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The Most INSANE Reddit Updates... · The conspiracy

0:00
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, I'm not feeling super califragilistic xpladocious today. Girl's
0:07
Speaker 1: been sick. Oh, but we need to do a video
0:10
Speaker 1: for Saturday. So all I can really muster myself up
0:13
Speaker 1: to do is read some juicy redde which I like
0:16
Speaker 1: to do on my own time anyway. So we're just
0:18
Speaker 1: gonna just grab a blanket. I have a little heated
0:21
Speaker 1: blanket on me right now. It's actually cold in Texas.
0:23
Speaker 1: For once. We're just gonna read some other people's tea, okay,
0:27
Speaker 1: And you, I just need to tell you that you
0:29
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Speaker 1: I got, but I won't blow it right now because
0:37
Speaker 1: it's very loud and obnoxious, unlike yourself. Or maybe you are,
0:40
Speaker 1: and I kind of love that for you. But without
0:42
Speaker 1: further ado, let's get into the video. Do you like
0:51
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1:00
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1:04
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1:19
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1:22
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1:44
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1:54
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2:00
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2:05
Speaker 1: it today. And before I get into it, sorry for
2:08
Speaker 1: what I look like. Didn't try today, and this is
2:12
Speaker 1: what you're getting, all right. And also I read Reddit
2:15
Speaker 1: and do other types of videos over on my second channel,
2:17
Speaker 1: So if you like this type of video, I have
2:19
Speaker 1: a ton a ton of them over there. But let's
2:22
Speaker 1: get into it first. Up, we have Hi the Scully.
2:24
Speaker 2: Wait for telling my wife to stop being so jealous
2:28
Speaker 2: of my friend's fiance.
2:30
Speaker 1: Oh interesting, interesting, I am intrigued. Let's read My wif
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Speaker 1: thirty five female and I thirty six male, are good
2:36
Speaker 1: friends with another couple, my best friend Matt thirty six male,
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Speaker 1: and his fiance Rachel, twenty four female. Okay, so she's
2:43
Speaker 1: like ten years younger than you. Guys. Is this who
2:46
Speaker 1: you're jealous of? Let's see Rachel models? Okay. Rachel is
2:49
Speaker 1: the other case. She's a model, all right, all right,
2:51
Speaker 1: and is very attractive. Slow down, John, Okay, I don't
2:55
Speaker 1: know your name. Slow down. My wife is less conventionally attractive,
2:58
Speaker 1: but I fell in love with her for her humor
3:00
Speaker 1: and good spirit, which I personally find more attractive than
3:03
Speaker 1: good looks. All right, okay, John, maybe don't tell her that.
3:07
Speaker 1: Though recently I've noticed my wife making a lot of
3:09
Speaker 1: comments about Rachel, calling her in airhead and just being
3:12
Speaker 1: kind of mean. When my wife makes these comments in private,
3:15
Speaker 1: I'm able to stand up for Rachel, but when they're
3:18
Speaker 1: made in public, I obviously don't want to embarrass my
3:21
Speaker 1: wife by calling her out. Okay, we're saying some iffy
3:24
Speaker 1: thinks here a little bit. I don't agree with. You know,
3:27
Speaker 1: if she's saying it directly to her, we're going to
3:29
Speaker 1: keep reading. I'm gonna have just had the benefit of
3:31
Speaker 1: the doubt in the back of my mind. My wife
3:32
Speaker 1: and I went on a trip away with Matt and
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Speaker 1: Rachel last week, which we had been planning for a
3:37
Speaker 1: while and really looking forward to. At dinner one night,
3:40
Speaker 1: my wife made a really mean comment after we started
3:42
Speaker 1: talking about the economy. She remarked, don't worry, Rachel, you
3:45
Speaker 1: can join in the conversation once the smart people are done.
3:48
Speaker 1: That is very mean. I don't agree with Cassandra. We're
3:52
Speaker 1: gonna call her Cassandra. I don't agree with her. That's
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Speaker 1: so mean. She was the only one who laughed. Yikes.
4:00
Speaker 1: I was completely embarrassed, and once we were alone, I
4:02
Speaker 1: told my wife she had been really rude and I
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Speaker 1: was ashamed of her. I told her she needs to
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Speaker 1: stop making nasty comments, and she agreed, Okay, some growth. However,
4:11
Speaker 1: the next night we all went out to the bar.
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Speaker 1: Rachel was getting a lot of tension from guys there
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Speaker 1: who were sending over drinks. My wife was looking visibly
4:18
Speaker 1: annoyed that she wasn't receiving the same attention, so I
4:21
Speaker 1: tried to lift her spirits by paying for all her
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Speaker 1: drinks and making a fuss of her as you showed,
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Speaker 1: she's your wife. One guy came over and said that
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Speaker 1: Rachel looked just like the models in Daat. Oh wow,
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Speaker 1: she's really pretty well. Okay wow. My wife led out
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Speaker 1: a massive laugh and said, did you mean to say?
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Speaker 1: Whoopi Goldberg? Who are you? Cassandra? She needs to take
4:39
Speaker 1: time out for a year. This is bad. I turned
4:42
Speaker 1: to my wife and straight up said, you really are
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Speaker 1: so jealous, aren't you. Oh just me in the bushes
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Speaker 1: right now, like, oh my god, watching them and my
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Speaker 1: listening like this. Oh that's terrible. I'm so glad this
5:01
Speaker 1: isn't me. She looked hurt, but didn't have time to
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Speaker 1: respond as Rachel had left to the tables in tears.
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Speaker 1: I feel really bad for Rachel. Now I'm not gonna lie.
5:10
Speaker 1: I followed Matt and told Rachel directly that I was
5:13
Speaker 1: so sorry for my wife's words and that I was
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Speaker 1: ashamed of her behavior. When I reunited with my wife,
5:18
Speaker 1: she told me I was horrible for calling her jealous
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Speaker 1: in front of everyone and embarrassing her. Wow, your feelings
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Speaker 1: can get hurt too, just like you hurt other people's feelings,
5:26
Speaker 1: you bitch. I told her straight up that she was
5:28
Speaker 1: jealous of Rachel, as Rachel is more attractive than her. Wow,
5:33
Speaker 1: the holes getting deep. Just give this guy a shovel.
5:35
Speaker 1: Give both of them a shovel. They just got a
5:37
Speaker 1: deep They both got to take a time out. I
5:38
Speaker 1: realize in hindsight this was a very heavy thing to say,
5:41
Speaker 1: and can see why she would be hurt by it. However,
5:44
Speaker 1: I stand by the fact it was said in ancher.
5:47
Speaker 1: Am I the asshole? Yeah? That was rude to say
5:49
Speaker 1: to her, for sure, Very very rude of her to
5:52
Speaker 1: say in front of Rachel, Like you know, it's one
5:55
Speaker 1: thing to just say stuff behind closed doors with somebody
5:59
Speaker 1: you trust, but to say it in front of their
6:01
Speaker 1: face and to just belittle human being like that when
6:04
Speaker 1: this person she's just living her life. Rachel's just like, hey,
6:07
Speaker 1: I look like Sundaea, Like let her live. Yeah, that's
6:11
Speaker 1: not okay. I think you're a soft asshole for like
6:15
Speaker 1: the things you said to her. But I don't think
6:17
Speaker 1: you're an asshole at all for calling her out on
6:19
Speaker 1: what she's saying, because that is not okay. Because what
6:21
Speaker 1: you're asking is, are you the asshole for telling your
6:24
Speaker 1: wife to stop being jealous of a friend? No? No, yeah,
6:28
Speaker 1: in general, no, but what you said, let's work on
6:32
Speaker 1: that for sure. But you seem to understand that, so
6:35
Speaker 1: let's read the comments though not the asshole aside from
6:38
Speaker 1: the way you handled it at the end, Agreed, she's
6:40
Speaker 1: the asshole. Stop bringing her around when you hang out
6:42
Speaker 1: with Matt and Rachel. Don't lie to her though, Just
6:45
Speaker 1: don't bring her anywhere they are going to be. If
6:47
Speaker 1: she doesn't like it, then oh well, she doesn't get
6:49
Speaker 1: to bully people and get rewarded. Yeah, it's like, can
6:53
Speaker 1: you put your wife on a time out and just
6:55
Speaker 1: be like, you're not allowed to come hang out with
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Speaker 1: these friends. I feel like at that point, what are
7:00
Speaker 1: you doing together if you just can't hang out with
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Speaker 1: these other people or yeah, I don't really know what
7:05
Speaker 1: the solution is here. I mean, it's obviously too Hopefully
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Speaker 1: Rachel can come to terms with the jealousy and just
7:12
Speaker 1: the meanness and work on it. That's I don't think
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Speaker 1: the best thing to do is to just only hang
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Speaker 1: out with these people alone. That's putting a bit like
7:21
Speaker 1: lipstick on a pig, like a band aid over a
7:24
Speaker 1: gushing wound. You know. Another one said, not the asshole, op.
7:27
Speaker 1: The only person here who is not acting like a
7:29
Speaker 1: mature adult is your wife. You talk to her in private,
7:32
Speaker 1: and she didn't listen. Unfortunately, sometimes people have to be
7:34
Speaker 1: called out in public in order for them to get
7:37
Speaker 1: the point. I don't even think you're the asshole for
7:39
Speaker 1: calling her out in public. I think it was just
7:41
Speaker 1: the maybe the way you did it, and not even
7:43
Speaker 1: the way you did it, like, oh, you really are jealous.
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Speaker 1: I just that makes me cringe. But I don't even
7:48
Speaker 1: know if that was the wrong thing to say, because
7:50
Speaker 1: she I mean, that clearly is the case. It's the
7:52
Speaker 1: when you started calling her like you're not as attractive
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Speaker 1: as her and stuff. It's like, oh god, man, you're
7:57
Speaker 1: just kicking a guy when he's he's already down. I
8:00
Speaker 1: don't know, just doubling down. I don't think helps anybody.
8:03
Speaker 1: But to be fair, she was clearly very much embarrassing Rachel,
8:06
Speaker 1: so he kind of was just like, well there. But
8:10
Speaker 1: then you got to remember, now that's your wife. So
8:12
Speaker 1: there's an edit though, so let's see what that says.
8:14
Speaker 1: I forgot to mention that since the trip, Matt has
8:16
Speaker 1: messaged me to let me know my wife is no
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Speaker 1: longer welcome at their wedding, and that as a couple,
8:21
Speaker 1: himself and Rachel have decided they aren't interested in our
8:24
Speaker 1: friendship anymore if my wife is around. That's fair. Rachel
8:27
Speaker 1: feels as if my wife has bullied her, and has
8:30
Speaker 1: even suggested that some of the comments were racially motivated.
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Speaker 1: I am so humiliated. That's completely fair and edit sorry,
8:37
Speaker 1: another edit. Just wanted to clarify my wife is stunning.
8:41
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have married her if I didn't think she
8:43
Speaker 1: was beautiful. She is just not as conventionally attractive whatever
8:48
Speaker 1: that means, all right to me. She is the most
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Speaker 1: beautiful woman on the planet. But objectively, Rachel is better looking.
8:52
Speaker 1: He's just speaking I think just so we have like
8:55
Speaker 1: a clear picture of what's going on. He's not saying
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Speaker 1: like she looks great if she's got a paper bag overhead.
9:00
Speaker 1: You know, I'm sent. Yeah, he's just I think he's
9:03
Speaker 1: just trying to paint a picture for us, which all right, fine,
9:06
Speaker 1: that's fair. I'm very open to being the asshole in
9:08
Speaker 1: the situation, but I definitely wouldn't want people to think
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Speaker 1: I'm not attracted to my wife. Okay, well, thank you
9:13
Speaker 1: for that, because I was like woo at the beginning there.
9:16
Speaker 1: And also we have an update, so let's read that.
9:20
Speaker 1: Thanks for the feedback, guys. Just to add, though I
9:22
Speaker 1: didn't call out my wife in public, I regularly called
9:25
Speaker 1: her out in private after she would make comments. Okay,
9:28
Speaker 1: so that was the first time, at the end of
9:29
Speaker 1: that last one that he called her in public. The
9:31
Speaker 1: reason we continued to hang out as a group is
9:33
Speaker 1: because my wife reassured me her and Rachel got on
9:35
Speaker 1: well and the comments were in good spirit. Matt would
9:38
Speaker 1: also continue to invite us out, so I didn't think
9:41
Speaker 1: it was too much of a problem. Also, in regards
9:43
Speaker 1: to the free drinks, Rachel accepted them for the table
9:46
Speaker 1: we all shared the drinks and were joking around. The
9:49
Speaker 1: drinks were sent from the same two creepy guys, and
9:51
Speaker 1: it wasn't the whole bar that was buying Rachel drinks.
9:54
Speaker 1: Matt isn't insecure and would rather accept the free alcohol
9:57
Speaker 1: ha ha. Also, my wife earns more money than me,
9:59
Speaker 1: so we split. It costs fifty to fifty most of
10:01
Speaker 1: the time. Oh yeah, because you said that you bought
10:03
Speaker 1: all your wife the drinks, And I'm sure a lot
10:06
Speaker 1: of people were just like yes, and like, what's what
10:10
Speaker 1: you're supposed to do? But you know, I don't know.
10:12
Speaker 1: Like for me, when Caleb and I go out, it's
10:14
Speaker 1: like whoever pulls her card out into or like if
10:17
Speaker 1: I just happen to have my wallet in my hand,
10:18
Speaker 1: I'll pay her vice versa or whatever. It's really not
10:21
Speaker 1: that big of a deal. But for some people it's like, no,
10:23
Speaker 1: the guy pays for whatever. Everybody's different. Okay, you guys
10:26
Speaker 1: can argue about that in the comments. All right, I
10:27
Speaker 1: think that's fine. All right, I paid for her drinks
10:29
Speaker 1: this time to make her feel better. Sure, all right.
10:31
Speaker 1: Before I update, I also want to make it clear
10:33
Speaker 1: that I don't have feelings for Rachel I think she
10:36
Speaker 1: is a conventionally attractive girl, and she is a model.
10:39
Speaker 1: I'm not even really friends with Rachel. As some of
10:41
Speaker 1: you pointed out, she's younger, so we don't have much
10:43
Speaker 1: in common. I also want to make it clear that
10:45
Speaker 1: my wife is conventionally attractive, also, just less so than Rachel.
10:49
Speaker 1: I'll see every time you say it, it did. I just
10:52
Speaker 1: feels achy in my mouth. But all right, Rachel is
10:54
Speaker 1: a model, my wife is not. Yeah, yees, still achy.
10:57
Speaker 1: All right. This doesn't mean I don't think my wife
10:59
Speaker 1: is more attracted than Rachel to me. I just mean, objectively,
11:02
Speaker 1: Rachel is better looking. Okay, yeah, you're laying we get
11:05
Speaker 1: We get it, John, all right, we get it. I
11:06
Speaker 1: agree with the comments that both my wife and I
11:09
Speaker 1: were the assholes in the situation. My wife's behavior is
11:11
Speaker 1: unacceptable and mine was cruel and have probably done lasting
11:14
Speaker 1: damage to my wife's self esteem. One hundred percent. I
11:17
Speaker 1: don't think on the asshole for failing to call out
11:19
Speaker 1: my wife sooner. Yeah, I mean it sounds like you
11:22
Speaker 1: told her in private constantly like hey, you can't say that,
11:26
Speaker 1: like you did, like, don't do that, and she just
11:28
Speaker 1: kept doing it. In my opinion. You should never publicly
11:30
Speaker 1: criticize your partner, so for me telling her privately that
11:33
Speaker 1: the jokes were inappropriate is enough. I also want to
11:36
Speaker 1: point out my wife and I have already had couples counseling,
11:38
Speaker 1: and my wife is in individual therapy. When I initially
11:42
Speaker 1: made the comment that Rachel is more attractive than her,
11:44
Speaker 1: my wife is furious, and rightly so. She said that
11:47
Speaker 1: it was a cruel thing to say, and that she
11:49
Speaker 1: wasn't jealous of Rachel, and insisted that the jokes were
11:51
Speaker 1: not offensive and everyone was just tiptoeing round the pretty girl.
11:55
Speaker 1: I don't agree with that. I think I think her
11:57
Speaker 1: comments were very pointed and intentional, So I think that's
12:01
Speaker 1: a little that's a little silly to say, unless she's
12:05
Speaker 1: just completely obtuse to the fact that those comments actually
12:08
Speaker 1: hurt people's feelings, which is a whole other thing. When
12:11
Speaker 1: we returned home from the trip and I received Matt's messages,
12:13
Speaker 1: I let my wife now. At first she was hurt,
12:16
Speaker 1: but eventually came around and said her behavior was inappropriate.
12:19
Speaker 1: She admitted that she is jealous of Rachel. We know Cassandra.
12:25
Speaker 1: She admitted that she is jealous of Rachel due to
12:27
Speaker 1: her looks and was embarrassed by her behavior. I also
12:30
Speaker 1: asked if she felt as if I found Rachel more
12:32
Speaker 1: attractive than her, but she didn't think that. It was
12:35
Speaker 1: just difficult seeing a younger, prettier girl get treated way
12:38
Speaker 1: better than her and she felt like second best. Totally
12:41
Speaker 1: normal feeling. By the way, that's completely normal, and that's
12:45
Speaker 1: so valid, but we need to work on how we
12:47
Speaker 1: react to that. Those are your feelings, and that doesn't
12:51
Speaker 1: apply to anyone but you, basically. And I'm assuming she's
12:55
Speaker 1: saying getting treated better because she's getting all this attention
12:58
Speaker 1: from other guys and everything. I think my wife I've
13:00
Speaker 1: noticed Rachel getting special treatment from other people and was
13:02
Speaker 1: jealous she didn't receive the same. My wife has sent
13:05
Speaker 1: an apology to Rachel, but I don't think the friendship
13:07
Speaker 1: is salvagable. I will still be attending the wedding, but
13:10
Speaker 1: my wife won't be coming along, even if she is reinvited.
13:14
Speaker 1: I mean, these are the consequences for your wife's actions.
13:17
Speaker 1: Would I ever go to a wedding. I would never
13:19
Speaker 1: go to a wedding without my husband unless there was
13:23
Speaker 1: something I don't know that that's a whole other thing.
13:26
Speaker 1: It is his friend. I don't know, what do you
13:29
Speaker 1: guys think, Like, is it weird that he's going to
13:31
Speaker 1: the wedding now and she's not? Maybe not because she's
13:33
Speaker 1: the one that was asshole. I don't know. I think
13:35
Speaker 1: it's worth my wife having some more therapy and I
13:38
Speaker 1: have to rethink things. This had definitely made me see
13:41
Speaker 1: things in a different light and I'm really disappointed. Thanks
13:44
Speaker 1: again everyone for the feedback. Yeah, this whole scenario would
13:47
Speaker 1: kind of just make me take a step back and
13:50
Speaker 1: be like, who did I marry? Because that again one
13:53
Speaker 1: thing to say behind closed doors and it still be icky.
13:56
Speaker 1: You know, it'd still be like whoa, what is what's
13:59
Speaker 1: going on? Look? Dig into this little deeper that to
14:01
Speaker 1: say it in front of somebody to be totally fine
14:04
Speaker 1: with that, not to see it be as rude. I mean,
14:06
Speaker 1: I know she did eventually, but that's because everybody else
14:09
Speaker 1: was like, what are you doing? This is terrible. I
14:11
Speaker 1: don't know. It would make me kind of rethink some
14:14
Speaker 1: things as well. This is a weird one. What do
14:16
Speaker 1: you guys think? I think the relationship is salvagable. I
14:19
Speaker 1: think they should do more therapy together probably and at
14:22
Speaker 1: least she apologized and she's owning her shit.
14:25
Speaker 2: Now.
14:25
Speaker 1: That's how you learn, that's how you grow. So yeah,
14:28
Speaker 1: let's see what the last comments say. This is in
14:30
Speaker 1: regards to when she said that Rachel, you can join
14:34
Speaker 1: the conversation once the smart people are done, and they
14:36
Speaker 1: said that is such a stupid thing to say. I
14:39
Speaker 1: bet she was real smug about it too. Also, the
14:41
Speaker 1: husband tried talking to her in public, so she left
14:43
Speaker 1: him no choice. I would be beyond mortified if my
14:46
Speaker 1: significant other did something like this and would have shut
14:49
Speaker 1: that shit down the first time it happened. Why did
14:52
Speaker 1: they all allow it to go on for so long? Yeah?
14:55
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, the not saying it in public. Like
14:58
Speaker 1: my if Caleb was to say something like that, like
15:01
Speaker 1: something so rude like that, I would be like, hey,
15:04
Speaker 1: what are you doing like that? That's not nice, even
15:07
Speaker 1: in a hushtue whatever. It's just like whoa dude, Like
15:10
Speaker 1: even maybe in a funny way to be like, that's
15:14
Speaker 1: a human being right there. I don't know, I feel
15:17
Speaker 1: like I agree with that, like shutting that shit down
15:20
Speaker 1: immediately should have been done. Like I know he said
15:22
Speaker 1: it in private a bunch, but yeah, they just sit
15:24
Speaker 1: there and be like, that's my wife. She's crazy. I
15:28
Speaker 1: don't know. That's kind of crazy. Comment utor that says, honestly,
15:31
Speaker 1: it may piss people off, but I learned a long
15:33
Speaker 1: time ago that if you're going to be rude in public,
15:36
Speaker 1: I'm going to call you out in public. Yes, Grandma,
15:39
Speaker 1: even you being called out in public is the most
15:41
Speaker 1: effective way to make sure it doesn't happen again. You
15:43
Speaker 1: want assass me and be salty, then don't say the
15:46
Speaker 1: mean thing in front of people in the first place.
15:48
Speaker 1: I didn't embarrass you. You embarrassed or offended someone else
15:50
Speaker 1: and yourself. I agree, And I think I come from
15:54
Speaker 1: a place of not being the most confident person and
15:56
Speaker 1: like the most outspoken person in public on behalf of
16:00
Speaker 1: somebody else. Though, I feel like I am like if
16:03
Speaker 1: it was to me, I'd be like, Okay, you think
16:07
Speaker 1: I'm pretty. If it's to somebody else, I'd be like, WHOA,
16:11
Speaker 1: what are we doing? Like that was really rude. I
16:14
Speaker 1: feel like that is just a natural thing that should
16:17
Speaker 1: be a thing. I agree. Another comment said all around yikes,
16:20
Speaker 1: I would not want to be with someone like that.
16:22
Speaker 1: I don't blame this person. Hell, I wouldn't blame friends
16:25
Speaker 1: for cutting me off, because it would make them question
16:28
Speaker 1: my character and judgment if I stay with someone like that.
16:30
Speaker 1: It was horrible before the racism reveal, and it became
16:33
Speaker 1: so much worse after. I don't think Ope will keep
16:36
Speaker 1: his best friend any longer if he stays with his
16:38
Speaker 1: wife A hundred percent, yeah, the whole. Yeah. Yeah, she's
16:43
Speaker 1: a megasshole, megasshole, and I think you really should kind
16:46
Speaker 1: of rethink some things. I think you should rethink some
16:50
Speaker 1: things for sure. Man, what do you guys think? Let
16:52
Speaker 1: me know. I think she needs some serious therapy, and
16:56
Speaker 1: I think these people should not be friends with her anymore.
16:58
Speaker 1: And I think her husband might need to take a
17:00
Speaker 1: step back, take a step back, revaluate who you're married.
17:03
Speaker 1: That's what I think. Let me know what you think.
17:05
Speaker 1: Let's move on.
17:06
Speaker 2: Okay, Next up my twenty six male girlfriends. Twenty eight
17:10
Speaker 2: female ex warned me about her best friend thirty two male.
17:15
Speaker 2: I think he was right.
17:17
Speaker 1: Okay. Let me let me just so you a dude
17:22
Speaker 1: and your girlfriend's ex, A dude warned you about another
17:27
Speaker 1: dude who's her best friend. Got it. We've been dating
17:31
Speaker 1: for four months now and everything has been great except
17:34
Speaker 1: for one thing. Her bff dude is clearly in love
17:37
Speaker 1: with her, but she refuses to see it. Aunte's all
17:40
Speaker 1: best time. Okay, sometimes you know, but we'll see. We'll see.
17:45
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe it's all innocent and whatever, but we'll see.
17:47
Speaker 1: I have a feeling it's not based off of this
17:50
Speaker 1: having updates, so we'll see. He is always joking about
17:53
Speaker 1: how he is the one who will make her the
17:55
Speaker 1: happiest and that she should be with as they are soulmates,
17:58
Speaker 1: et cetera. Okay, so yeah, he loves her. He loves her.
18:01
Speaker 1: He has a shrine of her in his closet for sure.
18:04
Speaker 1: She has known the dude for close to eight years
18:06
Speaker 1: now and has never dated him, but he has been
18:09
Speaker 1: her bff for a very long time. It didn't bother
18:12
Speaker 1: me until she started bringing him on our dates as
18:15
Speaker 1: he was feeling lonely and he has no other friends.
18:21
Speaker 1: Guy's third wheeling so hard. Oh no, this is terrible, Seriously.
18:26
Speaker 1: Dude is thirty two years old, but I have never
18:29
Speaker 1: seen him with any friends. In fact, our first fight
18:32
Speaker 1: was also about him, as she was asking me to
18:35
Speaker 1: take him with me when I was going to hang
18:37
Speaker 1: out with my friends. But I drew a clear red
18:39
Speaker 1: line not happening. Oh my god, she's treating her BFF
18:42
Speaker 1: like it's her Like it's her like fifteen year old son, Like,
18:45
Speaker 1: come on, take him with you. He doesn't do guys
18:48
Speaker 1: stuff all the time because he's with me all the time.
18:50
Speaker 1: He just wants to hang out with you. This is
18:53
Speaker 1: her best friend own. No, this is really bad, I dude,
18:58
Speaker 1: just leave. Also, around one month ago, her ex contacted
19:01
Speaker 1: me via Facebook. We attended the same college and asked
19:04
Speaker 1: me to be careful about the BFF. Okay, okay, so
19:07
Speaker 1: this is the X coming, her ex coming and being like,
19:10
Speaker 1: what joke? Dude. At that time, I thought it was
19:13
Speaker 1: just something a jealous X would say, But now I
19:16
Speaker 1: agree with him one hundred percent. I went out of
19:18
Speaker 1: his ways, like run over rut. Dude calls her regularly
19:22
Speaker 1: when she's out with me, always tries to come with
19:25
Speaker 1: us on our dates, and generally makes demands on her
19:27
Speaker 1: time so much that sometimes I feel like a third wheel.
19:30
Speaker 1: Now I should make it clear that my girlfriend never
19:32
Speaker 1: crosses any boundaries with him, but at the same time,
19:35
Speaker 1: she doesn't shut him down forcefully. At first, I thought
19:38
Speaker 1: about giving her an ultimatum, But ours is a four
19:40
Speaker 1: month old relationship and they go back eight years. There's
19:43
Speaker 1: no point in giving an ultimatum. So the only other
19:46
Speaker 1: way is to break up with her, which is a
19:47
Speaker 1: shame because she is an awesome girlfriend. Apart from this,
19:51
Speaker 1: Is there any other way, Reddit, anything I can do
19:53
Speaker 1: that our relationship doesn't break down? I would really like
19:56
Speaker 1: to hear any in all plans, please, guys, Thank you, Tom,
20:00
Speaker 1: call you Tom, talk to her. Why are the only
20:03
Speaker 1: options to give her an ultimatum or to break up
20:07
Speaker 1: with her? Why are those the only two things? It
20:09
Speaker 1: didn't say in here that you said that you're very
20:12
Speaker 1: uncomfortable and that you'd like, you know, it would be
20:16
Speaker 1: preferable to you if you could go on dates alone,
20:19
Speaker 1: which I don't think is too much to ask. That
20:21
Speaker 1: you kind of feel like a third wheel. Sometimes you can.
20:24
Speaker 1: You can be vulnerable with your significant other here and
20:28
Speaker 1: just say what makes you uncomfortable, and then you can
20:30
Speaker 1: act accordingly to how she reacts to that. And if
20:33
Speaker 1: it's just like no, like I think it's fine and
20:37
Speaker 1: he should be able to do this, and I'll say,
20:39
Speaker 1: then there you go. There's your answer, buddy, walk away,
20:42
Speaker 1: walk away, from that relationship. It's four months old. You
20:44
Speaker 1: don't need that shit, all right. But if she's like,
20:46
Speaker 1: oh wow, okay, yeah, I you know, he's always just
20:48
Speaker 1: been like that and that's just how then you can
20:52
Speaker 1: stay in the relationship or hey, you can still leave.
20:54
Speaker 1: You don't need a reason. But that would be my
20:58
Speaker 1: My advice would just be to talk to her, see
21:00
Speaker 1: how she reacts, and then move on from there. Let's
21:02
Speaker 1: see what the comment said. Is he the reason why
21:04
Speaker 1: her ex and her broke up? She needs a serious
21:07
Speaker 1: wake up call. This relationship is between you and her.
21:09
Speaker 1: Her BFF doesn't feature. It's okay if occasionally you hang out,
21:13
Speaker 1: but bringing him along dates ist up and you need
21:15
Speaker 1: to tell her that. If she can't see that, then
21:18
Speaker 1: that's a problem. Exactly what I said. Okay, me and
21:22
Speaker 1: Reddit always on the same same wavelength, all right. Yeah,
21:25
Speaker 1: It's just like maybe she's she I mean, she's had
21:28
Speaker 1: this friend for eight years. Maybe this is just how
21:30
Speaker 1: they are. Is it normal? What's normal? You know? I
21:33
Speaker 1: don't know. And does it add a little bit of
21:36
Speaker 1: friction because it's a girl and a guy and she's
21:39
Speaker 1: into guys? Probably? Yeah, you know, so, yeah, I agree.
21:44
Speaker 1: Another comment said he can tease the issue without making
21:47
Speaker 1: it her ultimatum exactly what I said. Then see whose
21:51
Speaker 1: boundaries she thinks are reasonable. OPI can decide if he
21:54
Speaker 1: needs to leave, then he will also know he raised
21:57
Speaker 1: the issue and at least tribe. Yeah, yeah, this's exactly
21:59
Speaker 1: op to that. Here's some context. We didn't get this.
22:02
Speaker 1: I have talked about this with her at least five times.
22:06
Speaker 1: The only thing remaining is to say that if I
22:08
Speaker 1: see him, I am out, but frankly I am tired now.
22:12
Speaker 1: Her ex said the BFF will wear you out, and
22:14
Speaker 1: he was right. Okay, so this was brought up. I
22:18
Speaker 1: wonder what you said though, like did you say it
22:20
Speaker 1: jokingly or like were you straight up about it? But
22:23
Speaker 1: you're saying that the only thing remaining to say is
22:25
Speaker 1: that I don't ever want to see him again. So
22:28
Speaker 1: I feel like you have. You've said your piece, and
22:30
Speaker 1: then that's fine. Then the ultimatum is I mean, ultimatums
22:34
Speaker 1: are rough. I guess that is an ultimatum. If you're
22:36
Speaker 1: going to continue to see this person as much as
22:39
Speaker 1: you are seeing them, I'm not comfortable with it. So
22:41
Speaker 1: I can't be with you anymore, you know, And that's fine.
22:43
Speaker 1: You can have those boundaries. And luckily we have an update,
22:46
Speaker 1: so let's read it update slash edit. I've decided to
22:49
Speaker 1: break up with her. Okay, well, all right, yeah, all right,
22:54
Speaker 1: sure I can talk with her again, but I have
22:56
Speaker 1: already talked to her five times with nothing to show
22:59
Speaker 1: for it. So I will do it tonight when I
23:01
Speaker 1: get off work. Doing it over text doesn't seem to
23:03
Speaker 1: be nice. Thank you for helping me reach a conclusion.
23:06
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Okay, all right, I wish we had more,
23:10
Speaker 1: but we do. We have a two updates, no final update.
23:13
Speaker 1: So I broke up with her. Okay, it was difficult
23:16
Speaker 1: to do, but I knew it was the right thing
23:18
Speaker 1: to do. I went to her apartment and basically told
23:20
Speaker 1: her that this relationship is not working for me. She
23:22
Speaker 1: was surprised, as we had just watched a movie on
23:24
Speaker 1: the weekend, so I took the opportunity and explained to
23:27
Speaker 1: her that it was supposed to be a date with
23:30
Speaker 1: just us two and instead she brought her bff there. Okay, well,
23:33
Speaker 1: that's yeah, that's done. I'd be out way a long
23:38
Speaker 1: time ago, so I don't blame you. I told her
23:40
Speaker 1: that I have no issue with her friendship with her BFF,
23:42
Speaker 1: but he has been regularly infringing in on our time
23:46
Speaker 1: and that is something which has always overshadowed our relationship.
23:49
Speaker 1: And I have absolutely no interest in competing for her
23:51
Speaker 1: attention with her BFF. Also, the dude openly flirts with
23:54
Speaker 1: you right in front of me, and I have absolutely
23:56
Speaker 1: no desire to be in this kind of dysfunctional relationship. Oh,
24:00
Speaker 1: this is goodbye. Hopefully you were able to put boundaries
24:02
Speaker 1: with your BFF before moving on with someone else. And
24:05
Speaker 1: if you don't, then it's not my headache anymore. Damn,
24:09
Speaker 1: he's laying it out. I wonder if the other guys
24:11
Speaker 1: said this too. And she's just like, these guys are
24:14
Speaker 1: so weird. And then the best friend's like a lot
24:17
Speaker 1: of you, let's get married and run away, and she's like,
24:20
Speaker 1: you're so silly, Let's watch Aladdin. And then he goes
24:23
Speaker 1: on to say, and then I walked away as she
24:25
Speaker 1: was trying to say, it's not like that she has
24:28
Speaker 1: no feelings for the BFF and he was just lonely.
24:31
Speaker 1: It sounds like she really doesn't have feelings for the
24:33
Speaker 1: BFF and this guy's just hanging by a thread, hoping
24:36
Speaker 1: that she does one day. I mean, that doesn't change anything.
24:39
Speaker 1: It's still uncomfortable for you. If it was the other
24:41
Speaker 1: way around and this was Die having a girlfriend around
24:44
Speaker 1: with the girlfriend being uncomfortable, would be like, why are
24:47
Speaker 1: we still here? Honey? You know I am sad right now,
24:50
Speaker 1: but I will be okay eventually. Thank you for the support, guys,
24:52
Speaker 1: it was appreciated. I think you did the right thing.
24:55
Speaker 1: I don't think you need to stay and just like
24:57
Speaker 1: deal with this. I think she needs to figure out.
25:00
Speaker 1: Hopefully she figures out what's going on with her and
25:02
Speaker 1: the best friend and figures out some boundaries before she
25:04
Speaker 1: moves on. But hey, that's not your problem anymore, you know,
25:07
Speaker 1: common said. If she can't see the problem by now,
25:09
Speaker 1: she never will. I think so until the BFF like
25:12
Speaker 1: confesses his love to her and she's like, oh, they
25:16
Speaker 1: were right. Shit, you know, I don't think she will.
25:19
Speaker 1: Another comment says that this is what I thought was funny.
25:22
Speaker 1: She now has two exes that pointed out her BFF
25:24
Speaker 1: was a big problem in the relationship, but instead of
25:26
Speaker 1: acknowledging it might be a little too much, she goes
25:29
Speaker 1: straight for the It's not like that line. The next
25:31
Speaker 1: one says, pay it forward and more. The next guy,
25:33
Speaker 1: it's just like this, this domino effect. It's turning into
25:37
Speaker 1: a horror movie, a thriller movie. Flast common says, how
25:40
Speaker 1: can you have such little respect that you follow someone
25:42
Speaker 1: around hoping their standards eventually fall enough for you to
25:46
Speaker 1: meet them. And why would you want someone like that
25:48
Speaker 1: around you at all times? Costing you relationships? They have
25:51
Speaker 1: some interesting codependency going on, and I think they need
25:54
Speaker 1: to address it. I don't think they will. I think
25:56
Speaker 1: they will get married. When they get into like their
25:59
Speaker 1: four do use something, they'll just be like, well, I
26:02
Speaker 1: guess you're the only one that's left, so and he'll
26:04
Speaker 1: be like yes, and then he'll light his shrine on
26:08
Speaker 1: fire and hide it and she'll never know that he
26:10
Speaker 1: was obsessed with this whole time. But what do you
26:12
Speaker 1: guys think? What do I know? I'm a YouTuber, you know.
26:14
Speaker 1: But let's read. Let's read one more. Okay, next one
26:17
Speaker 1: sounds like a man.
26:18
Speaker 2: Scali like refusing to promise my best friend one hundred percent.
26:23
Speaker 2: And I wouldn't sleep with a mutual friend.
26:25
Speaker 1: Oh no, let's get into it. Hi, thirty female, I
26:29
Speaker 1: have a best friend, twenty nine, female of thirteen years.
26:33
Speaker 1: She is in a long term, committed relationship seven plus
26:36
Speaker 1: years and lives with her partner. We also share a
26:39
Speaker 1: mutual friend, Aaron, thirty male. About eight years ago, my
26:44
Speaker 1: friend and Aaron had a brief situation ship. They slept
26:47
Speaker 1: together once and then tried to date very briefly long distance,
26:50
Speaker 1: but it ended because he did not want to pursue
26:53
Speaker 1: any further. She was upset at the time, and it
26:55
Speaker 1: never became a mutual relationship. After that, they stayed friendly
26:59
Speaker 1: for a while. Then I lost touch for several years
27:01
Speaker 1: and reconnected as friends about a year ago. There has
27:04
Speaker 1: been nothing romantic between them since. I hope, so she's
27:07
Speaker 1: in a relationship all right. Recently, Aaron broke up with
27:09
Speaker 1: his long term girlfriend. Before that happened, my friend and
27:12
Speaker 1: I had already planned a trip to visit him together,
27:15
Speaker 1: which we have done before. This time. We were planning
27:17
Speaker 1: to stay at his place instead of a hotel. After
27:20
Speaker 1: his breakup, my friends started making comments like haha, just
27:23
Speaker 1: please don't sleep with each other. Okay, it was framed
27:27
Speaker 1: as a joke, but it was clear she was anxious.
27:30
Speaker 1: I asked her directly if something was bothering her. I'm
27:33
Speaker 1: gonna save my notes for later. I'm going to save
27:35
Speaker 1: my ADHD notes. I told her two things clearly. One,
27:39
Speaker 1: I was not planning to sleep with him. Two, I
27:42
Speaker 1: was not comfortable promising one hundred percent that I would
27:45
Speaker 1: not because I do not like my potential or hypothetical
27:48
Speaker 1: relationships being policed, and it did not feel okay making
27:52
Speaker 1: absolute promises about future situations just to manage someone else's anxiety.
27:57
Speaker 1: I agree with you, queen, I'm walking a lie. I
28:01
Speaker 1: kind of agree with you. Like, you know, there's being
28:04
Speaker 1: like a really good girlfriend and all this stuff, but
28:06
Speaker 1: this whole situation is like you've been in a she's
28:08
Speaker 1: been in a relationship for so many years and she's
28:11
Speaker 1: with she's with this guy. Why would she care about that?
28:16
Speaker 1: Like it's been so long? What if you this person
28:19
Speaker 1: op writing this and this guy Aaron is if they're
28:22
Speaker 1: really compatible and if it's like, why would she want
28:24
Speaker 1: to stop that? That's I would hate to be her
28:29
Speaker 1: significant other being like what you know? I don't know,
28:32
Speaker 1: Let me keep rereading. Sorry I said I wouldn't give notes.
28:34
Speaker 1: I was not trying to be evasive. I was trying
28:36
Speaker 1: to be honest. While also setting a boundary. The next day,
28:39
Speaker 1: I reiterated that I was still not planning to sleep
28:41
Speaker 1: with him. Her response was essentially that she was canceling
28:44
Speaker 1: the trip out. She like, really it doesn't want him,
28:48
Speaker 1: Like is she okay with other people being with him?
28:51
Speaker 1: Or is it because just because like she's been with him.
28:54
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is weird. It's like I wasn't
29:01
Speaker 1: I'd be like, okay, I don't know, because like i'd
29:04
Speaker 1: want to respect it. But also it's like, but you've
29:07
Speaker 1: been in a seven year relationship, but I don't know.
29:11
Speaker 1: I don't want to seem like I'm not a girl's girl.
29:12
Speaker 1: But this is also I feel like it's odd to
29:15
Speaker 1: ask somebody to to to not do that when you're
29:20
Speaker 1: when they're an adult person and it's consensual and they're
29:23
Speaker 1: built single all stuff. I don't know, it seems odd
29:26
Speaker 1: to me. She said she was canceling because the uncertainty
29:28
Speaker 1: made her anxious and she needed to take care of herself.
29:31
Speaker 1: I feel like she's very self involved, like she needs
29:34
Speaker 1: to be the center of attention in this specific friendship,
29:38
Speaker 1: like she always needs to be the one that was
29:40
Speaker 1: with him kind of thing, and there can be like
29:42
Speaker 1: that little little intimacy thing there, even if they're not intimate.
29:45
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, from my perspective, this felt like
29:48
Speaker 1: my word was not trusted unless I gave one hundred
29:50
Speaker 1: percent guarantee, and when I did not, the entire plan
29:53
Speaker 1: was shut down. I understand that anxiety is real, but
29:55
Speaker 1: it also feels unfair to expect me to give up
29:58
Speaker 1: autonomy or make absolute promises about hypothetical scenarios, especially when
30:03
Speaker 1: nothing inappropriate had happened and the history in question was many,
30:06
Speaker 1: many years ago. She did not clearly say what she
30:09
Speaker 1: expected me to do. Differently, she canceled the trip without
30:12
Speaker 1: further discussion. I feel like I was honest, respectful, and
30:15
Speaker 1: that my boundary was reasonable. So am I the asshole
30:18
Speaker 1: for refusing one hundred percent that I wouldn't sleep with
30:20
Speaker 1: him even though I said I wasn't planning to. No,
30:24
Speaker 1: I don't think you're the asshole. I think you were
30:25
Speaker 1: very honest. To be honest, Yeah, I feel like lying,
30:28
Speaker 1: and I mean, I know you weren't planning to, but
30:30
Speaker 1: you're like, I don't know what the future hols like,
30:32
Speaker 1: maybe we get really along and something happens, and then
30:35
Speaker 1: I had promised you this, and then that happens, and
30:37
Speaker 1: then I would have been lying to you. I don't know.
30:40
Speaker 1: I feel like you were just being very honest. It's like,
30:42
Speaker 1: I can't promise that, but I'm not planning on it,
30:45
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, you know. It's like somebody's saying, like,
30:47
Speaker 1: promise me you'll never get a tattoo ever again, and
30:50
Speaker 1: I'd be like, I'm not planning on it, but I
30:52
Speaker 1: can't promise that like a man, I don't know. I
30:55
Speaker 1: know that doesn't that that's a bad example, but you
30:58
Speaker 1: know what I mean, it's just weird. We haven't additional
31:00
Speaker 1: context that for people that asked feel clarifications that seem
31:03
Speaker 1: important for understanding my response, Thank you one. This was
31:06
Speaker 1: not limited to this specific trip. My friend told me
31:09
Speaker 1: she did not want me to hook up with Aaron
31:11
Speaker 1: at all, not now and not in the future. She
31:15
Speaker 1: also said she would be uncomfortable with me having any
31:18
Speaker 1: kind of romantic relationship with him. Not just why are
31:20
Speaker 1: you poleasing her? You're in a relationship, Why do you
31:23
Speaker 1: care so much? Are you still in love with him?
31:25
Speaker 1: That's what I'm getting right now. Too many people ask
31:27
Speaker 1: why I couldn't just say sure, no problem, I won't
31:30
Speaker 1: do it. I think it's because of the thing I said.
31:32
Speaker 1: It's like cause you might and then I mean you
31:35
Speaker 1: could just say like, hey, sorry, it happened. I know
31:38
Speaker 1: not to, but then it seems like you knew that
31:42
Speaker 1: you promised, and then you still did it anyway, and
31:43
Speaker 1: it's like even worse. You know, it's just it's it's
31:46
Speaker 1: throwing throwing more flames into a fire. And then she says,
31:50
Speaker 1: the reason is that this was not framed as a
31:52
Speaker 1: one time reassurance about this trip, but as a blanket
31:55
Speaker 1: expectation about our relationship going forward. I was being asked
31:58
Speaker 1: to promise that I would not sue anything with a
32:01
Speaker 1: at all indefinitely, and my response, I'm not planning to,
32:04
Speaker 1: but I'm not comfortable with my relationships being pleased was intentional.
32:07
Speaker 1: There is prior context where my friend has tried to
32:10
Speaker 1: restrict my relationships based on her feelings, even when nothing
32:13
Speaker 1: was actively happening, which I was agreeing to a blanket
32:16
Speaker 1: promise felt important to push back on. Yeah, I feel
32:19
Speaker 1: like that's fair. In one case, during university, I was
32:21
Speaker 1: starting to talk to a guy we both knew. She
32:24
Speaker 1: asked me not to pursue anything because she wanted to
32:26
Speaker 1: keep him as an option. I agreed and stepped back.
32:29
Speaker 1: She later started dating him about two years after that,
32:31
Speaker 1: and they are still together. Okay, okay, so that one
32:34
Speaker 1: worked out, I guess, but still, I mean, she's like,
32:36
Speaker 1: that one's mine just in case this other one doesn't
32:39
Speaker 1: work out. In another case, she stopped speaking to me
32:41
Speaker 1: for about two months over a guy she had liked
32:43
Speaker 1: years earlier in school, even though nothing had happened between them,
32:46
Speaker 1: and I explicitly asked if she wanted me to stay away.
32:49
Speaker 1: I was told do whatever you want and then ignored. Yeah.
32:52
Speaker 1: After over a week of no communication, I eventually dated him.
32:55
Speaker 1: That relationship later became my long term relationship and engagement.
32:59
Speaker 1: Oh wow, because of this history, I do not feel
33:01
Speaker 1: comfortable agreeing to a promise that would restrict my relationships
33:04
Speaker 1: in general, even though I was clear that I was
33:06
Speaker 1: not planning to pursue anything. Yeah, that's fair. If this
33:09
Speaker 1: is like a pattern thing, which I felt like it
33:12
Speaker 1: was when you were saying that, like it's just a
33:14
Speaker 1: thing that happens a lot, that's completely fair to me.
33:17
Speaker 1: And three, my friend's partner is aware that she and
33:20
Speaker 1: a had a brief situation many years ago. He's under
33:23
Speaker 1: the impression that this is long over and not an issue.
33:26
Speaker 1: Because of that, he has been okay with her, staying
33:28
Speaker 1: in touch with A and with us traveling to his city.
33:31
Speaker 1: These visits have never involved the two of them alone.
33:34
Speaker 1: Every time she visits A, I was also there, except
33:37
Speaker 1: for one occasion when his girlfriend was present the entire time. Okay,
33:40
Speaker 1: but I'm assuming he's now not with her anymore. There
33:42
Speaker 1: has been no one on one time between them since
33:45
Speaker 1: they reconnected. This is why the request or a one
33:48
Speaker 1: hundred percent promise felt like an escalation rather than a
33:51
Speaker 1: simple reassurance. I don't think you're the asshole. Also, the
33:54
Speaker 1: verdict is not the asshole, because this is just odd.
33:57
Speaker 1: You can't do that. But luckily we haven't. Updates said
34:00
Speaker 1: She panicked because she interpreted our previous conversation as ME
34:04
Speaker 1: preparing the ground to hook up with him and reacted
34:07
Speaker 1: to that fear rather than anything that had actually happened.
34:10
Speaker 1: She framed it as a misunderstanding. What's important for context
34:14
Speaker 1: is that by that point I had already said multiple
34:16
Speaker 1: times that I'm not planning to sleep with them. I
34:19
Speaker 1: reiterated this again very clearly during this conversation. Nothing has happened.
34:23
Speaker 1: I'm not being sneaky, and this was never something I
34:26
Speaker 1: was actively pursuing. So after that the trip was back on.
34:29
Speaker 1: That said, I'm still left feeling pretty uncomfortable about how
34:32
Speaker 1: this played out, not because I want him, but because
34:34
Speaker 1: I don't understand why I had to repeatedly convince someone
34:37
Speaker 1: that nothing will ever happen when there was no concrete
34:40
Speaker 1: ground to suspect that it would other than the fact
34:43
Speaker 1: that we are both single now. I am also still
34:45
Speaker 1: not okay with my relationships being policed. In principle, this
34:48
Speaker 1: is not about this specific person. It is about the
34:50
Speaker 1: expectation that I should provide guarantees or reassurances indefinitely to
34:55
Speaker 1: manage someone else's anxiety, which I do not think is
34:57
Speaker 1: normal or healthy between two adults. It's not full stop,
35:00
Speaker 1: to be honest. We agreed to put the broader conversation
35:03
Speaker 1: about boundaries and control on hold for now and deal
35:06
Speaker 1: with it later. The trip is back on. Hopefully it
35:09
Speaker 1: goes well, because many people asked, I'm not planning to
35:12
Speaker 1: go to her partner about this. At this point, nothing
35:15
Speaker 1: concrete has happened, and while I have my own thoughts
35:17
Speaker 1: about why she reacted the way she did. Those are
35:20
Speaker 1: still subjective interpretations. I do not think it is my
35:23
Speaker 1: place to escalate things or put ideas in his head
35:26
Speaker 1: when no clear lines have been crossed. My plan is
35:29
Speaker 1: to see how things actually play out this weekend, and
35:31
Speaker 1: then afterward have an honest conversation with her as a
35:34
Speaker 1: friend about why the situation affected her so strongly, especially
35:37
Speaker 1: given that their history was eight years ago and she
35:40
Speaker 1: is in a committed relationship now. Wish us all luck.
35:43
Speaker 1: I will update everyone after the weekend. When was this?
35:46
Speaker 1: I don't see another update. I don't see another update.
35:48
Speaker 1: It was Wait, no, it's been over a week. Where's
35:51
Speaker 1: your other update? She forgot about us? Oh, we do
35:54
Speaker 1: have another update. I did digging. I did digging. I
35:56
Speaker 1: found it. Yes, the weekend ended up going really well.
35:59
Speaker 1: Okay good. I said that I forgot to comment because
36:01
Speaker 1: I got so excited and I got upset that there
36:02
Speaker 1: wasn't another update. But there is. I think you're handling
36:04
Speaker 1: that well, you know. I think that's a good way
36:06
Speaker 1: to go about it, to just be like, let's just
36:08
Speaker 1: see what's going on, see where her head's at. If
36:11
Speaker 1: this is just like a whole attention thing. Do I
36:14
Speaker 1: think it's fair to her significant other? No? I think
36:17
Speaker 1: I would want to know, But like you said, it's like,
36:20
Speaker 1: what am I supposed to say, Like she said, I'm
36:22
Speaker 1: not allowed. Maybe shit, I don't know, but I think
36:25
Speaker 1: this is fine. Let's just read. I'm interested to know
36:27
Speaker 1: what happened. Nothing happened between me and A. There was
36:30
Speaker 1: no weird vibes, no tension, and honestly everything felt normal
36:33
Speaker 1: and relaxed. I also didn't sense any lingering or inappropriate
36:36
Speaker 1: energy from my friend toward him during the trip, so
36:38
Speaker 1: it might just be like just that thing. It's just like,
36:43
Speaker 1: you can't do that because I already did that, so
36:47
Speaker 1: you can't do that, which is a problem all in itself.
36:50
Speaker 1: But whatever. After we got back, my friend and I
36:52
Speaker 1: talked again. She clarified that she would probably be okay
36:55
Speaker 1: if we were ever aiming at something serious, but what
36:58
Speaker 1: she was afraid of was a sleeping together casually and
37:00
Speaker 1: then creating awkwardness or damaging the group dynamic. That's valid
37:04
Speaker 1: as well, but like with the history with her, like
37:09
Speaker 1: but the other people, I'm just like that might be
37:11
Speaker 1: one of the reasons. But I feel like there is
37:12
Speaker 1: something else underlying. I still feel like this was a
37:15
Speaker 1: bit of backtracking compared to how things were framed before
37:17
Speaker 1: the weekend. Yeah, I agree, but at this point I'm
37:19
Speaker 1: choosing not to dig further into it. In the end,
37:22
Speaker 1: I actually got what I needed from the situation while
37:24
Speaker 1: we were both going through breakups. It isn't just about that.
37:26
Speaker 1: I realized we are quite similar as people, and talking
37:29
Speaker 1: to him felt easy and natural and made me see
37:31
Speaker 1: that there's potential for a genuine friendship there over time.
37:33
Speaker 1: As a bonus, he helped me set up a Tinder
37:35
Speaker 1: profile and I actually have a few dates lined up,
37:38
Speaker 1: so that part worked out pretty well. One surprising detail
37:41
Speaker 1: was that my friend's boyfriend was aware of the whole
37:43
Speaker 1: situation and fully on her side, which honestly confused me
37:47
Speaker 1: a bit. I still have questions about that dynamic, but
37:50
Speaker 1: I'm not planning to get into it further. Okay, Well,
37:52
Speaker 1: there you go. That's not your problem, not your company.
37:55
Speaker 1: Everybody knows. Everything is that according to her? Though who's
37:59
Speaker 1: that according to apparently? I don't know, but it sounds
38:01
Speaker 1: like you heard it from him, You heard it from
38:03
Speaker 1: the horse's mouth, So it's like, okay, that's not my problem.
38:09
Speaker 1: You guys do what you want to do. That feel
38:10
Speaker 1: makes me feel better about the whole situation because they
38:13
Speaker 1: can feel however they want about that. Sorry for the
38:15
Speaker 1: less than underwhelming update, and my apologies to everyone who
38:18
Speaker 1: was rooting for me to sleep with the I. I
38:21
Speaker 1: was just like, just like, go like hang out. You know,
38:25
Speaker 1: I think that's great. Yeah, no, I think I think
38:27
Speaker 1: that worked out great. I think you handle the situation
38:29
Speaker 1: really well and very maturely. And yeah, she's glad it
38:33
Speaker 1: worked out. Comment say, not the asshole. To be honest,
38:35
Speaker 1: it's a red flag. Your friend would get so worked
38:38
Speaker 1: up over this when they are already in a committed relationship.
38:41
Speaker 1: If I was a significant other, I would be so
38:43
Speaker 1: pissed to find out my parture is anxious about a
38:45
Speaker 1: friend potentially sleeping with another thame but apparently he didn't care,
38:49
Speaker 1: So maybe they're into that. I don't know. I don't know.
38:52
Speaker 1: I not my business. Another comment said, not the asshole.
38:54
Speaker 1: She's still not over this guy and claims possession despite
38:57
Speaker 1: being in another long term relationship. Rip your friend, though,
39:01
Speaker 1: Yeah this was I think before I think this was
39:04
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it was before the update. Technically, so we know.
39:08
Speaker 1: We know now that he feels a different way allegedly. Okay,
39:12
Speaker 1: I'm glad that other people feel like that. I'm like,
39:16
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. Let me know if you
39:17
Speaker 1: like these types of videos. I like hanging out. I
39:19
Speaker 1: need to go lay horizontally right now, and my head
39:23
Speaker 1: doesn't feel too good. But hopefully this was mildly entertaining
39:26
Speaker 1: for you to watch. And don't forget that. We have
39:29
Speaker 1: a new mobile game that's out. Caleb and I my husband,
39:32
Speaker 1: we made a mobile game with our very very small team.
39:35
Speaker 1: We're so proud of it, so make sure to go
39:37
Speaker 1: check that out. You can download it on the app Store.
39:39
Speaker 1: Legend of Sulk, Super fun. You can get some freak candy.
39:43
Speaker 1: But yeah, I appreciate you guys. Love you guys. I'll
39:45
Speaker 1: see you the next one, all right. Bye,