Latest / SHULCHAN ARUCH YOMI: Own the Halacha in 25 minutes a day! / Yoreh De’ah 240:5-9. Honoring Parents: (Nazir Nowadays); Cannot Cause Pain, Who Pays, Financial Loss, Deceased, Z”l, Kaparas Mishkavo

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Yoreh De’ah 240:5-9. Honoring Parents: (Nazir Nowadays); Cannot Cause Pain, Who Pays, Financial Loss, Deceased, Z”l, Kaparas Mishkavo · SHULCHAN ARUCH YOMI: Own the Halacha in 25 minutes a day!

• 0:00
  We are continuing today Helkos keyboard of AIM Reshmaam.
• 0:05
  We're about to say if Hey, I just want to mention one quick
• 0:08
  thing. A couple days ago we learned
• 0:11
  about Naziris and I I think I forgot to get back to us that
• 0:15
  yeah, if someone makes a makes himself a Nazer, bizman Nazer,
• 0:20
  the end of Naziris is by bringing the Korman, right?
• 0:24
  If it's Tom or you give a certain day number, whatever it
• 0:27
  is, but you're it ends only when you bring the carbon.
• 0:31
  So nowadays, if one makes himself a nazar, even if it's he
• 0:34
  gives a time limit, it doesn't matter.
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  He remains A nazar forever until we build the base on Migdash or
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  whatever. We bring the carbon.
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  That's the that's the main point.
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  And he's stuck unless he does Ataris or chalice on the Atara
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  on the whole Naziris. And you can see that on the
• 0:52
  Rhomba Naziris bet cuff. OK, sorry, right back to
• 0:57
  keyboard of AIM. Let's let's read inside here.
• 1:02
  Just a couple things to point out.
• 1:03
  We're going to talk about a few different random things because
• 1:06
  not everything is in the CE, the actual CE for the Sholkhanar,
• 1:11
  but the Henoch has an interesting question.
• 1:14
  The mitzvah of keyboard of aim is that primarily a mitzvah of
• 1:19
  being Adama Cavaro or being Adama Mamako.
• 1:23
  So the kids are most post can say it's really a combination,
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  right. It's the bridge from the two
• 1:31
  from the 2 Lucas and famous question.
• 1:34
  How come we do not say a bracha in Kibo Dave and Mescheriqui di
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  Shanu. So the two main there's
• 1:41
  obviously what to be Mfalpal, but the two main basic reasons
• 1:45
  is because any mitzvah that's talui on somebody else.
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  The general rule is like for that's it general.
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  The general rule is we don't have a bracha for it.
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  And also because the other person might not accept it.
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  You might go to do it to them, but it's it's not totally on
• 2:03
  you. The parents or the rough could
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  be mocha uncovered on certain things not or you might think
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  you're doing something good and you're actually not doing
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  something good. It's just let's less clear.
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  The other one is that it's a constant mitzvah.
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  It's it's a 24/7 mitzvah. There's no, there's no time
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  limit whatsoever. In general, there's no bracha on
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  a mitzvah when it's completely constant.
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  OK, so that's just it's a hush of a mitzvah too.
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  It's constant. OK, hey, let's, let's read this
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  inside. So the obligation is to, we must
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  exert our efforts, our time to help our parents, to feed them,
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  bring them food, drink, whatever they need, the EM in love, the
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  yeish leben. Now what if the father doesn't
• 3:03
  have the means to provide for himself food?
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  Does the son have to pay for it? So the halacha is Kofi notel we
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  the baisden. They forced the the son to pay
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  from his own pocket, even even even physically if if necessary,
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  Vizsan Aviv and he has to support his father Kefi mashuhu
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  Yaho based on how much he's able to now.
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  Well, let's just keep reading the aim Ben in I'm sorry, in
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  Ohio Laksar al abtahim lahil ET Aviv.
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  But he's not obligated. He's not obligated to go door to
• 3:42
  door to collect in order to support the father.
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  Should we read the Rama? Let's read the Rama first.
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  Well, I'll just point out when it comes to Sedaka, I think we
• 3:53
  briefly mentioned it. Sedaka we do say we are.
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  We do obligate one to, to, to, to get Sedaka because all they
• 4:00
  do have that because there has the love, the Pasaka, the love
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  we said by normally like Kiba Dabeim Khazal Baisden.
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  They don't, you know, physically force someone to do Kiba Dabeim
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  because the the reason is given in, in the Torah a long life.
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  So therefore there's no obligation to to, to enforce on
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  the baisden. We mentioned that they can if
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  they want to, but here it's for mitzvah sedaka and sidaka they
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  do for us. That's it.
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  Even though, even though it tells you Hashem will bless you
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  if you give sidaka Haga VH, only the enochi of retain low rock
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  mushroom who have retained its daka.
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  So there are my rights, but you only have to give the amount
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  that you need from Sidaka. You only have to give the amount
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  up to what you need to give for Sidaka, because that's the only
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  portion that they could force you to do.
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  And really, the post can point out, you can scratch the words.
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  Yay Shulman. Because really, the Shulkhanarak
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  would agree, right? Because beyond that, we hold
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  that the child doesn't have to pay or lose money from his own
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  pocket when we call Malcolm in Yado Masagat.
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  If a child can afford it, Daisden doesn't force him to
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  support his parents. But tavo ma era the Misha
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  mafarnas Aviv mima otstaka shaloh.
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  But there is a curse for someone who pays from Sedaka or someone
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  who doesn't help out his parents.
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  The IMA, the imyesha labanim rabim mahashimafim maman shalam.
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  Let's say there's many sons, so each one has to chip in and pay
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  the image. The im one second heavy E mix
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  some ashirim, but if some are wealthy, we'll make satam aniim.
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  And some of them can barely put food on their own table.
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  Mekhayima shirim lavad. So then we only the basins only
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  makhay of the ones who are more wealthy and the other ones are
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  putter. Hello.
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  But you still have to honor him with your with your physical
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  actions. Awful piece.
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  Somitaka batal nimilakhto you have to go over even though you
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  can't work those hours when you go help your parents.
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  So now there's hours where you can't work.
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  So that's you know you lose money by not working and OK, but
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  that's that's our obligation as children to parents.
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  Alpha P show me to talk about tomato vidsare lacsor alabtachim
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  even if it might lead to you. Now you have to ask for Sidaka
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  yourself. However, if the Dafka the the
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  eat le Ben Rizona, then Zuni Hauyama, but that's yeah, today.
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  If you don't have enough food for today to put on the table,
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  then you don't have to lose your time from working to help your
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  parents. If you have enough food today to
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  to feed your family, then you you don't worry about what's
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  going to be for food tomorrow. You have to help out your
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  parents if they need help about lately.
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  But if you don't have even for today, so then you don't take
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  off of work, you'll help them afterwards.
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  OK, well, I had sorry, I'll shun the varba here person needs
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  something done. He needs a favor.
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  He needs something from the city, from other people in the
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  city to help out with the Odea Shash limo.
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  Herzl Bishville Avid If you make an announcement and you send out
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  an e-mail, you put an announcement to WhatsApp and you
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  say, can someone please do this in honor of my father?
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  I need this to be taken care of and honor.
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  You can say your father's name, mother, whatever it is.
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  Alpha Piscio dei shigam Kenya Asul Bishvilo.
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  So they're going to run to do it because you asked for help,
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  whether it's you or your father. So then Loya Omar.
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  So then Loya Omarli Asuli Davar Poloni Bishvili Ali Omar
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  Asubishvil ABBA. So then since you know they're
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  going to do a favor by mentioning your father's name,
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  even if they would do it for you, you should mention your
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  father's name because it'll give honor to your father today.
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  It'll give them a cover. Now, if you know they're not
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  going to do it and the shock points out or if you mention
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  your father's name, so then don't mention your father's name
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  because then it'll turn out to be a good night.
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  Everything, whatever, whatever, you know, however you you act in
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  order that I'll give covered or not covered.
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  That's how OK. One should one should act.
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  Fine. Let's go to Zine.
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  I'm sorry, Aviv. So we know a son has to stand up
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  a fully erect, he stands up all the way for his father or his
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  mother until as long as he can see them that they're that
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  they're walking until they stop or sit.
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  So then, but what happens if the father, the son is a Talmud
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  Hakamani teaches his father. So then the father should also
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  have to stand for his son. So they both stand for each
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  other no problem. However, interesting enough, the
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  Taz quotes that the Mahara Miraat, well, actually we're
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  going to read it inside here. Let's let's read Haga the IMA
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  bin Rd. sale in Mchal al Kovodo. The Shamesh Aviv Harris should
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  be other. And if the the son wants in
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  mokal on his cover to be in the Talmud Hakam, so then he's
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  allowed to to serve his father Dahara Shah Mahal Khoda Mahal of
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  Talmud Hakam is allowed to be Rebbi is allowed to be mokal on
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  his cover with dafka Bitsina. Or what's the first of all you
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  say? But that's certainly true if
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  it's in private or a few the fahesia, the Dash biero shako
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  Yodim Shahu Aviv or also in public.
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  As long as people know that you're related, you're the
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  father and that's why you are you're you're serving him.
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  So that's not a problem of all IEM have been Gadol Bittora.
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  But if he's a great tourist scholar, the Ayn Aviv Dash Biero
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  and the father doesn't live there and no one knows who is
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  who it is, Eco lamecha should be zaya natara, might look like a
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  be zaya natara. So again, it depends what the
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  situation is. IMEI the bazaar Ben lefeni AB
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  yeh shlahan lahar Ki zemisa and if it's going to turn into a
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  boucha and a bezayan. If they see them together acting
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  however they are, they should distance themselves and not live
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  in the same place or not see each other together.
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  Shiloh Yaquel Shum Ekhavodo Liefenne Cavaro.
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  So there shouldn't be a lack of cover from one to another.
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  Bahrain ASA Maharami Rotenberg IM Aviv.
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  And so the Maharam Rotenberg once he became I don't know, he
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  became a when he reached his Gadula that has points out I'm
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  not sure exactly historically at what point then he no longer saw
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  his father anymore. And because it would be he was
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  afraid and might make a Zozo to eat either one of them and score
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  the red buzz didn't understand, but OK, I don't know, I'll call
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  a few and young, but that's what he felt cut a haikon keyboard of
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  aim. How far do we take it?
• 11:47
  A few not Loquista shows the who've been show of the fun of
• 11:51
  Liam Loya, Kleeman Villa Itzar Biffeneyam.
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  So how far do we take it? Even if the parent comes to you
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  and they take your purse or wallet of of gold and they throw
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  it in into the ocean, you lose your money.
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  They embarrass you in public, they cause you great shame you.
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  You should still not get angry at them.
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  Elia Kabul zeros Akasu V ishtop. You should just accept what a
• 12:22
  Karish barko taught us. We have to do keep it out of the
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  aim and fear our parents and honor them and therefore just be
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  quiet and accept it as that's what Hashem wants.
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  And agave yeesh Omri the Imrotselli's rocka mocha Ben
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  Liam the Yahoo lemono. So the remark has an opinion
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  here, he says. So the first opinion is you
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  don't stop them if they're going to throw your money into the
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  ocean, you just you, you let them do it.
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  I mean, obviously you can, you can hide your money.
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  You don't give it to them to throw away, but you don't make a
• 13:02
  scene to stop them, OK. Because at the end of the day,
• 13:08
  they're going to have, if you want to take them to Basin,
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  which is a whole other story. If you want to take them to
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  Basin, they're going to have to pay you back for it.
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  But the Yeh Shomrim holds the Imroz Elizrak.
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  But if they're about to throw it away and you could stop them,
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  the hyena Khayevach Abdulrak Michel AF because Allah is we
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  only, you only have to honor your parents if it's with their
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  money. You don't have to lose money out
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  of it. So here it's a tirucha to go to
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  Baesden and to deal with the whole story.
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  So therefore their Mahal's not you can actually stop them if
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  possible. Well, Michelle, OK, because it's
• 13:45
  rat Michelle Abalo Michelle Ben. That's what you said.
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  The a Helicoben doesn't matter Ben Ben Habdo or Litzaro.
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  It makes no difference whether it's a keyboard or pitzar.
• 13:56
  Same, same Alaka the Baragola quotes from the Bicios that also
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  that No, it's it's only the Habdo of all its sorrow, Yesh al
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  abid Koh maman shiba olam. So that is because if you're
• 14:13
  going to cause them sorrow by preventing them to throw away
• 14:16
  the money, then that is actually a a problem.
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  OK, that's two opinions. Vedafka kodemshizarkhan.
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  And that's before you throw it the Afshar de Mamanea, because
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  then you can prevent it below avid and then so it won't
• 14:31
  happen. You won't lose the money.
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  I'll include Kavar Zarku. But once it's already thrown,
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  then there's no no, there's no more focus anymore.
• 14:39
  And once it's already thrown us, then you can certainly not
• 14:45
  'cause them any itzar. You can't embarrass them and
• 14:47
  yell at them for throwing away your money about you call a
• 14:50
  toboledina, but you are able to take them to Basden Vedafka IME
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  Rosa lizra kisa Liam need bashi saron kis.
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  Now that's only a case when we're talking about is going to
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  this issue is went to Basden and stopping them because you're
• 15:05
  going to they're losing the money that you already have in
• 15:07
  your pocket of all in Rotsella Avirimenu revach the Alma.
• 15:12
  But if they just want to the parents are preventing you from
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  making profit or from going to work.
• 15:18
  So then so then that's Usser Behold Enyan, then it's
• 15:21
  certainly usser to cause any SAR to 1's parents to violate Kiboda
• 15:27
  Veim Ben Benchieslodinium Aviva Aviva avu Tovea.
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  Now if the father is Tovea, the son aben Sarikhaben, Tove aben
• 15:41
  Sarikhaben Leila Akhar Aviv, so now the son has to go there.
• 15:47
  Really the the father should have to go to the son.
• 15:49
  But here we say in the son because the Kibod Avaim has to
• 15:52
  go to him. Alpha Pisha, aben Juanita, even
• 15:54
  though the son is 1, who's been Nitba?
• 15:57
  He's been, he's a defendant. Vidarb Irakar lives in a
• 16:01
  different city, Chazelle Kabod Aviv.
• 16:04
  That's part of Kibod Aviv. But the father has to pay.
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  But the father has to pay for the son the travel expense.
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  The ain't no you have to give him honor.
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  But it's only me, but not Michelle Ben.
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  But you don't have to. The son doesn't have to lose
• 16:25
  money by giving him, giving him honor.
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  Let's do. Let's do Ted.
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  Yeah, Ted Khayev, Lachabdo Afilo Akarmoto.
• 16:37
  A person has to honor his parents, right?
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  Even after he passes away, not only when he's alive, but even
• 16:44
  after he passes away. So some of the more common ways
• 16:48
  that we're more familiar of is we know there's there's the
• 16:52
  Alderman hug him of Evalus and yurt sites and anything we do
• 16:56
  like Eli Nishmas and learning and mitzvos and Kagi shirts,
• 16:59
  fila, all these different things.
• 17:01
  We're also going to mention about naming the naming one's
• 17:05
  child or a sandak means Sandak's.
• 17:08
  He's still alive, obviously, but we'll mention that in a moment.
• 17:13
  OK, let's read inside. What is the Shokanarek's way of
• 17:17
  example of giving cover to a parent?
• 17:20
  Keitzad Haya Omar Davar Shimwami Peev.
• 17:24
  Whenever a person, a child mentions one of his parents.
• 17:30
  Yeah. Well, whenever he's going to
• 17:31
  mention whatever halacha or anything from his, any story,
• 17:35
  anything about it, he's going to mention his parents.
• 17:37
  And you just say his the name with, you know, with the
• 17:41
  father's name. Or you just say the words my
• 17:43
  father, my dad, whatever it is, my mother.
• 17:46
  So then, so then you should say it like this, Kakamar Abamari,
• 17:50
  Hareni Kaparas Mishkovo, This is what my father said, my father,
• 17:55
  my master. I mean, we don't always speak
• 17:57
  like the words the master, but Alba, whatever it is, you always
• 18:01
  you add the words Hareni Kaparas Mishkovo.
• 18:04
  When you mention your father's name or your mother's name,
• 18:06
  Hareni Kaparas Mishkovo, what does that mean?
• 18:09
  Sarashi explains. It means that the onish that
• 18:13
  should come to my father or my whatever the parent need their
• 18:17
  parent, any onus that goes to them should come upon me.
• 18:20
  Basically, there's three different Perushima.
• 18:23
  If you look up what it might mean, two of them is basically
• 18:26
  it's fila. You're asking kilo Karishvaraku
• 18:30
  that to give them a capara and you'll take the onus or some say
• 18:35
  it means by do it, give them a capara by you doing mitzvos and
• 18:39
  their honor. And or some say it's just words
• 18:43
  of it's not a real fila like some say, it's really just words
• 18:48
  of Kava. You're saying take away their
• 18:52
  give them a kapara and I'll take it.
• 18:56
  Doesn't necessarily mean your Mama Shaquila Davanin for it
• 18:59
  anyways, but that's the that's the idea.
• 19:01
  And these are words of giving Kava because the general rule is
• 19:05
  whenever we mention a parent's name, we always have to say
• 19:09
  something either during in the first year that we finished
• 19:12
  reading here, I'll keep reading Imhuto shne masar Kodesh for the
• 19:16
  1st 12 months that they passed away.
• 19:19
  Now this starts immediately upon when they pass away.
• 19:23
  So even even before availis begins, even if they're not
• 19:26
  buried immediately when you mention them, you should start
• 19:29
  saying Hareni Kaparas Mishkabo in Mutaq Shenimasar kodesh for
• 19:33
  the 1st 12 months and even Shenimasar Kodesh Omer zehron
• 19:38
  Ali raha. So then once that's once that's
• 19:41
  that's enough. That's the short version.
• 19:44
  You can add Sadiq perhaps or the taz says it's really based on
• 19:50
  the Gomara. It's really I'm getting you can
• 19:52
  just say zehron Ali raha, but it's really Zehron Ali raha,
• 19:56
  lehayeh olam haba. And that's the sometimes, if
• 19:59
  you've ever seen that, appreciate.
• 20:02
  Abbreviation after Sarajevos, after someone's name when they
• 20:06
  pass away. Zayn Lahmid.
• 20:08
  Lahmid. Hey, hey.
• 20:09
  So if you're wondering what that is, that's Zeroni Lubraha.
• 20:15
  OK, so anyways, that's so this is for the so the one should
• 20:20
  always say something. It's either Zalzhorni Lubraha
• 20:24
  really, or Harinika Paris Miskava.
• 20:26
  OK. And the shock says you can say
• 20:30
  it, you can say zal ziconia de raka.
• 20:33
  Really you could you're allowed to say it the first year, but
• 20:37
  it's more appropriate to say Iranian with caparas Mishkabo.
• 20:41
  The Taz says, no, it's really you can't say Zicrona de Raka
• 20:47
  for the first year because it's more of a, it's more of a
• 20:53
  statement that he was, that he was already Zohe for Olam Haba.
• 20:58
  And he says for that first year, you might not be in Olam Haba
• 21:02
  yet, you might be in Ghana. So it might be Shaka.
• 21:04
  So he says it's inappropriate to say it for the first year.
• 21:07
  The Taza is an interesting question.
• 21:09
  What about the 12th month? We know the meaning of
• 21:12
  Ashkenazim is they don't say Kadesh for the 12th month.
• 21:15
  Why? Because we don't want to make it
• 21:17
  look like he's he's, he's spent the full year in Ghanem and then
• 21:21
  hopefully he got out early. So we we don't, we don't
• 21:24
  complete it. So how do you say our name is
• 21:26
  Caparas Miscavo? The entire year he says
• 21:28
  basically you have no choice because you have to say
• 21:32
  something or it'll be a pegam that's inappropriate and you
• 21:35
  can't for him, it's Chequer to say Zicon de Lavaca on the first
• 21:38
  year because he really might be in Ghana.
• 21:40
  So that's how he understands it. So he says you kind of have no
• 21:44
  choice. Also, it's not so people might
• 21:47
  also realize. So you can't say nothing because
• 21:50
  then people won't say, oh, you're Mazzazza.
• 21:51
  They won't even realize it's they might not realize you're in
• 21:54
  the 12th month, whatever. That's that's what he writes by
• 21:58
  interesting. It's not really here, but by
• 22:01
  Spartan. They do say cottage for 12
• 22:02
  months. They just stop for one week the
• 22:05
  in the beginning of the 12 months.
• 22:07
  So it's it's a it's Akasha for the Taz.
• 22:09
  It's not Akasha on the I mean, the taz makes it a asks the
• 22:13
  question. It's a good question, but it's
• 22:15
  not really shy after the words of the the Shalkanar for the
• 22:18
  minutes for them. Let's see something on a Iranian
• 22:24
  Kaparas Mishkavo. That's interesting.
• 22:27
  What happens. Yeah, let me just read the Ramam
• 22:30
  Hagar, the aim or aim of, because that's the same Alaka we
• 22:36
  said Yesh Omrim, the in Kotep talks names are Kodish, Navarro,
• 22:40
  Muscular Vive in Sariko, Virenika, Paras Mishkova.
• 22:43
  What if you're writing something about your father?
• 22:45
  Do you have to write it in? So some say you don't need to
• 22:51
  just write because it's going to last much more than 12 months.
• 22:59
  It's being written down, it's permanent.
• 23:00
  So when the next guy is going to read it, eventually it'll become
• 23:04
  afterwards and it's going to like expire a little bit.
• 23:06
  So it's better to say Raha Vyesh Mahmiran and Sen say no, I feel
• 23:13
  a bit Siva. Even if you write it down, you
• 23:16
  should write Hareni Kaparas Mishkovo vahen no, again, and
• 23:21
  that's the Mennon Meni Just write also an abbreviation.
• 23:25
  Hey, Kaufman, that's also appropriate.
• 23:28
  But the but the minute is to to do it, at least if you remember
• 23:32
  as far as a recording, this might be heard next year, so I
• 23:36
  don't know.