Latest / Self-Schooled / What If We Started With What’s Strong? | Strengths-Based Parenting with Jill Soucy

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What If We Started With What’s Strong? | Strengths-Based Parenting with Jill Soucy · Self-Schooled

• Heather DiNino (she/they): Welcome to Self-Schooled, a podcast where we explore how to understand our children and ourselves more clearly. I'm Heather, parent, educator, and micro school founder. And every week we talk to someone who gives us a different lens for understanding what it means to be human and parent other humans. Because the more we understand, the more connected we feel to the people who matter most. And the more confidently we can parent and find our family's own path. This is the education that actually matters. Let's dive in together. Today I'm here with Jill Susie, a Gallup certified strengths coast and founding partner with her partner of innate force coaching and consulting. Jill helps people understand the strengths that come naturally to them, like their innate force, get it? And then uses those strengths to create more confidence, purpose, and joy in their lives. Who couldn't use more of that? Jill Soucy: Right. Heather DiNino (she/they): She works with individuals, teams, organizations, and even families, which is one of the reasons I was so excited to have her here. And she has a 14-year-old, so she is completely immersed in this work professionally and personally. Jill's top five strengths are empathy, futuristic, connectedness, learner, and maximizer. And today Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): we're gonna break down what all of that means. So don't worry if those are like a foreign language to you right now. and we're gonna talk about how knowing our strengths can help us understand ourselves and how it can help us change the way we see our kids. So Jill, welcome to Self-Schooled. I'm so glad you're here. Jill Soucy: Thank you, Heather. I'm so happy to be here with you and I'm so excited to talk about strengths with you. Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah, because I thought about strengths with you could talk about strengths all day, every day, right? Like Jill Soucy: Absolutely. It's it's my my favorite thing. Heather DiNino (she/they): And my favorite thing is finding that thing that people can talk about all day, every day. Like that that passion is so clear. When we spoke before, when you start talking about it, you glow. So if people are watching it on YouTube, they'll probably see it. If you're listening to it, you can even probably hear the shift in people's energy when they get really excited. Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): so I'm excited to dive in. I wonder if we could just start with like How did this work even came into your life? Where did you find out about strengths finders or strengths Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): in general? Like, where did this come from? Jill Soucy: Yeah, I always say I blame my husband, who, as Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: you mentioned, he is my partner in life and business. so you know, pretty early in my my career, Chris brought home, I think it it was the Strength Finder 2.0. and he brought it home to me and said, I think this is gonna help you kind of figure out your your direction and how to kind of put your passion to work, if you will. and I took the assessment and honestly, it was life changing. I was working with college age youth at the time. my my jam has always been helping people kind of see what is great within them and helping them bring that out and use it because I'm one of those people who really very early as I was starting out in my career felt like I should be able to love what I do. Like, why should work have to, you know, be this laborious chore, right? Like the whole do what you love, love what you do. Like that that was very much the motto. so he gave it to me and it it really it was life-changing in how I worked with the people I was working with, but really for me in better understanding what made me strong and what I kind of had as natural motivations and interest and ability, Heather DiNino (she/they): Mm. Jill Soucy: and I was able to just apply it you know, into into my everyday. and it helped because he was using it at the time in human resources. and it really, it just it transformed my work. It became something that I used with the young people I was working with, and then eventually within organizations. so yeah, yeah, I could I could go on and on and on because I feel like I've had I've had like three careers with with strengths really. Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: you know, you mentioned I have a 14 year old. and so Chris and I were actually we had just founded our company, Innate Force. and then we had a child 15 years ago. and when he was just about to go into kindergarten is when Gallup came out with the strengths-based parenting book. And so that way it was just kind of like, finally, because we had really been trying to figure it out on our own with this little person, and it really helped us to understand. and see them in a completely different way. Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah, so it it seems like there's the Gallup strengths, which had o which had kind of historically existed as mostly for adults, even though like you and Chris were probably not the only ones trying to make it work for kids, but prior to the strengths based parenting book, it was mostly Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): for adults, right? Jill Soucy: Yeah. So they the Gallup organization developed the strength finder tool. It's now called Clifton Strengths. and it absolutely, it was really an employee engagement tool founded in, you know, positive psychology and kind of strengths-based psychology, if you will. They really wanted to go into the workforce. And instead of, you know, you think about performance reviews, right? Like, what are you doing wrong? What could you be doing better? instead they really wanted to flip it on its head, right? And say, so what are you doing well and how can you do more of that? so they had that tool and then they later developed for in schools for school age children for 10 to 14 year olds, this Strengths Explorer tool, which was kind of a pared-down tool. many of the themes, it's a fraction of the number of the themes as Strength Finder, but they you can kind of pair them up. You can see where that overlap is. and so they came out with that tool to work with school-aged children and to work with schools and all of that because they have really a a strong K through 12 presence as well. and then Strengths Based Parenting came out, I think it was around 2017, because they actually at Gallup out in Omaha, they have a childcare center right there. And so they had research right at their fingertips, right? And so they were like witnessing with both the children and the parents who worked for the company. how strengths were showing up. And so they started kind of conducting the research and they came up with that book to to bridge them, if you will. So yeah, so because we were so familiar in using really a number of Gallups tools, we both became early on, you know, Gallup certified strengths coaches. and so because we were using the the tool already it was just it was an exciting in terms of the timing, right? With our own child getting Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: ready to go into elementary school and like trying Heather DiNino (she/they): Right. Jill Soucy: to figure out like how do we help this kid get the most out of their life, right? And be joyful and love learning and all of that. It helps that Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: both for myself and for my child. Love of learning is like one of our strengths. So right. I'm sure you're Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Yeah. Jill Soucy: shocked to to hear that. But but yeah, so that's that's Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: kind of my understanding of the development of the tools. And we really were exclusively using Strength Finder you know, as a tool with organizations first and foremost. And then when we launched our business, we started adding on a lot more of the individual one on one coaching. And then eventually Heather DiNino (she/they): Okay. Jill Soucy: in two thousand and nineteen started to bring in that parent that parent coaching and kind of the idea of strength based parenting, because it's not just about parents. It's really anyone who works with children. Heather DiNino (she/they): Right, because so it sounds almost like it was like adults and then schools and then parenting. And so the youth bit was br which makes total sense from like an organizational perspective, I guess, because you're thinking of adults within organizations and then schools are still organizations, right? So it's like kids within organizations. Jill Soucy: First and foremost, yeah. Yep. Heather DiNino (she/they): and then mm kind of the more individual like s the smaller organization. I mean, families are organizations too, right? So that makes total sense. Jill Soucy: Yeah, absolutely. I would say the ultimate team. Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): That sounds like perfect timing for you because as you're trying to figure out, like, okay, we have all this knowledge of strengths. You and Chris must have at that point known yourselves pretty well through this process. But Jill Soucy: yeah. Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): then you have a child and you're kind of trying to figure it out, and then you get this book. Did your did the book help clarify things for you? Was it like was it Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): similar to what you're you were trying to figure out too? And you're like, yeah, that put it into Jill Soucy: Yeah, it you know, it was actually really funny, right? Because, you know, we're not we're not researchers. And so to see the research explained and everything and to put it into those themes, we were working with the 34 themes of, you know, strength finder as we're looking at, you know, this infant and then toddler, et cetera. you know, and it's really funny in the Strengths Explorer tool, one of the themes is presence. And so I have a theater kid. and you know, I had no idea I was gonna have a theater kid when he was born. and it's really funny because I can literally see in my mind's eye, he was about nine months old and we went in the toy store and there was a little, you know, kid's piano. and he crawled over to it. We sat him at the piano and he played and he like turned around, you know, and looked at us like, Did you catch that? and it's h absolutely hilarious because right presence is there. in his top themes. it absolutely ended up being very much who he became as a young person. And he would my my parents would laugh all the time. We ended up buying one of those little pianos. And every single time he would play on that piano, he would turn around and look, right? Like, you know, kind of did you did you see me doing that? And does like have that that presence, if you will. And also like another one, you mentioned my top five, I've futuristic, is my number two theme. and Ezra's had future thinker was one of his strengths explorer themes. and it's funny because that's often like the kids who are daydreamers, if you will, right? Like so, and and I have a neurodivergent ADHD kid, have ADHD myself. and so you know, I'm like, of course, like that futuristic thinking, like getting lost in thought of possibilities, like what could be. So it was it was validating, if nothing else, to get that. And I think because we were in so many spaces. Chris and I were both working in organizations, higher ed organizations, but because we had this kid who, you know, first was in a a daycare scenario, a child care center on campus for a several years, then went into a a K through eight school, and and also was getting, you know, like phys occupational therapy and speech therapy. And so we were in all these environments where we saw opportunities for strengths-based parenting to kind of be understood because again all these practitioners, teachers, et cetera, were kind of out there doing like trying to look for kids' strengths, but this like strengths based parenting gave us all a framework to work with. and Heather DiNino (she/they): Hm. Jill Soucy: so we were able to, you know, kind of almost create this it was like a passion project being able to bring strengths based parenting into the work that that we were already doing. Heather DiNino (she/they): So it sounds like in a way parenting changed your career path a bit, like changed your business, right? So you did innate force before having Ezra, right? But it but it definitely sounds like it evolved. Jill Soucy: Yeah, yeah. And it was it was organizationally based. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we were launching innate force when we were both still working. Then Chris kind of went full time with that. we had Ezra and then and then I eventually left MIT in two thousand and nineteen, to work full time on it. And so it was very much that again, we were able to kind of bring in that parenting piece because we were experiencing, we were so excited by it. I mean, it really just was so timely. and we were really, you know, Gallup is one of two tools that we use and recommend with clients for kind of getting at strengths. And they're they're different tools, but they have a lot of similarities and they really get you ultimately the same information. and so I lost my train of thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): That's okay. I had a I had a thought because as you were talking, I am also a parent of neurodivergent kids and and Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): you know the system doesn't always match the people I have found. And so I've had the same experience where the people that I've worked with, I've worked in public education, special ed, I've worked with so many people that try to find kids' strengths, but the system doesn't always work to find the strengths. Like I was doing evaluations for eligibility and it was all about their weakness or their downfalls or where they couldn't keep up or where they couldn't, you know. And so I think it's interesting to look at it from this strengths-based perspective with anyone but particularly neurodivergents. Like you were talking about ADHD and getting lost in their thoughts and daydreaming, and the way you said it even had such a positive connotation to it, right? It's like, my kid Yeah, right. Jill Soucy: Right. How lucky we are to be able to daydream. Heather DiNino (she/they): My kid is dreamy and he's like daydreaming and having like thoughts and visions and and ha like it's a good thing. Whereas in a certain setting that could definitely be portrayed Jill Soucy: Right. Heather DiNino (she/they): as or written about as you know, he can't pay attention, he can't, right? Like what he can't do. So it's I just love that shift so much. And that's something I practice a lot every day with myself, with my kids, with the kids I work with at school. It's like, how can we s wonder what that is about them that is positive, that is like a strength, right? Jill Soucy: Right. Yeah, I think as parents we really have to be aware, especially with schools, of this like deficit model thinking. And especially when you're dealing with any kind of kind of special education or just a need for accommodations. you know, everybody thinks differently. difference truly is our superpower. Like it really is. and schools just aren't they they have so much to do that it can be hard to recognize and live and live that. And so I do think it's where, you know, parents can be really helpful in starting this. And even as parents, you know, I think about like when I was a kid and I often have this example of when I would come home with homework at night. and, you know, my parents would be like, all right, like which subject are you doing the worst in? Let's start with that. It was just like, my gosh, what an unmotivating way to begin the slog of homework, right? Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Yep. Jill Soucy: and and so, you know, we just humans are very silly and we we do, we have this negativity bias and we we all we start from what's wrong. Like what's wrong with me, what's wrong with them, and how do we fix it? Like, how do we fix it? and so you know What I love about strengths-based parenting is it really is this philosophy and way of thinking that says, it doesn't mean that we're not gonna focus on what's wrong and the fact that there are weaknesses. But the first thing we're going to do is we're going to start with strength. And we're going Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: to say, like, what what is it that makes this child unique? and as parents, like, if we don't know anything about strengths or our own strengths, we might get our kids pegged completely wrong. And so that's why I think it's so important to first like learn about your own strengths. And you know, you can do that with a free survey. You can do that in a lot of different ways. but learn about your own strengths and then you can ask questions of your child. You can give your there are surveys that are age appropriate really for a child that's ages nine and up. and and helping them to identify that and then really you know, in in with adults with the strength finder tool we use this language called name it claim it aim it right and that is like Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: you notice what what is the strength right so you name it you give it a name and that's when you're taking these surveys right those are the top five those are the names if you will and it's important to not use them as labels right because they're a positive there's these are strengths. So you name it and then you claim it and the claiming is the saying Like, yeah, I've seen instances of when I've done this. And so as a parent, it's great because you really can say, like, you know, if a kid has caring is one of their strengths, like you can say to them, I I just witnessed, like, with your friends, you really are very caring. Like that's a great example. you know, and then you have a kid walking around saying, Yeah, you know what, I am very caring. and that aim it, right, is the like how do you productively apply it in your life? Like, how do you know this about yourself? And then say, like, I'm gonna use this strength, right? To to help myself, to help more people, et cetera. and so it it applies Heather DiNino (she/they): So Jill Soucy: to everyone. Heather DiNino (she/they): let's think about like you you had told me a story about, you know, basically like working with over a hundred people and having their strengths on outside your office, right? At MIT. Now Jill Soucy: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): that's overwhelming to me, but incredible. but like that that's more easily done. on a smaller scale in a family. Like I'm just envisioning Jill Soucy: Yeah, absolutely. Heather DiNino (she/they): in my house a little bored with like my strengths, my my spouse, my kid. Like it how cool would that be? And and also to recognize, Jill Soucy: Yeah. Yeah, no, absolutely. Heather DiNino (she/they): you know, like you said, there's no bad ones. They're all strengths. You're not Jill Soucy: Right, yeah. They're all good. Heather DiNino (she/they): like taking a quiz and you're like, I got the one I didn't want to get. They're all good. They're all good. Jill Soucy: Yeah. Well, and my strengths aren't your strengths. And so like as parents, sometimes we operate like our child is acting a certain certain way and we think like maybe that's bad or inappropriate or whatever because it's different than how we would act. But like if we understand what the motivation is from where that behavior is coming from, sometimes Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: it just needs a little bit of direction, you know. And sometimes we've just actually misunderstood the intent of it because we're thinking through our lens, right? Heather DiNino (she/they): Yes. Jill Soucy: yeah, you know, it's funny. I don't think a hundred and five people is overwhelming at all to have all their strengths on the wall. I'm like, it was a very clean, easy system. and it really is. Like that's the thing is that it's such a simple tool. It's just what I love about it so much. is it it really when you come down to it, it's so simple. It's just different from how we're all naturally wired to go about things. And so Heather DiNino (she/they): Right. Jill Soucy: I love that idea of having your strengths present. You know, we We had all our reports, our kids' report, everything like that for years. and my husband actually developed this thing called a strength star that it's you know a colorful representation because all of the themes has a different, you know, they're one of four colors because they fit into four domains. So there's like color in this star, and it has our top 10 strengths themes, if you will. and so we have them we have a whiteboard in our kitchen that we put up probably about two years ago so that we could kind of keep track of life, put reminders up, sometimes there's a quote, you know, whatever we need it for. Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: but he probably only about six months ago finally put up those three strength stars. Like we used to have me and him together, you know, so because we were partners in work and you know, we could look at kind of well, okay, where are our similarities? Where are we really different? And how how can we communicate with each other and how can we say like, you know. I really saw you showing up in that way, like validating that. I mean, I think that's one of the things that I think it's just so important in in families and then to to look at how you can, you know, bring it out to your larger family and into the school environment, any environment where your kids are, but it really helps children to feel seen. And it's that's a basic human need. Right. Heather DiNino (she/they): my gosh. Absolutely. And I'm thinking about when your parents were like, start with the worst first. Like Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): that was probably their their way of thinking was like that something about their strength was like, I'm gonna Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): get this over with because it's it's the like get it over with and then I'll feel better about it. And then, you know, so whatever their motivation was, that's the way they worked and they they put that on you, which we all do as parents, whether we realize it or not. Jill Soucy: Yeah. Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): Right? Like we're that is our lens. And it not even to our kids, and any relationship we have, we Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): have these we have our own stories in our head about the way things work or the way things make sense. Jill Soucy: Mm-hmm. Heather DiNino (she/they): And so we're putting that on our kids without realizing it, but it's giving it that language, that shared language that we can have with our kids too, where Jill Soucy: Yeah. Yes. Heather DiNino (she/they): we can say and maybe it's not even stating it, maybe it's asking a question to be curious, because it's like, wow, I noticed that you carried your shoes to the car instead of putting them on first. Like Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): I I mean, I wonder about that, right? Like, and you'll get Jill Soucy: Yep. Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): an answer that's probably very different than what you thought they were doing. Cause right, this is an actual example. Like, if right. Jill Soucy: Right. And some parents might just get annoyed and be like, Put your shoes on and go to the car Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah, or like if I was if I was carrying my shoes to the car, it would probably be because like I don't I get very claustrophobic and when we're all in the mud room, I'm just like, let me get out Jill Soucy: Mm-hmm. Heather DiNino (she/they): of here as quick as possible. I will grab my shoes and go. Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): But for one of my kids, when I asked them, it was like, well, there's a little wet spot in there that's gonna feel super annoying. But by the time we get to school, it'll be dry. So I'll be Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): able to put it on. And I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't have thought of that, right? And so like Jill Soucy: Yeah, we need you need to ask those questions. Like be curious. Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: We want them to be curious, right? And so we need to be curious too because they're not doing it for the reason that we would be doing it. It's you know. Heather DiNino (she/they): Doing right. And we and we want them to feel understood and heard, which can only happen when we're actually being curious instead of making assumptions about what we think it is. Right. Jill Soucy: Well, and that meaning making is important for them too, like to teach them to also be curious about why they're doing things. Because that's the thing is that kids don't just inherently know their strengths. Like they they need help in naming and claiming it as well. And so by Heather DiNino (she/they): Yes. Jill Soucy: asking those questions, it kind of teaches them how to not that children they ask lots of questions, but you know, but Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: it it helps them to be curious in different ways that makes meaning in Heather DiNino (she/they): Yes, and how important it is that they have the language for their strengths instead of the language for their weaknesses. Right. People Jill Soucy: Yeah. Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): are often, there is no shortage of people telling you or your kids or anyone what they're doing wrong or where they disagree or where they fall short. Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): So to be able to give language about their strengths is so powerful. So right. Jill Soucy: Yeah, I mean it's rooted in who hope and resilience, you know? It's like who wouldn't want more hopeful, joyful, resilient children who will grow up into adults someday. Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): Brazilian kids. That's all we can into the adult that they're supposed to be, right? By like finding their strengths and following their path. So Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): I want to try to give a really specific example because you talked about Ezra having presence and the piano example. How Jill Soucy: Yeah. Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): did you see that strength like over so like now they're a teenager, right? So how did you see that strength change or not maybe over the years? Jill Soucy: Yeah. Yeah, you know, I I feel like early on we saw some risk taking that was you know, things that like getting up on stage during assembly in kindergarten and singing their own song. And like, you know, as an adult, I was like, I I still wouldn't do that. and so there there was an element of risk taking, you know, it tied into academically things that they were interested in because you know, they became really a student of theater and and almost like witnessing how other people show up with presents. they also, you know, from a very young age, they were, you know, the line leader where they wanted to carry the backpack and things like that. And so there were some like leadership qualities and potential that, you know, that that we saw and that teachers would see and things like that. And so, You know, and then they really did become just an absolutely budding theater kid. and so so it definitely it was again, as soon as we had the language for it for little people, it was like, right. yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): Yes. Yep. And then I'm wondering if you shared that language with people that your family was working with, right? Like so did you share Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): it with like OTs, SLPs, his school based team or family extended Jill Soucy: Yeah, I mean yeah, you know Heather DiNino (she/they): family? Jill Soucy: we you know, some some of it we did. I you know, I f I rec can remember using the word presence, but I don't think that we we overdid it with using some of the the names that were used, but instead just trying to explain like the lens through which we saw our child or what it would be is that you know, you're having a parent teacher conference and The the teacher, right, would be validating these things that we already knew to be true about our child. And so we would kind of almost validate it back, right? To be like, yeah, you know, we noticed that too, or we love that about them. you know, sometimes we did have to be mindful ourselves about when these strengths would show up in less positive ways, right? 'Cause that's true as adults as well. Like I love coaching adult clients and having them share with their spouses their, you know, top ten themes and their spouses going, yeah, that's, you know, totally you like that's what's so annoying about you. Because the reality is is that, you know, when we overuse a strength, it can become a weakness. If we don't productively apply it, like it can it can be our own Achilles heel. Like it's it's really that mindfulness of how how we Name it, claim it, aim it, like how we use it. Because if we if we don't, it it's not just wasted, but it really can can mess things up for us. So, you know, we would see that with teachers, with our with our own kid. And we would, you know, ask for teachers' advice too, kind of how do we help shape this? And then also, you know, at home and when we had opportunities, obviously we would do that. and yeah, and then definitely, I mean, we were very fortunate, the group that we we work with. that did OT and speech therapy. they again, like they were already doing this work without knowing really what Clifton Strengths was. And we ended up, they became a client of ours in 2019 and we ended up training the entire staff because they were so into it. Like and we just, you know, we happen to be there every Friday night with our kid getting services and we would just, you know, talk about it. I mean we we, you know, most of our clients are word of mouth. we don't go out and advertise or anything because We get just so excited about it and people are like like I want to know that for myself. Like and I think that would help me. because it it is. It's it's it's truly life-changing, yet it's so simple. Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah, I mean joy is contagious. And so when you find people that love what they do, you're like, wait, what do you what do you do? I want to know more about that, right? Didn't you help Jill Soucy: Right. I would like to do some of that. Yeah, yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): with the school that he went to as well? Jill Soucy: Yeah, yeah. I mean, we did for the like Parents Association, we did a presentation there as well. and we were just always talking with parents about it. I think that the the school very much has in their mission that it's all about helping children live their strengths. And again, they weren't doing it from a like they weren't a Gallup, you know, sponsored school or or like a strengths-based school. Cause there are schools. there does in fact the state of Rhode Island is a strength-based state. quite literally, small Heather DiNino (she/they): Really? Jill Soucy: but mighty. Yeah. And so they're really Gallup has people, you know, all over the country and so many people have become certified and used the tool and just seen how life changing it is for again engagement, like just engagement writ large. and in so schools, you know, they see some you know, research shows that between fifth grade and twelfth grade engagement. completely plummets, right? Just like employee engagement. And it and so kids that know their strengths and schools that are able to understand kids' strengths and validate strengths, that tend they tend to do better and have, you know, better results in terms of engagement. And so there are schools that have become just like organizations. Chris and I have worked with a number of organizations where they're strengths based organizations. Every single person takes the tool coming in and you know they do repeated training and they build it into all of their kind of employee development processes and so schools have done that where again you're starting first with the administrators and the teachers. They learn about their strengths so therefore they learn how to work even better together and to have that common language. And then the Heather DiNino (she/they): Mm. Mm-hmm. Jill Soucy: kids also take the surveys and the kids, you know, they'll give them kind of the report if you will and the kids are like, it's a book about me. Look how awesome I am. Wow, I'm really awesome. Heather DiNino (she/they): Yes. Jill Soucy: Yeah, and you know, and Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah, you are. Jill Soucy: and it kinda comes that you know, it becomes this language that people talk about strengths as opposed to just again that deficit, you know, here's what you could be doing better. Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah, I struggle with homework or I didn't do well on that test or I can't sit still and pay attention. Yeah. Instead, they're getting the language of like Jill Soucy: Absolutely, and just beating themselves up. Yeah. Yep. Heather DiNino (she/they): why and how that makes them, you know, strong. And I mean, I know for a fact t teachers want more engagement. They need more engagement, right? Like Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): that is one of the number one things that they are trying actively to figure Jill Soucy: Yeah, it works for everyone. Heather DiNino (she/they): out how to do. And it is often, it is slightly one of my pet peeves when teachers go Pinteresty to try to get Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): more engagement. Like you don't always have to do a song and dance and have a pretty bulletin board. You actually need to know the students that are in front of you. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Jill Soucy: No. Yeah, have a conversation. Let kids showcase their talents. Like 'cause every everybody has talents. Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. And I'm thinking about these strengths in terms of like, you know, that star I'm dying to see the star that Chris created and all the colors. But it's like, yeah, we're Jill Soucy: Yeah. Yeah. I'll make one for you. Heather DiNino (she/they): We're not strengths like we're not living in isolation. We're living with these other humans. And so it's like, yes, we have these strengths. yay, that's awesome. And also, it might not always match up cleanly with the strengths of the other humans that we're raising or living with. Right. So that's also like Jill Soucy: Right. Yeah. And the the language of it gives you relations like it helps with relationship building, right? Because Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: you're learning about each other and in ways that if you didn't have those conversations, you you might not know or you might create a false narrative. Heather DiNino (she/they): Right. Jill, I think we have to do more podcast episodes on this because I have so many other I've Jill Soucy: I would love to. Heather DiNino (she/they): been like, there are little notes I have that don't make sense yet and there are all these directions I could go in. I I Jill Soucy: Yeah. Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): wanna wrap up with kind of if parents are wanting to know their strengths and or their kids' strengths, what's Jill Soucy: Yeah, yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): like the first easy step they can take if this is all brand new? Jill Soucy: Yeah, absolutely. I think that you're gonna put it in your show notes, but there'll be a link for again the VIA, which is the Values in Action survey. So that's the free survey. That's the quickest, easiest way to do it. they were a charitable organization that created this tool many years ago. It's scientifically based, it's wonderful. they refer to it as character strengths, and there are twenty-four of them. and so it will You take it for free, and it will give you kind of the list and order of the 24. They now have you can buy all sorts of reports, which are really helpful because I feel as though for somebody who's motivated, those reports will really it's like getting a coach in a box, if you will, like to get started on it. and Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah. Jill Soucy: then the other is the Gallups, both the strength finder tool as well as the strengths explorer, which is again, it's geared for children 10 to 10 to 14. If you have Heather DiNino (she/they): Okay. Jill Soucy: a 14-year-old, they really can take the strength finder tool. And if you have someone as young as nine, they absolutely can take the strength explorer tool. But there's both the parent and the child. And so there is a cost for those. Those come with the reports. And so that's kind of the, you know, the differential there. So I think that that's a great place to start. Heather DiNino (she/they): Okay. And then if they're like, I wanna dive in and work with you, Jill, please come train our Jill Soucy: Yeah. Heather DiNino (she/they): team, come train our school, come train our family, help us figure this out. Where can people find you most easily? Jill Soucy: Yeah. Yeah. I think the easiest is honestly going through through our website, which is archaic at this point. It's the original website. it might change in the near future. But Heather DiNino (she/they): No Jill Soucy: if you just go to innateforce.com, you can reach both Chris and I that way. You can email me at Jill at innateforce.com. and that's really the the best way to just be in touch and I'm always happy to jump on a call and and talk strengths. because it's it's great. Heather DiNino (she/they): Yeah, Jill's helping me understand my strengths. So all of that will Jill Soucy: god. Heather DiNino (she/they): be linked in the show notes in the description. Jill Soucy: That's great. Heather DiNino (she/they): And I have so many ideas for more podcast episodes to do. So definitely stay tuned for that because I think we have a lot more conversations to have. So thank you, Jill, Jill Soucy: That's wonderful. Yeah, that's great. Heather DiNino (she/they): for being on self-schooled today. Jill Soucy: Thank you so much for having me. It's been great.