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Transcript

The Road I Never Meant to Take with Alanna J. Bell · The Trauma Therapist

0:00
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Trauma Therapist Podcast. My name is Guy McPherson.
0:04
Speaker 1: I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to helping
0:07
Speaker 1: those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank you
0:11
Speaker 1: to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting this show. Five, four, three, two,
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Speaker 1: and one. Our folks, welcome back to the podcast. Very
0:21
Speaker 1: excited to have as my guest today, Alana Bell. Alana, welcome.
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Speaker 2: Thank you. Awesome.
0:27
Speaker 1: Alana is a licensed professional counselor and the founder of
0:30
Speaker 1: of Aspen Heart Hypnotherapy and Integrative Counseling, where she specializes
0:34
Speaker 1: in trauma-informed therapy and heart-centered hypnotherapy. She holds master's degrees
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Speaker 1: in professional counseling and school counseling and has extensive experience
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Speaker 1: supporting adolescents, adults, and families dealing with trauma, anxiety, addiction,
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Speaker 1: and more. Lana integrates approaches such as EMDR, DBT, mindfulness,
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Speaker 1: cognitive behavioral therapy, motivational interviewing, to help clients move toward
0:59
Speaker 1: healing and emotional resilience. Her work focuses on creating a compassionate,
1:04
Speaker 1: empowering space where people can reconnect with themselves and build
1:08
Speaker 1: lasting change. All right, Alana, just a little bit about you,
1:12
Speaker 1: but before we get going, share with our listeners where
1:15
Speaker 1: you're from originally and where you are right now.
1:20
Speaker 2: All right. Well, originally I grew up in California, came
1:23
Speaker 2: from Bakersfield, moved to the coast, lived there. But actually
1:27
Speaker 2: we've been in Colorado now for about 32 years. So
1:31
Speaker 2: we consider ourselves natives here. Okay. My counseling practices have
1:36
Speaker 2: been done here in Colorado. Wow. And yeah, it's been
1:42
Speaker 2: quite a journey. I mean, I feel like I've lived
1:44
Speaker 2: long enough to have several lives in this lifetime. I
1:48
Speaker 2: started my career by being a full-time mom and raising
1:53
Speaker 2: my three amazing now adults who are contributing to society well.
1:59
Speaker 2: So first job, I think well done. But then I
2:02
Speaker 2: went into school counseling. And as you already said, the
2:06
Speaker 2: resume is long, but mostly it's just been a journey
2:09
Speaker 2: of exploring different branches of therapy, different ways of helping people.
2:15
Speaker 1: Hang on, you're getting ahead of me. I just want
2:20
Speaker 1: to set the tone here. I just want to ask
2:24
Speaker 1: the question, how did it start? You said it started
2:27
Speaker 1: as your mom, but what was the impetus? What was
2:33
Speaker 1: the inspiration for you?
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Speaker 2: I think... innate wanting to help people was one of them.
2:43
Speaker 2: When we were younger, we were very involved in the church,
2:47
Speaker 2: and I originally got into counseling because there was a Christian,
2:51
Speaker 2: a biblical counseling program, which was amazing, actually, because it
2:56
Speaker 2: was not your traditional Bible-thumping thing. It was, you know,
3:00
Speaker 2: really understand the Christ-centered approach of coming alongside, meeting people
3:05
Speaker 2: where they are. And I went on to be the
3:09
Speaker 2: licensed professional counselor, not just faith-based. But I think spirituality,
3:14
Speaker 2: whatever your spirituality background is, is an important part of healing.
3:21
Speaker 2: So I've always been drawn to children, just a natural
3:25
Speaker 2: ability there. My mom was also a master in child care.
3:31
Speaker 2: She actually was a state consultant for California in early
3:35
Speaker 2: childhood development. So children is a part of the story.
3:38
Speaker 2: So my first 13 years in counseling was as a
3:42
Speaker 2: school counselor in the elementary and middle schools, and I
3:45
Speaker 2: loved it.
3:46
Speaker 1: So hang on. So when you got into college, did
3:51
Speaker 1: you say, I wanted to be a counselor? Was that
3:52
Speaker 1: your track?
3:54
Speaker 2: Well, Well, so here's the trick is I only went
3:57
Speaker 2: to one year of college before I ended up married
4:00
Speaker 2: with children.
4:01
Speaker 1: Okay. So one year. Right.
4:04
Speaker 2: When I went back as a reentry woman, I had
4:08
Speaker 2: a whole lot more life under my belt.
4:10
Speaker 1: How long, how many years had expired?
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Speaker 2: Well, I tell people it took me 18 years to
4:17
Speaker 2: get my bachelor's.
4:19
Speaker 1: You know, exactly the gap I had.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, 18 years to get my bachelor's. It moved fast
4:27
Speaker 2: after that. It only took me two years to get
4:29
Speaker 2: my master's. But I learned things. I took classes along
4:36
Speaker 2: the way. And honestly, when I did a thesis for
4:41
Speaker 2: my bachelor's, which was in organizational management, not even therapy,
4:46
Speaker 2: I did it on adolescent suicide. And that... did it
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Speaker 2: for me. It's like, I, this is where I want
4:53
Speaker 2: to be. I need to help when young people lose
4:57
Speaker 2: hope for life. No.
4:59
Speaker 1: Okay. Pause, pause a second. So at that point you're
5:04
Speaker 1: doing a thesis. Um, it's in the field of, would
5:08
Speaker 1: you say organizational? Uh-huh.
5:11
Speaker 2: Human resources, organizational management.
5:13
Speaker 1: Why did you get it? Why was it that a
5:16
Speaker 1: choice for you?
5:18
Speaker 2: I heard a news report and it just hurt my heart.
5:22
Speaker 2: And then that triggered something in me on how do
5:26
Speaker 2: we help people? Okay.
5:30
Speaker 1: And at this time you're married, you've got kids, you
5:33
Speaker 1: start writing this thesis, which is a very obviously intense topic.
5:40
Speaker 1: What was it that moved you to that topic? You
5:43
Speaker 1: heard something you said?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I heard a news report and I found
5:47
Speaker 2: myself weeping for a kid I didn't even know. And
5:51
Speaker 2: it was like, there's a problem here. And, you know,
5:56
Speaker 2: we all have our stories. I had a struggling adolescence
5:59
Speaker 2: myself and, you know, so I could identify and it was,
6:04
Speaker 2: I felt it was a calling.
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Speaker 1: Well, to the degree that you feel like you can share,
6:10
Speaker 1: what was your childhood like?
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Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, it wasn't tragic or anything. I was
6:18
Speaker 2: the middle child, the lost child. My dad was an alcoholic,
6:22
Speaker 2: but not abusive, just very critical. You know, I just
6:30
Speaker 2: was an awkward kid. And so I had difficulty making
6:34
Speaker 2: friends in early years. And, you know, I felt it.
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Speaker 1: So you start. Doing research for this thesis, what did
6:46
Speaker 1: you start finding out? What did you start discovering? What
6:50
Speaker 1: was that process like for you?
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Speaker 2: I think I started seeing how we miss connecting with people.
6:58
Speaker 2: And adolescents are some of the hardest people to connect with, right?
7:03
Speaker 2: And yet, even the adults that we... there are so
7:07
Speaker 2: many adults that still operate from that wounded adolescent, right,
7:12
Speaker 2: or that wounded child. And so part of my work
7:16
Speaker 2: and now most of my work is put into my books.
7:20
Speaker 2: And so really trying to speak to, trying to see,
7:25
Speaker 2: trying to meet the people where they're struggling, where they're
7:31
Speaker 2: needing to be heard, needing to be sought after. And
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Speaker 2: I've always gone... for the underdogs and one might say
7:38
Speaker 2: anyone who's in therapy is an underdog, but I mean, I,
7:42
Speaker 2: when I worked in the elementary school, it was at
7:44
Speaker 2: a title one school. It was the, you know, transient population,
7:48
Speaker 2: the neighborhood that the police referred to as little Beirut.
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Speaker 2: You know, I worked in the, uh, residential treatment center
7:57
Speaker 2: for adolescent teenage girls who couldn't fit in society. So
8:02
Speaker 2: they had to live somewhere else. And so, uh, And
8:06
Speaker 2: then now my recent book is on addiction with helping professionals,
8:14
Speaker 2: you know, the unseen population there where, oh, we can't
8:18
Speaker 2: go get help. We can't say we need help because
8:21
Speaker 2: we're the ones holding it together. We're the ones everybody
8:24
Speaker 2: else sends people to. We're not supposed to have problems.
8:27
Speaker 2: So I guess I've always had an ability, and again,
8:31
Speaker 2: maybe my own woundedness as a kid and then doing
8:35
Speaker 2: my own therapy and work. I notice that there are
8:41
Speaker 2: segments of society that just aren't seen. They don't want
8:47
Speaker 2: to be seen. People don't want to know that exists.
8:51
Speaker 2: They don't want to deal with the troubled adolescent. They're annoying.
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Speaker 2: You know, they don't know how to talk to them.
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Speaker 2: And the adolescent doesn't say, hey, talk to me. I'm
9:00
Speaker 2: ready to listen. You know, they are in your face.
9:03
Speaker 2: Or then, you know, then you take the other end
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Speaker 2: of the spectrum, the professionals who act like everything is fine.
9:12
Speaker 2: We have to. We have to appear professional. We have
9:14
Speaker 2: to appear like we're holding everything together. And so we
9:19
Speaker 2: suffer in silence.
9:21
Speaker 1: We're going to get to the book just before we do.
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Speaker 1: Just state the name of the book for our listeners.
9:26
Speaker 2: The road I never meant to take.
9:29
Speaker 1: Okay. Real stories, real science, real recovery.
9:32
Speaker 2: Right.
9:32
Speaker 1: We're going to get to this. But I kind of
9:34
Speaker 1: want to frame this, Alana. So you're struck by this
9:42
Speaker 1: suicide of this kid you've never met. You come out
9:45
Speaker 1: of that. How does your career unfold in terms of
9:50
Speaker 1: your education, what you want to do, your focus?
9:53
Speaker 2: Um... Well, so it wasn't the easy road. Again, I
10:01
Speaker 2: didn't just go in after high school and be able
10:04
Speaker 2: to be a full-time college student. I was working full-time.
10:10
Speaker 2: It's kind of cute how I look back on it.
10:13
Speaker 2: I'd never have the energy now, but I mean, I
10:15
Speaker 2: was managing Starbucks in Barnes & Noble, which was like
10:19
Speaker 2: one of the best jobs ever. But working full time.
10:22
Speaker 2: Which one?
10:22
Speaker 1: Which one was the best?
10:24
Speaker 2: Working as managing Starbucks in a Barnes and Noble, in
10:28
Speaker 2: a bookstore.
10:29
Speaker 1: Oh, in a Barnes and Noble. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:40
Speaker 2: Until noon on Friday, then I would get in the car.
10:43
Speaker 2: My courses were five hours away in Colorado Springs. So
10:47
Speaker 2: I would do I would drive there. I would do
10:50
Speaker 2: my Friday evening class, my Saturday afternoon class, drive home
10:55
Speaker 2: first thing Sunday morning and go to work at noon.
10:58
Speaker 2: And my kids who are now teens were awesome. They
11:02
Speaker 2: would come hang out at the bookstore, do their homework
11:04
Speaker 2: in the cafe there. And, you know, I mean, it worked.
11:08
Speaker 2: I'm glad I didn't have to do that for more
11:10
Speaker 2: than two years. But that's how passionate I was about
11:14
Speaker 2: what I was learning and what I I wanted a
11:18
Speaker 2: job that was going to give back. I didn't want
11:20
Speaker 2: a job that was just a job. I come from teachers.
11:24
Speaker 2: You know, both my parents were teachers. I come from.
11:28
Speaker 2: I don't know if you want to say that cloth
11:30
Speaker 2: that is just compassionate. Again, I think the fact that
11:33
Speaker 2: I struggled as a kid, that I was not treated kindly,
11:38
Speaker 2: you know, had the bullying, had the depressed times. And
11:44
Speaker 2: so I think that causes us to be more empathetic.
11:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I think it definitely... are some of
11:58
Speaker 1: the ingredients in the soup and can affect us in
12:02
Speaker 1: different ways. So talk about how trauma became on your radar. Obviously,
12:14
Speaker 1: you touched upon the thesis on suicide, suicidality. How did
12:22
Speaker 1: that topic theme kind of blossom for you?
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Speaker 2: Interest yeah that's actually a really powerful question because I
12:32
Speaker 2: don't have like a clear answer all I know is
12:35
Speaker 2: I kept being drawn to it I think I wanted
12:39
Speaker 2: like as I was doing therapy I wanted to be
12:43
Speaker 2: able to bring a deeper healing and I always felt
12:46
Speaker 2: like people were just only able to talk about the
12:49
Speaker 2: surface and I could feel that something was deeper under
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Speaker 2: here So like I went to EMDR training way back
12:56
Speaker 2: before it was cool, right? Before the military said it's
13:01
Speaker 2: the number one research base, whatever. I just thought, oh,
13:05
Speaker 2: this is powerful. And when I started practicing with it,
13:09
Speaker 2: it was like, yeah, I can really get to the
13:11
Speaker 2: deeper root of things here because they're out of their
13:15
Speaker 2: ego mind. They're actually able to get to that deeper subconscious.
13:18
Speaker 1: Let me interject for one second. So you said when
13:21
Speaker 1: you started EMDR, doing therapy, you sensed there was something
13:25
Speaker 1: beneath that. How did you, how did you know that?
13:29
Speaker 1: Tell us.
13:31
Speaker 2: Well, I think, I mean, your first symptom is that
13:34
Speaker 2: they're not really getting better, right? They can, you can
13:39
Speaker 2: give them all the skill skills, but they're not, they're
13:43
Speaker 2: not healed. They're still in therapy 10 years later, you know,
13:48
Speaker 2: it's like, uh, so I, I, As I learned, and
13:54
Speaker 2: I'm just a forever learner, right? Always reading, always looking for,
14:00
Speaker 2: I don't know, new ahas. And so when I learned
14:07
Speaker 2: about the EMDR and studied more in the subconscious mind,
14:12
Speaker 2: that felt really powerful and true. And then practicing on
14:16
Speaker 2: my clients, it seemed to be really good. And then
14:19
Speaker 2: when hypnotherapy came as an option, and again, just an online,
14:24
Speaker 2: I read about it and, oh, I want to learn that.
14:27
Speaker 2: And then I learned how you can get deeper. It
14:31
Speaker 2: works similarly to EMDR in taking you to the subconscious mind,
14:36
Speaker 2: but it's a lot faster process because you're bypassing all
14:39
Speaker 2: of the other things. And what I really saw was
14:44
Speaker 2: transformational change with these other modalities. When you're working in
14:48
Speaker 2: the subconscious, when you can regress them back to the
14:52
Speaker 2: childhood wound and you can, in some ways, rewrite the story, right?
14:57
Speaker 2: They get to be the loving mother that they never had.
15:00
Speaker 2: They get to say to themselves what they needed to hear.
15:04
Speaker 2: And it kind of... actually, neuroscience will say, you know,
15:09
Speaker 2: suggest new neural pathways.
15:13
Speaker 1: All right. Let me just remind everyone I'm speaking with
15:15
Speaker 1: Alana J. Bell. We are talking about her book. It
15:22
Speaker 1: is called The Road I Never Meant to Take, Real Stories,
15:25
Speaker 1: Real Science, Real Recovery. When did you say to yourself,
15:31
Speaker 1: I'm going to write this book? I need to write
15:34
Speaker 1: this book.
15:37
Speaker 2: Um, after my own recovery, after everything got so bad
15:45
Speaker 2: that I couldn't be in denial anymore. And it was
15:48
Speaker 2: one of those, throw all the cards in the air,
15:51
Speaker 2: let them land what they may because I can't keep
15:54
Speaker 2: doing this.
15:55
Speaker 1: Okay, hang on. When did this happen? Uh, so..
16:02
Speaker 2: You know, perfect storm, 2020, COVID. My mom also had
16:06
Speaker 2: a fall, broke her hip, punctured her lungs, ended up
16:10
Speaker 2: coming and living with us. My drinking at this point was,
16:15
Speaker 2: it had already gotten to a point that it was bad,
16:19
Speaker 2: but it was manageable, right?
16:20
Speaker 1: So during all of this- Everything we were talking about,
16:24
Speaker 1: you were drinking at this time.
16:25
Speaker 2: Oh, no, no. Thank you for clarifying that. No, I
16:28
Speaker 2: was a late starting drinker. I didn't drink at all
16:32
Speaker 2: raising the kids. I didn't drink until the last decade,
16:39
Speaker 2: I would say, before I got home. And it was
16:41
Speaker 2: just a progression. It wasn't like I always drank bad.
16:44
Speaker 2: I think that it really got, it got, It grew
16:50
Speaker 2: from we had a grandson who died traumatically at age five.
16:55
Speaker 2: It was a debilitating disease. So we watched him die
16:58
Speaker 2: for five years. And then my daughter was diagnosed with
17:01
Speaker 2: cancer a few months after that. You know how those
17:03
Speaker 2: progression things happen. And so those are all excuses, but
17:07
Speaker 2: they were very real pressures. And so drinking just kind
17:11
Speaker 2: of grew because that's what happens for some of us
17:16
Speaker 2: with that biological makeup. And trauma and all the other ingredients, right?
17:21
Speaker 2: It's not one ingredient. But after COVID and all the
17:27
Speaker 2: extra stressors, all the full-time caregiving, full-time clients in crisis,
17:33
Speaker 2: my own crisis, after a couple years of that, that
17:42
Speaker 2: was when it was like, I can't do this anymore.
17:45
Speaker 2: And it's kind of like I either kill myself or
17:47
Speaker 2: I go to treatment.
17:50
Speaker 1: Whoa.
17:51
Speaker 2: Okay.
17:52
Speaker 1: How is your daughter?
17:54
Speaker 2: She's in remission. Thank you for asking.
17:55
Speaker 1: Okay. Wow. That's awesome to hear.
18:00
Speaker 2: Okay.
18:00
Speaker 1: That's a lot, Alana.
18:03
Speaker 2: Yeah.
18:04
Speaker 1: Were you married at the time?
18:06
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. No. And I'm still married.
18:08
Speaker 1: Okay. So a lot's going on. At what point did you...
18:19
Speaker 1: start to get help for your alcoholism?
18:24
Speaker 2: Well, so there's a lot of ways I tried, right?
18:27
Speaker 2: I tried, you know, did my own counts, went to therapy,
18:33
Speaker 2: went to those kinds of things. I tried going to
18:37
Speaker 2: AA a couple of times, but that's really tricky as
18:40
Speaker 2: a therapist because... I ran into my clients on a
18:44
Speaker 2: couple of occasions. It would be one thing to go
18:47
Speaker 2: to an AA meeting when you have seven years under
18:49
Speaker 2: your belt, but when you're getting your 24 hour chip,
18:52
Speaker 2: not really cool. And of course I wouldn't be able
18:55
Speaker 2: to share anything for ethics and all of that. So
18:59
Speaker 2: that didn't really work. Um, and even admitting that you
19:04
Speaker 2: have a problem puts you at risk of losing your
19:06
Speaker 2: licensure and all of that. So, It was very tricky.
19:11
Speaker 2: I did finally go into inpatient treatment for 30 days
19:17
Speaker 2: and that was fantastic, you know, because getting away from
19:22
Speaker 2: everything for 30 days and I was very fortunate to
19:27
Speaker 2: land in an incredible center that, you know, did a
19:32
Speaker 2: great job of working with mind, body, spirit, great staff
19:37
Speaker 2: of doctors nurses but also counselors and and so that
19:42
Speaker 2: it was cool to come out of that again being
19:47
Speaker 2: a forever learner i'm saying oh what was it about
19:50
Speaker 2: that program that worked because a lot of programs don't
19:53
Speaker 2: work and it was what is it about that program
19:56
Speaker 2: that worked um and then also again seeing the population
20:02
Speaker 2: that is often missed it's like okay i know i'm
20:05
Speaker 2: not the only professional who struggles I know that. But
20:11
Speaker 2: what I also learned is that people in the mental
20:13
Speaker 2: health field, if they have a substance use disorder and addiction,
20:18
Speaker 2: they are more likely to kill themselves than to get
20:21
Speaker 2: help because of the shame, because of the, I shouldn't
20:25
Speaker 2: say more likely, I don't know exact statistics. I do
20:28
Speaker 2: know that 7% of everyone in the field reports being burnt.
20:33
Speaker 1: Out, being, you know, seems really low.
20:36
Speaker 2: Right and under reporting is huge right but the same
20:40
Speaker 2: statistics one in six people have a substance use disorder
20:46
Speaker 2: across ethnicities professions and that includes helping professions probably helping
20:52
Speaker 2: professions front liners are higher but we're not going to
20:56
Speaker 2: report that because there's too much risk involved.
21:00
Speaker 1: Right all right so thank you for sharing that um
21:06
Speaker 1: When did you decide to write the book?
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Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting because it wasn't one of those like, oh,
21:14
Speaker 2: I'm going to write a book. It's like, oh, my God,
21:16
Speaker 2: I don't want to write a book. I don't want
21:18
Speaker 2: anybody to know this is my story. You know, it's
21:22
Speaker 2: like I'm proud of myself for going through the treatment,
21:25
Speaker 2: becoming sober. But let's just keep it quiet. But I
21:30
Speaker 2: really felt a calling again. You know, it's not like
21:34
Speaker 2: I hear a voice from heaven, but you know how
21:36
Speaker 2: you have that stirring. And it's like, I really want
21:41
Speaker 2: people to be aware. This is a huge problem. It
21:44
Speaker 2: really is a huge problem for people in the helping professions.
21:48
Speaker 2: They don't know how to get help. And people don't
21:50
Speaker 2: even know if you're not in it. You don't even
21:53
Speaker 2: know the problem exists because we present so well.
21:57
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. Like I said, I really
22:00
Speaker 1: appreciate you sharing your story. You come on here and
22:04
Speaker 1: all we do is talk about the book. That's very boring.
22:08
Speaker 1: You come on here and you sharing your story. People
22:13
Speaker 1: listening to this, Alana, are not only going to be inspired,
22:18
Speaker 1: but they're going to be compelled to seek out help themselves.
22:24
Speaker 1: That's what this is about. That's what this is about.
22:27
Speaker 1: So talk more about the book. What did you want
22:31
Speaker 1: to say in the book?
22:34
Speaker 2: You know, it's fun. The book developed well. I wanted
22:39
Speaker 2: to be able to encourage people. I wanted to give
22:44
Speaker 2: them the scientific background. It was so refreshing for me.
22:48
Speaker 2: When I went to rehab and learned that there's a
22:50
Speaker 2: biological component to this, that I didn't just have some
22:54
Speaker 2: sort of weak will or something. bad gene, you know,
22:57
Speaker 2: that made me an alcoholic. It's like, no, there's a
23:00
Speaker 2: biological sequence. And yeah, you know, and so I wanted
23:04
Speaker 2: the book to address the body, mind, the spirit, right?
23:10
Speaker 2: I have all of these skills from my years of therapy.
23:14
Speaker 2: I wanted to put those into everyday language for people reading,
23:19
Speaker 2: whether it's a therapist or whether it's a person off
23:21
Speaker 2: the street, I want them to learn some skills, but
23:24
Speaker 2: it's all written in letter form. So it's written like
23:27
Speaker 2: from one therapist who has an addiction, but is in
23:32
Speaker 2: recovery to another therapist who also has alcoholism, but hasn't
23:38
Speaker 2: yet got help. And, and through the letters, it's, sharing
23:43
Speaker 2: scientific information neurologically. Part of my treatment was I got
23:49
Speaker 2: neuro stimulation and neurofeedback because my daughter, one of my
23:54
Speaker 2: daughters is a doctor of mind and body medicine and
23:59
Speaker 2: had her own clinic at the time. And so knowing
24:02
Speaker 2: how that impacted my healing, get that information out there,
24:07
Speaker 2: you know, and then also help people connect with spirit.
24:11
Speaker 2: Now I'm not talking religion. I'm talking be out in
24:14
Speaker 2: nature and and notice the sunsets and take time with
24:19
Speaker 2: the animals. And, you know, because all of that goes
24:22
Speaker 2: together in healing written from one therapist, you know, written
24:27
Speaker 2: from one person to another person. My story is told
24:32
Speaker 2: in such a way that it's not just a biology.
24:34
Speaker 2: It's written kind of as a novel, even though it's
24:40
Speaker 2: all aspects of my own journey.
24:45
Speaker 1: Is the book for anyone going through recovery or is
24:48
Speaker 1: it geared more towards quote-unquote professionals or mental health professionals?
24:54
Speaker 2: So its target audience is anybody in the helping professions
24:59
Speaker 2: who doesn't really have– they don't know what to do, right?
25:04
Speaker 2: For years, I didn't know what to do. I knew– When.
25:08
Speaker 1: You say you didn't know what to do, does that
25:11
Speaker 1: mean you were almost like shackled because of your professional–
25:15
Speaker 1: obligation or profession. I can't, I can't tell anyone this.
25:21
Speaker 2: Well, exactly. And I would tell some of my close friends,
25:24
Speaker 2: but they would say who are also therapists and they'd say, Oh,
25:27
Speaker 2: you don't drink that much. You know, cause I, I
25:29
Speaker 2: never made a scene. I wasn't out driving. I wasn't
25:32
Speaker 2: in the bars. I was a closet drinker, you know?
25:35
Speaker 2: So I never looked bad to people and say, Oh,
25:38
Speaker 2: you don't have a problem. You know, even though I
25:41
Speaker 2: couldn't go a day without it, you know, Or I
25:45
Speaker 2: didn't want to. Anyway, yeah, I think that there's a
25:51
Speaker 2: big fear of I can't admit I have a problem
25:55
Speaker 2: because that means I'm a failure. As a therapist, I'm
25:59
Speaker 2: supposed to have all of the answers, the skills, the know-how.
26:03
Speaker 2: And certainly I'm supposed to have my stuff together, right?
26:06
Speaker 2: I'm not supposed to have those kind of problems.
26:10
Speaker 1: So what do you say in addition to that? What
26:12
Speaker 1: do you say to our listeners? who are identifying with
26:18
Speaker 1: this who are like yeah it might not even be
26:23
Speaker 1: alcoholism it could be an addiction to something else as
26:25
Speaker 1: well what would you say to them.
26:27
Speaker 2: Um first thing i would say is they're not alone
26:32
Speaker 2: you know you're not alone there is help um i
26:37
Speaker 2: did have to report to the boards that i got
26:40
Speaker 2: the help but I still have my license. I still
26:45
Speaker 2: am practicing. And if anything, I feel like the board
26:48
Speaker 2: got a wake-up call when I shared my experience. Because
26:52
Speaker 2: at one point I had even gone to the board saying,
26:56
Speaker 2: how can you help me? I've got a problem here.
26:59
Speaker 2: And all they could say is, we don't really have anything.
27:03
Speaker 2: It's just up to you to get help. And then
27:06
Speaker 2: report it. And then report it. Yeah.
27:10
Speaker 1: So that is something that has to be reported. What
27:15
Speaker 1: specifically do you have to report? That you have an
27:18
Speaker 1: addiction or that you're... What?
27:21
Speaker 2: You are supposed to report you have an addiction. And
27:25
Speaker 2: then you're supposed to report the treatment that you got.
27:31
Speaker 2: I didn't know that, to be quite honest. And I
27:34
Speaker 2: didn't report it until after I had gotten my treatment, which...
27:40
Speaker 2: was helpful because they took those by the time it
27:44
Speaker 2: all came out, I'd been sober two years. So I
27:47
Speaker 2: didn't have a delay in my license, but, um, no,
27:51
Speaker 2: it's not a kind process. I'll just be honest. It's
27:54
Speaker 2: not a kind process, but what I would want my
27:58
Speaker 2: listeners to hear is that there is help. There is support. Um,
28:04
Speaker 2: it isn't comfortable, but having sobriety is so worth it.
28:12
Speaker 2: And I didn't lose anything. I only gained, only gained
28:18
Speaker 2: in the long run. And it wasn't a long, long run.
28:21
Speaker 2: I mean, you feel the benefits of sobriety immediately. And
28:25
Speaker 2: then the rest of the walk is, I'm not going
28:28
Speaker 2: to say it's comfortable, but it's not less comfortable than
28:33
Speaker 2: drinking and hiding it and having that shame and feeling
28:37
Speaker 2: sick every day.
28:39
Speaker 1: Wow. All right, Alana. Share again with our listeners the
28:45
Speaker 1: name of the book and the best place for people
28:48
Speaker 1: to learn more about you and the book.
28:50
Speaker 2: All right. The book is The Road I Never Meant
28:53
Speaker 2: to Take. That's probably backwards, isn't it?
28:56
Speaker 1: No, it was perfect, actually. Oh, okay. All right.
28:58
Speaker 2: So yeah, The Road I Never Meant to Take. And
29:02
Speaker 2: it's available, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, all of that good stuff.
29:07
Speaker 2: And I have a website, alannabellwrites.com. And on there, I
29:12
Speaker 2: also have blogs that are helpful. I would love to
29:17
Speaker 2: hear from you. So if you would like to reach out,
29:20
Speaker 2: you can do so through that website as well. And
29:23
Speaker 2: it's my name, A-L-A-N-N-A, Bell, B-E-L-L, writes w-r-i-t-e-s dot com
29:31
Speaker 2: okay we'll have.
29:33
Speaker 1: All that linked up at the show notes page at
29:36
Speaker 1: the traumatherapistpodcast.com. Awesome. Appreciate you.
29:40
Speaker 2: Thank you. Thank you for your time. Thanks for having me.
29:43
Speaker 1: You're welcome.
29:44
Speaker 2: All right.
29:44
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Take care.
29:46
Speaker 2: Bye-bye.