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Transcript

98 | The Church of Latter Day Podcasts · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Eric: Matt, can I share with you one of my guiltiest pleasures?
• 0:05
  Eric: I wish you would One of my guiltiest pleasures.
• 0:08
  Eric: And I say that there's no actual guilt involved, it's just fun for me.
• 0:11
  Eric: So I was raised Catholic.
• 0:15
  Eric: Sure, same In a predominantly Christian area Sure.
• 0:21
  Eric: In a predominantly Christian country?
• 0:23
  Eric: Sure, same.
• 0:30
  Eric: You know I am not that I'm not christian.
• 0:31
  Eric: Um, nothing but sin, love, empathy and respect to all people of faith, just to put that out there.
• 0:37
  Eric: Yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure, um, but my guiltiest pleasure, something I love and, having grown up in, like and you felt that was all necessary preamble to whatever you're about to say.
• 0:48
  Matt: Yes, okay, yes, just make it true, it is true.
• 0:50
  Eric: It is because of that background I have been exposed, and I feel like this is something you enjoy too.
• 0:56
  Eric: Uh-huh, I have been exposed to one of my all my life, one of my favorite facets of like culture in the place I grew up clever church signs.
• 1:08
  Eric: Oh yeah, those are delightful.
• 1:11
  Eric: We love a clever church sign.
• 1:13
  Matt: You don't need to be a person of faith to appreciate a clever church sign.
• 1:20
  Eric: One of my favorites from church in my hometown give Satan an inch and he will become a ruler Classic.
• 1:28
  Eric: That's really good, like, that's really good.
• 1:31
  Eric: There there was the one church in town that like was on top of their fucking game.
• 1:35
  Eric: But I, I, I say all of that so I can say I, I, the other day I saw hands down the best one, okay it day.
• 1:44
  Eric: I saw hands down the best one, okay it in instant, instant winner, it wins the game.
• 1:48
  Eric: Okay, I'm ready, we're.
• 1:50
  Eric: And it caught me, totally unawares, like I was.
• 1:52
  Eric: We were driving and we turned a corner.
• 1:54
  Eric: I just glanced over at this church sign and the church sign said, and I quote, too hot to keep changing sign Jesus good sin, bad Details within.
• 2:18
  Eric: Inquire within that's good, it broke me.
• 2:21
  Eric: It broke me when I saw Jesus.
• 2:23
  Eric: Good sin is bad.
• 2:25
  Eric: Details within.
• 2:27
  Eric: Details within and the layers there because the details within the church, within yourself, within Christ, you know what.
• 2:34
  Eric: It's open to interpretation.
• 2:36
  Eric: It's open into interpretation, which is what a good church sign should do, which brings me to a kind of sort of follow-up.
• 2:42
  Eric: Alyssa, just a few minutes ago, before I was coming up to record the podcast, she was like Ooh, you should ask Matt this.
• 2:48
  Eric: Okay, if you had the church of Matt, church of?
• 2:52
  Eric: Matt and I had the church of Eric Uh-huh.
• 2:53
  Eric: What would our signs say?
• 2:55
  Matt: So, first of all, we wouldn't have one unified church, we'd be two different churches.
• 3:00
  Eric: Oh, we can have a unified church because we can take turns on sign duty.
• 3:03
  Matt: The Church of Udaft.
• 3:04
  Matt: The Church of Udaft.
• 3:06
  Matt: Yes, no, we can do better than that.
• 3:11
  Eric: In the name of the Matthew, the Poach and the Holy Centaur.
• 3:14
  Matt: Our Immaculate Podcast.
• 3:16
  Eric: Our Immaculate Podcast.
• 3:20
  Matt: Immaculate Heart of Udaft.
• 3:22
  Eric: The Latter Day Podcasts.
• 3:23
  Eric: The Latter Day Podcasts yes, yeah, immaculate heart of your deft.
• 3:26
  Eric: The latter day podcasts.
• 3:28
  Eric: The latter day podcasts yes, yeah, so what gut buster signs would we come up with?
• 3:36
  Matt: Or clever.
• 3:37
  Eric: They don't have to be funny, they just have to be clever.
• 3:38
  Eric: I feel like a good one would be.
• 3:41
  Eric: Like you know, you didn't ask, but services 3 am Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
• 3:48
  Matt: You didn't ask, but but um, I don't know, I think we'd have to be very cash with it, Like have to be very cash Cause I feel like we like the key to a good sign.
• 3:57
  Eric: You want to hook them right.
• 3:58
  Eric: You want to get them into the church which are, are, are non.
• 4:02
  Eric: You know sectarian church, which are our non.
• 4:08
  Eric: You know sectarian church.
• 4:09
  Eric: You know what I mean.
• 4:10
  Eric: We're not like, we're not, we're not, we're not championing a specific religion here, other than you know our podcast, false idols and all that yeah, we could say something like we don't have commandments, but we do have a fellowship hall cappuccino inside, you know oh, sell them on the perks.
• 4:25
  Eric: Sell them like ac clean bathrooms, cushioned chairs, down to chill down down to chill that's just that's it down to chill?
• 4:37
  Matt: I don't know if I've told this on this, the podcast before, but a number of years ago at this point I was back in Lancaster for Christmas and it was one of, if not the last, year that my mom not my dad, he gave up on that a long time ago.
• 4:53
  Matt: But my mom went to church with me and Lindsay for Christmas Eve and there's a new priest I think I've talked about this before so I apologize, but he's I don't know his name, he's not Monsignor Yutz.
• 5:09
  Matt: Still got that new priest smell.
• 5:11
  Matt: He's got that new priest smell, but he has a very different aura about him.
• 5:16
  Matt: Like all my life going to, you know, christmas Eve mass.
• 5:22
  Matt: We always go to like the like four o'clock, you know, yeah, but you got to get there at like three to get to get seats.
• 5:32
  Eric: There's no hell like Christmas mass standing room.
• 5:36
  Matt: No, I've never once stood for a mass.
• 5:39
  Eric: Nor I, frannie Mae, frannie Mae Poach would never, no, no, no, no, no.
• 5:44
  Matt: And so we would be back there.
• 5:46
  Matt: Right, we got in there, we sat down, but in the previous incarnation, when Monsignor Yutz, who I famously have talked about, Monsignor.
• 5:54
  Matt: Yutz.
• 5:54
  Matt: I saw him in a Hawaiian shirt and everything.
• 5:56
  Matt: He had this like whatever the robes are, he had this like this robe with all these like cartoon, like smiling kids.
• 6:04
  Matt: And he had this like um, this robe with all these like cartoon, like smiling kids, and he only wore it for christmas eve mass.
• 6:09
  Matt: Because he did like he.
• 6:09
  Matt: He had a big picture book, he'd call up all the kids and he'd tell the story of christmas or whatever at the front of the altar.
• 6:16
  Matt: And it was genuine, genuinely like nice.
• 6:18
  Matt: And it was also nice for me in a way, because, like I did that when I was very little, like I went up to monsignor yotes's like story time thing and then was witnessing kids, like as in my 20s, like, yeah, being like, oh, I used to do that like this is a weird full circle moment, yeah, so, like christmas eve mass, like you know, all religious aspects aside, it was like, uh, I didn't want to go in, you know, once I was going back to lancaster, but once I was there, I was like, oh, this is a weird, like an interesting moment of introspection of like oh, I look that's memories from your childhood being full circle well, it's like literally, like that's where I was and this is where I am, like it's an interesting moment.
• 7:02
  Matt: Monsignor yutz retired a number of years ago and who took his place?
• 7:06
  Matt: I don't know, I don't think he's dead.
• 7:09
  Matt: You just kiss the sky.
• 7:10
  Matt: I don't think he's dead.
• 7:11
  Matt: I think he's just living with christ somewhere.
• 7:14
  Eric: He's just lounging on.
• 7:15
  Eric: What do you retired priests do?
• 7:18
  Matt: I don't know, I don't know, uh, but anyway he, um, I don't know, but anyway he, I don't know, I'll call.
• 7:23
  Eric: We'll get him as a guest.
• 7:24
  Eric: Oh my God, if we could pull Monsignor Yutz, monsignor Yutz.
• 7:29
  Matt: Anyway, if he's alive, if he's alive.
• 7:32
  Matt: I'm sure he listens to the podcast.
• 7:34
  Matt: Big ups to you, Monsignor Yutz Big ups.
• 7:40
  Matt: So, anyway, this guy comes in.
• 7:43
  Matt: It is like I'm serious, it's like 3.40 for the four o'clock mass and he says we got a full house, let's go Love him.
• 7:55
  Matt: He comes in and Eric, I shit you not.
• 7:58
  Matt: He was like we've got three of these masses today.
• 8:03
  Matt: I'm not fucking around.
• 8:05
  Matt: He probably it was probably 35 minutes max, like he was zooming those peace by with yous came up so quick.
• 8:15
  Matt: Everyone was taken aback.
• 8:17
  Matt: Everyone was like whoa, I'm not prepared to shake anyone's hand.
• 8:21
  Matt: Aren't we going to have the kids up?
• 8:23
  Matt: No, fuck them kids, he said.
• 8:26
  Eric: But not like that.
• 8:28
  Matt: Notably not like that, not like that, not like that, not like that.
• 8:32
  Matt: I am not outing anyone here, I am not reporting any news as far as I know, my church back home is scandal free as far as I know.
• 8:41
  Matt: I confessed to priests and had no issue.
• 8:45
  Matt: Okay, okay.
• 8:45
  Matt: By the way this cold open has taken a weird turn.
• 8:50
  Matt: Yeah, let's open this up.
• 8:51
  Matt: You said you were raised Catholic.
• 8:53
  Matt: Yeah, have you been confirmed?
• 8:57
  Eric: Yeah, Did you make it to?
• 8:59
  Matt: confirmation.
• 9:00
  Eric: I had communion.
• 9:01
  Eric: Did you get to confession?
• 9:03
  Eric: Did you ever confess?
• 9:04
  Eric: I did confession for communion, really yeah.
• 9:08
  Matt: Okay, so did you ever, ever have any actual things to confess, though if you only confessed, I was like 12.
• 9:14
  Matt: That's what I mean.
• 9:15
  Eric: Yeah, I confessed stealing a plastic emerald gem from Disney World when I was a kid.
• 9:22
  Eric: I think I told that story on this podcast.
• 9:25
  Matt: Let's cut right to it.
• 9:25
  Matt: You ever confess about masturbating.
• 9:28
  Eric: No, goodness no.
• 9:30
  Eric: I did.
• 9:30
  Eric: That's my special sin, I did.
• 9:33
  Matt: And when you do, when you do, okay, so I did.
• 9:37
  Matt: It was, you know, teens, you know 14, whatever.
• 9:40
  Matt: And so, like I can't believe, I summoned this up, but like it's like you got to build up to it, Like you're like, yeah, you know, I stole some bread from school, whatever, Like I'm Jean Valjean and so you're doing all these little ones, and then you're like you know, I masturbate from time to time, Time to time.
• 10:09
  Eric: You try to sneak it in.
• 10:11
  Eric: Father, I have known myself in the biblical sense.
• 10:14
  Matt: As if the priest is going to be like.
• 10:16
  Eric: What was that that brings me to?
• 10:19
  Eric: Here's what I got for a sign.
• 10:21
  Eric: You pull around the corner.
• 10:23
  Eric: There's the Daft Church of Latter-day Podcasts.
• 10:26
  Eric: There it is.
• 10:27
  Eric: Sign yes, just says shouldn't you be in church right now?
• 10:34
  Matt: That's it.
• 10:35
  Matt: That's your play out that you built to yeah.
• 10:40
  Matt: Yeah, we should have stuck with the tangent.
• 10:42
  Matt: Well, hello everybody and welcome to our Christianity podcast.
• 11:04
  Matt: Just kidding, it's, you Didn't Ask For this the podcast answering life's least pressing questions.
• 11:10
  Matt: My name is Matt Shea, my name's Eric Poach, and also with you and also with your spirit, yeah, I can adapt.
• 11:16
  Matt: Okay, okay, okay, okay Can't teach an old church new tricks In this church of Latter day Adaphs, what would we?
• 11:26
  Eric: what would our be, and also with you what would be our handshake moment?
• 11:29
  Matt: First of all, I don't want a handshake moment.
• 11:30
  Matt: I don't want to touch anybody.
• 11:31
  Matt: I don't want to make anybody else touch you.
• 11:32
  Matt: Weird, too, weird Ooh.
• 11:34
  Matt: Instead of a collection bin, right, when it comes time for collection, to beg for money when we pass around the basket, instead of putting things into the basket.
• 11:44
  Matt: What if the basket just full of like candy little treats just?
• 11:48
  Eric: candy, oh, and then, and then, like everyone takes out a piece of candy but then they can like, he's like, yeah, I gotta grab it quick, and then like the piece be with you, can just be everyone like doing like little candy trades.
• 11:59
  Matt: They're like, oh, yeah, oh yo, you want to reseal candy trick?
• 12:02
  Matt: Yeah, eric.
• 12:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 12:02
  Matt: Eric, let's invent a religion.
• 12:05
  Eric: Let's invent a religion, let's get that done.
• 12:06
  Matt: Not this episode.
• 12:07
  Matt: We had a plan.
• 12:08
  Eric: No, let's get that tax exemption.
• 12:10
  Matt: We've already fucked that plan.
• 12:12
  Matt: But you know, yeah, somebody ask us to make a religion and we'll do it.
• 12:17
  Eric: Yeah.
• 12:18
  Matt: But you have to ask, you have to ask, and, and so we like for free doesn't count.
• 12:27
  Matt: If we do it, we have to get, we have to be called, we have to be called.
• 12:28
  Matt: You know, and that's what they say.
• 12:29
  Matt: You know, sometimes people get a calling and we need you to provide our calling so you can call the thought line, call the thought line at 410-929-5329 and we'll we'll be called.
• 12:42
  Matt: Listen, we got a lot of stuff to get to in this episode.
• 12:45
  Matt: I mean, we got content in this episode that we threw together roughly 20 minutes ago, but we but we have to begin with multiple circle back follow-ups because, also, eric, I am realizing in this moment, we have to address a bingo square as well, which we didn't talk about pre pre-show.
• 13:03
  Matt: Oh, we do.
• 13:05
  Matt: What bingo square we do?
• 13:06
  Matt: We'll talk about it in a minute, okay, so first of all, we did first circle back follow-up.
• 13:11
  Matt: We got a email that I think we need to address, eric, would you like to read it to the people?
• 13:18
  Eric: This is this is an email from good friend of the pod, uh juniper.
• 13:23
  Eric: Thanks for writing in juniper uh, if you recall a little while back, uh, we bestowed a knighthood onto juniper first, first night of this podcast.
• 13:33
  Eric: First night of the podcast, juniper and juniper wrote to us and said my lords, matthew and eric, I was pleased to be bestowed with an honorable knighthood of the sun and of mathematics.
• 13:44
  Eric: Apparently in June, episode 92, gritty Ask Gallagher, and then, in true knightly fashion, they linked to the pot Like this is such a well-crafted email.
• 13:55
  Matt: I was just going to say I have to pause.
• 13:56
  Matt: Juniper provided a link to our own podcast episode, as if we would have to be like hold on.
• 14:06
  Matt: We said what.
• 14:09
  Eric: Let's go.
• 14:12
  Eric: Anyway, continue.
• 14:13
  Eric: It's the podcast night equivalent of God Save the King.
• 14:17
  Eric: I have been woefully delayed in extending my sincere gratitude, due, unfortunately, to life and shit, and also with your spirit Trust that I have carried it in my heart all this time and I am prepared to protect the honor of the podcast at any moment.
• 14:35
  Matt: Yes, juniper, yes, thank you, juniper.
• 14:37
  Matt: And you know what?
• 14:38
  Matt: That would have been enough right there, that would have been enough, but yet the message continues.
• 14:44
  Eric: Howe'er, I must point out that in episode 88, it's Raining Libertarians also linked the podcast.
• 14:52
  Matt: Which is the episode where the neat cast joined us.
• 14:54
  Matt: In case you need the, reference.
• 14:57
  Eric: I must point out that in episode 88, it's Raining Libertarians.
• 14:59
  Eric: The first person to solve the train riddle was promised free swag, possibly a custom harmonica.
• 15:07
  Eric: In fact, poach gave a pinky swear which I believe is legally binding in the podcast realm.
• 15:14
  Eric: My lords, I must entreat you to fulfill your promises to your people and in particular me.
• 15:20
  Eric: You may remit swag to and gave us a dress, signs off with a bow and a flourish Juniper PS.
• 15:30
  Eric: I must also compliment Eric's lovely falsetto in his heartfelt rendition of Angel.
• 15:36
  Eric: Rest in peace, jer.
• 15:37
  Matt: Yes, which Juniper Bringing back multiple bits, bringing back multiple bits From 10 episodes ago, and Matt.
• 15:47
  Eric: I appreciate this email for so many.
• 15:50
  Eric: For one, sir Juniper came so correct, like all proper forms of address.
• 16:00
  Eric: But also Matt reminded us of our.
• 16:03
  Eric: We can make knights.
• 16:07
  Eric: We are we can.
• 16:09
  Matt: We've only made one, but we can make more.
• 16:11
  Matt: But do we?
• 16:13
  Eric: not have a responsibility.
• 16:14
  Eric: To our bannerman, yeah, to our our men of foot and horse, I'd say so.
• 16:20
  Eric: Juniper, sir, juniper, rightly so, has not so much thrown a gauntlet but like, gently, like, put, like put a post-it note picture of a gauntlet right like at our feet, says oh hey, I'm a knight, remember there's a gauntlet, I remember there is a gauntlet.
• 16:37
  Eric: And you, you have a duty to your, to your knights and it'd be a shame if someone had to throw it it'd be a real shame terrible terrible shame if someone had to throw this down right, shame, my lord, raw shame.
• 16:52
  Eric: Um so, juniper, a thank you for reminding us of our, of our duty.
• 16:57
  Eric: Not that we forgot.
• 16:58
  Eric: Not that we forgot.
• 16:59
  Eric: No, not that we forgot something we said on this podcast.
• 17:02
  Eric: No, not not that we forgot.
• 17:03
  Eric: We were merely.
• 17:04
  Eric: This was a test and you passed.
• 17:07
  Matt: It is a test and you passed.
• 17:08
  Matt: And listen, here's what I'll say.
• 17:11
  Matt: We did say some shit, then we promptly forgot it, but you, Juniper, the first night of Yadaft, were right to remind us and I will say this this is a true story.
• 17:23
  Matt: We have been having active conversations about getting merch going.
• 17:28
  Matt: Yes, In fact, I'll peel back the curtain.
• 17:32
  Eric: The whole way.
• 17:33
  Eric: Oh shit, expose them, expose them, matthew.
• 17:36
  Matt: We were talking about launching merch for episode 100.
• 17:39
  Matt: Yeah, some things have happened.
• 17:41
  Matt: We will be launching something for episode 100, but not merch, so there's a little bit of a teaser for you, but we will be getting merch before long.
• 17:53
  Eric: And Juniper, you have not been forgotten, your service has not been in vain.
• 18:00
  Matt: It has not been in vain, it has not been for aught.
• 18:02
  Matt: It has not been in vain, it has not been for aught.
• 18:05
  Matt: When we get merch going, we will make sure to get you a code that gets you a free, whatever the fuck you want.
• 18:16
  Matt: But beyond that, eric, because Juniper did send us an address here, I think maybe we will look into that harmonica.
• 18:22
  Eric: Maybe, I think, juniper, first among knights, first among knights, has more than earned a custom harmonica Blast among sinners.
• 18:31
  Eric: We will look into getting you a one-of-a-kind merch item, and we thank thee for reminding us of our duty.
• 18:42
  Matt: We thank thee.
• 18:43
  Matt: Now, I said that was not our only Circleback follow-up.
• 18:47
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 18:47
  Matt: We have more.
• 18:48
  Matt: And before we get to the scheduled one, eric, I'm realizing that, as we're recording this episode, in about half an hour, the Olympic closing ceremonies will be taking place.
• 18:58
  Matt: It's already over, yes, it's already over, fuck.
• 19:02
  Matt: And so, as many of you know, we had two Olympic-related bingo squares for this year's bingo.
• 19:08
  Matt: The first will knock out right away.
• 19:10
  Matt: It was Rwanda will win their first ever medal.
• 19:15
  Eric: They didn't, they super did not, I'm pulling for them, I'm pulling for them next time Didn't even come close, so they're out of it.
• 19:23
  Matt: The other one, so that's a big red square for everybody.
• 19:26
  Matt: However, we do, I think, have a green square.
• 19:32
  Matt: We had another square, for the US will lead all medals and gold medals and, my friends, the United States absolutely wiped the goddamn floor in terms of all medals 126 is our total count.
• 19:51
  Matt: The closest was China with 91.
• 19:55
  Matt: Not even close, realistically, honestly, not even close.
• 20:00
  Matt: But then, eric, we do have a problem because it was would lead in all medals and gold medals.
• 20:05
  Matt: That was the square.
• 20:06
  Matt: It's gotta be.
• 20:06
  Matt: Both did we lead in gold medals.
• 20:08
  Matt: The us and china are tied at the end of the olympics with 40 gold medals a piece.
• 20:18
  Matt: 40 gold medals a piece.
• 20:20
  Matt: I think it's only fair, with a tie, to consider silver as the tiebreaker.
• 20:27
  Matt: What do you think, eric?
• 20:29
  Eric: I would take silver as the tiebreaker because, man, yeah, because we got, oh, I would accept.
• 20:34
  Matt: In that case it's 44 to 27.
• 20:37
  Matt: Usa baby USA.
• 20:40
  Eric: USA, usa USA.
• 20:41
  Matt: USA.
• 20:44
  Eric: It wouldn't be an Olympics without technicalities coming into play, absolutely so with that folks, everybody, light up that green green bingo square.
• 20:54
  Matt: So we've got.
• 20:55
  Matt: We lost one, we won one.
• 20:57
  Eric: That's your bingo update do you know what I didn't have on my bingo card for the Olympics?
• 21:01
  Eric: Tell me France taking all three medals for BMX.
• 21:06
  Eric: Eric, did you watch some of the Olympics?
• 21:09
  Eric: I watched two events.
• 21:12
  Matt: I'm shocked at that, because you got into soccer after all.
• 21:15
  Matt: I thought you would have watched some of the Olympics soccer it sounds like you didn't.
• 21:19
  Eric: I did not.
• 21:19
  Eric: I watched BMX because Alyssa was like they're doing BMX in the Olympics for the first time.
• 21:25
  Eric: We're watching it and I'm like cool.
• 21:27
  Eric: And then I watched second time.
• 21:28
  Eric: I watched women's three by three basketball, which was really fucking cool.
• 21:35
  Eric: I watched US versus Canada, which was like neck and neck, and that was really intense.
• 21:41
  Matt: What I love about the Olympics is watching sports you would never watch in any other context.
• 21:46
  Matt: No, but you feel so vehemently proud of it.
• 21:52
  Matt: Yes.
• 21:53
  Eric: God yes.
• 21:55
  Matt: Neither of us obviously ever had the mentality to be an Olympic athlete.
• 21:59
  Matt: No, Forget about the physical skill and talent I mean because you have to sacrifice your whole goddamn childhood.
• 22:05
  Eric: It has to become your entire identity in your life.
• 22:07
  Matt: It has to be everything you have to eat, breathe, drink it, yes, every day, day in, day out, and so I don't know I have such a.
• 22:15
  Matt: I love watching the Olympics because everybody is like this is, and even when there's an embarrassing moment or whatever.
• 22:23
  Matt: I don't know if you saw the pole vaulter who was disqualified because of his giant cock.
• 22:28
  Matt: Wait, really.
• 22:29
  Eric: I'm sorry.
• 22:30
  Matt: Excuse me.
• 22:31
  Matt: Yeah, there was an unfortunate pole vaulter who got his old junk stuck on the pole there, and you know you hate?
• 22:40
  Eric: to see it.
• 22:40
  Matt: You hate to see it used as a handicap.
• 22:43
  Eric: What a good problem to have.
• 22:45
  Matt: I mean surely put that on your hinge profile.
• 22:49
  Matt: But like you know Olympic dream, you know you do these reps over and over again.
• 22:54
  Matt: And then Olympic dreams crushed by one bad thing.
• 22:59
  Eric: The curse of this massive hog.
• 23:02
  Matt: Yeah, and I'm just sitting on my couch like, oh, what a shame.
• 23:05
  Matt: I feel so bad.
• 23:06
  Matt: But at the same time, when there's other olympians who are not us based and they do like a little teeter-totter on the balance beam, I'm like pathetic yeah, you got.
• 23:19
  Eric: Yeah, you got to, you got it.
• 23:21
  Eric: When it comes the olympics is the Olympics is like the safest place.
• 23:26
  Eric: I feel just going so fucking hard for my country.
• 23:30
  Eric: Yeah, it's the entire point of the Olympics.
• 23:32
  Matt: I am full body, like shouting, cheering when Simone Biles is out there doing her thing and then she finishes and I'm like you look happy, so I think you killed it, like you know, I got no idea.
• 23:48
  Eric: I have no context for what any of this is.
• 23:50
  Eric: Also, I'll tell you what I'm impressed.
• 23:53
  Matt: I'm impressed you impress this judge Simone.
• 23:57
  Eric: I'm sitting there with, like fucking shoveling another McDouble into my face Just trying to get my colors Like, oh, watching, oh watching, watching.
• 24:04
  Matt: Like the new zealand athletes like, oh, that was sloppy I well, this year was so different because of the swimming competitions in the sen and people were worried about e coli.
• 24:14
  Eric: Oh, I know it's so goddamn funny to me, but um also quick shout out to aman khalif for taking gold in boxing yeah.
• 24:22
  Eric: After all of that fucking bullshit, nonsense, non-issue, non-controversial, like anything.
• 24:31
  Matt: So dumb Katie Ledecky also you killed it.
• 24:34
  Matt: So many people that don't listen to the podcast will congratulate separately.
• 24:39
  Eric: Also another thing I realized I didn't have on my bingo card for the Olympics Mm-hmm.
• 24:44
  Eric: Also another thing I realized I didn't have on my bingo card for the Olympics.
• 24:45
  Eric: Didn't anticipate Australia doing so badly at breakdancing that it is no longer going to be an Olympic event.
• 24:52
  Matt: Well, I was going to say, did like people were all.
• 24:55
  Eric: I've been reading up on the backstory.
• 24:57
  Matt: Oh no, you've got to watch the clip.
• 24:58
  Matt: Oh, I've seen.
• 25:00
  Eric: Oh, I've seen, I saw it.
• 25:01
  Eric: That's why I say technically I saw three, because I watched it on TikTok.
• 25:05
  Matt: So many people were like why is breakdancing an Olympic sport?
• 25:09
  Matt: And I'm not trying to get into the debate of whether or not it's a sport, I'm just saying this Australian breakdancer might have killed the event.
• 25:19
  Eric: Yeah.
• 25:21
  Matt: It was so bad might have killed it in one go.
• 25:25
  Eric: I, I, I do think they've, they've actually confirmed that.
• 25:28
  Eric: Uh, I, I'm, I forget where they're hosting it in this.
• 25:31
  Matt: This was about los angeles.
• 25:33
  Eric: Los angeles coming home yeah, coming home, home, baby, uh.
• 25:37
  Eric: But yeah, they're like break dancing won't be there, I don't think so I don't know it and which is a shame hey how about we get an Olympic event for podcasting, sean?
• 25:46
  Matt: Olympic podcasting, olympic podcasting, think about it, think about it, think about it.
• 25:53
  Matt: Okay, we got to move on.
• 25:55
  Matt: We're burning time here, so we have yet another Circleback follow-up and that is related to our request for your requests for what you want to hear us do in a pilot voice, and we got them from you daft giants.
• 26:14
  Matt: We got two of them one from Sarah Feldman and one from our attorney, carissa Hatfield, representation of you daft, legally both former guests of the show, and they both.
• 26:25
  Matt: They both provided the following.
• 26:29
  Eric: Now I was actually gonna say should we say what was requested or should we just start doing it in the pilot voice and let people figure out what the fuck we're doing?
• 26:38
  Eric: I think that one.
• 26:39
  Matt: Okay, you do the first one, I'll do.
• 26:42
  Eric: I'll do the first one I'll do the second one I I was hoping that would be the case.
• 26:45
  Eric: This is going to take so much time.
• 26:49
  Eric: Oh, this is going to take so much time, but, babies, it's worth it.
• 26:52
  Eric: Yes, I'm ready to go.
• 26:53
  Eric: Go for it.
• 26:54
  Eric: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
• 26:58
  Eric: It's 2.42 on a beautiful Sunday afternoon in Maryland Today.
• 27:05
  Eric: You're going to go ahead and grab one cup salted butter softened, one cup granulated sugar, one cup light brown sugar packed, two teaspoons pure vanilla extract, two large eggs, three cups all-purpose flour Don't forget that one teaspoon baking soda, half a teaspoon baking powder, one teaspoon diesel, two cups chocolate chip- so, if you look under your seats, you'll start preheating your oven to 375 Fahrenheit.
• 27:31
  Eric: In a medium bowl found in the overhead compartment, you'll grab some baking soda, baking powder and salt.
• 27:36
  Eric: Set aside Cream together, butter and sugar until combined.
• 27:40
  Eric: Beat in eggs and vanilla until light about one minute.
• 27:43
  Eric: Now you're going to mix your dry ingredients until combined.
• 27:44
  Eric: Add eggs and vanilla until light about one minute.
• 27:46
  Eric: Now you're gonna mix your dry ingredients till combined.
• 27:47
  Eric: Add chocolate chips and mix well.
• 27:48
  Eric: Now, around this time today, you're gonna start rolling two to three tablespoons, depending on how large, like cookies of dough at a time into balls and place them evenly spaced in your prepared cookie sheets.
• 27:58
  Eric: Bake and preheat the oven for approximately eight to ten minutes.
• 28:01
  Eric: Take them out when they're just barely start.
• 28:04
  Eric: Let them sit in the baking pan before moving to a cooling rack all right, y'all take it easy, we'll have a good cookie thank you, captain, thank you very good very good.
• 28:15
  Matt: Um, it should be clear, I think, what that is.
• 28:18
  Matt: But, um, you know mine, you may or may not get right away.
• 28:23
  Matt: But again, the actual request I just want to say was to say the entirety of this.
• 28:28
  Matt: For the sake of time.
• 28:36
  Matt: I'm going to say I'm going to do a selection of it, but the rest of it I'll do it all now, but we'll put the rest of it maybe after the credits, if you're so inclined.
• 28:50
  Matt: How does that sound to you, pudge?
• 28:51
  Matt: That sounds perfect, babe.
• 28:53
  Matt: All right, let's get it.
• 28:54
  Matt: Shall we get into it?
• 28:55
  Matt: Let's get into it.
• 28:55
  Matt: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
• 29:00
  Matt: Thank you so much for flying.
• 29:02
  Matt: You're daft, eh yeah, we're approaching BWI and I, just as we start our ground, descent.
• 29:08
  Matt: I just thought this would be a good time to mention that I am not throwing away my shot Again, just in case I didn't come through.
• 29:15
  Matt: I am not throwing away my shot.
• 29:17
  Matt: You know, I'm just like my country.
• 29:20
  Matt: You know I'm young.
• 29:21
  Matt: I'm scrappy Hungry.
• 29:23
  Matt: I'm not throwing away my shot.
• 29:24
  Matt: You see, travelers, I got a scholarship there to King's College.
• 29:29
  Matt: I probably shouldn't brag, but dang, I am amazed and astonished.
• 29:33
  Matt: You see, the problem is I got a lot of brains but also no polish, and so I got to holler just to.
• 29:44
  Matt: I don't know.
• 29:44
  Matt: I'm going to go ahead and say be heard with every word and I drop knowledge.
• 29:46
  Matt: I am a diamond in the rough.
• 29:48
  Matt: That's a fact.
• 29:49
  Matt: What's also a fact is that a shiny piece of coal trying to reach my goal, my power speech, it's going to go ahead and be unimpeachable.
• 29:56
  Matt: Only 19, but mind my mind's older.
• 30:01
  Matt: Yes, these New York City streets again we are in maryland, but um, these new york city streets, they get colder, and I shoulder every burden, every disadvantage.
• 30:12
  Matt: I have learned to manage.
• 30:16
  Matt: I don't have a gun to brandish.
• 30:19
  Matt: I walk these streets again, we're in the air, famished.
• 30:22
  Matt: The plan is to fan this spark right on into a big old flame there.
• 30:29
  Matt: Uh, none of the engines, though, don't worry.
• 30:32
  Matt: I don't want to cause any kind of concern or distress, but, damn, it's getting dark.
• 30:37
  Matt: So let me spell out my name it's a-l-e-x-a-n-d-e-r.
• 30:42
  Matt: We are meant to be a colony that runs independently.
• 30:47
  Matt: Meanwhile, britain keeps shitting on us endlessly.
• 30:53
  Matt: Essentially they, they tax us relentlessly.
• 30:58
  Matt: And then King George turns around, runs the big old spending spree there.
• 31:04
  Matt: He ain't never gonna set his descendants free.
• 31:07
  Matt: I think that's should be clear to everybody, including rochelle, who will be coming around with your trash once again to to collect.
• 31:17
  Matt: So, uh, there will be a revolution in this century.
• 31:20
  Matt: Um, enter me, which it should be clear.
• 31:23
  Eric: I said in parentheses okay, I think that should be the cut that that is the part one that you people have been given, and if you want to earn that part two uh, you want the second half of this privilege.
• 31:38
  Eric: You're just gonna have to keep listening now.
• 31:40
  Eric: That being said, that all said.
• 31:43
  Matt: I think it's time that we move on to a question.
• 31:45
  Eric: And our question comes from our good friend at Caitlin Asaurus on Instagram.
• 31:51
  Eric: Her question is what's the proper etiquette for walking in on someone in the bathroom?
• 31:56
  Eric: Ignore it forever.
• 31:57
  Eric: Bring it up.
• 31:58
  Matt: Make a joke.
• 31:59
  Matt: Now.
• 31:59
  Matt: I think when you say, walk in on someone, this has to be specifically like you've seen things you're not supposed to see.
• 32:07
  Matt: It's not just doors locked no, and you were like oh, occupied.
• 32:12
  Matt: It's not that.
• 32:13
  Eric: No, you have walked into the room with purpose, full stride the door and there they are sitting pants around ankles, kibbles and bits out.
• 32:24
  Eric: They are sitting pants around ankles, kibbles and bits out.
• 32:25
  Eric: Kibbles and bit Malcolm and Donald Bain just out on them out on the moors of Scotland.
• 32:33
  Eric: Yeah, and you both have made, have now made you both like you both look and make eye contact.
• 32:39
  Eric: What do you do?
• 32:41
  Eric: Yeah, I know so, so we're going to talk about what you should do.
• 32:44
  Eric: What do you do?
• 32:44
  Eric: Yeah, I know so, so we're going to talk about what you should do.
• 32:47
  Eric: I'm going to talk to you what, what I do, just like how my body reflects If I'm the person like walking in.
• 32:53
  Eric: Here's what I do, I.
• 32:54
  Eric: The first thing to occur is that a sound escapes my body and it is my brain trying to distill feelings of shame, guilt, deepest apologies and empathy and understanding, because I've been where they have been, sure, and it comes out a little something like this I think my usual response is something to the effect of oh, oh, oh.
• 33:21
  Matt: Usually oh oh, oh, like it's the beginning of an oops.
• 33:26
  Eric: Yeah, I can't.
• 33:27
  Eric: I've.
• 33:27
  Eric: Every time this has happened, I've been utterly incapable of completing the word it's.
• 33:32
  Eric: I just let it just die.
• 33:33
  Eric: I'm like oh.
• 33:35
  Matt: I would say that some a tactic I normally employ, and I don't know if this is to say that this is the proper etiquette, but if you're, if it's a situation where you got to wait outside the door, right, I'm not doing that.
• 33:49
  Matt: No I leave the premises, Go back to your seat and at minimum you got to let one other person go.
• 33:57
  Matt: So no one can point the finger at you, except for everyone else in the restaurant.
• 34:03
  Eric: You got to buffer that shit.
• 34:04
  Eric: And if I in my periphery I pick up anyone coming from the bathroom area, I do not look up, I do not.
• 34:12
  Eric: The last thing I want to do is for us to make eye contact again after that has happened.
• 34:17
  Matt: Yeah, now, if you know the person, then perhaps the make a joke suggestion can come into play.
• 34:24
  Eric: Oh, that's rife yeah, but that.
• 34:29
  Matt: But well, it depends.
• 34:30
  Matt: I think, eric, it depends on how well you know this person.
• 34:32
  Matt: If they are your friend, okay.
• 34:35
  Matt: What if it's your co-worker?
• 34:36
  Matt: What if this happened at work?
• 34:38
  Eric: oh god, if it's my, if it's my co-worker, I'll be carrying that with me for like weeks.
• 34:45
  Matt: Well, the first thing, first things first.
• 34:46
  Matt: I think at work you need to find what is your preferred bathroom.
• 34:52
  Matt: Yep, because you do have one, you do have one, and once you have one, I reckon you also have a preferred time where you think you can go in and kind of be undisturbed.
• 35:04
  Eric: Yep, to kill a good 40 minutes in there which means you are at your most vulnerable when this absolutely yeah yeah, yeah, that's true if you're the victim you're, you're your most vulnerable, for sure, if it's a co-worker and, uh, I'm trying to think if it's ever happened with a coworker, blessedly no, it's a coworker.
• 35:27
  Eric: Like what you?
• 35:27
  Eric: You can't.
• 35:28
  Eric: You have to acknowledge it in some way.
• 35:32
  Eric: The next like, like and I think it's a laugh at all, it's it.
• 35:37
  Eric: For me personally, it will.
• 35:38
  Eric: It will steep in despair in my heart until I have just poked that little hole in the balloon and let some of the air out of it.
• 35:47
  Eric: So what's your joke?
• 35:48
  Eric: Oh my, oh see, now this won't be in the moment.
• 35:50
  Eric: In the moment it'll just be like oh, but later, when we see each other even though I have done nothing wrong, because I'm not the one who fucking failed to lock the door um, right, but I will apologize.
• 36:04
  Eric: I was like.
• 36:04
  Eric: I was like hey, sorry about that man.
• 36:06
  Eric: You know, we've all been there like that.
• 36:07
  Eric: I hit him with that hit him with one of those like hey, you know, well, you should knock I think, first of all, first and foremost, you should not.
• 36:13
  Matt: But sometimes you're in your own head, you don't think about it, and they should lock the door.
• 36:18
  Matt: It's a, it's a two-way street here.
• 36:20
  Eric: Yeah, I put I put work.
• 36:21
  Eric: I've never knocked on a work bathroom because I put it in the same.
• 36:25
  Eric: It's like a public bathroom to me like and these aren't doors that like stay like I have to open the door to go in.
• 36:31
  Eric: Yeah I.
• 36:33
  Eric: I hit him with a like hey man, yeah, that was everybody.
• 36:38
  Eric: Don't worry about hit him.
• 36:39
  Eric: Maybe if, depending on how good of a co-worker or how good you feel about making the joke, maybe hit him with a.
• 36:44
  Eric: I got caught with your pants down, eh, hey.
• 36:49
  Matt: But that's coworker.
• 36:51
  Matt: What if it's the boss, the CEO, if it's your?
• 36:54
  Eric: boss.
• 36:54
  Eric: If it's your boss, honestly, you have just been given so much.
• 36:59
  Eric: You've just been given such a powerful boost.
• 37:02
  Eric: Do you think like you've just been given such a powerful boost.
• 37:04
  Eric: You've you've seen.
• 37:05
  Eric: It's kind of it's.
• 37:06
  Eric: I mean when I say powerful boost, maybe not in terms of like you're, not nothing tangibles is benefiting you out of this, but internally in your mind.
• 37:15
  Eric: You and them both know now, I've seen you, dog.
• 37:19
  Eric: I've seen you.
• 37:20
  Eric: Yeah, homie, I have seen you with your pants around your ankles, butt to the wind, reaching for that teepee.
• 37:27
  Eric: So maybe we do need to talk about my merit increase.
• 37:31
  Matt: Maybe we do need to revisit my latest evaluation.
• 37:35
  Matt: Maybe I'm not coming in on Saturday.
• 37:37
  Matt: Yeah, maybe I'm not.
• 37:40
  Matt: Yeah, because we wouldn't want people to know about that tattoo you got down there.
• 37:44
  Eric: huh, now this I think this is malicious etiquette, yeah we don't want to get malicious with it, but like mostly, it's just like dog.
• 37:53
  Eric: I've seen the emperor without his clothes.
• 37:56
  Matt: Yeah, I think the etiquette can be as simple as that right Like for a boss, for somebody above you, and and that beyond work.
• 38:06
  Matt: Right like, if it's I don't know, you're meeting your in-laws for the first time, or something you know, you're meeting your, your, your dates, parents for the first time oh man you walk in on the, the, the matriarch or patriarch of that family, accidentally.
• 38:24
  Matt: I think you have a certain something to hold on to.
• 38:28
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a little leveling of the playing field.
• 38:30
  Eric: It's like, okay, you are mortal.
• 38:32
  Matt: Yeah, you are mortal.
• 38:33
  Matt: You don't scare me anymore.
• 38:35
  Matt: I don't have to imagine you in your underwear, because I've seen you without.
• 38:38
  Eric: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take your progeny out on a date, very respectfully, and I'm going to treat them like the royalty that they are and you can just deal with it and you can just deal with that.
• 38:54
  Matt: How's that sound?
• 38:54
  Matt: I'm going to be so fucking good to them.
• 38:56
  Matt: So I think it depends on who it is, if power, if they're above you in some sort of social hierarchy you've humbled them revel.
• 39:05
  Matt: You've humbled them.
• 39:06
  Matt: I think we both know what happened here.
• 39:08
  Matt: And ignore it forever, I think is a good policy, I think that's a good etiquette for that situation.
• 39:13
  Matt: An equal, or I would say a friend like a good friend.
• 39:17
  Matt: You should joke about it, because that'll diffuse the situation, don't you know, with?
• 39:21
  Eric: oh, absolutely they gotta know.
• 39:23
  Eric: It's okay because, yeah, when it's your friend it makes it worse.
• 39:26
  Eric: If you're like acting all embarrassed and that feels like there's something to be embarrassed about, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, so you, so you dunk on him a little bit just like, let me.
• 39:35
  Matt: Let me ask you this.
• 39:35
  Matt: You walk in on me, what do you say?
• 39:38
  Eric: poop that shit.
• 39:39
  Eric: Son quoting that's my boy.
• 39:43
  Eric: Go get it.
• 39:44
  Eric: Get that shit.
• 39:45
  Eric: He's shitting.
• 39:46
  Eric: I open the door, I lean outside.
• 39:47
  Matt: He's shit I think in real life, what you would do is you would hit me with the oh sorry yep sorry, oh, hey, sorry you'd hit me with that and I'd hit you back.
• 39:56
  Matt: The unseen voice from inside the bathroom goes thank god, where have you been?
• 40:00
  Matt: That actually is great.
• 40:05
  Matt: That's a great line to say in this situation.
• 40:08
  Matt: If you're the one on the shitter you know like, if you're like finally, or hit him with a.
• 40:17
  Eric: So you're probably wondering why I asked you here.
• 40:20
  Matt: You're probably asking yourself how did I get here?
• 40:22
  Matt: Folks, this is a good time.
• 40:23
  Eric: I remember the hardest, I think me or Matt.
• 40:24
  Eric: You're probably asking yourself how did I get here?
• 40:25
  Eric: Folks, this is a good time.
• 40:26
  Eric: I, I, I remember the the hardest, I think me or Matt has ever laughed in a bathroom together.
• 40:30
  Eric: Wasn't college, oh boy.
• 40:32
  Eric: I don't know where you're going with this.
• 40:34
  Eric: I'm just trying to remember, because it's been, you know, 15 years.
• 40:38
  Eric: Oh, um, I was sitting in the bathroom stall in the cafeteria of our college, the dining hall, in the bathroom there, and I had done my business and, woefully, to my dismay, the worst thing that can possibly happen to you in a public restroom after you have just gotten your direct deposit is I was out of toilet paper and matt just so happened to be in the bathroom at the time.
• 41:09
  Eric: Uh, like you'd walked into something like oh, matt, matt, oh, thank, thank fucking god.
• 41:14
  Eric: Like, can you please?
• 41:15
  Eric: Can you please?
• 41:16
  Eric: Like I need, can you hand me, like some toilet paper?
• 41:18
  Eric: I'm out in this.
• 41:19
  Eric: Well, I didn't want to have to do that most shameful walk of shame, like you know, I mean the stand a little scuttle the the little scuttle, because it'll be a cold day in hell before I pull my underwear back up, my pants back on before I have.
• 41:30
  Eric: you know, not with that.
• 41:31
  Eric: Not with that toxic waist Before I have secured the scene.
• 41:34
  Eric: Yes, so there is a brief pause.
• 41:37
  Eric: Yeah, match.
• 41:38
  Eric: So from under the bathroom door he took an entire roll of paper towels out of the dispenser and handed that to me on the road.
• 41:56
  Eric: So it just looks like he gave me toilet paper, for fucking hill giants just handed me comically large roll of toilet paper.
• 42:08
  Eric: It was, it was, it was beautiful.
• 42:10
  Eric: That's, that's what you do with your good friends.
• 42:12
  Eric: You gotta, you gotta, you just gotta.
• 42:15
  Matt: You gotta laugh uh, yes, I remember this also.
• 42:19
  Matt: A good friend motion was um, they had a different name at the time.
• 42:24
  Matt: They're now named Brenna, but they uh, at the time we were in the same restroom there and they said to me um uh, have you, uh, have you ever tried to eat and shit at the same time, Like we're in side by side?
• 42:38
  Matt: So I was like, uh, no, I don't think so.
• 42:42
  Matt: And I was like no, I don't think so.
• 42:43
  Matt: And I was halfway through that and just a hand with a single Lay's potato chip appears underneath.
• 42:53
  Eric: Yeah, that I do live for.
• 42:56
  Eric: Oh man.
• 42:58
  Eric: Truly it's indescribable the conversations you can have with a good friend when you're both pooping at the same time side by side and stalls it's a very intimate moment like the philosopher, kings of old absolutely, that should be our new poster uh just the two of us sitting there.
• 43:16
  Matt: So, eric, what do you think?
• 43:18
  Matt: I know we got google gripes on the docket.
• 43:21
  Matt: Do you think we've answered the etiquette question?
• 43:24
  Eric: first.
• 43:25
  Eric: We've, we've, we've answered, we've answered, we have answered.
• 43:29
  Eric: Is it definitive?
• 43:30
  Eric: We'll let the people decide.
• 43:32
  Matt: Oh, we'll definitely let them decide I I think in the interest of time, because you know we've had we had multiple circle back follow-ups, I think I think this has to be another one and done and move on to one.
• 43:44
  Eric: And what say you?
• 43:44
  Eric: Let's do it, let's gripe, baby, let's gripe, so this is to close.
• 43:49
  Matt: Today we have the beginning of the final round of season four of our segment called google gripes.
• 43:57
  Matt: That's where we read each other one star google reviews that really exist of well-known places that's what it was in the past and the other person tries to guess.
• 44:09
  Matt: This season it was well-known movies, movies, movies.
• 44:15
  Matt: And so we are at a dead heat.
• 44:18
  Matt: We are all tied entering the final round of the season.
• 44:27
  Eric: And so, eric, I understand you have some gripes for me, I have some gripes and in true, uh, google gripes fashion, following the, the format that we've done before, it is a tie, it is a third round and we have agreed third round, hard mode, baby hard mode, baby hard mode.
• 44:39
  Eric: Uh.
• 44:40
  Eric: So I'm gonna start, but even then it's degrees of hard.
• 44:42
  Eric: I'm gonna start with what I believe is the easiest of the hearts and then we're going to go from there.
• 44:47
  Matt: I'm sit, I'm going to put myself.
• 44:48
  Matt: I know you're going to try to come for me, so I'm going to sit back, yeah.
• 44:52
  Matt: Sit back, just adjust my mic here so I can let these reviews wash over me and I can let the juices flow up there in the old noodle.
• 45:05
  Eric: Okay, movie 1.
• 45:05
  Eric: One star review, number 1.
• 45:06
  Eric: Blank is what you are blind to see, that you are living in, so of course this movie looks awesome.
• 45:10
  Eric: I'm sure if you would wake up you might see how government is playing God and putting common pictures in front of your face to see if you react from it.
• 45:17
  Eric: Wake up, okay.
• 45:21
  Matt: That's interesting.
• 45:22
  Matt: There's some interesting things there.
• 45:24
  Eric: Review number two.
• 45:25
  Eric: I have been ignoring this flick for a long time, but today I made up my mind and decided to give it a shot, as it has such high rating.
• 45:33
  Eric: Man, was I right?
• 45:35
  Eric: Personally, I find it a typical sci-fi action movie for kids who want to live their gaming fantasy as the protagonist.
• 45:43
  Eric: It's painfully boring Plot like a brain in a vat May excite you to watch this, but don't fall for it.
• 45:51
  Matt: Okay, I think I know what it is.
• 45:52
  Matt: Continue Review number three.
• 45:55
  Eric: This movie is overrated.
• 45:56
  Eric: The characters are poorly written and the story is boring.
• 45:59
  Eric: The only good thing I can say about this movie is the action scenes are badass, but that doesn't mean anything when you have a story that's not engaging.
• 46:05
  Eric: I know I'm going to anger a lot of people with this, but it's my opinion and I don't care what everyone else thinks.
• 46:11
  Eric: They didn't write that, but I assume they made that sound.
• 46:16
  Matt: I have written down two guesses.
• 46:18
  Eric: Okay.
• 46:19
  Matt: The first guess I wrote down with the first review.
• 46:21
  Matt: The second guess I brought up during the second review and I think is wrong.
• 46:26
  Matt: That guess that I'm not going to submit is ready.
• 46:28
  Matt: Player one.
• 46:29
  Matt: I'm going to cross that off the list.
• 46:31
  Matt: This is the matrix final answer it is the matrix.
• 46:36
  Matt: God, yes, baby, I came in hot, I came in Randy and ready to go.
• 46:40
  Eric: Okay, Okay Uh.
• 46:44
  Matt: I've taken the lead.
• 46:46
  Eric: Brings us to review uh movie number two.
• 46:49
  Matt: Yeah, and they're going to get harder, so I'm glad I knocked that one out.
• 46:52
  Matt: Review one If nothing else, I get at least a point, that's that least a point.
• 47:02
  Eric: That's.
• 47:02
  Eric: That's the important part here.
• 47:03
  Eric: Okay, review number one all right, I don't have a lot to say about this film.
• 47:05
  Eric: That's a lie except that you will not enjoy.
• 47:07
  Eric: I have a friend who's a film critic and he loves it.
• 47:10
  Eric: If you deeply analyze films and enjoy them for the deeply complex way that they use angles and the strange characters, this might be the film for you.
• 47:18
  Eric: However, if you are like me and enjoy films for at least a semi-engaging plot that has any ups and downs, do not watch.
• 47:26
  Eric: This is one of the most highly rated movies you will ever see, but the only audience that enjoys this is critics.
• 47:31
  Eric: After reading this, I encourage you to write another negative review, just so that the people who only look at the base score will see the truth.
• 47:38
  Eric: All that being said, if you know someone who fancies themselves a film critic, please recommend this to them.
• 47:43
  Eric: I would love for at least someone to enjoy a film that clearly stood the test of time.
• 47:48
  Matt: Huh.
• 47:49
  Eric: Review number two Okay, this is the worst movie I've watched.
• 47:53
  Eric: The acting was good and all but the scenes are so vague.
• 47:57
  Eric: One star I'd rather watch Shrek over this.
• 48:00
  Eric: For the people who look for great films, this is definitely not one of them.
• 48:03
  Eric: I have freedom of speech to say this Interesting, okay.
• 48:07
  Eric: Review number three I hated it.
• 48:11
  Eric: I was forced to watch it, which added to that hatred, but it was pretty much impossible for me to follow.
• 48:16
  Eric: Characters were being thrown about and half the time I had no idea if it was a flashback or something.
• 48:21
  Eric: Admittedly, it's been a while and I may rewatch in the future, but just that experience alone made me hate older movies.
• 48:27
  Eric: Okay, alright.
• 48:30
  Matt: I feel like you know what this is.
• 48:32
  Matt: I had an much like the first one.
• 48:34
  Matt: I wrote down two things within the first two sentences of your initial review.
• 48:42
  Matt: I think it's the first one For a while I was fucking with.
• 48:46
  Matt: It could be Requiem for a Dream.
• 48:48
  Matt: Then I crossed that out and I'm going with my final answer of Citizen Kane Rosebud.
• 48:55
  Matt: Yeah baby, yeah, you got it.
• 48:57
  Matt: Oh, my God.
• 48:59
  Eric: Which I do have a bonus review here.
• 49:00
  Eric: This is this gives no information.
• 49:03
  Eric: It just made me giggle, I must say, as a film buff of 32 years, this archaic directing style simply can't hold up to today's groundbreaking cinema gems such as airbud.
• 49:12
  Matt: Seventh inning fetch, fuck off I know you're making a joke, but fuck off, good, good shit, man.
• 49:19
  Matt: Two, two for two and honestly knew them immediately.
• 49:23
  Matt: I know I thought I think you're gonna bring the heat with the last one, though I can feel it okay, I, I think I did, I think I, I think I thread this.
• 49:31
  Eric: Let's do it okay movie three yeah, review number one uh, everything about it just fails, from the singing to the acting.
• 49:40
  Eric: The script is a disjointed mess of subplots mixed with songs.
• 49:44
  Eric: It's boring as hell, with a plot that makes no sense and is always just trying to get to the next dance sequence, basically making the whole thing glorified music video with terrible cinematography and the choreography is atrociously amateur and zero jokes land.
• 49:59
  Eric: I have no idea why so many people like it, besides the beautiful setting.
• 50:06
  Matt: Interesting.
• 50:06
  Matt: That's very interesting.
• 50:08
  Matt: So if not a musical, a movie with music.
• 50:11
  Matt: We're talking about beautiful setting.
• 50:14
  Matt: All right, keep it going there.
• 50:16
  Eric: Review number two the associated songs were cheerful and nice but very low in moral values, especially regarding sexual lust, although great actors and actresses such as Blank, blank and Blank were in this movie.
• 50:29
  Eric: But unfortunately ethical and moral bars was so much lower to the point it made me worrying about my kids and other kids from such lustful movie.
• 50:38
  Matt: Lustful movie.
• 50:40
  Matt: I think my initial guess is wrong.
• 50:43
  Matt: I'm confused, okay.
• 50:45
  Eric: Review number three this is career killing.
• 50:48
  Eric: Awful music, awful acting and awful film.
• 50:51
  Eric: Even if you like band, it's just appalling.
• 50:59
  Matt: Even if you like band yeah, got it, I got it, oh fuck.
• 51:04
  Matt: Even if you like band implies this is not only it's not a movie with music.
• 51:10
  Matt: It replies it's not only a musical movie.
• 51:13
  Matt: It implies it is a jukebox movie.
• 51:15
  Matt: And if that is the case, my previous guesses, which so far I wrote down, the what I my leading guess originally was la la land, but I don't think that's the case.
• 51:28
  Matt: I think we're talking about mama mia.
• 51:31
  Matt: Final answer here we go again.
• 51:33
  Matt: God, yeah, was it.
• 51:35
  Matt: Here we go again.
• 51:36
  Eric: No, no, sorry, I was quote mama mia.
• 51:39
  Matt: Here we go again, because you do must realize, the sequel is here.
• 51:42
  Matt: We Go Again.
• 51:42
  Matt: Damn three for three dog Eric, I laid down, you tried to come for me.
• 51:49
  Matt: Okay, you tried.
• 51:51
  Matt: Yeah, now I want to know, eric, this is Pokemon Gold.
• 51:55
  Eric: I have arrived to the mountain, I've climbed it.
• 51:58
  Eric: You are trainer red with your pikachu, just waiting to obliterate.
• 52:02
  Matt: You have put me in such a difficult position because you've laid down all these rules that I am supposed to follow, that I am supposed to make sure that I'm kind to you.
• 52:12
  Matt: But I thought we were going hard mode with this last one and I just I thought I was too and you okay.
• 52:18
  Matt: Well then, fine, I'm just smart, so you've delivered to me what you've done.
• 52:24
  Eric: If you put yourself in the position of needing a perfect final round, matt, just a tie, eric, matt, I say this to you as my friend, uh-huh and my co host.
• 52:38
  Matt: Okay, send it Send it, send it Send it.
• 52:45
  Eric: Do not insult me with pity, do not disparage me with underhand tosses.
• 52:51
  Eric: I think if that you send it.
• 52:54
  Matt: We're going to have to see what happens if you end up tying this, but I can't even imagine what this tiebreaker would look like.
• 52:57
  Eric: I actually think I do have a good imagine what this tiebreaker would look like I.
• 53:00
  Matt: I actually think I do have a good idea for a tiebreaker.
• 53:02
  Matt: I think what we could do is a sudden death where we like we each have a movie and a review, like maybe we get a couple just in case, and I read you a review and you have to guess, and I, you read me a review oh, are we just doing like a?
• 53:17
  Matt: shootout.
• 53:18
  Matt: Yeah, I think that can be a tiebreaker if it comes to that.
• 53:22
  Matt: Okay, because you, my co-host and friend, just told me to send it, send it and send it.
• 53:28
  Matt: I will, and you can send us Nice, man, your questions, nice to answer on this podcast.
• 53:36
  Matt: You didn't ask for this gmailcom, that's all spelled out.
• 53:41
  Matt: You can also find us on the social media and instagram, tiktok, facebook, twitter, etc.
• 53:45
  Matt: Etc.
• 53:46
  Matt: At.
• 53:46
  Matt: You didn't ask pod.
• 53:48
  Matt: That's the letter.
• 53:49
  Matt: You didn't ask pod on all of them, their networks, um and uh, you can call the thought law and you can call the thought line and leave us a voicemail which we were about to play.
• 54:03
  Matt: We do actually have a number of voicemails in the queue right now.
• 54:07
  Matt: We were going to knock one of them out.
• 54:08
  Matt: We have seen you and we're going to answer.
• 54:11
  Matt: We've seen you, we've heard you.
• 54:12
  Matt: You were cut for time, but we will come back to you and that number is 410-929-5329.
• 54:21
  Matt: So if you're one of the few number of people that's left us a voicemail over the last couple of weeks, we got them, we're getting to them and so, eric, is that, is that the business?
• 54:31
  Matt: I think that's the business.
• 54:33
  Eric: I think we done, did it.
• 54:34
  Matt: Well then, if we done did it, then I have to say that'll about do it for all of us here.
• 54:39
  Matt: You didn't ask for this.
• 54:40
  Matt: My name is Matthew Shea.
• 54:42
  Eric: My name is Eric Poach.
• 54:44
  Matt: And listen.
• 54:44
  Matt: You didn't ask.
• 54:46
  Eric: But here's part two.
• 54:47
  Matt: Here's part two.
• 54:52
  Matt: Enjoy it, I guess.
• 54:54
  Matt: Have a great flight, have a great flight.
• 54:57
  Matt: We'll play the music first, in case you don't care, you're going to want to buckle up.
• 55:04
  Eric: No really the plane's landing.
• 55:05
  Eric: Make sure you're doing best.
• 55:06
  Eric: It's going to hold a break.
• 55:18
  Matt: Don't be shocked when your history book mentions me.
• 55:23
  Matt: You see, I uh and this again just for the record as your captain speaking, I will lay down my life.
• 55:29
  Matt: If it says it's free, okay, eventually you'll see my ascendancy.
• 55:32
  Matt: And right to about 40 000 feet, okay, and that's where we're going to reach cruising ascendancy, and I am not throwing away my shot.
• 55:46
  Matt: I'm going to go ahead and say my shot again.
• 55:48
  Matt: I'm not throwing away my shot.
• 55:50
  Matt: Once more, I'm talking about my shot.
• 55:52
  Matt: It's also in parentheses there.
• 55:54
  Matt: You see, I'm just like my country.
• 55:56
  Matt: I think I've mentioned this once before.
• 55:57
  Matt: I'm young, I'm scrappy, I'm hungry.
• 55:59
  Matt: I'm not like my country.
• 56:01
  Matt: I think I've mentioned this once before.
• 56:03
  Matt: I'm young, I'm scrappy, I'm hungry.
• 56:03
  Matt: I'm not throwing away my shot, I'm not throwing away my shot.
• 56:05
  Matt: We're going to repeat that a couple of times here and then I'm going to say that same catchphrase again.
• 56:13
  Matt: But I'm going to come in now and turn things over to my co-pilot, if that's all right.
• 56:20
  Matt: For this next part, co-pilot, you have anything you want to add while I got the cabin on the?
• 56:26
  Eric: mic here.
• 56:27
  Eric: Hey howdy folks.
• 56:29
  Eric: You know, as my good co-pilot said, beautiful day as we approach BWI.
• 56:35
  Eric: Just wanted to add that I dream of a life without a monarchy.
• 56:39
  Eric: The unrest in France will lead to anarchy.
• 56:42
  Eric: Anarchy how you say, how you, oh anarchy.
• 56:47
  Eric: When I fight.
• 56:48
  Eric: I make the other side panicky with my shot.
• 56:50
  Eric: Yo, I'm a tailor's apprentice and I've got y'all knuckleheads and loco parentis, loco parentis.
• 56:56
  Eric: I'm joining the rebellion because I know it's my chance to socially advance.
• 57:01
  Eric: Instead of selling some pants, woo, I'm gonna take a shot hey, ladies and gentlemen, it's uh the first officer here.
• 57:07
  Matt: I just want to come in and real quick give you the uh announcement that we will never be truly free until those in bondage have the same rights as you and me you and I do or die.
• 57:18
  Matt: I should say you and I.
• 57:19
  Matt: That's grammatically correct.
• 57:27
  Matt: Uh, do or die, wait till I sally in on a stallion with the very first black battalion.
• 57:30
  Eric: Have another shot.
• 57:30
  Eric: Uh, 747.
• 57:31
  Eric: This is bwi air control.
• 57:33
  Eric: Geniuses, lower your voices, you keep out of trouble and you double your choices.
• 57:37
  Eric: I'm with you, but the situation is fraught.
• 57:41
  Eric: You've got to be carefully taught.
• 57:42
  Eric: If you talk, you're going to get shot.
• 57:44
  Matt: Thank you so much.
• 57:46
  Matt: Air Traffic Control Burr, check what we got Mr Lafayette.
• 57:52
  Matt: He's hard rock, like Lance a lot, and I just got to say I think your pants look hot.
• 57:57
  Matt: Thank you, lawrence, I like you a lot.
• 58:00
  Matt: Thank you, and let's hatch a plot.
• 58:03
  Matt: Blacker than the kettle calling the pot.
• 58:07
  Eric: I don't think we're allowed to say that one.
• 58:09
  Matt: Honestly, I think that's a little bit honestly.
• 58:13
  Matt: It's tough wordplay really when you think about it.
• 58:15
  Matt: But what are the odds?
• 58:18
  Matt: The gods would put us all in one spot, popping the squad on conventional wisdom, like it or not?
• 58:27
  Matt: A bunch of revolutionary manumission.
• 58:31
  Matt: Abolitionists.
• 58:32
  Matt: Give me a position and show you where the ammunition is.
• 58:35
  Matt: You know what?
• 58:36
  Matt: I'm sorry, am I talking?
• 58:37
  Eric: too, loud.
• 58:38
  Matt: You see, sometimes I get overexcited, I shoot off at the mouth there.
• 58:41
  Matt: Well, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to say I've never had a group of friends like this before, and I promise to make you all proud.
• 58:51
  Eric: Let's get this guy in front of a crowd.
• 58:52
  Eric: Oh, thank you so much.
• 58:54
  Matt: Shall we repeat the same phrase over and over again a few times now?
• 58:57
  Eric: Oh, yes, I am not throwing away my shot.
• 59:01
  Eric: I'm not throwing my shot away either.
• 59:02
  Eric: I'm not throwing away my shot.
• 59:03
  Eric: Hey, I'm just like my country.
• 59:04
  Eric: Oh, you're young, scrappy and hungry.
• 59:06
  Eric: I got to be, and I'm not throwing away my shot.
• 59:09
  Matt: Now everybody sing.
• 59:10
  Matt: I can't hear you up in the cabin.
• 59:12
  Matt: I got the security door, but what I'd like you to say is whoa?
• 59:17
  Eric: whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa oh.
• 59:23
  Matt: Yeah, so go ahead, let them hear you over in Tuscaloosa, if you don't mind.
• 59:28
  Matt: Say whoa, whoa, whoa A whoa.
• 59:32
  Matt: God, this is going on so long.
• 59:34
  Matt: This bit now.
• 59:35
  Matt: Yeah, this is a good bit.
• 59:36
  Matt: I hope this was worth it.
• 59:38
  Matt: I sure hope this was worth the request, but this is the request we got, because you gotta rise up, you see, when you're living on your knees, go ahead and rise up there and tell your brother also that he's gonna rise up, and tell your sister that she's gonna rise up as well.
• 59:55
  Eric: When are these colonies gonna rise up?
• 59:56
  Eric: I don't know.
• 59:57
  Matt: Let's ask that question Go ahead and do it four times.
• 1:00:00
  Eric: When are these colonies going to rise up?
• 1:00:01
  Eric: I didn't mean literally, I thought we'd skip that.
• 1:00:04
  Matt: Just let them do it.
• 1:00:05
  Matt: Just let them do it and then say rise up.
• 1:00:08
  Eric: For those of you experiencing any anxiety right now, just remember that I'm with you.
• 1:00:14
  Eric: I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.
• 1:00:17
  Eric: When's it going to get me In my sleep, 7,000 feet ahead of me?
• 1:00:21
  Eric: If I see it coming, do I run or do I let it be?
• 1:00:24
  Eric: Is it like a beat without a melody?
• 1:00:27
  Eric: See, I never thought I'd live past 20.
• 1:00:29
  Eric: Where I come from, some get half as many.
• 1:00:32
  Eric: Ask anybody why.
• 1:00:33
  Eric: We living fast and we laugh.
• 1:00:34
  Eric: Reach for a flask.
• 1:00:35
  Eric: We have to make this moment last.
• 1:00:38
  Eric: That's plenty.
• 1:00:38
  Matt: Scratch that.
• 1:00:39
  Matt: This is not a moment.
• 1:00:40
  Matt: It's a movement, actually, and we're all the hungriest brothers with something to prove one.
• 1:00:48
  Matt: I think it should go without saying that foes oppose us.
• 1:00:50
  Matt: We take an honest stand.
• 1:00:53
  Matt: We roll just like Moses.
• 1:00:55
  Matt: That's right.
• 1:00:56
  Matt: It's Moses Clamming our promised land there, and if we win our independence, I should go out saying that is that a guarantee of freedom for our descendants?
• 1:01:09
  Matt: Or will the blood we shed be like an endless cycle of vengeance and death with no defendants?
• 1:01:14
  Matt: Only time will tell.
• 1:01:15
  Matt: But when we roll into town, I do just want you to know that your seat backs are going to have to be in the upright position, and I also know the action in the street is exciting.
• 1:01:27
  Matt: But, jesus, between all the bleeding and fright and I've been reading and writing and we need to get a handle on our financial situation, or your nation, the states, or the state of our nation I'm past, patiently waiting, passionately, mashing every expectation, every action every act of creation.
• 1:01:40
  Eric: I'm flowing.
• 1:01:40
  Eric: He is flowing folks.
• 1:01:41
  Matt: I'm laughing in the face of the casualties and sorrow.
• 1:01:43
  Matt: For the first time, I'm thinking past tomorrow and I'm not throwing away my shot.
• 1:01:48
  Eric: He's not throwing away his shot.
• 1:01:49
  Eric: I'm not throwing away my shot, I'm just like my country.
• 1:01:51
  Matt: I'm yelling, I'm scrapping, I'm hungry.
• 1:01:53
  Matt: I'm not throwing Rise up situation again.
• 1:01:56
  Eric: Yeah, we're going to have to go ahead and do a loop around BWI.
• 1:01:59
  Eric: No reason to panic.
• 1:02:01
  Eric: We're just going to rise up, no reason to panic once.
• 1:02:04
  Matt: However, we're going to rise up, rise up.
• 1:02:06
  Matt: It is time to take a shot at landing this plane.
• 1:02:09
  Matt: I'm going to say we're right at the last paragraph there where we say it's time to take a shot.
• 1:02:16
  Eric: It's time to take a shot and rise up.
• 1:02:17
  Eric: Make sure those tray tables are folded up and locked.
• 1:02:23
  Matt: We are rising up the nose of the plane as we come down.
• 1:02:24
  Eric: It's time to take a shot.
• 1:02:25
  Eric: Land in this plane safely at BWI's beautiful tarmac.
• 1:02:30
  Eric: Rise up, it's time to take a shot.
• 1:02:32
  Eric: Rise up Time to take a shot.
• 1:02:34
  Eric: Secure your belongings, if you have them it's time to take a shot.
• 1:02:39
  Matt: Time to take a shot, and I just want to say once more thank you for flying with Southwest Airlines today.
• 1:02:46
  Matt: We hope you enjoyed the beautiful city of Baltimore and I am not throwing away my shot, not throwing away my shot Once again, rochelle, coming around with the uh trash cans there.
• 1:03:00
  Matt: Please dispose of anything that you might have gathered on the plane.
• 1:03:03
  Matt: Uh, before you leave, and have a great time in charm city.
• 1:03:09
  Eric: You've been amazing thank you, thank you, holy shit.
• 1:03:15
  Matt: Oh my god, yep hope it was worth it hope it was worth it because I'm not editing that.
• 1:03:20
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 1:03:21
  Eric: Yeah, they just get that.
• 1:03:23
  Eric: Who requested that it was?
• 1:03:25
  Matt: Carissa yeah.
• 1:03:25
  Eric: I hope that was worth it.
• 1:03:26
  Eric: Carissa, you beautiful goblin.