Latest / Billy The Kidd In The Morning / Dirty Little Secret: Guy Wears Fake Muscle Shirt On Date!
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: This is Dirty Little Secret. I wish you could hear
- 0:05Speaker 1: what's going off on off the air right now.
- 0:08Speaker 2: It's makes one or two point nine ability kid Candice
- 0:10Speaker 2: long pants producer Pooh Pooh complaining because I lost and
- 0:14Speaker 2: I only have to eat the parasite lettuce only he
- 0:17Speaker 2: goes you never get to wear anything or do anything well.
- 0:20Speaker 1: His punishments are like public embarrassment. He's on the wheel
- 0:23Speaker 1: and that's what it landed. Give me the face tattoos.
- 0:25Speaker 1: Put him on me.
- 0:25Speaker 2: Will that make you feel better? If I have a
- 0:27Speaker 2: parasite and face tattoos? Would you feel good? Yeah?
- 0:29Speaker 1: I probably would? Well get play.
- 0:32Speaker 2: Put him mommy, I will, okay, get him, go ahead,
- 0:35Speaker 2: Dirty Little Secret is on.
- 0:36Speaker 1: We're fighting behind the scenes. Hear me out last thirty
- 0:41Speaker 1: more minutes.
- 0:41Speaker 2: So we're done today.
- 0:43Speaker 1: I mean, I'm trying, but I want to give my
- 0:45Speaker 1: a wedgie skirt. I kind of want to. It's not
- 0:52Speaker 1: my fault he had to wear a skirt. It's not
- 0:55Speaker 1: your fault.
- 0:55Speaker 2: If I would have lost, you know, he would have
- 0:57Speaker 2: done me wrong. He would have done something so crazy
- 0:59Speaker 2: I would ad to. So, I mean, it's just that's life.
- 1:01Speaker 2: It's okay, it's fine. I am starting to sweat a
- 1:04Speaker 2: little bit though the tailor Farm's bag. Let us that
- 1:07Speaker 2: I'm eating right now. It's pretty much done. I'm pretty
- 1:09Speaker 2: much almost finished. I know that I'm trying to just
- 1:13Speaker 2: do the thing and get it done with and I
- 1:15Speaker 2: ate it too fast and it might be a combination
- 1:17Speaker 2: of that and a parasite.
- 1:18Speaker 1: I don't know.
- 1:18Speaker 2: I saw the bag move, no, I swear I saw
- 1:21Speaker 2: it get up and walk across the table. We'll find out,
- 1:25Speaker 2: all right, dirty little secret. If you got one eight
- 1:27Speaker 2: three three seven eight seven and one o two nine,
- 1:30Speaker 2: you have a dilemma slash secret.
- 1:32Speaker 3: I may have created like maybe the dumbest dating problem,
- 1:34Speaker 3: like of all time. Oh yeah, give you a little
- 1:39Speaker 3: little background here, Like I've been dating, you know, for
- 1:42Speaker 3: not too long, Like I've been on a few days,
- 1:44Speaker 3: like you know, with this girl, right some some things
- 1:46Speaker 3: are going really really well. And honestly, I'm shocked because
- 1:50Speaker 3: like she's out of my league, like she's dropped dead
- 1:52Speaker 3: gorgeous and I'm not ugly.
- 1:55Speaker 1: Or anything like that, but I'm not on our level
- 1:57Speaker 1: right right. I mean, I don't know if you maybe
- 2:00Speaker 1: you're underestimating yourself a little bit. Okay, Yeah, no, no,
- 2:03Speaker 1: you have to see it. She's like super model.
- 2:05Speaker 2: Man.
- 2:05Speaker 4: It's crazy, but man must be nice.
- 2:10Speaker 2: See I can already tell you must be a funny
- 2:12Speaker 2: dude then, because funny will make up for looks.
- 2:14Speaker 1: Yeah. So anyway, yeah.
- 2:16Speaker 3: So before we met in person, like, we were like
- 2:19Speaker 3: talking online. I'll admit I did a little social media
- 2:23Speaker 3: creeping and I found some like old pictures of her
- 2:25Speaker 3: with an X and the dude was built man, you know,
- 2:28Speaker 3: big arms, broad chests like he was.
- 2:30Speaker 1: He was swollen. He was Oh, so this guy's big.
- 2:34Speaker 1: He's big.
- 2:35Speaker 3: I'm not fat, right, but I'm definitely not muscular either.
- 2:38Speaker 3: I'm just average, Like I'm the average guy, you know.
- 2:41Speaker 1: So I was. I was scrolling one.
- 2:43Speaker 3: Day and I got I got targeted by one of
- 2:46Speaker 3: those like ridiculous Instagram ads for a compression shirt with.
- 2:50Speaker 2: These like built in muscles and no, no, sir, sir,
- 3:00Speaker 2: this ship.
- 3:00Speaker 1: Hold on, don't judge me yet. Hold on.
- 3:03Speaker 3: So you got the you know it's got the fake biceps,
- 3:06Speaker 3: the fake chest, the fake showed the whole nine yards right,
- 3:09Speaker 3: And for some reason, I did it.
- 3:11Speaker 1: I bought it. I knew it. TikTok, I see them.
- 3:17Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just gonna say that I've seen them
- 3:19Speaker 2: on TikTok shop. They're basically like, okay, let me explain
- 3:22Speaker 2: it to candas if she's never seen it's basically spanks
- 3:25Speaker 2: with built in muscles. It enhances I've never worn one, So, sir,
- 3:30Speaker 2: did you wear this?
- 3:31Speaker 1: Yes? The worst part is that it actually worked. It worked.
- 3:36Speaker 1: It looked good.
- 3:37Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, it looks like ridiculously convincing under a fitted
- 3:41Speaker 3: T shirt.
- 3:42Speaker 1: I wore it on our first.
- 3:43Speaker 3: Date, and then second, and then the third.
- 3:49Speaker 1: That's a lot.
- 3:51Speaker 3: So on our last date, you know, things started getting
- 3:53Speaker 3: a little, uh more physical. He started rubbing me, like
- 3:57Speaker 3: she started rubbing me on my chest, and I completely
- 3:59Speaker 3: panic because really, she kept going.
- 4:03Speaker 1: She kept going.
- 4:04Speaker 3: She was about like maybe two seconds away from discovery,
- 4:07Speaker 3: like my muscles were basically a padded bra right. I
- 4:13Speaker 3: stopped it, like I stopped everything, and I came up
- 4:15Speaker 3: with some lame excuse because like I couldn't let her
- 4:18Speaker 3: find out like that, like not at all. So now
- 4:21Speaker 3: I'm sitting here and I'm wondering, how in the world
- 4:23Speaker 3: am I supposed to explain this. The good news is she's,
- 4:27Speaker 3: you know, she's obviously into me, like that's the good news.
- 4:29Speaker 3: But the bad news is like, I'm about to go
- 4:31Speaker 3: from looking like I hit the gym six days a
- 4:34Speaker 3: week to looking like the guy that I actually am.
- 4:38Speaker 1: I mean, there's got to be candis what's the way
- 4:40Speaker 1: out of this? As a woman? Do you laugh at this? Did?
- 4:42Speaker 1: Does he embrace this and go? Listen? I was wearing
- 4:44Speaker 1: a muscle shirt.
- 4:46Speaker 3: I don't know.
- 4:46Speaker 1: I think you just get rid of that thing, don't
- 4:48Speaker 1: ever wear it again, but start hitting the gym. If
- 4:50Speaker 1: you want to feel better about yourself.
- 4:52Speaker 2: Right, maybe what you do is wear like a couple
- 4:54Speaker 2: of shirts under a hoodie. What what listen, I'm just
- 4:58Speaker 2: trying to think of things.
- 5:00Speaker 1: You gotta cut this out. I mean, you can't keep
- 5:02Speaker 1: this up, obviously.
- 5:03Speaker 2: No, but you also can't go from muscles to a
- 5:05Speaker 2: T shirt and realize like what happened?
- 5:07Speaker 1: But I know, honestly is always the best policy.
- 5:10Speaker 2: You don't want to go into a new relationship with
- 5:11Speaker 2: any like weirdness or secrets or I think it might work.
- 5:14Speaker 2: I think honestly, you're a funny guy. You have a
- 5:16Speaker 2: good personality. I think it would be hysterical if you're
- 5:19Speaker 2: like I got to tell you some funny, I was
- 5:20Speaker 2: creeping on your Instagram.
- 5:21Speaker 1: I saw your ass. Oh no, he's a so soldier.
- 5:23Speaker 1: I honestly would like turn me off. No he can
- 5:27Speaker 1: he say, hey, look, don't throw on the instagram part.
- 5:30Speaker 1: What are you gonna do?
- 5:30Speaker 4: Make up and say his work is sending him somewhere
- 5:33Speaker 4: for like three weeks, no, and then just keeping phone
- 5:37Speaker 4: hold on hear me out, just keeping phone contact with her,
- 5:40Speaker 4: and then three weeks come back as your regular self
- 5:42Speaker 4: and she's gonna be like, oh, you look like you're.
- 5:45Speaker 1: Losing where's the rest of you? Yeah, where's the rest
- 5:47Speaker 1: of your girl? Work?
- 5:48Speaker 4: Having me stressed? I know, I couldn't get into what's idea? Okay, wow,
- 5:52Speaker 4: I don't mind your idea?
- 5:54Speaker 1: Was I got a better idea? Thank you? I got
- 5:57Speaker 1: a better idea?
- 5:58Speaker 2: What you off the parasite and you disappear for like
- 6:07Speaker 2: four or five days and you're like, man.
- 6:09Speaker 1: Girl like at the parasite, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm
- 6:12Speaker 1: withering down to nothing. And then you show him and
- 6:15Speaker 1: she's like, oh baby, she's gonna be like, what happened girl?
- 6:18Speaker 1: That parasite?
- 6:19Speaker 2: Just I had some taco bell lettuce and I don't
- 6:22Speaker 2: know what happened.
- 6:24Speaker 1: There goes half my muscle. Yeah, what's wrong with that?
- 6:29Speaker 2: You know?
- 6:29Speaker 1: I like that mine? There you go. Yeah, the parasite.
- 6:32Speaker 1: She can't what she gonna do.
- 6:34Speaker 2: She can't argue with that. And she's like, oh, my
- 6:36Speaker 2: poor baby. He's fighting through the parasite. He's fighting through
- 6:40Speaker 2: the cyclops whatever it's called psycho sploor. He barely survived.
- 6:44Speaker 2: And he's still texting me and oh, you're gonna make
- 6:47Speaker 2: your baby, and they gonna be like, I know, I
- 6:48Speaker 2: got to hit the gym though, I'll survive, baby.
- 6:51Speaker 4: Yeah, I just feel so bad. I can't work out.
- 6:53Speaker 4: I always want to work out. Yeah, I can't because
- 6:55Speaker 4: I'm too weak.
- 6:56Speaker 1: Yeah, and I don't want to get in the gym
- 6:59Speaker 1: and have an accident, you know what I mean? That? Okay, Well,
- 7:03Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna do both.
- 7:04Speaker 3: I'm gonna go on this trip for my job and
- 7:07Speaker 3: I'm gonna catch the parasite for the last week. So
- 7:09Speaker 3: that's gonna sen me out by a good month.
- 7:11Speaker 1: Like I'm good to go when I Yeah, she'll be
- 7:13Speaker 1: married by the time you figure this out.