Latest / F*ck, I’m Nearly 50! / Grief, Memories and the Little Things We Leave Behind | Colin Jowell | F*ck, I’m Nearly 50!

Transcript

Grief, Memories and the Little Things We Leave Behind | Colin Jowell | F*ck, I’m Nearly 50! · F*ck, I’m Nearly 50!

• 0:00
  Dom Hind: Hi, I'm Dom Hind, and f*ck, I'm nearly 50.
• 0:02
  Dom Hind: And lately I've been thinking a lot about success.
• 0:06
  Dom Hind: Not the versions we were sold in our 20s, the titles, the late nights, the awards, but the kind that actually feels good.
• 0:13
  Dom Hind: The kind that makes you feel proud, not just productive.
• 0:17
  Dom Hind: Because somewhere along the way, success started to look a lot like exhaustion disguised as achievement.
• 0:23
  Dom Hind: And I don't know about you, but I'm craving something different.
• 0:27
  Dom Hind: More meaning, less noise, more freedom, less proving.
• 0:31
  Dom Hind: And that brings me to today's guest, someone I've known since those wild agency days when work was life.
• 0:39
  Dom Hind: Colin Joel and I worked together back in the good old days at Wonderman and Wynar, where we were pitching nonstop weekend after weekend.
• 0:48
  Dom Hind: We were young, caffeinated, although mine was Red Bull, constantly chasing the next win, and let's be honest, completely forgetting what an actual life was.
• 0:58
  Dom Hind: We were in a pitch-winning streak so strong, it was so addictive, but also completely unsustainable.
• 1:05
  Dom Hind: Fast forward a few decades, and Colin's journey has evolved in the most brilliant way.
• 1:10
  Dom Hind: He's gone from building brands to building meaning, from helping companies tell stories to helping people capture their own through Bill Will, a platform that helps us leave behind something that actually matters: our stories, our values, our lesson, and our love.
• 1:26
  Dom Hind: Colin's one of those rare humans who can make you laugh, think deeply, and question your entire definition of success all in the same breath.
• 1:34
  Dom Hind: This conversation is about redefining what it means to make it, the beauty of midlife reinvention and how we can live and lead with more purpose, honesty, and joy.
• 1:46
  Dom Hind: Because fuck, I'm nearly 50, and maybe the goal now isn't to do more, it's to do what matters.
• 1:54
  Dom Hind: Colin Joel is a strategist, speaker, coach, and the founder of Bill Will, a platform that helps people capture and share what truly matters, their stories, beliefs, and life lessons.
• 2:18
  Dom Hind: After decades working with some of the world's biggest brands, from Optus to Combank, Colin realized that while we're brilliant at building careers, we're terrible at building legacies.
• 2:32
  Dom Hind: Not the kind made of money, but the kind made of meaning.
• 2:38
  Dom Hind: Bill Will is his answer to that.
• 2:40
  Dom Hind: It helps people make sense of what really matters through three very human dimensions: the financial, the practical, and the personal.
• 2:51
  Dom Hind: Because legacy isn't just about what happens when we're gone.
• 2:55
  Dom Hind: It's about the small details that make up our lives now.
• 3:00
  Dom Hind: The quirks, the humor, the little acts of kindness, the things people actually remember.
• 3:06
  Dom Hind: From forgotten passwords to probate paperwork.
• 3:10
  Dom Hind: Colin's work reminds us that legacy isn't built in the big moments, it's tucked away in the small ones.
• 3:23
  Dom Hind: If you've ever hit pause and wondered what's all this really for, this episode is for you and will hit home.
• 3:32
  Dom Hind: Colin Billy Joel.
• 3:34
  Dom Hind: Welcome to Fuck, I'm nearly 15.
• 3:38
  Dom Hind: If someone met you at a dinner party and you couldn't say founder, how would you describe yourself?
• 3:46
  Colin Jowell: It's a hilarious question because I'd never say founder.
• 3:49
  Dom Hind: I know, I know, but you know.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: But um, I, you know, if I was trying to impress somebody, I would probably say I'm an applied behavioral scientist.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Um, but I'm a serial entrepreneur.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: I've done a series of businesses for myself and with my partner.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: Um, and now I have a little tech business that helps people define what kind of legacy they'd like to leave behind for the loved ones.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I love I love the whole thing about legacy.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Can you just talk about what legacy means to you?
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Well, legacy, it's it can be it can be a bit of a scary word because I think we can get trapped into, I suppose, the bigger things that we've done in our lives and the the this myth that we're somehow going to be remembered in some way, shape, or form one, two, three generations from now.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Legacy is really about uh for me, it's about the love and the relationships that you that you leave behind and leaving behind memories that are both, you know, positive but also pain-free.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: And I think we'll talk about those things in sort of separate measure because they're equally important.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: And we think about we think about the the the positive stuff, but we also there's a lot of pain that can be inadvertently left behind if we're not if we're not careful about it.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: What's one moment in your life that made you go?
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Fuck, something has to change.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I'd have to say losing my dad in 2020.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Um we were, I suppose, you know, lucky to a certain extent that we knew that he was he was sick.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: And so he was in a hospital nearby, and I got to see him pretty much every single day, which is something I hadn't done since my childhood.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: And a lot of the conversations we had talked about the life that he'd led and the legacy that he was leaving.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: And he was a man who, in my estimation, my dad was my hero, done so many amazing things, and yet he was so uncertain about what legacy he was leaving behind.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: And so it really, I was like, I don't think I'm ever going to achieve half as much as as he did, and he's still worried about this stuff.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: I need to start focusing on on different things and going, yeah, I'm I'm living my life in all the wrong, uh tasting all of the wrong things, you know.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can understand that.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Um, you've had a fascinating career working with big brands, big egos, big ideas.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: What was the tipping point where you realized success wasn't just what you build, but what you leave?
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, so I went through an experience where I'd built an agency, I'd sold that agency, um, and then I'd left the business that I sold it to and went back into working for another agency.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: And don't get me wrong, great place, lovely people, all the things that I'd left were were were still there.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Um, but I just looked at the kind of work that I was doing, and you know, advertising for me had kind of lost its uh its its stature, I guess.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Sparkle.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: You know, I mean, I remember a time early in our careers when, you know, you could turn on the television and you could two out of the three ads with a give and break would be work that you'd had a hand in, and that felt like something.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: And then I was like, even if I were to achieve that again today, what would that be?
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: What would that be?
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: It's different, different meaning.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Totally, totally.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: And then you look back on the things that the process of getting to that.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Well, what what what's part of that?
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Well, that was building businesses and helping people get started in their careers and you know, changing lives in that kind of way.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: Um, and you know, occasionally I'd I'll get um notes from people who I'd helped early out in their career, and that's the stuff that really matters.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: So it's less about this the the work, the recognition, awards, and who gives a fuck, you know?
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Totally, totally.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Um, have you found yourself chasing something you thought you wanted, then realized it wasn't actually yours to chase?
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: I mean, when I sold the business the the first time I sold it to a consulting company, yeah, and that was I'd started my life as a consultant.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: And if if you read anyone's CB and they've left consulting after two years, it wasn't necessarily their choice, is all I'm gonna say.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: Um, and so 20 years later I was back in this consulting environment, and you know, there was this sort of you know, you know, if I'd wanted to chase the past of my partner again, and I was like, it's the last thing in the world I want to do.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Um, it was the first time I'd ever looked ahead and gone the next step, the logical next step is not what I want at all.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can totally understand that.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Um so you you've spent years helping brands tell better stories.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: What made you want to help people tell theirs?
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, I think I think firstly, everyone has a story to tell right?
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: And yet, if you sit someone down and you ask them to tell that story, most people don't even know where to start.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: And I I and I think I watched that to a certain extent with with my dad.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: And Bill will, in many ways, is inspired by the all the things that he did do in that regard, but also some of the things that he failed to do in that regard.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Um, but I just realized if you know, we've all got things that we need to pass on.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: Some of it will prevent pain from happening, and some of it will bring immense comfort, and yet most of us don't know where to start.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: And we don't, it's not easy and it's scary and it's intimidating.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: And so I looked around the market, as it were, and I was like, oh well, maybe this there's something that's out there, and none of them really did it in the way that I thought it could be, yeah, it could be done.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Okay, interesting.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: For anyone who hasn't heard of Bill Will, how do you describe it in your own words?
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Um, we talk about it in terms of the financial and the practical and the personal, and you can leave critical information that will either spare your loved ones endless hours of searching and pain and uncertainty, or bring them immense comfort in and letting them understand that your wishes and your hopes and your dreams for them.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: And we all have people in our lives, whether it's kids that you're looking after or or parents that you might be leaving behind, which is in some cases it's both.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Um, and we go, okay, well, if I wasn't here, then what?
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Then what?
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: And it's interesting.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I um, prompted by this discussion, I did go through and start doing it for me.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Well, it's gone front.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: You know, I've already got my will and my letters of wishes, all of that's already done.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: But just it it is confronting thinking about what is the message that I want my kids to be left with?
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: What is something that I want them to know?
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: Like it literally is what is the knowledge and the wealth of wisdom that you are passing on to them so that they can remember that?
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Because you're right, like two, three, four generations are not going to remember us.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: No, like unless you actually did change the world, they are not going to remember the everyday people.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: No.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: But you do have a role to play in building their foundations as a human, 100%, which then will have a flow-on effect to the people that they surround themselves with.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: And there's no real vehicle, like you don't, and it doesn't have to be war and peace, you know.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: No.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Where we're at with with the how we solve for that particular problem on the app is well, this is actually where we've actually started using some AI to help you.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Because, okay, firstly, your wishes for your kids are going to change from year to year.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: And then from day to day.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: And also the crap that you accumulate as well.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Like 100% needs to be included.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: From so we take people on a sort of a it's called Bill, obviously.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: And it takes people on this sort of journey of okay, well, let's get the life and death stuff out of the way.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: So that's why the name Okay, right.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: And now I get it.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Well, it started as a will for your bills and your bank accounts.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Now we've turned Bill into a whole new creature.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: And so Bill will talk you through the life and death stuff, like what are the allergies that are going to kill your child that people should know about?
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Um, but then also what are the things that bring them comfort, and then guide them into the conversation around, well, you know, are there any habits or chores or attitudes towards technology or what do you want for their education?
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: So it sort of guides you in a sort of a very gentle kind of way, starting with the basic stuff that you go, yeah, I should probably do this.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: And someone should know this.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: Um, because you know, what we found even between couples, the information isn't necessarily symmetrically shared.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can I can imagine that.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: And so having the bot kind of lead the conversation is kind of it it means that it's not as confrontational because they're um, you know, they're being asked questions mutually together.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Um, what do you think?
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: See, I think this is it's so interesting that, you know, when I talk to people about Bill Will, they'll be like, oh, it's just too confronting.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: How do you get around that?
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Like even my nan, who's 93, and or 93 tomorrow, um, she doesn't want to talk about death.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: You know, I mean, I I almost understand it more at your nan's age than I do at ours.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: And I know that sounds like an inverse logic.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Because at our age, actually, the confrontation of it, I try to get people around reframing it.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: It's not about the imminence of your death.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: It is actually about the complexity of your life.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: Or what your loved ones weren't do would to do if you weren't here to give them the mental rotix of all of that information that you just keep carrying around in your head.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: So it's not about whether you're 50 or 60 or 70 or 80, but how complicated is your life and how easy would it be for someone to pick that up, pick that stuff up.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: I mean, I joke that I invented this because if the, you know, if I something were to have happened to me and the lights went out, that would be the first time my partner would know that the electricity hadn't been.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: So, you know, you know, you know, and and then you multiply that by that's one that's one field of above 1500 that we collect.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: So, you know, and that stuff becomes genuine pain.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Genuine pain.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: Do you think in doing this you've realized just how overcomplicated we make our lives?
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Totally.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: And how much shit that we accumulate, and how much stuff that we just add and add and ad and add and don't need to?
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, 100%.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think there's this really basic aha moment.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: So one of the cool things on the app is that it connects to your bank accounts and it finds all of your bills for you, right?
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: And so, and everyone, everyone's, you know, I'm not gonna use the streamer brand name, but they have a they have that moment where they're I'm paying for these.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: And then there's this uh another module where they've got all of their possessions where they can be set to sentimental possessions.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: Of course, you know, if cataloguing these things becomes a pain in the derriere, what are you even doing hanging on to these things?
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: But also the time involved in maintaining the things, you go, Well uh are they actually adding joy or are they just being a maintenance thing that I need to carry on for my family?
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Well, one of the things, and putting on the behavioral science hat for a sec, you know, we become attenuated to things both positive and negative really, really quickly.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: So if we have something really bad happen into our lives, one of our best survival instincts is our ability to adjust.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: But unfortunately, that also works with the things and the stuff.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: You stop looking around the the the house and seeing the beautiful artwork or the the things that you worked so hard to achieve.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: You just accept that they're there.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: And then and then if there's too much of it, it can become oppressive.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: Um, and so yeah, I just it it's a it's a way of sort of murry condoing your administrative life.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: And I find it quite satisfying, but you know, about 30 to 40 percent of the population find it satisfying.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: About 34 to 40 percent of people couldn't give it away.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: They don't care, they don't care.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: They're just like, whatever.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I'm happy to accumulate.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: People often say to me, Oh, what do I care?
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: I'll be dead.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: But they go, you know, okay, that's all right.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: You know, but for the rest of us who care about the people we leave behind, that's what we're there for.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: It's interesting.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: So one of my really good friends, both of her parents passed at separate times, and the admin load that she now carries in managing it.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: 100%, it's a lot.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: It's a full-time job.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Like it, like uh it actually is a full-time job.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: And the the hard thing is, is you know that they love you, but leaving all this shit behind is actually really selfish because it's leaving it to them to clear it up.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: I mean, we reckon on the platform if you if you persevere, you have to, and that's why we've built it in this modular way, is because like do them, you know, like a module a day max.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Maybe even two or three a week, and you'll get there in a couple of weeks.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: Um, but you know, for every five minutes on you spend on the platform, you're probably saving your loved one about an hour or two hours of hunting.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: Think about it.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: If you didn't know who the electricity was with, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Where would you go to the you have to go through emails and you'd have to like which email can't is it invoice?
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Is it like by company?
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Like there's a lot.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: So we reckon we can save a family between 200 to 300 hours of hunting and in some cases pure uncertainty.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Like one of the first things a family will fight about if it's not clear is what's your funeral plan?
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: How would you do that?
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, well, because I mean it happens within the first seven days.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: 100%.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Like, and you're already in that grief stage and 100% not knowing what to do.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: And religious views are over here, the family may be over there, and somewhere in between a plan needs to be made at a time when you cannot make a plan.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: And so, you know, that's often one of the first places that families start fighting.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: And then they continue with money counter.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: The money doesn't make it better.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Money does not make that better.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Why do you think we avoid thinking about what we'll leave behind until it's too late?
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: I just think people don't think about things in terms of the complexity of their lives.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I think they can think about it, you know, there's this great Steve Jobs commencement thing where he talks about, so it says, you know, if you if you act like every day is going to be your last, yeah, one day you'll be right.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: And it's a really good, and you know, he, you know, in that in that speech, he really talks about the fact that, you know, thinking about this consistently is one of the best ways of, I think he says, avoiding the trap of thinking we have anything to lose.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: And I found that really one of the profound things around sort of driving that is that we avoid doing it because we don't want to think.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: We think that by thinking about it, we'll invite it into our but I view it in completely the different way.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Like when was the last time you imagined a situation and it happened exactly as you thought it was going to?
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: There's always something.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: There's always something different.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: So if you unless you spend the time manifesting and manifesting.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: I've never manifested accurately in my life.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: It's always just a little bit different.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: Like it's it's always great, but it's just not what I anticipated.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: And the same goes with death.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Like you can't manifest the perfect death.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know, if you were to receive a diagnosis tomorrow, yeah, would you and think about you as future you having finished the bill will having done everything in its place.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: I'd be so happy.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: So pleased because you'd get those last days, then however long you could travel or go dancing or doing, or that's what you want to be spending that time doing.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: So it's not a you know, and that's why I go, it's I get it if you're 70.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: Like if you're 70 and you know your life has kind of shut down and it's simplified, and you would rather not think about it, or 80 or 90 these days.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: But at our age, at the fucking nearly 50 phase, actually, this is when like time would be really better spent.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, doing that.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Doing other things.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: So interleave the I've hopefully I've inspired you to do at least the other three modules, do that.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: I'm definitely going to.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: You know, do it interleave with the other things, and then when the time comes, you're just like, oh great.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: I can I can do the things that I want to do.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: I can spend time connecting with the people that I love.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: And actually leaving a bit more of a legacy with them.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: And creating those memories when you still have the time.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, rather than stressing about the admin you've got.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: Rather than going well, it's my bank accounts.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: Says no one.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: You said before that how we live is how we'll be remembered.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: What do you think most people get wrong about that?
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, so not Steve Jobs, didn't invent the iPhone, not Romeo and Michelle, I didn't invent a post-it either.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: People think it's about the big things.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: And it is not about the big things.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: So in fact, I know that my soon-to-be husband at the end of the year is not going to remember uh even anything I've done with Bill Will.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: He's not going to remember that.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: The moment he'll remember me is when he hears a really bad pun laden dad joke.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: And and he's gonna wish that I'd either told it to him or that he could tell it to me.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: And those are the it's in those small details that our true legacy lies.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: The things that make us that that are where our true personality exists.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: Um, and then those moments that that that ultimately create a last a lifetime.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: Even on those big trips that we take, is it you know, seeing Big Ben or was it the ice cream you had walking down the street?
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: It's always the ice cream.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Always ice cream, particularly if it's like lavender flavor, fantastic.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Um, if someone listening feels like they're just getting through the day, how can they start living with more purpose right now without it feeling like another job on the list?
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think about it like purpose, go small.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Come right back to the present.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: We don't create any change in our lives by focusing on these giant goals.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: We the most effective way to create change in your life is to do the smallest thing possible on a consistent basis.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: And so it is again, it's not about the big things, it's about okay, well, what is the one thing I can do for myself today?
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Whether it's go to go to the gym or you know, call someone, call someone or spend an extra half an hour with the kids or whatever.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: What is the smallest possible thing that you can do that will add meaning and value to your life?
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: And just keep and then don't change, keep doing that until you think of something else to do.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Um, so starting small and staying small, and all the habit change guys will talk about this in that way.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Rather than thinking about, oh, I'm not living my purpose and I need to find what this thing is.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: And it comes clear over time.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: And then you suddenly realize actually was there all along.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: In the little reaction, the little moments we have.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, even with that, I always ask myself, where can I find the joy?
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Where is the joy in this?
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: Like, because the joy, with the joy comes those small moments of just depth and love within you.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, totally.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Um legacy across three dimensions the financial, the practical, the personal.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Can you, what, what, why?
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: What do I mean?
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: What are you talking about?
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: What are you talking about?
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like the yeah, surely the will covers this and you know, yeah.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Should we just be be done?
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: No, well, you know, little known facts.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: So let's start with the financial stuff, because that's what people really think about the most.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Um, well, even if there's when someone dies, the number one thing I think most people would think about is what like the money.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: It's the money.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: What is what's the what's the money?
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: What's the stuff?
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: And yet there is no record of your bills, uh, your bank accounts and your will, right?
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: Nor should there be, right?
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: And little known fact, most wills can't be executed without something called probate, which is a grant that the will is valid.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: And in order to get a grant of probate, you need an accurate statement of your assets and liabilities.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: Um well, where is that?
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: And how are you gonna get that?
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: So we help people with a roadmap to that.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: Um, we are open banking enabled so we can actually provide the estate with accurate information on cloud.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: So they're not writing to 20 banks.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Uh, you know, and most of the stuff, you know, uh suffers from what I call the Ghostbusters problem.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Like, who are you gonna call?
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Like you just so no start.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: Um where's the wallet?
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: Are you gonna start flipping through the credit tape?
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: No, it's like where's the phone?
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: So that's the financial stuff.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: And without the financial stuff, the rest of the world can't even start.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Um, and then there's the practical stuff.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: And the practical stuff, we've got these complicated, invisible digital lives.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: Time was you could sit by the mailbox and someone's life would eventually be passing through.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: But now you're searching through emails if you've got the password to the computer that's probably operating on a fingerprint.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: And so you can't really cut a fingerprint.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't want to be, we don't want to be getting into that business.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: So, you know, we deal with things like, you know, where are the password stored, yeah, you know, uh, secure solutions for all of that.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: Um, what are where are the key online accounts that you you that you you you you want to manage, like you know, this notion of sort of the Facebook ghost that comes back to remind you that they're gone once a year, like that thing.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: And then yeah, all of the the water and the lights and the uh and the utilities and the phone bills, and and we help people with all of that stuff.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: Um, you know, and what people don't realize is they're oh shut shut the phone bill, the shut the mobile phone down, you know.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you still get a monthly bill.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but but you actually, in a lot of cases, you need it for two factor authentication.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: That kind of stuff.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: Otherwise, it becomes wildly complicated.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: And so I forgot about two factor.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so when we get an instruction to close or transfer of mobile phone, we go, are you sure?
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, can we sort of can we can we pause that until you've done everything else?
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Like the last thing you should do.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: Same goes with cloud accounts.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: You know, people go, uh, shut the Apple account.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: And they go, okay, so all that data you have the data, the photos, yeah, the ear comes.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: We're we're like a little bit of friction in that space, in the family space.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: And then there's the personal stuff.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: And the personal stuff is everything from you know, heartfelt letters of of of true letters of wishes in terms of your aspirations for your kids.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: Or, you know, I mean, I don't have kids, but I do have if I were to die today, I would want to make sure that there was a plan in place for someone to look after my mum.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, um, and so and and I have friends.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: You do, you do, yeah.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: You got to do that.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: But I care about too.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Um, and so there's something for everybody, and you know, and I'm a you know, mad cat daddy, so that needs to be, you know.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: The pets.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: The pets are a big thing.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they are a big thing.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, 100%.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: So yeah, it's uh it's a lot to think about, but one module a day.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: That's all.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: Um, what are some of those oh shit moments people don't think about until it's too late?
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, we've kind of covered, I think we've kind of gone through that in terms of it is about the specific details of any given any given aspect of your life, whether it is the financial or the personal, or you know, maybe you've nominated a guardian for your child.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: Um see what I like, I want to change it, right?
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: And if you were, you know, but you know, if if, you know, God forbid, neither you or your partner were here to pass on that information.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: It's tough.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: Where do you start?
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: And you'd be amazed how quickly even just providing people with a basic roadmap on some of the big ticket items, yeah, it makes a huge difference.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the time saving is a massive thing.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: The kids on a personal level, I think the kids' allergies, hobbies, hopes for their futures, yeah, they're such a big conversation to have.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: And I think it should just be one that is included in there.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: And I think it's great that you are.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Have you seen or have you had your customers come and tell you anything interesting that they've uh wanted to do in in there?
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: You can't really talk about that kind of data.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: And in fact, I I mean, as a security measure, I can't even necessarily see that kind of data.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: What I can tell you about what our product is for people.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, perfect.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Um, is and so I'd mentioned we c we actually close and transfer bills and subscriptions on behalf of the incapacitated or the deceased.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: And that's a service you can actually do even if you haven't done the bill well.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: And I think, you know, on on on my what the fuck am I doing with my life moments ago, I close and transfer bills on behalf of them people.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: This is this is an incredible child.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: Um and yeah, you know, for the dozen or so families that we've already been able to help, it is a big deal.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: And just having someone else to help with that stuff is just so much more meaningful than than I ever thought it would be.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: Um and well, because you you probably didn't think about the human element of that.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: And you know, the grief is like a huge thing.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: You know, the mails that I get back from people when we're dealing with some of this perfunctory billing stuff, this the mails that are sent, I look at always look at the time, and it's always like at 2 30 in the morning.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, wow.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: So it's like one of the last things.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: That's the preoccupation and that restlessness and that rumination that you that we're able to help with.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Goodness.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: Um, that's the stuff that I think, okay.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: There's no there's no job too small.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: And I I think it is, it's interesting, even with that, just talking to people about death is a hard thing.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: 100%.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Can you tell me how you're you went to the funeral conference and what do you what do I actually talk about?
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: What like what do you do when you think I I I mean, listen, they're an amazing, an amaz I mean, it's a vocation, right?
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: In many ways, that that industry, um, many generations have been in the industry, right?
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: So you're born, you're born into that industry.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think they're an incredible uh group of people.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: Um, and they have a really good sense of humor about stuff.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: Incredibly, they manage to balance respect with humor.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: And I think that for me has been the biggest takeaway that I've that I've got in them.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Is that, you know, you know, they they operate in these deeply sad, you know, somber occasions.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: Um, but they have a really sort of strong sense of when there are moments of lightness in this space.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: And I I've learned a lot from them in terms of how to deal with it, like picking up on the cues, and you know, I mean, you know, I know through my own experience of it, there were plenty of times we were just killing ourselves laughing.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Um killing ourselves laughing.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: There's there's there's there's death, don't get me started on death puns.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: We'll be here all day.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: So um, what have you learned about what people really want to be remembered for?
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think I think it is a you know, through those conversations with my father.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: And through the process of starting another business at 48, doing all of this lunacy again.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: Like I I care about the business, but I think I share with a lot of people they care about the relationships that they've had.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: Those are the things that that that define them.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: The the love that the loves that they've had and have, those are the things that people want to that that they they they cling to, and they're the things that they want to have remembered.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: And when you can get to that, that's a the beautiful thing about that is that's available to all of us.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: There's no but there's no sense of uh external achievement that prevents you from having and creating those beautiful relationships in your life.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm very democratic.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Um how do you think sharing our stories can change how we live today, not just how we are remembered tomorrow?
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: In at any moment where you take a pause to reflect, you are going to get a couple of things happen to you.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: Firstly, you're gonna get this natural filtering effect of what really matters and what really stands out to you.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: So it helps you focus on on those things.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: And the inverse applies as well.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: You get a really strong sense of, you know, uh, you know, what really doesn't matter.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: And, you know, you, you know, if you're if you direct your own obituary, which the platform allows you to do if you want to, yeah.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: Um, you know, if you go through that exercise, it's an incredible act of of just being in the present, really.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah and living with uh you you immediately begin to change your priorities.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: Who am I spending my time with?
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what am I spending my time doing?
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: Um, and that's the real blessing of it.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: And so rather than being, oh, I don't want to think about this, you think about okay, well, what's my story if I were to die tomorrow?
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: It's an incredibly good filtering exercise.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I see, I think that it does teach you how you can live with purpose, yeah, live intentionally and live in the present.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, rather than just living some other life that you really don't want to be living.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: Yep, 100%.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: With rules that other people made for you.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: Cuts to the crap, like cuts through the crap and helps you crystallize how you want to be living.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, 100%.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: Does do you think this is by doing Bill Will, it has helped you cut through the crap?
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: Um, you know, because as I was about to embark on yet another startup that was going to cost me so much more than anything I'd ever done before in an industry I knew nothing about.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: That thing.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: Um Yeah, yeah.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: Don't worry about it.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: Don't worry about it.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: And I realized most of the issues were really my own fears coming.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: And how much, you know, and having just had the experiences that I had, like I didn't want to be making decisions based in in fear anymore.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: And that's, you know, this was the ultimate act of of of fearlessness, really.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: It's like, well, what have I got to lose?
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: What if?
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: What if.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a a friend of mine plays a an amazing game with their family when they've got any anxiety or insecurities of what if.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: And they get them to write down what if.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: You know, from the positives to the negatives, but what if the business failed?
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: What if, you know, and it does help to go, why don't you just have a crack?
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: Have a crack because the worst case scenario is often, even once you once you actually sort of give word to your feelings, actually good psychological studies, that even just giving words to your feelings mitigates them.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: So if you actually name a feeling, you can actually sometimes just calm it down a little bit.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: And particularly when it comes to fears or anxieties or insecurities, or in my case, three of those things screaming all at once, um, then you know, leaning into it and actually giving the the giving the space to do that.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: It's it's it's uh yeah, it's a really it's really powerful.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: Um what's your biggest learning in doing this?
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: Um that yeah, that I I think that nothing is as you think it is going to be.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: Um you have a you have to start a business like this with a very clear vision of what you want the product and the future and the growth and all of that stuff to be.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: And I have a I'm very blessed with a fantastic mentor.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: And he said to me, So yeah, it's not gonna look anything like that.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: That's like, it's like a curse, you know.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like great.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: So what's it gonna look like?
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: It's like, dunno, but we're gonna do it anyway.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: And so letting go of having being able to have that sort of duality of of having a clarity and a purpose and a drive and holding it really lightly and just accepting what comes is I think Yeah, that's a that's a good way of doing it, isn't it?
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: Just being clear on what you want, but not how it's going to be delivered.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and just kind of accepting that so much.
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: Things change.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: And it's out of your control.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Out of your out of your control.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, very quick questions.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: Best piece of advice you've ever been given.
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: Uh it's more important to be happy than right.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, good.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: Most overrated idea about success.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: Um that it is attached to any particular metric or milestone that's gonna make you a form engine happy.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: That it's never, never gonna do that for you.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: If your life had a tagline right now, what would it be?
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: I'm in a romantic phase of my life, so I'm gonna go, all you need, all you need is love.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, great.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: Song that that sums up your midlife vibe.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: And don't do that one, don't you?
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: No, no, I can't do it.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, no.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: I think ironically, the one that I've my pump-up song at the moment is is uh 70s disco track called The Hustle.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: Um, you know, with the pan pipes.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: Um and like the amount of hustle that I've had to whip out of the, you know, like we to we met in our 20s when we thought we had game and hustle.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: And so now I need a song to kind of get me back there.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Um, dream dinner guest, did her alive, uh, to talk about purpose and legacy.
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: Uh I'm South African, as you can hear.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: I would have to say Nelson Mandela.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: Because particularly now in a world where we are so unable to get past our particular differences and focus on the bigger picture.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: Um, that was his incredible legacy.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: And we need so much more of that in the world right now.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: So I'd love to get some perspective, wisdom, and goodness.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: I wonder what he would say.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: I think he'd be very sad.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: I reckon he would be too.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: Like really sad.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: Really sad.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: Because it's gone back such a long way.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: We can have another podcast.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Seriously.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: Um, okay.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: So, what's one truth about success, meaning, or legacy that people need to stop ignoring and actually believe?
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: That it can wait.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: That it can wait.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: Um, it can't wait.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: Uh it needs to, you can you can make it happen today.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: And uh and that your diff your, you know, whatever it is that you choose to leave behind, uh, it can't wait till tomorrow before you start figuring out what it is that it's gonna be.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: I think that is a great thing, isn't it?
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: It's actually like start today.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: Start now.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: Start now.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: Start small.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: Start small.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: What's that one thing inside you that you just want to, yeah.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: What would yours be?
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: Mine at the moment would be joy or vibrancy.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: Or being sorry, joy or vibrant.
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: And that would be like just trying to spread that warmth and that happiness.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for me, it's connection.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: You know, um, the connections that I make with people on a day-to-day basis, this has been like so much fun.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: Um, but they can those the it is those those the great thing about pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in this way is that you get to meet lots of different people in lots of different domains.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: And sometimes, you know, it can feel like you're very much on the outside of what what is happening.
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: But when those moments of connection happen and people get you and what you're doing, and the kind of person that you really are, that's that's everything.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: That's a good one.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: That's a good one.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: And it's, you know, it rings true because I was on the phone to one of my good friends just as I was walking in here, and we were talking about that connection and finding your fit and you know, questioning sometimes whether you are in that right fit.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: You know, the connections don't have to be in all areas of your life.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: No, but they have to be in the ones that matter.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: And then, you know, as the big five-o approaches, you know, it's the first person you connect with is yourself, right?
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Well, and that's it.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: Like we we forget that, you know, you are in your life with you.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: And if you are not connected to you and what you're thinking and being present with you, that's, you know, that's a big one.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: 100%.
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, I think finish.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: Before we wrap, if you could challenge me to do something before I turn 50, something that pushes me, makes me think, or just questions what I'm doing, what would it be?
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: Um challenging you.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: Because you see, I'm gonna say something, even though I think you're pretty fearless from what I know of you.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: But I know that none of us are as fearless as we appear to be.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: And so, and you've made some big changes in in your in your life, but there is always an opportunity for the next time you're feeling torn in a decision.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, um, I want you to lean into the fear that is making you torn and and acting as if that fear didn't exist.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: So the next time you're feeling hesitation, it's probably gonna be fear.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: And you're you you you have to just pick up that fear and put it consciously to the side.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: I've got something in mind for that.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: I was like, is that too esoteric?
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: And you're like, no, I know what we're doing there.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, I know exactly what it is.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: Do you yeah, yeah, something making you a little edgy?
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: So if fear had no role to play for you, yeah.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: What would you do?
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: What would your decision be?
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: And see, it's interesting because fear, like I normally couldn't give a shit what anyone thinks or whatever, because it's all more about me.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: But there is still that fear that sometimes does drive you.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: And go, well, what if?
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: What if?
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: Back to that what if.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: What if?
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: What if it fails?
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: But what if it works out?
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: So I'm telling you right now that fear doesn't exist.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: The fear doesn't exist, and just do it.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: Go forth.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: Go forth and see what happens.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: Great.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: Awesome.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: Um, have I missed anything?
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not.
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, good.
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, good, good.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: Um, Colin, thank you for bringing your honesty, your depth, and humor to a conversation that could easily have been heavy.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: Uh, but somehow you make it inspiring, practical, and human.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: All about connections, which is what you want.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: Um, you remind us that success isn't a finishing line, it's a feeling.
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: And legacy, which I really do think we need to start talking about this more.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: And just the small things in the legacy.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: It's not what we leave behind, but it's how we show up while we're here.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: Through the stories we tell, the people we love, and the choices we make every day.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: We've you've shown that midlife isn't about slowing down because you're obviously speeding up.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: Uh, it's about doing things with more clarity, compassion, and meaning.
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: And if anyone is curious about starting or capturing your own stories and wisdom, check out Bill Will.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: It's a beautiful reminder that our stories are our legacies and you can actually start one module at a time.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: Awesome.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: You like that?
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: You love it.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: And we're gonna be that's gonna be all over my socials.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: Um, and if this episode made you pause, smile, or think a little bit deeper about getting your shit sorted and making sure that your kids' lives are easier at the other end.
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: Share it with someone who might need to hear it too.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: Or just start getting your shit organized and start now.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: Start building your legacy, start planning, start doing it.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: Because fuck, we're nearly 50 and isn't it amazing.