Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #150 Mum Wicks Is In The House!

Transcript

#150 Mum Wicks Is In The House! · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Matthew. Good morning. Hi, Hi, how are you. I've got
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: some fantastic news for you.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Please.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Someone has suggested a middle name for the pending Johnson
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: that is to be born, So.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Marley suggested one, which I like. I'm going to keep
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: a secret is Bell. Welcome back to two doting dads.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: I am Maddie j.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: And I am Ash.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: the good, it is the bad.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: And the relatable until he say relentless again, but I
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: didn't well done, thank you.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: We don't give advice, Ash.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: So there is a doting list by the name of Mel.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Her name is She has no kids. She doesn't have
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: any anymore.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: That's weird.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Rp your dogs. She owns the surf Shop Ah, which
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I am a senior team writer for. That's a joke.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Is that where I bought my board on Board.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: They've got a couple of shops. I got Mono Vail,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: I've got Byron, They've got two in Bali And anyway,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: she is. She listens every week regardless, and I pop
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: in there every week and she always harps on about
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: how much she loves us.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: So thank you, Mel. Can I just say I love Mel,
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: I love you.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: She will love that. She's got stunning red glasses she
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: wears just so you know, she's very very cool.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Okay, so she can I just have a look at that. Yes,
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: of course that's for your car air Freshman perfect because
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: the Volkswagen is very moldy at the moment.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: It's dangy. Yeah, that's gonna get you. That's gonna get
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: your Farralf. Then you nice little air fresh What has
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: she got?
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: Mel?
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Hit me? So you mentioned in a podcast a couple
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: of weeks ago that there was Christmas Eve, spit it out.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: What do you got for me?
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Come on, Eve? Okay, poppy Eve Johnson boom, I don't wanna. Yeah, no,
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: it's a great suggestion, but it was Christmas Day that
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: we conceived.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: He can get back. It's still relevant, Eve, Eve.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: Bit of like a street name. Eve's got to shive
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: doesn't really roll off the love it, Eve Johnson.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: No, it's poppy Eve.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: I was just just just the tail end of it.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: I think you should can continue with May like my
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: mum is Mary Maywicks. Beth Is mayor Bethany Maywicks. That's weird,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Elizabeth Maywicks.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: That's weird. She's got noise canceling heady and we'll get
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: to my mum. Sure she is in the she's in
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: the room. She's currently sitting on the couch with headphones on.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm just gonna let it Marin.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying no, I'm not saying yes. I'm saying
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: and maybe, well, maild hay Ash. I just came straight
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: from an incredible sporting.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Event, the Olympics, the Enhanced Olympics close similar.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: This event has been postponed week after week after week
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: because the weather's been terrible here in Sydney. That don't
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: let the kids run in the wet cross country finally
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: happened three day changes. This morning was this morning.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: And you know, I told you.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: I've been trying to get on the newsletter of the email.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: I'm not on there email blast, so I rely purely
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: on the group chat on WhatsApp.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: And so I'm in there.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: I'm okay. And I was like, guys, like anyone off
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: the restaurant tomorrow. They were like, yeah, it's a nine
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: fifteen the group chat.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: I got added to that and I removed myself immediately.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: Oh now it's it's useful.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I know it would be useful, but I'm.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Like not fair.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: So this morning was the morning and it was it
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: was exciting. The only kindy year one and two were
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: running okay, so it was great. It was short, it
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: was punchy. What was yours again? Yours is like two
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: kilometers a kilometer? I think ours was like I guess
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: if that was like a ten k equivalent. Ours was
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: like the fifteen hundred. It was like a good middle distance.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: They have like a little like would you call it
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: a quadrangle?
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I love that word. Go to the discoverage wrong.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: With two laps, two laps around the front courtyard.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: The quad, the quad, thank you?
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Wow, I was nervous.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Were there any kids crying? Oh yeah, they mate.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: It's quite like okay. Race one, Race one, boys and
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: girls raced together. One girl, God, she quick. She was
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: like she she won by like a lap.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Center to the Enhanced Games. Aaron Magnuson, like.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: It was incredible to see.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: I was there with my sister and I was like,
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: look at this girl, and I was like, she's going
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: to slow down.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: After the first lap.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Faster doping, doping. I was definitely dope. I was thinking
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: that can I tell you when I was in primary school.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: There was a there was a rumor older years not kindy,
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: there was rumors of a kid that was doping.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: Why he was like lightning.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: He was like, start fast, go really fast in the middle,
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: and then finish really fast.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: Where is he now?
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: His name's James Magnuson. I don't know. It was just
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I think it was just like a rumor that spreads through.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: The school yard and then we're talking the other week
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: about Oscar wanted to be the fastest and like the
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: street cred within the school, it gets you being number one.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: I was like, I wonder how Mary is going to go?
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Like she wasn't into it. Leading up to the race.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: She was like why do we we spoke about it?
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: She's like why do we questioning it?
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: What reason?
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Because you have to, but I need a reason why.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I was like, because it's fun. And the boys were
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: just like foaming at the mouth at the start line.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: The boys, She's just let go the lashes like the
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: great school. But there was there was there was triumphs.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: There were tears. Not Marley's race. There's one boy, one boy,
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: and everyone had finished. He had about fifty meters to go.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: He was coming last and he just stopped and said,
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: I can't do it. I can't do it, no glory
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: and then and then he kind of stopped. And then
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: because it was hard, it wasn't it. It wasn't a
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: big space, and there's a lot of kids moving around
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: and the teachers, you know, it's a kindy classes, so
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: they're not super serious about it. But then they kind
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: of started the next race and he hadn't finished, and
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: then the mom was there going, oh, like Billy, Billy
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: hasn't finished the race, and then he just stood there
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: and then so she had to then go get Billy,
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: and he didn't want to finish because he was so embarrassed.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: I was like, ah, he's definitely gonna have a podcast
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: when he's older.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: But Marley was very excited. How did you go good?
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: She was like middle of the pack, middle of the pack.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: That's good. You want when like Oscar was the middle
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: of the pack too, but he lost a shoe in
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: the first I remember. I remember we had at school.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: We had a Stephen Bradbury moment at a regional carnival.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: So the regional carnival was close to us, was sort
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: of like in Narrawbeene around the lake, but it gets
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: really muddy there, like a spritz of rain and it's
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: like a slip and slide dangerous. Anyway, I was in
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: the race. I wasn't part of this moment. I was.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: I wasn't that good at cross country. I don't know.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I tell everyone I was. They were all sort of
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: getting close to like the final bend and the final
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: band was really muddy, and they all slipped over and
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: then just someone waltzed through. Not me. It did bump
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: me up a few positions, but I were all like
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: slipped over, real injured. But they were like, yes, oh
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: my god.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, It's like there was something about it can be
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: any level, any age, any type of sporting event, and
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: I'm locked in.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm putting money on it.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: I was able to race back here for this record.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: What was your time back? I was like, you're in,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: You're like hold the bat and Marley's like holding the
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: bat now, and You're like, I've got it.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: But I wanted to stay.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: I was like, I want to see the big kids,
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: because from grade one they then split it to boys
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: and girls getting serious.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: You get the clip bought out.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like I want to hang around for
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: the full show, but obviously I had to be here.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I'm missing the action right now.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: We can go back after this, I mean the're running
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: all day.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Race will be over, but yet's very it's very nerve wracking.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, as a parent, when do they have athletics? That's
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: really going to be nervous that.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: I spoke to my sister about that. And only until
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: grade three do they do like long jump up. Until
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: then it's like egg and spoon race.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: I imagine Marlon and I was trying to do a
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: long jump. Ah just been like, why are we doing this?
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I was just like, he's so competitive. Oh yeah. I
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: do recall primary school being like the faster you run,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: the more chicks you got.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: It's annoying, though, how much? How much do kids really
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: enjoy you being there?
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: I missed this one though, because I was here. I
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: remember Sorry No, as April was there, she cried the
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: whole time. I was like, why stop crying.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: Dude, it's an emotional morning.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: I think she was more crying for like the third
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: gradest who were crying. I didn't want to do it.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: I don't want to die more of a library guy.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: But I wasn't going to go and I'm glad I did.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, as you know, as they run past you and
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: they get they look at you in the eyes.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: Just light up.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: What sort of shoes was she in?
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: She had added as those black? No, she just upgraded
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: from the nikes to the right. Kids running in like
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: full jumpers and tracksuits. And I was like, what are
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: you doing?
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: What do you mean like the school jumpers and tracks
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: sty coming to like aerodynamic Marley running in the same thing.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Kathy Freeman.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: There was one girl because obviously got the option of
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: like the dress or the squat, and she was wearing
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: one girl was wearing the dress with stockings and like
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: ballet slippers.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Shoes. Yeah, I've got this.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Very good.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Speaking of shoes, there's a new addition to the Wick's household.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: We were walking past We're in Big w and we're
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: walking past a slipper rack and it had slippers. April
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: loves a good slipper and they had kids boots too.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: Does she go a gown? Is she she looks like
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: a gown kind of gal.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I told you that where I've thrown a few
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: gowns out because she hangs on to them at one time.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: And this is when she stopped cooking for me. She
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: was stirring spaghetti and the sleeve and I was like,
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: get rid of it, and then she leant down and
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: went to taste it, and I was like, oh, bring
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: that mouth over here. Anyway, Yes, there was ugboot rack
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: and April was like like eight bucks, perfect kids. Oscar
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: got a pair two, which was like a green they
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: were a dinosaur. Macy wanted something similar, but they only
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: had rainbow one like covered rainbow, which are really really cute.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: But it's been a couple of weeks since we've had them,
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: and the kids love them. The only complaint from Oscar
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: the whole time was oh, my feet are really sore
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: in these, and I was like, oh, it's not because
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: they're shit, right, They're just cheap shit.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: Like shouldn't be sor in an ug boot.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: I know, but I was just like, oh, like trying
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: to explain what you mean. Anyway, a couple of weeks
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: went by and he was like really complaining about it.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: I'm like, give it here, bring it to your old bait.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: I mean, but a quick look at these ones, get.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: Them up on the prop them up, and I was like, oh, okay,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: no wonder he's got the papers and the cardboard that
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: keeps them in shape. Still in there, I'll do it.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: And I was like, how did you fit your foot
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: in there? And he was like, oh, I just crunched
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: my toes, you idiot. And then I looked in the
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: other shoe and it was the same. So you know
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: when you go to try on shoes and the attendant
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: goes takes out the pate, the mesh paper stuff and
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: the cardboard that keeps it in show. He's walking around
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: for weeks.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: Like the Chinese boundary feet.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: I looked down, He's got carpal tunnel.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: I'm like five.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: He's like this.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Do you want to say, like, I think these might
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: be too small for me?
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because then he thought I might take him off
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: anim so I was like, waitning here. It was like
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I told you, they was all. I'm like, you need
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: to be more specific.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: He's probably thinking, why are people so obsessed with his ugboots?
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: They're terrible. They're a terrible shoe.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: But it was when we pulled it out he was
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: so embarrassed. He was like, and when we when he's
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: realized that how dope he is about this particular thing.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: He fucking just took off up the hall away like
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: in his room, slam the door.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: Don't hear him, but he must have been like, pretty
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: damn good. Now yeah, now he's like, oh, can I.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: Do a cross cross country?
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: Last week I had a tricky night, ash tricky, tricky,
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: tricky night. Lawla's dropped her naps at daycare. I had
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: to give them an email. Oh that's right, Yeah, she's
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: not napping, beautiful. But apparently the kids because they ramp
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: up the learning, the learning ramps up, so they get
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: more tired.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Bullshit. And that's his teachers going, you know what, let's
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: fucking just put them all asleep.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let's have it. I had a long lunch.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: They're like, hey, hey, you have some melotonin.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: Well they've said, yeah, we'll keep a close eye on her.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: We make sure she won't have her sleep. She comes
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: home and she's exhausted, she's absolutely gassed, just like any
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: little thing sets her off.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: She's probably used to the naps down.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: And also because she's been last week, she was missing
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: mum as well.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: But it was like, it was tough, dude, It's tough.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: I was like, you need to you need to have
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: one piece of carried on your plate, just eat one vegetable.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: And she was like, you're a terrible dad. I hate you.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: And I was like oh, and then like brushing your teeth.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: I was like, you need to you just need to
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: brush your teeth just just a little bit, just a
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: little bit, just like get the toothbrush in there. And
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: she was like, you, ah, a terrible father. And I
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: was like, okay, okay. Carl was copying that the whole
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: bed bath routine, like start to finish, put up a story,
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: and I was like, I did see that. This is
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: what I've coped and just to make myself and hopefully
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: you get a little bit better, I'm just going to
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: read you a couple of messages that I got some people. Ash,
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: I now know that kids, once they hit I think
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: it's the age of like four, they start to understand
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: the dialogue that cuts deep to parents.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: And like Lola uses it all the time.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Good thing. I'm was petty, just as petty as them.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: So one person wrote to me Ash, she said, I
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: got You're not the best mummy in the world anymore.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: When I let go of a hand after cuddling her
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: for after one and a half hours to go to sleep,
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: and then from a daddy, he says, mate, my five
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: year old boy just started yelling like a bansheet, saying
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: that I don't love him anymore because I say words
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: that are bad to him all the time. The bad
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: words were it's time for bed.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Now you're naughty?
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Yea, they just know the neighbors probably think I'm horrible
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: to him. Okay, last one. Yeah, the other day, my
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: four and a half year old was eating breakfast with
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: me and his one and a half year old brother
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: when he said, looked at me in the eyes and mentioned,
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: we just like mum more than you. But that's okay,
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: just so brutally honest.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: I remember Oscar poking my tummy the other day and goes,
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: why is it so squishy? You fuck? And then I
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: locked him in the cupboard. It's so hurtful, isn't it?
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Like if they said it early and that they don't
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: really understand. But now that you say to them, don't
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: say that you hate people. It's really strong word and
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: all sort of stuff, and then they whip that back
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: at Adie. You're like, I wish I never taught you that.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: I sometimes am tempted to say this you're a bad daughter.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: Just get as peedy.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Well. Sometimes Lula will look at me and she's like,
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: you got a really big nose. And I'm like, it's
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: not nice to mention anything about someone else's personal appearance,
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: and okay, one time I did say, you have funny teeth.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: That's not bad, right, Okay, so okay. So I was like,
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: of all the insults I'm going to go with about appearance,
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: I'll go with teeth. Yeah, I said funny, right.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you could have gone making She she.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: Was like what And I was like, I doubled down
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: and was like, yeah, you got you got, you got
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: funny teeth, balling your eyes out, random mom And she's
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: like you instead, I have funny teeth. And I was like,
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to teach her a lesson.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Here, and it was like, don't say that to them.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: But I feel like that's the only thing that's going
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: to make her understand. If I'm like, you're a bad.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Daughter, how do you feel? That's how I feel when
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: you Oh I hate you too? Yeah, I get petty too.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: I respond back like if Oscar's like something about me,
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I'm like, well, guess what yours going to look? The same.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: It's like, it's called genetics. Genius hates it when you
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: just laugh in his direction, laugh at me. Yeah, I'm
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: trying to teach him laughing with you and laughing at you.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: So the other day he fell over in the mud
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: out the front. He was playing with the mate. They
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: were mucking around. They were both muddy, and I was like,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: look at money like you are like as like a
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: this is fun. You're having fun. If you're muddy, you've
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: had fun, right, And he just went red and just
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: stormed off, full muddied into the house, into his bed,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: per fully muddied. And I was like, guess what, and
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: he was like what. I was like, you've got to
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: sleep in there now.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Like, hey, we have been teasing your mother, who's been
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: so patient, so patient, sitting on the cash, not said
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: a word. Yeah, quiet as mouse, let's bring her in,
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Let's let's have a quick chat.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, let's bring her in.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: Can I just.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Say yes, we have been trying to get you on
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: the podcast for a long long time.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: Things kept happening.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: I've been very resistant. Really no talk into the mic.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, this is don't yell at your mother like that.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Sorry, I'm sorry. Grab herd. You're more nervous than nervous.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: I'm fucking nervous.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Straight off, straight off the bat. Someone did message in
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: and we have talked about Ash's recent ADHD diagnosis.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: Does that come as a surprise. No. No, he was
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: very bulon child, and especially since his older sister was
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: extremely easy going, it was very noticeable.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: That's dead.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: But then lots of people used to say to me
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: that Beth was the odd one, that Ash was actually
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: the more than normal one.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you.
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: What people used to say to me with Ash?
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: When did you realize that, gosh, this could be a
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: tricky baby.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: Tricky is the wrong word. Why did you hate? Ash?
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: Didn't Well, he didn't sleep at night very much, and
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: he was very loud, very vocal, even as a baby.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: People used to say to me, what's wrong with them?
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: And because he'd just be lying there, verbalizing, and I'd
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: just say, like, he just likes the sound of his
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: own voice.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Nothing has changed, yes, But he was extremely loving and
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: very cute during the day.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: At night, he was a little demoned, in fact, so
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: bad that we actually got letters in the box from
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: the neighbors complaining about this child screaming half the night.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: How bad was it? Well after about nine months where
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: I occasionally I'd just sleep it, sleep through it all.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Did you get immune to it? No, not immune, just.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: Exhausted to pass out. Really, we dealt with it while.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: We took him out of his bedroom and put him
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: in the hallway and we blocked the front door, so
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: I no, I'm going to come through the door. We
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: did the same thing. Yeah, yeah, there no windows in
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: the hallway.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: And the neighbors on the other side were a bit
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: more forgiving.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: They were death pretty much.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: And so what another neighbor wrote you a letter. Yeah, also,
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: that's a bit passive aggressive.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: Didn't the cops come?
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: No, the cops didn't come. I got this note. I
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: was a bit taken back. And those neighbors hadn't been
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: in there long. And I went over there and it
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: was about nine or ten the morning. She offered me
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: a glass of wine, So there you go.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's the sort of people. Yes, yeah, I'm not
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: the problem massive, That's what I'm getting from this.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: When you were very loud, though, you were so loud
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: that you actually when you actually started speaking and talking,
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: you could tell that he'd actually damaged.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: He's always had a very I had this voice when I.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: Pass the coloring.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Quick sig yes, well.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: And was there a moment where he became obedient? Did
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: he grow out of that face? Was he toilet trained?
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: Was he someone that liked to bend the rules.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: Pushed the envelope? You couldn't give him an she'd want
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: a mile. Here's numerous, numerous examples of that. At one stage,
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: we'd had a bit of ado at home and we
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: had some leftovers beers, and Wayne's his dad's not a
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: really big beer drinker, so we've stuck him in the cupboard,
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: the top shelf, and then we had we had something
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: else coming up, and I said, oh, there is that
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: bear and then go up there and there's no beer there.
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: And he's about thirteen or fourteen. And Wayne always he
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: thinks his father wanted to overreact. I'm going on, just
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: be chilled.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: It's okay.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So you know I set him down and I
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: should have done that. Blah blah blah, you know, blah
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: blah blah.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: Anyway, how did he respond when he got caught?
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: When he was.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: We weren't.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: We were trying to downplay it and not make a
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: huge issue.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: He knew it was wrong, did you? That's the funny
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: thing was.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: The funny thing was about two or three days later
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: he rang me up at work and goes, I'm going
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: down on mates place. Can I take a couple of beers?
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: You did example of Ashton, You couldn't sort of say,
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: and really you're dudying yourself. Take him no, because if
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: if I knew, I could give him an inch and
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: he wouldn't want a mile. Because with Beth you could say,
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: oh Beth, you can do this today, and then she'd
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: never asked to do it again.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: Was hide and ship. Probably I'm not the only one
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: in that house that was like that.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: So just saying that, I'd love to get your version
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: of events, because I know there was a case when
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: ash was a little bit older than you have to
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: pick him up from the police station sixteen Queensland.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: He was very lucky he wasn't seventeen because in Queensland
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: they wouldn't have his parents.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he sent rules up there.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and we're very close to the border obviously, and
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: he managed to talk one of his mate's older brother
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: into giving him a driver's license.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: His driver that you look similar, yeah, kinda, Yeah, They retain.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: He's could have been a brother. Yeah, yeah, okay, And
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: so I'm in bed.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: Was it was during the week too.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: I was in bed for Thursday night, Yeah, yeah, Friday,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: and I.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Got this phone call. Oh, this is police patient, we've
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: got your son here. What And he goes, can you
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: come come up? And and I think I actually rang
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: back because I thought bloody mates are playing tricks or something,
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: and they, oh, yeah, we know, we got a.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Did that and they tell you on the phone call. Why.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: I think he tried to get into the casino which
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: was across the.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Road, which is like pick a pub you.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you know, it's like the most strictly policed thing.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: There's no way they're going to go, oh mate, you're joking,
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: go away, go home. No, they've got to phone the
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: cops and do the all the procedural things to maintain
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: their licensees.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: Why wouldn't you just pick like a crappy little rs L.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: I was dumb, It's very dumb. He had the striped
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: switch It was half my head out. What did we
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: have on strike T shirt? Like a switch switch shirt?
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: It was like a child It's something in the screen, sixteen.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: Year old boy.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: I look like Oscar.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: It looked like a sixteen year old boy trying to
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: get into What did.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: You say to the person when he was like this
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: is not your idea?
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah it is. And then he was
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: like what's your middle name? And I got it wrong?
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: The birthday wrong too, and then he was like I
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: was like oh fuck. And then the shirt mate was
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: like run run and I was like, in the middle
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: of the casino, were going to run? And then yeah,
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: they came around arrested me in the middle of the casino.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: And who got you, the cops or the security.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: The cops the casino. The security guy kept me there,
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: but the cops station was literally across the road. They
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: were there in a halfbeat.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: They were like, this is the Easies Jobsday, Thursday's happening.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: But the thing is it happened so fast that I
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: got we got me and my may got dropped off
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: by a girlfriend's right. They were like, oh, I have
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: a good night, guys, because we're going We're meant to
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: go to a bar that's on the outside of the casino.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: But I think Josh was like, oh, my mates are
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: in They're just in the casino. We're just going to
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: meet them, We're go I was like, oh, yes, he
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: is so confident. A bit pissed, I mean, I wasn't drunk.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: And then yeah, I was getting arrested and I look
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: over and both of our girlfriends are still in the
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: car park looking over at me, going and I'm up
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: against the cop car like this. And then yeah, there
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: I am in look in the cop shop for the
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: first time.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: And I'm calling get a police. Yeah.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: Different, that's different. That was that was different. Let's not
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: talking about that one. And then and then yeah, all
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: I remember is mum coming through the front door.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: And they said to me, he's lying to us. I
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: just walked into them and I said, idiots.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: Don't lie to the police. I know what are you doing?
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: And anyway, there, so they took us into the room
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: videotis and everything embarrassing moment of my life yours I'm
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: living there, right. And the other thing was that his grandmother,
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: nanny Olive, was there at our place and she loves
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: it drama. She's like, oh, that's right, and I said, no,
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: it wasn't. It was only like ten or eleven because
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: I got off the phone and I said to your father,
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: who was still I was in bed because I was
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: working there, and he's he was up and I said,
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: you go and get your son.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Overcome his son. It's a boy thing. You go deal
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: with it.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: And he goes, oh, I've had to so, and then
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Olive goes, oh, come.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: And she's the biggest drama cla.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: She would have been in there all the cops, no,
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: telling all the stories.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: One of the only people that can tell Nan no.
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: And she'll listen, I just wait, no, all of you're
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: staying here with you your She actually gave me money
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: to go out that night.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: That'd be right, NaN's only grandson. So I'm like, I'm
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: the top tier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I remember mum
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: walking in. I remember them sitting me down in that
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: room where they were filming and recording and.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: What about when you want to go to the toilet?
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So I was like, I really need to
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: go the toilet. And they were in this mode of like,
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: let's scare this kid, and it was.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: The only thing going on. It was a quiet nice
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: had all these police on them.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: There was one other guy in the lock up who
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: was mental and they were like put him in with him,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: and they were like all right, well, we'll see you
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: out here, but if you're miss made, and they kept
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: going in with Clive yeah, pretty much. He was at
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: the door like and then I was like fuck. And
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: then they kept coming up to me with like pictures
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: of known criminals and putting them next to my head
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: to see if I was just like I was, no,
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: I'm not kidding at all on a joke at all,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: and like no, I was just like a bunch of photos.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: And then they were like they had like this woman
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: there that was across she was working like across where
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: I was sitting, and they've obviously a cop.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: Sounds fun.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: She was like real intimidating, like hair slicked back and
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: she was like don't move. I was like.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: And then I was like I need to go to
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: the tour. They're like, yeah, we'll come, and what we're watching?
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: I was like what.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Watch me? And I don't know what's going on. They're like,
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: just in case you dropped something down there. I was
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: like like what, we don't know, you tell us and
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: I was like no, no, no, and I like had to
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: hold on because I was just get together the tall
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: and then walks in and they sit us down. They
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: have the video camera on. They have the whole interrogation
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: thing going on and asking me questions, and I don't
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: think I got a single word out because I cried
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: the whole time.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was the you've used a stolen license across
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: the border, so it's a cross border felony.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Was going to.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: We lived in Tweety, had a new South Wales driver's license.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: We were in Queensland, so we'd gone across the border
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: and that makes it that much worse. And even though
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: he tried to say it found this license, it's stealing
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: by finding.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it was like you're going to jail, mate.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: I thought I was going to jail.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: They made it to the point and then they were
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: actually it's probably lucky that happened because it kind of
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: straightened you out a little bit.
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, yeah, let's go because put us onto them.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Quick.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: You must be very proud though, how ashes turned out.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, absolutely. He's a fine young gentleman. And he,
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: as I said during the day, he has always been
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: extremely loving about his family and he's.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: Very loyal, sing it, sing it.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So you know, I knew you'd be right. And
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: he's not dumb.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Well he's not. He can figure things out.
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: That he figured that out, and I was like, okay,
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: I don't want to go do this again.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: He's the type of person that can turn his hand
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: to anything.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: Is think I'm ful, I'm blushing, I'm blushing. Let's turn
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: that off. Let's do you want to ask Well, here's.
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: An example of how loving he is. Please when when
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: he was twenty or something, he was at home still
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: and I went over to New Zealand for a while
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: to do some study, and then and then he took
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: me to the airport way mess took me into the
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: airport and he wept the whole time at the airport.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: And even when his sister went to Europe at eighteen,
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: we drove her up to Brisbane and he cried all
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: the way home.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: He is a very loving man.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Whenever I talk about crying, he has a go with me.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: And you're you're the town crier.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: I want to hang on. I've got back myself up
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: here a little bit. Just put yourself in my shoes
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: for a moment. Yeah. Firstly, my sister moves away. Secondly
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: my mom moves away. I felt abandoned. Matthew, you have
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: to stay here with your Dad, and I was like,
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: oh god. And I was like, I went the hierarchy
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: after they left, went Dad dog Ash And I was like,
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: I knew that was going to happen. And I was
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: just just I was sad about it. I was sad.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: Do you have any PTSD being a grandmother?
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Now?
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: Is Oscar similar to ash was like.
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: A very similar. Oh my god, he's a little less
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: you know. When I see him. He happens to be
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: going to the same school that Ashton went to. And
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: to see him in his school uniform, it was a flashback.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: It was like a very star.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: He's not quite as.
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: He's not quite as. He's not as much a people person.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: You were always very every like all my family and
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: my brother and I would loved Ashton because he was
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: he was sociable, he was up for him, you know.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: And Oscar is a bit more, a bit more, you know,
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: a bit more mellow than that. He's very similar, very sporty.
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: Love is to kick a.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: Ball because a whip. Yeah, yeah, he's like, yeah, I
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: energy cluff. I see so much. And now that, yeah,
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: he goes to school at the same school. I'm like
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: waking out every time you take him. There was the
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: same crossing lady is there and I spoke to her
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: the other day and I was like, how long are
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: you been here for? And she was like thirty something years.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: I said, do you know the last day of school
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: here in two thousand and two? I you know, it's
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: an emotional day, like you've been with his friends for
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: like Earl splitting up to go to ther from high schools.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: In some instances, I was sad, but I never let
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: a tear out that to lie until I crossed the
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: rope and I said to him, I'm like, you would
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: never you would have a million kids you see every day.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: And I was like you You're the last person I
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: saw when I left this school. Oh well, I was like,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: it's yourful, But yeah, you are a big soft big
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: softy when I need to be. Yeah, for sure. But
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: I like to suppress that, bury it right down. But
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: we did get one more question, if you don't mind, Matt,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: we got time, please go. One more question that came
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: from a close friend of mine that was through the
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: through Instagram. They wanted to understand your accounts of my
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: twisted testicle as a teenager. Just give us the how
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: it went down.
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: We house swat with some old neighbors. We'd moved to Queensland.
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: Oh not Queensland, tweeteas and I think not that some
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: of the following someone we swapped houses of some old neighbors.
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: So we moved into their house just before Christmas. Yea,
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: and Ash straight away onto the mates, going surfing blah
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: blah blah, and off he disappears, and then I get
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: I get this phone call from him. But later in
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: the day, Oh, I've got a bit of a Tommy
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: blah blah blah, and I'm going, have you been eating
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: McDonald's guilty? And here you? I said, well, you know,
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: maybe he just got coming out from eating too much
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: for me McDonald's too fast blah blah blah. And then
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: a couple of hours after that, I get another phone call,
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: but this is from the boy's mum. Oh, there's something
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: really wrong with Ash. He's got this really bad pain
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: blah blah blah. So I said, okay, so we wayne
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: Dad went and got him, and then he comes back,
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: and then he comes in the house and he leaves
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: Ash and they can't really goes there's something wrong with him.
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: A bit of take him to the doctor.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: My dad doctors don't go well, it doesn't feel.
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: But he works in pacetical.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: Anyway.
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: So it's like the day before Christmas, and so we
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: go to the local medical center. Wait, wait, wait, is
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: any one doctor and blah blah blah. Get in there
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: and he goes, I think it could be a twisted testical,
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: you'd better go to the hospital. So then we get
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: up to the hospital and they were really good because
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: by the stage he was sweating.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: He was gray. Dude, I'm telling you right now, the
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: most painful thing I've ever been through. I was sitting
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: in a chair in the waiting room and I was like,
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: I was white knuckling that chair so hard I thought
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: I was melting the plastic, which is it was.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: Cruciating as a mother.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: The worst part is when my dad think he not.
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: We had people coming around for barbecues.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: When dad picked me up because he hadn't seen my
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: mate's mum in ages and I was in pain. He
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: and my dad could talk the leg off a chair.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: He decides to have a full conversation with this person.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: I'm in the car, I'm beeping the horn and he's like,
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: I stop being rude, like and I was like, it's
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: my fucking nuts and he just went use it.
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: The nuts ended up fine. You've had now two beautiful children. Yes,
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: when you look at the father that Ash has turned into,
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: what makes you most proud the patience.
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: He shows, the hands on because you know, you guys
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: are so much more hands on. The first for knowledge,
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: I mean, we didn't really, we just just did what
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: our parents do. Well, now you guys think a lot
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: more deeper about it, the whole parenting thing. And you know,
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: so I really admire that his relationship with April is
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: very good, and his in laws it's very good.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: I'm getting. All I'm hearing is that un likable.
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: And he's always been.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: He's always been.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: You know, he's not lazy, he's a big he's not
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: said on us. But I remember thinking of because he
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: left school. He took himself off from school, and I said,
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: you can't leave school because he was near and if
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: he had stayed in Sydney's no way he would have
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: left school a year teen. But everybody up there leaves
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: at year ten because all the dads are trading.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I said, well, you need.
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: To get yourself something. So he did. He went out
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: and got himself an apprenticeship, which I knew he wouldn't finish.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: I said he'd be bored stupid.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: I did. I did my time. I just haven't finished
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: the education.
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know I knew he wouldn't sort of
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: stay on that level.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: Well, you've raised a great young man and I'm very
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: privileged to call him a friend and a co host.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: Now did you ever catch him masturbating?
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: Wow?
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: No, I did.
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: Ask him once though, because after the operation, the doctor
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: didn't say to me, oh, you might want to take
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: him off to SIS to make sure every that's working.
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: And I remember six months later thinking, you know, do
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: I really want to bother with that? I just said
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: to her, how's it going down there?
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: And way? Okay, must be right, clo as she came
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: hopefully fucking all right, let's wrap this up.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you so much. All right, it has been enlightening.
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Thanks for having me pleasure.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: Thank you, mom Ash, you just signed for listener questions.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: We are going to revisit peir Rants next week for sure.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: For sure, do not panic if your bit bangers come.
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: People are probably thinking, right now, where is the themes on?
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: I know they're probably like, I need a headache. To quick.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: It'll come back next week. Fear not so questions, Ash,
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: I've got one for you away, Ash, I would like
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: to know. This is a question for myself. I've submitted
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: this on social media too, dotting dads on Instagram and
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: I set the question and the question reads.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: Well, said.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: Ash, are there any places that you feel should be
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: child free?
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: My house?
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: I did see there was a Reddit thread and someone said,
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: I think everywhere should be child free and we should
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: just have designated child areas, like where you go for smoke.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: Oh that's genius, Like a pub. There's only spots that
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: you can have your kid in that part of the
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: Do you get fined if your kids like find a
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: way not an a leash or something. I start telling
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: my kids that, I would say the shops, I think, like,
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not the Okay, let me be specific. Okay, the
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: shops themselves in a shopping center. But the shopping center
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: bit where there's like the playground and stuff can kids
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: in there? But like for example, if it's like there's
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: a toy shop, no kids are allowed in there?
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: Is this is this for yourself? For them?
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: This is so that I have to do with meltdown. Also,
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: if they're not allowed in woolies. I'd get ship done
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: so much faster.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: If it's like, hey, kids, you're not allowed to be woolies.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: Have got like a crash or a crash however you
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: want to pronounce it out the front A crash and
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: it's just a pen and you just heard them in
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: they've got a they've got a blue heeler that hurts them.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: In perfect Is this the thing or is this what
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: you want it to be?
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: This is what I wanted to be.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: Sorry, yes, I was like, wow, what about you?
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: What do you got?
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: This is hard because I'm also like hindering myself and
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: my people, the other parents. But I reckon, ash, I
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: reckon Maybe there should just be not as a blanket
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: rule that kids should not be allowed on this particular.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: Why do I feel like this is going to be groundbreaking?
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: I would like there to be. This is long haul flights,
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: particular flights that you can book where it's entirely child free.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: Genius.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: So obviously like you're not going to there'll be other
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: flights available a Swingers Crews. So if I'm traveling with
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: the kids, absolutely there's the option to book a child
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: friendly flight. But if I'm traveling by myself trying to
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: escape the kids, I just think there should be a flight.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: Even if there's like you know, the big big planes,
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: there's like two stories, like put the kids down the
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: bottom of the basement and then upstairs can be changes. Yeah, yes,
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: in the body of the plane. Next you carry your pets,
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: you like, just check them in and you put them
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: in a carrier and.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: See you on the other side. Maybe I'm not there
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: to comfort you if something happens.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: I just think, like I sympathize with parents. I would
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: never have a crack at anyone who's got a screaming child.
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: But when you've escaped your kids and you don't have
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: to sit next.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: To a kid, that's what we're talking about. Taking a
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: trip without the kids this year. It's just like a
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: couple of nights. I said to April, because she was like,
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: what about this place, this place, And I was like,
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: there's kids in the photos. I'm not going anywhere near
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: a place that has kids.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: Are you going to book an adult only? Are you?
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Fucking oath?
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: Are you?
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? Yeah yeah. If I see a kid, I'm
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: just kind of throw him into the ocean. So be
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: like I do.
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: You haven't seen my timmy, have you? No?
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: No, no, he can swim right anyway. I totally agree
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: because I know, like when I was younger and I
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: was on like if I had no kids and getting
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: on a flight and I get onto a fight because
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: I would buy a cheap ticket and they'd be fucking
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: like ten screaming kids around me to drive me crazy.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: But I was obviously much younger. I didn't understand what
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: the parents were going through. Did you see just on
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: this really quick that someone went viral. Someone made little
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: gift bags for the people sitting around them to to say, hey, look,
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: just as a pre apology if my child is a
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: bit disturbed during the flight, and it had like some
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: little snacky some lollies, little like sudoku.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: If a random person is like, hey, you going there's
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: a little gift bag, it's.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: Like it as the kids.
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah no, well I'm just like, what do you got
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: in there?
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: A couple of pills?
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: It was clear because that's the only way I can
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: get it on the plane. They were like, you know how,
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: they're like in that have to be in those ziplocked
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: bags and it's just got on their little note saying Hi,
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: my child is X years old. I don't know if
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: the child might have been autistic or something, and it
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: was just like, I just want to say thank you
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: for your patient.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're going to have a terrible experience on this flight,
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: but just to manage your expectations, this's going to happen,
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: because like, that's a nice touch.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: There was also that other video where that guy was
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: on a tour of our flight and that kid would
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: not stop annoying him, and no one was saying anything
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: to the kid. Remember did you say that? So he
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: was there headphones on. He must have interacted once with
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: a game. You know sometimes if you interact with a
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: kid and it's a one off to you, but they
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: think it's a game. And he was like knocking the
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: headphones off his head and the parent was like and
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: the guy was like, this is hell. Hell started filming
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: it because it was so bad, twelve hours to bring
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: in these child free for.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: That's why I'm saying child free flights.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's like they're in business class now. These
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: kids know i'mbelieving. Okay, Matthew, it is my turn, and
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: I have a question for you. Hit me, and that
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: question is as followers, we turn this down. If you've
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: got kids in the car, at what age do you
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: think that you start to tell your kid kids that
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: certain things aren't real? Just preface this to the parents.
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: If I reckon, it has to be done when you
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: start coping a lot of heat, right, because we have
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: now we've got the question from Ali of like.
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: Well, how does how do how does he do it?
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: It is there are so many people such a short
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: amount of time, how is that possible? And I'm like, well,
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: it's magic, and they're like, ah, sure, like question answer,
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: put it to rest. But once they start like really
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: starting to grill you, and they're.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: Like strong line of questioning, yeah.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, once, yeah, once they're digging deeper and like the
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: line of you know, an answer with the word magic
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: doesn't quench their appetite. Yeah, well said, thank you, And
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: they're like, but up, but how but show me how?
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: And then I need facts. Then I think there starts
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: to come a time where you've got to go, Okay,
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: look kid, I fucking lie to you for seven years.
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think when they figure out that you can
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: talk into the remote control to YouTube, that's when you
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: need to tell them before someone else.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: Does how did you find out Santa wasn't really look.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: Well, we didn't have Christmas in my house. Remember if
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: you recall from two years ago that I broke the
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: news to that story and it was on the Daily
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: Mail or something calls from New York. We're going to
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: make a movie about you. In my house, we had
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: no Christmas. We didn't really do Easter in my house.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: Halloween was like if a kid came to the door,
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: Mum over here, literally, she'd be like damn. So I
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: don't really recall, but I know that the neighbors around us,
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: and we were really friends with they did. So I
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: wasn't allowed to say anything, even as a kid because
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: it was like.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: You were that kid. He was on the corner of
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: the street being like, listen, hear Timmy.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: They'll learn one day. But I was thinking about this question,
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: and I was thinking, if you've got if your child
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: has a younger sibling, yes, that's so yeah, me too,
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: do you know? And it's like, do I wait until
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: the youngest is old enough to tell them both? Or
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: do I try and confine in Oscar, who's a blabber
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: mouth of the highest guard that you you can't tell
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: because he would just hold it over and be like,
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: do you really think Santa is real? Because I know the.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: True That's what my older brother did. I was grade
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: I was grade one, and he was like.
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: Fucking idiot and I was I was like, what do
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: you mean.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: He's like, there is no Santa Claus put a cigarette.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's on me and I was like, I
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: was like oh, and I remember being like you you're wrong.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: He is real.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: Right, it goes and I think I ran to mum
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: and I was in tears, being like, is.
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: Tell me, please tell me it doesn't sew.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: And I think she did keep the facade going for
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: a little bit longer than Eventually, after multiple cigarette burns
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: by my brother, I was like, it's.
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: It's a sad time, and it's a sad time. That
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: is going to be a.
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: Sad moment when the tooth fairy Easter Bunny.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: I think it's going to be more sad for April
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: and the kids. I don't really care that much because
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: that's just a reflection of my childhood. We can thank
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: my mum for that. But yeah, look, I'm daunting there.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: I'm just daunting though. How I'm going to explain it
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: because realistically, if you want to get to the needy ingredient,
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: we're encouraging a stranger to enter your house in the
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: middle of the night. Very confusing, and in some instances
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: they take a tooth, that's theft, you know, they do
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: replace it with money in some instances. But like, are
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: we seriously going to sit here and encourage a bearded
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: old man breaking into a breaking and entering into he'd
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: get locked up for life.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: And not only does he I guess he gives you stuff,
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: but you've got to like reward him. You've got to like,
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: you've got to leave, you got to feed him, You've
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: got to give him drink, You've got.
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: There's got to be some sort of crime about breaking
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: into someone and actually giving them something. These kids, we'll
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: get to the bottom of this Santa Claus thing ash.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: Yes, that is our episode, done and dusted.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: Yes it is another day, another week, another episode, another journey.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: And if you have enjoyed this journey so far along
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: with us, and you haven't subscribed, let me just tell
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: you how bitterly disappointed I am in your behavior.
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: Shocking hop on.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: Now we might not come back next week.
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it might never happen or actually wait, we will
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: be back next week and make sure you subscribe so
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: it's in your inbox. Trick and also what else would
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: they do?
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: Ask socials Two Doting Dads Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, or if
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: you want to email us hello at Two Doting Dads
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: dot com, why not send us something don inappropriate? Please
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: don't send us a bit naked picture of Santa.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: Do it? Do it?
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: Coomebye see you. I've definitely got your arm at the
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: moment because it's like it's trying to have sex with me.
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: Fucking back off.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: He's trying to get me to give a fillatio. You're
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: letting nudge and cock in you.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestright Islander
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: peoples today