welcome Rabbi Josh Bennett, podcast host of Waking Up to Life, also a beloved spiritual leader from Temple Israel in West Bloomfield, Michigan. Known for his deep commitment to community, Rabbi Josh leads impactful initiatives like the Fresh Pantry and Project Healthy Community, supporting those in need and fostering connection. He's a passionate educator and a mentor.
• 0:46
  advocate for inclusive Judaism, and above all, a devoted husband and father. Rabbi Josh, welcome to the Harder Than Life podcast. So glad to be here. It's a great day, a little bit rainy outside, but happy to be inside with you, warm and toasted, getting ready to talk. Yeah, we're live and in studio, so it's freaking fun. I love these...
• 1:03
  live ones or just to have a different feel for them. I was just, we did what they call a home and home podcast. I did yours at the synagogue and then you're here at my home doing mine and we're going to have a little fun. So thanks for making the trek over here and let's have some fun. Perfect. I'm looking forward to it. I'll get it all started off with what inspired you to pursue a life of spiritual leadership?
• 1:24
  So I was raised in a Jewish home. I was active in Jewish youth group in my synagogue. My parents were active members of the Brotherhood and Sisterhood. And so they raised my family, my siblings and I, to care deeply about Judaism, to be involved in the community.
• 1:41
  But everything really changed for me when I went to summer camp. I went and became a camper first, and then I was a staff member. And what I saw were rabbis who weren't the old world style of rabbis. It was Jewish summer camp outside of Indianapolis called the Goldman Union Camp. And at that camp, I was playing softball with people who were cool and interesting. And for the first time in my life, I saw Judaism as a career path as opposed to just a spiritual path.
• 2:10
  I was at that time a political science major. I hated every single class that I took. Ultimately switched my major at the University of Illinois to psychology and the rest is history. I saw this as a potential for me to be a rabbi, a spiritual leader, and more than anything to fulfill my own goals of using Judaism as the map for morality and life.
• 2:33
  Where'd you grow up? Is that here in Illinois, here in Indiana? I actually grew up all through the Midwest. My father was a professor of pathology. I was born in Fort Worth, Texas, lived in Indianapolis, Kansas City. Ultimately, though, I call Chicago my home, the suburbs of Chicago. And yet you ended up in Detroit. Still trying to figure that out. You know, every time I go home to Chicago and see my friends, I say, what the heck did I end up in Detroit for? But actually, it's been an amazing place. The suburbs here are family friendly. It's been a great place to raise a family. And...
• 3:01
  I'm in the greatest job in the country as a rabbi. Being able to be one of the rabbis at Temple Israel has really been an incredible gift. How long have you been here? Because I've known you a long time. You've been here as long as I can remember. Just finished up my 30th year, starting my 31st year at Temple. Detroit is my home. I've lived here more than, I'm only 57, so I've lived here more than half my life. That's beautiful. Chicago is my favorite city in the world, pre-pandemic.
• 3:32
  So it's been a little sketchy through all the things, but we're going to, you know, we forgot to talk about this on your podcast. You know, we talk a lot about let go, let God, but, you know, united we stand, divided we fall. We are all one people, especially being Jews. We understand how it is to be sometimes looked at differently. But...
• 3:53
  Together we rise, divided we fall. That's why it's called the United States of America. This division, it's got to stop. So you are big in the social action community. That's why I keep getting drawn to you. So how, do you have a story that shaped your commitment to this social action?
• 4:09
  Yeah, some of it's a little bit happenstance. The first 18 years of my career, I was doing youth work. I was the youth rabbi at Temple Israel, taking kids to Israel, taking kids on ski trips, doing youth group programming. What I learned was that my kids didn't want me to be their youth group rabbi. So when my oldest child, Maddie, was about 12 or 13, she said to me, Dad, we don't want you to be our youth group rabbi. You got to change. So at that point, I sort of had a soul-searching moment trying to figure out what I wanted to do.
• 4:38
  And a natural next step was to get involved with social action. For Reform Movement Jews, we are based, our movement is based on the prophetic vision of Judaism, this idea that the prophets teach in the Bible of taking care of people, being there for people who need you, the homeless, the hungry, the widow. And as a result of that vision, that's really colored what Reform Judaism is in the world. So it was a natural next step for me to say, if I'm going to leave this youth world, which I loved.
• 5:07
  The next program area was to take all those kids who had grown up with me and to say, hey, how can we give back to the world? That was social action. And I sort of self-proclaimed my next phase of my career as a social action rabbi. And that's what I've been doing for the last few years. And it's been really fulfilling. Isn't that...
• 5:25
  what Judaism is all about, all inclusive, everybody's equal, everybody's one. And you know, isn't it in the Torah where we open the door and let whoever comes in, isn't that what's cool about Judaism? So there's a great teaching in what's called the Musar tradition.
• 5:41
  Musar in Judaism is sort of an esoteric, not so well-known movement in Judaism from the 1800s. One of the things that one of the rabbis taught was we should wake up every morning and put two little pieces of paper into our pockets. One that says the entire world was created for me, and the other one says I am but dust and ashes. And we're somewhere between that. We are from that very ego-driven part of our world where everything is about me and my world. And the other side is I have to only think about other people because I'm nothing. And I'm not going
• 6:10
  And I think that finding the balance between that, understanding that each individual human being is important, but the community is also important, that is really what Judaism is all about. How does pointing a finger at people create that division? Because I heard somewhere in between should be humility. And what we're doing is we're always pointing our finger, you're the problem. So, you know, we'll get into briefly the
• 6:37
  the conflict in Israel and how a lot of the Palestinian, we're in Michigan. So it's, we have the United nations right here. We're Dearborn, which is the, the, the highest Arab American population in the country. We have West Bloomfield, which has a very large Jewish population. We all get along. And so where does,
• 6:59
  Where does it come into play for humility so that we realize that when you're pointing a finger, you're actually creating divisiveness? I think it's a natural outcome of the world. We are all aligned with who we are, right? We think that we were raised in the right way, that our path is the right path.
• 7:16
  I think it takes some maturity to recognize that there are multiple paths to something bigger, that all of these religious traditions, all of these ideologies are really people trying to do what they believe is right in the world. That's hard when they're oppositional. It's hard when you don't believe in the other person's values.
• 7:34
  I really believe that the best is going to come when we start to understand that we are all pointing in the same direction, that we are all working on the same thing. And ultimately, isn't the goal to be good, to be human, to be bettering this world?
• 7:51
  believe everybody's, you see me look away because I'm deep thought, you're creating deep thought in me and I love this. I think you're the third or fourth spiritual leader I've had on the podcast. It was a pastor and Jesus, most people in the personal development, they really follow Jesus. And I always tell people, take the message and leave the rest or leave the mess. But that's a
• 8:18
  we're talking about someone as Jesus. And I believe I was just at an event where they converted five people to Christ followers. And I was right in the middle of it and didn't bother me. They did offend some people. I just think if you're easily offended, you wrote, you said this word perfectly maturity. You have to, this world needs more emotional intelligence, which leads to
• 8:45
  Hey, we all want everybody to be happy in this world. And if following Jesus makes you happy, great. If not following Jesus like us makes it, if being Muslim makes you happy, just don't hurt other people. But I want to push back a little bit because you said you were at an event with seekers, people who are trying to better themselves. And it was based in Jesus or based in Christianity. Yeah.
• 9:09
  I'm not sure it has to be based in Christianity. That's one path forward, and that may be good for some people, but I'll share with you something that has always bothered me in the interfaith world. You know, I spend a lot of time at meetings and programs with people from all sorts of different faiths, and one of the mistakes other faith leaders make is to assume that everybody's on the same page as them.
• 9:32
  And I'm not sure that we have to do that. So, for example, I go to a meeting, a minister or a pastor is offered the opportunity to pray at the beginning of the meeting, and they share their prayer in the name of Jesus. How does that make you feel?
• 9:51
  I'm okay with it because I'm pretty comfortable with who I am, but not everybody is okay with that. And I think that it goes both ways. On the one hand, I have to be mature and recognize that is his or her faith path, and I'm okay with him or her praying in that way.
• 10:07
  But maybe it also takes some depth of character for that person to take a look around the room and say, hey, this is a communal event and I have to recognize that my language matters. And maybe not everybody's going to be in tune with that Jesus language. So I'm going to step away from it. That's different if the event is a Christian event.
• 10:26
  where I have no problem with Christians leaning into Christianity in a Christian event. And if I'm attending that event, like you're suggesting, okay, I have to be mature and understand this isn't my place and I'm okay with what they're saying. But I think a lot of times we make the mistake of not seeing the room and not understanding that if we're going to be in this together, we have to find a way to not be in our own space and to see other people's space as well.
• 10:53
  I admire someone's authenticity. So I wasn't, let me back put a little bit and say I wasn't at a faith base. It's just the conversation just kept ending up on Jesus. So they figured, and I was the only Jew there for sure, they figured it was safe to do so. And it was. I'm not offended at all. I admire someone that is that faithful.
• 11:18
  loyal and that committed to something as long as it's positive. And I would tell you, Jesus is positive. If it was radical or something, I would have a problem with it. But no, at the very end, and it was funny, I had a conversation with the guy yesterday who had the event. He's like, man, there were a couple of people that were upset. I'm like, you know, the world will show you where you're not free. If something that
• 11:41
  hesitate to say that something that doesn't have really anything to do with you bothers you if it has something to do with you. Well, hold on. Let me, let me ask you a question. You go to a dinner party, you have dinner with somebody else. You tell them before the dinner party, I don't like green beans and you get to the dinner party. And that person who loves green beans, whose whole diet is based on green beans, serves you six different pieces of the dinner that include green beans.
• 12:07
  I don't think that's thoughtful. I don't think that's part of it. And so even though, yes, it's their home and yes, I'm mature enough just not to eat that dish and to pick and choose what I want to eat. I'm not sure that it's community to only do what is yours when you recognize there's somebody else out there that is in a different place or space.
• 12:28
  I agree with you. What I would say is let's, let's not go to that, to that extreme. And let's say they gave you one thing of one serving of green beans because they love green. No problem. I'm okay with that. I just pick it to the side, by the way, I love green beans, but I become fascinated. Then I go in and I lean in and say, okay,
• 12:47
  So tell me what's so great about green beans. Maybe I'm missing something. I am a sponge. And that's probably why what you said to me, by the way, was the highest compliment. I came home and told my daughter, he's like, this isn't the Kelly Siegel I've known. And I was very proud of that. So thank you for that. That's how I've become the next level. I've kind of shed and I've become curious.
• 13:09
  And I just am interested more than interesting. And I'm not worried about how I come across. I want to know about you. I think that's the key is that, again, it goes back to the maturity we were talking about earlier. If we are mature enough to see ourselves and not be offended by somebody else's path, people make mistakes. People do things that I may not be comfortable with.
• 13:29
  That's okay. But I would suggest it's okay also to ask questions and to say, hey, you know, that didn't make me comfortable. Maybe next time we can behave differently. And I think if we build together a path that is mutually respectful, ultimately that's going to make us all better.
• 13:46
  And how do we start it? We end up finding where we agree and working out. All too often in this world, we start from where we absolutely disagree and we start hating on each other. So if we could just find the middle ground and then work out, and then maybe we'd find very clearly that there's just a couple of things we don't agree on. Just a couple. Yeah.
• 14:07
  like Democrats and Republicans. It's equal distribution of wealth and then the trickle-down wealth. But I get it. I invite people to just be fascinated by the other side. I have, I'm not a big Gretchen Whitmer fan. She's not my favorite, but I bought her book and I read her book and I got to know her. I'm like, hmm.
• 14:26
  there's a lot we agree on. There's a lot we don't, but I respect her as a woman. We're going to get a lot of Gretchen Whitmer in the next election. So I'm excited to see what she does. I'm proud of her for being a strong woman, but I leaned into it. That's all I was trying to say. I always lead by example. And I really think, I'm going back to what I was taught by my parents. My father was a devout Democrat. All of his friends were Republicans. Yeah.
• 14:55
  they got together and talked and shared ideas and respected one another. It didn't, you know, today people can't be friends with somebody on the other side of the political realm. To me, that is a terrible, terrible place that we've gone as a country. Well, they can. We just, we see the algorithms of social media show us otherwise because that keeps you on the platform. People either realize it's just this microcosm of the world.
• 15:19
  Social media is meant to keep you on. You are the product. Anything that's free, you're the product. And we're in this echo chamber, right? Everybody, we're only seeing what we believe in. That's how it keeps you on. So I do a little bit of experiment every week. I listen to both Fox News and CNN in my car when I'm driving.
• 15:40
  They're two different worlds. Now imagine if you only lived in one or the other world, you have no idea what's happening in the other side of the echo chamber. And you think you're right because you're served up the same stuff. So I do that. That's, that's, it's so, it's ironic that you say that I literally, during every election, every
• 15:57
  political thing. I flip between the two as well. I want to hear the different sides. And I love that each one now invites somebody else. Like the CNN will have a Republican. They don't do a great job. No, they don't. They pick the right person that they want to pick on. But, you know, I think it's bigger than that. I think we all need to invite into our lives. I tell people, take somebody else's phone, look at what they're following on their social media and add that to your phone.
• 16:23
  Just change the way your algorithm's working. I want to know what you're interested in. I know what I'm interested in. I just pick up Twitter or Instagram and I know what I'm interested in because that's the only thing fed to me. I add a few things every day because that changes my algorithm and I start to see a more centered world. You're interested in some beautiful things. And I want to get into that a little bit is recently we brought the national technology management team to volunteer at Temple and we
• 16:51
  fed 200 and some families and it was beautiful. We worked as a team and it's called Fresh Pantry. So how does your work with Fresh Pantry reflect your vision for the community? When we started what we call the Free Fresh Pantry at Temple Israel, the idea was nobody believed there were people who were in need in our community. Yeah, of course, in Detroit, of course, in other parts, those people are the ones who need our help.
• 17:18
  What I learned by some work that I was doing with Forgotten Harvest was that there are people who need our help everywhere in our backyards. We started off the very first week and there were 30 families that showed up, most of them from Pontiac, from Kegel Harbor, not in the in the West Bloomfield area right around Temple Israel.
• 17:36
  Within about six months, we had grown those 30 families to about 150 families. That went up to about 350 families during COVID. These were people who previously had jobs, who owned homes, but were food insecure. They didn't know that they would have enough money to put groceries on the table for their families. And these are our neighbors, people who are hiding in their homes because they don't want to be known as the person that can't buy food.
• 18:02
  What we have come to understand is that all around us, there are people in need and there's enough food. There's just a challenge to get the food to them. And so we're bringing food to people in a thoughtful and comfortable way. They don't have to get out of their cars. They don't have to be embarrassed and sign up as publicly so that people don't know who they are. They come in, they receive food, they leave, they go home every other week.
• 18:27
  It's really changed the dynamic of understanding what is going on. Now, I'll tell you a quick story about this. Sometimes it's challenging. A volunteer comes and says, I just, that was Alexis that just drove in here with Lululemon bags in the trunk. What am I putting food into that trunk? And I have to pull that volunteer aside and say, you have no idea what the real story is. Mm-hmm.
• 18:49
  You don't know that that person just lost their job. You don't know that that car was given to them by a grandparent who just died. You have no idea what their story is. And I don't want to judge. Well, I gave you the book, The Four Agreements. And it says don't make assumptions. Don't make assumptions. It literally, and what does any of it have to do with anything? Even if.
• 19:10
  They're wealthy and can make, and this is what they feel like they need to do. This is what you do. You just give. You just give. Keep giving and do good because the law of reciprocity, just the law of the secret, you know, keep giving and you'll receive. Yeah.
• 19:27
  I think it's hard, though, because, you know, our world doesn't always work that way. Things don't just come our way. We have to create what is in our world. I agree with you. I need to just keep giving and hopefully good things will happen to me. It's hard when people are facing challenge and the good doesn't come immediately.
• 19:46
  There's a little bit of patience, a little bit of grace you have to give in the world. So it's not always as easy as just what the phrase says. It isn't, Josh. And I tell you what it is. What happens is there's no other room in people's lives. So you have to clear and make space for the goodness. You're still so full and busy of all the negativity. Yeah.
• 20:08
  you got to clear some of that negativity out. So there is, it's creates a vacuum. And if you don't change your mindset and your environment, that vacuum that you create will fill itself back up with negativity. So you got to, it's, it's the craziest thing. And it just keeps happening. We talked about on your podcast. It's just, once I made all the, cleared all the,
• 20:28
  bad negativity out of my life. I had to take a little sacred pause. I didn't do anything. And I just sat here and it's funny, this happened during the pandemic. So I really didn't have anything to do. So it was like, God really aligned and said, man, we're going to make it so easy, but not easy because I was alone. But we're not going to give you any temptation because we're preparing you for something massive, which is the heart of the life brand. And I took that sacred pause and then said, okay, had a conversation with God.
• 20:58
  God told me that it showed me the path and I allowed, that's the biggest thing you got to allow to create space and then allow to all too often. I was trying to meet resistance with resistance and pushing, pushing, pushing and grinding, why is it not coming? Why is it not coming? The second, I didn't worry about the outcome, married the process, divorced the outcome, created space and surrendered. Ooh, things just keep happening. I think I just gave away your, your secret. Let's keep talking about, um,
• 21:26
  about charity because I don't know what it is about Judaism, but I think it's just everybody. We've seen some really good things happen during the pandemic, post-pandemic. People really do care and do want to help each other out. So you have this Project Healthy Community. So what impact do you hope this Project Healthy Community will have on Detroit?
• 21:48
  So first of all, I want to give credit where credit is due. Project Healthy Community is the brainchild of my dear friend, Dr. Mel Rubinfire, who heard a sermon that I gave many, many years ago, inspired him to go into the city of Detroit and ask how he could make a difference.
• 22:04
  Mel turned this vision into a full-fledged organization that's now functioning outside of Temple Israel. Originally, it was sort of a project of Temple Israel. It's now outside of Temple Israel. It's its own 501c3 organization. They are doing incredible work in the city. What's the website so that people can go to it? It's projecthealthycommunity.org. And Project Healthy Community is an incredible organization
• 22:30
  offering to members of the community in Detroit in the areas of health and wellness. So Dr. Ruben Fyre, who is a cardiologist, saw this vision of helping people understand how what they eat, how they behave can change the way they live.
• 22:50
  The work that they're doing, the work that we've done with them has been incredible over the years. Not only did they start a food pantry in Detroit, but now they're working in tandem with students from Wayne State University to give health care to people in the city who are unable to get their own access to health care. The things that they're doing are changing people's lives one at a time. But what I think you're ultimately getting to is this idea that giving back to the world
• 23:19
  is our gateway to something better. And look, I think that Judaism is a religion that has steeped itself in charity, but not just Judaism. Almost every religion of the world has charity as one of the most important tenets of the religion. The question is, how do we do it? What is the way that we can be selfless
• 23:41
  and give back to the world. And ultimately, as you said, if you do that, what comes back to you is amazing. Well, ultimate life hack, and I've said it over and over, I'm gonna just shout it from the rafters. You ever sad or feel bad? Go do community service, and you will instantly feel better because there's always somebody in a worse off situation than you are.
• 24:05
  whether it's go and there's availability anywhere. I mean, we just came and divvied up food and you should have seen everybody was overjoyed. When we let our customers know that we were going to be closed for the afternoon to do this, nobody cared.
• 24:20
  Not one. They're happy about it. Yeah. Actually, there's an amazing thing I just learned called the Benjamin Franklin effect. You can look it up. The concept of the Benjamin Franklin effect is the idea that when you do, when somebody does something good for you, they actually like you better. There's been scientific studies about this. So think about it. If we do things for other people,
• 24:41
  We like those people more. Imagine what this could do to the world. If we found a way to make people do things for other people, it would inspire people to like each other more. That's what's missing from the world. I think it's funny, Benjamin Franklin, because that's what's on the $100 bill. So I'm like, oh, if you give me $100, I love it. So I'm going to deviate from the questions for a minute. Something just popped in my head and I don't know where it came from. If you could be unfiltered,
• 25:09
  and give a sermon about anything that wouldn't have any repercussions that temple wouldn't frown upon or that wouldn't upset anybody, what would it be on?
• 25:19
  Wow, that is a challenging question. I have a list of sermons that I'll give on the last day of my career because they'll be the last day of my career when I give the sermon. I can't tell you what those are. But if I really think deeply about what matters most to me in the world, it is about being authentic. To me, we are missing a level of authenticity in the world.
• 25:46
  So if I could give a sermon that would inspire people to live up to their own truth, to honor their own truth, and to be respectful of others while doing it, that sermon would be awesome. I don't know, that's a hard sermon to give, right? It's a tough nut to crack to find what the meaning of authenticity really is. But I believe that ultimately all of us were created in the image of God.
• 26:11
  Bethelom Elohim in Hebrew, if we're all created in the image of God and we can access that authentic core of who we are, this is a way better world to live in. So we talked about it on your podcast. So I believe we're born in the image and likeness of God. And then we get all these filters and all these habits and rituals to survive, these survival skills.
• 26:42
  And then hopefully you become enlightened and you de-armor all that. And then you become back to what you were born. So that person you are in the middle, who's tough and rugged, who's there for survival or thriving,
• 27:01
  if you say that's authentic, that's, so I believe, talk a little bit about true authenticity of your being, not who you're doing or acting for survival. Yeah, so I, I'm really struggling with this idea and I'm trying to figure out where the problem has come from. And I,
• 27:22
  Recently, I've been thinking about something that I sort of go back to in my mind. You remember when we were kids, you would watch television. First of all, you'd have to get up and go to the television and turn the channel. And you only had three or four channels that you could choose from.
• 27:40
  That was a simpler way of living. I'm not anti-technology. I think that technology is great. What we're doing on podcasts is incredible. Technology in the world is incredible. But I think we've gotten to a place in the world where there are too many choices. You go to the grocery store and you're not picking from one cereal box. You're picking from 70 cereal boxes.
• 28:05
  And what's happening, if you think of it, is all those choices are raising anxieties. They're raising challenges in our own life. You have to find out more about who you are. And then you align with one particular choice. I just think there's too many options out there. And if we could simplify things,
• 28:23
  we'd get back to something more basic that would, I think, be better for all of us. And if you take that out of the grocery store model and move it into our own personal life, if we could just strip off some of that excess anxiety, excess stuff that we are all picking between, ultimately, we're going to be better. You said problem. I'm going to say puzzle. And I got a potential solution for you. And it's a lot harder than I'm going to make it sound.
• 28:51
  It is living in a world of gratitude for what you have and in today, in the moment. Because yesterday is a mystery or history. Tomorrow is a mystery. All we have is today. And if we just maximize our day and live in gratitude, good things will happen. So you kind of don't think about all the choices or all the things that you have to do. Now, I say that.
• 29:16
  is the hardest thing for me in the world to do because I'm so I got to go win. I got to kill this podcast. I got to go shoot content. I got to grow, grow. And, and because society says me. So when I sat back and I use my own,
• 29:30
  a solution on myself. I say, why do I have to do all that? I don't. I just have to enjoy your company. Whatever happens next, happens next. I want to have a deep conversation that the Heart of the Life listeners and the Segal supporters love and enjoy and get to see what Judaism is all about and what just being authentic and genuine is.
• 29:50
  and go from there, I don't have to worry about what comes next. You said it, it's harder than it sounds. It is. Right, yes, let's be grateful for what's on our lives. That is really powerful, but Kelly, how do you say that to the person who is a drug abuser on the edge of the ground, who's on the edge of their lives,
• 30:11
  That's a hard thing to say. Just be grateful for what's in your life. Now, I know it works. And I know that it's the core of a lot of Christian thought. It's the core of a lot of the 12-step programs. But it's not easy when you're unable to see beyond. Yeah. I will tell you, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. So if the
• 30:34
  Drug user can't see that. We get to the first issue and we fix, you know, why are you? I've been there. I did drugs to fit in and I thought it was cool. And then when I realized I really love myself, I don't need to fit in. I don't want to fit in. So if I did it, that's the heart of the life mantra is all about. If I did it, anybody can do it.
• 30:55
  And it's all about everything you need. You can supply yourself inside. But I want to tell you, I was on a podcast yesterday, national podcast, a very dear friend of mine. And he looked at me and he said, I want you to be you. What? He's like, I see you giving homage to every single person. You talk about the other thought leaders and you have your own thoughts, but you give everybody else praise. And he's like, be you. I didn't.
• 31:24
  come to you to hear about those other people. I came to you because I want to hear you. So even me, who I believe I'm one of the most authentic people in the world. He called me out and I, I took notice and that's really the number one thing is just take notice and be self-aware. What was the first step in, in the 12 steps?
• 31:41
  noticing that you have an issue, admitting you have an issue or there's something wrong. So be self-aware. But I'm hearing you talk and I got to be honest, you asked me earlier what my sermon would be, my sermon of sermons. I can't even answer that question without sort of looking around me and saying who's listening? What are they going to think? What's going to happen to me? Where's my career going to go from here? In a perfect world, you're right. I don't care. I'm going to be authentically me. I'm going to tell it as it is.
• 32:11
  But it's not always like that because my actions affect other people as a father, as a husband, as a spiritual leader in a congregation. People see me act in a particular way and it reflects on their lives. It's something as a rabbi or as a priest or an imam that I think affects us differently. When we go to the grocery store and somebody sees me pick up a six pack of beer,
• 32:36
  they see not Josh picking up a six-pack of beer, they see their rabbi picking up a six-pack of beer. And I always wonder, what is that thought? So all of us, not just clergy, are saddled with that. We are always looking at who's watching us, what are they thinking of us. Yes, to get rid of that would be really good, but it is not an easy path. You have to work very, very hard to not worry about what other people think. Yeah, my sermon would be on...
• 33:06
  Healthy happiness and living a life of no regrets. And everybody, oh, I don't regret anything. But when you're making excuses for the bad things you did, what I mean is I get to the end of my life and you're talking to God and he says that you live the life that I planned for you instead of, man, this is what it could have looked like.
• 33:28
  And that's by making choices and allowing and creating that space that I talked about earlier. I just, I want to get to the end of my life and know that my life meant something. So I want to, I would give that message to people. Like, are you, I call it the mirror moment. Look in the mirror. And are you proud of that person? If you died today, are you proud? I wasted 30 years of my life partying like a rock star. And I say wasted because I was wasted. But-
• 33:57
  I had a lot of fun. I met some celebrities. I did things that people would throw it all away because I like this life a lot better. It's boring. It's simple. But don't you think it got you here? Yes, absolutely. Without that, you could not be sitting where you are today. So accept who you are. You know, it's funny to hear you talking about what living without regret. People have asked me that question all of the time. Do I regret anything? My answer is the same every time.
• 34:24
  I actually have made all sorts of mistakes, just like you, right? We've all made mistakes in life. I don't regret a single one of those mistakes because they have gotten me to where I am. I've had to learn from them. I've had to change myself. There is one thing that I wish I could change in my life. Looking back, I wish I could go back to all of the people that I dismissed out of hand because they were different. They were not cool enough. When I was in high school, they were in the uncool crowd.
• 34:53
  I want to go back to all of them and say, what could I learn from you? What did I miss? Because ultimately, every single person I meet has something to teach me. I really wish I could go back and get all of that knowledge. Amazing. Imagine what it would be like if all those people you didn't talk to who you dismissed, if you could get a little bit of their knowledge today, it would be incredible. You know, it's...
• 35:18
  I love talking to people and I'm grinding so hard that I get, I I'm exhausted. And at the end of the day and I see myself becoming introvert, I pull my hat down and put my head, I'm like,
• 35:29
  And I say, Kelly, why aren't you talking? And I've run out of gas. And so I love, like I'm one of those guys that get on an airplane when I find out who you are, what it is, and let's talk about life. I open a book and I don't look at the person next to me. I don't want to talk. I don't want to be a part of it. I would be like, what's that book? Where'd you go? Is that good? So when we're talking about regret, I wrote down this thing. Regret, it's the things I didn't do.
• 35:54
  So what'd you say? I wrote that down before you even started talking. I don't mean I have regret because I was mean or I made mistakes or I hurt feeble feelings. It's the things I didn't do, which I just told you. I regret that I didn't talk to that stranger because I love people. Yeah. I regret that I'm working so hard that the last three nights I've had dinner with my daughter and I've kind of just been there and just...
• 36:18
  I listen. She probably loves it because she's a girl. She just loves it. Dad's not giving her a lecture. But I want to have, she's the most important thing in my life. And I haven't had the energy for her because I'm trying to relaunch the podcast where we're doing so many big things that will ultimately good, but sometimes you have to sacrifice. So the regret is the things I didn't do, the moments I wasn't really present. It isn't,
• 36:45
  that I got hammered one day with Kid Rock or that I was, you know, unfaithful to a girl. That's, that's what the duality of life has to happen. There is heaven, there is hell. So you can know the difference. Um, I'm interested to see what you, what you have. What's your thought on duality?
• 37:06
  Well, in Judaism, there is not a pure heaven and hell concept. What the rabbis talk about, and I really like this, is the idea that we have yetzer tov and yetzer hara, which is the good inclination and they call it the evil inclination or the bad inclination.
• 37:25
  The bad inclination comes from our basis instincts, sexuality, the need for food. So the good inclination, just so there's a clear understanding of this, the good inclination around food is that we need food to exist, right? We have to eat food to live. Our body needs calories, and so we have to eat. The evil inclination is the inclination to eat seven scoops of ice cream after dinner because even though we know that it's not good for us to do that,
• 37:54
  we crave that that's an evil side. And so the rabbis look at the duality of the world in that way, there is the good and there is the evil and it's our job to push off the evil and to accept the good. Now, ultimately there's a ton of different ways this plays out in Jewish thought. Um,
• 38:13
  Some rabbis in the ancient rabbinic world would suggest that what we do in this world affects us in what they call the world to come. So good people will be rewarded in the world to come. Bad people will be punished in the world to come. I'm not sure I align with that. I don't really think personally that there's a place that good people are going to go and a place that bad people are going to go. That doesn't work with my psychology. But I do see that there's a good path and there's a bad path. And we have to work really hard
• 38:42
  to edge towards the good path because the bad path draws us from our basest instincts all of the time. So I'm going to throw a challenge at you. Good versus bad. Who determines good versus bad? So to me, it's good and bad is determined by the outcomes of what you want in your life. So you may say that steak is good and I may say it's bad, but it's not. It's what do we want
• 39:12
  Good is what gets you to your outcomes. Bad is what keeps you from your outcomes. So I don't think that there really is a good, but there's certain morals in the Bible that say that, you know, thou shalt not steal. You know, there's certain things that, yes, you know,
• 39:29
  Those are frowned upon. But what really that's what divides this world is your definition of bad might not be my definition. And we have to be very careful because you just said, I want to go back to those people that I just cast off. And there was somebody that was just quiet that you cast off as a nerd or as a as a as a weirdo because they didn't talk. But their whole thing was just what they like.
• 39:53
  Yeah, so I want to make sure we're talking about the same thing here. Ultimately, I believe there is something called a universal truth or a universal evil, right? There are certain things that we can all agree are good and all agree are bad. Let's talk about one. I don't think there's anybody in the world that says cancer is good.
• 40:17
  Right. Cancer. Now, could you say, well, without cancer, the doctors wouldn't be finding solutions or ways to heal other diseases? I can't go there. But there are people and there are moments in the world that are universally good and universally bad. I'll give you an easy one. Anything that has to do with harm and children. That's universally bad. So I know where you're going with this. You're right. We're excluding
• 40:48
  And good and bad. I just want to make sure that people understand these labels of good versus bad. Yeah. So it goes back to where we started off in politics and in the world. That's it. A diet, right? This idea that I am going to give up steak or I'm going to only eat plant-based foods. I don't believe any of these ultimate decisions are good decisions for anybody. I think that finding the balance, finding what's right for you, recognizing that you
• 41:12
  Certain things are good for your body. Certain things are good for your mind. If we can find that middle ground, isn't that exactly what we're talking about in the political world also? Over and over and over and over again. Well said. And I gotta tell you, it's the same thing with me. I work out seven days a week, and people brutalize me on it. It's like, man, I didn't tell you to work out seven days a week. I'm telling you to work out at least five days a week. You don't have to do seven, it just works for me.
• 41:39
  And you can brutalize me all you want, but results matter. Results don't lie. And I'm happy.
• 41:46
  You figure out what works for you, but if you're not working out at all and you're criticizing me, hey, we got a bigger issue. We know you don't have to work seven days a week, but you can't work out zero days a week. That's not acceptable in terms of being the best version of ourselves. Now, you can languish in not working out at all and be overweight or unhealthy or having your body not function well.
• 42:09
  There's your universal bad, by the way. And I would argue that the person who only works out, who does nothing else, who is addicted to something unhealthy for their body, right? There is working out too much. There's hurting your muscles. There's hurting your body. Either extreme is bad.
• 42:28
  We have to find the middle ground. Yeah. It really just, what do they say? It's, it's all over the Bible. It's a, you want to heal, heal the, want better fruit, heal the root. And that's literally what this always is. It's, you want to see someone's working out too much. I'm going to show you a person that was told they weren't good enough.
• 42:47
  You know, I and that's it's I make it sound so simple, but literally when I was able to go back and just absolutely forgive my parents for their awful, abusive upbringing, I got my life back. And and really, truthfully, I reframed it like, wow, they didn't know any better.
• 43:05
  They didn't know any better. They did the best they could because they just followed in what they, with the patterns that they learned. Now I broke those patterns and gave unconditional love. I broke her to deal with my daughter this morning about grades. She goes, dad, I had her conferences yesterday and she said, dad, why aren't you mad at me? So I tried the mad way. It didn't work. I said, so I'm going to try something different. She goes, thank you. So then I said to her today, I said, I tell you what.
• 43:31
  Let's, I, I, I, people that work really hard in this world can get cooler things. I said, I promised you a car. If you just, if you get a certain grade point, I said, how about we increase the stakes? What's your favorite car? And I said, I tell you what, if you get to this grade point and maintain that, I'll get you your favorite car. And she goes, really? Really?
• 43:54
  Yep. So I tried. That's really what we do. We adapt. I'm coming back a year from now on the podcast. I want to know what car she gets and how well she did in school. We'll see how that works. I got to tell you, it's got to be tough being my daughter. I mean, I've been through it all.
• 44:08
  You can't throw one by me. And even as loving and as kind as I've worked to be, there's certain times that I just, work works, man. I nose down and let's go. No excuses. I've struggled with this because as you know, my career is one that we are available to people 24 hours a day. I've often had to be available to other people
• 44:29
  Instead of my family, right? When somebody calls and they're in the hospital or somebody's died, I have to be there for them. What I'm coming to understand now is being able to be a little bit quieter, to watch and to listen and to not worry about how I'm being perceived. That quietness has helped me get through some of the same challenges. Isn't age great? It is great, yes. If we let it, I wish we got it all backwards. It's like, I wish I knew.
• 44:58
  when I was 20, what we know now. So I have a huge following of 15 to 25-year-olds. And guys, listen to this right here. This is what it's all about. Sorry, go ahead. Well, no, I was just going to say, I think they've made movies about that, right? If I could take this knowledge and go back to college, I would, my life would be totally different. I would be killing my classes. I would be finding ways through unbelievable things. The problem is you're not. When you're young, when you're there, you don't have the wisdom.
• 45:25
  of age and years and process, that's okay too, right? You're going to do the best that you can in that moment and hopefully learn and grow every single day. Well, smart people learn from their mistakes, but wise people learn from other people's mistakes. Learn from my mistakes. I made them all. You went there, so I'm going to go there. How do you balance the roles of leader, teacher, and father?
• 45:46
  I haven't done it very well all the time, right? It was a very, very challenging reality. As I said, I think that my wife is a saint. She raised children with me, not there all the time. Now, I tried to be a really good dad. I was at baseball games. I was at gymnastics events. I was doing everything I could, but I wasn't there. And it was because I was grinding in my career. I was trying to create opportunities for their future.
• 46:14
  That is, I think, the biggest challenge for me. And I really think it's the biggest challenge for anybody who's chosen a professional career to figure out how to not let that professional career take over and at the same time use that professional career for what we get. We receive great things from our lives, from our professions. We receive financial gain. We receive respect and honor.
• 46:42
  But those don't balance with what you lose in not having relationships with the people you love. It is something I still work on every single day, Kelly. It is the hardest thing I do as a rabbi.
• 46:55
  Where'd you meet her? Indy, Chicago or Detroit? My wife and I met at summer camp, actually. We went to the same Jewish summer camp outside of Indianapolis. She's from Louisville, Kentucky. And it's been a constant negotiation, right? And I am lucky because I have a partner who has been able to communicate with me in a way that I've been able to hear.
• 47:16
  Not always easy, right? She tells me that when other people say I'm fantastic, she says I'm not so great. But she's been there and she's pushed me and she's asked me to be self-reflective. And as a result, I am a better person because she's been my partner. Now my kids are old enough to have the same conversations with me and they're pushing me in the same ways. They're saying, here's what we need of you, dad. Yeah.
• 47:39
  You haven't always done this. This is what we're asking of you now. And I will tell you, we recently were lucky enough to buy a house near Cass Lake. We spent a lot of time in the water and on the lake in the summertime. I will tell you that that reflective, quiet space, just with the people I love, has been the most important change in my life. Beautiful Southern Belle. I find it ironic too that you're on Cass Lake with
• 48:05
  so many Chaldeans. So it's just, we're walking the talk here, which is fun. I'll give you something that maybe that most people don't know. So a very triggering,
• 48:16
  moment for me is my daughter going to summer camp. Like I had, so I sent her to Tamarack, Jewish camp, and I struggled the first time she went years ago because I didn't, this isn't what, this isn't love and send my kid away and let somebody else parent my child. And, but I did it because I just, I just said, something's telling me that this is what I'm supposed to do. And every time she went away to camp, she came back with a different,
• 48:45
  trait or personality or something about her. And I went, whoa. So she went from 10 days to a month to 48 days to the entire summer. And she's been going for years and her best, best friends are from camp and they're good kids because they're come from good homes. So that was, it's, it's still to this moment, especially how expensive Tamarack is. I struggle with it. I'm like,
• 49:14
  This isn't I had huge chores I had to do. Now, mine is the extreme. And I literally one summer had to paint the entire outside of the house. Another summer, I had to paint the entire inside of the house. That was my summer job. All kids are out playing and having a good time. I was slaving away. It sucked. So it was a surrender and allow moment by writing a big check to send my daughter away.
• 49:41
  So I have a lot to say about this. I'm a big, big camp guy. This is something that's very, very important in my life. Obviously, you've heard I met my wife at camp. Like you said about your daughter, I've met my best friends in the world at summer camp. The people who I'm still closest to now are summer camp friends of mine from 30, 35 years ago.
• 50:01
  What summer camp does is gives exactly what you described, an opportunity for kids to be raised not only by their parents, but by a village. They learn from their cabin mates. They learn from their counselors who are just a few years older than them. They learn from a new community with different rules than the ones that they're in at home. It opens them up to the opportunity to grow and learn at a very young age. Now, obviously, other people get that when they go away to college or they go away to a first job.
• 50:31
  Christian communities, non-Jewish communities spend a lot more time sending their kids to boarding schools. A lot of Jewish families don't send their kids to boarding schools. They send their kids to summer camps instead of boarding programs. But I think the same thing happens in boarding school. You send your kid away and they come back with the benefit of having been in a different community and a different world. And when we talk about how we can make this world a better place, think about it.
• 50:56
  knowing other people, understanding other people's values. That's really important. I still go to summer camp every summer. I am a faculty member at the Six Points Union for Reform Judaism Sports Academy in Asheville, North Carolina. It's at the Asheville School. We rent out the program, the space there for the summertime. It's a dedicated Jewish sports camp. And I'm telling you, kids go away from their own teams here and
• 51:22
  They meet kids on other teams, they learn different skills, they learn different communal ideals, and they come back better for it. So even though that was hard for you as a parent, I think every single parent should find a way to get their kid off to a new community, whether it's a boarding program or a camp program. And quite frankly, I know you said camping is expensive. It is. There are also incredible, in this Detroit community, incredible scholarships available for families that wanna send their kids away to summer camp to get those values.
• 51:52
  Well, what we were really talking about is I was just absolutely projecting my value or my ignorant upbringing. You don't have those opportunities, right? And really what am I thinking? I was jealous because I had to work my butt off. Now, did that make it right? No. So I broke the cycle of abuse, sent my daughter away and she's a beautiful person. I gotta tell you, I didn't learn this until I went away to college.
• 52:19
  I was going to say. And it was a struggle. My first year of college, little, I had a 181. So that's a D average because I didn't understand what was going on around me. I had never been cultured.
• 52:35
  and see people from all different walks of life, she's going to be ready and prepared. So we did a good service by sending her away. But you also didn't lose out by not going to camp, right? You had other experiences. You got to learn. I know it's silly, but you learned the skill of painting a house. I don't know how to do that today. I don't want to know. But you did gain skills and you became who you are because of those experiences. I've become harder than life, literally.
• 53:02
  So I'm not complaining. Everything happened the way it was supposed to happen. And I'm able to have the duality of knowing what it is. So the beauty part, my daughter's never going to know black.
• 53:12
  She's never going to lack. And, and, and that's, I had enough lack for the next three generations. It's like generational wealth. You had generational lack of wealth. Yes. I, I, I, so I lacked love and I lacked food. So she doesn't have to, that's why we love having breakfast and dinner together. So we had a couple more questions we'll get out of here. These are more fun. So if you could instantly master any skill or talent, what would you choose?
• 53:41
  if I could instantly master a skill, well, I'll just tell you what I'm working on right now. I, in some of my spare time, have been working on my creative energy. And I have been working on the iPad to create art. I downloaded a program called Procreate
• 54:01
  And I've been working on painting on my iPad, on actually creating visual art on my iPad. I think there's something about, I've spent my whole life in words, writing and teaching. I've never really accessed my own creative spirit. If I could become a master artist right now, that would be something that would be really cool. That's beautiful. 57 years old and he's becoming an artiste. I got to tell you, I...
• 54:27
  I could barely color between the lines and my thing would be to listen. As much as I listen, I still want to listen more. God gave us two ears and one mouth and I talk way too much. I cannot learn with my mouth moving. And so I just threw that out there. What's a book, movie, or piece of art that influenced you in a surprising way?
• 54:49
  I'm actually reading a book right now. Barbara Kingsolver, one of my favorite authors, newest book came out last year, is called Demon Copperhead. It starts off as a story about the Mid-South and how the community of those who have less grow up with less.
• 55:10
  It ultimately is a dark story about drugs and a path, a cycle that is really ugly in our community connected to the opioid world. But there is a hopefulness about her story writing and a hopefulness about the way...
• 55:27
  King Solver Sees the World, that when you finish reading this book, you end up inspired. And I love it. I haven't quite gotten to the end. I see where it's going. And it ranges from joy to sadness to ultimately redemption. And she's a master author. So we're going to change the name of Harder Than Life to Demon Copperhead because I gave you my book. You're about to read the same thing. And I got a new software. It has a happy ending.
• 55:56
  Yeah. Well, I'm hoping that this book has a happy ending. I haven't quite gotten there yet, but, uh, we'll see. And yours obviously does. I'm sitting here with you. Yeah. It's, and we're just, I'm just getting started this, this next year. I turned 49 in a, in a week and, uh, this is going to be my best year yet.
• 56:13
  I really believe that every year is. I'm 57. I don't feel old. I feel really lucky. I feel like I'm still growing. With today's advanced medicine, man, I take BPC 157 pills every single day. It heals all my inflammation. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I don't drink.
• 56:29
  I sit in my shit and life gets better and better and better. But I mean, we're going to make massive impact. So the whole Heart of Life brand is for charity. So that's why we're doing all the charity events. But I want to make big, massive donations financially and time-wise.
• 56:47
  We're actually, it's funny you brought about the opiates. I'm on the board of Face Addiction now, which we do a lot of the opioid crisis a lot with that. So if you could switch careers completely, what would you do instead? So first of all, full disclosure.
• 57:05
  Being a rabbi means that I get to do everybody else's career. Look at this. I'm a rabbi, but I get to be a podcaster. I'm a rabbi. I go to the hospital and I'm in the medical world. I get to be with couples. So I'm a therapist. I'm a counselor. I have to run the business of the synagogue. So I'm a businessman. I actually already get to do a little bit of everything. So I've had a taste of a lot of different professions. Okay.
• 57:28
  I will say the one thing that has been most attractive to me all along has been the law world. There is something about changing the course of people's lives through a legal action that feels really good to me. I like the structure. I like the idea that there is law.
• 57:49
  and that we can work through law to make people's lives better, and we can challenge people. So if I could go back, I think I'd make a pretty damn good attorney. I think you would too. I would tell you that
• 58:01
  Lawyers are, there's studies about it, are the most stressful job in the world because they're always bending reality. They're always interpreting something. There's never, it's never black and white. It just, it never is. So there's been studies that- It's interesting. I like it because I feel that like there is a black and white. There is a law, there's a rule. And yet you're right, an interpretation matters. But I don't know, I'm so attracted to that idea.
• 58:26
  That interpretation is so wild. Like I will read something. It's like, oh, it's plain as day. And then somebody else will say their interpretation. I'm like, I actually can see how you could come up with that. Yeah. Well, that's I spent a lot of time in both worlds, right? Where I, yeah, I understand that. Oh, I understand that. Now what do I do? Something about being able to sort of make, maybe it's, maybe it's not just being a law in the law world. Maybe it's being a judge where I actually get to, to have that decisive vote. That's a, unfortunately, I don't want all that power, right? That's a little bit too much power for my world.
• 58:56
  Yeah, it's interesting. I've been in the criminal justice system and some of it is injustice. Yeah, I agree. It really is. I agree. We need to make some sweeping changes. I had a podcast guest one time tell me that if you could do anything in the world, it would be to eliminate a lot of laws, which made a ton of sense. He's like, you know how many freaking laws or amendments that are already being used? It's like,
• 59:22
  We need to go clean house. Clean house. And he said, oh, this is exactly what it was for every new law we put in. We have to take two out. Fascinating. Wow. And I was like, holy cow. It's cool. While you're talking, I've been thinking there is something else I want to do. It's totally in a different rock band. No, no. I'm really into manufacturing.
• 59:40
  I like watching things be produced. So maybe something else I would do is just, if I had all the money in the world and I could leave my career, I would go buy a company that made something interesting and I would do it better. Something about watching factories work is really cool to me.
• 59:57
  That's what we do at NTM. We take technology off the shelf and we make it better. Have you been through the Gleaners, the local Gleaners place? You should go see it. If you like operations. It's the one in Pontiac? It's actually down by the airport. Hmm. Wild. Wild.
• 1:00:16
  They're it's so spick and span clean and how they do their operation is amazing. Have you seen Henry Ford's the the the incredible. Yeah, you and I are a lot alike a lot. So if you could have a dinner party with three historical figures, who would you invite and why?
• 1:00:35
  It's so easy for a rabbi, right? I need Moses. I need Jesus. And I need Muhammad. And they're all going to be together and we're going to argue who's right, right? Which approach to the world is right? And maybe after that, they'll all agree that each of them can be correct with the other person also being correct. That is such an interesting, so many people answer that question with Jesus, of course. Yeah.
• 1:01:00
  Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad. You know, I would think that would be the most interesting. I'd just sit back and just...
• 1:01:07
  Because I would probably, this sounds weird, defer to Jesus. He came first. No, he didn't come first. Moses is first. Moses or Abraham from the Jewish community. You've got Jesus from the Christian community. And you've got Muhammad from the Islamic community. And what I think would be great about the conversation is even though they didn't come from the same ages, they came from different time periods. I think that they would look at each other and say, everybody got this wrong. This was not what I was trying to do.
• 1:01:35
  I was not trying to be right with everybody else being wrong. All three of them would look and say, I intended none of what has happened because of my teachings. That is my favorite answer to any question I've ever asked on any podcast. Thank you for that. You just made my day. We got it wrong. Moses, Muhammad, and Jesus. Absolutely.
• 1:02:01
  Thank you. What's one hobby or interest you have that might surprise people? Well, I talked about art already, but I've recently gotten really into my meditation. So I'm really, really every morning waking up and spending a few minutes a day
• 1:02:18
  Just in quietude. As I said, I'm working on being quieter. Quietude. Right? Just look, as you said, listening more and not talking as much. When you go into a meditative state, you open up new portals in our minds and in our bodies. It has been really, really good for me. I read something somewhere, and I'm going to butch this. If God wanted to hide the secret to happiness in life, it would be the three S's.
• 1:02:45
  silence, solitude. What's the third one? I always forget the third one. Silence, solitude. One other one. I can't remember. But yeah, the solitude. We don't do it enough. And I tell you, we talk about hard things.
• 1:02:59
  meditation is hard. It's very hard. And I've been doing it for four years. Do you have any tricks? Have you? Look, 10 minutes is a lot. Use a daily call? 10 minutes. No, I actually use the Peloton app of all apps. I spend some time turning on one of the Peloton teachers and try to listen to their guided space. And then after that, I spend about 10 minutes alone, just by myself.
• 1:03:22
  I usually like to turn on a, we have an electric fire. So I'll turn on an electric fire and, you know, like a gas flame and just, just be in quiet every single day. That's what I have my conversations with God is either out by my fire or in my hot tub all alone. And I just sit there and I just, I ask what questions, not why questions. What do you want me to do? What path do you want me to take? I'm so glad you said that.
• 1:03:49
  People often come to me at challenging moments of their life. They say, why did this happen? Why did my child get sick? Why did my father die? My answer to them is exactly that. It is not why. It is what am I going to do as a result of that? And just wait, patience, and it will show you. Life will show you. You'll know later on in life. Have you ever had a memorable oops moment while leading a service or event?
• 1:04:17
  I have had many, many of them. Wardrobe malfunction. Yeah, thank God I've never had a wardrobe malfunction. What I have done is one time I was giving a eulogy for a woman and dear friends of mine parent. And I called her by the wrong name.
• 1:04:38
  in a eulogy, and I'll be honest, when I first said her name incorrectly, I heard sort of a rumble in the crowd, and I actually, in my selfishness, thought, oh, they're with you, Rabbi, they're with you. And then I said her name again, and I heard another rumble, and I was like, yeah, they're all sad because I'm helping them through this process. And then I said her name a third time incorrectly, and I looked up, and somebody whispered to me the correct name.
• 1:05:06
  And I got to tell you, it was humbling when I realized that in my own selfishness, I had not paid attention and I had just too quickly made a mistake. Probably when I was typing, I just typed the wrong name and then it became the name that I was typing in the eulogy over and over and over again. It was an important lesson for me to slow down and to check my work and to be thoughtful about the way I do business and to listen.
• 1:05:34
  And it was a hugely impactful moment for me. Thank God these were friends. They were so kind. I was beside myself. They were loving and kind and allowed me the mistake. But boy, that's a mistake you don't make twice. Josh, I'm loving this. I don't want it to end, but we're up. We're at the end here. Is there anything I haven't asked you that you feel compelled to share?
• 1:05:59
  I mean, we've talked about so much. We've gone in all areas of the world. I think that all of this comes back to where we started, which is, can we find the ability to be centered?
• 1:06:12
  When we talk about meditation, we're centering our own identities, our own souls. When we talk about politics, we're talking about centering and listening and hearing other people. Everything we've talked about is finding the middle. It's something that I'm really dedicated to right now in a world that seems very broken, very fractured. I want us to find a middle ground where we can all live and love. And we can. This world is...
• 1:06:37
  is fractured, is broken, but it's ripe to be one and united again. And you're doing that. So I commend you for what you're doing. How do people get a hold of you? Are you on social media? I'm not on social media a lot. I don't post almost at all on Facebook or Instagram, but please check out Temple Israel, www.temple-israel.org.
• 1:07:00
  Uh, you'll find out about a lot of what's going on in the Detroit Jewish community there. You can follow our services. Actually, our services are online for people to watch every Friday night, seven o'clock. Join us, check out our message. I gotta say, we've set up all the stuff to do that. And I'd never, the last two holidays, my daughter and I sat downstairs and watched it. And just, it was so nice. I mean, I love being with people,
• 1:07:22
  But we had so much going on with family that it was just, it was beautiful. I love that. This is how people get nervous about technology, but the advancements, it opens it up to so many people. Yeah. And we're talking about having people be able to see us now who are living in other states, other countries. It's good. It's also challenging because I want people to come in and be in relationship with one another. It's on YouTube, by the way, guys, if you're looking for Temple Israel.
• 1:07:46
  Is it West Bloomfield or Michigan? Temple of Israel, Michigan on YouTube. We have a Facebook presence and our website. Did you happen to notice how many people were there? It was like a thousand. Thousands were watching this year. It was nice. Our numbers actually have been unbelievable on YouTube especially. YouTube is our number one platform. You can also check out my podcast. You mentioned it earlier. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:06
  The link will be in the show notes, guys. Go ahead and say what it is. The podcast is Waking Up to Life, 18 Minutes with Rabbi Josh, whereas this one's much longer. You only have to check in for 18 minutes on mine. So I'm excited. Yeah, it was a good time. I was a guest on it. It'll probably air in a couple months, and this will air in a month. So thanks for playing, man. Thanks for being here. Rabbi Josh Bennett, everybody. Thank you so much. Glad to be here.
• 1:08:31
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.