Transcript

Mansplaining · I Do, Part 2

0:13
Speaker 1: Welcome to I Do Part two, the podcast that's all
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Speaker 1: about finding love the second time around. Here we are
0:20
Speaker 1: Thelma and Louise, still single, still trying to do our best,
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Speaker 1: and we are luckily in Pebble Beach at the pro
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Speaker 1: am with three amazingly hot, age appropriate guys also from
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Speaker 1: The Bachelor. So welcome. We have Chalk, Gary and Guy,
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Speaker 1: and it's Thelma and Louise. And as much as we
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Speaker 1: would love to grill you all day long about The Bachelor,
0:42
Speaker 1: we are actually here to talk to the three of
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Speaker 1: you about Chapter two, dating post the TV show, what
0:49
Speaker 1: it was like pre and just kind of get into
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Speaker 1: the minds of you three amazing.
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Speaker 2: I'm going to make a slight correction, not the Bachelor,
0:56
Speaker 2: the Golden.
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Speaker 3: Oh oh sorry, you just look so young.
1:00
Speaker 2: We are. We are the Golden Bachelor's Golden Bachelors.
1:04
Speaker 4: From the Golden Batte.
1:05
Speaker 1: But because we're also in your age range, we just
1:07
Speaker 1: look at you.
1:09
Speaker 4: I'll take that. I think.
1:13
Speaker 2: Dating, Yeah, let me slide closer to the guy over here.
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Speaker 5: My dating life's been great after the show, different days,
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Speaker 5: I met all kinds of women, a lot of trouble.
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Speaker 1: But how your dating life change post the show? Like,
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Speaker 1: what was that. I'd love to know the dating kind
1:28
Speaker 1: of pre the show.
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Speaker 4: Pre the show, you know, I I dated differently. I
1:34
Speaker 4: dated locally in the Reno area. But then I decided to,
1:39
Speaker 4: like a lot of us at this age, I delved
1:41
Speaker 4: into the dating apps.
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Speaker 3: Oh so fun.
1:45
Speaker 1: It's crazy to tell them our dating app situation.
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Speaker 4: Interestingly enough, I would actually say, you know, I met
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Speaker 4: a lot of very very nice, fun, intelligent, you know
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Speaker 4: women on the dating apps, oftentimes from me, though they
2:00
Speaker 4: were you know, yeah, I had travel, you know, to
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Speaker 4: to be able to actually see them in person because
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Speaker 4: they don't don't necessarily live in the Reno Tahoe area.
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Speaker 5: Can I ask a question real quick though, percentage wise?
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Speaker 5: How many of their pictures look like them?
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Speaker 3: That's my question, and then we'll give you.
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Speaker 1: I also want to know your age range too, because
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Speaker 1: that's the whole thing we experience in la Is. Guys
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Speaker 1: want to date.
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Speaker 6: Way younger or they put you know, their age, They
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Speaker 6: put their ages sixty and then in their comments they
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Speaker 6: say my age is actually seventy two, and I'm like,
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Speaker 6: that didn't make sense.
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Speaker 3: There's a lot of attack.
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Speaker 5: Let's jump to this because I told you I'll ask anything. Okay,
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Speaker 5: So women do that all the time and they go, well,
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Speaker 5: guys want younger women. So we'll start with you. Is
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Speaker 5: it Thelma or Luise?
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Speaker 4: Theoma?
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Speaker 5: Louise, I'm Thema. What's catuemb the youngest guy?
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Speaker 7: Well, I'm not gonna lie post divorce and my divorce
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Speaker 7: was a bit unique. My recipe for kind of moving
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Speaker 7: on was a little different.
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Speaker 3: And so I got divorced. At how old was I?
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Speaker 1: It was twenty fourteen for both of us, and we're
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Speaker 1: so you were forty one forty.
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Speaker 3: One, so I probably like, I mean twenty five, but
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Speaker 3: like I telling you, it was, it was. It was one.
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Speaker 3: It was it was literally like two.
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Speaker 7: Or three for six months, and then it was like, okay,
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Speaker 7: many we have nothing in common.
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Speaker 3: They'd just gotten their first credit.
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Speaker 5: Card and like we get n I do think part
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Speaker 5: of the journey in life too, is you need to
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Speaker 5: do that to see if that's what you want.
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Speaker 3: Oh I didn't want it.
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Speaker 7: I just needed to like heal and that was like
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Speaker 7: my process and then and then I was like I'm
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Speaker 7: ready for people that I can actually relate to.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, and you.
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Speaker 1: So when I first got divorced, I was on a
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Speaker 1: girl's trip to New York, and my friends were like,
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Speaker 1: we're going to do something different for you, and so
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Speaker 1: there poured me out there and they found some young,
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Speaker 1: hot guy and you basically sent him home with I
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Speaker 1: don't even know if there was uber than ten years
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Speaker 1: about ten years ago and it was literally one and done,
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Speaker 1: and I was like, this is just not my jam,
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Speaker 1: Like I prefer age appropriate. Definitely, a lot of my
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Speaker 1: friends in LA date younger guys and they have to
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Speaker 1: pay for them, and it's all I don't even know.
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Speaker 7: Also, this could be a misconception, but I feel like,
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Speaker 7: as a woman, I don't want to date somebody too
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Speaker 7: young because I don't want to feel old. And I
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Speaker 7: think a misconception that I have is do men want
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Speaker 7: to date younger women because then it makes them feel
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Speaker 7: kind of either young or it's a trophy.
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Speaker 2: And yeah, and so for me dating someone younger, I
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Speaker 2: would not go below ten years below my age. I
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Speaker 2: want someone that's refreshing.
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Speaker 1: In Los Angeles, ye age appropriate for.
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Speaker 2: Me because coming up through the ranks like we do,
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Speaker 2: we look they are still finding their way and I'm
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Speaker 2: at a point in my life now where I don't
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Speaker 2: want to help you find in your way. I don't
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Speaker 2: have time because it's just not worth it and it's
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Speaker 2: very expensive. As you can imagine dating someone younger who's
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Speaker 2: expecting an older guy to step in and be like
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Speaker 2: this totally. So it's ten years for me, I will
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Speaker 2: go fifty.
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Speaker 4: Five, but not below that.
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Speaker 5: He's sixty five, doesn't he look good for me? Amazing?
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Speaker 3: Golden, amazing? Okay? Yeah, you what about you guy? What
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Speaker 3: what's your age?
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Speaker 7: Like?
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Speaker 4: Yeah, let's take kind of too criteria with that, and
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Speaker 4: I would, you know, be in the same lines as
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Speaker 4: Gary here somewhere around ten years. But you know, I
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Speaker 4: don't put in an absolute age because I mean if they
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Speaker 4: were fifty three and you know there was a connection, yea,
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Speaker 4: I would go down. In other words, no, no, you know, no,
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Speaker 4: you know, you know it would be flattering. But the
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Speaker 4: reality is that you alluded to you just don't have
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Speaker 4: many things in common. I always like to say that
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Speaker 4: if I have to explain to him who led Zeppelins,
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Speaker 4: we got a problem.
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Speaker 7: Well. And also, I mean it's not pretty to talk about,
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Speaker 7: but what about the health.
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Speaker 3: I mean, let's be honest.
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Speaker 4: Well, and that's the other is that, you know, especially
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Speaker 4: if somebody is younger and they actually would be interested
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Speaker 4: in going out with you to say, you know, I'm
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Speaker 4: sixty six, you know, and let's say you're forty six. Well,
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Speaker 4: when you're my age, I'm going to be eighty six
6:20
Speaker 4: years old. Do you really want that?
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Speaker 5: Women?
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Speaker 4: Women a much better than than men do.
6:25
Speaker 1: So you three of aged really well.
6:28
Speaker 4: I do have a story for you. That's that's a
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Speaker 4: that's comforting.
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Speaker 5: You know the date that Joan and I had at Disneyland,
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Speaker 5: the first one on one date. The execs give you
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Speaker 5: a whole and I came back and I said, guys,
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Speaker 5: I'm going to start.
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Speaker 1: Giving this story. No, we saw it on the show,
6:42
Speaker 1: but what.
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Speaker 5: You didn't see here is I said, Okay, I'm going
6:44
Speaker 5: to give this prize to which one of you bachelor
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Speaker 5: guys bachelorette guys has been with the youngest woman. And
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Speaker 5: I will not tell you because it's guycode, but it
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Speaker 5: would absolutely surprise the fans who'd been with the youngest woman.
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Speaker 3: Oh you have you have to say, gee, I love guy.
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Speaker 4: Not this guy.
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Speaker 3: So you're the guy, you know.
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Speaker 4: Because you said guy and I'm thinking it was not guys.
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Speaker 4: Brother of advanced.
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Speaker 5: They could sit there and think about that, but it
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Speaker 5: was somebody you would least expect.
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Speaker 3: I love guy.
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Speaker 5: Remember who it was?
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Speaker 4: Yes?
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Speaker 1: Yeah, By the way, the whole frat aspect. Can you
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Speaker 1: imagine going back in time after like living the lives
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Speaker 1: you live and then literally going back into a frat
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Speaker 1: house mentality? How much fun to do that for another
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Speaker 1: kind of sliver?
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Speaker 4: Well, ironically we were roommates.
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Speaker 7: No, my gosh, no one of you guys are sitting
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Speaker 7: so cozily on that couch together.
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Speaker 2: If it were any of us, we'd be the same
7:34
Speaker 2: way for the for the whole crew.
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Speaker 4: We had a lot of late conversation. Yeah, it was great.
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Speaker 1: Did you two do apps? Also?
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Speaker 2: No, I did an app like twenty thirty years ago,
7:46
Speaker 2: not thirty.
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Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm really sure my age.
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Speaker 2: Uh, it was like around the early two thousands, and
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Speaker 2: I had some pretty good luck with that because it
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Speaker 2: was like the third time in that was someone that
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Speaker 2: I ended up being with for like eight.
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Speaker 4: To ten years. Wow, So it.
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Speaker 2: Worked out in my favor. But now I don't that's
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Speaker 2: that's not my choice of.
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Speaker 1: So do you find it easy to meet women in
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Speaker 1: kind of real life? I mean, I assume after the
8:17
Speaker 1: show it's probably also easier.
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Speaker 7: Well, I mean, has your approached I guess you had
8:23
Speaker 7: your kind of pre the show and then post show.
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Speaker 7: Do you feel like your approach to dating is different
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Speaker 7: as a result of the show and kind of what
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Speaker 7: is that now?
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Speaker 4: These guys are getting a lot of action.
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Speaker 5: I mean, the women are coming out of it's as guys.
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Speaker 2: It's very flattering, it's very flattering. But I've become more selective.
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Speaker 2: I become more confident in my own skin, saying I
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Speaker 2: don't want, I don't need, I'm not looking, and so
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Speaker 2: you know these's that's just not.
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Speaker 4: Going to work.
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Speaker 3: So you're discerning, Yeah, very much.
8:57
Speaker 4: So very much.
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Speaker 2: So how about you guys regarding you know what?
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Speaker 4: I yeah, you know, it has been interesting phenomenon since,
9:07
Speaker 4: you know, after the show, because you know, I didn't
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Speaker 4: realize it would I would be recognized as much as
9:14
Speaker 4: I am, even you know, if you go to Vegas.
9:16
Speaker 4: I'm just was kind of just blown away, like how
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Speaker 4: many people stop me. Didn't realize how popular the show
9:22
Speaker 4: was and how many people really tune in. And they
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Speaker 4: they really you know, different different guys. They resonated with
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Speaker 4: their character, not the characters, but their personality.
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Speaker 1: But that is such a universal theme, right, so it
9:35
Speaker 1: just appeals to so many everybody.
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Speaker 4: Basically it is. And so yeah, I mean, you know people,
9:41
Speaker 4: you know, I have been approached you know, more than once,
9:44
Speaker 4: less than a thousand times. I don't know, somewhere around there.
9:47
Speaker 4: But it's you know a lot of times. You know,
9:50
Speaker 4: you have to be very careful, especially if they slide
9:53
Speaker 4: into your DM because everybody, yeah, they maybe they want
9:59
Speaker 4: you know, just there five minutes of fame or whatever.
10:01
Speaker 4: It is like that.
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Speaker 3: Okay, So what's the best story you've had thus far?
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Speaker 4: He does have a good one.
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Speaker 2: He's got at least one good Come.
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Speaker 3: On, you've been on national television.
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Speaker 4: You got to tell us, yes, yeah, yes I did.
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Speaker 4: I did meet somebody who you know, just kind of
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Speaker 4: reached out. And oftentimes you get these messages and it's
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Speaker 4: almost like fan mail. They just are there and they're
10:28
Speaker 4: so supportive. I've not received one negative message from anyone.
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Speaker 4: It's it's it's overwhelming. Actually, the number of very positive comments.
10:38
Speaker 3: Are they writing from prison?
10:40
Speaker 7: You know?
10:40
Speaker 4: I don't know that. Yeah, oh my god, but I
10:43
Speaker 4: can tell you I'll finish going going back. You know, Yes,
10:48
Speaker 4: I have been catfished.
10:50
Speaker 1: Have you several times interesting. So have you guys dated
10:56
Speaker 1: kind of anyone specific since the show? Like, have you
11:01
Speaker 1: formed a connection with anybody?
11:02
Speaker 4: Can I go back?
11:03
Speaker 5: One thing I do want to say about dating younger.
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Speaker 5: I have a twenty five year old daughter and she
11:07
Speaker 5: and I are very close, and she goes, Dad, if
11:09
Speaker 5: you ever date anyone close to my age, I'm bringing
11:12
Speaker 5: a sixty five year old man home.
11:14
Speaker 1: So it's my kids have a strong opinion too, they
11:18
Speaker 1: said to me. They came on from college and they said, Mom,
11:21
Speaker 1: we're getting very concerned about your options. I was like,
11:23
Speaker 1: what do you mean. They go, it just seems like
11:25
Speaker 1: it's like the twenty five year old or you know,
11:28
Speaker 1: the eighty year old, and I was like, wow, that
11:30
Speaker 1: sounds pretty grim. Do you have a preference, they said
11:33
Speaker 1: the older guy. I said, okay, good to know that's awesome.
11:38
Speaker 7: But I think ten years is good. I like your
11:40
Speaker 7: ten years, so that's kind of mine as well. I
11:41
Speaker 7: think ten years because ten years can be physical, but
11:45
Speaker 7: it also like people can be really an old or
11:48
Speaker 7: a young But I think using ten years is kind
11:50
Speaker 7: of the rain good benchmin.
11:52
Speaker 5: I just think if you're in love, let it have Oh,
11:55
Speaker 5: says the guy I worked out for Jones nine muths
11:58
Speaker 5: older than I am.
12:01
Speaker 1: I mean, do you believe an instant connection or do
12:04
Speaker 1: you guys believe more in a slow burn in terms
12:07
Speaker 1: of the longevity or the health of a relationship.
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Speaker 5: Personally speaking, my relationships, the serious ones had been really
12:14
Speaker 5: first impression really where you just go like butterfly. But
12:17
Speaker 5: there's been a lot that, you know, you go hey,
12:19
Speaker 5: I kind of like them when it fizzled out. But
12:21
Speaker 5: with Joan, I can't speak for her that it was
12:23
Speaker 5: pretty much instant.
12:25
Speaker 1: And what about the concept of like when you feel
12:27
Speaker 1: a spark, it's almost like a warning signal or like
12:31
Speaker 1: a mirror of your childhood one.
12:32
Speaker 3: That's you, that's I don't feel that way really yeah, Or.
12:35
Speaker 5: You just have bad decisions. I mean, you know you
12:38
Speaker 5: like a bad type of person. And I shouldn't say bad,
12:40
Speaker 5: but I've said this on other podcasts. My mother had
12:43
Speaker 5: this big thing going. If that significant other than your
12:46
Speaker 5: person in your life doesn't make your life better, it's
12:48
Speaker 5: the wrong person. And it's pretty simple. They need to
12:51
Speaker 5: make your life better. Not that they're all about you,
12:54
Speaker 5: but your life is better because they're in your life.
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Speaker 4: I agree with that.
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Speaker 1: They also need to elevate you, Like we're really big
12:59
Speaker 1: on people.
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Speaker 2: That fell instant connection thing is is really important because
13:03
Speaker 2: I think that there is an attraction that you have
13:07
Speaker 2: to have for them physically and you're feeling something emotionally
13:12
Speaker 2: and the adrenaline that comes from that you say, this
13:16
Speaker 2: is someone I want to spend some time with so
13:19
Speaker 2: ultimately yeah, and get to know. So from that perspective,
13:22
Speaker 2: I think it is important to have that initial attraction
13:26
Speaker 2: of Wow, this I'm feeling something right now. It's like
13:30
Speaker 2: an energy yes, totally, totally.
13:32
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know for me it's it's I would say
13:36
Speaker 4: that immediate. I would say that when I've had, you know,
13:39
Speaker 4: the really intense relationships, I know, within days.
13:54
Speaker 3: Okay, so how do you follow up?
13:55
Speaker 7: So you have you meet somebody you have this instant
13:57
Speaker 7: connection and chemistry, and I guess it's kind of interesting
14:00
Speaker 7: talking to you right now because you guys are both
14:03
Speaker 7: being sought after by many, right, so it might not
14:05
Speaker 7: be we haven't based i mean leveled out right, Not
14:08
Speaker 7: that you're ever going to level out.
14:09
Speaker 3: I'm sure it's just going to have the pick of
14:10
Speaker 3: the litter rocket. You have the pick of the letter
14:12
Speaker 3: right now. But at your age and our age.
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Speaker 7: When you meet somebody and you like them right away,
14:17
Speaker 7: like do you come on strong?
14:18
Speaker 3: Do you play games? Do you you know what I mean?
14:21
Speaker 7: Way to customary three days before texting them, Like what's
14:23
Speaker 7: your approach?
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Speaker 2: I think it's more natural where if I'm feeling the
14:28
Speaker 2: need to text or call and vice versas, so it's
14:32
Speaker 2: a two way street. And if I'm getting the age, yeah, yeah,
14:36
Speaker 2: the games as I mean, you're done.
14:39
Speaker 3: Nobody likes somebody who smiles you. I mean, let's just
14:41
Speaker 3: be honest.
14:42
Speaker 4: To right totally.
14:43
Speaker 5: Yeah, some people do and they want somebody. I know.
14:46
Speaker 5: I've got people in my life that they're my mother
14:48
Speaker 5: or husband. They took a trip for eighteen months. They
14:50
Speaker 5: were together every day.
14:51
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, it's amazing.
14:52
Speaker 5: And their lives were just built around each other. But
14:54
Speaker 5: I think that's the exception or other people like Jonah
14:57
Speaker 5: and I we kind of like those three or four
14:58
Speaker 5: days where were we have a do our laundry. To
15:00
Speaker 5: not have that pressure when you get older, it's just
15:03
Speaker 5: I can do the things I need to.
15:04
Speaker 1: And we talk about that a lot, like not needing
15:06
Speaker 1: the twenty four to seven yeah, kind of day to day.
15:09
Speaker 7: But I think It's also different because if you have
15:11
Speaker 7: been single for a while or divorced or you know,
15:14
Speaker 7: on your own, you get used to your autonomy and
15:17
Speaker 7: your independence and then you want somebody. But it's like,
15:20
Speaker 7: how do you incorporate a significant other into your life?
15:24
Speaker 7: And I always have the question for people, like do
15:26
Speaker 7: you see it as a traditional relationship there? You want
15:30
Speaker 7: to be with somebody you know, live under the same roof,
15:33
Speaker 7: be with each other all the time, versus distance, versus
15:36
Speaker 7: a companion that you you know, kind of have your
15:38
Speaker 7: cake and eat it too. And I don't mean that
15:40
Speaker 7: in any salacious way. I just mean, like, what do
15:43
Speaker 7: you think on that?
15:44
Speaker 5: I think that's why you date. You spend time with people. Yeah,
15:46
Speaker 5: you know, it comes back to the smother and some
15:48
Speaker 5: people want contact all the time. Other people don't, and
15:51
Speaker 5: you spend that time with them. You go, this is
15:52
Speaker 5: what I'm comfortable, this is what I like in my life.
15:55
Speaker 5: And you could love somebody, but it's just the little
15:56
Speaker 5: things could push you apart.
15:58
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally, you know.
15:59
Speaker 2: As and as Chuck mentioned earlier about his mom and
16:02
Speaker 2: her husband at eighteen monthly, I think it's generationally that
16:06
Speaker 2: age group was more connected. Our age group is more
16:11
Speaker 2: I need a couple days every so often too recalibrate.
16:15
Speaker 7: To recalibrate, the younger group is like, we're going to
16:18
Speaker 7: text from a different building.
16:19
Speaker 2: I'm learning the game, so I'm going to play the game.
16:22
Speaker 2: I'm not going to reach out for three days. I'm
16:24
Speaker 2: not I can't call them within a certain period of time.
16:27
Speaker 2: So I think generationally it makes a difference at our age, right,
16:31
Speaker 2: that's a good point totally.
16:34
Speaker 1: I just think also at our age, like in terms
16:36
Speaker 1: of the spirit of no games, like what happens when
16:39
Speaker 1: you go out with somebody or on a date and
16:42
Speaker 1: you just to your point, you don't feel it right away?
16:45
Speaker 1: How do you kind of directly say, like I didn't
16:48
Speaker 1: feel a love connection or I mean, you're not gonna
16:51
Speaker 1: we're not going to got somebody at our age right
16:53
Speaker 1: direct please.
17:00
Speaker 4: I'll the last. I'll the last. You know, if I
17:04
Speaker 4: meet somebody and I'm not, you know, feeling the connection
17:07
Speaker 4: right away, I don't prolong it at all. I think
17:11
Speaker 4: it's a disservice to the other person too, you know,
17:14
Speaker 4: if they're developing emotional attachment to you and you're not
17:18
Speaker 4: to them. So I usually just say, you know, gosh.
17:21
Speaker 4: And most time they're really nice, you know, wonderful people,
17:24
Speaker 4: but you're just not feeling it. So I just you know,
17:26
Speaker 4: politely say, you know, I'm just exactly that you.
17:30
Speaker 3: Do it face to face.
17:32
Speaker 4: At this point.
17:33
Speaker 1: Not after one or two dates though, No, But I mean, oh,
17:37
Speaker 1: I'm saying one or two dates and to their.
17:40
Speaker 4: Face, I well, at least still on a telephone conversation,
17:44
Speaker 4: if not in their face.
17:45
Speaker 3: No, I'm not like, is it at the restaurant where
17:47
Speaker 3: you're like, you.
17:48
Speaker 4: Know, oh no, no, no, no, because you want to like,
17:51
Speaker 4: you know, kind of everything you know, think about. It's
17:55
Speaker 4: just but oftentimes I know, within.
17:57
Speaker 1: Fifteen minutes and you can kind of read the root.
17:59
Speaker 1: I mean think I've been on dates where I can
18:01
Speaker 1: tell maybe they're not into me or I'm not in
18:03
Speaker 1: I mean, we all can kind of pick up on
18:05
Speaker 1: the cues now, right, Yeah.
18:07
Speaker 5: So I think it's it's a lot of respect for
18:08
Speaker 5: the other person too, though, because I don't think you
18:10
Speaker 5: have a right to sit there and go I don't
18:12
Speaker 5: like you because of.
18:12
Speaker 3: This, right.
18:13
Speaker 5: Oh, And it's you know, sometimes you can ghost them sometimes,
18:16
Speaker 5: you know, and if you get ghosted, there's no interest.
18:19
Speaker 3: But I think treat people you want to treat it.
18:21
Speaker 3: I mean, I know it's a simple role.
18:23
Speaker 5: But then I think it comes back to what obligation
18:25
Speaker 5: do you have you go out with somebody for a
18:26
Speaker 5: date or two? Are you obligated to say I don't.
18:28
Speaker 4: Really like you? Okay?
18:29
Speaker 3: But see here's my problem. We kind of differ on this.
18:33
Speaker 7: I we both believe the chivalry is not dead, so
18:37
Speaker 7: we love like a true gentleman open your door.
18:40
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a garage.
18:42
Speaker 3: We really like that.
18:44
Speaker 7: But I feel a little uncomfortable because of course I'm
18:47
Speaker 7: flattered and appreciate when people buy me dinner, but then
18:51
Speaker 7: I kind of feel this obligation sometimes where I'm like, oh,
18:55
Speaker 7: like I can't leave the table.
18:56
Speaker 3: Even if I'm not interested because he just bought me dinner.
18:59
Speaker 3: And that's rude. And you know, I mean, I don't know,
19:01
Speaker 3: it's just it gets complicated.
19:02
Speaker 5: That's just day why. I have a question for you too,
19:05
Speaker 5: So let's go talk about paying for dinner. What are
19:09
Speaker 5: your opinions on who should pay for dinner?
19:12
Speaker 1: There's some meditation here, No, there's not. I mean, look
19:15
Speaker 1: for me, it's like I'm raising two boys, and you know,
19:19
Speaker 1: this is something we talk about we believe in chivalry.
19:21
Speaker 1: We're in our fifties. I like when a man, you
19:26
Speaker 1: know in the beginning, has paid for my dinner. I'm
19:28
Speaker 1: happy to treat and do things and do special things,
19:31
Speaker 1: but I don't.
19:34
Speaker 3: I don't know. I believe in chivalry still.
19:36
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm with you one hundred percent, and I'm raising.
19:38
Speaker 1: My boys and I'm raising my boys that way.
19:40
Speaker 4: Agree more. Yeah, totally, I would not. There's no way
19:43
Speaker 4: I would. For the first day, I would not pay
19:47
Speaker 4: for it.
19:47
Speaker 2: Well, I also think.
19:48
Speaker 7: If you so he's saying, if somebody asks me, if
19:50
Speaker 7: a man asks me out to dinner, you have invited
19:53
Speaker 7: me to dinner.
19:54
Speaker 3: So I would expect you to pay. But I will
19:56
Speaker 3: tell you I wouldn't expect.
19:57
Speaker 7: I would be appreciative if you paid, and I would
20:00
Speaker 7: always when the check came for me first dinner, would
20:02
Speaker 7: always say, oh, that's so nice.
20:04
Speaker 3: Are you sure? And I definitely like I would so
20:09
Speaker 3: that it's not a conclusion.
20:12
Speaker 7: And I mean, but I will tell you if you
20:14
Speaker 7: did take it and split it, it would just be
20:16
Speaker 7: a note to me like okay. Again, if we dated
20:19
Speaker 7: subsequent times, or if I said, hey, I'd like to
20:21
Speaker 7: take you, you know what I mean, for a hike
20:23
Speaker 7: and lunch or whatever. I feel like I invited him
20:26
Speaker 7: and I would pay. So it's but at the beginning, especially,
20:30
Speaker 7: I like when somebody.
20:31
Speaker 5: Kind of I want to speak for these three guys.
20:33
Speaker 5: Even if you offered to pay, we're going to pay.
20:36
Speaker 5: But after a number of days, it's kind of nice
20:38
Speaker 5: when I'll pick up one, right, I'll get.
20:40
Speaker 1: The valet or show up with like a candle or
20:44
Speaker 1: something like that. Like I went away. I was dating
20:45
Speaker 1: somebody and we went away for the weekend and I
20:49
Speaker 1: showed up with like, I don't know, like a cute
20:51
Speaker 1: viewery hoodie, and he was like so knocked out by it.
20:54
Speaker 1: He's like wow, And I was like, you're so generous
20:56
Speaker 1: with me. So there's different ways to show appreciation, but
21:00
Speaker 1: that thank you, because PEO will not say thank you.
21:03
Speaker 5: When they don't thank you, I remember that and then
21:05
Speaker 5: you go back to it they raise that way, or
21:07
Speaker 5: they just don't like you, or but you know, you
21:09
Speaker 5: psycho analyze everything on that.
21:13
Speaker 1: You guys, You like, what's a good day, what are
21:16
Speaker 1: we doing?
21:17
Speaker 3: What do you women?
21:18
Speaker 5: I'm on a roll here, but I got to ask
21:19
Speaker 5: a question back to Bezos fiance's dress at the inauguration.
21:26
Speaker 5: I want a woman to look good, joke always looks.
21:28
Speaker 3: Good, sophisticated, amazing, and I.
21:31
Speaker 5: Don't want to say Lauren Sanchez. But to me, that
21:35
Speaker 5: was inappropriate first day. If somebody dresses a little inappropriate,
21:39
Speaker 5: I'm out.
21:40
Speaker 3: Okay, so you're more sophisticated, not sexy.
21:43
Speaker 1: Class I don't mean classic, understated.
21:45
Speaker 2: Classic, classic, classy.
21:48
Speaker 3: You're not allowed to use the word classy.
21:50
Speaker 7: My mom said, if you you have to say a
21:53
Speaker 7: class act.
21:54
Speaker 3: You're not allowed you classy.
21:56
Speaker 2: Okay, class class and reason. Let these guys on.
22:01
Speaker 5: I was trained that a first date, a first interview,
22:04
Speaker 5: you're probably going to get the best out of the person,
22:07
Speaker 5: and if they're looking trappy or something like that, it's
22:09
Speaker 5: probably going to go downhill. We can argue that, but
22:12
Speaker 5: that's because when you have a date with a guy,
22:14
Speaker 5: if you have interest, you're putting your a game on.
22:16
Speaker 7: Okay, okay, we talk about outfits, So what I hear
22:19
Speaker 7: what you're saying, But outfits like do you like do
22:22
Speaker 7: you like.
22:24
Speaker 3: Do you like women to show up a little more
22:26
Speaker 3: dressy casual? Like what like?
22:29
Speaker 4: Well, we have ray vision, you don't have to put
22:31
Speaker 4: it out there. We can tell what you look like naked.
22:37
Speaker 7: Do you know that. I had a guy show up
22:38
Speaker 7: and I said, how do you decide between lunch and dinner?
22:42
Speaker 7: And he says, if I'm a little unsure about the pictures,
22:44
Speaker 7: I like lunch because it's during the day so I
22:46
Speaker 7: can really see her body when she's walking towards the tablets.
22:55
Speaker 2: I like, you know, I like the words you use
22:58
Speaker 2: class act. It depends where we're going, and we're going
23:03
Speaker 2: to go to the beach, to a restaurant, or if
23:05
Speaker 2: we're going to go in town, depending on the setting,
23:09
Speaker 2: which makes a big difference. Read them, but read the room,
23:13
Speaker 2: know the lay of the land, and just be class
23:16
Speaker 2: act about how you're representing yourself. Because it's saying something
23:21
Speaker 2: about you as a person. I'm already casting judgment and passing.
23:26
Speaker 4: You know.
23:26
Speaker 2: My opinions internally, like is this gonna work?
23:30
Speaker 4: Is this someone that.
23:31
Speaker 2: I could take to Yes, it's someone I can take
23:34
Speaker 2: to the baseball game. Is this someone I can bring
23:36
Speaker 2: home to the kids, or if there's a family event
23:38
Speaker 2: or if we're going to a picnic. How is is
23:41
Speaker 2: this person going to be in a in a mini
23:43
Speaker 2: skirt with you know, with with bo. Yeah, so yeah,
23:47
Speaker 2: it's it just depends. It just depends.
23:49
Speaker 4: Thoughts same and yeah, I'd like them to dresh appropriately
23:54
Speaker 4: for the occasion, and I'd like them to look very stylish.
23:58
Speaker 4: I want them to look attractive, you know, I want
24:02
Speaker 4: I don't have any trouble if you know, you know
24:05
Speaker 4: they turn people's heads when they want absolutely not because
24:10
Speaker 4: of something over.
24:11
Speaker 1: The you don't want to walk flower absolutely.
24:13
Speaker 4: Something to sometimes you know, like I have a date
24:16
Speaker 4: recently and I had a woman cup up and said,
24:19
Speaker 4: you are the luckiest guy in this in this restaurant
24:22
Speaker 4: right now because of the person I was with, and
24:25
Speaker 4: it's you know, I mean made me feel really really good,
24:28
Speaker 4: like I am lucky.
24:30
Speaker 3: Do you like one woman approach you?
24:32
Speaker 7: I mean, do you like women that are more shy
24:34
Speaker 7: and reserved and you make the first move or how
24:37
Speaker 7: do you feel when that's an interesting.
24:39
Speaker 2: Point you make because these days and at this time,
24:43
Speaker 2: it's a lot different when you yes, it's amazing. Well,
24:47
Speaker 2: one thing I was going to say that I'm going
24:49
Speaker 2: to piggyback on what guys said, is I love a
24:51
Speaker 2: woman who walks in the room and the furniture leads
24:56
Speaker 2: her way or the heads turned, everyone is like, and
25:03
Speaker 2: I get to sit there and say, she's with me.
25:19
Speaker 4: We really did get along.
25:21
Speaker 5: There was just different personality, different issues, but no fact,
25:25
Speaker 5: no fights, no cat fight or anything like that, and
25:27
Speaker 5: it was really great. We called it free group therapy
25:32
Speaker 5: just because you know, we've all had some happened in
25:34
Speaker 5: our lives and we sit down just as guys go, man,
25:37
Speaker 5: this happened to me and another guy. It wouldn't want
25:39
Speaker 5: up in you. It was just I've been through this.
25:41
Speaker 5: It was fantastic and with all.
25:42
Speaker 2: Due respect, we gave each guy the opportunity to finish
25:46
Speaker 2: their story because it was for me it was more
25:49
Speaker 2: of a spiritual journey and being comfortable in my own skin.
25:54
Speaker 2: But allowing these guys to get out their stories that
25:58
Speaker 2: we don't usually or often get to, who talk about
26:01
Speaker 2: what we have buried to allowed us to be the
26:04
Speaker 2: men that we are today.
26:05
Speaker 1: So it was really twofold. Like a lot of the
26:07
Speaker 1: show was the actual living in the house and creating
26:09
Speaker 1: these relationships and doing that, and then the other part
26:12
Speaker 1: of it was dating Joan finding love and doing that
26:15
Speaker 1: part as well. Absolutely really important.
26:17
Speaker 7: And that's interesting because I watched the show first, I said,
26:20
Speaker 7: as great as your love story was, and it was
26:23
Speaker 7: amazing and still is.
26:25
Speaker 3: I The takeaway for me was watching the camaraderie between
26:30
Speaker 3: all of you. It was touching.
26:32
Speaker 7: And to watch guys really let down their barriers and
26:36
Speaker 7: share things and their insecurities and their again their emotional
26:41
Speaker 7: baggage or you know, talking about families and everything. It
26:45
Speaker 7: was I mean, I'm getting chills as I say it.
26:47
Speaker 7: But I said to Nika, I said, that was the
26:49
Speaker 7: takeaway for me. And when people were crying when they
26:52
Speaker 7: were leaving the show, it wasn't. I mean, they loved
26:54
Speaker 7: Joan and it connected with Joan, but they were equally
26:57
Speaker 7: as sad to leave each other.
26:59
Speaker 3: I mean, you as we're sad that thing came to
27:01
Speaker 3: an end.
27:01
Speaker 4: Yeah. I referred to it as a retreat for sexagenarian man,
27:07
Speaker 4: and you know, it was very interesting and sure these
27:11
Speaker 4: guys will you know, attest to this is that you think,
27:15
Speaker 4: you know, you're sitting around the pool or you know,
27:17
Speaker 4: around the mansion that we would be talking about you know, football, baseball,
27:22
Speaker 4: those kind of things. We talked about our lives, we
27:25
Speaker 4: talked about our past history, we talked about things we've
27:28
Speaker 4: gone through and we've shared. We shared with that over
27:30
Speaker 4: and over again, and it was you know, you would
27:33
Speaker 4: do that on a one on one basis, you do
27:35
Speaker 4: it with one on you two other people and you
27:37
Speaker 4: just be having these incredible conversations.
27:39
Speaker 1: Is vulnerable moments.
27:40
Speaker 4: Yeah, and they allowed me to, you know, and that
27:42
Speaker 4: and I journaled the whole thing and you know, for
27:46
Speaker 4: that whole time, and it was and then I go
27:47
Speaker 4: back and look at that and the intense.
27:52
Speaker 2: I felt safe telling my story. I felt safe sharing my.
27:57
Speaker 4: Story with these guys.
27:59
Speaker 1: Have you any to be vulnerable friendships?
28:01
Speaker 5: Have kind of absolutely And guy and I talk a lot.
28:05
Speaker 5: I said, guide code, but it's really grown up cold
28:07
Speaker 5: code because we talked about stuff and they didn't show,
28:11
Speaker 5: you know, some of it was picked up on the cameras,
28:13
Speaker 5: but we talked about life change, the stuff from death
28:17
Speaker 5: to bad marriages. We did things right, we did things wrong.
28:21
Speaker 5: I've yet to see one guy betray the other one.
28:23
Speaker 1: Yeah. There's a lot of men's group in LA where
28:27
Speaker 1: we live. You know, I have a lot of friends
28:29
Speaker 1: who do it and it's kind of like a safe
28:31
Speaker 1: space and similar to almost what you guys experienced living.
28:35
Speaker 7: To the fact that you were all kind of caged
28:37
Speaker 7: animals and had a lot of time together or do
28:40
Speaker 7: you know, like.
28:42
Speaker 5: Go back to casting and luck, because I do think
28:45
Speaker 5: there was part of it going is this person sol good?
28:48
Speaker 5: And part of it will this journey be good for
28:51
Speaker 5: them as well? But again not one guy's betrayed another guy,
28:54
Speaker 5: and that's phenomenal because all the producers go, you wouldn't
28:57
Speaker 5: leave these young kids.
28:58
Speaker 4: They can't fight and everything.
29:00
Speaker 3: It's just we mature.
29:01
Speaker 7: I think it's just different and under like the unlike
29:04
Speaker 7: the younger version of the show, you know, the the regular,
29:08
Speaker 7: the twenty year old Bachelor's where it's competitive and cat
29:10
Speaker 7: fights and this, I mean you all were rooting for
29:13
Speaker 7: each other when you were going on the dates.
29:15
Speaker 2: I mean, I'd like to just slightly correct. We weren't caged.
29:20
Speaker 2: We were together like a fraternity. So there was this
29:25
Speaker 2: amazing journey initially of getting through the process and it
29:31
Speaker 2: became a point of I'm going to prove that my
29:33
Speaker 2: record is so clean that I'm able to go and
29:37
Speaker 2: do this. And then there was the night, the first
29:39
Speaker 2: night of the rose ceremony, and that was the initiation.
29:42
Speaker 2: And once that happened, we were like a fraternity.
29:48
Speaker 4: Would you agree with that.
29:49
Speaker 5: Yes, the thing the thing that I really liked, And
29:51
Speaker 5: there was a lot of fans going, you've got these
29:54
Speaker 5: mature guys and you're putting them in bunk beds and
29:56
Speaker 5: all that. It was fantastic. Yeah, and there wasn't really
29:59
Speaker 5: one of the It was a change for one person,
30:01
Speaker 5: but there wasn't real anybody that complained about And it
30:04
Speaker 5: was great. I didn't say that, but I watched it.
30:09
Speaker 5: He could, he could speak for himself. But you look
30:11
Speaker 5: at the relationships. You know what night we're sitting there talking.
30:14
Speaker 5: In the morning, you would talk. I loved actually being
30:17
Speaker 5: in that room with the five of us.
30:19
Speaker 1: Yes, it exists, like some of the real emotions that
30:22
Speaker 1: come up as you're all vying for Joan, Like how
30:25
Speaker 1: did that also kind.
30:26
Speaker 2: Of I would say, No, there.
30:28
Speaker 1: Was nothing so refreshing here.
30:31
Speaker 4: That was not Yeah, I don't know how hell it was,
30:34
Speaker 4: you know when the women you know, kind of behind
30:36
Speaker 4: closed doors. But we didn't really we didn't, at least
30:40
Speaker 4: I didn't talk about Joan with other guys very much.
30:43
Speaker 4: We we all had the per se, you know, but
30:48
Speaker 4: we just kind of talked about the experience and they
30:51
Speaker 4: supported each other and whatever was happening. So you know,
30:55
Speaker 4: Toxic on On is one on one that Disneyland. Everybody
30:58
Speaker 4: was like so happy.
30:59
Speaker 2: For right and when he got back, how'd he go?
31:02
Speaker 2: When you want to talk about it? I, oh my god.
31:05
Speaker 2: And then so it's like that had.
31:06
Speaker 5: Two moments of jealousy and I think I should I
31:09
Speaker 5: was the final guy. So the big the reward one
31:13
Speaker 5: on one date was the helicopter ride. Yes, and we
31:15
Speaker 5: all knew it was going to happen, we just didn't
31:17
Speaker 5: know who. And so the guys and it was it
31:20
Speaker 5: was Keith on this and so they the producers go,
31:23
Speaker 5: you guys, go get out in the pool. We knew
31:25
Speaker 5: something was up. Then we're at there about fifteen minutes
31:27
Speaker 5: and they go, what is that up in the air,
31:29
Speaker 5: And the helicopter buzzed this twice and we're sitting there
31:31
Speaker 5: doing I wanted that guy because we knew it was
31:33
Speaker 5: so cool.
31:34
Speaker 4: I remember, and then I needed to be up there.
31:37
Speaker 5: And then Mark when he got the date with Joan
31:40
Speaker 5: uh because last year they took a helicopter to this
31:43
Speaker 5: big yacht and landed on it and so it said
31:46
Speaker 5: like bring your fishing pool or something, so we knew
31:48
Speaker 5: it was off shore and Bart comes.
31:50
Speaker 4: Back to the date.
31:50
Speaker 5: He is just gleating. I mean he is, and I
31:53
Speaker 5: go brother, camera goes, well, tell me about the boat.
31:55
Speaker 5: He goes, I w wasn't on a boat. We're all
31:57
Speaker 5: like this, he goes, I was on a yacht. So yeah,
32:08
Speaker 5: it's not like, you know, he got a one up.
32:10
Speaker 5: It's like, man, that would have been fun. But you know,
32:12
Speaker 5: Disneyland worked out real well for Jona and I. It
32:14
Speaker 5: gave us a lot of time together.
32:26
Speaker 7: Did you learn any dating tips from the show, like
32:29
Speaker 7: from each other as you watched guys approach And.
32:37
Speaker 2: For me it wasn't. It wasn't like that. It was
32:40
Speaker 2: just be you.
32:43
Speaker 4: I can benefit.
32:44
Speaker 2: From what you did or what you said or something
32:48
Speaker 2: like that. But it was more of just enjoy this
32:52
Speaker 2: moment that I have. Not necessarily I'm going to copy
32:55
Speaker 2: and do what the guy did.
32:57
Speaker 5: If there's not a woman that hadn't fallen in love
33:00
Speaker 5: with this guy because his I say soulfulness, but you're carried.
33:04
Speaker 4: He was.
33:05
Speaker 5: I'll tell you, he was the most carrying guy on
33:07
Speaker 5: the show. Absolutely when somebody was was asked to leave
33:10
Speaker 5: something like this, the consoling uh he was helped me
33:14
Speaker 5: in a situation that I had. This was the best
33:17
Speaker 5: guy on the show.
33:18
Speaker 1: You that off of you.
33:22
Speaker 4: And he's the best dress you've ever seen. I mean,
33:24
Speaker 4: but you.
33:26
Speaker 5: Said that guy was such a good friend, and Kim Cutson,
33:32
Speaker 5: you know, for his personality, caught a little bit of heat.
33:35
Speaker 5: The guy was there friending Kim and he was the
33:38
Speaker 5: one that stood up and sang the song. Yes, Yes,
33:41
Speaker 5: I give him kudos. And then when you talk to
33:43
Speaker 5: Charles l about his wife that I don't think you'd
33:48
Speaker 5: see that, and it was heartfelt.
33:54
Speaker 1: You saw the change in Charles like he needed to
33:56
Speaker 1: hear that.
33:57
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will say that. You know, when I was
34:00
Speaker 4: having the conversation with him, I didn't realize the impact
34:03
Speaker 4: I was having at the time because I've had that
34:05
Speaker 4: conversation with patients for a thousand times, right as working
34:09
Speaker 4: thirty five years in the er. When I watched it
34:13
Speaker 4: after on the show, I was going, Okay, no matter
34:17
Speaker 4: what happens the rest of the show, whether I get
34:19
Speaker 4: another rose or anything.
34:22
Speaker 1: You made an impact.
34:24
Speaker 4: I mean, the opportunity to be able to impact somebody's
34:26
Speaker 4: life like that.
34:27
Speaker 1: So sweet is you have a great bedside manner. I
34:30
Speaker 1: bet you are a very you know the way you
34:33
Speaker 1: dealt with patients, I'm sure was really special.
34:35
Speaker 4: You know. One of the things I will say is that,
34:37
Speaker 4: you know, because you're talking about like other people's playbook,
34:40
Speaker 4: the way I looked at and I think everybody else was,
34:43
Speaker 4: you know, probably at the same time. And I didn't
34:45
Speaker 4: think of it as being a competition when I was there.
34:49
Speaker 4: What I was trying to find out was was Joan
34:53
Speaker 4: my person and the my Jones person and could we
34:56
Speaker 4: see having, you know, an extended relationship. That's what the
35:00
Speaker 4: I was like, Man, I need to be X, Y
35:02
Speaker 4: and Z, because it wasn't the competition. It was like,
35:05
Speaker 4: can we develop this connection?
35:06
Speaker 1: I think that's so important with dating now is I
35:09
Speaker 1: think you know, I used to spend a lot of
35:11
Speaker 1: time I don't want to say, like trying to sign
35:13
Speaker 1: the guide because I, you know, I just wanted to
35:15
Speaker 1: make sure then that I had the choice. And now
35:17
Speaker 1: I sit on a date and as much as I
35:19
Speaker 1: I worry less if they're feeling a connection to me,
35:22
Speaker 1: it's more about am I feeling a connection to them?
35:24
Speaker 1: And that matters almost just as much because the rejection
35:27
Speaker 1: piece was super tough for me back in the day.
35:30
Speaker 1: What about you guys rejection.
35:32
Speaker 5: Can I real quick, I need to go back and
35:33
Speaker 5: say something. I did have one other moment of envy,
35:36
Speaker 5: and I want your whole listening audience to have this.
35:40
Speaker 5: I came in the show and I was working out
35:41
Speaker 5: hard and I'd lost some weight. I was in pretty
35:44
Speaker 5: good shape, and there were some other guys that were
35:46
Speaker 5: in good shape. But I thought I was in real
35:48
Speaker 5: good shape till guy took a shirt off and then
35:50
Speaker 5: I was.
35:51
Speaker 3: Like, I.
35:54
Speaker 4: Can't compete.
35:55
Speaker 5: I was just ripped.
35:58
Speaker 4: So I did have to say that.
36:00
Speaker 6: Yeah, I know.
36:01
Speaker 7: So did you guys kind of get ready for the show,
36:03
Speaker 7: like made sure you were bringing your best version of yourself?
36:06
Speaker 4: Yeah?
36:07
Speaker 2: But then something happened. Once you get there and they've
36:09
Speaker 2: got all your wonderful.
36:11
Speaker 1: Foods, do you kick the food?
36:15
Speaker 2: We killed their ole meals?
36:16
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah. There was there was no chef.
36:19
Speaker 2: And uh catering catering or well there was catering when
36:23
Speaker 2: we had our our parties and stuff like that, but
36:26
Speaker 2: there was no you know, it was It was really
36:30
Speaker 2: humbling with what we had to go through, and it
36:34
Speaker 2: made us more grounded, I think, and helped us to
36:36
Speaker 2: realize what's really important. Here are us and not anything
36:42
Speaker 2: else outside of here. And again Jackie's role was putting
36:46
Speaker 2: together these men. That was just so amazing. And the
36:51
Speaker 2: relationships that we now have with us for the rest
36:54
Speaker 2: of our lives and stay in touch with each other.
36:57
Speaker 2: You know, I can't tell you how happy him I
37:00
Speaker 2: were over the past week.
37:02
Speaker 4: We kids to be able to see each other again.
37:08
Speaker 4: So it's it's been fun. At the mansion, it was
37:11
Speaker 4: it was family. It was like being in a family
37:14
Speaker 4: because we had ye had some some men who were
37:16
Speaker 4: really good at cooking. Like I don't cook.
37:21
Speaker 8: I know, however, however, that reminds me of story all
37:29
Speaker 8: about but but I really couldn't do that well.
37:35
Speaker 4: But I knew how to wash and dry dishes and
37:37
Speaker 4: put them away. And I said, that really was it
37:42
Speaker 4: was you cook, I'll clean the mess up. I'm good
37:46
Speaker 4: with that. So it was.
37:48
Speaker 2: And some guys enjoyed cooking, like Mark Anderson. He really
37:52
Speaker 2: enjoyed putting together these meals without hesitation, and that was
37:57
Speaker 2: that was great.
37:59
Speaker 5: I got to tell you, I was fortunate to meet
38:00
Speaker 5: Mark Anderson. That guy, he's the guy if you had
38:05
Speaker 5: a sister you'd want him him to date or he
38:08
Speaker 5: was just solid, great dad. He was really solid during
38:12
Speaker 5: the whole thing. And when Joan came and said, you're
38:15
Speaker 5: not going to move on to the next thing, we
38:16
Speaker 5: were saying goodbye to him and he whispers in my ear.
38:18
Speaker 5: He goes, invite me to the wedding. Oh yeah, oh.
38:21
Speaker 7: And she was broken hearted to let him go, just
38:23
Speaker 7: because she knew what a just great, solid guy he
38:26
Speaker 7: was well and know there was a connection.
38:28
Speaker 5: I know better than anyone else other than Joan, just
38:32
Speaker 5: the struggles she had letting people go and with Guy,
38:35
Speaker 5: you know, and she told me about that. She goes,
38:37
Speaker 5: I didn't want to take him to that next level
38:40
Speaker 5: because you know, and I didn't even know about it
38:43
Speaker 5: until afterwards. And she goes, well, and what the story was,
38:46
Speaker 5: and I told Guy this the other day because we
38:48
Speaker 5: didn't talk about this, is they kind of pit the
38:50
Speaker 5: two people, the two contestants at the end against each other.
38:54
Speaker 5: And she goes, I was not going to do that
38:56
Speaker 5: to Guy because that already and what they do is
38:58
Speaker 5: you profess your love, write him a love note and
39:01
Speaker 5: all this stuff. And she goes, it just wasn't fair
39:03
Speaker 5: to Guy.
39:04
Speaker 1: She was super elegant in the way she handled every situation.
39:08
Speaker 4: She was so there you go. She's a class act.
39:12
Speaker 5: She really is not class but class.
39:14
Speaker 3: You can't say classy. My mom says, you just can't
39:16
Speaker 3: say classic. You just can't say classy.
39:19
Speaker 4: I can't say class.
39:20
Speaker 1: So do you know? So one of the things that
39:22
Speaker 1: she and I do, and I wonder because I think
39:25
Speaker 1: a bunch of you are single still so and you
39:27
Speaker 1: all obviously keep in touch with each other. So a
39:29
Speaker 1: lot of times when we'll go on a date and
39:32
Speaker 1: maybe it's not a fit or vice versa, is we
39:35
Speaker 1: will gently recycle, use, recycled.
39:38
Speaker 3: So we say one recycled.
39:43
Speaker 7: Because we did say that one woman's trash.
39:47
Speaker 3: It's like because trash, just what is it? Trash?
39:50
Speaker 1: He's not trash. It's just it didn't wasn't fit.
39:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, good, God didn't aligne.
39:55
Speaker 1: So has that happened? Because you all know each other
39:57
Speaker 1: so well, like perhaps have you gone out with woman
40:00
Speaker 1: that perhaps wasn't for you, but you think guy would
40:02
Speaker 1: be a great fit, and have you done that? Or
40:07
Speaker 1: we do should So I'm actually going out. I'm actually
40:10
Speaker 1: going out with.
40:10
Speaker 7: Somebody that I went out with and then she gave
40:13
Speaker 7: to her sister and the sister didn't connect with him.
40:18
Speaker 3: And now I'm going out the next.
40:23
Speaker 5: Compliment, it's a complimentary charm.
40:29
Speaker 2: I mean, he's not me, He's okay, why don't you well, darling,
40:33
Speaker 2: he's not. And so I mean, what a great.
40:38
Speaker 1: Wouldn't you be if you.
40:39
Speaker 3: Were a guy and somebody said, you know, it wasn't
40:42
Speaker 3: a fit. But I think enough of you that I
40:44
Speaker 3: think you should go out with one of my friends.
40:45
Speaker 5: I have a success story in my life. I grew
40:48
Speaker 5: up with a lady. She's a client, she's a friend
40:50
Speaker 5: of mine. We climbed Kilimanjaro together.
40:52
Speaker 3: You want it.
40:52
Speaker 1: It's not on your bucket list.
40:55
Speaker 4: September, but that's where the car during the show and
41:00
Speaker 4: that surgery, so it was off. I'm sorry, but I
41:02
Speaker 4: have it from next year.
41:04
Speaker 5: So she lived in Austin and she on a dating app,
41:07
Speaker 5: went out and met somebody and the guy goes, you know,
41:10
Speaker 5: and you say, not for me, but he goes, I've
41:11
Speaker 5: got a guy that you should meet. And it was
41:13
Speaker 5: his best friend. They've been married for like twelve years.
41:15
Speaker 5: Oh wow, And I mean, just the greatest couple.
41:18
Speaker 3: You never know.
41:18
Speaker 5: But what a compliment is going on? I do it
41:21
Speaker 5: that time, Yeah, because we all want something different in
41:23
Speaker 5: our lives.
41:25
Speaker 1: It's also that energy is there. You know, you might
41:27
Speaker 1: be the most fabulous guy and we might sit across
41:29
Speaker 1: the table and not feel an energy, and all of
41:31
Speaker 1: a sudden you sit there with her and you're like,
41:33
Speaker 1: my god, this is my person.
41:34
Speaker 5: Well, some people like smart people, you know, some people
41:37
Speaker 5: like tall people, some people like a type personalities.
41:40
Speaker 4: You know, it's just there's it's just so different.
41:42
Speaker 1: And what we're looking for in our twenties is different
41:45
Speaker 1: than our thirties, is different than our forties. Like, what
41:47
Speaker 1: are you guys looking for now in your sixties?
41:49
Speaker 5: I say the sea word compatibility. You've got to be compatible.
41:54
Speaker 3: I hope, I hope that's the sea worder.
41:56
Speaker 4: Well, I've said that befotunate word. What's he going to say?
42:00
Speaker 7: But there's a lot of there's a lot of still.
42:04
Speaker 5: Sexual to say, you've got to be turned on by,
42:07
Speaker 5: but the compatibility because you've been in a bad relationship,
42:10
Speaker 5: you've been in a bad relationship, you have there is
42:13
Speaker 5: almost nothing worse. There's death and all that, but being
42:16
Speaker 5: in a bad relationship where you don't want.
42:17
Speaker 3: To get through. I don't feel like I've had many
42:20
Speaker 3: bad relationships.
42:21
Speaker 4: Want to get divorced.
42:24
Speaker 7: Well that's another.
42:28
Speaker 3: Another podcast.
42:29
Speaker 4: You know, I'm going to jump off of your first
42:31
Speaker 4: c because they had asked me early on, you know,
42:34
Speaker 4: like whether you're looking for in a relationship, and I
42:37
Speaker 4: actually came up with the five seas, which I expanded
42:39
Speaker 4: to eight, and it was it was communication, it was compatibility,
42:44
Speaker 4: it was commitment, it was caring, it was compromise. I
42:48
Speaker 4: also throwing comedic, I love.
42:51
Speaker 1: I love my God.
42:54
Speaker 3: That's not negotiable.
42:55
Speaker 4: Yeah.
42:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, and chemistry you need to nine.
42:57
Speaker 4: That's no. That was that was the one of that
43:00
Speaker 4: and they never ate My brother Gary christ.
43:03
Speaker 1: Got it nice. It's a lot to see, really works
43:07
Speaker 1: for a lot of important Where's it in a relationship?
43:09
Speaker 7: What advice can you give to women in terms of
43:13
Speaker 7: good spots? I mean this sounds so tried after the
43:15
Speaker 7: conversation we've had, but good spots that maybe they can
43:20
Speaker 7: meet men or best ways to approach men or position
43:24
Speaker 7: themselves online. And I know that's a broad question, but
43:27
Speaker 7: just like whatever speaks.
43:28
Speaker 5: To you, can I go first?
43:29
Speaker 4: Absolutely?
43:30
Speaker 5: Yeah, because I just did this on a podcast. Is
43:33
Speaker 5: when you're on an elevator, say hi to someone, when
43:36
Speaker 5: you're in the grocery store, just say hi to someone.
43:38
Speaker 5: You just never know what they're going to say. They
43:40
Speaker 5: could be in the same position when they're looking for someone,
43:42
Speaker 5: and the high is not you're not being aggressive or
43:45
Speaker 5: anything else. But then there's a lot of guys on
43:47
Speaker 5: the show that have met people the ladies have DM
43:51
Speaker 5: them and they've reached out to me. I think it's
43:54
Speaker 5: a compliment for a guy to get somebody that a
43:55
Speaker 5: lady reaches out and don't be shy and live your life.
43:59
Speaker 5: But there's just people. My grandmother after my granddad, she
44:03
Speaker 5: never dated anyone, So to each their own. But if
44:06
Speaker 5: you want to date someone, you've got to open up
44:08
Speaker 5: and you have to be ready. That's the other thing is,
44:10
Speaker 5: don't waste their time if you're not ready.
44:12
Speaker 1: It also doesn't drop out of the sky like you
44:14
Speaker 1: have to put effort into meeting somebody.
44:16
Speaker 5: Well, and if you want somebody in shape, go to
44:18
Speaker 5: the gym. You want religion, you can go to church.
44:20
Speaker 5: A lot of churches have a single deals you know
44:23
Speaker 5: what's important to you, or do a little bit of
44:24
Speaker 5: all of it. You never know. But I think the
44:26
Speaker 5: best thing is to go to your friends and go, hey,
44:28
Speaker 5: I'm ready to date. If you know anybody your friends.
44:31
Speaker 5: That referral system is incredible.
44:33
Speaker 1: Well, you have to tell you what we're doing just quickly.
44:35
Speaker 4: Okay.
44:35
Speaker 1: So I really wanted her to start dating again, and
44:39
Speaker 1: I said it's time to go on an app and
44:41
Speaker 1: she was just like, I'm not feeling it. So I said, fine,
44:44
Speaker 1: So I am her Sereno de Bergerac. I am doing
44:46
Speaker 1: all of her online dating.
44:48
Speaker 7: It is my picture, it is my picture.
44:51
Speaker 1: I wrote everything. I'm doing all of it. And then
44:54
Speaker 1: I call her be like, just gave somebody your number.
44:56
Speaker 1: But the problem is is sometimes I answer questions like
44:59
Speaker 1: as if it's so then she hates coffee. I love coffee,
45:02
Speaker 1: and you know, I'll say like.
45:03
Speaker 3: Oh so they invite me to coffee.
45:05
Speaker 1: Coffee, but it's been really fun or instead, But it's
45:09
Speaker 1: been fun.
45:10
Speaker 7: And the nice thing is it's actually been kind of
45:12
Speaker 7: freeing because you're not attached to the result.
45:14
Speaker 3: I'm not at touched.
45:15
Speaker 7: It's it's nice because I'm not going to call. You're
45:18
Speaker 7: not going to call because I haven't even engaged.
45:20
Speaker 5: Well, let's be semi intellectually interesting.
45:22
Speaker 4: What do you want?
45:24
Speaker 3: Way to turn it back on us talk.
45:26
Speaker 7: I want something a little unconventional, but in terms of
45:30
Speaker 7: personality and person I want somebody that I admire and
45:34
Speaker 7: look up to and makes me a better person and
45:36
Speaker 7: challenges me to get outside of my comfort zone and
45:40
Speaker 7: become just a more evolved, interesting and smart person. But
45:44
Speaker 7: I want somebody that's funny, intelligent, confident, and also has
45:51
Speaker 7: their own life and interests. Not that I I mean,
45:56
Speaker 7: not that I want I want to do things together,
45:59
Speaker 7: but I am somewhat independent and I have a full life.
46:03
Speaker 7: And that's not to say that I don't want to
46:05
Speaker 7: integrate lives with somebody. But I really have a family
46:08
Speaker 7: that I'm close to, an extended family and friends, and
46:11
Speaker 7: I would love to integrate that with somebody. But I'm
46:14
Speaker 7: okay if somebody has a lot of their own history
46:17
Speaker 7: as well, and Sarah like holidays are important to them,
46:21
Speaker 7: and it's really important that they are in Massachusetts, do
46:24
Speaker 7: you know.
46:24
Speaker 3: What I mean? With their extended family or their grandkids
46:27
Speaker 3: or whatever. They have a widow. You know, they're widowers
46:30
Speaker 3: and they need to be somewhere.
46:32
Speaker 7: I'm okay if we don't do everything all the time
46:36
Speaker 7: together and we have certain traditions that we maintain separately.
46:39
Speaker 4: She been divorced for a while oh what.
46:42
Speaker 3: Is that she's used to being on her own?
46:45
Speaker 4: Absolutely, yeah, that you're okay with it?
46:47
Speaker 3: Yeah, I am. And I think that I have to
46:50
Speaker 3: work on maybe being a little more needy. Truly I do.
46:54
Speaker 4: I don't.
46:54
Speaker 7: I mean, needy is an unattractive word, but I think
46:57
Speaker 7: that I give off the air that I don't. I
47:03
Speaker 7: think that that might be off putting. And it's like,
47:07
Speaker 7: I say, I want to date, but if I'm not
47:09
Speaker 7: making somebody feel like.
47:12
Speaker 2: They're adding value, I think. I guess men, I think
47:16
Speaker 2: we we want to be how do I say this, Well,
47:21
Speaker 2: just say it. I think we want to feel like
47:23
Speaker 2: we are still the man. We want to still feel
47:26
Speaker 2: like we're adding value in that way. And it's kind
47:29
Speaker 2: of tricky because times have changed such that there is
47:33
Speaker 2: such independence and women who have such great success, and
47:38
Speaker 2: incorporating the two together is very very important. You're still
47:42
Speaker 2: able to do that, They're still able to do what
47:45
Speaker 2: they want to do and go and grow, and so
47:48
Speaker 2: it's it's a melting pot, right, It's a combination of
47:51
Speaker 2: the two and making that work and having respect for
47:55
Speaker 2: what you do and loving you for what you do
47:59
Speaker 2: and get behind you, giving you the space and giving
48:03
Speaker 2: a space to still do that, but still feeling like
48:06
Speaker 2: but she still wants to be with me, she still
48:08
Speaker 2: needs some of the things that I.
48:10
Speaker 3: And I'm additive to her life wouldn't feel.
48:13
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that and that's I would. I would say
48:16
Speaker 4: that you you want somebody who enhances your life and
48:18
Speaker 4: you enhance their life.
48:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a piece that's important for me which I
48:24
Speaker 1: didn't have in my marriage, which is I need the
48:26
Speaker 1: person to be like my park bench, the person who
48:29
Speaker 1: I can sit next to just look at the birds,
48:32
Speaker 1: either laughing hysterically or totally comfortable in silence. Somebody who's
48:37
Speaker 1: really my best friend. And if it's not one hundred
48:40
Speaker 1: percent additive, like she was saying, I don't need to
48:44
Speaker 1: be with somebody. I want to be with the right
48:46
Speaker 1: person because I'm okay on my own right and so
48:50
Speaker 1: I'm really looking my kind of catchphrase is my park bench.
48:53
Speaker 4: Yeah, well said it's good.
48:55
Speaker 3: And we are strong.
48:57
Speaker 7: So I think I want somebody who is strong in
49:00
Speaker 7: their own ways that I can maybe not come across
49:05
Speaker 7: so strong.
49:06
Speaker 4: So why I like strong?
49:08
Speaker 1: I like strong women across very strong to you.
49:12
Speaker 2: No, not strong in the in the sense.
49:14
Speaker 5: Of overpowering, not overly.
49:17
Speaker 2: No, I think this is a wonderful thing. It's very
49:21
Speaker 2: attractive to me to find someone with that kind of
49:25
Speaker 2: drive because.
49:28
Speaker 3: I feel like.
49:31
Speaker 2: Three times a charm and we're going to keep it going.
49:33
Speaker 2: But I think it's attractive to have.
49:35
Speaker 4: A strong woman. But right, I mean, I don't want.
49:38
Speaker 2: Somebody who's just this little doormat doormat and following me
49:42
Speaker 2: every It's like, where's your life?
49:44
Speaker 5: The military does this. They do a summary after every mission.
49:49
Speaker 5: What went right? What went wrong? Have you done that?
49:52
Speaker 3: Chuck? I feel like we need to have a therapy
49:53
Speaker 3: session after this. I really do.
49:55
Speaker 7: Like we're here all weekend. I might have an hour session,
50:00
Speaker 7: give metactifully, you have to.
50:01
Speaker 5: Look at it and go if I do want someone,
50:04
Speaker 5: but it's it's luck and it's time, and it's just
50:07
Speaker 5: but you know what, why hasn't it worked? And I
50:11
Speaker 5: just got lucky because you could say the same thing
50:12
Speaker 5: to me and I go, I couldn't put this thing
50:14
Speaker 5: together if I had to. My daughter signed me up
50:16
Speaker 5: for the show.
50:17
Speaker 4: She was luck. She did.
50:19
Speaker 5: My daughter did the application. You asked this question earlier
50:21
Speaker 5: as if she were me, and what I do?
50:24
Speaker 1: I'm doing her online dating and I think nothing is random.
50:28
Speaker 1: I think people come into our life, whether it's a
50:31
Speaker 1: lesson or a blessing, something to learn. Right, So, in
50:35
Speaker 1: terms of taking stock of each relationship and what you
50:38
Speaker 1: learn and what you're going to take with you, what
50:39
Speaker 1: was the good, what was the bad, It all kind
50:41
Speaker 1: of builds up to hopefully what becomes your final destination.
50:44
Speaker 5: And you learn then you learn the non negotiables, Oh
50:47
Speaker 5: for sure on that, which.
50:49
Speaker 4: Are That's a whole nother thing.
50:52
Speaker 1: That's a podcast number two.
50:53
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a whole another potlem we all have, Yeah,
50:55
Speaker 5: as we should.
50:56
Speaker 1: So we we kind of for the last few minutes,
50:59
Speaker 1: we came up with this idea of doing well. Actually
51:02
Speaker 1: Andy Cohen did a Bravo, but we want to do
51:04
Speaker 1: our own game of rapid fire, which is like basically
51:07
Speaker 1: this or that, and we're going to just each of you,
51:10
Speaker 1: you know, kind of throw out a scenario and you know,
51:13
Speaker 1: you just respond with what the answer is?
51:16
Speaker 9: Okay, okay, you want me to start yep, street smart
51:19
Speaker 9: or book smart smart, night out on the town or
51:25
Speaker 9: quiet night in, Quiet night in, if a woman drinks
51:29
Speaker 9: a bit too much on a first date, endearing or
51:31
Speaker 9: a turnoff run turn off, implants are oh natural, Oh.
51:38
Speaker 4: I like them, big Gary.
51:43
Speaker 1: Both anything.
51:48
Speaker 3: Both phone call or FaceTime.
51:53
Speaker 4: FaceTime.
51:54
Speaker 3: I don't do face phone call.
51:57
Speaker 4: Phone call.
51:57
Speaker 3: You're young and heart the phone call.
52:00
Speaker 4: You know, a phone call to begin with, but you
52:02
Speaker 4: need to move to a face at least. I've just
52:04
Speaker 4: learned this. You know, I need to have like I
52:07
Speaker 4: actually have FaceTime dates. I'll say, let's just, you know,
52:09
Speaker 4: get a.
52:10
Speaker 5: Across from the guy could wake up after ten sleeping.
52:13
Speaker 5: He's gonna look pretty. That's what he needs, you know,
52:15
Speaker 5: It's just that's how he is.
52:17
Speaker 2: And I think you really quick. The FaceTime thing really
52:20
Speaker 2: takes away from the touching, the feeling, that very intimate
52:25
Speaker 2: moment you need to have with someone. It just ruins
52:28
Speaker 2: that just being able to reach out and and see
52:32
Speaker 2: your expressions in person.
52:35
Speaker 3: No, don't get okay, this was a rapid fire people.
52:40
Speaker 1: Does it matter if a person cooks or doesn't cook.
52:43
Speaker 4: I like some of the cooks. I like cooking.
52:45
Speaker 3: Okay, final one sending a nude or sending a funny meme.
52:50
Speaker 4: Funny meme, no nudes.
52:55
Speaker 3: Okay, guys, you have been amazing.
52:57
Speaker 1: Wait do you have a rapid fire one for each
52:59
Speaker 1: of us?
53:00
Speaker 3: I don't want to.
53:02
Speaker 4: He doesn't want to do asked for shoulders, shoulders, shoulders, Blonder, Brunette, Bnette, Brunette, Barnette,
53:16
Speaker 4: no comment.
53:22
Speaker 1: Parties, so much fun. Thank you for doing this with us.
53:26
Speaker 4: You're very welcome. I can't just say one thing, just
53:28
Speaker 4: you know, with these guys, and we had this connection
53:32
Speaker 4: with all all the guys on the show, but I
53:35
Speaker 4: do have to say that, you know, we three were
53:37
Speaker 4: roommates along with two other guys, Charles and Michael. I
53:43
Speaker 4: have to compliment Chalk because he he's been so gracious
53:49
Speaker 4: to everybody. He is, He's very articulated, he speaks really well.
53:52
Speaker 4: He is a good therapist, and I was on the
53:54
Speaker 4: receiving end of some of those therapy sessions and hopefully
53:58
Speaker 4: vice versa. So I want to thank you for the
54:01
Speaker 4: experienced Chockets. It was absolutely tremendous and Gary knows how
54:05
Speaker 4: I feel about it. We met the very first night
54:08
Speaker 4: before we went out, and we've been brothers from another
54:11
Speaker 4: mother since ever since. I love it absolutely so.
54:15
Speaker 1: In conclusion, hopefully we gave our listeners a real kind
54:22
Speaker 1: of bird's eye view into the minds of these amazing
54:25
Speaker 1: men Golden Bachelors for all things dating in our age
54:29
Speaker 1: as we all look for our chapter two. Thank you
54:31
Speaker 1: so much, guys.
54:32
Speaker 7: Thanks for having us, Thank you, thank you so If
54:34
Speaker 7: you're having a hard time getting back into the dating
54:36
Speaker 7: scene or ready to get back out there but don't
54:38
Speaker 7: know where to start, definitely reach out to us. You
54:41
Speaker 7: can call, you can email, follow us on socials. All
54:44
Speaker 7: the information will be in the show notes, and make
54:46
Speaker 7: sure to rate and review this podcast. I Do Part
54:49
Speaker 7: two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the
54:52
Speaker 7: main objective. Watching