Latest / Creative Roots Podcast / Recognizing Yourself as the Bottleneck to Your Business - Emi | Ep. 77

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Recognizing Yourself as the Bottleneck to Your Business - Emi | Ep. 77 · Creative Roots Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: When you speak to these people, do they realize that they're doing these things?
0:05
SPEAKER_02: And I want to solve core problems.
0:07
SPEAKER_02: Right?
0:08
SPEAKER_02: So the the tactics, the strategy, the implementation of that, like that's how how did you deal with the lack of support from your family enough to keep going?
0:17
SPEAKER_03: Truth in the air, let it speak.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I'm I'm glad you're here.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: And I appreciate the uh the reference point connector.
0:34
SPEAKER_00: The young lady behind the camera.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: She's saying hey, like y'all can see her.
0:40
SPEAKER_01: That connector.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode of Creative Roots Podcast with Scene, Sewn, Become Visions Grown.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: I am your host, Tay.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: And today I am sitting with two lovely women.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: One that I just met and one that bullies me on and offline.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm joking.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm joking.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: She doesn't.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: She doesn't.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: We do a back and forth.
0:59
SPEAKER_02: How about directs?
1:00
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: Very, very direct.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: So I don't think that's a good thing.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: Today's co-host, um, who also introduced me to the young lady across from me, Embi, is Dow.
1:13
SPEAKER_03: What up though?
1:14
SPEAKER_03: Was Annie?
1:16
SPEAKER_00: And there you go.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: And across from me, we have Miss Emby.
1:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: She does so many things concerning business, um, consulting.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: She is a speaker, and we are gonna speak to her today.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: Well, actually, I'm gonna let her speak to me because the things that I feel I can gain from this personally, um hopefully it works and resonates with everybody else.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: So we'll see what happens.
1:51
SPEAKER_02: I look forward to it.
1:52
SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be fun.
1:53
SPEAKER_00: So, Emmy.
1:55
SPEAKER_02: Hey.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: Can you fully introduce yourself to these lovely people because I don't like getting people's intros wrong?
2:04
SPEAKER_02: Sure.
2:05
SPEAKER_02: So be happy to.
2:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there you go.
2:08
SPEAKER_02: So I'm Emmy Kirschner.
2:09
SPEAKER_02: I'm the founder and intuitive strategic advisor for Sarah Luna Consulting.
2:15
SPEAKER_02: We are a business advisory or private advisory firm for um service-based business owners.
2:23
SPEAKER_02: That could be anything from um accounts, attorneys, marketing agencies, which are my most favorite companies to work with.
2:32
SPEAKER_02: Um, but it could also be landscaping, multi-location, massage studios, interior design, home stagers, professional organizers, pool companies, um, the like.
2:44
SPEAKER_02: And typically I'm working with the business owner and sometimes um part of his or her leadership team to help the business owner stop being the bottleneck because they love their business baby so much that they still think they need to be like hands-on with everything.
3:06
SPEAKER_02: And that's causing problems with team and culture, causes problems with operational processes, causes problems with just continuous growth.
3:15
SPEAKER_02: So I help um identify the open loops and gaps, develop a strategic plan, um, close those open loops and gaps in whatever areas need help.
3:26
SPEAKER_02: And then I'm working with the business owner to identify where they're holding themselves back, like where they're self-limiting, um, so that they can be the best leader and the best business owner that they're supposed to be, which normally um allows them to really free themselves up to have more time to potentially take time off or do something else, right?
3:53
SPEAKER_02: Like my my intention is for them to have a full life, not just a full business.
4:00
SPEAKER_02: So that's what I do.
4:01
SPEAKER_02: Um, in the nutshell, I've been doing this version of businessing um for over 10 years.
4:12
SPEAKER_00: That yeah, I like the word decade.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: It sounds so much stronger um than 10 years.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: I like decade.
4:24
SPEAKER_02: Maybe I'll maybe I'll start putting that in all my marketing materials.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: Yes, with over a decade worth of knowledge and information.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I'm holding this mic like it's wireless.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: It's a habit.
4:34
SPEAKER_02: Um sorry, I feel like I should be like playing with it.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: Right.
4:39
SPEAKER_00: Please, yeah, don't follow my lead.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: It'll be bad.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: So 10 years of helping and assisting.
4:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I started this business initially as a health coach, which is super important to me.
4:56
SPEAKER_02: Like I still am very health oriented.
4:59
SPEAKER_02: I'm continuously checking in with my clients about not as much about their eating habits, although we do talk about that periodically, but are they getting enough sleep?
5:08
SPEAKER_02: Because that can radically change everything for you if you're sleeping enough and well.
5:13
SPEAKER_02: Um, but are they working out in some form or moving and then water?
5:19
SPEAKER_02: Um, but early on, my marketing wasn't connecting with my health coaching.
5:25
SPEAKER_02: And I had envisioned myself like working with stay-at-home moms and helping with emotional eating.
5:31
SPEAKER_02: And um, that was not who my clients were.
5:34
SPEAKER_02: They were all entrepreneurs.
5:35
SPEAKER_02: They were eating emotionally because they were stressed out because their business was having an issue, whether somebody like a key employee had left or their sales were down, or whatever, whatever thing was happening.
5:49
SPEAKER_02: And I figured that out when I started having conversations about why are you eating the tub of ice cream at 10 o'clock at night standing in front of the freezer in the dark.
6:01
SPEAKER_02: So I just organically like started solving those problems in addition to the emotional eating aspect.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: Uh, and then I was like, oh, maybe I should do this.
6:12
SPEAKER_02: And so I said, Well, the health and wellness is still really important to me.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: Um, being able to help people grow businesses that are sustainable, that are thriving, that are prosperous and profitable is really the best way for me to serve.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: I like that you went from change your diet to change your business model.
6:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I think they both go hand in hand, you know, like you were saying, because sometimes you don't realize that you're doing something, and that's how you end up in these situations where you start eating this ice cream in the dark in front of the freezer, waiting to figure out where you're gonna put the ice cream back.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: See, no, I'm gonna say I can't eat ice cream like that.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: I love it, but I can't eat it like that.
7:07
SPEAKER_00: I've never really been into sweets, right?
7:10
SPEAKER_00: What I have an issue with is I will binge on fruit.
7:16
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: And I can't eat strawberries.
7:20
SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
7:21
SPEAKER_02: Are you allergic to strawberries?
7:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I find this out years later.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
7:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay.
7:26
SPEAKER_02: You're the second person I know with that allergy.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: Like they'll break me out.
7:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's like honey for some people, where I know someone that if they eat strawberries, it's like, okay, epipen ER, you know, um, and peaches.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: I can't eat peaches either, but I love fruit.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: And I will literally just sit there and just eat all the fruit in the house.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: My wife and my kids are like, Really?
7:53
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, I I did that.
7:56
SPEAKER_00: Um at least it was healthy though.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I left y'all the cereal, you know, I left y'all the fruit snacks.
8:04
SPEAKER_00: You know.
8:06
SPEAKER_02: See, I thought you were gonna say like chips or french fries, because people usually go from like, oh no, I'm not an ice cream sweet person.
8:12
SPEAKER_02: I love salt and like crunchy things.
8:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but fruit's like good for you in normal amounts.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: Normal amounts.
8:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: But you know, some people they I guess I want to ask this question.
8:29
SPEAKER_00: When you speak to these people, do they realize that they're doing these things?
8:34
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes, yeah.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
8:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like that's part of why we're connecting.
8:39
SPEAKER_02: It's like they know they're the bottleneck.
8:41
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I've been doing a lot of networking lately, lately.
8:44
SPEAKER_02: And when I say that, people are in my little Zoom box are like, that's me, that's me, I'm the bottleneck.
8:49
SPEAKER_02: I know I'm the bottleneck.
8:50
SPEAKER_02: But they're not like they need somebody outside of them to come and help them figure it out because it's not like for me, I want to solve core problems.
9:01
SPEAKER_02: Right.
9:02
SPEAKER_02: So the the tactics, the strategy, the implementation of that, like that's easy.
9:08
SPEAKER_02: The problem or the place where we all get like messed up is everything that's going on in our head that creates the emotion around, I can finish this, I can't finish this, I don't know how to do this, I'm great at this.
9:22
SPEAKER_02: Like, whatever we're telling ourselves.
9:24
SPEAKER_02: Um, a lot of times if we're still holding on to like I have to um be in charge of all the things.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: And we've got this little running dialogue about um, I can't find people to hire.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: Hiring's hard.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: There's no good people.
9:41
SPEAKER_02: I hear that one all the time.
9:43
SPEAKER_02: Well, when you go to hire, you're not gonna find or attract the people that you could potentially, and you're not gonna put the time into writing the job description, really understanding who you're looking for, who's a match for you, who's gonna help fill in the gaps, right?
10:02
SPEAKER_02: And you're not gonna be as open to receiving that best person.
10:06
SPEAKER_02: So I work on that piece so you can attract the best person and the tactical part of writing the job descriptions and the hiring process and the onboarding process and the personal on the professional personal development of that person throughout the entire um time that I'm working with my client.
10:28
SPEAKER_02: And that's just one area.
10:30
SPEAKER_02: Like I work in whatever area they need.
10:32
SPEAKER_02: I just wrote scripts for intake scripts for a client of mine this past week.
10:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you kind of just hit on some stuff.
10:42
SPEAKER_00: Um that's me.
10:44
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like I have to do it, but I can't finish this.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: Well, I'll work on this next thing.
10:52
unknown: Yeah.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: And next thing I know, you know, as a visionary, I've got thousands of things that I can visually see.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: And then trying to figure out how to implement it, put it into place.
11:06
SPEAKER_00: Do I need help?
11:07
SPEAKER_00: Do I not need help?
11:08
SPEAKER_00: Um, can I hire somebody?
11:11
SPEAKER_00: Can we place someone here, place someone there?
11:15
SPEAKER_00: Who do I have as a resource that I can use now?
11:18
SPEAKER_00: Right.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: And then it gets to the overwhelming part and it's like, forget it.
11:23
unknown: Yeah.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: I'll forget it.
11:25
SPEAKER_02: I'll just Well, and that's like most visionaries, you're idea generators.
11:29
SPEAKER_02: Like I'm an I I can come up with ideas all day long, which is great for my clients because it's in a limited span.
11:36
SPEAKER_02: And then we can go and implement on that.
11:38
SPEAKER_02: And I'm potentially in charge or helping the client implement, but I'm not the implementer.
11:46
SPEAKER_01: Right.
11:46
SPEAKER_02: Right.
11:47
SPEAKER_02: In my business, like I have a little um thing in my clickup, little list where I put my ideas now, because otherwise I'll start 27 of them and finish none.
11:57
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
11:59
SPEAKER_02: So it's knowing that like that's what your personality is, being in acceptance of it, for me it is at least, and then finding the people to help you be the implementer, like to and to do some of that work.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: So like it's just for me, it's understanding who you are and what your strong points are, your zone of genius, and letting go of the other parts because while you were saying like you're super detailed about how everything is, in some other place you're not because you're not supposed to be.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: I agree.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I agree.
12:37
SPEAKER_02: So find that person who's super detailed in that part and allow them, right?
12:41
SPEAKER_02: Trust them, because that's what a lot of the um I have to do all the things.
12:45
SPEAKER_02: It's like I I don't trust either myself or I don't trust other people to deliver a product that's as good as how I envision it in my head.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that makes sense.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: Because something I I hear is, you know, everybody's not gonna see the vision.
13:01
SPEAKER_02: No, they're not supposed to.
13:03
SPEAKER_00: Right.
13:04
SPEAKER_00: And I think when that is stated, it's like a realization of you're correct.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: And then that's when we fall into that space of if I don't, then who?
13:16
SPEAKER_00: If you know, it it kind of it kind of reminds me of like my mom and my grandma, you know, they say clean the kitchen.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: And as boys, we just clean the dishes.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: We don't think about the stove, we don't think about the counter, we're not sweeping anything.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: So when it comes back to I said clean the kitchen, we're like, I I did.
13:37
SPEAKER_00: Because we're only thinking about the things that we know we messed up, the things that we know are dirty, the things that we know need to be done.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: Like food is cooked.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: We don't think about, oh, you know, something may have spilled on the stove or grab the spoon and put it in there.
13:54
SPEAKER_00: And we don't think take the food out of the pot and put it in a bowl and put it in the fridge.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: No, we put the whole pot in the fridge.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: So it's it's kind of like that.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: Um when it comes to other people seeing the vision.
14:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: You know, and I know I'm not the only person because that's why, you know, you have the business that you have.
14:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:16
SPEAKER_00: And when you get people that that think like that or that know this reality and don't realize that there's another reality that can be created from it, um, what is like a common theme or common statement that you get from people like me?
14:36
SPEAKER_02: Before I'm working with them?
14:38
SPEAKER_00: When they when you basically break down the everybody's not gonna see the vision, however, you need to trust people to be who they are gonna be in that spike, in that space.
14:48
SPEAKER_04: Um is that making sense?
14:49
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: Because that was a lot in my head.
14:56
SPEAKER_02: Um a lot of like, oh pause.
15:01
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to do that.
15:04
SPEAKER_02: Right, because that's scary, right?
15:06
SPEAKER_02: Like if they're not trusting people on their team, they're not trusting people in the rest of their life.
15:13
SPEAKER_02: Like, it's not like we show up as different humans in business or work or and our personal lives.
15:19
SPEAKER_02: We're the same person with the same limiting beliefs, it's just showing up differently.
15:25
SPEAKER_02: Um so I'll dive into like where is the trust gap there and how do we close that and what's gonna make them feel comfortable?
15:36
SPEAKER_02: And what does this person have to exhibit or bring to the table to be able to um to create that trust?
15:46
SPEAKER_02: And how is that person communicating to them?
15:49
SPEAKER_02: Because a lot of times um when there is that trust gap, they'll the new person or the person that they're they're bringing on, um, or existing team member who potentially has like a new responsibility, as soon as they mess up or make a mistake, which we're human and we we uh make mistakes all the time, especially when you're new in a role, like that's normal, but the business owner will be like now I have to do it myself.
16:22
SPEAKER_02: See?
16:24
SPEAKER_00: So we have kind of I don't put people in places, but well, and my son said No, I'm not saying me.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was tagging along with what you said.
16:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
16:35
SPEAKER_02: No, no.
16:36
SPEAKER_02: My son said, just to give perspective too, because he's um developed teams over the last couple of years, like it really takes a year for somebody to onboard and be completely proficient.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: That makes sense.
16:54
SPEAKER_00: Can I jump in right here?
16:55
SPEAKER_00: So I turn the mic on first down.
16:57
SPEAKER_00: Now we uh no, are you?
17:00
SPEAKER_00: I can't see it.
17:00
SPEAKER_03: You know, I don't so are you and your son, yeah, kind of operate like a family business, but not like like you spill your knowledge over into him.
17:09
SPEAKER_02: Oh, 100%.
17:10
SPEAKER_02: And he now is at a place where he can share knowledge with me.
17:14
SPEAKER_03: Nice, yeah.
17:15
SPEAKER_03: I love that.
17:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, uh, we jam when we're in person, we'll jam all day on the meaning of life, how to solve the world's problems and business.
17:27
SPEAKER_02: And it's so much fun.
17:29
SPEAKER_03: I bet.
17:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, it takes us a while to um kind of look at our parents as humans and not just our mom or our dad.
17:37
SPEAKER_02: He says that to me last, he's 27.
17:40
SPEAKER_02: Um, so he was almost 27 last uh Christmas.
17:45
SPEAKER_02: And we were at um a restaurant sitting at the bar, and he's like, you know, um, because both my kids call me Emmy.
17:55
SPEAKER_02: He's like, I realized that like you're your own person and like an individual, not just my mom.
18:01
SPEAKER_02: Recently.
18:02
SPEAKER_02: I was like, oh surprise.
18:08
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, thanks.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: Yes, I'm multidimensional, like I have other identities and other things going on besides like just being your mom.
18:17
SPEAKER_02: And um he was he was really funny about it because he it was kind of like this light bulb moment for him.
18:26
SPEAKER_02: And I think I parented very atypically because I gave both of my kids a lot of leeway to mess up.
18:32
SPEAKER_02: I created places for them to fail, um, particularly in high school.
18:37
SPEAKER_02: I did not um follow them around, like um, you know, checking in all the time, and a lot of independence to make decisions based on who like they thought they were and have boundaries, and um it so far it's paid off well.
18:57
SPEAKER_02: Yes, both of them are really like together humans who are clear about what they want and um where they want to go, and they're both very different.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, that's that's kind of like me with my daughter.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: Every time I think about her, she's turning 20 in December.
19:19
SPEAKER_00: I have an almost 20-year-old, and I know when I was growing up, there was like curfew restrictions, can't do this, don't do that.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: But I know what that does to you.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: And just the me and the people that I've seen is like an I'll show you type thing.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: You know, you can't do this, and it's like, okay, watch me.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I don't want my kids to, in a sense, have that resentment towards whatever this is, because then childhood trauma that becomes your way of life.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: You know, you're too busy trying to prove somebody wrong instead of just proving yourself right.
19:59
SPEAKER_00: That makes sense.
20:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, I think parenting was very authoritarian as a Gen Xer.
20:07
SPEAKER_02: And I'm one of those people too, where you start telling me it can't do anything, that like, uh-uh.
20:14
SPEAKER_02: Like I would get in trouble for something, and my parents would would we would have whatever conversation I was in trouble about, and you can't do this, and I told you no, and you can bet your ass that like that as soon as I left that house, the first thing I was gonna go do was whatever they told me I couldn't do.
20:32
SPEAKER_01: Right.
20:33
SPEAKER_02: And like that's just my personality, and I'm not saying it's a good thing all the time.
20:38
SPEAKER_02: True, right?
20:38
SPEAKER_02: It does create a space where I am open to trying things and being outside of the box, which is really beneficial.
20:47
SPEAKER_02: It also makes me contrarian at times where if I just followed along, it'd be a lot easier.
20:52
SPEAKER_02: So, but it's that experience um of like, all right.
20:59
SPEAKER_02: Well, I don't want to be authoritarian with my kids, really led me to be, um, and they're both very, as I said, different and different, like neurodivergent, different as well.
21:12
SPEAKER_02: Um so I wanted to be their mentor and guider, not the person who was telling them what to do, because I believe that we all inherently know what's best for us.
21:24
SPEAKER_02: And um, it was so much fun and really challenging because they were so different.
21:30
SPEAKER_02: And um, whatever worked for one kid definitely didn't work for the second one, but also just understanding, like being in this journey of, oh, that's what you need, and this is what is gonna really help you um move through whatever we're navigating at the time.
21:46
SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah.
21:54
SPEAKER_02: Let me really like understand who you are and not who I think you are.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: And I agree.
22:02
SPEAKER_00: I tell people you have to know who you're talking to and who you're dealing with.
22:07
SPEAKER_00: That way you know how to interact and respond.
22:10
SPEAKER_00: You know, and I say a lot of times, like, I can't talk to in this situation, I can't talk to Shamar the way I would talk to Dom or Dina or John.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: I can't talk to my daughter the same way I would talk to my baby boy, and I can't talk to my baby boy the same way I talk to my oldest son.
22:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: You know, you have to know who you're talking to, who you're, you know, interacting with so you can respond accordingly.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: Some people need that harsh tone.
22:38
SPEAKER_00: Other people, they need that real soft voice.
22:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:41
SPEAKER_00: And then it's just the word choice.
22:43
SPEAKER_00: You know, you can't tell some people that's stupid.
22:46
SPEAKER_00: Why would you do that?
22:48
SPEAKER_00: Other people you have to tell them that was stupid.
22:51
SPEAKER_02: Older child, I would use some version of that.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: You know, so I I I like I like this conversation because I'm I'm feeling like, well, maybe I'm not that bad.
23:05
SPEAKER_02: You're great.
23:07
SPEAKER_02: Thanks.
23:07
SPEAKER_02: You're great.
23:08
SPEAKER_02: And I mean what I'm hearing and what I believe is like I don't want to put what I think the world looks like and what I believe like my kids or anybody should be doing on them.
23:22
SPEAKER_02: Because yes, I might have some wisdom and I might be able to give guidance and suggestions, but they're them.
23:32
SPEAKER_02: They know what their path is.
23:34
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
23:35
SPEAKER_00: And then they turn into these adults that you know we work with.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: You know, we we all have clients.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: And again, we can't speak to every client the same way.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: You know, the clients that we have that are like born and raised in like the northern area, the northeast, we can't talk to them the same way the the clients are in California or Florida because there's a different culture in these spaces.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: I think it's got something to do with the temperature, but you know, maybe it's just me.
24:08
SPEAKER_02: Well, I've spent a lot of time with people, like I mirror their tone and the my voice will speed up.
24:14
SPEAKER_02: But sometimes if I have somebody who's like super anxious or super whatever, and we'll be at that level together, I'll swear a lot more with somebody who's constantly dropping F bombs and I slow down and I'll speak more intentionally for the people who like that's where they're at.
24:30
SPEAKER_02: And it makes them comfortable, but it builds that bond and that trust really quickly too.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it does.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: I I know a lot of times when I talk, I take a lot of pauses, and not necessarily because I'm trying to make sure that I say the right thing, it's because I need them to understand that sometimes you also just need to slow down.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, I can run rampant with you.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: I can, I can spit as whatever it is that needs to be, you know, set.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: I can go there.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: But I also feel I'm gonna give you what you're giving me.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: You know, you have a coworker and they're just like so mad and upset.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: So you're trying to calm them down without saying, hey man, calm down.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: And and I'm speaking from experience because this happened a couple months ago.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay, well, tell me what's going on.
25:16
SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, tell me what happened.
25:18
SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, did you try this?
25:19
SPEAKER_00: Did you try that?
25:20
SPEAKER_00: And he was just, he just exploded.
25:23
SPEAKER_00: So I met him where he was, and after I did that, because it came from me, somebody that's not, he's never seen me go there, he's like, Oh, I guess I messed up.
25:33
SPEAKER_00: He kind of like just sat down and sat back.
25:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, now if you listen to what I'm trying to tell you, maybe you can understand what I'm asking you.
25:40
SPEAKER_00: Listen with your ears and stop trying to figure out how to respond.
25:43
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Hey man, I appreciate that, man.
25:46
SPEAKER_00: You're right, you're right.
25:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
25:48
SPEAKER_00: And you know, you meet people where they are, you know.
25:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
25:51
SPEAKER_00: And I don't think a lot of people do that.
25:53
SPEAKER_00: And then even with going back to, you know, the business owner, you hired these people, so you have to know enough about them of what their strengths and weaknesses are, convey the vision better than what you're doing.
26:07
SPEAKER_00: Because most employees they don't ask questions, they just say, Oh, I was given a task and I gotta try not to mess this up.
26:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:16
SPEAKER_02: You know, well, embody the vision.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
26:18
SPEAKER_02: Like I do a lot of mission, vision, core values work.
26:22
SPEAKER_02: And I know there's different feelings about it depending on who you are.
26:26
SPEAKER_02: But for me, if you're clear about communicating them, you're communicating them regularly, you're embodying especially the values, and you have a definition that everybody agrees on.
26:39
SPEAKER_02: I like to use integrity because if we were going to be in a room of 20 people, everybody would have a different definition of integrity.
26:47
SPEAKER_02: So just having the word isn't enough.
26:50
SPEAKER_02: You've got to define it so that everybody understands what that means and then use it.
26:55
SPEAKER_02: Like use it in your team meeting, use it in your job descriptions, use it in how you're doing your work, make it a make it a metric.
27:04
SPEAKER_02: Like, are we on a scale of one to 10 embodying these things that we say we want to be?
27:09
SPEAKER_02: And when you start doing that and it becomes more automatic, it um it really changes the decisions that you're making and how you grow the business.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, one word is not enough.
27:23
SPEAKER_02: No, no, and limit the core values for anybody who was like, oh, I should do this three to five, not seven.
27:30
SPEAKER_02: Like too many words is too hard.
27:33
SPEAKER_02: And you get then you get into decision fatigue.
27:35
SPEAKER_02: So I recommend three to five words.
27:38
SPEAKER_00: I like the number three, because if I remember correctly, um, these are more stable when there are three legs on them.
27:47
SPEAKER_00: Hence the C stands, not pole.
27:52
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
27:53
SPEAKER_00: Three three points is it's a lot more of a stronger base than having the four.
27:58
SPEAKER_00: And I guess it's also a thing with odd numbers, too.
28:01
SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm going left on this one because when you have an even number, there's easily a way to oh it didn't do it today.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I did it good.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: Okay, normally this thing rocks a little bit, so I guess I put it in the right place.
28:14
SPEAKER_00: So uh example avoid it.
28:16
SPEAKER_00: Uh don't worry about it.
28:18
SPEAKER_00: But but uh it's like having that odd number makes things sit well.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: So I like the number three.
28:28
SPEAKER_02: Three's good, keep it simple.
28:30
SPEAKER_02: We overcomplicate everything, right?
28:32
SPEAKER_00: Don't give people too much, you know.
28:34
SPEAKER_00: Some people are there just to work, other people are there because they see the vision and they want to be there.
28:41
SPEAKER_02: They can all embody the vision in their own way, like that's but it's sharing it, right?
28:47
SPEAKER_02: And a lot of companies for a while were putting stuff on the walls, and that's lovely, and it becomes a white noise at some point, unless you're bringing it to life intentionally.
29:00
SPEAKER_00: So you thirsty, Ted?
29:03
SPEAKER_00: Just a little bit.
29:05
SPEAKER_00: Made me stop talking, so I had to stop.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: So you've been doing this for over a decade.
29:13
SPEAKER_02: Forever.
29:15
SPEAKER_00: Um that's how I feel about I say I'm gonna call it holding the camera because I've done so many things with the camera.
29:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's been almost two decades.
29:27
SPEAKER_00: Me and Shamar collectively has been almost three decades.
29:33
SPEAKER_00: That's like a lot.
29:36
SPEAKER_03: Take me and coach.
29:37
SPEAKER_00: Anywho.
29:38
SPEAKER_03: You know what I'm saying?
29:39
SPEAKER_03: I started this thing in 07.
29:41
SPEAKER_03: 07.
29:42
SPEAKER_03: Give me my 22.
29:43
SPEAKER_03: Can I get my 20?
29:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:45
SPEAKER_03: All right.
29:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
29:47
SPEAKER_03: So let's say 50.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: Collectively, we in there.
29:51
SPEAKER_00: Because I started about 08, sitting in my room holding this candy T3i, taking pictures in the dark.
30:00
SPEAKER_00: Mine don't look like that.
30:02
SPEAKER_02: You ain't got no light.
30:03
SPEAKER_02: See, this is amazing because you both do the thing that would like I can't, I mean, I could, but would never do well and don't have the patience for.
30:15
SPEAKER_00: You'd be surprised of what goes into quality.
30:18
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I've edited things, video things.
30:21
SPEAKER_02: It's no, there's a lot of swearing coming out of my mouth.
30:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh no.
30:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, no.
30:27
SPEAKER_02: See that instantaneous zero to like 5,000 frustration level.
30:31
SPEAKER_02: It's like that.
30:32
SPEAKER_02: So I have such an appreciation for how you both make it look so effortless and beautiful.
30:39
SPEAKER_00: If only she knew.
30:40
SPEAKER_00: Love, love.
30:42
SPEAKER_03: Thank you though.
30:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
30:43
SPEAKER_03: I feel like you just stumbled into a thing, though.
30:45
SPEAKER_03: It's like sometimes folks default to trying to correct their, I don't want to say weaknesses, but areas of improvement instead of just leaning into what they're already naturally good at and just doubling down on that.
30:59
SPEAKER_02: So an angel thing.
31:01
SPEAKER_02: No, it's not.
31:02
SPEAKER_02: And it won't ever be.
31:07
SPEAKER_02: And I'm okay.
31:07
SPEAKER_02: I'm okay with that.
31:09
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
31:10
SPEAKER_00: You know, and you know, you said um not uh not their weaknesses.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: What did you call it?
31:19
SPEAKER_01: Areas of improvement.
31:20
SPEAKER_00: But this was one of my quote unquote areas of improvement.
31:24
SPEAKER_00: Like I knew I needed to be in front of a camera talking to people, but it was always a thing of no, because I don't want to talk.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be on camera.
31:36
SPEAKER_00: Whatever is said and captured, that's quote unquote etched in stone, you know.
31:40
SPEAKER_00: But then the realization of you can always go back and be like, hey, I apologize.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: I said something wrong, I got it wrong.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: My bad, you know, in the comments on YouTube or whatever, you know, walking around calling things on YouTube.
31:53
SPEAKER_00: Oh man, hey, get that poll for me.
31:55
SPEAKER_00: And it's really a light stand, you know, get the tripod.
32:00
SPEAKER_00: I had somebody call a monopod a tripod because it had three feet, and I'm no, it's not never mind.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: But you know, we digress, yes, so it's like I hear what you're saying, like, yeah, get somebody else to do it, but sometimes you might need to work on it, but at the same time, when you get to a certain level, you do need to just pass things off.
32:29
SPEAKER_00: And when you do, Dom and I, Shamar and I, we are here.
32:33
SPEAKER_00: You need a photographer, we got you.
32:36
SPEAKER_00: You need a videographer, you know we got you.
32:38
SPEAKER_00: You need a studio, we got you.
32:41
SPEAKER_00: Is there anything I'm missing, Dom?
32:43
SPEAKER_00: Strategy.
32:44
SPEAKER_00: If you need business strategy, you need strategy, you need help with life.
32:49
SPEAKER_00: We got you.
32:53
SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes we do become a therapist.
32:56
SPEAKER_02: Oh, my clients refer to me as a business therapist all the time.
32:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we because you're holding space for people.
33:03
SPEAKER_02: Yes, like the work you're doing, you're you're capturing them in a way that that they can't do on their own.
33:11
SPEAKER_02: And that's magical and really cool.
33:14
SPEAKER_02: And again, there's the trust piece, but you have to get to know somebody, build that trust, and then excavate all of their delicious goodness in a really quick short period of time.
33:27
SPEAKER_02: That takes talent.
33:29
SPEAKER_02: And then you have to go back and do all of this magical stuff over there that I don't even want to know how you're doing and be very detailed about it.
33:39
SPEAKER_00: Yes, because I'm big on detail.
33:40
SPEAKER_00: When I tell you it took me maybe an hour to get this the way that it is now, I'm willing to bet you I'm gonna look back and be like, I understand.
33:50
SPEAKER_02: I understand.
33:51
SPEAKER_02: When I do my burn dinners, I have I'm gonna call it old-fashioned because I don't think people have China anymore, except for me.
34:00
SPEAKER_02: Um and yeah, you know, you used to get the 12 place settings when you got married and all that stuff.
34:07
SPEAKER_00: We still have hours.
34:08
SPEAKER_02: I have two sets now because I have my mom's.
34:10
SPEAKER_02: If you had asked me five years ago, I've been like, why would I need that?
34:14
SPEAKER_02: And now I'm like so super excited because I have this whole story to tell.
34:17
SPEAKER_02: And I digress.
34:18
SPEAKER_02: But um my China's cream with gold rim, and then it has a white, like floral pattern on it that's very faint.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
34:27
SPEAKER_02: Nobody except for me probably knows it's there or that there's an up and a down.
34:31
SPEAKER_02: And I every time I use it, I set every plate so that floral pattern is exactly at 12 and six.
34:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, even though I'm layering it with like a soup bowl or a napkin or something else.
34:46
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, that table setting takes forever.
34:49
SPEAKER_02: Where I'm gonna say normal people would just put the plates down.
34:54
SPEAKER_02: But it's for me, it's the experience.
34:56
SPEAKER_02: Like all those details matter because people walk in and they're like, oh my God, this is beautiful.
35:00
SPEAKER_02: And look, this little thing you did, and look at over here.
35:03
SPEAKER_02: And it creates a sense of uniqueness and specialness, which is what I want the evening to be.
35:09
SPEAKER_02: This isn't your everyday dinner.
35:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and uh, you know, it's kind of like how chefs they create this plate, and if it's off just a tad, it's like they have to redo the whole thing.
35:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
35:22
SPEAKER_00: Because we know we're gonna put this plate down, and regardless of what it looks like, somebody's gonna eat it.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: But we're focused on the presentation.
35:31
SPEAKER_00: You know, um, you you see uh on social media where people are like, we spent 10 hours working on one thing that nobody's gonna notice except another video editor or another photographer or videographer.
35:45
SPEAKER_00: Like when you've been doing something for so long, you can just look and say, I know what he did.
35:51
SPEAKER_00: I know what she did.
35:53
SPEAKER_00: You can tell when somebody cropped a picture, you can tell when somebody zoomed in on the video, you can tell when somebody messed up and had to go in and like really doctor something.
36:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
36:06
SPEAKER_00: And most people would be like, I thought it was a great video.
36:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, nah, he messed up five times.
36:11
SPEAKER_00: Y'all missed it.
36:12
SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
36:12
SPEAKER_00: I caught it.
36:13
SPEAKER_00: I heard it.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: That's not easy.
36:15
SPEAKER_03: So you're not showing Grace out here?
36:18
SPEAKER_00: Not showing who?
36:19
SPEAKER_00: Grace.
36:19
SPEAKER_00: Not today.
36:20
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
36:21
SPEAKER_00: That's wild.
36:22
SPEAKER_03: Well, I didn't call any names, so I'm just saying, it just seemed a little harsh.
36:27
SPEAKER_03: You're like, nah, yo, that person messed up.
36:28
SPEAKER_03: I'm sure they put their heart into it, Tay.
36:30
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm sure they did.
36:32
SPEAKER_03: They overlooked something.
36:33
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
36:33
SPEAKER_00: That's what we'll call.
36:35
SPEAKER_00: They overlooked it.
36:36
SPEAKER_00: So they got it correct, though.
36:37
SPEAKER_00: They fixed it.
36:38
SPEAKER_00: I'll give you credit for fixing it.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: Now, if they would have just left it, no grace giving at all.
36:43
SPEAKER_00: You know you did that wrong.
36:45
SPEAKER_00: You know.
36:46
SPEAKER_00: But I'm not gonna lie, like, there's been times where I'm shot and I'm like, this is the wrong color profile.
36:54
unknown: Oh.
36:55
SPEAKER_00: But I know how to fix it.
36:57
SPEAKER_02: Yes, I know how to fix it.
36:59
SPEAKER_02: You have really high standards, fix an impulse.
37:01
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
37:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
37:02
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: High standards, don't we dumb?
37:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
37:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh uh well, I'm just gonna go down the path at this point.
37:11
SPEAKER_02: But I mean, I've been told my entire life, like, your standards are too high, your standards are too high.
37:15
SPEAKER_02: Why do you make things so challenging?
37:17
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, this is me being me.
37:20
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
37:21
SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, my standards might be high.
37:22
SPEAKER_02: And yes, I may be a little neurotic about my plates, but at the same time, like, why do I have to come down?
37:29
SPEAKER_02: Why aren't you leveling up?
37:31
SPEAKER_02: Like, why aren't you like, oh, hey, there's a gap, and I could move into some of this too in my own way?
37:36
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't have to be like like Emmy or Ty or Dime or anybody else.
37:41
SPEAKER_02: Like, just it's okay to level up.
37:45
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
37:46
SPEAKER_03: Why settle for mediocrity?
37:48
SPEAKER_03: And it's I think we need a I think we need a moment for that.
37:52
SPEAKER_02: We need to what?
37:53
SPEAKER_03: We need a moment.
37:53
SPEAKER_03: Why?
37:54
SPEAKER_03: Because why settle for mediocrity?
37:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
37:56
SPEAKER_03: Why?
37:56
SPEAKER_03: Why are you so comfortable there?
37:58
SPEAKER_03: Because that's what we're being taught.
38:02
SPEAKER_03: I don't like it.
38:04
SPEAKER_03: I don't like it at all.
38:05
SPEAKER_03: Like, I understand capacity.
38:06
SPEAKER_03: It's like you may only have the capacity to get to this level.
38:10
SPEAKER_03: And in my mind, I'm thinking, yo, you got potential to go up here, but there's still capacity, but you might be here.
38:16
SPEAKER_03: You didn't even reach your capacity yet.
38:17
SPEAKER_04: Right.
38:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
38:18
SPEAKER_02: It's like just up a tiny notch, not 12 notches.
38:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we're not asking you to take a big jump or big leap, you know, just one step.
38:30
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's great.
38:32
SPEAKER_00: That just fell perfectly on time.
38:37
SPEAKER_03: Y'all, the tripod over there is we do home.
38:42
SPEAKER_00: It just fell.
38:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's been sitting there all morning.
38:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so we're just gonna leave that there.
38:51
unknown: But yeah.
38:52
SPEAKER_02: See what else we can get to fall.
38:53
SPEAKER_00: Right.
38:55
SPEAKER_00: So I I'm one of those people that can see other people's potential.
38:59
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
39:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, because again, as a visionary, I I can see where you can be, you know, and like Dom said, you you might be here, but this is your maximum capacity.
39:13
SPEAKER_00: And while we're here, you're asking us why are we not coming down it when you set a high standard for yourself?
39:22
SPEAKER_02: Right.
39:23
SPEAKER_00: It's literally for yourself.
39:25
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm not expecting my level of expertise to be the same as Dom's.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: Dom's might be higher, it might be lower, you know.
39:35
SPEAKER_00: But like you say, when like Dom said, when you have a capacity, can you get to your capacity?
39:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
39:41
SPEAKER_00: You know, and something else I say too is like people speak from their experience.
39:46
SPEAKER_00: They speak from what they know they can do.
39:48
SPEAKER_02: 100%.
39:50
SPEAKER_00: And that's when you have that statement of yeah, why are you trying so hard?
39:54
SPEAKER_02: Right.
39:55
SPEAKER_02: And for me, it's not about judgment of where that person's at.
40:01
SPEAKER_02: Um they may be judging me, but they're really not, they're really judging themselves.
40:07
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
40:08
SPEAKER_02: Right.
40:09
SPEAKER_02: Because I'm not asking them to level up to me, I'm asking them to for them to be their best selves.
40:15
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
40:16
SPEAKER_02: Right.
40:17
SPEAKER_02: And it's like me cooking and my my plate and like your attention to detail here.
40:25
SPEAKER_02: If you asked me to do any of this stuff, um even if I had some knowledge of all the things that need to happen, right?
40:37
SPEAKER_02: And I spent a week studying, my ability in that moment isn't going to be yours because you have two decades and I have a week.
40:49
SPEAKER_02: But that doesn't mean that my expectation of myself can't be at a really high level, right?
40:57
SPEAKER_02: Where like, oh, I want to learn this, which I don't just for record, because just to let y'all know.
41:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:03
SPEAKER_00: And we say she's gonna sit in this scene.
41:06
SPEAKER_00: I rate at the talking part.
41:08
SPEAKER_00: Right.
41:09
SPEAKER_02: But I can still want to be better, right?
41:14
SPEAKER_02: In whatever areas I choose.
41:16
SPEAKER_02: And it doesn't have to look like however anybody else wants it.
41:20
SPEAKER_02: But I feel like people are just like, oh, like this mediocrity, this like those high standards like aren't something that I can reach, and that's self-limiting.
41:33
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
41:34
SPEAKER_02: And it doesn't mean high standards have to be in every aspect of your life either.
41:39
SPEAKER_02: No, right?
41:40
SPEAKER_02: Like, not everything is equal in every moment.
41:44
SPEAKER_02: Now I'm hitting it.
41:46
SPEAKER_02: I'll just move it around.
41:49
SPEAKER_02: So and hopefully that makes sense.
41:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, yeah, because like you know, you're saying, you know, the week compared to a decade.
41:58
SPEAKER_00: When I got here, I just knew how to use my camera.
42:03
SPEAKER_00: The most that I've done at that time was a documentary and music videos.
42:10
SPEAKER_00: I've done a lot of music videos, and with that, it doesn't matter if the camera shakes a little bit, you know, because that's part of what goes into music videos.
42:20
SPEAKER_00: Documentary is sitting on a tripod and you have your interviewer, you know, off camera, you know, angled off camera.
42:27
SPEAKER_00: There's a proper term for that, y'all.
42:29
SPEAKER_00: I don't remember what it is right now, so don't come for me.
42:32
SPEAKER_00: Um, but that was like all I knew.
42:36
SPEAKER_00: So when it was like, hey, we're in a podcast studio, we need to have a podcast to let people know we know what we're doing.
42:44
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, how am I supposed to do that?
42:47
SPEAKER_00: So it took me time, it took me rushed knowledge.
42:52
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, like you said, your son says it takes a year.
42:55
SPEAKER_00: I had to force that year into like two months.
43:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
43:01
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, yes, you you have that level.
43:05
SPEAKER_00: You need to bring yourself up.
43:07
SPEAKER_00: But no, I'm not gonna do it the same way that somebody else would that has only done podcasting, you know, five, ten years plus.
43:16
SPEAKER_00: Like somebody that's been doing it that long can look at this and be like, oh no, he needs to tighten up this shot, widen that shot, this, that, and the third.
43:24
SPEAKER_00: And I'm open to you know, opinions, feedback, you know, but you got to give yourself that space to do it as well.
43:33
SPEAKER_00: So, yeah.
43:36
SPEAKER_02: 100%.
43:37
SPEAKER_00: I saw somebody walking past the window.
43:40
SPEAKER_02: Hello, people.
43:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he's gone.
43:44
SPEAKER_00: So when you sit with your your clients, um, you said they already called you their their business therapist, right?
43:54
SPEAKER_02: Some of them do.
43:55
SPEAKER_00: When they come to you, how How do I want to word this?
44:03
SPEAKER_00: How much do they know that they may be the bottleneck or are the bottleneck for their own business?
44:10
SPEAKER_02: For the most part, they know.
44:12
SPEAKER_02: Because otherwise they would think that everything's great and that there isn't room for improvement.
44:19
SPEAKER_00: So they come to you and say, hey, I'm the problem.
44:22
SPEAKER_00: Fix me.
44:23
SPEAKER_02: They don't necessarily say that.
44:26
SPEAKER_00: It's not in those words.
44:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:29
SPEAKER_02: I want to grow and I keep hiring the wrong person.
44:33
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what to do.
44:37
SPEAKER_02: I'm tired of working 12-hour days.
44:40
SPEAKER_02: I haven't taken a vacation in four years.
44:43
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know how to step back.
44:46
SPEAKER_02: Um trying to think of what else I say.
44:53
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes they come to me because they're like, I know I'm not leading to the best of my ability.
44:58
SPEAKER_02: And um I want to dial that in.
45:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:04
SPEAKER_00: That's good.
45:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:06
SPEAKER_02: Like I can't help them if they don't want to be helped.
45:11
SPEAKER_02: Right?
45:11
SPEAKER_02: Like bring horse to water.
45:13
SPEAKER_02: Horse has to drink.
45:15
SPEAKER_02: Horse doesn't drink, then yeah.
45:18
unknown: Okay.
45:19
SPEAKER_00: Right.
45:19
SPEAKER_02: And I can't want it more than they do because I've I've had that where I'm like, come on, let's go.
45:25
SPEAKER_02: This is amazing.
45:26
SPEAKER_00: I do.
45:27
SPEAKER_02: It really has to be at their pace, particularly with the like more of the mindset identity belief system.
45:34
SPEAKER_02: Because you don't just excavate that and boom, we're all changed.
45:38
SPEAKER_02: Like that's a that's a slow, at least in my experience, a slow process because there's you handle one thing and then um, or one area, one belief piece, but it shows back up in different layers.
45:54
SPEAKER_02: And when I first started doing mindset work um on myself, I still remember because I was sitting with my coach and whatever it was, like like I was like, but I dealt with that.
46:07
SPEAKER_02: And she's like, Oh, honey.
46:10
SPEAKER_00: You think you dealt with that?
46:12
SPEAKER_02: Humans are an onion.
46:13
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, no, I'm not very defensive, huh?
46:16
SPEAKER_02: Oh, argumentative.
46:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
46:19
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, we checked the to-do box.
46:22
SPEAKER_02: Right.
46:23
SPEAKER_02: And she's like, no, you get to have like this experience until you're fully like complete in um letting it go and you're not like doing the behavior anymore.
46:39
SPEAKER_02: And even then it may show up, and it's a good thing because you're gonna not be as upset about it um every time you're gonna know and have the tools to reframe and to correct and um and shift a lot faster.
46:57
SPEAKER_02: And at some point it'll show up and it's just not gonna bother you.
47:01
SPEAKER_02: And she was right, like that's what I've experienced and what I've seen my clients experience.
47:07
SPEAKER_02: But we're onions and we have our entire lifetimes to peel back all those layers of the onion and and grow, which is really frustrating and annoying, and also like so spectacular because there's no race to be perfect.
47:26
SPEAKER_00: That's deep.
47:28
SPEAKER_00: Peel back the layers.
47:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because some of them top layers are a little dirty, they're a little tainted.
47:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
47:37
SPEAKER_02: But when you get in to like the core layers, yes, things happen really quickly.
47:42
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
47:43
SPEAKER_02: So, and and the emotion around it isn't there.
47:47
SPEAKER_02: And that's when you know you've really handled and you've like the whatever you're working on, um, there's real like real, true, complete growth.
47:58
SPEAKER_00: Well said.
47:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:00
SPEAKER_03: You're no longer triggered by those things, like you're no longer reacting.
48:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
48:04
SPEAKER_03: You're just aware of what's happening in the moment.
48:06
SPEAKER_02: And then they stop happening too.
48:09
SPEAKER_02: So um, yeah, the universe keeps keeps giving you the same problems until you handle it in different shapes and forms and challenges.
48:19
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
48:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:22
SPEAKER_02: And I don't like whenever I'm in those experiences, it's really uncomfortable.
48:27
SPEAKER_02: Don't love it.
48:29
SPEAKER_02: And I'm in a place now where I'm like, oh, look at me having this experience.
48:33
SPEAKER_02: Um what can I learn from it?
48:36
SPEAKER_02: Like, what am I here to take away from it as opposed to being upset and angry about well, they're still upset, but not in the like, why is this happening to me?
48:46
SPEAKER_02: It's whatever the upset of that experience is.
48:50
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I almost enjoy them now.
48:54
SPEAKER_02: Almost.
48:55
SPEAKER_00: Almost.
48:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:58
SPEAKER_00: So, so Emmy, Emmy, Emmy, I know you've been doing as long as you've been doing this, I'm pretty sure.
49:05
SPEAKER_00: Um there's a lot of this.
49:08
SPEAKER_00: But when it comes to having and getting support for the things that you do and how you help people, how how has your support been from friends, families, and colleagues?
49:23
SPEAKER_02: Friends, fantastic.
49:24
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I hang out with mostly entrepreneurs, so they they get it.
49:28
SPEAKER_00: They get it.
49:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
49:30
SPEAKER_02: Um I think my dad understands what I do.
49:35
SPEAKER_02: Um and I'm I think the only business owner in many generations.
49:43
SPEAKER_02: Like my great-grandfather owned a hardware store way back in the like 1940s.
49:48
SPEAKER_02: So that mindset um, well, my son gets because my older son gets because he has the same thing.
49:56
SPEAKER_02: Um I they don't they don't get, and they're far more supportive now from like an emotional, you know, I'm in the weeds with work and like things are going on, like and um we'll check in.
50:11
SPEAKER_02: But I think initially when I first started my business, it's like, oh, Emmy's doing this thing that's just different.
50:18
SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, my friends get it.
50:22
SPEAKER_02: But I think for most business owners, like we operate in such a different way um and we love this thing, even when like everything's going wrong, that that's really unusual or very different mindset from somebody who's in a more corporate role where like their outcomes are tied to somebody else or something else.
50:47
SPEAKER_02: And owning a business is the most personal thing, and I think outside of having kids that you can do because it you have to really delve into every belief system and um that you have in order to make it successful.
51:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
51:07
unknown: Yeah.
51:08
SPEAKER_02: It's a great course in personal development.
51:11
SPEAKER_00: Is say that one more time?
51:12
SPEAKER_02: I said it's a great course in personal development.
51:14
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
51:16
SPEAKER_02: The best.
51:18
SPEAKER_00: You said what?
51:19
SPEAKER_00: It's the best.
51:20
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
51:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
51:22
SPEAKER_00: It's it's always great here.
51:25
SPEAKER_00: Always.
51:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
51:30
SPEAKER_03: I'm curious about that though.
51:31
SPEAKER_03: So if say you got a decade in, your family may not have been as supportive as you as you may have liked.
51:40
SPEAKER_03: I imagine you didn't have entrepreneur friends at the time.
51:42
SPEAKER_03: That came along the way.
51:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
51:45
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I've done a lot of networking over the last 13, 14 years, too.
51:51
SPEAKER_02: So you started hanging out with entrepreneurs or business owners before I really was a business owner.
51:57
SPEAKER_04: Okay, okay, okay.
51:58
SPEAKER_03: Um so they were already in your circle by the time you started.
52:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
52:02
SPEAKER_02: That doesn't mean that there weren't days where I was like, it'd be so much easier to get a J O B.
52:06
SPEAKER_04: Why am I doing this?
52:08
SPEAKER_04: How did you deal with the lack of support from your family enough to keep going?
52:12
SPEAKER_04: I don't think it mattered to me at that point.
52:14
SPEAKER_04: At all.
52:15
SPEAKER_02: No.
52:15
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
52:16
SPEAKER_02: Because I was like, not doing this path.
52:19
SPEAKER_02: Not.
52:20
SPEAKER_02: And really, like I the last time I had a real job was 1999.
52:27
SPEAKER_02: Just so now everybody knows how old I am when I had my kid.
52:31
SPEAKER_02: Like I've worked in catering.
52:33
SPEAKER_02: I worked at Starbucks when I was getting divorced, but I made my hours there.
52:38
SPEAKER_02: The marketing agency that I worked for, um, I could make my hours and I could bring my kids.
52:44
SPEAKER_02: We were in um my boss's house.
52:47
SPEAKER_02: He had converted his like walkout basement to offices.
52:51
SPEAKER_02: So I could bring my kids when they were sick and um couldn't go to school.
52:57
SPEAKER_02: So I've always had a lot of flexibility about when I work and how I work.
53:01
SPEAKER_02: So when people are like, oh, I've got to put in PTO, I'm like, what is that?
53:05
SPEAKER_02: Like I've forgotten about it.
53:07
SPEAKER_00: Right.
53:08
SPEAKER_02: And I've had so much autonomy around my schedule and what I want to do that um doing anything else at this point would be crazy.
53:21
SPEAKER_02: And I probably would be terrible at it.
53:24
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, that's that's kind of where I'm at right now.
53:28
SPEAKER_00: Like, if I could do this all day, every day.
53:32
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
53:33
SPEAKER_00: You know, I love it, you know, um, events, uh portrait sessions, um anything holding a camera.
53:44
SPEAKER_00: Now sometimes I hate the editing room, but there are moments where I'm like, There are some days where the editing room is like I'm pretty sure Don, you've seen it, but you know, the the editing room is like all these colors on the screen.
54:03
SPEAKER_00: There's only one light that's like hanging over the computer monitors, and everything is black.
54:08
SPEAKER_00: And when I'm dialed in and I'm locked into that edit, I don't hear or see anything except for what's coming out of my speakers and what's on their screen.
54:19
SPEAKER_00: And when I'm done, sometimes I'm like, I don't know.
54:24
SPEAKER_00: This one is a little iffy.
54:25
SPEAKER_00: Let me get another set of eyes on it.
54:28
SPEAKER_00: But there are moments where I sit and I'm like, I'm just proud of what I accomplished.
54:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're creating stuff.
54:37
SPEAKER_02: Yes, like you're making.
54:38
SPEAKER_02: That's what I love.
54:40
SPEAKER_02: Like I love the way I get to interact with my clients.
54:45
SPEAKER_02: And part of why I love cooking, and I keep like bringing it up is I like I get to make something.
54:49
SPEAKER_02: Like that's the art for me.
54:52
SPEAKER_02: Um, I have a background in catering.
54:54
SPEAKER_02: I've catered parties from like grandma's Sunday brunch for six to corporate parties of a thousand and everything in between.
55:04
SPEAKER_02: And you're making and create an experience, which I get to do with my clients in a number of different ways.
55:10
SPEAKER_02: And then when I get to cook for other people, not me, because it's not the same.
55:15
SPEAKER_02: But I'm I get to create this special moment that really encompasses all of the um all of the senses.
55:24
SPEAKER_02: And you're doing the same thing, like you're capturing something with sound that you can actually feel frequently frequently and visually.
55:33
SPEAKER_02: So like that's pretty cool.
55:36
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
55:36
SPEAKER_00: I I like making memorable moments.
55:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
55:40
SPEAKER_00: I like being able to deliver a um a project and it having replay value.
55:48
SPEAKER_00: You know, you don't want to record something and a whole event, and you give it to the client, and they're like, oh, that would that was that was nice.
55:57
SPEAKER_00: You know, you want them to be able to watch it, you know, five, ten years from now, like, man, I remember, and be able to put themselves back in that space again.
56:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
56:09
SPEAKER_00: You know, so I get it with the cooking.
56:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
56:12
SPEAKER_00: You know, because for me, cooking is one of those moments where I get to spend time with my oldest son because that's what he loves to do.
56:20
SPEAKER_00: You know, the baby boy, he's a food critic.
56:22
SPEAKER_00: No one asked him to be nobody asks him to judge anything that was cooked.
56:27
SPEAKER_00: And our biggest issue when he judges is when he's like halfway done with the first plate and he's asking for a second one.
56:34
SPEAKER_00: Like, dude.
56:36
SPEAKER_00: Can you finish that plate first?
56:39
SPEAKER_00: You know.
56:39
SPEAKER_00: Um food critic.
56:41
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
56:42
SPEAKER_02: That may have been like the statement of the day for me.
56:45
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
56:45
SPEAKER_00: Food critic.
56:49
SPEAKER_00: He's 12.
56:50
SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
56:51
SPEAKER_02: And it's like that's such a crazy age for boys.
56:55
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
56:56
SPEAKER_00: He had the nerve to tell me one day.
57:00
SPEAKER_00: I asked him why he didn't eat something.
57:02
SPEAKER_00: He was like, because I don't eat that.
57:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you've always eaten this.
57:06
SPEAKER_00: He says, oh, my taste buds changed.
57:09
SPEAKER_00: Your taste buds did not change.
57:12
SPEAKER_00: You just ate this last week.
57:14
SPEAKER_00: And you had three helpings of it.
57:16
SPEAKER_00: And your taste buds changed it.
57:17
SPEAKER_00: You just okay, okay.
57:19
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna digress from that conversation too.
57:21
SPEAKER_02: But I love that.
57:23
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
57:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
57:25
SPEAKER_02: My older guy was such a pain and and would say things like that.
57:29
SPEAKER_02: Like he was very independent, and this is my like my thing right this second.
57:36
SPEAKER_02: We just called him 12 for the entire year.
57:38
SPEAKER_02: Like we did not acknowledge him otherwise.
57:42
SPEAKER_02: Just to kind of like put him in his place a little bit, which he needed.
57:46
SPEAKER_02: He's a very strong will-driven person, which has created enormous success for him, but parenting him is a challenge, but wise, like he now we're colluding on business and saving the world.
57:58
SPEAKER_02: So nice.
57:59
SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's how I feel about my toy role.
58:02
SPEAKER_00: His his mind is just there.
58:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's great.
58:06
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, dude, for this sake of this conversation, let's let's let's bring it here.
58:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
58:12
SPEAKER_00: You know, and he got it honest because I can start a conversation, have a squirrel moment, and I done went left, and then trying to come back, I don't even know what direction I took to get where I'm at.
58:24
SPEAKER_00: Um help bring me back.
58:27
SPEAKER_00: And that's how my baby boy kind of is.
58:29
SPEAKER_00: So I have to like, okay, listen, wait, let's let's stay here for now.
58:34
SPEAKER_00: But yes, it happened.
58:35
SPEAKER_00: Kids and adults whose minds just go.
58:39
SPEAKER_00: Cause I've had conversations with Dom, and I brought up five, ten different things.
58:44
SPEAKER_00: The last episode that me and Dom did, she was like, wait, are we still talking about this?
58:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh, we're talking about something new, something new.
58:50
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, both?
58:52
SPEAKER_02: Yes, at the same time.
58:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
58:54
SPEAKER_02: Now let's see if we can like throw in that third conversation so that we can have this like three-way thing going on where we know what we're talking about, but nobody else does.
59:06
SPEAKER_00: Right.
59:06
SPEAKER_00: And you know, it sometimes it just has to happen.
59:10
SPEAKER_00: I I'm one of those that speaks my thoughts.
59:14
SPEAKER_00: And I think that might be what tripped Dom up on that episode we did.
59:18
SPEAKER_00: Because I was like, well, and then this, and I was like, but then, and Dom just she was, hey, we still recording?
59:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yeah.
59:27
SPEAKER_00: She's like, what are we talking about now?
59:30
SPEAKER_00: Dom, I don't know.
59:31
SPEAKER_00: It's an open conversation.
59:32
SPEAKER_00: It's we're here.
59:34
SPEAKER_00: You think this is gonna resonate with people?
59:36
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
59:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm not the only person, so I'm gonna resonate today.
59:40
SPEAKER_00: And Dom was like, okay.
59:43
SPEAKER_03: Because I'm thinking about the viewer and how they're gonna perceive what's what's going on here.
59:46
SPEAKER_03: And hey, we watched you do this in real time just now, here today.
59:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
59:51
SPEAKER_03: Continue to be yourself.
59:52
SPEAKER_03: Thanks, Dom.
59:55
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
59:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, keep being yourself.
59:58
SPEAKER_02: You have had permission from the goddess.
1:00:00
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:00:02
SPEAKER_00: So I know we we talked about the things.
1:00:08
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for chiming in to oh good, because I got more questions.
1:00:11
SPEAKER_03: But all right, go ahead.
1:00:12
SPEAKER_00: You got more questions?
1:00:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:00:13
SPEAKER_03: Oh, go ahead.
1:00:14
SPEAKER_03: Oh, because I alright, I really had two questions.
1:00:17
SPEAKER_03: One was um I had a question.
1:00:19
SPEAKER_03: I think it was when you all were talking about self-limited beliefs.
1:00:24
SPEAKER_03: And I'm I was curious about what what type of mindset do you tend to see between men and women that you uh coach?
1:00:36
SPEAKER_03: Is there a difference?
1:00:37
SPEAKER_03: Is there a noticeable difference in the mindset?
1:00:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I think this is not limited to business owners.
1:00:45
SPEAKER_02: Um, men tend to be more overconfident, and women tend to be underconfident about the same thing.
1:00:53
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
1:00:54
SPEAKER_02: Um women still wait for permission.
1:00:58
SPEAKER_02: Um, they don't ask for help as much.
1:01:02
SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, they don't wait, they don't ask for permission either, but they're like they just go and do the thing where women are like, well, should I do this?
1:01:12
SPEAKER_02: Am I good enough?
1:01:14
SPEAKER_02: So I I mean I see that just in general, the difference between men and women.
1:01:19
SPEAKER_02: I think some of that's the way we've we've grown and developed as a culture.
1:01:24
SPEAKER_02: Um and I think that I hope at least that women are starting to realize like how amazing they are and what they can build because then the stats show that women tend to reinvest into local economies more.
1:01:42
SPEAKER_02: We listen to and are able to develop, I'm gonna say, um a better team culture, but we're looking at everybody.
1:01:55
SPEAKER_02: Um, we're less about like just ourselves and how can we support the good of the many.
1:02:01
SPEAKER_02: Um, we're not playing zero sum for the most part games.
1:02:04
SPEAKER_02: Like we're really looking at how do we bring everybody along.
1:02:07
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not saying all guys are playing zero-sum games and aren't thinking about their team.
1:02:12
SPEAKER_02: And we're just talking about generalizations right now.
1:02:15
SPEAKER_02: Right.
1:02:16
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I mean, women make really incredible business owners.
1:02:21
SPEAKER_02: Um, and they solve problems that generally are impacting them.
1:02:26
SPEAKER_02: So women in general start businesses because they had an experience or a challenge or a problem that they wanted to see fixed in the world.
1:02:37
SPEAKER_02: And they're really creative with what they choose to build.
1:02:41
SPEAKER_02: All of my clients, both men and women, but um, for a while I was working primarily with women, all of my clients are the way they're growing their business or how or the stand that they're taking in their business is about um truly making an impact in whatever area or industry that's positive that creates change.
1:03:04
SPEAKER_02: And that's pretty cool to watch.
1:03:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:03:10
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
1:03:10
SPEAKER_03: I suspected that was gonna be somewhat of the answer.
1:03:13
SPEAKER_03: Okay, because of like even as children in school, like I remember even being in class, the girls that have the answer, but won't raise the hand, but the boy would shut out the wrong answer very confidently.
1:03:25
SPEAKER_02: Very I and this is like kindergarten, but I have this memory burned into my brain still of like I was playing with a couple of boys and we were all running around being loud.
1:03:38
SPEAKER_02: I was the only one that got in trouble.
1:03:40
SPEAKER_02: I was too loud, too much.
1:03:43
SPEAKER_02: You know, piped down.
1:03:45
SPEAKER_02: It's not very ladylike.
1:03:46
SPEAKER_02: No, yeah, no, yeah.
1:03:48
SPEAKER_02: Um, so I think that's you know, I'm not the only one.
1:03:53
SPEAKER_02: And I hope that's not happening and how we're raising our girls and our boys, for that matter.
1:03:59
SPEAKER_02: Like the I think you see a difference too if you start paying attention or if you're hanging out with a bunch of four-year-old girls, like they're loud and wild and crazy and emotional.
1:04:11
SPEAKER_02: And a couple of years later, they're quiet and walking on the blue line down the hall in school.
1:04:18
SPEAKER_02: And taking that, like, I don't know, ferocity.
1:04:22
SPEAKER_02: Is that a word?
1:04:23
SPEAKER_02: I love making up words, but the ferociousness, the wildness of young girls, and trying to get them to lean into following the rules, I feel like that's just so not right.
1:04:36
SPEAKER_02: Because it's like that's the magic.
1:04:38
SPEAKER_02: That's where they can create, that's their power.
1:04:41
SPEAKER_02: And letting them be artists and letting them um just be who they are with the noise and the volume, and probably some mess with lipstick all over the the wall.
1:04:55
SPEAKER_02: Or in my case, we had uh finger paint all over the toilet and the bathroom.
1:05:02
SPEAKER_02: Um like that's that's beautiful and and free.
1:05:09
SPEAKER_02: And I think little kids really have a sense of themselves that we uh train them out of.
1:05:16
SPEAKER_00: I agree with that.
1:05:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
1:05:19
SPEAKER_02: Like I would do that part of my my child raising differently.
1:05:24
SPEAKER_02: Um which may or may not have you know impacted my kids, but I just for me, I would do it differently, be a little more relaxed.
1:05:34
SPEAKER_02: But that's who I was at the time before I'd done, I did a lot of mindset work too.
1:05:40
SPEAKER_02: So see, you're just human, right?
1:05:43
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're allowed to grow.
1:05:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, kids know.
1:05:47
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, by the way, I installed all these things into you that I didn't mean to, so good luck with that.
1:05:53
SPEAKER_02: Happy growing.
1:05:57
SPEAKER_00: So um You've given a lot of advice.
1:06:02
SPEAKER_00: Um Dom is giving a lot of great advice today.
1:06:08
SPEAKER_00: So in a sense, my last question is outside of what has already been spoken, what seed would you plant for this entrepreneur that knows that they are the issue and getting over it?
1:06:24
SPEAKER_02: Ask for help.
1:06:26
SPEAKER_02: Like, I mean, please work with me and like talk to your friends.
1:06:31
SPEAKER_02: One of the things that comes out of the dinners that I I host, um, because it's all business owners, um, is that we all don't ask for help enough.
1:06:43
SPEAKER_02: And that keeps us stuck.
1:06:46
SPEAKER_02: And you don't have to figure it out yourself.
1:06:48
SPEAKER_02: Like it's not your job to have all the answers, it's your job to guide everybody to help you make the decisions and to really stay focused on that vision.
1:07:01
SPEAKER_02: And just do it anyways.
1:07:04
SPEAKER_00: Ask for help.
1:07:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:07:06
SPEAKER_00: Very simple.
1:07:08
SPEAKER_00: Nothing that you have to overthink or underthink.
1:07:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:07:12
SPEAKER_00: You know, just ask.
1:07:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:07:16
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:07:17
SPEAKER_00: So Emmy, can you tell the people where they can find you?
1:07:22
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
1:07:23
SPEAKER_02: You can find me on LinkedIn um at Emmy Kirshner.
1:07:26
SPEAKER_02: Um, do you want me to spell names and you know put links in the bottom?
1:07:32
SPEAKER_00: Oh, this will be at the bottom.
1:07:33
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
1:07:34
SPEAKER_02: So find me on LinkedIn or you can um go to my website at Sarah Lunaconsulting.com.
1:07:40
SPEAKER_00: Got it.
1:07:41
SPEAKER_02: I'm not a social girl.
1:07:43
SPEAKER_00: You said, oh, yeah.
1:07:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm on there, but I'm not on there.
1:07:48
SPEAKER_00: Social media.
1:07:50
SPEAKER_02: I delete my Instagram um app off my phone every week.
1:07:58
SPEAKER_00: Oh no.
1:07:59
SPEAKER_02: I know it's great because I've like what I use it for two days and I'm like, this is terrible.
1:08:03
SPEAKER_02: And then I delete it.
1:08:04
SPEAKER_02: Oh no, it's totally for me.
1:08:05
SPEAKER_02: I've curated it carefully for all sorts of fun things, but uh I just don't I don't want to spend the time there.
1:08:15
SPEAKER_00: And there's nothing wrong with that.
1:08:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, in the I don't know why I call it doom scroll uh doom scrolling, but uh yeah, for me it's creative and um but I can still be like looking for the thing.
1:08:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:08:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:08:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:08:31
SPEAKER_00: So this is where I open the floor for you to ask me a question, make a statement, give advice.
1:08:39
SPEAKER_00: Um, and with your expertise, I'm really not sure what's gonna happen.
1:08:44
SPEAKER_00: But I'm here for it.
1:08:45
SPEAKER_00: Love that.
1:08:47
SPEAKER_02: Um, first of all, thank you because I've had the best time.
1:08:52
SPEAKER_02: And I feel like we had a really cool, fun, easy, flowing conversation.
1:08:56
SPEAKER_02: So could hang out with you for hours.
1:08:59
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, ain't that right, Dime?
1:09:02
SPEAKER_02: Dime's over there.
1:09:03
SPEAKER_02: I can see her.
1:09:05
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yeah.
1:09:06
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for for showing up and surprising me.
1:09:09
SPEAKER_02: Like I'm just like deeply grateful.
1:09:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because I didn't tell her you were coming.
1:09:14
SPEAKER_02: No, no, that's amazing.
1:09:16
SPEAKER_00: So we got a surprise, guess that's all.
1:09:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:09:19
SPEAKER_02: Well, and when you first said that, I was like, all right, whatever.
1:09:25
SPEAKER_02: Okay, great.
1:09:27
SPEAKER_02: Um, I don't really have any advice for you.
1:09:31
SPEAKER_02: Like you seem really grounded, and what you're creating is fantastic.
1:09:38
SPEAKER_02: I love your OCD, like that aligns with my OCD.
1:09:42
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, like just keep doing the not even keep doing, keep making the magic that you're making.
1:09:52
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
1:09:53
SPEAKER_00: And and I definitely will.
1:09:55
SPEAKER_00: There are days where I'm just like, I'm not calling anybody, I'm not reaching out to anybody.
1:10:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh, 100%.
1:10:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'm just done.
1:10:03
SPEAKER_00: And then I realize I'm like, I do not have a guest for next week.
1:10:06
SPEAKER_00: And then I have to, I don't care.
1:10:10
SPEAKER_00: It's just not gonna happen.
1:10:12
SPEAKER_00: And the next thing I know, somebody contacts me and they're like, hey, you know.
1:10:17
SPEAKER_02: Here's and I'm still like mastering the embodiment of this.
1:10:24
SPEAKER_02: Here's the thing that I think we all would benefit from our capacity is not the same every day.
1:10:32
SPEAKER_02: And to think that it is is crazy because there's so many factors in what our energy level is and what we're we're able to do.
1:10:42
SPEAKER_02: And there's gonna be days where we knock it out of the park or we feel like we can take on the world, and there's days where we can't.
1:10:50
SPEAKER_02: And I think honoring that, and I'm working on on, I mean, structurally, I've created it, but again, embodying an operating rhythm.
1:10:59
SPEAKER_02: So my expectation from myself in any given day um isn't the same, particularly on days when I have five or seven Zoom calls and I'm supporting my clients and like it's an enormous amount of energy out.
1:11:16
SPEAKER_02: So I've stopped expecting myself to do seven million other things that are require a lot of thinking on those days.
1:11:24
SPEAKER_02: That makes sense.
1:11:25
SPEAKER_02: My operating rhythm right now is Monday is uh no meetings day, so it's an in day.
1:11:31
SPEAKER_02: Tuesday is meetings day, which is an out day, so I'm more engaging.
1:11:37
SPEAKER_02: It's also when I schedule in-person meetings now.
1:11:40
SPEAKER_02: Wednesday is in day, and then Thursday and Friday are out day, but Friday's a short day most of the time.
1:11:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm about to start taking half days on Fridays, too.
1:11:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:11:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna see how well that works.
1:11:54
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm saying it, but we're gonna see how how it works.
1:11:56
SPEAKER_02: Well, even like three.
1:11:58
SPEAKER_02: Like and not that it happens all the time.
1:12:01
SPEAKER_02: I'm still working kinks and bandwidth and everything out, but I'm not ending my week feeling exhausted and like I just need to lay on the couch.
1:12:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:12:12
SPEAKER_02: Right.
1:12:13
SPEAKER_02: Like that's my goal is like how do I create momentum and consistent energy um every day so that I can show up fully, even though how that fully is looks different from day to day.
1:12:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:12:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:12:30
SPEAKER_00: I know Sunday through Wednesday I'm at my day job.
1:12:36
SPEAKER_00: So by the time I get home, it's like you're not getting much from me because I'm gonna be with the wife and the kids.
1:12:44
SPEAKER_00: Now, if I have no other choice but to get something done, then yes, but Thursday, Friday, Saturday, it depends on the workload of how that day and that weekend go.
1:12:56
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
1:12:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:12:58
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not suggesting anybody should follow my operating rhythm.
1:13:02
SPEAKER_02: Just think about it.
1:13:03
SPEAKER_00: Or mine.
1:13:03
SPEAKER_00: Don't mm-mm.
1:13:04
SPEAKER_02: But just think about like what actually serves you, what's gonna fill you up and give you space.
1:13:11
SPEAKER_02: Because this whole we've got to work 12 hours to be successful bullshit is exactly yeah, out the window.
1:13:18
SPEAKER_00: I don't because it's a lot.
1:13:21
SPEAKER_02: And well, and there may be periods, short periods where like that, because you've got some deadline or you're launching something where that is a norm, but that's not a way of life.
1:13:35
SPEAKER_02: Like you sacrifice other things, and we're meant to have full, incredible lives that are more than just work or what you're creating.
1:13:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:13:47
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you have to sit it down.
1:13:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, resting is good.
1:13:52
SPEAKER_02: We're supposed to people used to do that in the 150 years ago.
1:13:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they didn't work like this.
1:13:59
SPEAKER_00: No, now we're working all the time, and I'm one of those people that's trying to get out of that.
1:14:07
SPEAKER_00: You know, I want to be able to have a set schedule, you know, and not necessarily Monday through Friday or, you know, including the weekends, but to be able to say, This is my off day, no matter what happens, I'm off.
1:14:23
SPEAKER_00: So take that part from me.
1:14:25
SPEAKER_00: Take that part, you know.
1:14:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, find a day.
1:14:28
SPEAKER_02: Your best ideas come from when you have space to think.
1:14:33
SPEAKER_02: It's like those long drives.
1:14:35
SPEAKER_02: I get great ideas then.
1:14:36
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:14:37
SPEAKER_02: And now I dictate to Claude or chat whoever I liked best that week.
1:14:41
SPEAKER_02: So they capture all of that for me.
1:14:45
SPEAKER_00: So haven't gotten on Claude yet.
1:14:47
SPEAKER_00: Are you using Claude yet?
1:14:49
SPEAKER_00: No, not okay.
1:14:50
SPEAKER_00: I mean, so it's not just me.
1:14:52
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
1:14:53
SPEAKER_03: Not yet.
1:14:53
SPEAKER_03: Soon come.
1:14:54
SPEAKER_00: Soon.
1:14:55
SPEAKER_03: Soon come.
1:14:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:14:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:14:58
SPEAKER_00: So um I told you I have a surprise question.
1:15:01
SPEAKER_00: The question I don't ask people or tell people.
1:15:05
SPEAKER_00: So over time, um, Creative Roots has been uh moving more into mental health.
1:15:15
SPEAKER_00: A lot of our guests have basically said that things out um come from childhood trauma, adult trauma, um, life, you know, the things that we deal with.
1:15:26
SPEAKER_00: Um we find our happy place as a creative.
1:15:30
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times we don't have someone that checks on us.
1:15:36
SPEAKER_00: Because again, our minds are always racing.
1:15:38
SPEAKER_00: Business owners, you you have to create something as well.
1:15:42
SPEAKER_00: So, my question and final question of the day how's your mental health?
1:15:47
SPEAKER_02: How's my mental health?
1:15:49
SPEAKER_02: I think it's good most of the time, and not that I don't have periods of feeling low, like I'm not like that happens.
1:15:58
SPEAKER_02: Um I think generally I'm a positive person.
1:16:05
SPEAKER_02: Um the way I process the learning experiences allows me to look for the good and the and like how can I make myself better?
1:16:15
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I have a girlfriend up in Philly that I talk to every day.
1:16:23
SPEAKER_02: And I can be very real with.
1:16:24
SPEAKER_02: So I think like having a couple of people who you can be, you know what, today it's just shit.
1:16:32
SPEAKER_02: Like I'm crawling back in the bed, I'm I'm all done with today, like I don't care that it's 6 p.m.
1:16:40
SPEAKER_02: Um that like know you well enough to hear you and say, yes, like that's go do that, or all right, Emmy, it's time to get your ass up.
1:16:53
SPEAKER_02: Go make the magic.
1:16:54
SPEAKER_02: Like, I think that's really important.
1:16:57
SPEAKER_02: But um, I've done and continue to do like counseling therapy, but also a lot of the mindset, and for me, the mindset, belief system, identity work is what is most transformational.
1:17:12
SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't need to talk about all the stuff that has happened or not happened, and it doesn't serve me as much.
1:17:20
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I also like I believe in having support.
1:17:25
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
1:17:25
SPEAKER_02: Right?
1:17:26
SPEAKER_02: Continuous support, continuous learning.
1:17:28
SPEAKER_02: Those one or two friends.
1:17:30
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I just tell her my to-do list legit.
1:17:38
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:17:39
SPEAKER_00: And I'm with the I like the honesty.
1:17:43
SPEAKER_00: Let me let me say that first.
1:17:44
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate the honesty.
1:17:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:17:46
SPEAKER_00: Because I know sometimes we we just say, I'm okay.
1:17:50
SPEAKER_00: And not realizing that we're literally just okay.
1:17:55
SPEAKER_00: Um sometimes it's oh, it's great, you know, and not saying that it it's not great for those people, but sometimes we just don't dive into it.
1:18:06
SPEAKER_00: We don't get asked, how are you doing?
1:18:09
SPEAKER_00: How do you feel?
1:18:11
SPEAKER_00: And I know with some of the conversations that we I've had here, um, when these cameras get turned off, these microphones are no longer recording, some guests are still here, and it becomes this therapy session, you know.
1:18:26
SPEAKER_00: So I have to ask, and you know, that this has been told, I've been told that this has been like a safe space.
1:18:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:18:37
SPEAKER_00: So I want to make sure that it's safe for all.
1:18:40
SPEAKER_02: I really appreciate that.
1:18:42
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
1:18:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:18:44
SPEAKER_02: Because it's it's okay to not be okay.
1:18:47
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:18:48
SPEAKER_02: Right.
1:18:48
SPEAKER_02: Like, I mean, flip side, like positivity will help you get out of the lows, and acknowledging that you're low is really important.
1:19:00
SPEAKER_02: And um and I think undervalued.
1:19:05
SPEAKER_02: Like, oh, I should just carry on.
1:19:07
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I should just go do now.
1:19:08
SPEAKER_02: Like, acknowledge that you feel low.
1:19:12
SPEAKER_02: And when I do that with my girlfriend, at least, like there's relief for me that somebody else knows.
1:19:20
SPEAKER_02: She doesn't have to do anything.
1:19:22
SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't there's nothing for her to do, just hear me.
1:19:26
SPEAKER_02: And um, and I do the same thing for her.
1:19:29
SPEAKER_02: Um we also call each other out on our on our bullshit.
1:19:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:19:34
SPEAKER_02: Um, but to pretend that everything has to be okay just means you're sweeping it under the rug and you're not dealing with it for me.
1:19:45
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
1:19:46
SPEAKER_02: And it's gonna come back later.
1:19:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because eventually that rug had to move.
1:19:50
SPEAKER_02: We're all onions.
1:19:53
SPEAKER_02: Weird, unusual, quirky onions.
1:19:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:19:59
SPEAKER_02: And it's fun to see how we're all alike and different.
1:20:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:20:05
SPEAKER_00: You have any closing remarks?
1:20:07
SPEAKER_03: No, I was just gonna say either you're gonna deal with it or it's gonna deal with you.
1:20:11
SPEAKER_03: 100%.
1:20:12
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
1:20:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:20:14
SPEAKER_00: Choices.
1:20:16
SPEAKER_00: Choices.
1:20:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:20:18
SPEAKER_00: So listen, y'all, this has been another great episode of Creative Roots Podcast.
1:20:24
SPEAKER_00: Um, I forgot to do it at the beginning.
1:20:27
SPEAKER_00: So as we close, shout out to Allen Look Studios, Charlotte Podcast Studio, and ArtBot Charlotte.
1:20:34
SPEAKER_00: I would like to thank us.
1:20:36
SPEAKER_00: Emmy, I greatly appreciate you for being here and having this conversation.
1:20:41
SPEAKER_00: Da, our surprise guest and co-host for the day.
1:20:46
SPEAKER_00: Greatly, yes, me, you were here for the day.
1:20:50
SPEAKER_00: Co-hosting.
1:20:51
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I appreciate that.
1:20:52
SPEAKER_03: Thank you for letting me sit here and talk to y'all.
1:20:55
SPEAKER_03: I love you.
1:20:57
SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, y'all, that is it.
1:20:59
SPEAKER_00: Um, don't forget we're going live December 12th, uh, 2 p.m.
1:21:03
SPEAKER_00: to 5 p.m.
1:21:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm working on those sweatshirts.
1:21:06
SPEAKER_00: VIP tickets will be listed on the website soon.
1:21:10
SPEAKER_00: And that's it for this episode.
1:21:12
SPEAKER_00: Catch y'all in the next one.
1:21:13
SPEAKER_00: Peace.