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What's the dating profile of a narcissist look like? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So what would the dating profile of a narcissist look like?
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  If you're new here? My name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  So welcome back, Welcome back, Welcome back.
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  Yes, yes, yes. This is so, yeah, dating profile
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  of a narcissistic person. So I was going to sit ahead and
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  build a dating profile online in front of people.
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  But I just like, there's just too many things that could go
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  wrong with that. Right there I was like, I just,
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  I don't know the dating apps. I'm, I've been married for too
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  long. I'm just like, I'm, I'm, I'm out
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  of out of that. But if I was on dating apps,
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  this is what my profile would look like out.
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  And also just in this space, this is what the profile of a
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  lot of other narcissistic people dating profile looks like.
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  So I do a lot of one on ones and zooms with people over zoom with
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  people right. Some group coaching.
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  I talk about communities, my little private communities as
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  well about this dynamic and people share the dating profiles
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  of their exes Like look this dating profile my this is my
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  ex's dating profile look like so this is what right here to me
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  which you should be on the lookout for fairy tale stuff.
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  Y'all be on the lookout for fairy tale things, because as a
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  narcissistic man, right, I'm going to put what I think
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  whoever I'm attracted to wants to hear, right?
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  I know most people would do that, but the it's the intent
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  that matters. It's coming from a place of
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  manipulation. I'm going to put things that
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  make if I want to meet a soft, kind, caring, empathetic person,
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  I'm going to make things seem like I'm a soft, kind, caring,
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  empathetic person. I'm going to list on this dating
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  profile, just looking for the right one to walk on the beach
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  with into somebody that understands where I'm coming
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  from. And you know, sometimes I'm a
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  very emotional person, so sometimes there's not afraid to
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  see a man cry or shed a tear or two.
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  Someone that has an open ear and validates my emotions as I
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  validate theirs over a campfire while we're roasting s'mores.
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  And then we go clap cheeks in there with this lit by the
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  sunlight or the moonlight because you could get s'mores,
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  right? Like, watch out for stuff like
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  that. Yeah, if it because being
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  realistic. And this is, like I said, being
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  realistic stay. But this way they are just
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  putting things that you want to hear out there.
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  I've seen narcissistic people dating profiles.
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  Like I said, they seem super sweet, kind, interesting.
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  You know, a lot of narcissistic people are going to be focused
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  on the look, how they present themselves, the the physicality.
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  Like sometimes they don't even post anything, but how their
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  look to 38, six foot three, £250 and just put pictures of myself
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  on there. That's all I would do.
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  You know, kids maybe would love some.
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  Don't smoke, drink socially. I'm an alcoholic.
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  I'm going to put drink socially. Just drink a little bit.
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  You know lies. Not the height and weight,
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  that's The Who I am, you know. But I can put that type of stuff
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  online and and get people, you know, because I know what people
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  are looking for. I'm going to just try to short
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  circuit anything else. Any red flag you might see.
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  Oh, he doesn't listen. He doesn't say he's married or
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  single, what he's looking for. He just got pictures of his body
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  and his height and his weight. Yeah, that's red flaggy as hell
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  for anybody, for any gender. Nothing else.
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  Just the body, how they look, how they present and that's
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  that's all. You don't know anything about
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  that personality, their Spotify playlist, whatever is attached
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  to their profile or whatever it is.
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  You see what I'm saying? Their Apple Music, you know,
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  Apple play whatever it is. They don't know anything about
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  this person other than their name, their distance away from
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  you, and you know their height and how they body look.
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  That's all you know, They're all they flashing money, yo.
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  Just be very careful, you know? Be very careful of what you list
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  as well. Because sometimes there's a lot
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  of narcissistic people who will search you out, right?
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  Search you. They specifically target people.
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  They'll specifically target you, search you out, read your dating
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  profile and change it to match you.
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  Change theirs to match yours. Like some of these dating apps,
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  they'll look at your stuff and then they'll go back and change
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  theirs to match yours. So y'all have similar interest.
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  That's how they get in there. If it's so, that's a red flag to
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  me. Is it?
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  The dating profile? Sounds too much like mine.
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  Like we have too much in common. It's like this.
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  Damn. Like I could have made holy
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  smokes. I could.
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  I could have wrote your dating profile for you.
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  I could have wrote your dating profile for you.
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  Wow. We have so much in common.
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  Y'all. Come on now.
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  Come on. Come on.
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  Come on now. Come on, man.
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  Come on, man. You know what I'm saying?
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  I If you feel like you could have wrote this dating profile
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  for for yourself. If you could have wrote that,
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  y'all have so much in common, they might have mirrored you.
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  They might have copied everything that you had as your
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  profile. Not every single thing.
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  Of course, like like you remember back in the day when
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  people said cheat on test, hey, or cheat on like copy my
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  homework or something like that. Hey, you can copy it, but change
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  it with a couple of the words so it doesn't lightweight like you
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  did. That's what they need to your
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  dating profile. They took what your dating
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  profile looked like. It just Cliff noted it into
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  theirs from a different perspective, from the male
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  perspective or the female perspective or the non biter
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  perspective. Whoever you are, you know, they
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  took it and did that. You know, they might change
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  their political affiliation. They might change their religion
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  on there just to match yours. Like you come up they they got
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  Muslim on there. You go meet them.
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  They got Jesus hanging on the cross in their damn bedroom.
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  Like I thought you were Muslim. Why I said that your dating
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  profile definitely say you were Muslim and you, you know you
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  were halal and all this other stuff like you were.
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  You know, we were we were on the Muslim dating man.
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  What are you talking about? What we met on the the Muslim
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  dating man were you? Huh.
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  You were Christian. Well, Emma, you see what I'm
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  saying? Y'all watch out.
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  Then I tell your date. Were you making your date your
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  own dating profile? I'm not telling you.
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  I'm not trying to scare you off from online because normal non
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  narcissistic people could be on earth as well.
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  But like, there's a lot of successful stories from dating
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  ads. But a lot of times a lot of the
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  horror stories I hear are from meeting people on Facebook,
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  dating, you know, you know, TikTok or whatever it is because
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  you can only you don't really know them in person, right?
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  So be careful what you list online because that mirroring
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  profile type of stuff, that's how they get you.
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  You see what I'm saying? Don't.
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  Like I said, that's how they get you.
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  They will mirror your profile and just write the stuff that
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  you want to hear and they get you, especially if you're
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  vulnerable. You just you just went through a
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  breakup or something like that. You just looking for some cheek
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  clapping session. I got you.
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  This person is just like me. This is the male version of me.
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  This is the female version of me.
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  He said this is the NB non binary version of me.
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  What? No, no.
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  Yeah, I'll get confused sometimes, but that's the way it
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  goes. You know what I mean?
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  That's how they get you. They mirror you, your likes and
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  dislikes, and just show you who you are and they present you.
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  You know, I've seen this happen. This is what I saw happen in
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  real life. A dude did this to one of my
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  friends in real life. A man did this to, did this to
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  this woman, Like, same interest, same quirky band, same weirdness
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  that, you know, same type of stuff that she loves.
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  And she's like, she's kind of, you know, quirky and he's
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  quirky. And I first met him and I told
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  her I was like, I don't like that dude.
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  You know, she like people don't call me Lee.
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  And real life, they call me demon.
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  She's like Demon. Why don't you like him?
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  I was like, I just got a weird energy for that dude.
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  Like, he does not seem like he act like, I know you.
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  I've been knowing you for a few years.
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  You have this quirky kind of energy about you.
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  He doesn't have that. He's pretending he has that.
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  I'd be damned. About six months later, he
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  ghosted her because he had a family.
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  He was married. He had a family.
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  I was like what? What She found out he had a
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  family. He ghosted her and went and
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  blocked her threaten her. I was like what because he like
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  she's like I looked at my finally I finally found his
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  Facebook he had hidden from me. He had blocked me on his
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  Facebook before we met and I found his Facebook.
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  He didn't like anything and I like he didn't like.
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  We didn't have the same political affiliation, the same
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  religion, the same nothing. He's an atheist someone he's a
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  Christian and this is that. And I was like, wow, pretended
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  literally just mirrored her dating profile.
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  That's what they do y'all to get you, you know, That's what they
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  do to get you. They just seem like they're so
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  quirky and fun with you, you know what I mean?
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  That's why I'm just telling people, just be careful what you
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  write on there because they will mirror you.
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  Your dating profile becomes their blueprint to get you
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  right. That's how they get you through
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  your own dating profile. You know, like I said, if I was
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  on there, that's the type of stuff I would do.
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  If I'm on dating profiles, watch out for them.
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  Again, it depends on what you post as well.
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  Because watch out for grief. Don't post your grief on a
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  dating profile. If you're grieving, get off
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  dating. Get off dating apps anyway
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  because you need to take your time to heal.
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  If you're grieving, that's with my perspective.
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  It's just, hey, look, you just lost your parent.
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  Whoever. Get off the dating apps because
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  you make it more susceptible to to toxic, manipulative people.
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  Because if you put RIPPGOTO or RIP Pikachu on your damn profile
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  they're going through, they're going to use your grief as
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  manipulation tactic. I lost the Pikachu as well.
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  He had just, he had just learned Thunderbolt and he would, he
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  just said his first word. He said Pika, Pika, Pika Chu.
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  And then he passed away. So we both had lost Pikachu.
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  They'll use your trauma online to connect.
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  Y'all will finally meet the person you fall in love with and
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  come to find out they never had a damn Pikachu.
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  They started off with a Charmander.
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  You see what I'm saying? What did Pokémon talk over?
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  But that's how it goes right there.
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  Like, watch what you post. Don't post your grief online.
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  And watch for other people posting their grief and their
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  trauma online as well. Right.
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  They'll post their grief and their trauma online, too.
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  Like, yeah, they'll do that to try to manipulate you, to feel
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  sorry for them because you go to their profile, y'all connect,
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  and you'll be like, oh, you just lost someone.
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  Me too. Gotcha.
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  Gotcha. Gonna get you.
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  Oh, you lost some closer. One closer.
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  Me too. I just did too.
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  Gotcha. Watch out for people who put
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  their traumatic experiences on their dating profile.
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  That goes for you as well. I'm telling you, don't put your
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  trauma on dating profiles either.
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  You know, another red flag. I'm.
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  I'm just rattling off and I'm just ready.
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  I'm. I'm coming with the heat.
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  Watch out for cropped pictures. If the picture seems cropped,
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  like if they seem like they have their arm around somebody in the
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  picture and they smile, It's a good picture.
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  It's a good looking picture. But you only see half their body
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  or they got somebody's face blacked out.
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  They might be married or in a relationship.
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  Yeah, it just seems like some sometimes, like other people
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  take the best photos of you when they're when they're in them
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  because they want to look good in the photo too.
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  So they watch out for people who cry.
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  I know there's the older folks who do that a lot because they
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  don't have a lot of selfies sometimes, but watch out for
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  that. Y'all.
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  Watch out for cropped photos because some of the best
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  pictures I have, I mean, I want people cropped out of it.
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  You know what I'm saying? Watch out for cropped photos and
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  I'll just be real with you as well.
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  Watch out for unbelievable things.
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  Y'all just looking for somebody just getting over like I told
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  you about. Remember I mentioned trauma
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  earlier? Just getting over a heartbreak.
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  I don't deserve this. I'm the kindest, sweetest person
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  in the world. I got cheated on it broke my
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  heart and they they got that listening in their dating
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  profile. Y'all that's bait.
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  That's bait. They're throwing you bait.
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  Don't take the bait, Don't bite down on the bait.
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  Don't do that. If somebody is going through
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  trauma, let's just say somebody has a real life experience.
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  They're going through trauma. Y'all.
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  They're not ready to date you either.
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  Or they're using it to manipulate you, you mean?
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  I know, but, like, people need to be somebody to need to be
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  there for them. What if they're all alone?
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  Like, y'all hey, it's your life. You got years to waste.
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  You got some years, you got some years to waste.
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  Hey, by all means. You see what I'm saying?
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  Because they don't care. They don't care about wasting
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  your time because they they their time is not getting
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  wasted. So they don't care about wasting
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  yours. My time is not getting wasted.
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  Yours is. I'm good, you know.
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  So you have to empower yourself in this space right here.
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  Y'all. So watch out for that type of
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  stuff on dating profiles, like, because I'm just telling you,
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  you know, that's what they'll do.
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  They'll put what you want to. They'll put what they think you
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  want to see. Like they'll put their pet on
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  there like they're having somebody.
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  Oh, I'm looking. I'm a dog.
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  I'm a dog man. I'm a cat.
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  Daddy, whatever it is. I'm a fish dad.
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  I'm a I'm a hamster uncle. This is my my, you know, this is
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  my nephew, Hamster weasel, whatever.
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  You see what I'm saying? Watch off with this stuff.
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  Like, I'm just telling you, they're trying to play on your
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  emotions. They're trying to play on your
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  empathy and your compassion and your and your kindness and your
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  emotion. Yeah, they're trying to play on
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  your deep emotions. So they'd have pets and their
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  kids and stuff like that. They're trying to invoke that,
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  The emotion in you. They're trying to make that
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  level rise within you because you see them with a pet, almost
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  a kind, pretty much of pet or their kids or something like
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  that. They must be a kind person.
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  Oh, you're a good father. They be the only picture they
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  got of their kids, the only picture they had of their kids
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  in the last 20 years. You see what I'm saying?
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  Their kids, adults now, it's an old picture.
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  You know, watch out for misrepresentation.
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  Speaking of pictures, if you meet this person online and they
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  don't look like their pictures or they're using old pictures,
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  which some of y'all might do as well, use real pictures of you.
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  You know what I mean? They didn't allow all their hair
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  and fell out or something like that.
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  They didn't gain a lot of weight.
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  Lost a lot of weight. Like yo make sure people are not
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  misrepresented in themselves because like to me that feels
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  like a lie. And if they start off with a
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  relationship with a lie or any type of lie, you catch them in
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  any type of lie in the beginning.
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  Even online if you catch them on 2 date, two different dating
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  apps with different names or different interests, different
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  hobbies and things like that, you know, because some people do
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  that they have multiple dating profiles with multiple likes and
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  hobbies. They throwing out all kinds of
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  bait. If you see two different
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  profiles on two different dating apps and they have different
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  names and different likes and dislikes, block that person
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  immediately because they're lying.
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  They're trying, they're trying to bake people in with stuff
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  like that. Y'all goodness gracious, the
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  opportunity. I know this, this is this video
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  a little bit longer than the ones I normally do.
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  So I had to go into detail about some of this stuff, y'all
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  because that's what I would do. I was just like saying watch out
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  for people who put too little information and watch out for
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  people who put too much information because they're
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  trying to suck you in because they make you feel like they're
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  good communicators and things like that.
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  What are you looking for? Somebody to communicate with me.
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  Somebody, you know, probably probably stuff that their ex
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  said about them in a negative way.
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  They try to spin into a positive.
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  Somebody that listens to me because they didn't listen to
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  the ex. Somebody that doesn't cheat on
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  me, they cheated on their ex. Somebody that doesn't put their
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  hands on me, they put their hands.
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  I'm just telling you, watch out for the controlling things as
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  well. If they list controlling things
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  online, I need a submissive person or this is that.
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  Or you got to obey my rule or play a certain role in my life.
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  Watch out for that as well. Y'all because some of them will
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  put that stuff up there up front.
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  Some of them will put that stuff up there up front.
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  And if you take a, if you bite that bait, they just like, hey,
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  you knew what you were getting yourself into.
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  I put this online for a reason. You bit, you took the bait, you
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  knew what you're getting into. You're not a victim here.
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  That's what they would say to you, you know?
• 15:09
  So watch out for that as well, because don't try.
• 15:13
  If you feel like you have to change this person, maybe I can
• 15:16
  stay with them and they'll they'll change.
• 15:18
  Don't go into a relationship where you feel like you have to
• 15:19
  change somebody or you feel like you have to change yourself.
• 15:24
  Y'all made it this far. Y'all Drop a drop a little
• 15:26
  healing harder in the conversation or drop a harder
• 15:28
  conversation. Y'all I'm super thankful for.
• 15:30
  Y'all super grateful like and subscribe for more as always.
• 15:34
  But this is at peace. Thank you so much for making it
• 15:37
  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
• 15:40
  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
• 15:42
  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
• 15:44
  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
• 15:46
  on my playlist. There's also a link available up
• 15:49
  here for you to purchase my kids.
• 15:51
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon, so check that
• 15:54
  out. Thank you.
• 15:55
  I will see you in the next video.
• 15:57
  Peace.