Latest / Jessi Morgan Devotions for the Christian Heart Podcast / Dead & Rock Bottom

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Dead & Rock Bottom · Jessi Morgan Devotions for the Christian Heart Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to the Jesse Morgan Devotions for the Christian Heart Podcast, episode 77.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: This week's devotional is titled Dead and Rock Bottom, Concluding First Samuel.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Jesse Morgan.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: I used to just share home decor and renovation tips on social media, but now I'm sharing something even closer to my heart.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: My journey in love for Jesus Christ, my Savior.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Jesse Morgan Devotions for the Christian Hawk Podcast.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: This is a weekly devotional I started back in May 2024, but the inspiration for it came much earlier.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: It was rooted in a faith journey that began when my daughter was born four months early in 2023.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Through that challenging time, God worked in ways that truly amazed me.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: On this podcast, I share personal stories of faith woven together with Scripture to show just how incredible God's word can be in our everyday lives.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: My hope is that through these stories, you'll be encouraged, uplifted, and reminded of God's love and presence, no matter what you're going through.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I invite you to spend less than 15 minutes with me each week as we reflect on these devotionals together.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Let's all pray within.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Episode 77, key passages, 1 Samuel 28 through 30, dead in rock bottom.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the podcast.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um we are wrapping up as what I like to call David Act One, David and the Monarchy, Act One.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: We are at the end of 1 Samuel.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And these three chapters, chapter 28 through 30, whew, they are heavy, they are layered, they are emotional, they are spiritual.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: I even thought about splitting them up because um these chapters really carry so much weight, but the more I read them, the more I realized these chapters are meant to stay together.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: And the theme that ties them together is simple but powerful.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Rock bottom.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And not just hitting rock bottom, but what do you do next?
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And before we get into um these rock bottom stories, which are going to evolve David and Saul, I want to start with a personal story because some something it's one basically I wanted to really share this personal story because this is something I've never shared this way, but it fits some way perfect in my opinion.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I just feel like God reveals at the perfect times.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um my rock bottom, it wasn't a financial rock bottom, it wasn't career rock bottom, it was emotional, it was heartbreak rock bottom, but it shaped me spiritually, it really did.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if my ex is listening, uh, we're good.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I promise.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: No animosity, life moved on.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: So here it goes.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was a senior at the University of Alabama, Roll Tide.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: My best friend Lorna, she knows this story too well, so she'll probably be laughing as she hears this.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: But at the beginning of my senior year, the start of the semester in August of 2008, I reconnected or just like connected with this guy, someone I knew of but never noticed before till then.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh um one night um at a party, we were all at a party, and I wasn't even dancing, just sitting by the bar, and the Olympics were on.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: I remember this.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and the redeemed team was was like our with representing the United States, which was Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, D.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Wade, Carmillo Anthony, Chris Paul, etc.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And this guy walks up to me at the bar and walks up and says the cheesiest line ever.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: He says, Who's better?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: The redeem team or the dream team?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, corny as ever, but also adorable because he knew I loved sports and he literally had no game.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And we talked for hours, we exchanged numbers, and the next day I accidentally on purpose invited him over to help me build a desk in my room.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: And after that, we were inseparable.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Then I left my, then I left for um within that first semester, still that same semester, I left for an eight-week internship in Atlanta.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I had to graduate, in order for me to graduate, I had to do an eight-week internship for my degree.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: So when I first left, at first we talked every night for hours when I was in Atlanta.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then suddenly he disappeared.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: No calls, no texts, no response, nothing.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Days went by, weeks went by.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: My heart was just shattered in real time.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: I visited Alabama for homecoming that semester, like later on in November, and I saw him from afar, and I said hey, when I walked by him, and he said, Hey, back and kept walking.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like we had never been anything.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: And because we kept our relationship private in the first place, I had to pretend like it never happened to.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And at the same time, all this was going on.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was like finishing out my internship, you know, of course, and then I go back in January for my last semester of college.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And at that time of, you know, going back to your last semester, I'm also dealing with, you know, obviously, you know, the situation with him.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: But also what was going on was I didn't get into the MBA program I wanted.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: The economy had collapsed.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: This was 2008, the mortgage crisis, right?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: So jobs were disappearing.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Graduates of 2008, 2009 really didn't have jobs to go to.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it looked like I'd be graduating and moving home with my parents, just moving home and having to try to find a job that may not even be in my degree.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I also became the president of my sorority and I was dealing with some friendship stress and issues.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I was emotionally unraveling a bit.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and my best friend Lorna came to visit and said something that really woke me up in the midst of like around April of 2009.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: She said, Jess, you're thin.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: And she didn't mean cute thin.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: She meant I look sick.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And for the first time, I really looked at myself and I realized I had lost like 12 to 13 pounds.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: My face was a little sunken.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: My hair was falling out.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: I had a bald spot in the back of my head, two bald spots.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I wasn't eating or sleeping properly.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: I really had a lot on my mind, and I had hit a rock bottom.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was a little depressed, and it was just, you know, just not my best.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Fast forward, like a month and a half later to graduation weekend, you know, and I was graduating in May from Alabama, and I went to a party the night before my graduation, and one of his friends, you know, the guy that I was so in love with basically, one of his friends tried to talk to me, and he got weird.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: He got jealous, he was rude to his friend, just kind of made a scene, and I just snapped.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I said to him, I got up in his face and I said, What is your problem?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Mind your damn business.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's literally what I said.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: And he stared like a deer in headlights.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Later that night, he called me from a block number and asked if I could talk.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I just looked at that phone and I prayed.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Literally prayed, and I looked at God and I said, What do I do?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: I eventually, you know, went downstairs from my apartment.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: He's we sat in his car for two and a half hours, and he confessed that he loved me.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: He panicked when I left for that internship.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: He missed me so much he didn't know what to do.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't know how to handle his real feelings, he was overwhelmed by life.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: He ran because he was a coward.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: We cried, we hugged.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: It was like a lifetime movie in that car, um, of all the emotion and everything.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: We got closure, but we didn't get a reunion.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And when I drove away from Tuscaloosa for the last time after graduation, after saying goodbye to him, because he came to say bye to me, I cried.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: But something shifted.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And the further I got from that season or that college life experience, the clearer I saw my future direction.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to make that change.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I had to, you know, take the next step and move on from it.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized, now that I'm older, and I kind of realized it later on, like right after I graduated a year or two later, that God had separated us on purpose, God had redirected me, God had strengthened me, God prepared me, now that I'm 38 now, that prepared me for the right marriage that I needed in my life, the daughter that I have, the future that I have today.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And years later, um, years, years later, which was actually 2025, he actually committed to this girl he had been seeing for a long time and he got married.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: He got married.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was genuinely happy for him to see that he found happiness, but also genuinely grateful that God didn't let that relationship continue because I would still have been waiting at 38.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you, Lord, for moving me on.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Lord, for being there.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: So my rock bottom taught me two things of heart of um rock bottom of heartbreak per se.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: It taught me two things.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Do not play the victim and run to God, not away from him.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let God manage the situation for you.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Don't try to take it on completely yourself.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that is exactly the message I feel that's gonna really develop within 1 Samuel 28 through 30.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: So let's start.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Chapter 28, Saul sees the massive Philistine army and terror fills his heart.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is 1 Samuel 28 5.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And he finally calls on God, but the Lord did not answer him by dreams or by prophets or anything, anything, as it says in 1 Samuel 28 6.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because for years Saul wanted answers and not a relationship with God, relief, not repentance.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you really we go back into these chapters of 1 Samuel, it was a couple of chapters since Saul had really sought out God.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: So Saul had hit rock bottom because he was freaking out over this war, he was not hearing from God, and so he hit a spiritual rock bottom and reaches for darkness, basically.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: He goes to a medium, something God strictly forbids, something that Saul had outlawed in Israel as king in earlier chapters, mind you.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: And in Deuteronomy 18, 9 through 13, I think it does a really good job of understanding like what God doesn't want us to do when it comes to mediums and things like that.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I just I'm gonna read it because I really think it makes a lot of sense.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: It says, When you enter the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable things of the nations there.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices um sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritualist, or who consults the dead.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Anyone who does this is detestable to the Lord.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because of these same detestable practices, the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: And even in Leviticus 1931, it says, Do not turn to medians or seek out spiritualists, for you will be defiled by them.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: I am the Lord your God.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: So God forbids it.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: He forbids that because the spiritual world is real.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Calling the dead is real.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I used to not think that.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: I used to think, like, oh, you know, I don't believe in that stuff.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: I believe in God.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: It is real.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's not silly, it's not fake, it's not innocent fun.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's real.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: And Saul crosses the line, the spiritual boundary between the living and the dead, a line God has established.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: So let's move on.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to give you a little bit more details of like the teachings of the dead and final judgment.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Which final judgment is the lake of fire.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: So scripture teaches us two realms after death.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: It teaches us a realm with the Lord, the righteous dead, which you can look at Luke 23, 43, which you know is just paraphrasing, but it says, Today you will be with me in paradise.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: We can look at first, I mean 2nd Corinthians 5.8, absent from the body, spirit, present with the Lord.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Philippians 1.23, to depart and be with Christ is better.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's realm, you know, that's that's the realm with the Lord.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's the righteous dead.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's the that's the one we want to be a part of, right?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other realm is apart from God, waiting for final judgment, which is you can look at Luke 16, 23, which says torment in Hades.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Christ described basically a place of judgment after death.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And through a story that he talked about with the rich man in Lazarus.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: And if you look in Jude 1.6, it says spirits kept in darkness until judgment.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: We see 1 Peter 2 9 mentions unrighteousness kept under punishment.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it also talks about in Revelation 20, 13 through 14, that Hades gives up the dead for judgment.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: So the dead are not available to the living, the realms are sealed and they're separated.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't teach, we don't reach for them because we are children of the living God, as it says in Luke 20, 38.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: So Saul in desperation tries anything.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: And God interrupts it, by the way.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: He goes he goes to this medium, disguises himself, and wants her to summon a spirit, which actually the spirit of Samuel, you know, the prophet that starts that's always mentioned in the beginning of 1 Samuel.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because Samuel has been is is dead by this point.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: And the medium screams when she actually sees Samuel.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it says in 1 Samuel 28, 12, when the woman saw Samuel, she cried with the loud voice.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you know why she cried out?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because this wasn't her doing of reaching a spirit, a dead spirit.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: God overrode this situation, and Samuel appears and delivers judgment to Saul.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: God allowed Samuel to come from the dead just for this situation because it was like Saul just wasn't getting it.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And in verse um 28-8, it says, Samuel basically said to Saul from the dead, the Lord has turned away from you because you did not obey him.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it also says in 28 19, tomorrow you and your sons will be with me.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the the spirit of Samuel told Saul in that moment.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: So Saul collapses, he refuses food, he falls into despair, all this anxiety.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting because if you look in that chapter, the narrator of this book, of that chapter especially, makes something heartbreakingly clear that Saul does not repent, not once.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: He hits rock bottom, he caves, he feels sorry for himself.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: So now, with a little bit of a dramatic conversation here, let's shift to chapters 29 and 30, which is where David's hits his rock bottom.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Meanwhile, David has been drifting, as we know.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: He's living amongst the Philistines, but we talked about that last week, and not seeking God, no mention of prayer or worship in that time that he is living with the Philistines at first.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: So at one point, David is ready to fight with the Philistines against Israel.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: Can you believe that?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's how far he's fallen.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: So, but God blocks it.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: The Philistines reject David.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: They don't trust David to fight with them.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: That rejection becomes protection.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: David returns then to Ziglag, and everything is gone.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's where he was living.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: The city was burned, wives kidnapped, children, families taken, men were ready, his men were ready to stone him.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: They were just upset because they lost everything too.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: And this is David's rock bottom.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the difference.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: But David, but then it says um in 1 Samuel 36, it says, But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: David turns back to God, he repents, and he seeks direction.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: He goes and look, he speaks to God in 1 Samuel 30 30, verse 8, and says, Shall I pursue the Amekites?
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's who took everything.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: God answers and says, Pursue them, you will surely recover everything.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: David obeys, attacks, and wins and recovers everything.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Restoration begins, I believe, at repentance.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: So when I look back at my own heartbreak, that thin, stress, broken Jess in college, I see myself in both Saul and David.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: I see the moments where I spiraled, like Saul, feeling sorry for myself, collapsing inward, wanting to come, wanting comfort, but not growth and realization.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I see moments where I finally turned like David, seeking God, hearing God, trusting myself because God's going to be with me, and letting God redirect my life.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: These chapters remind us that rock bottom isn't what destroys you, rock bottom is what is supposed to reveal you, and you know what reveals to you.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: And Saul fell inward.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: David fell towards God.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to choose who I would be as well.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to fall, I wanted to for fall towards the Lord, not fall inward.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: So here's my question for you.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: When you hit rock bottom, do you panic like Saul and feel sorry for yourself?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you repent like David and try to get it together?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Do you spiral into fear or strengthen yourself in the Lord?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Do you chase voices in the wrong places, or you chase the voice of God?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because rock bottom will come.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: But what you do next, how you respond, determines everything.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: Saul's path ended in judgment, David's path led to restoration.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: And my path led to a husband, beautiful husband.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: A home, a daughter, a future, and a calling.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: Through this podcast, for example.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: So why?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because rock bottom is not the place God abandons you, rock bottom is the place God waits for you to turn to him.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Rock bottom is not the end.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's where God begins rebuilding you.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Let's pray.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Heavenly Father, thank you so much for the study of 1 Samuel.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: It is filled with storytelling, filled with courage, filled with, you know, mistakes, love, betrayal, but repentance, justice, your guidance, Lord.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: We thank you so much for the study of the first, you know, monarch of Israel, the future monarch of Israel.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Father, we thank you so much for your kindness and your love in all this.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for everybody listening.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: I pray that this is inspiring to somebody.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: I pray that this turns one more person to you, Lord.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: And we thank you so much for your guidance and love through this.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: In Jesus' name, amen.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: That concludes first Samuel's study.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for taking this journey on with me.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Excited for what's to come.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: It is Christmas season, the celebration of Jesus' birth.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: Till next time.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that wraps up this week's episode.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: My prayer is that these devotions bring you a little closer to God each day.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: If you felt encouraged, don't keep it to yourself.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: Share this episode with a friend or loved one who could use the same reminder.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: Be sure to hit subscribe so you never miss a weekly message.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: And if you like, leaving a kind review means so much.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: For more, check the show notes or connect with me on Instagram or TikTok at Jessie MorganFaith.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, this is Jesse Morgan praying off.