Latest / Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily / Trick Shot by Kayla Grosse - A MMF Chaotic Christmas!

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Trick Shot by Kayla Grosse - A MMF Chaotic Christmas! · Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily

0:00
Hi friends, you're listening to Loose the Plot with Carla and
0:03
Emily. In this episode we're reading
0:05
Trick Shot by Kayla Gross. We are talking about the entire
0:09
book so warning there will be spoilers.
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I'm Carla and Santa did me a solid this Christmas.
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Ho, ho, fucking hoe. No.
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I'm Emily. I bet she's soaking the couch
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right now, baby, turning it into our own personal slip and slide.
0:40
Before we dive into this juicy episode, we have a tiny favour
0:44
to ask. If you've enjoyed our previous
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episodes and want us to continue creating content, take a moment.
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Right now, click over to our profile and leave us a five star
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review on whichever platform you're using.
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Thank you for supporting us Trigger warnings.
1:02
I made-up my own because this is a kind of not a popular book.
1:06
Yet It's. New It's a short book.
1:08
It's a novella. Novella A novella.
1:11
So we we don't have this. I couldn't find the author.
1:15
Even so I couldn't find an author's trigger list, so I kind
1:18
of made-up my own jump in if there's anything I've forgotten
1:23
Bondage. Unprotected sex?
1:26
Polyamorous relationship, Polyamorous sex.
1:29
Men. Men, PEN, Sexuality and the
1:33
worst 1 Chad. I feel like there's lying in
1:37
there. Manipulation.
1:39
Manipulation. Manipulation.
1:42
Yeah. So that's about it, yeah.
1:44
Or at least that's all I really could see, no?
1:50
Just be prepared to be triggered.
1:54
Just be prepared to be triggered just in case, like be on edge of
1:57
all times, don't. Relax, I listen to our.
1:59
Podcast. You're not allowed to relax.
2:02
No relaxation here. No, this is for the girlies with
2:05
generalized anxiety only. Welcome to the club.
2:10
We have straight jackets. It's fine, it's fine.
2:14
The fact that it's a novella, it gets straight to it.
2:18
There's no lead up. I'm here for it because
2:21
sometimes I don't want the sappy back story about why their
2:24
childhood sucks. Yeah, he's the character.
2:27
Male, female. I don't care.
2:29
I don't want to be LED down a hairy goat path.
2:33
Just tell me why we fuck it just.
2:36
Fuck already. Just get.
2:37
Into it. Just get to the Dicks.
2:41
Just it's quite a pain us in already.
2:47
But it's so true, though, because sometimes I like that it
2:50
just gets to it. Like just we know what we're
2:52
here for. We saw the cover, we know what
2:54
this is about. We're introduced to Leo, who's
2:57
our main male character. Yeah, I.
3:00
Love the fact that it's just straight up.
3:02
He's like, yeah, I'm pansexual. We don't do labels.
3:06
We have a relationship that's not cookie cutter.
3:08
Normal, yeah. How?
3:11
And he. Didn't even need to tell Jace he
3:14
met this. Girl at the.
3:17
Airport. What's a face?
3:19
I already forgot her name. It's Riley.
3:22
Riley he met. He met Riley at the airport.
3:26
He doesn't have to. Ask Chase is already in for it
3:29
though Jase. Doesn't Jase does not even
3:31
matter. Jase is on the way to the
3:33
airport. No clue to.
3:35
Be fair. The only thing that bugged me
3:37
about this was Jase assuming that he's in.
3:40
He's right. Yeah.
3:41
I'm like the assumption, the assumption that your Dick is
3:46
also going in the friend, yes. This was the weirdest meat cute
3:51
ever. She's just smashing down
3:53
martinis at the bar because her flight was delayed.
3:56
How am I going to get home? Everything is cancelled.
4:00
Plump queen. Snow is on the floor, yeah.
4:03
Yeah, And then he looks over and he's just taken that taken
4:08
aback. By.
4:10
By her green eyed. Her festive queen, she is
4:13
dressed. Like a little.
4:14
Candy cane. Can you imagine her just wearing
4:17
this really embarrassing Christmas ghetto and him being
4:20
like? Yeah.
4:25
And I was like, Oogie, you can tell he hasn't been with a woman
4:28
for a while because he was just like, for what?
4:31
I was like, relax. She's in the cringiest missus.
4:38
She's got the grey wig and on on, No?
4:40
No, she's dressed up like The Who people from the cringe with
4:46
the hairdo and he's like, oh gosh, fuck.
4:53
You know what, I'm not surprised because there's a couple of
4:55
times that any of them speak in this book and I'm like, why were
4:58
you allowed? This book was already ridiculous
5:01
from the get go, so I feel like it set the tone.
5:03
Whereas other books take themselves too seriously.
5:05
Yeah, this one already knew that.
5:07
It was ridiculous. It was a it was a slope.
5:09
It was a. Downfall from here.
5:11
Exactly. But it it knew that it was just
5:13
bullshits and gigs. I feel like the book knew what
5:15
it was doing. Yeah, it knew it was getting
5:18
crashed. It was.
5:20
Like raccoons sifting through the trash, it was that little.
5:24
Straight up trash. You just knew it was trash.
5:27
It was fine with. It it's OK.
5:29
I love it when a book knows that it's trash.
5:31
Yeah. Being picked up at the airport,
5:34
essentially by two dudes that are strangers is absolutely the
5:39
last thing I would ever do in real life.
5:41
Terrifying. But I ate this up in book form.
5:44
I was like, yes, Queen, do something for you.
5:47
Get out there. Chad can go get fucked, you guys
5:51
a year ago. She was like, I'm getting the
5:53
Dick tonight. Well, the best part is she looks
5:56
over and sees this man across the airport.
6:01
Bar yeah. He's a celebrity.
6:04
He's a famous hockey player and she knew him and she was a fan.
6:08
She was a fan. Her sister was a fan.
6:11
And she's just like, yes, I'm gonna go home with this guy.
6:15
And at this point I'm like get it.
6:18
She even says, famously Jiminy Christmas.
6:24
Stop it. I can't believe I need a trigger
6:26
warning for that. Fucking hell.
6:29
Jiminy Christmas. Oh no.
6:31
I can't believe this is happening to me.
6:34
Me, I'm getting laid by Sexy as fuck hockey player tonight,
6:42
Jiminy. But if this Jiminy but if OK,
6:47
Santa's going down the chimney. She's getting chimney chimney
6:51
cricketed. OK, so if this was real life
6:54
though? He was getting murdered if.
6:58
This was real life. It would be just a true crime
7:03
podcast about how we got full murdered because we went home
7:09
with strangers at the International Airport.
7:16
Oh my God and stop. Willingly, because he was a She
7:22
was Dick. Dick.
7:24
Dick. Dick.
7:27
Dick. Dick.
7:27
Dick. Dick.
7:28
Dick, she's getting dicked down. Well, not yet.
7:34
We're getting ahead of the game. She's.
7:37
Already thinking about it? But yeah, literally, real life
7:39
absolutely get fucked. I don't even make eye contact
7:41
with people at the airport. In the look, let alone men.
7:45
Men like. Contact with men.
7:48
Sign me out of it. If anything, I'm trying to make
7:52
no eye contact with men. Exactly.
7:54
She did it wailingly. Even when my suitcase comes
7:58
around, the fucking baggage claimer, I'm just like, you're
8:00
like twish. Look, you're staring.
8:02
At the floor I'm. Staring at the hole that the
8:04
bags come out of and nothing else, I don't wanna have a
8:08
conversation with anybody. But Jim and me.
8:11
She had nowhere to go, nowhere to be.
8:14
She was stranded. And no place home.
8:16
No, she's at the wrong airport at the wrong time.
8:19
Chad's all up her asshole. Well, not really, but she was
8:21
upset because. Chad.
8:24
Chad. Ruined everything.
8:25
Yeah, but they broke up a year ago.
8:27
Who cares, girl? The fact that his name was Chad?
8:29
Oh. That was already the worst part.
8:31
That was the red flag. Don't ever date anyone named
8:35
Chad who willingly names their kid Chad.
8:37
Exactly. I don't think it's a real thing.
8:39
It's not real. It's got to be just a nickname
8:42
found, because what is it? Chadwick.
8:44
Chadwick. What's the actual?
8:48
What we learned from the beginning is Riley thinks she's
8:52
looking at what's his face. Lucas.
8:56
Lucas. Fuck in hell.
8:59
I read this yesterday. Jesus, somebody shipped me some
9:02
Ginkgo Bavlova stats. It was like.
9:08
Who is it? What is getting Jason Lucas
9:11
mixed up the? Fact that you can remember Lucas
9:14
like it was not the most said name in the.
9:16
Book. Sorry, sorry.
9:18
So she thinks it's Lucas who is the famous hockey player, but
9:22
it's actually, in fact Leo, the identical twin brother who's
9:25
equal is fucking successful. With sad eyes and that no golden
9:30
retriever energy. But I mean, bro, you're almost
9:35
just as famous. It's the same thing.
9:39
Literally this. Is the same.
9:41
Same genetic material. He's so sad.
9:44
For what? For what?
9:46
And he does it all the time when people come up and be like, oh
9:49
Oh my God, Lucas. He's just living to his brother
9:51
at this point. What is with men?
9:54
In books, right. Lying for no reason.
9:57
Well, no, that's not what I was going to say.
9:59
But their obsession with the sports, like they just they've
10:02
got nowhere to be nowhere. That's it.
10:04
Their whole life is ruined, injured.
10:06
Why does it matter? Because that's this big shot.
10:10
You can tell I've got no ambition, no no great care.
10:15
Just get another hobby, ADHD. Oh my God.
10:22
I just think. OK, that is going to bite him in
10:24
the ass and it's unnecessary. Just be like, I'm actually his
10:28
twin brother Leo. I can still fulfill this fantasy
10:30
for you, baby girl. Yeah, that's all.
10:32
You needed to. Say it takes 2 seconds.
10:35
And also, if you're taking this girl home and you really want to
10:39
take her home, just tell her in the car, drive home.
10:41
Just be like, oh hey, by the way.
10:43
I'm like, sorry I lied to you. My name is in fact Leonardo.
10:49
DiCaprio and Are you over 25? Because if so, we can't do this.
10:54
We can't do this. You're a bit old for me.
10:57
No, he's like, I'm going to eat this Strawberry Shortcake.
11:01
She wasn't going to say no. She had nowhere to be my guy.
11:04
She was horny the moment she stepped inside that airport.
11:08
You were good. You were good, airport.
11:12
She was not horny the second she stepped into the airport.
11:15
Airport. She's like airport horny.
11:19
She's thinking that Mile High. Oh yeah.
11:21
She was going places. What am I going to do if not
11:24
fuck strangers on Christmas Eve? Tis the season to be jolly.
11:30
Jiminy. Jiminy Oh my God.
11:36
Oh my God. OK, so anyway, lying aside, Jace
11:41
picks them up because he's the lift.
11:43
He's our Polynesian king. Right, right.
11:47
And he picks them up. They're heading back to a
11:50
penthouse. He has a penthouse.
11:54
House. He could have.
11:55
It doesn't matter. She's getting lavished up.
11:59
Yeah, she walks in and she's like, Oh my God, I've never seen
12:02
anything like. This the fact this fucking 10
12:06
shower heads in here. There's so much room for
12:08
activity. Because Leo made the moves
12:13
first, Lucas is just slaving away in the kitchen while they.
12:17
Stop, Jace. Fuck.
12:19
Jace. Who did I say?
12:20
Lucas. Lucas.
12:24
Why is there brothers? Sorry.
12:26
So Jace. Oh, my kitchen.
12:33
Just slaving away, just being like they were going to do
12:36
something anyway, so I'm just going to let that play out.
12:39
They were in there for an hour. That whole water system, Hun.
12:44
Chase is slaving. Away.
12:46
Slaving in the kitchen, putting together a Christmas beast.
12:49
A lot of steak and potato and. These people, fancy, are just
12:54
fiddling and diddling in the shower for an hour.
12:57
Getting it done. Getting it done, not the weeping
13:00
light pink. No.
13:02
Covered. No, no, because there should
13:05
never. There should never be an instant
13:10
where it's called weeping, that was.
13:12
Trapped, weeping, and leaking in this book.
13:14
Is it a puss filled vagina? I thought the white pink was the
13:19
pussy and I was like, she's translucent.
13:23
What she's going. On.
13:24
But it was the pussy fabric. I mean the the panty fabric.
13:28
It took me into another world. Why is it?
13:31
What's going on with her coochie and?
13:33
Not be Why is it weeping, weeping, and it's granny panted
13:37
up. Why is it?
13:38
What's weeping out of it? Can we just talk about the the
13:41
fact that she was wearing Spanx granny panties on a fucking
13:45
plane get? Fucked get fucked.
13:47
You could not catch me. Dead.
13:49
It was because she was working and she didn't have time
13:51
beforehand. But you're going on a plane,
13:54
love. There's no way I'm wearing Spanx
13:58
while I'm being up in the air compression.
14:02
I mean, you're right. But here we are, here we are.
14:05
There's so, there's literally so many things going on.
14:08
Oh, there's so many things. She's stressed.
14:11
She wants to shave. Yeah, she's freaking out.
14:14
Is there peace and privacy in this?
14:16
Penthouse. No, no.
14:17
He's like rocked up and he was like, why so sad?
14:20
Girly. She's like, I'm a hairy beast
14:23
and I didn't expect to get laid and I'm wearing granny pennies.
14:25
She isn't worried about her legs, so does that mean her
14:28
coochie is? Coochie hairy.
14:34
I just. He didn't shave the coochie.
14:37
No, he didn't. But she was like, I feel so safe
14:40
enough to come home with him. But she said this when he
14:43
offered to shave her legs. So safe because he's lending
14:47
you're a razor. I know.
14:49
What the fuck? They just don't give her a
14:52
minute. I know.
14:53
Just let her have a shower. Damn.
14:55
Damn, she even says I need a shower.
14:58
It would be nice to wash up too. I hate the feeling like an it.
15:01
She's like, I ran my ass through the my ass.
15:06
She's. Like I ran my ass through that
15:08
to the terminal. She's really chafing.
15:11
I'm like, so her crap just smelly.
15:13
She's just not going to let her shower?
15:15
She's. Got the.
15:16
Cracks. She's got the crack.
15:18
She's got the She doesn't wash that ass in days.
15:24
You know what, though. That's a real stressor.
15:26
She's like, I just need to rub some soap in my crap.
15:30
I'm actually so stressed because why didn't they just let her
15:34
freshen up? Nothing makes me want to shower
15:37
more than being on a plane or being in an airport.
15:40
It's a cesspool. It is, it's.
15:42
Disgusting. Even though she didn't leave the
15:45
airport, the first thing I want to do when I get home from
15:48
travelling is wash my hair because no shower is the same.
15:52
And it's just get all these airport germs off me.
15:55
She couldn't even wash her. Ass she.
16:00
Literally looked this man dead ass in the face and said my
16:03
crack is not cliche and. The best part is he went to the
16:08
event of shaving her legs. Like live it up.
16:11
You couldn't just splash the coochie.
16:14
What he he was literally all up in there, too.
16:17
He's just like and he was weeping.
16:20
He's groveling that weeping coochie I at this point.
16:28
At this point, fuck up the coochie pH and splash some soap
16:32
in there. It's fine, dude.
16:34
It's just one time. Have a quick pussy rinse.
16:38
Even a rinse. Like, dude, just let her bathe.
16:43
You're telling me this girl was embarrassed and nervous, but she
16:46
was like, my crack ain't clean. Your guy isn't enough to get him
16:54
out of the shower. She just wanted a shower and.
16:56
Pee. Oh my God.
16:58
Stop. And then he rolls up in the
17:00
shower naked, and she's like, what do I expect him to wear?
17:03
A Speedo? A full space suit my friend, But
17:08
he's heading to toe. Weeping turns they just rub
17:12
their little dirty Dicks. She hasn't got a Dick, but
17:16
still, rub your dirty Roddy Privates together, you sick
17:21
fuck. You telling me he's rich but he
17:23
can't? Afford.
17:24
To wash that pee hole. Why did they?
17:29
Why are they in the shower? But everything they did was
17:32
like, tell me why you tell? Him.
17:36
Oh, the bacteria in this fucking shower.
17:43
And then old mate Jace is cooking dinner listening to
17:45
their sex noises. Gross.
17:48
I'd be glad they're. Just rubbing fucking.
17:52
They're like, hey Jace, I hope you haven't shouted in a week.
17:55
It's you got to keep up. You got to have that ball stank
17:58
to be allowed to come in here. I just I I.
18:02
Don't know, there's just so much.
18:05
Did he think she was going to run away if he didn't stay in
18:07
the shower with her? I think so.
18:09
Maybe he was trying to give her not enough time to change her
18:12
mind. Yes.
18:14
But even when he walks in and she's like, she's eyes to Dick
18:18
immediately and he's like, you're fit.
18:21
How do you know? Dude, that gives a littlest Dick
18:23
energy I've ever heard in my life.
18:26
But apparently it was huge. His was.
18:28
Longer than Jace's, but not as thick.
18:34
How do you know that's why she's stressed?
18:36
Maybe she's had bigger Dicks. Well, she didn't even her mind.
18:41
The most unrealistic thing is, wouldn't you?
18:44
You're meeting this famous person, wouldn't you do a cheeky
18:46
selfie for the Instagram story? Yes.
18:49
Come on, you're not going to get evidence of this, Lazon.
18:55
You're just going to what? Are you doing, girl?
18:56
What are you? Doing.
18:58
You're doing it for the plot, but no one knows about it.
18:59
Shut up. And they're in this dirty
19:01
shower. And then he pulls a butt plug
19:03
out of nowhere. Whose butt plug is it?
19:05
Oh. My God, is it sanitized?
19:09
No. You know that it's not.
19:12
It's fine. You know that it's not.
19:20
You know, they were just using it last night and it was just
19:25
conveniently in the bathroom still.
19:27
It's been 5 fucking minutes and he's trying to put a butt plug
19:31
in the strangest ass First thing they do mine.
19:35
That's the first thing they do. Oh my.
19:38
God, she's actually. What is that?
19:40
She goes. I trust you to put it in.
19:42
Why? Yeah, why you're?
19:44
Trusting a man who's trying to put something in your ass after
19:48
5 minutes of knowing you and he's coming at you with a
19:51
fucking razor blade. You're telling me you wouldn't
19:56
let Henry Cavill put a pop plug in your ass, sight unseen?
20:02
You're telling me I? Wouldn't because he's a weird.
20:04
Fucking ass. What do you want?
20:07
You would or you wouldn't. I wouldn't.
20:11
OK, so someone you're a fan of? Who are you fangirling right
20:15
now? I would let Charlie.
20:18
Is it glimpsy? Who the fuck is that?
20:21
Let me show you this glimpse, Glimpsy.
20:24
I think you just make up people. I do not.
20:29
It's the love of my life. I watched him in one thing and I
20:33
just decided, you know what's sad?
20:35
I can't watch him in anything else because I don't want the
20:37
ick. I can't hang on.
20:41
He's giving Jacob award his younger.
20:42
Brother no. Stop it.
20:44
Why do you hate Jacob? Anyway, that man blows my mind.
20:52
OK, OK, so wait, what's his name again?
20:55
CC. So Charlie comes up to you sight
20:59
unseen, has a big purple dildo butt, and you're going to say
21:03
no, I. Actually, probably would say no.
21:06
I'd be like, are you from high? Yeah, true.
21:09
Where did you get this from? Well, she was on board, She.
21:12
She was down. That they wanted to do a
21:14
threesome, so at least she knew and it wasn't sprung on her and
21:19
he's like, no, it's fine, it'll just burn all the way in and
21:22
then she's scooching. We're good.
21:24
We're good. We're good.
21:25
We're ready to go. Bitch.
21:27
What? Because honestly, you're at an
21:30
airport. When was your last meal?
21:33
You weren't expecting to have sex, let alone anal.
21:35
It's fine. Jason's cooking.
21:37
He's cooking. But how are they going to eat a
21:39
full Christmas feast and then do anal?
21:42
They're not eating a full Christmas feast, they're having
21:44
steak and potato. That's still a full meal.
21:48
It is fair. You're telling me you're going
21:50
to eat a full meal right before anal?
21:52
Literally, I'm going to eat a steak and potato.
21:54
Meal right before anal. Double seared, apparently.
21:58
Oh, delicious. It doesn't change.
22:00
Anything. No.
22:00
Oh, are you thinking about the meat parts from the last?
22:03
Oh no God, I I literally wiped that from my memory.
22:10
OK I. Forgot that was the thing.
22:11
At the He's putting the butt plug in, right?
22:15
Red flags all round and he goes, you take my plug so well.
22:20
It's almost in, so it is his. And there she goes.
22:27
You have such a dirty mouth. And then he goes the better to
22:31
eat you with my dear that. Doesn't make sense.
22:33
Oh, he does. Yeah.
22:34
Yeah. Gotcha.
22:36
He has such a she goes, you have such a dirty mouth, and he
22:39
responds with the better to eat you with, my dear.
22:43
I hated Granny Wolf. Jesus.
22:47
Like, OK, three little bits. Leo is not allowed to talk.
22:50
He's not allowed a word, is not allowed.
22:52
Any time he spoke. It was all the worst things.
22:56
I just love how she's never had anal before.
22:59
She's like, I trust you, you've never done anal.
23:02
And you're telling me you're going in hard with a man's butt
23:05
plug? His asshole is gaping at this
23:08
point. It's fine.
23:09
He's not the biggest butt plug out.
23:11
Yeah, and she's just like, yeah, slap her on in.
23:16
It's fine. I got this.
23:17
Not only that, right We were assaulted by Butt Plug.
23:21
She immediately referred to her vagina as my sex.
23:25
There's a point in this book where she calls Leo's penic his
23:31
sex. And I was like that doesn't
23:33
work. It barely works.
23:35
Where did you get your writing degree?
23:38
It's disgusting. Never my sex.
23:40
Stop. It makes me think of animals
23:42
breeding and I'm not into it. Oh my God, so during the steamy
23:47
shower scene. So he's eating her up.
23:49
And then she. Yells out.
23:51
Oh Lucas bitch, that's his brothers name.
23:54
And right after in the book he mentions that it deflated his
23:57
boner. Because my question was bro.
23:59
You know what? You know what?
24:01
I bet you it didn't. I bet you you got heart off it.
24:05
That's he's. Sorry in his own brothers ass.
24:11
Let's hope not. He's so up his brother's arse,
24:16
he's so desperate. No, no, I just.
24:18
I don't like him as a character. He just said the shit of things.
24:21
So I'm just like he's in his brother's arse at this.
24:23
Point. He's so dumb.
24:26
I don't get it. You're a successful dude anyway.
24:29
You're getting 10% of these multi millions.
24:31
You're telling me that? This.
24:34
Riley didn't get the ick anytime he spoke.
24:38
He literally after that booty to eat you with or before the he
24:43
goes just good little slut. Now I know why Santa sent you to
24:47
me. Or was it Krampus stop go
24:51
straight to? Jail.
24:53
Fucking quit. Stop.
24:56
Who is Krampus? Are you evil, Santa?
25:01
Yes. I just and then.
25:03
There's like butt plug in their over mouth kissing like Kath and
25:08
Cal fun Kath and Kim. Yeah, and it just keeps going.
25:12
Gagging on each others breaths. This spit is ripping.
25:15
Can you imagine if she couldn't even wash the coochie, she
25:17
hasn't done a mouthwash. No.
25:20
She's got that stale airport breath in.
25:22
You don't know when she loves it.
25:24
She could have pepperoni for lunch.
25:26
I hope she did at the. Pepperoni Jace joins in after
25:34
their meal. At some point it's all a blur.
25:37
It's all just. A big sex blur, but anyway, this
25:39
whole. Book is a guide on how to
25:41
stimulate the butt. Plug Yeah, it's one gigantic,
25:45
never running sex scene and there's no way you can get.
25:48
Me otherwise. It just starts and it doesn't
25:52
stop insulting you. OK, before Jace Jace gets in
25:56
there right, getting back. To the crash, To the butt plug.
26:01
I'm sick. You're going back to the butt,
26:02
but yes. He goes to eat her out and he
26:05
goes, She's tangy and sweet. Where's the Tang coming from?
26:10
What's going on down there? Butt sweat?
26:12
It's the weeping pussy that's tangy for me.
26:20
Where's the Tang? Why's the Tang?
26:22
That's Tang. What's the Tang?
26:25
It's just the coochie coming around to the halfway point.
26:29
And I realized this book is just one straight up pawn.
26:31
And I'm not even mad at because I'm like, fucking.
26:34
You know, if you're gone, all in, this is one, you're gone.
26:37
Yeah, I'm like, who cares? Balls to the ball.
26:38
That's kind of done. I was like, Ogi powering
26:41
through. Jace joins them.
26:43
The daddy nickname makes no sense.
26:48
But the daddy nickname? Who's calling her daddy for
26:51
what? Stop it.
26:54
It's. The donkey.
26:56
Why? Yes, Sir.
26:57
Leo's using his Dong voice for me.
27:00
The daddy? No.
27:00
What's even an age gap? Who was Daddy?
27:03
Who's. Daddy and honestly, honestly.
27:08
How upset are we? Talking about food anyway he's
27:14
like, I need my strength It's this is about the daddy and he's
27:17
like I love when daddy Jace comes out to stop, stop it.
27:22
The fact that Daddy Jace keeps saying Good boy day, Jace, good
27:27
boy. Exactly, it's.
27:31
Just. The way it hurt, it not hurt.
27:35
Not in a good way, no. Not in a great way.
27:38
OK, can we just get to What the fuck is this glass Christmas
27:43
tree ornament that gets shoved up her punani?
27:47
You can't. Tell me that that is so thick
27:51
and so. What design is this?
27:54
Not breakable. It's.
27:55
Pointy and you can't tell me otherwise.
27:58
Yeah. And she's like, I can't put that
28:01
up my ass. And he's like, it's your pussy.
28:03
You already got a butt plug in there.
28:06
It's never coming out. It's just saying in there
28:09
forever. But there's someone consent,
28:12
which is great. We love the Consent King apart.
28:16
From the fact that it's not really him, because isn't that.
28:20
Sexual assault. It's not informed consent.
28:22
Because if you tell someone you're somebody and you're
28:25
lying, they think you're having sex with the original person.
28:29
Isn't that non consent? It's not consent because they're
28:32
consenting to. It's not informed sex.
28:34
Yeah, yeah, but there's a point where at this, around this time,
28:39
when he's shoving everything in this girl's body, he's like, do
28:44
we have your consent to do anything we want to?
28:47
Like murder? Yeah, like straight up murder.
28:49
You're coming at her with a razor like 10 minutes ago.
28:53
But he. Shaved her lovingly.
28:55
So it's OK with love, not the not using condoms.
29:00
I was so offended. There's nothing special about
29:04
Riley. They're both like, we can just
29:06
tell. She's so special.
29:08
She's the one. We just want to jizz in all her
29:10
holes. I love before they even jizz in
29:15
our holes, right? Yes.
29:17
They're taking off her leggings. Her leggings are.
29:20
Storage. Go piss girl.
29:23
Jesus, calm down. But she goes, I nearly yelled.
29:26
Flash flood warning. Stop.
29:29
You're just as bad. Go to the.
29:34
Toilet go piss. Girl go piss, girl.
29:37
And then this is what they're doing.
29:38
Their daddy Dom situation and he's like that butt plug will
29:43
eat your ass alive. What is it doing?
29:47
Why is a butt plug eating your ass like it doesn't make sense?
29:51
It doesn't make it. The opposite way around your
29:53
arse should be. Eating that butt plug just
29:56
found. Can I just say there was too
29:57
much leakage from all parties involved.
30:01
They kept using the word leak. Stop.
30:04
There's too many. Fluids.
30:05
Too many fluids. Dude, what is going on?
30:07
Not at the hydration, are they? Smashing Gatorade before they
30:11
did all this. Deficient.
30:15
Can I just dehydrate it? Warning for another word?
30:19
Stop, OK? This one's fucking fell.
30:22
You're so snug. You're so tight.
30:26
No, but it was snug. Constantly snug.
30:29
Stop it. Every time they described her
30:32
and they described her as pliable against these hard
30:37
playing. Stop.
30:39
Stop it. Because she's soft.
30:41
She's a plump. What do we think of the
30:44
Strawberry Shortcake nickname? Fucking disgusting.
30:48
Honestly. Take Me Out of this world.
30:52
When did he get the Christmas ornament?
30:54
He's like, I want a knife and prime for the stuffing.
30:57
Yeah, because the Christmas ornament is going to fucking
31:00
help. I know I don't.
31:02
Know, and then you know what she does with the Christmas
31:04
ornament. She squirts.
31:06
Of course she does. I what?
31:11
Why is it why she's squirting? She's like it feels euphoric.
31:15
Who's saying that in sex? Who's going like this is the
31:18
most euphoric feeling? Girl.
31:20
Girl. Yikes.
31:21
So the sex scene itself goes for so long and it's just double
31:26
penetration. It's just fucking insanity.
31:28
It's insanity at this point. Just stop, Dicks.
31:34
I know. I feel like they're using her as
31:36
a cop out to not be gay, like they're offended by their own
31:41
gayness. But they're gay with each other
31:43
all the time. They're gay with each other all
31:45
the time, but it's like they are offended and need her to make it
31:50
not seem gay. Do you know what I mean?
31:51
But they are pansexual. And bisexual, so they're kind
31:55
of. Attracted to her, but they're
31:57
totally using her as a Fleshlight.
31:59
That's what I mean. But then they're trying to get
32:01
her off, so I'm very. Confused.
32:03
It's very. I'm very conflicted.
32:04
It's very confusing because. They're trying to get her off,
32:06
they're trying to please her. They go down on her a million
32:08
times. It's fucking what's his name.
32:10
Leo pretty much suffocates. Oh yeah.
32:13
Constantly. There's a point where he's
32:16
giving Jay's head, She's giving him head.
32:20
Honestly, it's just a human set of heeds.
32:22
It's funny, the fact that they tried to make Leo.
32:25
They're like, oh, he's not a Dom tonight.
32:27
It's Jay's. OK, fair.
32:29
But he's the most bottom bottom I've ever read.
32:32
Exactly. I just don't understand how this
32:36
girl has probably not had sex in a year and she's ready for a
32:40
coke can Dick in her asshole and then another one in her and it's
32:45
just fine. It's just the magic of the
32:46
moment. It's just she.
32:48
Came up with a celeb. You.
32:50
How can you trust someone, even if they're a celeb just with
32:53
your asshole? Just.
32:56
It feels like there should be a lot more work into the asshole.
33:00
Well, they had Lube opening up every five.
33:03
Minutes in the background. That Lube be popping, you know
33:07
they had fucking a 5 liter jug in the cupboard.
33:10
I just think it's. Weird how when they talked about
33:12
birth control, they're just like, she's like, oh, I'm on the
33:15
pill. Why are you trying to get them
33:18
to raw docu? You don't know how many people
33:20
they hook up with it every week. Why aren't we taking it even?
33:23
She goes. Oh yeah, and I've been checked.
33:25
She could be fucking everyone, yeah.
33:28
They're fucking everyone both ways.
33:30
They could have been fucking everyone, but they're the ones
33:32
in a penthouse and a pulley, so I feel like there's more chance
33:36
of them fucking everyone than her.
33:38
Who's like, I haven't gotten over my boyfriend Chad from last
33:41
year, but anyone can have an SI. Why is Chad such a thought?
33:46
I know, get over chat. It sounds like a loose.
33:48
Fucking yeah. You can't tell me that after
33:52
that insane sex scene, you can just pass out and not wake up
33:58
with the craziest UTI and queef all night.
34:02
You'd be creepy. Funny.
34:04
You're a tired night. Pussy blown out.
34:10
They don't care. Asshole.
34:11
Blown. Out.
34:12
I mean, the fact that her crack was was sweating, I don't.
34:17
Think she didn't even bathe? They cleaned her up.
34:20
What? It's like a fucking.
34:21
Yeah, she woke up clean. How did they clean her?
34:25
I don't know. Oh, OK.
34:26
Sorry, I missed that. But wouldn't you have the cloth?
34:30
But wouldn't you have the craziest UTI?
34:33
Oh, 100% that she'd be. Burning piss just be burning for
34:37
days, I. Can just imagine them going from
34:39
ass to badge, ass to badge, and then their Dicks going from
34:43
their Dick, their butts to her, butts to her.
34:46
Yeah. And then they were going to have
34:49
sex the next morning, but they're like, hey, too sore.
34:53
Fuck. And then?
34:54
He touches her and she just kisses in pain, but she's she
34:58
is. She is the least confident
35:00
person, but you're telling me she's getting on her knees?
35:03
Yeah, but straight away she's like, oh, I better please them
35:05
because I'm in their penthouse and I'm taking up space.
35:07
Oh my God and their life. And she's like, use me.
35:10
That was used. You've.
35:13
Been years. That was the most revolting part
35:18
of the book. Go.
35:19
You can just go. Go.
35:22
Home Steal some things and leave.
35:25
Take a picture for the gram. What are you even doing this?
35:29
No one's even going to believe this story.
35:31
Dumb bitch. Fucking steal some rings.
35:33
I don't know. Sell their shit out him.
35:37
I would point it out as well. It's a good time to point out
35:42
that the author kept using the wrong come.
35:45
Oh really? So there's a bit where she goes
35:47
your he goes. Your big tits are going to look
35:49
so good painted with our come. But it was CEO every time it's
35:53
up. Yikes.
35:55
Maybe that? Was a choice.
35:58
Not a good one. I love how they had sex.
36:05
They had this weird sex the next morning.
36:07
They hadn't even started having sex the second time, right?
36:10
She's asking herself, would I ever consider being in a Poly
36:14
relationship? Shut up, bitch.
36:16
You just got tag teamed. Oh my gosh and.
36:19
She's literally It's the anal to love pipeline in disorder.
36:23
Fact in real time. In real time life.
36:27
And in color, I'm just like, What is this bitch thinking?
36:30
She was not convinced. She's never had an orgasm in her
36:33
life and this is what's happening.
36:35
She be squirting. She's like, this is it the?
36:37
Squirting the anal. And the no condom.
36:40
She was like, I'm special. The raw dogging they can not
36:46
fight because she finds out that Lucas is Leo.
36:51
Because fucking Jay screams out his name.
36:53
Oh yeah, Well, he's wanking his own Dick on her tits.
36:56
Yeah, that was vivid. And I'm sorry, I'm.
37:02
Sorry for. It you can't tell me she's she
37:05
does that I'm You just lied to me and that's why I'm sad.
37:08
No, bitch. You're disappointed that it was
37:10
not Lucas, that's what's happening.
37:13
But she has. Every right to be angry.
37:14
She has every right to be angry, but I don't think she's angry
37:18
because they lied. I think she's angry because it's
37:20
not Lucas. Yeah, she wanted to rub it in
37:23
her sister's face. Yeah, she wanted that hockey
37:26
player Dick fair. Because you just got ripped off
37:31
with the imitation. Imitation.
37:34
You went out and bought, you bought a Gucci bag and it's
37:36
actually a rip. Off You know, she's the sad, sad
37:40
hockey player that didn't make it.
37:42
That was better than his brother, but.
37:45
She's had no body so she's punching up anyway.
37:49
As soon as she walks into that penthouse, she's punching up.
37:52
And good for her. Imagine the old shit and leave.
37:57
Leave, bitch. Get that?
37:59
Cracking. Fraud.
38:02
Imagine, though, waking up in these strangers penthouse on
38:06
Christmas Day. Every Christmas Day is going to
38:09
be tainted by this memory. This is your Roman Empire.
38:14
This is her Titanic moment where Rose is like it's been 84 years.
38:20
This is going to be her moment where she's she's retelling it a
38:23
million years later. I mean fair.
38:26
Christmas Day isn't for this tomfoolery.
38:31
Christmas Day is so. Brilliant.
38:34
For God. It's for.
38:36
It's really yes. At this point, stop.
38:40
Stop. You saw the rebirth.
38:44
Jesus birthday or some shit, aren't.
38:46
I don't. Know.
38:47
You know what, though. It's PG.
38:49
It's family. Yes.
38:51
Calm down the one. The one opportunity she has to
38:56
have sex in like a whole year and we're slut shaming it.
39:01
Just move it to Boxing Day. Yeah, hello.
39:04
The Black Friday special class. That's what they said.
39:11
It's kind of sex scene. It's for new.
39:13
Year's. Yeah.
39:15
Get it right, It's for your rebirth.
39:18
Oh my God. She's like, I can't take the
39:21
chance. I've got to jump on it while I
39:24
have the opportunity. Can I just say it came up a
39:28
couple of times that she was rubbing her thighs to get to get
39:32
some relief when she was horny, and I don't understand how that
39:35
works, but maybe I'm just a thigh gap queen.
39:39
Let me rub now like. How?
39:41
What is going on they? Always bring it up And I'm like,
39:43
what? How?
39:44
How? She hasn't got a spare hand.
39:47
Are you humping the couch? Is that what's happening?
39:49
How do you rub your thighs together and it's going to get
39:52
all the way? Up to you know, she's just
39:54
snailing the floor at this point.
39:57
Imagine finding out mid bukaki that old maid lied to you
40:00
though. It's just it's not OK.
40:04
But you're getting sprayed their house.
40:07
Tell me that Jase didn't do it on purpose.
40:11
Yes, she's. Dripping.
40:13
At this point, does she get to have a shower?
40:16
That is the shower. That is the shower.
40:18
Actually don't have. The way they haven't paid their
40:22
water in months, The way that Jason just sad looks and like
40:31
Leo just hasn't gotten it. That, yeah.
40:33
He doesn't get it. He's just like, oh, this is the
40:35
best time. And they're just like ones angry
40:37
one. Sad.
40:38
Ribbons jizz, I'm talking. Burning cum everywhere.
40:43
I hope there's a pile on their floor that just is sticky.
40:47
And then she runs off. She's like bye bitches.
40:50
I'm out of here. Yeah, first ticket.
40:53
Home, yeah. Where she should have been going
40:56
in the 1st place, meets up with her sister tells her the whole
41:00
story. Her sister doesn't even believe
41:01
her at first because she's like. Yeah.
41:04
OK, cool. And then afterwards, yeah,
41:08
fucking Leo goes for a giant walk.
41:11
Oh fucking was it, Jake? Poor dead ONS Leo.
41:14
Yeah 'cause Jason's like, you're a piece of shit.
41:17
And I I told you at the beginning that why did you even
41:20
bother lying about this? And then he had to re evaluate
41:23
his entire belief system. It's.
41:26
Funny how you just destroy a girl's life and then you decide
41:29
to date the only man that can be in your presence.
41:33
And then they're having their own weird relationship issue
41:36
where they're like, I guess we are made for each other.
41:40
I guess we are dating. These have been fucking for
41:42
years, yes? Get with the program.
41:45
You've been ticked down every way to Sunday for the past 10
41:51
years. It sounds like these aren't
41:52
together. You live together.
41:55
They don't yet, pretty much. Get it together.
41:58
Oh my God. Fucking commitment issues, my
42:02
ass. And the only reason they can
42:04
commit to each other is because they realize they want to bring
42:07
Riley in. Yeah.
42:08
Just admit you fucking hate each other's guts.
42:14
Just get it together. You are grown men.
42:19
Grown. Men.
42:21
So their idea is, oh, we'll just stalk her So they find her
42:25
details and stalk her to her hometown, where she's trying to
42:30
have a nice pub meal, a pub feed with the sister.
42:33
OK, you're telling me, OK, while we're thinking about this pub
42:37
meal, they were like, we need to go get a little more privacy to
42:40
talk about this and they go to a.
42:42
Fucking sports pub I know. Go sit in the backyard a pub.
42:47
These are the conversations I would love to eavesdrop.
42:50
In 100%. I'd be like.
42:52
Well, she did what would. She's doing it for the people,
42:56
the people that need to hear it, The Dirty old men in the.
42:59
Sports bar the small town gossip is always better than big town
43:03
gossip. Yeah, I.
43:04
Cannot be convinced all the way there.
43:06
OK, so Jace and fucking Leo, particularly Leo.
43:11
He's like, we've got to fight for our girl.
43:13
You fucked once. She doesn't want to borrow it.
43:18
It's been 5 fucking hours. Relax.
43:23
And also, what do they really know about this girl?
43:25
They know basically her job. She could be a crazy stalker,
43:29
but. Why are you just assuming she
43:32
wants to be in a long term Poly relationship exclusively with
43:36
you guys? How are you going to make that
43:39
work when you don't even know what a favorite colour is?
43:41
You don't even know how old she is.
43:43
I don't even know how old she is.
43:44
They. Don't know shit about her except
43:46
for that, she says. Yes, Sir.
43:48
And yes, Daddy. And she's been fucking.
43:52
I don't even. I don't even know where she.
43:53
Works. I think she works in media, but
43:55
the only reason why they like her is because she's a pick me.
43:58
Yeah, but you know who's more of a pick?
44:01
Me, Leo. He's the worst character I've
44:05
ever. Read He is a piece of shit.
44:07
He's just like piece of shit. And he's just dumb.
44:10
Jace is just as much as a piece of shit, yeah.
44:14
How do you convince each other that it's only worth getting
44:16
together because you've got a girl involved?
44:18
That's what I mean. It's like what it?
44:20
Feels like they're slightly homophobic and that they can't.
44:23
Cope with each other, yeah. Being together because it might
44:26
be too gay. I know, but they've been
44:28
together for so long and they've come to terms with their
44:30
sexuality supposedly. You have not come to terms.
44:35
OK, what was so fucked was the sister.
44:39
I forget her name. Stevie.
44:40
Stevie, They're having lunch and then she just fucking turns dead
44:44
ass to Ryland goes, oh, it's because you love both of them.
44:50
It's the anal to love Pipeline coming in clutch.
44:54
Coming in hot, coming in 180 pages, barely.
44:58
Understand. But why would the sister say
45:01
that she just got double Dick? They could be fucking psychos.
45:07
And she's just all good with it. She's just like, yeah, you're.
45:10
Just get it. This is the best you've ever
45:13
had. If this was our conversation in
45:15
the sports bar after one of us got fucking tag team, we'd be
45:18
like, are you OK? I feel like.
45:20
You would slap me if I said you're in love?
45:23
You'd be like, bitch, I'm going to punch the shit out of you.
45:27
I'd be like big. You'll be like, on our way to
45:29
fucking therapy. Actual though?
45:33
Dead ass. If you said something like that
45:36
to me, I'd be like, are we on the same planet?
45:39
You'll probably be like, let's go to get STISTD tested, yeah.
45:45
Damn pregnancy test. Throw it all.
45:47
In, throw it in. Everything.
45:49
You're peeing in a cup, that's for sure.
45:51
And then so these guys track down where she is.
45:54
Fuck knows how. To be fair, Leo does say the dad
45:57
gave away her information to click.
45:59
Yeah. That's gross.
46:01
I'm just. She made it.
46:03
Just wanted to fuck. What if you do not?
46:05
Know anyone? Don't give out the fucking
46:08
information They can find them on Facebook like a normal
46:11
person. It's not that fucking.
46:13
Life. Some parents would do that,
46:14
though. They rock up at the pub.
46:16
It's so awkward. Everyone's looking at them
46:18
because he thinks. Everyone thinks it's Lucas.
46:21
Surely they're not that identical?
46:23
Only their mom can tell them apart and everyone's like, Oh my
46:26
God, he's in this little town. Get her.
46:29
Tattoo and get something I don't know.
46:30
She's going to get just as much attention.
46:33
They just want her to move to pretty much immediately relocate
46:36
her entire life to be in a throttle with them.
46:40
She's just a pet, she is. They're just adopting her into
46:43
their home. They're like was so they were
46:45
just so sad for what? I don't understand.
46:48
And you know what? The conversation lasts 5 minutes
46:51
and then then you know she's getting fucked.
46:55
Jace is putting fucking Lube on Leo's ass and then all fucking
46:59
fucking together. I know where was the chemistry,
47:01
where was there was? Nothing.
47:04
There was no dialogue besides the weird shit that Leo was
47:07
saying. That she just went along with
47:09
everything sexual. That's the only thing that they
47:12
could have liked about her. So of course, moving right
47:16
ahead, getting to the bottom of it, they get trouble married at
47:21
the end. Stop it.
47:24
Who wanted this ending? Who wanted it?
47:27
Who asked for this? The bonus chapter.
47:31
It's just the shit. It's just them fucking at the
47:35
New Year's party. What I don't understand So it's
47:37
a year later, everyone has accepted that they're a
47:40
throuple. Yeah, they're fine.
47:42
They're. Out to the public, so even the
47:46
real Lucas is OK with what they're doing in their throuple.
47:51
Her dad took a while to come around to it.
47:53
Then he's like, that's fine, I just.
47:55
Don't know how they're mixing Lucas and Leo up, because if
47:59
ones in Seattle, yeah, and ones in New York, yeah, they're not
48:02
the same fucking person, are they?
48:04
And one is training and playing all the time.
48:07
So wouldn't he be more buff? Yeah.
48:09
And then one's the agent. Like, I mean, I doubt he's
48:11
hitting the gym as much in peak physical form, but anyway, but
48:14
also, a year later, it's almost like they're still trying to
48:17
prove that they're going at it hot and heavy.
48:19
Because this is just like oh ha ha like.
48:22
You guys are going to be fucking.
48:23
It's like EW, just pick up. Some class.
48:26
Some class? And also wouldn't the
48:27
anniversary be like the fucking day?
48:30
Asked Grizzly. Yeah, yuck.
48:33
The anniversary's Christmas Eve. It's a family holiday.
48:38
My most favorite thing that you've ever said is have some
48:40
class. I forget which book it started,
48:44
but it's like my most favorite thing you've ever said.
48:47
Also, we need to put on a T-shirt or bumper sticker or
48:51
something. You can't tell me or you're
48:55
telling me because you say it all the.
48:58
Time and it's my favorite. And imagine.
49:02
I feel like I say imagine more, but you you always say you're
49:06
telling me and now I do it all the time.
49:09
So good did you? When I used to go I haven't done
49:13
it this so. Yeah, I started doing that in
49:15
real life so much, and I didn't know where it come from.
49:19
Even more sad than the epilogue, right?
49:21
So did you read the bit at the very end where the author was
49:24
saying their dedications and that?
49:25
Nah, I never read a dedication. It's full of shit.
49:29
Well, sadly this was dedicated to the author's friend that
49:33
passed away, Sally and she goes, I know you'd love this smutty
49:37
disgustingness you heard. I'm like Sally.
49:41
If I die and you write a smutty book, I need to be on the front
49:46
page. This is dedicated to Kala's
49:48
smart ass and you'd better not have a fake dating or gala in
49:52
there or else I'll come back from the dead and all Joanne to
49:56
be honest. If I'm dedicating any book to
49:58
you, it's going to be fake dating gala.
50:02
Extravaganza, Extravaganza. Dude, I will come back to Earth.
50:07
It's going to have all the things that you hate the most in
50:10
it. Oh my God.
50:11
And then you'll be like, I know you would love this book.
50:15
Stop it. And then everyone else will be
50:17
like she fucking hates it and. You know what?
50:21
I'll put in mine? Lots of cum.
50:25
There's loads of cum. In interview style format.
50:31
He's too cute. Or a very sad, illiterate child.
50:36
You're just a depressing plot. There's a sad, illiterate child.
50:41
There's also come which hopefully in a different context
50:44
there's just. Come in a cup, come on the wall,
50:46
come on the tits. There's brothers Dick rubbing in
50:51
the womb. There's.
50:52
Grooming. I'm not.
50:55
I can't. Oh no.
50:58
Poor Sally. Sally.
51:00
Sally. I thought, you're going to be,
51:02
like, dedicated to my daughter. Rest in peace, Sally Sally's
51:07
living cell dog. I want to know what Sally's.
51:11
Do what she's into, yeah, Fucking Joseph, dude.
51:15
People were recommending this on TikTok because it had good
51:18
representation of sexualities and body types.
51:21
So it wasn't body shaming because she's a plump gully.
51:24
It has. Good repping.
51:26
Wow. Good reps.
51:29
Good reps words are not working, mouth failing, coochie not
51:36
throbbing. Yeah, we always need a coochie
51:39
check in. It's good Polynesian Hawaiian
51:44
food Rep. There was constantly Hawaiian
51:48
Polynesian food. Drizzled one person of color,
51:53
One plump queen. Polyamory pansexuality.
51:58
Of course there's a white muscly man.
52:02
I can't say white straight man, because he's.
52:04
Not he's not straight. He's Brian Gibbs.
52:06
White, straight men. So what do we?
52:07
Reckon what? Are we going to write this out
52:09
of? Too many crickets?
52:12
Too many? Crickets.
52:15
Oh dear Lord, look, it is what it is.
52:19
And because it is what it is, it just is what it is.
52:23
I don't know. Like it's just what?
52:24
Is what it. Is it does?
52:26
What it needs to do it does it. Does what it needs to do.
52:30
It is what it needs to do. It does.
52:32
What it doesn't? It doesn't.
52:33
It doesn't do what it should do, but it should do what it
52:36
doesn't. I I don't even know.
52:39
I gave it a two out of five Jiminy Crickets and I think that
52:42
was all right. That's.
52:43
OK. Entertainment value was there.
52:46
The fact that it was short, I will forgive it for its various.
52:49
Sins. It's a one out of Jiminies for
52:52
me. And it's because every time Leo
52:56
spoke, yeah, I died. Yes, I love how we never have
53:00
anything that pretty much cracks a three.
53:02
We hate all books. We hate books.
53:07
I don't know what people are doing out there, right?
53:09
But none of this gave me any tingles like guys, what are you
53:13
doing? There's never a time where it's
53:16
five out of five spice. There's always a red flag.
53:20
It's always weird. Well, this is definitely spicy,
53:23
but it's kind of not making. It's not turning me on.
53:26
Like, am I just boring? Am I just straight?
53:29
It was just. Too long.
53:30
I can do a three page sex extravaganza, yes, but this
53:35
one's like 180 straight pages of.
53:38
Porn. It was straight porn at this
53:41
point. You know, that was it, Quinn,
53:45
That the erotic sex is audio porn.
53:48
Anywho, Oh yeah, yeah, they do book readings.
53:51
They should read the shit out of this.
53:54
They probably would. But it would Take Me Out hearing
53:57
too many crickets. I.
53:58
Just don't know because we're back to it is what it is.
54:02
Because it was what it was. Look, if you want to Jingle your
54:06
pels this Christmas and you're into this shit, then maybe it's
54:11
worth a read. I don't.
54:12
Know if you just want to read. Pure.
54:14
Sex only and you don't want any plot?
54:17
Yeah, that's fine. It's this is the one.
54:20
For you, it's giving. I feel like it's giving what it
54:22
needed to give. If you need to read your heart
54:25
content, yeah about butt plugs. This is the guide and show how
54:30
to stimulate it. And how to be unhygienic?
54:33
Imagine how much that bathroom smelled like booty, with all
54:37
that steam in the air and just the lack of pussy washing.
54:40
Just wash that couch. It's just right there.
54:44
This. Book has weeping pussies.
54:46
Dirty Dick. Weeping dip.
54:48
Dirty crack. Dirty crack.
54:50
Use butt plugs. No condoms, just switches
54:54
everywhere. Yeah, I feel.
54:55
Bad for whoever cleans this penthouse, because it surely is
54:58
they. Should get a raise.
55:00
Do you reckon they just left the cum on the floor while she had a
55:03
mental breakdown and just peeling away?
55:08
I can't imagine it any other way.
55:10
It's cannon. It's Cannon, OK?
55:14
We got to check out of this shit hole.
55:17
We got to get out of this bitch. I.
55:19
Need a nap? I need to go to church.
55:24
I need to go sit on the beach. I know.
55:27
I need to think about non weeping bits.
55:31
Well, whatever you guys are doing for Christmas, we hope
55:35
that it's better than. We hope it's not weeping.
55:39
We wish you were non weeping Christmas.
55:42
All right, let's get out of here.
55:44
I want to get out of this universe so bad.
55:47
Thank God there's another one because IA 100% I thought the
55:50
plot would drag us back in. No, no, no.
55:53
That's it. Thanks for joining us on Lose
55:55
the Plot with Carla and Emily. Don't forget to rate US five
55:58
stars and subscribe. If you enjoyed Slide into our
56:01
DMS on TikTok or Instagram Lose The Plot podcast.