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A Mother's Day Mindset Gift: Mastering Stress with Dr. Stephen Sideroff! · Wicked Radio with Bill Adams

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  Speaker 1: Stress. If I was to ask you right now, if
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  Speaker 1: you're honest with yourself, what your stress level is, A bitch,
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  Speaker 1: it's pretty high, and you're not alone. Everybody is going
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  Speaker 1: through it, you me, everyone and everybody talks about it
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  Speaker 1: as well, but we don't know what to do about it.
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  Speaker 1: And now that we're rolling right into Mother's Day weekend
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  Speaker 1: around that time of the year, I thought it's a
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  Speaker 1: perfect time to talk about this, what to do about
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  Speaker 1: all this stress? Because I gotta be honest with you.
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  Speaker 1: I think the most stressed out, burned out people I
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  Speaker 1: know are moms I see in my personal life with
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  Speaker 1: the lady I'm married to the mom and my two kids,
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  Speaker 1: and I think that's because they try to be all
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  Speaker 1: things to all people. But just hear me out, what
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  Speaker 1: if there is a way, What if there was a
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  Speaker 1: way to turn all this stress into a power? What
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  Speaker 1: if you're able to harness this and master it and
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  Speaker 1: use it creatively? Right, use it to get your passion back?
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  Speaker 1: Remember that. Well, the guy that's tapped into into this
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  Speaker 1: and who I think, in my opinion, has figured it
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  Speaker 1: all out, is doctor Steven Siteroff. He's a claim psychologist.
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  Speaker 1: He's at UCLA, he's a speaker, and he's the author
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  Speaker 1: of what we're gonna get to here, the nine Pillars
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  Speaker 1: of Resilience, the proven path to mastering stress, slow aging,
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  Speaker 1: and increase vitality. With all that said, doctor Sitarov, thanks
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  Speaker 1: for being here, I appreciate your time so much.
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  Speaker 2: Well, it's a pleasure to be here. Bill, thank you
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  Speaker 2: for inviting me.
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  Speaker 1: We got to start with the obvious, which is beyond obvious.
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  Speaker 1: Everybody talks about it. Everybody talks about stress. I'm so stressed,
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  Speaker 1: I'm so burned out. It's such a common theme and
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  Speaker 1: nobody needs to explain that to you. But nobody ever
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  Speaker 1: talks about what to do with all of this. You know,
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  Speaker 1: we build it up inside until we die someday. That
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  Speaker 1: can't be the way. And I know that's why you're
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  Speaker 1: on this life mission.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, And you know it's interesting that stress has gotten
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  Speaker 2: a bad name, and for good reason, because it does
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  Speaker 2: speed up aging, it does create and contribute to all
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  Speaker 2: kinds of diseases burnout. Sure problem is that stress can
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  Speaker 2: also be good. In fact, if you think about all
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  Speaker 2: the successes in your life, I guarantee all of them
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  Speaker 2: have been associated with stress. Any of the good things
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  Speaker 2: that have happened in your life come about because you're motivated,
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  Speaker 2: you're driven to achieve success, achieve your goals, and all
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  Speaker 2: of that is accompanied by stress. So the problem is
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  Speaker 2: that in our brains we've unconsciously put these two things together,
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  Speaker 2: stress success, so we actually are biased toward finding stress
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  Speaker 2: in our lives. Now, that's the key, is that we
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  Speaker 2: can't just say stress is bad, but we all have
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  Speaker 2: to find our stress sweet spot. Okay, So there's a
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  Speaker 2: certain amount of stress that's good, but then when you
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  Speaker 2: push it beyond that level, that's when we get into trouble.
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  Speaker 2: And so we want to make sure people realize that
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  Speaker 2: stress is okay as long as you maintain it in
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  Speaker 2: that sweet spot. But most of us go well beyond that.
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  Speaker 2: And that's because there's so much going on in our
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  Speaker 2: day in our lives, and we have to learn a
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  Speaker 2: better mindset to how to approach the stresses in our
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  Speaker 2: day in our lives so they don't overwhelm us.
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  Speaker 1: You're exactly right about that too, because we all know
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  Speaker 1: them right and I think I don't know in the
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  Speaker 1: field if you still call them the type A personalities,
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  Speaker 1: the top salespeople, whatever it is. When you break it
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  Speaker 1: down and you actually talk to them, Hey, what makes
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  Speaker 1: you tick? You know, what's your Why do you have
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  Speaker 1: peak performance? They say, because I was scared, because I
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  Speaker 1: was stressed. I had a rent payment to make, I
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  Speaker 1: had a car, I have two kids. That's stress. At
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  Speaker 1: some level. Maybe they didn't handle it too well, but
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  Speaker 1: at some level of personality like that is able in
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  Speaker 1: a basic kind of way, not as advanced as what
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  Speaker 1: you're talking about. Turn that into performance. It's really are
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  Speaker 1: they in the sweet spot that you're talking about?
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  Speaker 2: No, very few of them are in the sweet spot.
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  Speaker 2: Most of them ignore the signs that they're having too
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  Speaker 2: much stress. They ignore that it takes them longer to
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  Speaker 2: fall asleep, they ignore that they get the headaches or
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  Speaker 2: more easily distracted. Because in fact, the more stress we have,
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  Speaker 2: the less effective our brains operate. But we get fooled.
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  Speaker 2: We get fooled because of that connection that I mentioned earlier.
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  Speaker 2: And so the first step really is having the mindset
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  Speaker 2: of looking for your stress sweet spot. The first step
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  Speaker 2: is recognizing that we have to put the two branches
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  Speaker 2: of our nervous system into a better place of balance,
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  Speaker 2: the stress activating branch and the recover branch. When you
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  Speaker 2: put those into a better place of balance, not only
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  Speaker 2: is your health better, but you also perform.
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  Speaker 1: Better, you know it. I think recently here and you
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  Speaker 1: hear a lot of pro athletes talk about this because
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  Speaker 1: they have a certain level of stress that just seems
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  Speaker 1: to be condensed during you know, the sixty minutes or
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  Speaker 1: the forty eight minutes of a basketball game. But they
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  Speaker 1: also recently here really talk about Tom Brady's big on
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  Speaker 1: this talks about the importance of that recovery, and you
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  Speaker 1: just kind of said that buzzword right there. I think this.
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  Speaker 1: I think we're finally maybe correct me if I'm wrong,
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  Speaker 1: getting over that stigma of just taking a little bit
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  Speaker 1: of time to recover, to to you know, to rest
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  Speaker 1: up your body and your brain. As stress, well, we
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  Speaker 1: used to call that lazy. I mean that was that
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  Speaker 1: was really damaging.
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  Speaker 2: Right right, So everybody has apt and optimal rhythm. And
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  Speaker 2: when I talk about a rhythm, I mean you thrust
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  Speaker 2: out into the world stressful experiences, goal directed behavior, but
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  Speaker 2: then you have to come back inside and recover all
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  Speaker 2: the resources used up during that stress so that you
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  Speaker 2: can then thrust out again. So there's everybody needs to
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  Speaker 2: find their personal rhythm, and there's a twenty four hour rhythm,
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  Speaker 2: but there's also an hourly rhythm. There's also a moment
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  Speaker 2: by moment rhythm. When I work with peak performing athletes,
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  Speaker 2: Olympic athletes, I teach them the value of simply six
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  Speaker 2: breaths done properly, where you take longer on the exhale
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  Speaker 2: and on the exhale you let go, And I teach
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  Speaker 2: them how to use them within their actual performance, to
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  Speaker 2: find the moments in their actual performance where they can
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  Speaker 2: pause and take those breaths, because then they come back
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  Speaker 2: out stronger and more effective.
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  Speaker 1: So, in other words, while you're not waiting until the
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  Speaker 1: end of the mission, not waiting until the end of
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  Speaker 1: the workday, the meeting, right then and there, that's something
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  Speaker 1: you can apply right right.
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  Speaker 2: And it's all about finding a healthy pattern. We all
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  Speaker 2: live through unhealthy patterns where we just push and push
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  Speaker 2: and push. You want to find a healthy pattern for yourself.
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  Speaker 2: I've found that when you do that, performance goes up
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  Speaker 2: as well as health going up. So we don't have
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  Speaker 2: to make a choice between being productive or having good health,
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  Speaker 2: which a lot of people think is a choice that
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  Speaker 2: they need to make. Right they go together in optimal
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  Speaker 2: performance and optimal functioning.
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  Speaker 1: If you run into clients, students, just people in your
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  Speaker 1: personal life who will kind of push back on you
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  Speaker 1: a little bit and what you've developed here, and they'll
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  Speaker 1: just say, yeah, but I need it. I need that stress.
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  Speaker 1: I need it, you know, I thrive on it. Well,
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  Speaker 1: we know how that ends for most people. But what
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  Speaker 1: do you say when they come back with that, Because
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  Speaker 1: I mean, bottom line is a lot of people have
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  Speaker 1: had success with that kind of stress. What do you
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  Speaker 1: say to.
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  Speaker 2: Them, Well, there's a gray area here because there may
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  Speaker 2: be some times where you can push yourself and then
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  Speaker 2: you then use that as a example of how you
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  Speaker 2: could do it all the time. Yeah, it doesn't work
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  Speaker 2: like that. So sometimes you could push harder, but it
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  Speaker 2: still takes a toll. And so if you continue to
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  Speaker 2: push harder, it's going to take a bigger toll. And
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  Speaker 2: what I say to people who tell me exactly that,
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  Speaker 2: I say, you've done as well as you've done despite
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  Speaker 2: your pattern. If you found this balance that I'm talking about,
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  Speaker 2: you can do even better. And I find that to
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  Speaker 2: be true. I work with executives, I work with elite athletes,
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  Speaker 2: and they've all learned this lesson that when you find
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  Speaker 2: that place of balance, you have a better grounding from
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  Speaker 2: which to thrust out into the world.
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  Speaker 1: What is it that breaks through when you say that
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  Speaker 1: to him? What is it that finally clicks with them?
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  Speaker 1: It's got it's got to be something related to, oh,
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  Speaker 1: I could do even better.
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  Speaker 2: Well, you know, it's interesting with some people, it's what
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  Speaker 2: you just said. They if you if they hear oh
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  Speaker 2: I could do even better, They're going to go for it.
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  Speaker 2: They're going to try it. But then there are other
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  Speaker 2: people who find it more difficult to break the old
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  Speaker 2: pattern and the only time that they begin to listen
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  Speaker 2: is when the signals of their bodies breakdown gets so
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  Speaker 2: loud they can't ignore it.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's and that's that's the part of it
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  Speaker 1: that everybody will talk about without you know, having found
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  Speaker 1: your information, without having find an answer. We all know
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  Speaker 1: about the symptoms. I mean, they're been around for years,
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  Speaker 1: you know, headaches, as you mentioned there, just the heart
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  Speaker 1: problems they call, you know, heart disease, the silent killer.
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  Speaker 1: But what gets to that silent killer. It's exactly what
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  Speaker 1: you're talking about here. Nobody ever gets to the root
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  Speaker 1: cause of what's actually here. And do you run into
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  Speaker 1: a lot of people who don't think there. Before they
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  Speaker 1: found you, they didn't think there was any answer to it.
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  Speaker 1: They just said, well, it's like this is my life.
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  Speaker 1: And as I get older and I'm busier and a
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  Speaker 1: more successful, this is just the way it is. That's
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  Speaker 1: got to be a challenge for you to get over
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  Speaker 1: people who have that mindset.
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  Speaker 2: Well, absolutely, because a lot of people feel like stress
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  Speaker 2: is just part of the territory we're used to be successful,
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  Speaker 2: I have to do it this way, yep. And it's
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  Speaker 2: only when they engage in a process. And this is
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  Speaker 2: the whole basis of my book The Nine Pillars, because
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  Speaker 2: it takes people step by step through getting better at
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  Speaker 2: each of these nine pillars. And what most people say
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  Speaker 2: to me is I've gotten my life back. Most people
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  Speaker 2: say to me is not only do they feel better,
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  Speaker 2: but they're performing better because a lot of times we
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  Speaker 2: don't realize that when we exhaust ourselves, when we're tired,
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  Speaker 2: that our brains literally don't focus as well. They don't
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  Speaker 2: it's more difficult to concentrate, it's more difficult to problem solve.
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  Speaker 2: But it's sometimes it's difficult to realize that until you
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  Speaker 2: try it doing it a different way.
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  Speaker 1: You know. It's amazing you say that too, because I
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  Speaker 1: just recently had my life changes just instead of you know,
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  Speaker 1: doing commercial corporate radio, getting up in the three thirty
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  Speaker 1: in the morning every day for literally I did it
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  Speaker 1: for thirty years and thought I was fine and walked
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  Speaker 1: away from that started something new. Other businesses still thinking
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  Speaker 1: it was the same thing. Recently, what's come to me
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  Speaker 1: is the realization of how bad that was. But you
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  Speaker 1: you know, we do adjust, We're tough, we're resilient people
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  Speaker 1: in general. But maybe the danger isn't getting used to that,
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  Speaker 1: you know, and accepting that somehow and not doing it.
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  Speaker 1: Because I will tell you it's just now it's like
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  Speaker 1: I'm remembering things now, and I'm like, I'm like six
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  Speaker 1: months away from that world. I'm remembering things I have
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  Speaker 1: a remembered in years. Obviously, I'm sleeping better, that'll happen
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  Speaker 1: when you'll get up at three o'clock, you know, three
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  Speaker 1: thirty in the morning, but just better at everything. And
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  Speaker 1: I don't I think if I hadn't made that change,
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  Speaker 1: I wouldn't be.
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  Speaker 2: Realizing this right And your comment about how we adapt
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  Speaker 2: is spot on, so right now, everybody in the audience.
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  Speaker 2: Check in with your jaw, check in with your shoulders,
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  Speaker 2: and notice your breath. You might have a shallow breath,
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  Speaker 2: or you may even be holding your breath. You may
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  Speaker 2: have elevated tension in your shoulders. And this is because
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  Speaker 2: exactly what you said, we adapt to higher and higher
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  Speaker 2: levels of tension. It becomes our norm. Even though where
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  Speaker 2: our shoulders are tense, our jaws are tense, our stomach
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  Speaker 2: is tight. And so we have to give some time,
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  Speaker 2: some pause to check in and to recalibrate, recalibrate into
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  Speaker 2: this place of balance that I'm talking about, instead of
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  Speaker 2: the activated level that we continually live in. Now, some
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  Speaker 2: people begin to notice it because they have difficulty falling asleep.
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  Speaker 2: This probably is the biggest problem in our society right now,
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  Speaker 2: difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep. And the reason is that
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  Speaker 2: if you think about your day, we're continually activating to
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  Speaker 2: stresses because this stimuli all throughout our day that signal danger, uncertainty,
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  Speaker 2: and it may not even be something that's going on
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  Speaker 2: right now, but it may occur to us, how am
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  Speaker 2: I going to pay this bill tomorrow? And that triggers
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  Speaker 2: a stress response. But bill. How many stimuli in your
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  Speaker 2: day tell you you're safe, you can let down your guard.
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  Speaker 1: Oh boy, I mean more now, But generally there's hardly
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  Speaker 1: any A handful. A handful would be a great day.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. So we keep ramping up our tension without
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  Speaker 2: any recovery, and this throws off our nervous system to
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  Speaker 2: what I call autonomic dysregulation syndrome, which is at the
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  Speaker 2: heart of bodies inflammation and at the heart of the
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  Speaker 2: speeding up of the aging process and disease formation. So
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  Speaker 2: we need to have a mindset that we want to
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  Speaker 2: find the stress sweet spot. And the other thing that
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  Speaker 2: I say is I've redefined resilience. I don't resilience we
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  Speaker 2: talk about is the ability to bounce back, But you
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  Speaker 2: don't want to bounce back to where you were to
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  Speaker 2: where where, and continue to do things in the old
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  Speaker 2: way that you've done in the pasture. So resilience, my
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  Speaker 2: new definition, is the ability to bounce forward where every
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  Speaker 2: time you're challenged, every time you engage in some stressful behavior,
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  Speaker 2: you look for the lesson to learn. You look for
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  Speaker 2: what you could do differently better, that works better. And
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  Speaker 2: so the next time you engage in a stressful behavior.
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  Speaker 2: You're coming from this new, more effective approach.
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  Speaker 1: And it's like, you know, we always talk about muscle memory, right,
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  Speaker 1: it's probably the same thing. So the more you practice,
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  Speaker 1: Let's say it just got out of a talk with
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  Speaker 1: you and you're in a stressful as hell business meeting,
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  Speaker 1: but you're using that breathing technique and the one time
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  Speaker 1: it clicks through and you say, hey, that kind of worked.
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  Speaker 1: I'm okay, you know what, I think, I'm sharper. You
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  Speaker 1: do it again and again. You have that confidence, don't
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  Speaker 1: you that you can get through any stressful situation like
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  Speaker 1: that once you realize it worked at least once.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, it's very true. But to really break away to
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  Speaker 2: a new level of resilience, everybody needs to start paying
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  Speaker 2: attention to their old patterns, the lessons learned in childhood
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  Speaker 2: that guide our behavior as adults, because those paths based
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  Speaker 2: on lessons that may not be the best lessons. They're
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  Speaker 2: based on messages that you got from parents who may
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  Speaker 2: not have known any better, but gave you messages that
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  Speaker 2: you're not okay, you're not good enough, you're not as
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  Speaker 2: good as Joe next door. All these kinds of message
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  Speaker 2: is that guide our behavior as adults.
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  Speaker 1: And so that's exactly you know what. I'm sorry, but
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  Speaker 1: you just hit on something that is so key, I think,
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  Speaker 1: because doesn't a lot of this come from keeping up
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  Speaker 1: with the Joneses kind of guilt? Or how about this?
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  Speaker 1: You saw your dad work himself to death. I must
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  Speaker 1: I must be lazy if I'm not taking the same approach.
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  Speaker 1: Isn't that? Isn't that? You know another way of saying that.
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely, you're exactly right. And so my first pillar of
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  Speaker 2: resilience is your relationship with yourself. And it starts there.
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  Speaker 2: And so people in the audience can start looking to
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  Speaker 2: see how and notice how they treat themselves. Are they
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  Speaker 2: critical or accepting? Are they judgmental? Are you hard on
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  Speaker 2: yourself when you make a mistake? That's the old pattern. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: the healthy pattern is when you develop inside a voice,
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  Speaker 2: your own voice, your own internal parent that comes from
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  Speaker 2: a place of love, acceptance, commitment, support, caring, and joy.
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  Speaker 2: Those are the qualities, those are the hallmarks of a
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  Speaker 2: healthy internal voice. So every time that you start to
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  Speaker 2: be hard on yourself, critical, judgmental, you want to stop
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  Speaker 2: and say to yourself, this doesn't serve me. And then
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  Speaker 2: you shift into coming from a place of as I
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  Speaker 2: just described those qualities, that's the primary shift that results
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  Speaker 2: in great resilience.
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  Speaker 1: I love that you said the internal voice too, because
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  Speaker 1: I can't remember what it was. Sometime late last year
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  Speaker 1: somebody did a study and I couldn't quote you, but
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  Speaker 1: they asked a bunch of gen zers, young kids, even
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  Speaker 1: like college agent, younger, you know what's your internal voice? Like?
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  Speaker 1: Is it third person? Is it first person? Diet? I
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  Speaker 1: guess the researchers were horrified to find out that they
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  Speaker 1: had no idea what an internal voice was, and they
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  Speaker 1: were just like, well, what do you mean you got no?
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  Speaker 1: I just that scared me too, because that means you're
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  Speaker 1: just reacting to external factors constantly. I think, is that
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  Speaker 1: what that means? I think it's scary as hell if
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  Speaker 1: people don't have that internal voice.
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  Speaker 2: Right, So what that means is rather than your reference
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  Speaker 2: point being here, yeah, most people's reference point is out there.
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  Speaker 2: And that's why I was swayed so so amazingly by
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  Speaker 2: messages that we hear from influencers and politicians who don't
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  Speaker 2: necessarily have your best interests at art.
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  Speaker 1: Well, absolutely, that's right, and you know, people affected by
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  Speaker 1: that or you know the people I talked about in
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  Speaker 1: our intro here and our reason for talking about stress
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  Speaker 1: in the first place. I wanted to talk about moms
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  Speaker 1: specifically because I think if I was to think of
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: a certain type of person or a demographic or however
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: you want to go, that I think is the most
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: stressed out. I really just from my eyes, I see
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: it as moms, because I just see of it every day,
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: I think, and correct me if I'm wrong. I think
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: it's because they're trying to be all things to all
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: people and taking a more responsibility, but trying to live
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: up to some kind of a standard. Is that the
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: reason why we see that so much.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: Among moms, absolutely and for everybody. One of the biggest
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: sources of stress is just all the things that need
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: to be done. How long the to do list is,
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: and it's endless. And mothers have this in spades because,
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: particularly if they're working, they have that whole arena, and
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: then they have the whole family children, and so they
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: start the day looking at all that needs to be done,
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: and before they even start off, the stressed and so
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: one of the keys, and this is for everybody, particularly
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: for moms, is that you want to make a schedule
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: for yourself as realistically as possible, and try and stick
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: to that schedule as much as you can, so that
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: when it's nine o'clock, instead of looking at all the
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: things that need to be done and thinking, oh, I
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: have this to do and this to do, all you're
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: thinking about is what you need to do between nine
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: and ten, and then at ten o'clock only thinking about
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: what you need to do between ten and eleven. And
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: this is difficult for most people because they'll start to
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: do what they're doing at nine o'clock and already they're
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: thinking of what needs to happen at three and four
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: and five. But that doesn't make you any more productive,
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: It doesn't help you get things done any faster or
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: any better. All it does is stress you out. And
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: so that's one of the ways to become more resilient
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: and deal with stress is to block out everything else
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: and just focus on what you're doing right here and now,
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: being present, staying in the moment and enjoying what you're doing,
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: rather than feeling stressed because there's so many other things
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: not getting done right now. You can't do all things
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: at once. You can only do one thing at a
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: time and if you if you decide that that's true,
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: it can reduce a lot of your stress because time
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: pressure is one of the biggest sources of stress.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: And I'd love that you said that too. It's about,
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: you know, enjoying now. We only have a limited number
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: of days. I know that's kind of a dark way
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: to say that, but it's it's absolutely true if you
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: don't live in the moment somehow someway and find that
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: sweet spot you're talking about, what's it all for?
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Right? But the key is that the messages I'm giving
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: right now and what we're talking about, it's not like
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: going over to the wall and flipping a light switch.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: You don't just hear what I'm saying and get it.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: You have to keep practicing it. And every time the
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: other voice that says what about this? What about that?
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: Comes in, you go stop, No, this isn't helpful. I
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: have to focus on what I'm doing right here and now.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: Every time you stop and come back to the present,
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: you're literally rewiring your brain into a new, healthier pattern.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: At the same time, every time you give into the
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: old pattern and start looking at all these other things,
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: you're reinforcing the old neural network, and every moment in
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: our lives, we have this choice. Continue in the old pattern,
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: the old way, and keep reinforcing the old neural network,
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: or stop and do it the healthier way and engage
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: new neural patterns. You know, this conversation you and I
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: are having, if it's impactful to the people in your audience.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Literally this half hour conversation is sprouting new projections out
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: of our neurons.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I hope.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: So right now that's called neuroplasticity, and we are all
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: It's available to all of us, but we have to
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: have the right mindset. We have to stop ourselves in
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: the moment, realize we have choice, and go in the
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: right direction.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: As we kind of wrap up here, I was wondering
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: before I got a chance to actually talk to you
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: about who this would apply to, and very quickly the
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: answer came to me literally everybody. And what I mean
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: by that is my hope is we get to the
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: point where we can actually teach those young brains as
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: soon as we can these same skills. What if we're
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: playing a lot of what if today. I understand that,
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: but what if we were able to teach skills, teach
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: these kinds of skills and this kind of mindset to kids.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine how productive, how beneficial to other people,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: to society, to themselves, their families, whatever it is, if
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: they use these same principles, it's not beyond them to
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: understand it. In fact, they're probably better at it than
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: we are. But it's up to us to try to
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: instill this kind of stuff. I guess that starts with parents.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know if we're gonna be able to get
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: into schools, but the information's out there.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: Right, And so I teach parents how to raise resilient children.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: Good. Oh good, I didn't even though you did.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: That based on my nine Pillars of Resilience.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: M M.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: That is the first step. The next step is getting
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: it into schools. Teaching these lessons in schools.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, perhaps we can do it someday. It's just up
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: to us to get it done. And what I love
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: that you did several times today is talk about that
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: keyword that I just it's become my favorite word of
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: all time time is mindset. It's everything. It's literally everything
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: how you react and how you turn something that's happening
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: to you in the outside world around and actually turn
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: it into a positive, which is why I love your stuff.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: It's the doctor Stephen sitter Off the Nine Pillars of Resilience.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: You got to pick it up. It's the proven path
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: to mastering stress, slow aging, which is incredibly important these
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: days as well, and increase vitality. I know that you're
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: everywhere online, but probably the easiest place to find you
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: is doctor Stephnsiteroff dot com. Do I have that right?
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: You have that right? And for everybody listening, there is
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: a very easy first step, and that's to learn where
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: you stand. And if you go to my website or
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: I'll give you the direct link or a free gift
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: from my Resilience Assessment booklet, and in that is a
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: questionnaire people can take self score and derive their personal
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: resilience profile along my nine not dimension it's my nine pillars.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: And that's a great first step.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: It's a great first step, and it's maybe one of
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: the most important steps is you got to do that
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: self assessment, because otherwise we're caught in the treadmill, right. Yes, absolutely,
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: fantastic stuff. I appreciate your time so much. I wanted
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: to talk to you for quite some time. You surpassed
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: even my expectations doctor sitter Off, thank you so much
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: for that.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Wonderful Bill, It's a pleasure to be with you.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: And by the way, the book, where do you find that?
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I think the next word that's gonna come out of
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: your mouth is Amazon. But where else can we find
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: the Nine Pillars?
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: It's in bookstores everywhere as well as Amazon and Barnes
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: and Noble.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Wonderful stuff. If you don't mind, I'm gonna put you
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: in my stable of awesome guests because that means I'm
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: gonna be calling you again sometime if you have time.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Is it okay?
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Yes, sounds good.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Bill, all right, thank you so much again for your time.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Steven sitter Off, thank you again, and thanks for finding
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: out all this stuff is all about. And it's all
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: about mindset. That's my main takeaway on this great, great stuff.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: So glad we got a chance to talk to him.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Make sure that you follow and share along. If you
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: lasted this long in the interview, you've already improved your life.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Like doctor Sitterruff just said, follow the YouTube channel. You
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: can find Wicked Wisdom with me Bill Adams on all
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: of these channels everywhere, YouTube, Facebook, It's on x and
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: don't forget The daily live stream is called Wicked Radio
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: with Bill Adams. So use that it's about mindset, have,
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: especially you. Mom's Happy Mother's Day.