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The Language of Desire: What Attraction Can Teach Us About Love & Connection · A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Often, sexual attraction or lust is viewed as just physical
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: in nature, a primal urge that is inherent to the
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  Speaker 1: human condition. We won't bore you with the evolutionary explanation
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: on humans and sex. This isn't National Geographic. But the
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  Speaker 1: truth is, it's not purely physical. Our sexual desires can
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  Speaker 1: reveal deeper insight into our own unique psychology and personality.
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  Speaker 1: So understanding and reflecting on our sexual preferences can be
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  Speaker 1: a useful tool for self-discovery and even growth. At Psych2Go,
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  Speaker 1: our mission is to de-stigmatize topics around sex to empower
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  Speaker 1: and educate our audience. With that being said, let's dive
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  Speaker 1: into what our sexual desires and preferences can reveal about us. BDSM.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: It's 2025, so we'll spare you the dated Fifty Shades
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  Speaker 1: of Grey jokes, but having a fetish or kink for
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  Speaker 1: BDSM can definitely tell an interesting story about who we are. BDSM,
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  Speaker 1: the acronym for bondage and discipline and sadism and masochism,
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  Speaker 1: is characterized by a power exchange dynamic during sex where
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  Speaker 1: one person plays the submissive role and the other plays
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  Speaker 1: the dominant role. It's a well-known and popular type of
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  Speaker 1: sex kink, so much so that in one study, over
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  Speaker 1: 74% of respondents chose BDSM as their favorite fetish. With
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  Speaker 1: that being said, a preference for dominance over submission or
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  Speaker 1: vice versa can provide much deeper insight beyond just what
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  Speaker 1: we like in the bedroom. Preferring the submissive role in
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  Speaker 1: BDSM exchange can indicate a deep desire for emotional release
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  Speaker 1: and loss of control, sometimes to even relieve stress and pressure.
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  Speaker 1: You'd be surprised, but sometimes it's those in higher power
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  Speaker 1: and stressful positions of authority that crave being dominated in
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  Speaker 1: the bedroom. According to social psychologist Dr. Justin LaMiller, those
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  Speaker 1: who prefer to be dominated in the bedroom often have
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  Speaker 1: anxiety around sex and would rather have someone else assume
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  Speaker 1: the dominant role to take the pressure off them. Submission
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: in the bedroom can be an indication of needing to
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  Speaker 1: feel intensely vulnerable and desired during sex, which can often
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  Speaker 1: be associated with an anxious attachment style. Conversely, those who
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  Speaker 1: prefer the dominant role in the bedroom may be craving
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  Speaker 1: a sense of control due to feeling powerless in other
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  Speaker 1: areas of their lives, such as work or school, and
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  Speaker 1: could be trying to compensate for that in the bedroom. However,
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  Speaker 1: that's not always the case, and there are many complex
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  Speaker 1: reasons why a person would prefer sexual dominance over submission.
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  Speaker 1: In a BDSM study published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine,
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  Speaker 1: the dominance had higher subjective well-being and lower rejection sensitivity
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  Speaker 1: compared to the submissives and a control group of people
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  Speaker 1: drawn from the general population. Another study on BDSM and
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  Speaker 1: personality traits also suggested that participants who preferred the dominant
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  Speaker 1: role scored lower in agreeableness and neuroticism compared to submissive
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  Speaker 1: participants and the general population. Foot fetish? Feeling sexually aroused
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  Speaker 1: by feet may seem really taboo and deviant, but it's
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  Speaker 1: a lot more common than you think. While conducting research
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  Speaker 1: for his book, Dr. Justin LaMiller conducted surveys on more
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  Speaker 1: than 4,000 people about their sexual fantasies and desires, including
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  Speaker 1: those pertaining to feet. The surveys found that one in
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  Speaker 1: seven people, or 14%, report having a foot fetish or
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  Speaker 1: sexual fantasy related to feet. So what does having a
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  Speaker 1: strong preference for feet in the bedroom reveal about someone? Well,
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  Speaker 1: Just like BDSM, feet can symbolize either submission or dominance,
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  Speaker 1: which triggers arousal. For example, someone may feel aroused when
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  Speaker 1: their feet are being kissed or played with because it
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  Speaker 1: makes them feel like they're being worshiped and can provide
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  Speaker 1: a sense of power over the other person who's initiating
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  Speaker 1: the act. It can also give insight about our attachment style.
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  Speaker 1: A person with a more anxious, preoccupied attachment style may
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  Speaker 1: find comfort in focusing on a partner's feet as a
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  Speaker 1: way of showing devotion or closeness. Whereas a person with
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  Speaker 1: an avoidant attachment style might focus on feet because it
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  Speaker 1: offers a feeling of intimacy without feeling overwhelmed by eye
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  Speaker 1: contact or overtly sexual act. It's also important to understand
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  Speaker 1: that just because someone has been aroused by feet or
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  Speaker 1: fantasized about feet before doesn't necessarily mean that they have
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  Speaker 1: a full-blown foot fetish. And even if someone does have
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  Speaker 1: a sexual fetish, as Dr. LaMiller puts it, fetishes don't
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  Speaker 1: mean you have a mental problem or that you're unable
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  Speaker 1: to establish healthy sexual or romantic relationships. Roleplay or cosplay.
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  Speaker 1: If you're a fan of cosplay or roleplay in the bedroom,
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  Speaker 1: then this might indicate that you're seeking a form of
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  Speaker 1: escape or distraction from your regular day-to-day life. According to
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  Speaker 1: clinical psychologist, Dr. Joshua Klopau, roleplay is simply an opportunity
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  Speaker 1: to escape our own reality. By labeling it formally, we're
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  Speaker 1: permitted to act, speak, feel, and think in a way
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  Speaker 1: that may be dramatically different from our true selves. There
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  Speaker 1: are various reasons why a person might choose to escape
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  Speaker 1: their reality by engaging in roleplay. such as needing a
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  Speaker 1: break from extreme stress or anxiety, or even an escape
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  Speaker 1: from boredom. As long as it doesn't interfere with important
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  Speaker 1: aspects of your life, using role play as an escape
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  Speaker 1: mechanism can be healthy and a great way to spice
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  Speaker 1: things up in the bedroom. Just remember that respect and
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  Speaker 1: consent are necessary when engaging in any type of sexual activity.
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  Speaker 1: So never feel obligated to do something you aren't comfortable with.
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  Speaker 1: So what do you think your sexual desires are trying
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  Speaker 1: to tell you about yourself? Do you agree with the
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  Speaker 1: insights from our video? We truly appreciate your support and
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  Speaker 1: as always, stay kind and have a wonderful day.