Latest / Be It Till You See It / 668. Radical Self-Compassion Is Actually Important

Transcript

668. Radical Self-Compassion Is Actually Important · Be It Till You See It

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: He's saying, we think that when we're self-less, we're quote unquote correct or right.
• 0:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then when we are selfish or wrong, and what he was saying is like, those are both actual extremes.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, what if we were grounded or self-centered or what if we focus about centered self, not like in a negative way, but like how do we, I know how can we be both of those things instead of like one or the other?
• 0:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the Beat Till You See at Podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring.
• 0:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm also Logan, Ply's instructor, and fit this business coach.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've trained thousands of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: My friends, action brings clarity.
• 0:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's the antidote to fear.
• 0:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Each week my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it.
• 1:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's a practice, not a perfect, let's get started.
• 1:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to the beat till you see an interview we'd cap her my coast and life Brad and I are going to dig into the fuck provoking Convo I had with Billy Larr in our last episode.
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah we are.
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you haven't listened to that interview you should you could pause this now and hear what I sound like not with the sinus infection and then if you're new you'll be like this girl's voice sucks I can't stand it and then you'll stick it out.
• 1:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah you'll stick it out.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: You will.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: I promise you.
• 1:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: We believe in you.
• 1:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I promise you this is not this two-shall pass.
• 1:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: What if someone was like, oh my god, I loved her voice, but she had the science affected me now when it's gone.
• 1:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Huh.
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Interesting.
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's see where this goes.
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: This day is observed every year on April 16th the day after tax date.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Interesting as well.
• 2:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Are you aware that there are times you might need to make some decisions about your health care, but be incapacitated to make them.
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, this is an interesting.
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I thought it's like the health insurance companies.
• 2:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: But this is about us.
• 2:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is a big amount of personal health care decisions that we can make.
• 2:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: This day is set aside to help you take care of those potential situations ahead of time.
• 2:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is a day for patients or healthcare receivers to make known to health professionals to kind of adequate care they wish to receive and have those wishes respected and met.
• 2:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, whether there'll be respected and met our different stories in the United States health care situation, but I do agree we Brad and I are supposed to have sat down.
• 2:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: His parents are going to annoy us until we do and actually like talk about our, do not resuscitate stuff and all that stuff.
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, advanced directive, maybe that's it.
• 2:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so we've been on a health care tour and we've been we are using the insurance we pay for we Absolutely aren't we are annoying the hell out of them.
• 3:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: We are gonna use every benefit.
• 3:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: They say we pay for Well, it's also not like a fast quick decision.
• 3:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: We started doing this like I don't know 18 months ago Oh, yeah, I say it's taking you 18 months to get the result you've got today
• 3:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not even kidding.
• 3:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's insane to me.
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 3:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: They were like, hey, everything's good up there, your brain.
• 3:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, well, that makes me feel good.
• 3:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: But what the heck, it took that long.
• 3:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, yeah, it's been a, it's been a whirlwind and we've been learning a lot of things.
• 3:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Just like you have a last will and testament, you also need to have something called an, I'm looking up to get the exact,
• 3:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: phrasing of it, but like, what the last will test.
• 3:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to do it when you like do surgeries and stuff like that.
• 3:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you have to, you should talk with your partners and your families about your wishes.
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's called a living will or an advanced directive.
• 3:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's a legal document for healthcare that outlines your treatment preferences.
• 3:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you become incapacitated, I, let me just tell you, you guys want to go on a journey because I remember, I remember, oh, my God, what was her name?
• 4:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not in my head because I'm on day 12.
• 4:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: When I grew up, I remember she was on the cover of every tabloid magazine and her husband was made out to be this big villain because he wanted to pull the plug.
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, and Florida?
• 4:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I forgot that.
• 4:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you guys want to, okay, you know, listen to the podcast, go to the year-long about series, go all the way back to the beginning.
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: They have, what is that woman's, Sherry?
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sherry, it's coming.
• 4:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: I've on time.
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, Sherry Tyvo come a case in Florida in the 90s.
• 4:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Terry, T-Y-T-T-Y-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T
• 5:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: they people in this country will keep you on life support against your will it happened to the black woman at land up who was forced to stay this happened in the last year.
• 5:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Her family was forced to keep her on life support because she was six months pregnant.
• 5:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then they made her stay on life support until the baby was viable.
• 5:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: to live without her.
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: At the time we're recording this, that baby is still in the need you cannot survive on its own.
• 5:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we need laws that protect people and then we need advanced directives because what we don't want is the government getting involved.
• 5:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what you don't want.
• 5:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, this is not a very uplifting conversation, so let's let's shift back to how we can take care of this for yourself.
• 5:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like today's about making a decision for yourself.
• 5:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: So there's what couple different things that you can do.
• 5:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: You can, you know, if you have been meaning to make that doctor's appointment.
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: just do it today's the day do it set aside a little bit of time today to like actually get the ball rolling because the problem like I know what the problem is the problem is that it never is fast you call it's freakin voicemail like nothing seems to flow and so you have to call back 10 times I literally had to drive across the street to this doctor's office two times to schedule my fucking appointment it's insane so I understand how frustrating that can be but if you don't start now it will never happen
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: you won't have the team in place when you need them and I will say like in our journey of making sure that we have a team of healthcare professionals at our local I have been able to find doctors that actually give a fuck like my my gynecologist who does my my hormone treatment in Vegas she gives such a fuck that I have a breast doctor that breast doctor has me on an MRI next week and then in six months on mammogram and that's where I'm at until
• 6:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then she's going to get me to the plastic surgeon talking about my options like they will help advocate for you if you really do advocate for yourself like I found like it's kind of amazing it when you get into it now do I have what I when I complain I said I hate this imaging place is like just drive there make the appointment it's faster and I was like are you kidding me.
• 7:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it is.
• 7:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's like, it's just fast.
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just the way it has to go.
• 7:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know in the year of our Lord, 2026, but it is what it is.
• 7:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And here's another trick for your doctor's office.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Uh, things call billing billing always answers.
• 7:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: So my God, before I leave, I always say when you want to see me again, because I'm just going to put it on my way out, because that's the best thing.
• 7:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, and she's like, it is the best thing.
• 7:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I said, oh, you want to out the other hack is, which is like, what I said, my assistant calls billing.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: They always answer and she goes, oh, my God,
• 7:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: but she loves me.
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what I highly recommend take the steps.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: It becomes it's like part of your adulting life, pick an hour every week to do adulting.
• 7:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you'll be glad you did because things will happen and you're not going to want to be up the creek without a paddle.
• 7:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you're not going to be up the advanced health care directed without a paddle.
• 8:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was just poking around and there is a very interesting free service provider that will do last well in testament.
• 8:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: revocable living trust, advanced healthcare directive, power of attorney, and it's called freewill.com.
• 8:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: So that's crazy.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: They do not sponsor us, but I think it's pretty amazing and they actually have I was just poking around.
• 8:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: They actually have like a guided for last well-intestimate.
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: They have a guided will maker that covers all 50 states.
• 8:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know who I need to interview, interview a will maker?
• 8:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: How do we be until we see it in this advanced directive?
• 8:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what are all the things I need to know?
• 8:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: What should be in my will?
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who should not be in my will?
• 8:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, all that stuff.
• 8:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, and then free will also has for the advanced directive with healthcare stuff.
• 8:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: They have a free one that's also guided through all the state.
• 8:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: So they seem to have their shit together.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're actually funded by no idea how to help you there.
• 8:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: But they're funded by a nonprofit or charity.
• 8:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: So they're totally free.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: pretty crazy.
• 9:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Wow.
• 9:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: The skeptic of me is like, who is funding this?
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: The Peter T. Oh.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 9:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: About three.
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, this is really what they're interested in.
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're like dying to know.
• 9:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: But you have to look up these things because there is a nonprofit organization that's about like,
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like it sounds like it's about keeping kids from being online too early, but really it's actually owned by meta and their whole thing is it your kids information early and so they can I know so you got to look at these things you don't know now I saw a 10 hat person but you got to look.
• 9:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so they have non-profit partners.
• 9:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't.
• 9:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's not really that clear, but you know, we'll figure that out, you know, you know, be thoughtful.
• 9:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 9:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's that least gives you an actual step to be a tell you see it in your advanced directive.
• 9:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I know comes after Tax Day and look, no one likes taxes, but the reality is is if you vote,
• 9:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: in your primaries for the people that you think will to to put your tax dollars to work the way you want.
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have a better chance of getting that in the major part in November.
• 10:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: So go vote primers are happening all over the place right now as we speak.
• 10:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so please go take care of that.
• 10:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 10:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thousand percent.
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: So important.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know.
• 10:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: All right, let's shift gears here.
• 10:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: So coming up next, we got spring training happening in May, May 12th or 17th.
• 10:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: So if you want to do Pilates at home, we're going to be going upside down in a bunch of different ways with some really fun classes led by all the OPC team.
• 10:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if you want to information about that, it's probably already available for you to jump into.
• 10:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, you can sign up right now.
• 10:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: But go to opc.me slash events, opc.me slash events.
• 10:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Also, elevate 2027, we have only a few spots left.
• 10:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's possible that they're already sold out.
• 10:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: But if you were really interested in a deep dive of classical Pilates with LESA, it's a nine-month mentorship program.
• 10:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: for certified applies teachers.
• 10:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to kick it off in January next year.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Learn more about that at lessleylogan.co slash elevate, lessleylogan.co slash elevate.
• 11:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you and I can hop on a call would love to explain more about it with you.
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then finally, we have summer tour coming up.
• 11:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know.
• 11:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's so crazy.
• 11:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's going so fast.
• 11:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bit ahead of schedule here.
• 11:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's an August.
• 11:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: If it's an August, we open the doors and may.
• 11:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: So that's exciting, and we can't wait, it's going to be awesome.
• 11:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: This year we have a different route, I was just reviewing it with the team.
• 11:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to be going like directly across the country straight across all the way to Tennessee and back.
• 11:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we're doing like a big long oval in the middle of the country, hitting.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're not going to go up into the Michigan.
• 11:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: We are not, I was, I was wrong.
• 11:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: We lied to everybody.
• 11:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: We lied to everyone last week and the week before.
• 11:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, 100%.
• 11:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: We are hitting Dallas though.
• 11:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to catch that on the way back.
• 11:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, but I feel like a little sad for our Chicago Mishgander is, you know, yeah, definitely all those people.
• 11:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, we were just there in September of Chicago.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I know, but it's not we weren't in Minneapolis.
• 11:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: We will work it out.
• 11:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: We will work it out.
• 11:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: But this tour is going across the country.
• 11:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: And yeah, but, but come join us if you're able to, you know, find out all the information at opc.me slash tour opc.
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I realized I didn't sound ex-excited as I am.
• 12:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just, I like had it in my head that we were like doing the middle and we're doing a different middle.
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: We are doing the middle.
• 12:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was a clear.
• 12:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was a clear, so I manifested the wrong oval.
• 12:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, noted for next time.
• 12:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, before we get into the episode, what is the question of the week?
• 12:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so, okay, this is from Advocate Pilates on Instagram.
• 12:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: She asks, hey, Leslie, what Matt do you use?
• 12:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: Does it have good grip and do you use it for Matt Pilates?
• 12:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 12:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't, I have a Matt that's just for Pilates and I have a Matt that's for yoga.
• 12:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's intentional.
• 12:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: They are two different practices.
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: They require two different needs.
• 12:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: So,
• 12:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I use a Contrology mat for Pilates.
• 12:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: It has a firm density, which doesn't mean it's hard as a rock.
• 12:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's actually quite great for when you roll on it.
• 12:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to worry about like touching the floor or anything like that, but it's firm enough to do planks so your wrists don't have any issues and shoulders don't have any issues.
• 13:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we have an incredible affiliate link that you can use to get a discount on that mat.
• 13:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: As handles, it's opc.me slash folding mat folding mat and as far as, like, good grip, I'm imagining you mean on the floor.
• 13:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so what I would say is like, I, you probably would put a pad down if you had Harvard floors, because there is, like, some metal on the bottom that you don't want to scratch your Harvard floors, and that would keep it from sliding around.
• 13:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Pretty much any mat, you should all be mindful of stepping on mats on Harvard floors, because a lot of
• 13:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: So even if they have good grip with your skin, they don't always have good grip on the hardwood floors.
• 13:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: We have tile and we have a rug.
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it doesn't slide around on our tile, it doesn't slide around our rugs.
• 13:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is heavy duty.
• 13:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, I mean, it weighs like 20 pounds.
• 13:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah.
• 13:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's not light.
• 13:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's not like a, it's not a, there's not a yoga mat.
• 13:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, no, so TN, so it is an investment, but to me, your map practice is something you're going to do forever and it's something will this map you'll buy one and you'll have it forever and there's that.
• 14:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's what's really great versus my younger one get that one forever.
• 14:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, one forever.
• 14:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, personally yoga mats that I inevitably have to replace even every 10 years because they start to just fall part.
• 14:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
• 14:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 14:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, if you have a question, ping us.
• 14:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Let us know, uh, set us a text 3109055534 or, you know, an easier is go to beitpod.com slash questions.
• 14:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: We can leave us either a win or a question.
• 14:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: We are looking forward to getting those from you so we can celebrate your wins on.
• 14:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Fuck you Friday.
• 14:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Stick around.
• 14:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: We'll be right back.
• 14:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to start chatting about Billy Larr.
• 14:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: All right.
• 14:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Let's talk about Billy Larr.
• 14:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Billy is the creator and host of the mindful midlife crisis podcast and the certified mindfulness meditation teacher for the background education and behavior change.
• 14:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: He spent over two decades working in education.
• 14:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: including leadership roles before stepping away in 2021, since then Billy is focused on coaching and consulting while living and working internationally, definitely describes himself as a nomad.
• 15:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: He also facilitates the jump start, jump start conversation series, a free weekly conversation space that's relaxing collaborative, where coaches often join to connect with peers to share perspectives without the pressure of performing.
• 15:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to put the link for that in the sign-up notes below.
• 15:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: So if you're interested in that, if that's something that you want like a support group kind of
• 15:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Hangout community session, you know, go check that out.
• 15:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think this is really fun.
• 15:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I loved that he said he's on a fan of gay amount of your comfort zone to grow.
• 15:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's great.
• 15:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's like, they said, fuck that.
• 15:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: I've been working hard to get into my comfort zone.
• 15:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 15:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I resonate with that because like, so many of us are like trying to fair who we are.
• 15:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so like, it's kind of hard to like fair who you are and then get out of your comfort zone if you don't know who you are.
• 15:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And but he said to be cautious when we get into the complacency zone.
• 15:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I thought that was a cool term.
• 15:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's, I think that that's really,
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: We see that happen all the time with people who teach put bodies like sometimes they just get like they're just like going through the motions and
• 16:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's not that they lost their zest for it, but something kind of happened along the way.
• 16:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they were restricted in too many ways and they're just like, okay, I'm just gonna do this.
• 16:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it's okay to be in your comfort zone.
• 16:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just notice if you're in your complacency zone.
• 16:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: What a great thing.
• 16:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: You also suggested like, expending your life from within rather than forcing yourself into discomfort from the outside.
• 16:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, I think, look, here's the deal.
• 16:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: We do understand that like diamonds are made from pressure and stressing your bones is how you make healthy bones.
• 16:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: stress in your muscles is how you make healthy muscles.
• 16:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like all that stuff is very, very true.
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I do think that some people are constant like, like they're constantly putting themselves into experiences that maybe is too much that they're going, like you're doing too much working out.
• 16:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Are you doing too much stress on the bones?
• 16:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so you're never actually reading the rewards and the benefits of those things.
• 16:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so he actually likened it to, you stretch your comfort zone like pizza dough from the inside.
• 17:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I thought that was really interesting.
• 17:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Only he then's pull your pizza dough.
• 17:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: You have to press it from the middle.
• 17:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: You got to press it from the inside to expand your pizza dough.
• 17:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and so I think that just before we got talking about the pizza dough, I want to just define complacency zone because, you know, comfort zone versus complacency zone comfort.
• 17:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: He's his argument is that it's okay to be in your comfort zone, but you can get complacent once you get there.
• 17:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I look, I was just thinking about it.
• 17:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's like a stagnant place.
• 17:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's where you're stuck.
• 17:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, and you're also, it's not just that you stuck, but you're also like unwilling to change.
• 17:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: You are resisting change, right?
• 17:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you're relying on familiar outdated routines.
• 17:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, I think that there's definitely a difference between being in the comfort zone and being in a complacency zone, but I do like this analogy of like stretching like a pizza dough.
• 17:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know?
• 17:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I do too.
• 17:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: It lies all about moving from your center outward.
• 17:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I also think like,
• 17:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes people are easy to just go, well, I'm just going to change the outside.
• 18:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to change the outside and versus the inside out because a lot of the things you get marketed to are like outside exterior, like, you know, what do you call it?
• 18:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like external things or physical things that's not necessarily like getting to know who you are.
• 18:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that there's something about, you know, it's not I don't think he's advocating that you just like sit around in your comfy couch and just like chill out.
• 18:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I do think it goes back to like how we coach studios.
• 18:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like we want your business to be a
• 18:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: not that you're complacent, but that it's predictable, right?
• 18:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: That that it's okay to be in a comfortable place with your business and it's predictable in its seasons, you'll still have to keep learning.
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: There'll still be new tools to know.
• 18:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're still going to be things out there that are going to stress you in a different way, but you don't have to find new ways to challenge yourself and get out of here comfort zone.
• 18:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: all the time you can you can actually have some predictability there as long as you're a complacent I like it yeah so you know when he was talking about pushing back against negative this idea of being selfish I was laughing so hard because we've been talking about this for a long time that self-care is a selfish and I really loved that we're not the only one talking about this is not necessarily something wrong I would being selfish if you've been overly selfless
• 19:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right, like, because I think we get into this, you toward really digging in, you know, and he's saying, you know, we, we think that When we're selfless, we're quote unquote, correct or right, and then when we are selfish or wrong, right, and what he was saying is like, those are both actual extremes.
• 19:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you know, what if we were grounded or self-centered or what if we focus about centered self not like in a negative way, but like how do we?
• 19:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know, how can we be both of those things instead of like one or the other?
• 19:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know, I think like, because self-centered has such a negative connotation, but like a centered self is like, well, right?
• 19:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 19:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if like a selfless and self-ish are overwhelmed and underwhelmed, right?
• 19:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then centered self would be wound, right?
• 20:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: It'd be right in the middle and that allows you to protect yourself, you know, to put yourself first in some situations and then in others, still of course, you know, serve others and that's good.
• 20:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, we have a series coming out about like giving yourself permission to become whatever it is that you want to be and there's actually like this term called the permission gap that I get into in the episode series that I created and it's actually all because the way society is is it raises women to feel that they are selfish if they prioritize themselves first.
• 20:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so they must care for everyone else's needs ahead of their own.
• 20:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then they can care for themselves, but there's no time after all that.
• 20:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's just, that's just illogical.
• 20:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's not sustainable.
• 20:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: What, what ends up happening is you burnt out.
• 20:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there's a reason why.
• 20:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like speaking of healthcare advocacy day, there is a reason why you can actually pay for some way that your health insurance pays someone to take care of you because it is impossible for someone or multiple people in your life to take off of work to care for you.
• 21:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a reason when we have home health aids, right?
• 21:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because we do live in a world where like you can't just like care for other people all the time at the expense of your own self.
• 21:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, that's the key.
• 21:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's true.
• 21:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, you know, anyway, I just thought they were great topics.
• 21:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: So stick around.
• 21:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: We'll be right back.
• 21:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: We got some really fun Beat action items from Billy, Lara as well.
• 21:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we'll be right back.
• 21:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: All right, so finally, let's talk about those be it action items.
• 21:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: What bold, executable intrinsic or targeted action items?
• 21:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Can we take away from your conversation with Billy Larr?
• 21:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: He said he rejects the standard social question of like, what do you do?
• 21:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I found this really intriguing because I love that what do you do is an open-ended question and I'm always into, I ask that's exactly the question they ask.
• 21:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: What do you do because what people, how they respond to that question, tells me a lot.
• 21:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: because when they turn around and say, what do I do, I say, I sleep a lot or I play video games or, you know, but what they're implying with the questions, what do you do for work?
• 22:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: So that's kind of interesting, but I love that he, like, he's like, now screw that because people always answer with what they do for work, which is boring.
• 22:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I thought that was not what I do for work, but you know, but other people are boring.
• 22:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, but he hears the thing.
• 22:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: He effectively doesn't want to talk about what he does for work.
• 22:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because he said he said I was an English teacher.
• 22:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's boring.
• 22:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, so, you know, what he started doing is said was asking people different questions and he said they often were like, like, shocking or eye-opening or like, whoa, we don't even know each other and you're asking me this kind of question and he said, the question he likes to lead with is, what are 10 roles that you play
• 22:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: in your life.
• 22:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: 10 roles that you play in your life.
• 22:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 22:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 22:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 22:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think I would make it three.
• 22:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I don't want to sit here for least the first five or always the same.
• 22:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: What are your 10 rolls?
• 22:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a daughter, I'm a sister, I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a husband, I'm a whatever.
• 23:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: And he said, it's always that crap, but then once they get through that crap, then they have to tell you something interesting about themselves.
• 23:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, like because they run out of, they run out of the obvious things, so then they think about it and then they have to tell you something.
• 23:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: So that's, I think that might be part of why it's 10.
• 23:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: He argues that a person's value and interest lie in the various roles that they play outside of,
• 23:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: those standard things like, I'm a paddle border.
• 23:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm this.
• 23:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a, you know, like, I'm a long haul driver for when we go on tour.
• 23:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a, I sit behind a booth.
• 23:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a boother.
• 23:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: just make it shut up here.
• 23:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: He said also, you know, it helps because you're not just one thing in your life.
• 23:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so it like battles complacency when you're when you're engaging people on these other things that they're excited about.
• 23:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, I think that's cool.
• 23:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: I guess I guess, right, you have to go attend.
• 23:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's just a big question if I don't know if I want to talk to that person for that long.
• 24:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I feel like it's going to be interesting.
• 24:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And there's been people and I'm like, I, you know, we can go.
• 24:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: What about you?
• 24:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I, okay, so he said follow your passions, complete another nonsense.
• 24:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think this is so funny.
• 24:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: I liked his logic here.
• 24:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: I thought this was pretty awesome, actually.
• 24:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think this is helpful because like people are always like, what am I passionate about?
• 24:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what's my hobby?
• 24:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like this?
• 24:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: What should I do?
• 24:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: What should I do for like passion is not a starting point.
• 24:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Passion is a byproduct of this formula.
• 24:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: figure out which we're good at and your strengths.
• 24:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we have had many a strength finder type coach on here.
• 24:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh yeah.
• 24:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you can go talk to any of them.
• 24:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: They are so many from day one of this podcast.
• 24:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's been so many.
• 24:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then he said jumps.
• 24:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: He has it.
• 24:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: He's got a workbook.
• 24:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's got a workbook.
• 24:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's got a workbook called Jumpstart Your Midlife Workbook.
• 24:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you can take that.
• 24:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's part of the stuff.
• 24:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why do you have to figure out what you're good at?
• 24:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are your strengths?
• 24:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Step two, what are you curious about and how can you leverage those skills and those strengths to learn more?
• 24:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there's a Venn diagram.
• 24:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm an adgenine.
• 24:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is how I pictured your skills, your strengths and what you're curious about and then do in the middle.
• 25:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's like you and then you take that to find a community.
• 25:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: So find people you can connect with.
• 25:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they'll help you, that will help you identify your purpose, because even if you don't like them, you'll go, I don't like that.
• 25:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not my purpose.
• 25:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then if you want to turn that purpose into a passion, you just multiply that by consistency, discipline, and patience, and self-compassion.
• 25:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: So then you, you put, you know, field of that fire.
• 25:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and I think that he emphasized the last two in that the patients and self-compassion.
• 25:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: So like when you want to turn something that you're good at into your passion, he said, you need to multiply it by consistency, discipline, patience, and self-compassion.
• 25:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: And he said, most people of, we've all heard, you know, consistency,
• 25:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: persistent and consistent.
• 25:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Be persistent and consistent, you know, which, which obviously also means discipline, but he said, we always skip the patience and self-compassion part of it because you're going to fail and it's also not going to happen overnight, whatever it might be.
• 26:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, yep, I agree.
• 26:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think radical self-compassion is important.
• 26:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Radical self-compassion.
• 26:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes, just like radical responsibility that's my right, my favorite phrase right now.
• 26:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want more
• 26:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, you guys, I'm Leslie Logan.
• 26:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm Brad Crowell.
• 26:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: This Sunday's infection will pass.
• 26:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And but not not next week's episode.
• 26:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: So just heads up, we got one more.
• 26:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And but we're working on it.
• 26:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, we are and I appreciate your patience and the self-compassion.
• 26:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm having for myself and the compassion you're having for me.
• 26:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Send his episode or this one to a friend who needs to hear it.
• 26:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Send your be a pod wins and I'm your questions and to be a pod.com.
• 26:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Would it be a pod dot com slash questions?
• 26:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, send in there and until next time, be a tasty it.
• 26:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: Bye for now.
• 26:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's all I got for this episode of The Beat Tell You See A Podcast.
• 26:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review.
• 26:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts.
• 26:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at The Beat Pot on Instagram.
• 27:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would love to know more about you.
• 27:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it.
• 27:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Help us and others be a tell you see it.
• 27:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Have an awesome day.
• 27:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Be it till you see it is a production of the blue pod cast network.
• 27:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to leave this a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at plus one three one oh nine oh five five three four or send a DM on Instagram at be it pod.
• 27:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's written, filmed and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan and me, Brad Crowell.
• 27:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epic team at disenio.co.
• 27:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Our theme music is by Ellie at Apex production music, and our branding by designer and artist John Franco Chilfe.
• 27:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
• 27:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Also, to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website.
• 27:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: And finally, to Meredith Rude for keeping us all on point and on time.
• 28:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Alright, let's talk about Billy Law, our Billy is the creator and host of the Mindfulness Mindful Midnight