Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Do all narcissists have bad hygiene?
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on? Beautiful people.
- 0:02Today we're talking about narcissists in their hygiene,
- 0:05narcissistic, toxic people in their good or bad, sometimes bad
- 0:12hygiene. If you're new here, my name is
- 0:13Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
- 0:15narcissist. And welcome to another episode
- 0:17of the Narcissist Code. So boom, welcome back folks,
- 0:36welcome back, welcome back. Yes, yes, yes.
- 0:38So I got a comment y'all in my comment section the other day.
- 0:41This is why I read a lot of the comments, you know, and it's
- 0:44like, can you talk about narcissists and bad hygiene?
- 0:47And I was like, I can, I can do that.
- 0:50So let me go and preface this by saying not all narcissists have
- 0:59bad hydrate. Not every single no no no no.
- 1:04No two narcissists are the same. I would just say most
- 1:06narcissistic people don't like have pretty decent hydrate.
- 1:10But there are a, there is a certain sector of narcissistic
- 1:17people, right, that have bad hygiene.
- 1:20There are because like, well, Lee, but why, why does my
- 1:24narcissistic toxic ass partner leave streaks on the sheets when
- 1:28they sleep with their clothes off, when they sleep naked?
- 1:32There's streaks on the there's streaks on the sheets, there's
- 1:36toxicity abounding and blah, blah, blah.
- 1:39Boo Boo, Boo, BBB. You know, why is this?
- 1:42Why is this happening? Lee, too?
- 1:43Can you tell us why, please? Or they just, they're just dirty
- 1:47overall. No baths, no deodorant, no
- 1:50nothing. Like there's a lot of
- 1:52narcissistic people that do that.
- 1:53And one of the main reasons is because childhood neglect,
- 1:57childhood neglect, childhood trauma, right?
- 2:01They didn't get taught how to take care of themselves in their
- 2:04childhood. So they don't know how to use
- 2:06deodorant. They don't know how to take
- 2:09baths on the regular. They don't know how to.
- 2:10They have very, very bad teeth and whatnot.
- 2:13They don't brush their teeth, breath always stinking.
- 2:16Now there was there was one of me right there that was me for a
- 2:18long time by not brushing the teeth and things of that nature.
- 2:21Just just neglect and not knowing, you know, not knowing
- 2:24to brush your teeth. I know it's like believe that
- 2:26everybody y'all, I grew up in the 80s, early 90s.
- 2:30This wasn't something that we focused on in my household.
- 2:34I know it was neglect, right? You see what I'm saying?
- 2:36But now I just had a, as an adult, I've had to work on my
- 2:39teeth and get my teeth straight and do things like that.
- 2:41But you just, it's neglect and sometimes trauma, trauma,
- 2:45traumatic experiences. Sometimes you don't get to use
- 2:47the bathroom. Sometimes you, you know, you get
- 2:49abused and beaten and things like that.
- 2:51When you, if you do go to the bathroom, I'm scared to go to
- 2:53the bathroom at night because if I get up at night and wake my
- 2:56dad up, I get my, I get my ass big.
- 2:57So you, you pee in the bed. There's certain things like
- 3:01that. There's certain things that
- 3:03happen in your youth that you bring into your adulthood.
- 3:07So this is not me trying to justify some, some stinking butt
- 3:12or some funky underarms or some bad breath or bad teeth or
- 3:16anything like that. But sometimes it does come from
- 3:18trauma and neglect. It's not me trying to justify
- 3:20because once you become an adult, there's certain things
- 3:22you got to shift and whatnot. And like I say, because like
- 3:26sometimes you can't control, like you don't have the money.
- 3:28Sometimes it's the lack of resources growing up and you
- 3:31just, this isn't for anybody, you know, the lack of resources
- 3:33growing up, you just don't have the access to the resources to
- 3:35pay to get your teeth fixed. That was definitely me.
- 3:38You know, I had a gap in my teeth for years.
- 3:41Like I'm 30, I'm about to be 39 in a couple about a month.
- 3:44And yeah, I had a gap. I just got my gap closed.
- 3:48Yeah. Wait, I just got, had this, my
- 3:50teeth closed September 2022. So it's been about a year and a
- 3:56half now, almost two years. August.
- 3:58Yeah, September 2022 when this happened, like when I finally
- 4:01got my teeth done and whatnot. So this is part of it.
- 4:04Like, sometimes it's neglect and lack of resources and things of
- 4:07that nature. And you, because you get so
- 4:08accustomed to it growing up that you don't think about it, You
- 4:12know, you just, some of you just like, hey, this is what I'm used
- 4:13to. Hey, babe, you, you, your arm's
- 4:15kind of funky. Did you take a bath today?
- 4:17Did you did you wipe after you used the bathroom?
- 4:19What do you come out? And then because if you bring it
- 4:24up, they feel a lot of shame. They might attack you.
- 4:26They might attack you for bringing up their bad hygiene,
- 4:30right? They might attack you and abuse
- 4:32you and use you and things like that because you brought it up,
- 4:36like you brought up something that is you brought up a truth
- 4:39like they might stink, they might not be taking care of
- 4:41themselves in a decent way, might have really, really messed
- 4:44up hair or whatever it is the hygienic, you know, just bad
- 4:47hygiene overall because of those situation.
- 4:50They might attack you for bringing it up.
- 4:51You become the victim in this situation.
- 4:53You become the the antagonist because you pointed it out and
- 4:56you made them feel ashamed of themselves.
- 4:58You know, you made them feel the same in themselves.
- 5:00So they attacked you because you pointed it out, because you
- 5:04brought it up. And all those like you just
- 5:06trying to help them and you just trying to help yourself as well,
- 5:08because who wants to lay in bed or kiss or lick clap cheeks or
- 5:11something like somebody that's that's just not taking care of
- 5:14themselves. You know what I mean?
- 5:16That's the crazy thing about it. But I know what people are going
- 5:18to say. But like, Lee something Lee.
- 5:20OK, I got you. Lee, I hear you.
- 5:22I hear you talking. I hear you.
- 5:23We hear you. Everybody hears you, but what is
- 5:25going on with the people who love these people like this?
- 5:27Like you didn't, they didn't take a bath that you, you met
- 5:30them when they were stinking. Why do you think they would
- 5:32change now? Exactly.
- 5:35If a narcissist, you met a narcissistic person right in the
- 5:37gym and they were just funky. They, they, they could use the
- 5:40gym funk as an excuse. All the reason I stink because I
- 5:43was, I was working out and they didn't, they didn't smell any
- 5:46better than the second time you met them.
- 5:47You know what I mean? So sometimes they, they feel
- 5:49like, if you met me like this, then this is how I am.
- 5:52Yeah, It could be trauma. It could be trauma and stuff
- 5:54like that. It could just be like, they
- 5:55don't care if they stink or walk around with hair messed up,
- 6:00teeth all yelling and buttery and caked up and all the other
- 6:03stuff. Sometimes they don't care.
- 6:05They know it. They don't care.
- 6:06They expect you to tolerate it. I'm entitled to stink.
- 6:10Who cares if I stink? I got money.
- 6:11Sometimes they have money and can definitely afford to take
- 6:14care of themselves. But there's like this weird type
- 6:16of intentional neglect that goes on with some narcissist, right?
- 6:20Some narcissistic people like this is weird type of
- 6:22intentional neglect. When you do, you have the money,
- 6:25you have the resources, but you just don't do it like one of my
- 6:28highly narcissistic old friends, right?
- 6:31This dude, this would not take like he had all the money.
- 6:35He he used to show me checks for like 6-7, eight, $1000 man made
- 6:39$8000 tonight. Want to go to the club but
- 6:42didn't have like, don't have health insurance, man.
- 6:45I just made $10,000 today. Don't have car insurance.
- 6:49Like, yeah, fake, fake plates on the back of his car.
- 6:52Like why don't you get real plates, man?
- 6:53I just like, man, forget it, man, I'm cool.
- 6:56They don't care. Some people think they're above
- 6:58they they are. They make so much money or they
- 7:00so important or whatever. They just above taking care of
- 7:03themselves. Deal with it.
- 7:04You want me to deal with it. You want to be in my you.
- 7:07If you want to be in my orbit, you got to, you got to, you
- 7:09know, you might need the clothes pin for your nose, but you're
- 7:12going to be in my orbit. You got to accept me as is.
- 7:15This is who I am. I stink.
- 7:18Deal with it. That's the there really is the
- 7:24mindset of some darcis. Like I think I'm above
- 7:26everybody. I'm above the fray from tapping
- 7:29in to take care of myself because I'm so important that
- 7:31you just deal with the funk. Yeah, I stink.
- 7:34But this is the thing right here.
- 7:36This is and this is the thing right here with narcissistic
- 7:38people right here. Y'all, they know that it
- 7:41reflects badly on you. If you have a stinking partner
- 7:45that you're bringing around there, you bring around other
- 7:47people like girl, your husband smell like Aqua Boogie or just
- 7:53older funk. He's just funky.
- 7:55Hey man, Hey bro, I don't talk about your, your girl or
- 7:58whatever man. But like, and she kind of she,
- 8:02she kind of, she kind of tart her, her, her scent stings the
- 8:08nostrils. Are you y'all good?
- 8:10You mean they reflects badly on you?
- 8:13So some of them diverted to you. They were pointed directly
- 8:15towards you and things like that, because that's how they
- 8:17feel. That's the way their mind goes.
- 8:19They're like, well, this is on you.
- 8:20So it reflects badly on you as well because you're with me.
- 8:24So some of them don't care. Some of them want to embarrass
- 8:26you so they refuse to take care of themselves and y'all will go
- 8:29out with them and they just thinking you can try to upgrade
- 8:32them. You can try to get them Cologne
- 8:34like you get them some Cologne of perfume.
- 8:35They just, you know, Cologne of perfume sprayed over a funky
- 8:39body stinking clothes just makes, you know, just this is a
- 8:44weird, weird concoction of weird smells.
- 8:49You know what I mean? That does happen too.
- 8:52So a lot of narcissistic people just don't care about how they
- 8:55smell, how they the scent, they just think they're above taking
- 8:58care of themselves. And yeah, it could it be
- 9:00accidental that they just forgot one time or two times?
- 9:02Yeah, it could be accidental. They just woke up late 1 morning
- 9:06and ran out the house and just forgot to put the deal around.
- 9:08Yeah, that's there could be an accident that does happen as
- 9:10well, y'all. But again, this kind of if they
- 9:13if they run out of the house and forget it every day for six
- 9:16months, every day for a couple weeks, it don't seem like
- 9:20they're forget it anymore. They just don't want to do it.
- 9:22Some of them are just lazy and don't give a damn on how they
- 9:24smell like. Some of them don't care.
- 9:26Some of them just have the access and the resources to do
- 9:28it. They're just lazy.
- 9:29I have other things to focus on than taking a bath I don't need.
- 9:32I don't need to take a bath every week.
- 9:34You know what I mean? I don't need to take a bath
- 9:36every single day. Who?
- 9:37Who takes a bath every day? Who does that, you know?
- 9:41But on the flip side of things, are there narcissists that are
- 9:43hyper focused on their hygiene and self-care?
- 9:45Yes, there are a lot of narcissistic people that are
- 9:47consumed with how they appear and how they how they present
- 9:51the people and things like that and they just hyper focus on
- 9:54their hygiene and how they presented to the world.
- 9:56So it does happen that way as well when you get the opposite
- 10:00end of the spectrum where there are narcissists that only care
- 10:03and they and they judge they they super judge other people as
- 10:07well. They super judge other people
- 10:09that might smell a certain type of way or who people who don't
- 10:11smell as good as they do. You can smell good, but you
- 10:13don't smell as good as I do. So that that becomes problematic
- 10:16as well. So there are some narcissists on
- 10:19the other end of the spectrum that absolutely care about how
- 10:22they present, how they smell, have the perfect hygiene, but
- 10:26have they have perfect hygiene, perfect self-care, but a
- 10:28horrible personality. Their, their, their personality
- 10:32stinks like their body smells good.
- 10:34He's like, man, you smell, you smell wonderful, but you are
- 10:39horrible, you evil, you are you, you, you wonderfully evil.
- 10:43That's how we describe yourself. How did how did they smell?
- 10:47You smell like pecans, pumpkin pie, the cinnamon, the cinnamon,
- 10:55cinnamon and Satan. You smell like Satan anyways
- 11:04y'all if y'all made it this far. If you have some bad hygiene
- 11:07stories, you can drop them in the conversation as well.
- 11:10Put a look a little it made it this far.
- 11:12Put a devil in the conversation. Let me know you have to the the
- 11:15Satan joke and make sure you hit the subscribe button as well.
- 11:18If you made it this far, you might as well why not hit the
- 11:19subscribe button close in the half a million like subscribe.
- 11:24But to turn this out peace. Thank you so much for making it
- 11:27to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you
- 11:29have no idea. If you haven't already, make
- 11:31sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel helps reach more
- 11:33people and click on the screen to watch another video or to
- 11:36browse through another playlist. There's also a link on the
- 11:38screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
- 11:41you heal and understand what you've been through.
- 11:43Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
- 11:45video. Peace.