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The Wounded Wallet | Ps Melanie Politanski · Citipointe Church Caboolture

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I'm bringing a word this morning in the series that we have been
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doing as a church under the incredible Faith, Love and Hope
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season we've been exploring as a church God, money and me and who
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who has been who's picked up that resource by Paul Dejong in
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the last number of weeks. Phenomenal, phenomenal.
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It's really going to do some beautiful things.
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It's going to undo some things that maybe you need undoing and
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rebuild some things. And this is not just financial.
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As I've walked through listening to this book, as I've listened
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to this book, I have noticed that this topic of money is
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attached to our heart. Has anybody else discovered
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this? It is not separate to us.
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It is absolutely attached to our heart.
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And so it is such a beautiful and sacred thing to do to walk
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through the Word of God and understand what He says about
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money over the in the last couple of weeks, you may have
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discovered from the incredible words that have come out from
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Pastor Gray and Pastor Rach last week, what a word last week.
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Wow, phenomenal. You will have discovered that
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God has a lot to say about money in His Word.
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He lists things about how we are to steward what He has provided
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us thousands more times than when he's what he speaks about
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his love, his grace and faith. This is huge.
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This means for you and I, we have a lot from God's word that
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we need to learn. If he's got a lot to say about
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it, we've got a lot to learn about it.
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And so in an unusual my part of the series that I'm going to
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bring today or unpack today, I have titled The Wounded Wallet
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The Wounded Wallet. Why?
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Because I truly believe that God has to undo some things in us
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before He begins to build some things in us.
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He's so faithful. For those of you who have
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accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you'll know this.
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He's so faithful and He's so good that He doesn't just take
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the broken mess that you and I are or were, and go from here.
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I can do something with this life.
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No, He says I can redeem and I can restore and I can heal and I
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can show you the threat of grace because God promises you and I
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that He's been with us always, that He's never left us, never
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forsaken us. That means that when we didn't
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know Him, He knew us and He was near to us, we just weren't
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aware or wouldn't acknowledge His nearness.
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Which means for you and I, there's been a threat of grace.
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There is in each of our stories all along.
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That as we undo so gently with the Holy Spirit some of the
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wounds we have. And so we're going to look at
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this in this area today, the wounds that we have.
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We see the threat of grace that God has been weaving for all our
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lives because he has a plan and a purpose for each and every one
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of us. And that is not to harm us to,
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but to give us a hope and a future.
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So I want to preach a message this morning called the wounded
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wallet. And before anybody panics, it's
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not a message about budgeting and it's not going to tackle
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your after pay balance. You got to do that one on your
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own. All right, Although the Holy
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Spirit this morning might speak to you about your Uber Eats
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spending. You know, we have no Uber Eats
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where we are. Graham and I's budget has just
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so significantly changed it's ridiculous.
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We are totally home cooked meals now.
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But this message is deeper than dollars, all right, because many
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people don't actually have a money problem.
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I know so many of you disagreed with that statement, all right?
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We have a wounded heart that money got attached to.
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And until the wounds heal, the patterns continue to repeat.
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So I want to ask you a really deeply honest question.
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I'm going to ask each and everyone of you to shut your
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eyes for just a moment. And I'm going to ask you to have
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a think about this is what to do with my interns.
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All right, have a think about just for 30 seconds, your first
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memory of money. Was it fearful?
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Did have conflict? Stressful?
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Many of us as children have great memories of going to the
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lolly store. Who's got the lolly store memory
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right? Lolly store memory.
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And when I was little, and I'm sure there are others here who
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can beat this, which is awesome. And you can have those cafe
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conversations after. But when I was little, I
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remember that $0.05 used to get 20 lollies.
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It was a little white bag that used to be screwed at the top
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like this, and you could go up and you could get it.
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And so to five find $0.05 on the road was a big deal as a child.
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If you found $0.20, you were loaded.
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You go one of the big bags. Does anybody have those sorts of
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memories? Maybe you don't.
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Maybe your early memories of money are actually around lack
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or embarrassment or instability. When I was a child, when I was
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in grade 2, my mum sent me to the school uniform lady.
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Who has an experience with the school uniform lady?
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We had a school uniform lady, right?
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And this school uniform lady scared me.
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She scared me so much that even if I didn't have to go to the
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school uniform, little booth place in our school, if she was
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walking down the hallway, I'd put my head down and I'd walk to
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the side and cross to the other side.
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I was so afraid of her because she used to walk around with a
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ruler and she would get girls as you would walk past.
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Some of you guys have this memory.
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This is really normal for you. But when you'd walk past, she'd
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say kneel and you had to get on the ground.
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She'd measure your skirt versus like the ground and all the
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girls skirts had to actually go on the ground.
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And she would measure the boys socks because they had to come
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right up to the kneecap. And so she would be feeling boys
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kneecaps and measuring girls skirts.
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And I was so afraid of her that I remember asking my mum with
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the brand new dresses that we used to get at the beginning of
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the year to let the hems down so that I didn't ever have to be
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measured. So it's so ridiculous.
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I've seen in school photos that my dress was like here I had a
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couple of inches gap between the pulled up socks and the and the
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dress in Townsville, which is just crazy.
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But I have this memory of going to the school uniform lady when
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I was in grade 2 and because I needed a new sports skirt, I'd
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grown out of my sports skirt and it was now too short and I was
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going to get measured. So my mum sent an envelope to
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the school with me in year 2 and said go to the uniform shop lady
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because she was open before and after school before school and
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give it to her and say I need a new sports skirt now.
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There wasn't mobile phones so she couldn't text ahead.
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So in that era you would go to the uniform shop.
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So I remember being petrified and I'd have to go and she was
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going to measure me and she was going to give me a skirt that
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was too big but I was afraid would fall down when I'd run on
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sports days. But all the, all, all of those
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fears aside, I went to the uniform shop and I remember
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going to the uniform shop and saying to the to the uniform
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shop lady, I'm here to buy a new sports skirt.
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My mum has given me this money to pay for it and so she eyed me
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off, didn't get a skirt out, opened the envelope and took out
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a $50 note. Now I didn't know in year 2 what
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that was. I didn't know the value of this
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yet. But in grade 2 I'm quite young.
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I graduated school as a 16 year old so I was really young.
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And I have this vivid memory of the uniform shop lady saying to
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a very young child, you stole this from your mum, didn't you?
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And I remember standing there as a little girl going, no, my mum
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gave it 'cause I need a new skirt.
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She said I'm going to check, I'm going to call.
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And she sent me out of the uniform shop and at the end of
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the day my mum, who was a little bit like me, smaller in statue
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but if you've met her just as fiery, walked in and had what, 2
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with the uniform shop lady. And I remember this defining
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moment as a 7 year old where I was clearly, in the eyes of
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adults, would only possess a whole lot of finance if I had
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stolen it. Do you know that that marked my
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life for nearly 25 years and marked the way I did finance?
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It was so significant, I struggled to have large finances
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on me at any time for fear that someone would think I had stolen
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it. It also spoke to myself worth on
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that I wasn't worth or worthy to be carrying that level of
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finance. Each and every one of us could
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have these moments and there will be people here today, which
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is why we're bringing a message like this who carry wounds
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around finance now. It's so funny.
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I could remember that when I was actually preparing and I wrote
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that question, it was still the first memory I remember about
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finance. And yet Fast forward a couple of
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years later, at 12 years old, we used to hang out at the skate
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park, which in Townsville was not actually a skate park done
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by the community. It was actually held on the
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Uniting Church property. There was a big half pipe at the
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at the end of the car park of this church property.
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And so all the kids in town used to go the half pipe and most of
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us couldn't skate. So we would just slide down it
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on our butts and split our shorts.
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But it was really fun. So we, my dad would take us down
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regularly. It was big car park.
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We'd rollerblade because it was the 90s and we'd slide on this
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half pipe. And I remember on this day there
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was the, the shop, everybody knows the corner stores in that
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era, right where you would get those lolly bags.
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And I remember saying to my dad, after we go to the skate park,
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can we go to the lolly shop? And I remember him saying to me,
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I actually don't have any finance today, but you know
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what, We're going to God's house.
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You never know now. God's house wasn't open.
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It was Saturday. We would just go to the skate
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park attached to God's house. But I remember on this day I
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heard the comment. I totally dismissed it.
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I was 12 years old. My little brothers were on the
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half pipe and I was balancing like all good kids.
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You know, I'm using myself on the car park edges, right?
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And I was walking and there was concrete on this side and grass
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on this side and all of a sudden something shiny caught my eye.
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And right there in the grass was the brand new $2.00 coins.
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Not one but a a whole lot of coins.
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I picked it up and I was like, and then I started to see
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sparkles all the way through the grass.
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And as I was walking along, I was getting more and more
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excited. And I was like, Dad, Dad, look
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in the House of God, as my dad said to me, but you never know
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because we're going to the House of God.
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Do you know, in the House of God we sit under the provision of
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the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.
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Do you know I walked away with that day, $22.00 all in coins.
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Somebody was skating in their, you know, pockets got emptied
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and I found it. But it taught me something that
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in the House of God there is supernatural provision and it's
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not just for rescue, it's that this is the way our God
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operates. My dad said to me when I showed
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him because I was like, what do I do with this?
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This is a lot of money. Do I need to hand it in to
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somebody? Do I, what do I need to do with
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this? And I remember my dad just
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kneeling down and saying to me, Mel, don't ever be worried about
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your finance. If you're busy about his work,
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he'll look after you. And I want to say to you,
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church, if you're busy about his work, if you're, if you are
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walking out, what God has called you to do obediently, faithfully
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being found trustworthy with what he's put in your hands.
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God will provide according to his riches.
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We're not subject to the world's economy when we come under his
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economy. That's why I wanted to ask you,
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what is your early memory? Because we all have the
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opportunity to have this reframed.
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Many adults are still making financial decisions today from
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childhood wounds. Some people over overspend
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because they're wounded. Some hoard because they're
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wounded. Some avoid finances completely
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because shame overwhelms them. Some strive endlessly because
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their worth became connected to performance.
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The reality is many people need healing before they need to make
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a budget. Because your wallet often
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reveals what your heart is carrying.
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So I'm going to bring this out in 4 quick points this morning.
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I want to unpack this because I pray this morning that there is
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freedom found in this place. I can testify that God has
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taken. Gray and I are on such a journey
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in this area to see wholeness and healing take place that
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today in our mid 40s, we are walking debt free.
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That's unheard of. When I when I read that
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scripture that says do not conform to the ways of the
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world, I wonder what this looks like if we applied that not just
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in behaviours but in our area of finances.
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What does it look like to not conform to the ways of the
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world, but instead be transformed by the renewing of
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His Spirit .1 this morning? A wounded wallet is often a
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wounded heart. Proverbs 423 says guard your
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heart, for from it everything you do flows.
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Everything flows from the heart, including your relationship with
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money. Money is emotional.
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If you doubt me in it, see how you feel or the difference
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between when you open who's still got like a physical wallet
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and it's not just your iPhone and you're tapping it, right?
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Yeah. OK.
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So the difference, the emotional difference to when you open that
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thing and it's got nothing but store cards.
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And I'm not talking the ones that get you anything.
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I'm talking the loyalty points, right?
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Right. When it's got nothing in there
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or it's just got some silver coin in there to when you open
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that up and there's a whole lot of greenback in there, right,
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there's a different emotional response.
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All right? Money is emotional.
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That's why we buy things we can't afford, avoid opening
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bills, panic over small expenses, obsess over financial
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security, or we work until we burn out.
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Or we feel shame around lack. Because money is rarely just
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practical. Does anybody feel that it's
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really just practical? It's deeply spiritual and very
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emotional. Maybe growing up, money created
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conflict in your home. Maybe bills created fear, debt
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created anxiety, addiction created instability, gambling
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destroyed trust, or poverty created shame.
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Some of us inherited more than just eye colour.
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We inherited fear or scarcity, which we've spoken into for the
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last two weeks, or survival mode, and now as adults, we
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react to money emotionally because our hearts were wounded
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relationally. Hear me today.
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This is really important. Your family history may explain
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you, but it doesn't define you. Romans 12 says be transformed by
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the renewing of your mind, meaning the cycle can break
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chaos, fear, lack, debt, financial panic, shame.
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Jesus heals hearts, not just habits.
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All right, which brings me to point #2 wounded people build
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golden calves. We're going to go to a passage
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in the Bible, and it's found in Exodus 32.
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I love this passage and what it communicates to you and I about
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this and what happens when people are wounded and they've
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got to walk forward with wealth, all right?
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Wealth doesn't mean that you're rich just with money.
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In Exodus 32, Israel has been delivered miraculously,
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supernaturally, so significantly by God from Egypt.
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All right, They've been delivered from slavery.
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They had the sea parted for them.
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They've walked across on dry land.
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God has then fed them supernaturally.
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I just think this is, does anybody else get wowed by these
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stories in the Bible and you go, does anybody ever pray?
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God, let us see this stuff again.
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I'd totally wake up to Mana. Come on now.
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Right? But then Moses goes up the
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mountain into the presence of God and is delayed, Say delayed.
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Beware of what you do with your finances when God tarries
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according to your time in the waiting.
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When there is delay, let me tell you what happens.
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Suddenly the waiting exposes their wounds.
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The golden calf that they create while Moses is up the mountain
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was not birthed out of atheism. It was born from impatience.
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They didn't stop wanting God, They stopped trusting in Him
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while they were waiting. And instead of surrendering,
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they built something. Here it is that they could
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control. And isn't that what we still do
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today? When life feels uncertain, when
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God feels silent, when waiting feels uncomfortable, we start
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building substitutes. We build hustle, control,
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accumulation, comfort, image, status, endless striving because
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wounded people often trust control more than surrender.
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I'm going to repeat that and I'm just going to ask you, let that
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settle in your spirit this morning.
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Wounded people often trust control more than surrender.
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Let me lovingly say this this morning though.
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Sometimes the most spiritual looking people are actually
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highly organised control freaks. Some of you don't have the gift
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of administration. You have anxiety with a
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spreadsheet. Come on.
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But healing begins when trust becomes greater than control.
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Here's here's the Third Point in this The gold was never the
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problem. All right?
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The Israelites made this golden calf out of gold.
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The gold was not the issue. This is what wrecks me about
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this particular story. The gold itself wasn't evil.
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That gold came from Egypt. That gold was provision given to
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the Israelites by Egypt as they exited.
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That was ordained by God, right? God gave it to Israel as they
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left, and later God tells them to use this same gold to build
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the Tabernacle to house His presence.
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Same gold, 2 altars, one that hosted his presence and the
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other that replaced it. And suddenly you realise money
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itself isn't evil. Provision isn't evil, influence
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isn't evil, success isn't evil. The issue is, what is our heart
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doing with the gold? Because wounded hearts can turn
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gifts from God into substitutes for God very quickly.
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Some people use money to feel safe, to feel powerful, to avoid
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dependence, to numb pain, to prove worth, and to escape
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insecurity. And we don't melt gold into
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calves anymore. Well, not that I'm aware of, all
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right? We melted into endless hustle,
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emotional spending, status, addiction, comfort, self
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protection, and success without surrender.
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And some idols look really spiritual.
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You can build ministry without intimacy.
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You can build success without peace and wealth without trust
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or productivity without God's presence.
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But God never intended provision to replace his presence.
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And so .4 this morning, it's for each and every one of us found
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in this room. Or if you're listening to this
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message online, Jesus wants to heal our money stories.
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Is there anybody here has the faith to believe that Jesus
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wants to heal? Some of us today are exhausted,
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not because of money itself, but because of the fear attached to
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it. Some of us panic every time a
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bill arrives. Some of us avoid our finances
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because shame overwhelms us. Some of us work constantly
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because you're terrified of ever feeling powerless again.
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Some of us are still reacting from wounds created 20 years
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ago. But Jesus wants to heal the root
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cause, not just manage the this is the symptom.
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And I believe the Holy Spirit is saying today you do not need to
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live in survival mode anymore. When I wrote that particular
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line down, I, I saw a young lady, there's a young lady here
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today and God just wants to say to you, you were never designed
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to live in survival mode. You were never designed to live
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in survival mode. You do not need to live in that
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state any longer. You are not trapped in the story
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that you have come from. I want to unpack this just a
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little bit before the team comes through.
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An incredible, incredible story in the Word of God.
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It's a parable that Jesus tells about a prodigal son in Luke
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1511 to 32. The prodigal son demands his
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inheritance early. Can you hear it?
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Why? Because wounded people often
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want quick provision without healthy process.
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He took the money. And if you've read the story,
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you know he wasted it, and he wasted it quickly.
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He wasted it recklessly. But the greatest loss in this
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story is not the finances or the loss of it, it was the loss of
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his identity. As this young man becomes aware
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that he has nothing, when the money runs out, the friends
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leave, the lifestyle leaves. This young man is left with
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nothing and he finds himself working on a farm with pigs and
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eating the pigs food. And this is what he says.
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And I actually think this is one of the most heartbreaking lines
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in the word of God. It says I am no longer worthy to
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be called a son. When we have a wound in this
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space, this is what it attacks every time is our identity.
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And so it is not not just the patterns that repeat, but
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actually how we see ourselves. And we can't filter and see God
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and how he sees us because we carry this and we go, I'm not
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worthy. We come and we stand to pray in
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a time that we're going to do give tithes and offerings and we
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go, I'm not worthy to stand. I'm going to stand.
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I'm going to put my hands in my pocket and I'm going to agree.
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And you know what? I know God's principles to be
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true, but I just, I can't. I'm not worthy to be part of
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this. This is what financial trauma
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and wounds and pain does. It attacks identity.
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People begin to believe I will never get ahead.
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I will always fail financially. There will never be enough.
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I'm just bad with money. Or if I get a better job then
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maybe things will sort themselves out.
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Or this is how my family has always been.
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Do you know, I believe that over this series that God is going to
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give individuals in this church the faith to come off welfare
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and not because it's a close goal.
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I actually felt that before we began to pray, Graham and I were
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sort of preparing what we were going to do this season.
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And I actually had this sense that some individuals are going
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to walk out of this year who completely depended on welfare,
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on Centrelink. And you're going to walk out of
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this year not because it's just been handed to you, but God is
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going to give you the faith, say faith.
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He's going to give you the faith to believe that there is a
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different way of living for you. And this is, please hear me,
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This is not to say that welfare is bad.
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Welfare is not bad. We live in one of the most
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blessed countries on the planet. I am so grateful for what the
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government has actually provided so that no person actually has
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to live under like in destitution.
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Yes, people still fall through the cracks and we understand all
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of the economy and all of those things.
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The Bible says the poor will always be with us.
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Where to be about that work as the church.
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It's not that. It's just Oh well, it'll always
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be like that and I can't do anything about it.
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No, it calls you and I, the word of God calls you and I to be a
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source and an answer and and we can only be a source and an
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answer in these spaces. If you and I truly put our faith
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in the Lord and say God you, I know you can shift this in my
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what I know you can heal this and so that you would bring
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enough for me to not just look after what I've got to do, but
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do what you want to do through me.
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I'm always marked by that scripture that says he was
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faithful with the little we'll be entrusted much.
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Grey and I had the privilege and honour of serving Pastor
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Rachel's parents for nine years before we became the senior
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leaders. And I remember sitting in Pastor
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X office one day and he was talking to us about leadership
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styles. And he said this particular
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leadership principle he shared with us, he said you can use in
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every area, but he said it's really powerful when you do this
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financially. He said in every situation, when
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you're talking with people or when you're, you know, at work
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and maybe you've got a little bit of conflict or whatever's
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going on, anything you do, but particularly finance, he says,
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remain open handed. And it marked Grey.
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And I, if we didn't hold it, God could get things to us so he
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could get them through us. And we've had seasons,
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incredible seasons where we have done life really, really tight.
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We've not known where the next meal is coming from and yet are
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marked by God's faithfulness that a Bible college year for
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Gray and I. When Gray did college, he we
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made the decision to step out of faith and do college and to
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leave work to do so. I was a stay at home mum at the
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time, actually volunteering for Pastor Rick and Jenny and so
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there was no way possible for us to do this, but we did know that
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God had asked it of us. It always takes a step of faith
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and you don't know the answer ahead.
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You don't know the outcome ahead.
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You don't actually know except that the Lord is ordering your
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steps. When Gray and I did our budget
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at the end of Bible college year, we couldn't explain it.
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It was one of the first years we actually went back and audited
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the year financially. Even had to do it when you, like
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most of us, go and do our tax. Gray and I earned more finance
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that year, in a year of choosing to leave security and step out
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in faith. More money flowed through our
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world that year than any year ever that we had ever
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experienced. And Gray and I had walked some
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really financially prosperous years before that.
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We can only say it was the hand of God.
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I have the faith to believe that there are those here today who
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carry that same faith, who have a seed of faith to say it could
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be different for me, could be different for my life.
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And God wants to do something this morning as we humble
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ourselves, humble our hearts and open them to him this morning
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and say, God, you have permission to do something here.
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In my story, this is the significant thing about this.
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When the Sun, the prodigal son, returns home, the father doesn't
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talk about the inheritance, about the money squandered.
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The Big Brother did. Money always reveals our hearts.
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The Father just saw a son and he restored identity as the opening
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statement. This is what God does with you
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and I If we'd run to him, even if we've got nothing, even if we
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feel like, if you feel like everything's gone and it's
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always striving and always never enough, always the same cycle,
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always the same pattern, and it's left a mark on you.
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This is just. Will it always be the same?
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When you come to the Father, the first thing he's going to do is
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restore identity. He's going to remind you of your
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sonship and put a ring on your finger and throw a feast.
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This is not just a story of salvation.
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This is who our Father is and how He operates with you and I.
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The Holy Spirit heals identity before He rebuilds stewardship.
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God is restoring trust where money is brought trauma this
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morning. I wonder if you'd close your
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eyes as I just begin to draw this out because I believe that
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there is going to be ministry here this morning and that
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people are going to respond. God is restoring trust where
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money's brought trauma. There is healing this morning
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for scarcity thinking, for fear based control, for striving, for
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orphan thinking, for shame, for anxiety around provision.
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Because God is not merely trying to improve your finances.
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God is restoring sons and daughters today.
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And so today, I believe there are people here who are going to
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receive an identity this morning, a moment in the
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presence of God that is going to be restorative to your identity,
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not because you're bad with money.
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And I want you to hear that church this morning.
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For those of you who have the faith to respond this morning,
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it's not because you're bad with money, but because money has
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attached to pain. Somewhere along the journey and
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maybe today, you realise I don't actually trust God with my
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provision. I've been living in fear.
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I use control to feel safe. I have carried financial shame,
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but no longer. And I'm exhausted from striving.
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Or I'm tired of living in survival moment or survival
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mode. Today I'm going to run to the
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Father with every head bowed across this place.
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I want to ask you the question again.
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What is your first memory of money?
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And if this morning it is around any of these topics?
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Fear, conflict, stress, lack, embarrassment, instability.
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I'm wondering if in faith you would respond by standing today
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in an act of running to the Father.
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Would you just stand right where you're at?
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Nobody's looking around because God's going to meet you right
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where you're at. And there is going to be
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incredible healing. There's people standing all over
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this place. Thank you Jesus, oh Holy Spirit,
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Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit, thank you Jesus.
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Thank you for humble hearts this morning.
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Thank you for people who are brave enough to say in faith,
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you know what, I'm going to trust the Lord.
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What has been my journey thus far does not need to stay the
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same. So for those who have stood so
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bravely in faith this morning, God, I pray that you would meet
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them like the Father, met the Son and instill and speak
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identity, identity restoration over them where there has been
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great wounds that have come and like the enemy does to kill,
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steal and destroy. Right now.
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Lord God, I pray your Holy Spirit comes in and gently heals
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right now, ministers and heals right now.
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We break yokes that have come from generations that have
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passed down patterns of lack or scarcity or gambling and abuse
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or insecurities around this fear.
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And we break those things in the name of Jesus Christ, that these
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sons and daughters may walk forward with strength and with
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vigor and with faith, trusting you with your all that you have
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entrusted to them. I thank you, Lord God, that you
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are the Father who owns cattle on 1000 Hills.
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What a picture your provision. We can't even begin to
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understand your storehouses. We've never seen with our eyes.
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But this morning, we choose to lean into Your Holy Spirit's
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promptings and trust you