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Spit on it, swear at it · F*ck Off Fridays

0:00
SPEAKER_03: Welcome back to Fuck Off Fridays with your girl Liv and your girl Charlie.
0:06
SPEAKER_03: Coming up this week, we talk.
0:08
SPEAKER_03: Would you like to be a stripper?
0:10
SPEAKER_03: We talk Bradley Cooper and different types of cheese.
0:13
SPEAKER_03: And I ask Charlie if she knows where a cock ring originated from.
0:17
SPEAKER_03: So strap in, sit yourselves down, grab yourself a beverage, and off we go.
0:28
SPEAKER_02: What are you loving this week?
0:30
SPEAKER_02: So I was at work a couple of weeks ago, popped my head into the boardroom, and my managing director said, So, let's quit chlamydia.
0:39
SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
0:41
SPEAKER_02: The man's been listening.
0:42
SPEAKER_02: Do you know where my brain went?
0:44
SPEAKER_03: Where?
0:45
SPEAKER_03: Popped your head into the boardroom, managed director, someone's getting a blowy or something.
0:49
SPEAKER_02: Oh god, no.
0:53
SPEAKER_02: No, we do not support that.
0:55
SPEAKER_02: But um the other people in the boardroom looked very confused.
0:59
SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
1:00
SPEAKER_02: Because there were other people in there.
1:01
SPEAKER_02: Because they weren't listeners, and I just had to go, it's just my podcast.
1:05
SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
1:06
SPEAKER_02: But shout out, we've got another male listener.
1:08
SPEAKER_02: Go on.
1:08
SPEAKER_02: Okay, what did you think?
1:09
SPEAKER_02: What do you think?
1:10
SPEAKER_02: He's enjoying it, yeah.
1:11
SPEAKER_02: I honestly didn't think he would listen, but I'm here.
1:13
SPEAKER_03: I think people get curious.
1:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:15
SPEAKER_03: And they want to know because they'll see a different side of you outside of the work environment.
1:20
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
1:21
SPEAKER_02: I think I'm unhinged at all times.
1:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fair professional to make my clients, though.
1:24
SPEAKER_02: That's a good point.
1:25
SPEAKER_02: But yeah.
1:26
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I went and had my second micro-needling appointment this week, which I will say I wasn't necessarily loving because it hurts so fucking much, even with the numbing cream.
1:39
SPEAKER_02: Um, such a pussy, I can't get over this.
1:42
SPEAKER_02: Why don't you do it with no cream?
1:44
SPEAKER_03: Honestly, I mean there are times, let's just say, around a certain time of the month, where if I go and have it done with leave.
1:51
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I was on my period when I had it done.
1:52
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: It's probably even more sensitive, and I'm a sensitive skincare than anyone.
1:55
SPEAKER_03: I've been known to go, motherfucker, but I don't have cream and I do grin and bear it.
2:00
SPEAKER_02: You're mental.
2:00
SPEAKER_03: I know.
2:01
SPEAKER_03: You are mental.
2:02
SPEAKER_02: Um, but Poppy and I, of post skincare, go on, Poppy, were having a good laugh because I was sat there and I was like, I will look like Chris Jenner, I will look like Chris Jenner in the best way.
2:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:13
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I told her that something I do, and I think she should do this with all of her clients.
2:17
SPEAKER_02: So when I give blood, I don't know, I've told her this guy.
2:20
SPEAKER_02: When I give blood, I because I don't like needles, I look away, but in my head, when they're putting the needle in, I try and name as many different types of cheese as possible to give myself a distraction.
2:31
SPEAKER_02: This is where that's come from.
2:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:33
SPEAKER_02: So whilst she was microneedling my face, I was like, Poppy, we're gonna play a game.
2:39
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna take it in turns to name different types of cheeses.
2:43
SPEAKER_03: Right.
2:44
SPEAKER_03: Can I just say for the record, the other week when someone asked about the foot fetish thing being a preferred foot right or left, everyone accused me of being the most autistic person that they'd ever met, basically, and that was the most autistic thing I've ever said.
2:57
SPEAKER_03: You naming types of cheese, do you like cheese?
3:00
SPEAKER_03: I think is more autistic.
3:01
SPEAKER_02: Well, let's have a cheese off.
3:03
SPEAKER_02: How good is your cheese off?
3:04
SPEAKER_02: Right now.
3:05
SPEAKER_02: Right now, yeah.
3:06
SPEAKER_02: So it's a bit like the game they play on Radio One.
3:08
SPEAKER_02: You can't have any repeats.
3:09
SPEAKER_02: If you have a repeat, you're out.
3:10
SPEAKER_02: Alright, fine.
3:11
SPEAKER_02: Let's see how long you can go for.
3:12
SPEAKER_02: Alright.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: Would you like to kick off?
3:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
3:14
SPEAKER_02: Cool then.
3:16
SPEAKER_02: Bree.
3:17
SPEAKER_02: Cheddar.
3:19
SPEAKER_03: Basic.
3:20
SPEAKER_03: Hilton.
3:21
SPEAKER_02: Stinking bishop.
3:26
SPEAKER_03: Delease.
3:27
SPEAKER_03: Delease.
3:28
SPEAKER_03: It's a soft cheese.
3:29
SPEAKER_03: Lucy and jam are listening they'll know what I'm talking about.
3:31
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
3:31
SPEAKER_02: Why would I like you to get me some better?
3:36
SPEAKER_03: Mozzarana.
3:37
SPEAKER_03: Nice.
3:40
SPEAKER_03: Ricotta.
3:43
SPEAKER_03: Cottage cheese.
3:44
SPEAKER_02: Oh, nice! Parmesan.
3:49
SPEAKER_03: It's hard, isn't it?
3:51
SPEAKER_03: It is hard.
3:51
SPEAKER_03: E Dam.
3:54
SPEAKER_02: No!
3:56
SPEAKER_03: Double Glosseter.
3:57
SPEAKER_03: Wednesday down.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: Hammer bear.
4:10
SPEAKER_02: Could be people shouting at their car radios right now.
4:14
SPEAKER_03: Cheese right now.
4:16
SPEAKER_02: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
4:18
SPEAKER_02: I think I'm gonna press you for an answer.
4:20
SPEAKER_02: Red Lester.
4:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh, nicely done.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: Babybell.
4:24
SPEAKER_02: Babybell is E Dam.
4:26
SPEAKER_02: Is it?
4:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:27
SPEAKER_02: Baby bell do lots of different types of cheese right now.
4:30
SPEAKER_02: They have a load.
4:31
SPEAKER_02: I can't have that.
4:32
SPEAKER_02: Okay, Austrian smoked then.
4:34
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's nice.
4:35
SPEAKER_02: You get them in the little sausage-shaped packets.
4:36
SPEAKER_02: Applewood.
4:38
SPEAKER_02: Oh, your cheese knowledge is good.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: Goat's cheese.
4:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I've met my match Rachel Green.
4:49
SPEAKER_02: This might be a repeat.
4:50
SPEAKER_02: Brie.
4:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:52
SPEAKER_02: Oh no! Olivia takes the title of best.
4:55
SPEAKER_03: You could have had truffle brie.
4:56
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I do like it.
4:58
SPEAKER_02: I enjoy a truffle brie.
4:59
SPEAKER_02: Have you been into the fridge at um the cheese fridge at Dalesford?
5:02
SPEAKER_03: Obviously.
5:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
5:03
SPEAKER_02: So you'd like to.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: Who hasn't?
5:04
SPEAKER_02: Next time I go in, I'm gonna SWAT up.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:07
SPEAKER_02: And um I'm gonna have another cheese off with you.
5:09
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, there's a good coping mechanism.
5:11
SPEAKER_02: If anyone's ever anyone's ever in pain, I recommend you try and name as many different cheeses as possible.
5:16
SPEAKER_02: But what I suggested to Poppy is you could even do, you could have a different topic with each person that came in, or you know, if next time I'm giving blood, you could do different animals.
5:24
SPEAKER_03: I'd find things that I'd find more entertaining, I think.
5:27
SPEAKER_03: You could do different animals.
5:29
SPEAKER_03: I probably do surgical procedures or non-surgical procedures, just because I would like to challenge myself.
5:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
5:35
SPEAKER_03: Aneasotist names, you know, keep that brain tick tocking.
5:39
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
5:39
SPEAKER_02: Um so yeah, so loving the cheese quiz with Poppy, not loving the pain of microneedling, but I will say it's all part of the skin journey.
5:49
SPEAKER_02: I'm excited to see the results.
5:51
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, no, it's it's worth it.
5:53
SPEAKER_02: It is worth it.
5:54
SPEAKER_02: No pain, no gain.
5:55
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
5:55
SPEAKER_02: What are you loving this week?
5:57
SPEAKER_03: So over the weekend, we had Jam's 60th birthday.
6:04
SPEAKER_03: Go on the boys.
6:06
SPEAKER_03: My friend Lucy's partner for life.
6:09
SPEAKER_03: Um, and we basically had stiffies for this since a stiffy is a formal invite, by the way, for anyone that doesn't know.
6:16
SPEAKER_03: Okay, but we have had big stiffies in the other way as well for this since February, maybe March.
6:23
SPEAKER_03: And it has literally been the event of the year.
6:27
SPEAKER_03: I pushed it way too far.
6:30
SPEAKER_03: No, naturally.
6:32
SPEAKER_03: Um listening is shooketh.
6:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I I think I was on Rose all night, and then second start, but Rose is not my friend, as you well know.
6:43
SPEAKER_03: Um, I fell over, smacked my knee.
6:46
SPEAKER_03: Uh that's actually my fuck off of the week.
6:49
SPEAKER_03: Um, because I fell up some steps running, I think.
6:53
SPEAKER_03: Um, and basically I'm going to blame Isabel for this because whenever I'm with Isabel and I know I don't have to drive home, so like Uber home or whatever, she is like kryptonite to me, and she brings out the side of me that I try and bury real deep.
7:08
SPEAKER_03: So I'm a complete cunt.
7:10
SPEAKER_03: And yeah, I was a bit of a menace.
7:12
SPEAKER_02: Unleashes the kraken.
7:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
7:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
7:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
7:15
SPEAKER_03: Um, I don't think I did anything too hideous, but we did come away with temporary tattoos all over us.
7:21
SPEAKER_03: I had two on my ass, one on each cheek.
7:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, um, and I do think I showed everyone my nipple piercing.
7:27
SPEAKER_03: Okay, yeah.
7:29
SPEAKER_03: So, eclectic range of events.
7:31
SPEAKER_03: Jam had a great birthday.
7:34
SPEAKER_03: Lucy did a great speech, and then on the Sunday, we all went back for round two.
7:38
unknown: Oh, God.
7:39
SPEAKER_03: So we're back at theirs for midday, bloody Mary's.
7:41
SPEAKER_03: Here we go.
7:42
SPEAKER_03: We went through 42 bottles of wine.
7:45
SPEAKER_02: Good how many how how many are you?
7:48
SPEAKER_03: I think max there was about 20 of us, but then it sort of dissipated.
7:53
SPEAKER_03: We had cheese and like two bottles per person on average, just over.
7:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, essentially.
7:58
SPEAKER_03: And that's like people were having beers as well and gin and things like that.
8:03
SPEAKER_03: I ended the night on a mug of port heaven in their swimming pool.
8:09
SPEAKER_03: You are so I had the ultimate beer fear.
8:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I bet I can imagine that anxiety was high.
8:17
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
8:17
SPEAKER_02: High.
8:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
8:19
SPEAKER_03: Um, but no, we all had a fucking great time.
8:23
SPEAKER_03: Everyone was basically bedridden, and I can't remember the last time my phone was that quiet because people are just like, we're all fucked.
8:32
SPEAKER_03: I'm not well.
8:33
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, we were all fucked.
8:35
SPEAKER_03: Um, but it was fucking great, and he had a great, I think he had a great birthday.
8:39
SPEAKER_03: Um, and we all enjoyed celebrating with him.
8:42
SPEAKER_03: So that's what I'm fucking loving this week.
8:45
SPEAKER_03: And then your fuck off of the week as you my fuck off of the week, yeah, because I basically felt like I broke my kneecap and it basically went black and all greys and everything.
8:55
SPEAKER_03: I felt like a child.
8:56
SPEAKER_03: Um should have had brown brown spray on it.
8:59
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, I did think of Papa Clem the other day.
9:04
SPEAKER_03: Um, and then the other fuck off of the week, just to move on to that while I'm here, is people gossiping, but caveat, people gossiping about the worst times in your life, but never reaching out.
9:17
SPEAKER_03: So they'll talk about what happened to you and gossip about it, but they'll never actually get the full picture or never actually ask you what happened or if you're okay.
9:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you are a fucking loser if you do that.
9:32
SPEAKER_03: Just saying.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: I've had people do that about me.
9:35
SPEAKER_03: Me too.
9:36
SPEAKER_02: And I had a friend say to me, they were like, Oh, I bumped into this person that you used to know.
9:42
SPEAKER_02: And they were like, Oh my god, did you hear about Charlie?
9:45
SPEAKER_02: And I was just like, What why why is it fodder?
9:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, just get life.
9:51
SPEAKER_03: Well, it's literally it's literally telling you they've got nothing else to talk about, but they forget that it's someone's actual life.
9:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and someone's been through something, like let's not make trauma.
10:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I feel that.
10:03
SPEAKER_03: So that's my other fuck off the week.
10:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, it's fine.
10:08
SPEAKER_02: You can um do you want to know what my fuck off of the week is?
10:10
SPEAKER_02: Please tell me.
10:10
SPEAKER_02: I think it's gonna really surprise you and everyone who listens.
10:13
SPEAKER_03: Is it cheese?
10:14
SPEAKER_02: No, it's not fucking love cheese.
10:16
SPEAKER_02: Um, as we all know, someone very dear to my heart, Mr.
10:21
SPEAKER_02: Worldwide, Mr.
10:22
SPEAKER_02: 300.
10:23
SPEAKER_02: Oh fuck, I wonder where that was going.
10:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay.
10:25
SPEAKER_02: Um, he has done the collaboration that we've all been waiting for with Jason DeRulo.
10:33
SPEAKER_02: Right?
10:33
SPEAKER_02: So we expect big things from Jason.
10:35
SPEAKER_02: Wait, well, how do I not know about this?
10:37
SPEAKER_02: Because it's new.
10:38
SPEAKER_02: Uh I'm gonna make you listen to it on the way home.
10:40
SPEAKER_02: So after this, don't pause the podcast to listen to it, everyone, but listen to it afterwards.
10:44
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
10:44
SPEAKER_02: Jason and Mr.
10:45
SPEAKER_02: Worldwide have got a new song called Privacy.
10:47
SPEAKER_02: And I got an email about it because I'm on the fan mail.
10:50
SPEAKER_02: Of course you are.
10:51
SPEAKER_02: Gay.
10:52
SPEAKER_02: It how Charlie described it to me when I played it to him was it was like Pitbull and Jason DeRulo went on AI and said, Write me a song.
11:00
SPEAKER_02: It's terrible.
11:02
SPEAKER_02: Is it really bad?
11:03
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not even I'm not even angry, I'm disappointed.
11:06
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
11:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's um disappointing.
11:12
SPEAKER_02: I wasn't expecting that from you.
11:13
SPEAKER_02: No, I know wow, I know.
11:14
SPEAKER_02: And I God break.
11:15
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you should tell him.
11:16
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I couldn't do that to my boy.
11:18
SPEAKER_02: I think you have to.
11:19
SPEAKER_02: Feedback is a gift, and I think he needs it.
11:21
SPEAKER_02: It's shit.
11:22
SPEAKER_02: How did the people tell them after this?
11:25
SPEAKER_02: No, I don't really don't think how can you go from time of our lives with Neo to that?
11:29
SPEAKER_02: Honestly, when you give it a listen, you'll understand.
11:31
SPEAKER_02: So, um, yeah, that's that's my fuck off of the week.
11:34
SPEAKER_02: I have had one submitted though, and I'm really interested to hear your thoughts on this.
11:38
SPEAKER_02: Mixed toilets.
11:41
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, everyone's trying to be all DEI inclusive, yeah, which I'm absolutely here for.
11:47
SPEAKER_02: However, I do not want to go and use a toilet, and I agree with this person, I don't want to go and use a toilet where a man has left the toilet seat up and pissed all over the floor, and it's just disgusting.
12:00
SPEAKER_02: Like, keep them separate.
12:02
SPEAKER_02: I'm all good.
12:03
SPEAKER_02: If someone identifies as a woman, I'm all good with that.
12:06
SPEAKER_02: Come in.
12:07
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the sacred space that is the ladies' toilet.
12:10
SPEAKER_02: However, what I don't want is to go into a cubicle in one of these mixed toilets where a man hath pissed everywhere.
12:18
SPEAKER_02: It's so disgusting.
12:20
SPEAKER_02: Do you know why I'm laughing?
12:21
SPEAKER_03: Because one year at Cheltenham there was a massive queue for the ladies.
12:25
SPEAKER_03: Oh god, you didn't.
12:28
SPEAKER_03: You know, because I went in with it, it was Joe, our friend Joe's other housemate at the time.
12:34
SPEAKER_03: So her and I decided to go into the men's together.
12:36
SPEAKER_03: I wasn't, and all the men were like, ooh, what are you doing?
12:39
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, listen, I need a way.
12:41
SPEAKER_02: But it was the worst experience of my life.
12:43
SPEAKER_02: Every time they used that cubicle is to go for the city.
12:45
SPEAKER_03: But I did it.
12:46
SPEAKER_03: But I did go in.
12:47
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I did use that.
12:47
SPEAKER_02: I'd have to be like on the brink.
12:48
SPEAKER_02: But what are they gonna do?
12:50
SPEAKER_02: Arrest me?
12:50
SPEAKER_02: Wow, all these places now that are just trying to be really like, dare I say it, woke.
12:56
SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's rage bait.
12:58
SPEAKER_03: That's rage bait for the listeners.
12:59
SPEAKER_03: One thing I will say, there is so much shit around this at the moment.
13:05
SPEAKER_03: I think you should have women's, men's, and mixed.
13:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then it would be a chance.
13:10
SPEAKER_02: People can choose, have a choice, yeah.
13:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I like that idea more, but I'm just fed up of going into toilets where men have pissed everywhere.
13:18
SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, put the fucking toilet seat down, it's got a hinge for a reason.
13:20
SPEAKER_03: Or if you cannot aim, just sit.
13:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, have a lady wee, that's okay.
13:26
SPEAKER_03: Because I mean, this is probably not scientific fact.
13:32
SPEAKER_03: We know it's a film, but stepbrothers when she pisses in the urinal, she doesn't spray anywhere.
13:38
SPEAKER_03: So if a woman can do it, yeah, why can't a man?
13:41
SPEAKER_01: Alright.
13:42
SPEAKER_01: That's not true.
13:43
SPEAKER_01: You didn't that was CGI.
13:45
SPEAKER_02: What is it?
13:48
SPEAKER_01: Uh no, they confuse me.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: They really do.
13:50
SPEAKER_02: Would you put the toilet seat down if you went to it?
13:54
SPEAKER_02: You do you.
13:55
SPEAKER_02: We're inclusive.
13:56
SPEAKER_02: We're inclusive here unless it comes to toilets.
13:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
13:58
SPEAKER_01: No, no, I yeah, it's there's no sit-down wee's.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: That's not a thing for men.
14:05
SPEAKER_03: You know, yes, it is.
14:06
SPEAKER_03: No, no.
14:07
SPEAKER_03: Not for me.
14:08
SPEAKER_03: I've known many a man do a sit-down wee.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: And if it happens at the same time, fine.
14:12
SPEAKER_01: But I am not sitting down for a wee ever.
14:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay.
14:15
SPEAKER_01: Even pissed.
14:16
SPEAKER_01: Even at your own house, everywhere, anywhere.
14:19
SPEAKER_03: Well, not sitting down for a week.
14:20
SPEAKER_01: No.
14:21
SPEAKER_03: We spoke about this.
14:22
SPEAKER_03: I know loads of men that like a lazy wee.
14:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, when they're tired, I think that's a not this guy.
14:26
SPEAKER_03: No.
14:27
SPEAKER_02: He's ready to stand up, be standing to attention at all times.
14:30
SPEAKER_03: Go on.
14:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I bet it's because you miss leg day all the time.
14:35
SPEAKER_03: He's on tiptoes.
14:36
SPEAKER_03: You know too.
14:36
SPEAKER_02: He's boosting his calves.
14:39
SPEAKER_02: Poor Rich.
14:40
SPEAKER_02: Um, so moving on, I've got some updates for you.
14:42
SPEAKER_03: Please tell me.
14:44
SPEAKER_02: The work sea monkeys.
14:45
SPEAKER_02: I've got an update for everyone because now everyone's really curious to know.
14:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:48
SPEAKER_02: Uh, they've all grown significantly, they're all shagging like motherfuckers.
14:52
SPEAKER_02: It's wild.
14:53
SPEAKER_02: Picture evidence.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: Uh, yes, Jess sent me a photo, which we can upload to stories so people can see.
14:58
SPEAKER_02: They're really ugly and it will offend everyone.
15:00
SPEAKER_02: Watching them swim still makes me feel sick.
15:01
SPEAKER_02: However, they would go at it today.
15:05
SPEAKER_02: Um, so yeah, the sea monkeys are doing really well, just anyone who wondered, slash nobody nobody wondered.
15:09
SPEAKER_02: Right now.
15:10
SPEAKER_02: Um, I've got no slug updates from anyone, so sorry to report.
15:13
SPEAKER_02: Um, the other update I have feel like a newsreader.
15:16
SPEAKER_02: Um, Jamie Oliver's daughter, Poppy Honey.
15:19
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
15:19
SPEAKER_02: And we went through all the names.
15:21
SPEAKER_02: Poppy Honey is engaged.
15:23
SPEAKER_02: How old is she?
15:24
SPEAKER_02: Good for her, 24.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: It's a university boyfriend.
15:26
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, I was stuck on sea monkeys there.
15:28
SPEAKER_02: Uh they look kind of like knits.
15:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, swimming knits.
15:33
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
15:34
SPEAKER_02: And then the other update I had for you was I did say I'd go away and do my research on how much it would cost to taxidermy your horse.
15:41
SPEAKER_02: And I can tell you, depending on what you have done, depends on the cost.
15:45
SPEAKER_02: So if you want to go whole hog, it ranges anywhere between 6 and 12k.
15:50
SPEAKER_02: Now, if you've got a big boy like me, big old big John, I'd probably be more at the 12k.
15:55
SPEAKER_02: Fuck yeah.
15:56
SPEAKER_02: He's large and in charge.
15:57
SPEAKER_02: If you just wanted like their head mounted, like down their neck, basically to their shoulders, but not their shoulders, you're probably looking anywhere between three and five K.
16:05
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
16:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:06
SPEAKER_02: So you've got to really like your horse to be paying for them to be.
16:10
SPEAKER_02: You do really like your horse.
16:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, I don't know.
16:11
SPEAKER_02: They want a whole version of him forever.
16:13
SPEAKER_02: Imagine trying to move house with that.
16:15
SPEAKER_03: Where would you put him?
16:17
SPEAKER_02: Oh, if I had a Charlie's side of the bed.
16:20
SPEAKER_02: If I had a fancy schmatzy house with a driveway, I'd have him outside.
16:24
SPEAKER_02: Maybe with his own little maybe with his own little field shelter above him, and then I change his rug every now and again to fuck with people that are arriving at my house.
16:30
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, yeah.
16:31
SPEAKER_01: That's also a good chunk towards a new horse.
16:34
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean that that is that is a cost of a new horse.
16:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it is, yeah.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: Alright.
16:39
SPEAKER_03: No judgment here.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: If she wants to call him Big John 2.
16:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
16:43
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, there you go.
16:44
SPEAKER_02: There's all my little updates.
16:45
SPEAKER_02: What's any any news from you?
16:47
SPEAKER_02: Any other business?
16:48
SPEAKER_03: Well, there's no it's not any other business per se or updates, but it's just a couple of things I want to talk about.
16:53
SPEAKER_03: Um, what's your view on sharing baths?
16:56
SPEAKER_03: Like so if you were sharing a bath with someone.
16:58
SPEAKER_03: Like a a guy, sorry.
17:00
SPEAKER_02: You mean at the same time or one after the other?
17:02
SPEAKER_03: At the same time, we're not children.
17:03
SPEAKER_02: Well, no, that's where it's sort of saving in this economy?
17:07
SPEAKER_02: The one after the other thing is very your age between five and ten.
17:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:12
SPEAKER_02: In which case, fine.
17:13
SPEAKER_03: No, I mean your boyfriends sit in the tap end because all boys should, that kind of thing.
17:16
SPEAKER_02: Um, so I think if you're on a romantic weekend away and you've got one of those really big tubs and the taps are in the middle, yeah, then it's quite nice if you've got like a little glass of champagne on the go.
17:25
SPEAKER_02: The practicalities of it are something else, but it's nice for about five minutes, and then I want to get out and like properly shower and wash myself.
17:33
SPEAKER_03: Okay, fine.
17:34
SPEAKER_03: What do you think?
17:35
SPEAKER_03: Um, I don't mind it.
17:37
SPEAKER_03: The bath has to be big enough.
17:39
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
17:40
SPEAKER_03: Um, but a lot that this kind of leads into the next part.
17:44
SPEAKER_03: It's sharing baths, but with what I would say foul play, but a bit of like, you know, a bit of shenanigans.
17:51
SPEAKER_03: So would you have sex or do anything in the bath?
17:54
SPEAKER_02: No, and I'll tell you for why.
17:56
SPEAKER_02: Go on.
17:56
SPEAKER_02: I went to uni with a girl who knew someone like quite well, one of her really good friends.
18:02
SPEAKER_02: They were shagging in the bath, and it basically created a vacuum inside her.
18:06
SPEAKER_02: They got locked together, they had to this is awful.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: So they were there for ages trying to be like fucking hell, like we're literally stuck together.
18:12
SPEAKER_02: Like two dogs.
18:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, they had tied, they ended up having to go to hospital and somehow get removed.
18:20
SPEAKER_02: So they had to put like something up there to unvacuu the vacuum.
18:24
SPEAKER_02: So no, after hearing that, the fuck?
18:27
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely not.
18:28
SPEAKER_02: So warning to everyone don't get stuck together in the bath.
18:30
SPEAKER_03: The fuck.
18:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so no, absolutely not.
18:32
SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't.
18:33
SPEAKER_03: You wouldn't get fingered in the bath.
18:34
SPEAKER_02: No, vacuum, get stuck up there.
18:37
SPEAKER_03: What if someone offered to put their toe somewhere?
18:40
SPEAKER_03: Oh, no.
18:42
SPEAKER_03: That's being talked about.
18:44
SPEAKER_02: Toes.
18:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah in places.
18:46
SPEAKER_02: Who's getting toed?
18:46
SPEAKER_02: Where they shouldn't be.
18:47
SPEAKER_02: Getting towed.
18:48
SPEAKER_02: How many toenails?
18:49
SPEAKER_02: Or would you get toed?
18:51
SPEAKER_02: Especially a man's toe.
18:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no.
18:54
SPEAKER_02: Delicate lady toe.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: But I wouldn't want to get toed by a lady, so I don't want to get toed by anyone.
19:02
SPEAKER_03: Hello.
19:05
SPEAKER_03: Um, and then secondly, do you know the muffin man?
19:10
SPEAKER_03: Um who lives in Drury Lane.
19:15
SPEAKER_03: Do you know where the cock ring originated from and how it was first made?
19:20
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely no idea.
19:21
SPEAKER_02: So please educate me and everyone else.
19:24
SPEAKER_03: It's first originated in China, of course it did.
19:28
SPEAKER_03: And it's it was originally a goat's eyelid with eyelashes attached.
19:36
SPEAKER_03: No.
19:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and the eyelashes were attached so you could help with the sensation.
19:40
SPEAKER_03: If anyone wants to Google that, they can.
19:42
SPEAKER_02: Ah, what year was this?
19:44
SPEAKER_03: I will find out for you.
19:45
SPEAKER_03: Please hold caller.
19:47
SPEAKER_02: I feel like surely this must have been like the 1700s, because that's horrifying.
19:52
SPEAKER_03: Hang on.
19:54
SPEAKER_02: How do you know this?
19:55
SPEAKER_02: Like, what is the other thing?
19:57
SPEAKER_03: A lady came up with facts the other day on my a Tiki Talk.
20:01
SPEAKER_03: Um to be honest, the producer should be doing this, but you know.
20:06
SPEAKER_03: I can do this.
20:08
SPEAKER_02: Come on, outside of system.
20:09
SPEAKER_03: 13th century.
20:11
SPEAKER_02: Right, okay.
20:12
SPEAKER_02: And at what point so that's where it's like.
20:14
SPEAKER_03: The elastic skin of the eyelid was tied around the base of the organ while the remaining eyelashes were meant to provide extra stimulation.
20:22
SPEAKER_02: That's horrifying.
20:24
SPEAKER_03: Dried or prepared goat eyelids.
20:28
SPEAKER_03: Used for constriction and extra sensory tickling from the lashes.
20:32
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, modern terminology, goat eye ring.
20:37
SPEAKER_02: That's horrendous.
20:40
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, I thought you'd enjoy that.
20:43
SPEAKER_03: Oh no, no sale?
20:45
SPEAKER_03: Alright.
20:48
SPEAKER_01: Cancel the order.
20:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, cancel the order.
20:51
SPEAKER_03: Um yeah, anyway, I'll leave it there.
20:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't I I'm shooketh, no words.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Alright.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: You rendered me speechless there.
21:00
SPEAKER_03: Imagine if you just turn around and go, fucking hell yeah, pub quiz, I'm in, I know this.
21:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, to be fair, bit of useless knowledge, I'm here for it.
21:07
SPEAKER_02: Um so remember a few episodes back we spoke about things that would things that scared you as a child.
21:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
21:14
SPEAKER_02: Well you had rational fears about.
21:16
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
21:17
SPEAKER_02: So there was the story that was submitted about the first feeling this person had of anxiety being being at a family picnic, wasps being around, and I think their grandma being like, Don't be careful when you drink out of a can because the wasps might have gone in and it was stinging down your throat.
21:37
SPEAKER_02: So I actually I actually think I've got the origin of all anxiety.
21:42
SPEAKER_02: I played musical chairs at work the other day.
21:44
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
21:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and honestly, I have never felt more anxious in my life.
21:50
SPEAKER_02: I really didn't enjoy it because you're quite it's like I'm gonna next time we're there's a group of us together, I'm gonna make you both play it because you're also.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: Like tender hooks being like, Oh, am I gonna stop by the chair?
22:05
SPEAKER_02: Am I gonna be able to sit down in time?
22:06
SPEAKER_02: And it got to the point where I was like, guys, I'm gonna have to remove myself from the game here because I actually feel way too anxious.
22:11
SPEAKER_02: My heart rate spiked at like 164.
22:13
SPEAKER_02: You alright?
22:13
SPEAKER_02: No, it was not okay.
22:14
SPEAKER_02: You're panicking.
22:15
SPEAKER_02: It was almost it was honestly awful.
22:19
SPEAKER_02: So I actually think that's where the origin of like if I think about when did I first feel anxiety?
22:23
SPEAKER_02: Probably playing musical chairs.
22:26
SPEAKER_01: Are you just really competitive?
22:28
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm so competitive, yeah.
22:29
SPEAKER_02: Fears really that fears competitive.
22:31
SPEAKER_01: Does that mean to do that and not feel like you've got a place to sit?
22:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I didn't enjoy it.
22:35
SPEAKER_01: And also you're watched as well, which is the other side.
22:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know, yeah.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: And I don't like people people watching it's um well, I like people watching, I just don't like people watching.
22:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but yeah, so I just it gave me such intense anxiety that I was like, maybe we need to stop playing musical chairs in children.
22:50
SPEAKER_02: So I didn't I did not enjoy it.
22:51
SPEAKER_03: If anyone's had some anxiety-inducing musical chairs, let us let us know.
22:57
SPEAKER_02: And if not, play it ball at work, play it at work and let me know how you get on.
23:02
SPEAKER_02: Because I did not they play it at kids'.
23:05
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
23:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you do win a prize though.
23:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, the prize was bringing my heart rate down at the time.
23:12
SPEAKER_01: What was the prize at work at Vinces?
23:14
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I can't remember.
23:15
SPEAKER_01: There was a prize though.
23:16
SPEAKER_03: The prize was the blood pressure of a fucking hummingbird.
23:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
23:19
SPEAKER_03: That was the prize.
23:20
SPEAKER_02: It was panic.
23:20
SPEAKER_02: Um, so I've had two others that have been sent in off the back of this, so things that scared you as a child.
23:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:25
SPEAKER_02: Um, so somebody said, and this is a bit dark, so I'm gonna I'm gonna shit sandwich it, so I'm gonna do the dark one and then finish with a more full.
23:32
SPEAKER_02: Um they said they had a genuine fear of being injected in a club and someone leaving a card in your pocket that said, Welcome to the HIV Club.
23:43
SPEAKER_02: Apparently that was a thing in the 90s.
23:45
SPEAKER_02: Isn't that awful?
23:46
SPEAKER_02: So they had a genuine fear that that would happen to them.
23:48
SPEAKER_02: Someone just go up to them, inject them.
23:50
unknown: Who?
23:51
SPEAKER_02: Who would do that?
23:52
SPEAKER_03: But also, who's got the time to make the cards?
23:55
SPEAKER_03: Who's making their own personal branding for HIV?
23:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean it's fucked.
24:00
SPEAKER_01: I have so many questions, I don't know where to start.
24:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think maybe let's Google this.
24:04
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, it's meant it's mental.
24:06
SPEAKER_02: Um Jesus.
24:07
SPEAKER_02: And then, okay, so the the final one, this person, I mean, obviously everyone's anonymous, but they have asked us to remain anonymous.
24:15
SPEAKER_02: They said that this still affects them now.
24:17
SPEAKER_02: When they were younger, they went on a little family outing some Victorian museum, and on the back of the toilet, it said that there's so much bacteria on a toilet seat that you should always wipe it before you sit down and you should always wipe it afterwards.
24:31
SPEAKER_02: Ever since then, so this person was eight when they read that.
24:34
SPEAKER_02: Ever since then, other than being at home, they have never been able to sit down on another toilet.
24:40
SPEAKER_02: So if they're out and about, they have to hover, they squat legs of steel, yeah, yeah, over the toilet seat because they have that much like fear, anxiety, whatever it's ingrained in their brain.
24:54
SPEAKER_02: Do I know this person?
24:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't want to reveal their identity.
24:57
SPEAKER_03: No, we won't reveal them, but I just find that legs of steel thing.
25:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:02
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
25:02
SPEAKER_03: A bit of childhood trauma there.
25:04
SPEAKER_03: It's interesting, isn't it?
25:05
SPEAKER_03: Well yeah.
25:07
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
25:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:10
SPEAKER_02: Uh here ends my section.
25:13
SPEAKER_03: Here ends your section.
25:15
SPEAKER_03: So what I was gonna say, can we kick the next bit off?
25:18
SPEAKER_03: Your views before we go into it on can men and women be friends?
25:22
SPEAKER_02: You want my views on it first?
25:24
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
25:24
SPEAKER_02: This isn't it?
25:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:26
SPEAKER_02: Um, yes, I 100% think they can.
25:31
SPEAKER_02: I think any I'm really curious to know anyone who's like polar opposite and is like, no, absolutely not.
25:37
SPEAKER_02: I'm really interested to know their thoughts around this because I don't think that you should want to shag every other person of the opposite sex.
25:51
SPEAKER_02: Like, I think of course you can be friends with people if you can work with people and be colleagues with them.
25:55
SPEAKER_02: Why on earth can't you have not every relationship needs to be no agreed sexual like firmly agreed.
26:02
SPEAKER_03: Um I know you're going to agree with me.
26:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're gonna well you're you're gonna agree with the sentiment and say they can, but you're gonna say what I think, aren't you?
26:13
SPEAKER_03: I wanna see what you say.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: So I think they can, but we've kind of yeah, we have talked about this because if only if the man decides that they're friends, if the female decides they're in the friend zone, the man, not all, but is usually playing the long game.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: Do you think because if the female if the female can it would turn around?
26:38
SPEAKER_01: The male the man has to friend zone you the man has to friend zone you, and then you are genuinely friends because he has no interest in trying to sleep with you.
26:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, if you friend zone a guy, I hundred like 100% still thinking about it.
26:51
SPEAKER_03: They'll play the long game.
26:52
SPEAKER_01: You could do that in five years' time ago, do you?
26:54
SPEAKER_01: Would you?
26:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:57
SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
26:58
SPEAKER_01: I it gets complicated because I don't understand if you've been together and then you're not together.
27:03
SPEAKER_03: That kind of friendship is completely different, and it is interesting because a few of my like not all, but a few of my male friends, you know, we were friends for a very long time, and then all of a sudden they went, I got something to tell you.
27:19
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, fucking hell.
27:22
SPEAKER_03: It fucks the whole job.
27:24
SPEAKER_03: It fucks the whole job.
27:26
SPEAKER_02: Are men that sexually charged?
27:28
SPEAKER_02: I find that really men are that simple, yes.
27:30
SPEAKER_03: We're simple, we're sexually charged.
27:31
SPEAKER_03: They fucking arm, but if you gave it to them.
27:34
SPEAKER_02: That's um wild because I know obviously a lot of girls will have a lot of girls will have like gay best friends, and that's right.
27:44
SPEAKER_02: Rich almost just fell off his chair.
27:46
SPEAKER_02: Are you well?
27:47
SPEAKER_02: Gay best friends, fall off the chair.
27:51
SPEAKER_02: Um so obviously, uh in which case your theory does not stand.
27:57
SPEAKER_02: But I'm interested to know, would that stand if it were two gay guys?
28:02
SPEAKER_02: We can ask we can ask.
28:03
SPEAKER_02: Who are friends?
28:04
SPEAKER_01: We can ask, but yeah, I'm really curious.
28:06
SPEAKER_03: We can ask Jay and I can ask my friend Joseph.
28:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
28:09
SPEAKER_01: I would argue, I'm just gonna put it out there.
28:12
SPEAKER_01: No.
28:13
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
28:14
SPEAKER_01: Why?
28:15
SPEAKER_01: Gay men are supposed to be more uh promiscuous than because it's too simple, sexually charged in a relationship or not in a relationship.
28:26
SPEAKER_01: They're so they then repel each other.
28:28
SPEAKER_02: I'm thinking of like magnets.
28:29
SPEAKER_01: A gay guy I know, yeah.
28:32
SPEAKER_01: He is completely on another level.
28:34
SPEAKER_03: Interesting, okay.
28:36
SPEAKER_03: Well, so they say it is 86% said yes.
28:43
SPEAKER_03: That's they can be friends.
28:45
SPEAKER_03: 14% no.
28:46
SPEAKER_01: That's women.
28:47
SPEAKER_01: That's got to be women.
28:49
SPEAKER_02: That's so interesting.
28:50
SPEAKER_01: And guys will say it, but they don't mean it.
28:53
SPEAKER_03: No, full of shit.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: If I say it, I mean it for anyone listening.
28:56
SPEAKER_02: But I still think you can be um friends, and I go loads of people might go, no, disagree.
29:02
SPEAKER_02: I still think you can be friends with someone, sleep with them, and then go back to being friends with them.
29:06
SPEAKER_02: So if that thing about guys is like you're not friends unless they friend zone you, I still think you could be friends with someone, like you say, five years down the line, they then go, Yeah, I shag you.
29:17
SPEAKER_02: But then I think you could then go back to being friends.
29:19
SPEAKER_02: I don't think a lot of girls could do that.
29:21
SPEAKER_02: I will caveat by saying that.
29:23
SPEAKER_02: I've said that on it before.
29:24
SPEAKER_02: I think lots of girls, lots of girls can't do the whole friends benefits thing because they get too emotionally attached.
29:28
SPEAKER_02: Fine.
29:29
SPEAKER_02: But I think guys can.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, we we could probably do that.
29:34
SPEAKER_03: Oh, they can completely detach.
29:36
SPEAKER_01: But they've had sex then, they've kind of got what they came for.
29:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but then equally yeah, yeah, but then equally they could probably still come around and go, Do you want to do it again?
29:47
SPEAKER_03: And still not be emotionally attached.
29:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's just more of an action, a service.
29:53
SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
29:54
SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
29:55
SPEAKER_01: Out of interest, though, like if your boyfriend became friends with a girl that was single, I'd be confident enough in myself and my relationship that I wouldn't I wouldn't worry about it.
30:07
SPEAKER_03: But that's just me.
30:08
SPEAKER_03: I so my issue isn't necessarily like I don't care if boyfriends have female friends.
30:15
SPEAKER_03: My issue is if someone knows you're dating someone and then they actively do it because girls can be cunts to make you feel uncomfortable and make you feel jealous.
30:27
SPEAKER_03: That's the only time I'm weighing in.
30:29
SPEAKER_03: You know the scene in Yellowstone when Beth Dutton like bottles that girl because she's actively trying in front of her.
30:36
SPEAKER_02: But then I think fair point like you probably shouldn't be friends with that person, like that would be then a different conversation.
30:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but then sometimes men like the attention and they're like, oh, it's nothing.
30:45
SPEAKER_03: Do you know what I mean?
30:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm not a jealous person, but if you actively did that in front of me to get a rise and see what you'd get out of it, you're gonna get fucked up.
30:54
SPEAKER_03: You're getting best done.
30:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
30:56
SPEAKER_03: Speaking of, she's not here, but Lola is.
30:58
SPEAKER_03: We've got Lola, yeah.
30:59
SPEAKER_03: Cool, my girl.
31:01
SPEAKER_03: Um, you asked me to put out a poll.
31:05
SPEAKER_02: I did, yes.
31:05
SPEAKER_03: What was your poll?
31:06
SPEAKER_02: I wanted to know whether our dear listeners would consider being a stripper.
31:12
SPEAKER_02: So I I I say hell yeah.
31:14
SPEAKER_02: Of course, I fucking would.
31:15
SPEAKER_02: The reason that I put this out there is my algorithm does wonderful things on social media.
31:20
SPEAKER_02: But she does.
31:21
SPEAKER_02: I had a girl pop up who, in one night, one night of work, made$1,800 in tips.
31:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:28
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, this is insane.
31:30
SPEAKER_02: And she was basically talking through, and she's like, she had one good client who she hadn't seen for a while, and I think obviously a few other people, but he just kept on tipping her, kept on tipping it, kept on tipping her.
31:40
SPEAKER_02: And I thought, do you know what?
31:42
SPEAKER_02: If I looked that good and I had the confidence, would I be open to it?
31:49
SPEAKER_02: For$1,800 a night, I think I probably would.
31:51
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
31:52
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not here to judge.
31:53
SPEAKER_02: No.
31:54
SPEAKER_02: She's a dance, she probably started off as a actual, you know, dancer.
31:57
SPEAKER_03: One thing I'll say is a lot of people go, oh my god, you've been to strip clubs, whatever.
32:02
SPEAKER_03: I've been to fucking loads of strip clubs.
32:03
SPEAKER_03: I've never been to I've been to fucking loads.
32:05
SPEAKER_03: Everyone needs to settle down about it.
32:07
SPEAKER_03: If women can exploit men in that way, yeah.
32:12
SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's so upsetting because they make you think they love you.
32:15
SPEAKER_03: No, they don't, Darren.
32:16
SPEAKER_03: Each tits in front of you.
32:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
32:18
SPEAKER_02: Also, you're not allowed to touch a stripper, are you?
32:20
SPEAKER_02: Well, you're looking at me because you're a man.
32:22
SPEAKER_03: You're not supposed to know.
32:23
SPEAKER_03: You've been stripped upon it.
32:25
SPEAKER_01: Unless they touch you.
32:26
SPEAKER_03: Unless they touch you, or you have a like a dance and it's disgusting.
32:31
SPEAKER_01: Well, I don't think yeah.
32:33
SPEAKER_01: Unless you're painting.
32:36
SPEAKER_03: But I don't know.
32:36
SPEAKER_03: Again, it's another thing that I hate.
32:38
SPEAKER_03: We shame women for that job.
32:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
32:40
SPEAKER_03: But actually, we shouldn't.
32:42
SPEAKER_03: Because it's quite I think it's quite empowering for them.
32:44
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think so.
32:45
SPEAKER_01: Why don't they have male the other way?
32:47
SPEAKER_01: Strip clubs.
32:48
SPEAKER_02: They do.
32:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, sorry.
32:49
SPEAKER_02: Have you not heard of the Magic Mike tool?
32:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
32:50
SPEAKER_02: Same same thing.
32:51
SPEAKER_01: It's a tool.
32:52
SPEAKER_01: You don't you don't get strip clubs, do you?
32:54
SPEAKER_03: Why do you know Magic Mic they do?
32:56
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna can we could do Mr.
32:58
SPEAKER_03: Producer, can you Google that please?
33:00
SPEAKER_03: Um, but anyway, well, you while you Google that search history.
33:03
SPEAKER_02: I yeah, basically, I was super impressed, and it just made me think, what would other people think?
33:08
SPEAKER_02: Because I'm really interested to hear what the results are.
33:10
SPEAKER_03: The divide isn't as extreme as I thought.
33:14
SPEAKER_03: It's 44% hell yeah.
33:16
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
33:17
SPEAKER_03: 56% hell nah.
33:18
SPEAKER_02: Hello, my fellow stripper.
33:20
SPEAKER_03: The person who made me laugh the most is someone we both know.
33:26
SPEAKER_03: Okay, um, but I've only met her recently, but she just really cracked me up.
33:31
SPEAKER_03: She messaged messaged the Instagram to say I'd be so awkward.
33:37
SPEAKER_03: And then she goes, I'd have to refund people.
33:40
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, sir, here's your fiverback.
33:44
SPEAKER_03: And she really made me laugh.
33:46
SPEAKER_03: Um, so yeah, fair fucks.
33:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean I wouldn't do it as me, Charlie, who you see here right now, but if I was able to dance, looked unreal, and had the confidence to do it, yeah, then hell yeah, why not?
34:01
SPEAKER_02: I would say the same, yeah.
34:04
SPEAKER_02: Fair fucks.
34:05
SPEAKER_02: Love that.
34:07
SPEAKER_02: He's still Googling.
34:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's not an easy question.
34:11
SPEAKER_02: Well, night clubs, maybe not as common as we think.
34:15
SPEAKER_01: I mean, no, I've I've started to look at reviews.
34:18
SPEAKER_01: This doesn't go anywhere.
34:19
SPEAKER_01: Beautiful and talented dancers, but that could be either.
34:22
SPEAKER_02: Love that.
34:24
SPEAKER_02: So I want to ask you a question.
34:25
SPEAKER_01: Please do.
34:26
SPEAKER_02: What are your thoughts on dating age gaps?
34:31
SPEAKER_02: Like what's the what's the max you would go to, and just what are your thoughts on it in general?
34:37
SPEAKER_03: Come to the right lady.
34:40
SPEAKER_03: Of course I have.
34:41
SPEAKER_03: I've had two significant age gaps in my life.
34:46
SPEAKER_03: Um one, I think we were 12 years.
34:51
SPEAKER_03: I was about to say we were 12, and I was like, live, be careful about what you said.
34:55
SPEAKER_03: And hang on, wait, I've got to do the mental maths on the other one was 29 years.
35:02
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god! I'm pretty sure my mum was like 27 when she had me, maybe 28.
35:11
SPEAKER_02: So I'm like, he could have been your father.
35:14
SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
35:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
35:15
SPEAKER_03: So I was 25 at the time.
35:17
unknown: Wow.
35:18
SPEAKER_03: But he's he was glorious.
35:21
SPEAKER_03: I had a very nice time.
35:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
35:23
SPEAKER_03: But like Pierce Brosnan.
35:25
SPEAKER_03: Um and he had a boat.
35:26
SPEAKER_02: So that's I mean that changes things.
35:29
SPEAKER_02: The boat does change things.
35:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm not here to judge.
35:32
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I doesn't bother me.
35:36
SPEAKER_02: Were you really doesn't were you in a serious relationship, or because I guess you were 25, right?
35:42
SPEAKER_03: So no, it's more of a dalliance.
35:44
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
35:45
SPEAKER_03: Eleven, no, 12 years older than me.
35:49
SPEAKER_03: The one before that was we were together five years.
35:52
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
35:54
SPEAKER_03: Um, it's I don't know, it's never bothered me.
35:57
SPEAKER_03: It's always been more about the person and the character.
36:00
SPEAKER_03: Um, my parents have a large age gap.
36:03
SPEAKER_03: Well, my stepdad and my mum have a large age gap.
36:06
SPEAKER_03: So I don't know.
36:08
SPEAKER_03: A lot of people can't get past it.
36:10
SPEAKER_03: A lot of people really struggle with it, but I just think each is their fucking own.
36:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
36:13
SPEAKER_03: Obviously, if you're in your 40s and you're dating an 18-year-old, you are a bit of a sick flock.
36:20
SPEAKER_03: But I think when you get to your 20s and older, you're a bit more of an adult.
36:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
36:27
SPEAKER_02: The reason I ask is that Bradley Cooper, what a man.
36:30
SPEAKER_02: Oh, here we go.
36:31
SPEAKER_02: And Gigi Hadid, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:33
SPEAKER_02: They've got a 20-year age gap.
36:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't think that's an issue.
36:36
SPEAKER_02: No, I don't.
36:37
SPEAKER_02: And so say, I mean, I don't believe anything that I read in the tabloids because it's our fake news, but so say they got secretly married last month.
36:44
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
36:45
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I thought, good for them.
36:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
36:47
SPEAKER_02: But it just got me thinking, like, what's a what's a realistic age gap?
36:53
SPEAKER_02: Because I think, like you said, like having a bit of a fling with someone that's a bit older is very different to being in like a full-blown committed relationship with someone.
37:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
37:02
SPEAKER_02: If you've got that much of I think the thing I would struggle with would be having that much of a significant age gap is, and it sounds really sad, but like they're gonna die before you in theory.
37:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
37:14
SPEAKER_02: And then you have like a whole other life without them, which maybe people are here for, but I just it wouldn't have stopped me having a full, full-time thing.
37:23
SPEAKER_02: Would it not?
37:24
SPEAKER_02: No.
37:24
SPEAKER_02: You so you think it's about the right person?
37:26
SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
37:27
SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
37:28
SPEAKER_02: How did this person compare age-wise with your parents?
37:34
SPEAKER_02: Um, older, younger?
37:39
SPEAKER_03: Trying to work out younger than my stepdad, a bit older than my mum.
37:46
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
37:47
SPEAKER_02: And did they know?
37:51
unknown: No.
37:52
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
37:52
SPEAKER_02: Uh, one did, one didn't.
37:54
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
37:54
SPEAKER_02: Because I think that's the other thing as well, is if you're again fully committed relationship versus a fling, it must be strange.
38:05
SPEAKER_02: I think if it's like your parents and they're like similar age and they're pals to be like, oh, you're showing.
38:10
SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, one one fashion.
38:13
SPEAKER_03: One did, one didn't.
38:14
SPEAKER_03: Um, but I not a bad word to say about him.
38:20
SPEAKER_03: Still to this day, not a bad word to say about him.
38:23
SPEAKER_03: Nice guy.
38:24
SPEAKER_03: Can we come on your boat, sir?
38:27
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if he's still got it.
38:29
SPEAKER_02: I'll find out.
38:30
SPEAKER_02: Let us know.
38:32
SPEAKER_01: Report back.
38:33
SPEAKER_02: Hey, maybe we could are you up for recording a podcast episode on a boat?
38:36
SPEAKER_01: I know about that story.
38:38
SPEAKER_01: I don't think he's gonna let you on his boat.
38:43
SPEAKER_02: Hello, sir.
38:44
SPEAKER_02: Do you have a boat?
38:45
SPEAKER_02: We'd like to come on it.
38:46
SPEAKER_03: Can Charlie go on your boat?
38:47
SPEAKER_02: I'd like to come on your boat.
38:49
SPEAKER_03: Um, no, I I just I I really don't see it as an issue.
38:54
SPEAKER_03: Do you?
38:55
SPEAKER_02: Um I think it depends on the it depends on the age gap.
39:00
SPEAKER_02: I think for me personally, I wouldn't want to go much higher.
39:04
SPEAKER_02: I I hear what you're saying, it's about the person, so it's difficult unless you've been in that position to really truly say.
39:09
SPEAKER_02: I think the idea of it puts me off.
39:15
SPEAKER_02: Just because I think it's so significant.
39:17
SPEAKER_02: Like I couldn't date someone that was older than my parents.
39:19
SPEAKER_02: I think I'd find that really strange.
39:22
SPEAKER_02: I just think you've lived really different lives as well, and it would make me question, especially if it was an older bloke, I'd be like, Can you not bag anybody your own age?
39:32
SPEAKER_02: I just in some ways I just find a bit pervy as well.
39:35
SPEAKER_02: I won't lie.
39:36
SPEAKER_02: I don't know, that's just me.
39:39
SPEAKER_02: Depends who it is, depends who it is.
39:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I get it.
39:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what do you think about um because some people get really weird about this about a uh woman dating a man that's younger, like cougar?
39:51
SPEAKER_02: Again, I don't think it matters.
39:53
SPEAKER_03: No, I don't either.
39:53
SPEAKER_03: But it's like is a really taboo thing.
39:56
SPEAKER_03: There are times where I'm like, like I've dated someone younger, briefly.
40:02
SPEAKER_03: Cucumber boy.
40:03
SPEAKER_03: No, not cucumber boy, long buoy.
40:06
SPEAKER_03: Ah, yes, football buoy.
40:08
SPEAKER_03: Yes, but and I remember when I first met him, I was like, No, you're fucked far too young for me, and it was kind of like I don't know if he saw it as a challenge or what, but he was we got on really well.
40:21
SPEAKER_03: Um it was never gonna be anything serious.
40:25
SPEAKER_03: Did I feel weird about it?
40:26
SPEAKER_03: I think I was very aware I was older.
40:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but not because he was immature, if that makes sense.
40:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, interesting.
40:32
SPEAKER_03: Um I don't know, but I I don't think it would bother me massively.
40:36
SPEAKER_03: No, but then I've always sort of dated older, so you're full spectrum.
40:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, good for you.
40:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, weird.
40:43
SPEAKER_03: I love it.
40:44
SPEAKER_03: Um, but I d I will say once you get to a certain point, you might not be as attracted to them.
40:53
SPEAKER_03: You don't know.
40:54
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I'm not gonna date someone in their 70s at this age.
40:57
SPEAKER_03: Unless they've got a boat.
40:59
SPEAKER_03: Unless they've got to support it.
41:01
SPEAKER_03: And if that's the case, then I will marry them just so you get it.
41:07
SPEAKER_03: Um, but I don't know.
41:09
SPEAKER_03: Again, depends on the person.
41:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
41:11
SPEAKER_03: I know lots of people in age gap relationships who are very, very happy.
41:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:16
SPEAKER_02: I think it's just such a taboo thing, and actually, in some ways, a really like personal preference and that person.
41:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
41:22
SPEAKER_02: Like love who you want to love.
41:23
SPEAKER_03: I don't care.
41:25
SPEAKER_03: No, I get it.
41:26
SPEAKER_03: I get it.
41:28
SPEAKER_03: Have you got any other points on that?
41:30
SPEAKER_03: Have you got any points on that?
41:33
SPEAKER_01: I think I agree with Charlie, actually.
41:35
SPEAKER_01: More.
41:35
SPEAKER_01: I couldn't go older than my parents.
41:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
41:37
SPEAKER_01: But I have been older.
41:39
SPEAKER_01: And younger, but I think it is much older, Rich.
41:41
SPEAKER_01: Only there's interest from older, like close to 50, like 10 years.
41:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
41:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay.
41:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
41:47
SPEAKER_01: But I it for me, I think it's different because I'm yo I'm a guy and they're older.
41:53
SPEAKER_01: They want you to look and I I look quite young for my age as well, which doesn't help.
41:58
SPEAKER_02: Have you been having micro needling?
42:00
SPEAKER_02: No, he has burtacks.
42:02
SPEAKER_01: I really haven't.
42:03
SPEAKER_01: I would try microneedling though at some point.
42:05
SPEAKER_01: Just to see what you two are going on about.
42:08
SPEAKER_03: Great.
42:08
SPEAKER_03: Poppy, we're coming in.
42:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm supposed to actually try it.
42:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, actually, we could we could do that as content.
42:13
SPEAKER_03: Rich goes to see Poppy.
42:14
SPEAKER_03: I think that's a great idea.
42:15
SPEAKER_03: Perfect.
42:16
SPEAKER_03: Also, you haven't submitted your wet t-shirt for the group yet, please.
42:19
SPEAKER_03: Women are still waiting.
42:20
SPEAKER_03: I don't know that I want to see that.
42:22
SPEAKER_00: Women are actually they would love that.
42:25
SPEAKER_03: I know I know a certain couple of ladies that would love that.
42:28
SPEAKER_03: So could you hurry up and do it?
42:29
SPEAKER_03: I'm not one of them, I will say.
42:31
SPEAKER_01: Have I met them?
42:33
SPEAKER_03: Have you met them?
42:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
42:34
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
42:35
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
42:36
SPEAKER_03: I'm sure you know who I'm thinking of.
42:38
unknown: Yeah.
42:39
SPEAKER_03: Um, anyway, moving on.
42:42
SPEAKER_03: The weirdest thing that someone has said during or after sex to you.
42:47
SPEAKER_02: Have we put this out as a question on Instagram?
42:49
SPEAKER_03: Okay, great.
42:50
SPEAKER_02: I'm really excited to do that.
42:51
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I did it a couple weeks ago, but obviously because we've been busy, busy with other things.
42:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
42:55
SPEAKER_03: Uh, I haven't been able to put it in.
42:58
SPEAKER_03: Um one of them was uh good boy.
43:04
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
43:06
SPEAKER_03: I mean, to be fair, I'd find that quite funny.
43:08
SPEAKER_03: Good boy.
43:09
SPEAKER_03: Um, I love you.
43:13
SPEAKER_03: Way to choose your moment.
43:15
SPEAKER_03: Just after sex, I hope you haven't given me chlamydia.
43:18
SPEAKER_03: Oh god! Nearly ball punched him.
43:21
SPEAKER_02: That's like the the silent STI as well.
43:24
SPEAKER_02: Like, very rarely do you have symptoms.
43:27
SPEAKER_03: Um during.
43:29
SPEAKER_03: I still fancy you, and have you gotten over the fact that I still talk to my ex now?
43:35
SPEAKER_03: Oh fuck.
43:39
SPEAKER_03: Two other really funny ones.
43:41
SPEAKER_03: By the way, I'm married.
43:43
SPEAKER_02: Oh during, or is this after?
43:47
SPEAKER_02: After.
43:47
SPEAKER_03: I think no, I think she told me that was before.
43:51
SPEAKER_03: But I will I will triple check my research on that.
43:55
SPEAKER_03: And um, from someone we all know, and I will tell Charlie who.
44:00
SPEAKER_03: It is afterwards.
44:01
SPEAKER_03: Spit on it, swear at it.
44:04
SPEAKER_02: You've told me that swear.
44:05
SPEAKER_02: I told you.
44:08
SPEAKER_03: Um, before I say a couple of mine, I just thought I'd see if you've got any weird ones to share with me.
44:14
SPEAKER_02: No, I don't think I do.
44:16
SPEAKER_03: I've got a few.
44:18
SPEAKER_03: One of them I was in Valdezair, Christmas 2018.
44:23
SPEAKER_03: Um, and I shagged a ski instructor.
44:27
SPEAKER_03: Which you did.
44:28
SPEAKER_03: The first thing fucked me off was like shagging a holiday rep.
44:31
SPEAKER_03: Such a cliche.
44:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:32
SPEAKER_03: Shut up.
44:33
SPEAKER_03: Basic bitch.
44:34
SPEAKER_03: You are walking cliche.
44:36
SPEAKER_03: When I found out his age, it was the most annoying thing.
44:40
SPEAKER_03: Because I'm sure he told us, I'll ask so for this actually.
44:43
SPEAKER_03: I'm sure he told us he was like 24 or something.
44:47
SPEAKER_03: He ended up being like, I'm sure it was 19 or 20, and I was 26 or something.
44:54
SPEAKER_03: No.
44:54
SPEAKER_03: No, I what would I have been then?
44:56
SPEAKER_03: I was a lot older than him anyway.
44:57
SPEAKER_03: Um the next there was a whole thing.
45:01
SPEAKER_03: We're going home.
45:02
SPEAKER_03: My sister was in a separate room.
45:04
SPEAKER_03: My friend's Sophie was staying with me.
45:06
SPEAKER_03: I made my sister switch rooms with me, right?
45:09
SPEAKER_03: Switch rooms to me, give me the keys, whatever.
45:12
SPEAKER_03: The next day he leaves, and I've still got the text on my phone to this day because I find it so fucking funny.
45:20
SPEAKER_03: Screenshot this and put it on stories, please.
45:21
SPEAKER_03: I I absolutely will, but I'll put his name out of it.
45:25
SPEAKER_03: Umlivia, I'd like to ask you something about last night.
45:35
SPEAKER_03: The thing is, I'm worried about the condom because it was broken.
45:39
SPEAKER_03: Did you ever do a test or analysis to know if you have the AIDS?
45:43
SPEAKER_03: Cedar in French.
45:46
SPEAKER_03: The AIDS.
45:48
SPEAKER_03: The AIDS.
45:49
SPEAKER_03: And honestly, I still to this day think it's the funniest fucking thing.
45:54
SPEAKER_03: Um let us know.
45:55
SPEAKER_02: Do you have the AIDS?
45:56
SPEAKER_03: Do you no?
45:57
SPEAKER_03: I don't have the AIDS, no, I don't.
45:59
SPEAKER_03: Uh, but and then I would say, I mean, I could go on for ages about these, but the other worst thing, and I actually have no idea if this guy's listening.
46:09
SPEAKER_03: Do you remember I was dating someone who ran a rather large estate, briefly?
46:16
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
46:17
SPEAKER_03: Well, he was introduced to me by one of our male friends.
46:23
SPEAKER_01: I know it is.
46:35
SPEAKER_03: Do you remember?
46:36
SPEAKER_03: The fur coat.
46:37
SPEAKER_02: Stockings, fur coat, now that's giving stripper vibes.
46:41
SPEAKER_02: I'm that's giving J-Lo and hustlers.
46:44
SPEAKER_03: That was I was channeling.
46:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
46:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
46:47
SPEAKER_03: Turn up, fine.
46:48
SPEAKER_03: Go upstairs, fine.
46:50
SPEAKER_03: He puts me down on the bed, and he literally goes, Thank you, beep.
46:57
SPEAKER_03: So he basically thanked our male friend as he lay down on the bed before we had sex.
47:06
SPEAKER_03: Honestly.
47:08
SPEAKER_03: I know.
47:09
SPEAKER_03: It was bait.
47:10
SPEAKER_03: He basically went, let's make up a name.
47:12
SPEAKER_03: Thank you, William.
47:14
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
47:15
SPEAKER_03: I mean, you think the cot saws is in a drought right now.
47:17
SPEAKER_03: You're essentially talking to me like talking about me like I'm not there.
47:21
SPEAKER_03: And also, why are you bringing him into this?
47:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's amazing.
47:26
SPEAKER_03: Killed my whole vibe.
47:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
47:28
SPEAKER_02: I've turned up looking 10 out of fucking 10.
47:30
SPEAKER_02: I know, and that's the first thing you say.
47:34
SPEAKER_02: I will save anybody who's not done the fur coat section of their heels.
47:39
SPEAKER_03: That's another one of my top two great ideas.
47:42
SPEAKER_03: You've done it.
47:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this was knowledge shed.
47:44
SPEAKER_02: See, this is girls have group chats for things like this.
47:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I've got so many fur coat.
47:49
SPEAKER_02: It's iconic.
47:50
SPEAKER_02: I I did feel I was channeling my inner J-Lo for sure.
47:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:54
SPEAKER_02: Recommend.
47:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so if anyone needs any tips, bar wet t-shirt, fur coat, full set underneath heels, go for it.
48:00
SPEAKER_02: Just keep listening to this podcast because you'll find out.
48:02
SPEAKER_03: The real crowd pleaser.
48:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
48:04
SPEAKER_03: Just don't walk out in front of your parents.
48:06
SPEAKER_03: That's all.
48:07
SPEAKER_03: If you live on your own, it's fine.
48:09
SPEAKER_03: It's only your dog's going, you're a hoe.
48:11
SPEAKER_02: And I will say, like, ah, here she goes again.
48:14
SPEAKER_02: My Gokka Spaniel looking at me like, where are you going?
48:17
SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't recommend driving very far without a change of clothes in case you get caught out, pulled over.
48:25
SPEAKER_03: Do you know how I drove?
48:27
SPEAKER_02: How?
48:27
SPEAKER_03: Oversized t-shirt and just stockings fully out, with with like trainers on.
48:33
SPEAKER_03: And then I literally took, I pulled over in a lay-by before I got there and took the t-shirt off, put my heels on and then put my coat on.
48:42
SPEAKER_02: Get it, girl.
48:43
SPEAKER_03: So if I'd have if I'd have fucking if my attire already gone or something like that, I'd have been fucked.
48:47
SPEAKER_02: Hello, Mr.
48:48
SPEAKER_02: Officer.
48:49
SPEAKER_02: What about that ticket?
48:50
SPEAKER_02: Someone would have changed it.
48:52
SPEAKER_03: How do I get out of this one, boys?
48:54
SPEAKER_03: Honestly, that would have been easy.
48:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love that.
48:58
SPEAKER_03: Fucking hell.
48:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, sorry.
49:00
SPEAKER_03: Anyway.
49:01
SPEAKER_03: Weirdest thing someone said to me during sex.
49:04
SPEAKER_03: Um, I've got more, but I don't know if it's worth saying.
49:09
SPEAKER_02: Can we put put this question out on Instagram again?
49:10
SPEAKER_02: I want to see if anyone else submits any more.
49:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
49:15
SPEAKER_03: Weirdest thing someone said to you before during sex, Rich?
49:18
SPEAKER_01: No one's really.
49:19
SPEAKER_01: No.
49:19
SPEAKER_01: It's probably mummy.
49:21
SPEAKER_03: Mummy?
49:22
SPEAKER_01: No.
49:22
SPEAKER_01: It said probably.
49:23
SPEAKER_01: Someone called you mummy.
49:24
SPEAKER_01: No.
49:26
SPEAKER_01: Um, no, I don't think I got any.
49:28
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
49:29
SPEAKER_01: I've only got my friends one.
49:30
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
49:31
SPEAKER_02: Share your friends one.
49:31
SPEAKER_02: Share your friends one.
49:32
SPEAKER_01: She, um, after he finished, he said, Does this mean you're my girlfriend now?
49:40
SPEAKER_03: Oh, fuck off.
49:43
SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Amy.
49:45
SPEAKER_02: Ick, ick, ick.
49:47
SPEAKER_02: Oh, don't you do it?
49:48
SPEAKER_02: Please tell me she chinned him off after that.
49:51
SPEAKER_01: I thought I didn't finish the conversation.
49:52
SPEAKER_01: I was laughing too much.
49:53
SPEAKER_03: Oh man.
49:54
SPEAKER_03: I'll tell you what, we'll move on to.
49:56
SPEAKER_03: Let's do some icks.
49:58
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
49:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, let's do some icks.
50:00
SPEAKER_03: Right, you ready?
50:01
SPEAKER_02: I'm ready.
50:03
SPEAKER_03: We were showering together and he told his dad it was okay to come into the bathroom to brush his teeth.
50:08
SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, no.
50:11
SPEAKER_03: That is a lack of boundaries.
50:15
SPEAKER_03: No?
50:15
SPEAKER_02: That's so fucking weird.
50:17
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
50:18
SPEAKER_02: Hi, come and look at my girlfriend's naked body.
50:22
SPEAKER_03: No.
50:23
SPEAKER_03: He woke his mum up at 2 a.m.
50:25
SPEAKER_03: because he was hungry and wanted her to make him a snack.
50:29
SPEAKER_02: Are you 10?
50:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
50:34
SPEAKER_03: She started calling my mum mum the very first time I introduced them.
50:39
SPEAKER_03: When I asked her about it later, she said she likes to manifest.
50:44
SPEAKER_03: Can you imagine calling Charlie's mum mum?
50:46
SPEAKER_03: No.
50:47
SPEAKER_03: Like like but after the first, like even now, like after the first time you met her.
50:51
SPEAKER_02: No, that's weird.
50:52
SPEAKER_02: So weird.
50:55
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
50:59
SPEAKER_03: Hang on.
51:03
SPEAKER_03: I went over for what I thought would be a one-night stand, and he had framed photos of George Bush and Abe Lincoln on his wall.
51:12
SPEAKER_03: Then he told me he was a virgin.
51:18
SPEAKER_02: How'd you get to the point of thinking you're gonna have a one-night stand with someone?
51:27
SPEAKER_03: What, and you don't know that?
51:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's a good point.
51:30
SPEAKER_03: That is a good point.
51:31
SPEAKER_03: Confidant.
51:33
SPEAKER_03: He was in the bathroom and asked me if I wanted hot dogs for dinner, then proceeded to wrap his balls around his flaccid penis in the shape of a hot dog.
51:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh, way to ruin hot dogs.
51:43
SPEAKER_02: I was like, yeah, fair play.
51:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, like a hot dog.
51:46
SPEAKER_03: You're not coming back from that.
51:47
SPEAKER_03: Like, it's absolutely horrendous.
51:49
SPEAKER_03: Ick city bitch, ick ick city bitch.
51:54
SPEAKER_03: Took a long haul flight, and I woke up eight hours in to him clipping his toenails with his bare feet on my lap.
52:02
SPEAKER_03: That's horrifying.
52:05
SPEAKER_03: She was funny the other day the toe thing came out again.
52:10
SPEAKER_03: Because one of my friends was travelling home and she was at the airport and she's like, There's this this bare feet.
52:15
SPEAKER_03: Why have people got their bare feet in the airport?
52:18
SPEAKER_03: Honestly, unreal.
52:21
SPEAKER_03: Um my god.
52:28
SPEAKER_03: In the middle of getting busy, he stopped and froze.
52:31
SPEAKER_03: When I asked what was happening, he said, buffering.
52:36
SPEAKER_02: Was that him trying to buy himself more time?
52:37
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
52:38
SPEAKER_02: I think it's probably him.
52:39
SPEAKER_03: What the fuck that means?
52:41
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
52:42
SPEAKER_03: Who's fucking saying that?
52:44
SPEAKER_03: Buffering.
52:45
SPEAKER_02: Okay, this or that.
52:47
SPEAKER_02: Ghosting or an honest it's not working text.
52:50
SPEAKER_03: It's not working.
52:51
SPEAKER_02: Dating apps or meeting organically.
52:53
SPEAKER_02: Meeting organically.
52:54
SPEAKER_02: Words of affirmation or acts of service.
52:58
SPEAKER_02: Acts of service.
52:59
SPEAKER_02: PDA in public or affection kept private.
53:04
SPEAKER_02: Affection kept private.
53:08
SPEAKER_02: Homebody nights in or going out every weekend.
53:14
SPEAKER_03: Going out.
53:16
SPEAKER_02: Splitting bills 50-50 or whoever earns more pays more.
53:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I don't know.
53:23
SPEAKER_03: That's a tricky one.
53:24
SPEAKER_03: Do you own a boat?
53:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, do you own a boat?
53:27
SPEAKER_02: Do you own a boat?
53:28
SPEAKER_02: There's no 50-50 here, honey.
53:30
SPEAKER_03: I think it I think it I know couples where people one of them earns significantly more.
53:35
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, I think it does have to be sort of relatively equal.
53:38
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
53:39
SPEAKER_02: Um, a partner who's a little jealous in brackets shows they care, or completely unbothered.
53:46
SPEAKER_03: Uh define completely unbothered, because if they're completely unbothered about you, then get fucked.
53:52
SPEAKER_03: But jealousy, taxic.
53:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'd probably go for that.
54:01
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
54:01
SPEAKER_02: Um, someone who's too nice, too fast, or takes things slow to build trust.
54:08
SPEAKER_02: Slow.
54:09
SPEAKER_02: Don't forget to breathe slow.
54:13
SPEAKER_02: The fuck?
54:14
SPEAKER_02: That's the song.
54:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know.
54:16
SPEAKER_02: To turn with my eyes close.
54:19
SPEAKER_02: Who sings it?
54:22
SPEAKER_02: Is that Pixie Lot?
54:24
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
54:25
SPEAKER_03: I don't know, we'll find out in a minute.
54:26
SPEAKER_02: Uh love bombing early on or a slow burn that builds over time.
54:30
SPEAKER_03: Slow burn.
54:31
SPEAKER_03: Nice.
54:32
SPEAKER_02: Alright, your turn.
54:34
SPEAKER_03: Thoughtful small gifts or big splurges on special occasions.
54:40
SPEAKER_03: Ooh.
54:41
SPEAKER_03: Can I have both?
54:43
SPEAKER_02: No.
54:43
SPEAKER_02: Uh then I will go thoughtful small gifts.
54:46
SPEAKER_03: Ooh, okay.
54:47
SPEAKER_03: Cuddling every night or need your own space to sleep well.
54:51
SPEAKER_02: Cuddle me.
54:52
SPEAKER_03: Are you actually that's a point.
54:53
SPEAKER_03: I've shared a bed with you and I have cuddled you.
54:55
SPEAKER_02: Snuggler.
54:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
54:57
SPEAKER_03: Um partner who says I love you first and often or shows it instead.
55:03
SPEAKER_02: Oh, say it to me.
55:05
SPEAKER_02: And I want them to say it first.
55:06
SPEAKER_03: Who said it first?
55:07
SPEAKER_03: Out of you two.
55:08
SPEAKER_02: Charlie.
55:08
SPEAKER_02: He like shouted it out the window by accident, like came out by accident.
55:12
SPEAKER_02: It like it was like uh he was driving off and he was like, Love you.
55:14
SPEAKER_02: And then I was like, Did that just did that just happen?
55:18
SPEAKER_03: I bet you drove away, like, holy.
55:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and so he was we've always spoken about it since.
55:23
SPEAKER_02: He was driving off, going, Oh my god, did you hear what I said?
55:25
SPEAKER_02: And I was stood there going, Did I hit did I hear that right?
55:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he said it was just like uh he'd been holding it in for so long, probably trying to wait to find the right moment.
55:33
SPEAKER_02: And so he'd also been thinking it for so it just came out like word vomit.
55:38
SPEAKER_02: I know, but yeah, I'd never say it first.
55:40
SPEAKER_02: I was like, nah, absolutely not.
55:41
SPEAKER_02: Oh, bless him.
55:42
SPEAKER_02: I know.
55:43
SPEAKER_02: Would you ever say it first?
55:45
SPEAKER_02: No, neither rich, you're a bloke, bit different.
55:49
SPEAKER_01: I think guys do say it first.
55:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
55:51
SPEAKER_03: Someone who never fights with you or someone who fights fair.
55:57
SPEAKER_02: Oh someone who fights fair.
56:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
56:01
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
56:05
SPEAKER_03: A partner who's close with their family or more independent from them.
56:10
SPEAKER_02: Close to their family.
56:12
SPEAKER_03: If they're nice people.
56:14
SPEAKER_03: I was gonna say.
56:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
56:15
SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
56:16
SPEAKER_03: Depends on what their family's like.
56:17
SPEAKER_03: That's a nice heart take.
56:19
SPEAKER_03: Um, okay, well, here ends your this and that.
56:23
SPEAKER_02: I've got a random thought for you.
56:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I knew you were gonna go here.
56:28
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
56:29
SPEAKER_02: I would like to know which animal has no vocal cords.
56:34
SPEAKER_02: Their brains are tick tocking for anybody.
56:36
SPEAKER_03: Why do I immediately want to go koala?
56:41
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
56:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm going like lizard or something.
56:45
SPEAKER_01: Gecko.
56:46
SPEAKER_02: They're reptiles.
56:47
SPEAKER_02: I was gonna say that's not a couple.
56:48
SPEAKER_02: Oh, sorry.
56:49
SPEAKER_02: Maybe I should have Oh, okay.
56:50
SPEAKER_02: Okay, let me rephrase this.
56:52
SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
56:52
SPEAKER_02: Which mammal has no vocal cords?
56:55
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, I asked the question a lot.
56:57
SPEAKER_02: Would you like a clue?
56:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, go on.
57:00
SPEAKER_02: I've seen a lot of them this year.
57:03
SPEAKER_02: They're not native to this country.
57:06
SPEAKER_01: You went on Safari though, didn't you?
57:08
SPEAKER_02: I have been on Safari.
57:09
SPEAKER_02: There we go.
57:09
SPEAKER_02: We're one step closer.
57:10
SPEAKER_02: They are native to Africa.
57:13
SPEAKER_01: The African.
57:15
SPEAKER_02: Yes, correct! Ding ding ding! Well done.
57:18
SPEAKER_01: How did you get that?
57:20
SPEAKER_02: Think about it.
57:20
SPEAKER_02: And I actually when I found out, I was like, oh, of course.
57:23
SPEAKER_03: I was thinking because zebras make a noise, elephants make a noise.
57:26
SPEAKER_03: I was going through things that Charlie's seen.
57:28
SPEAKER_03: Lions, they all So giraffes, they don't make a noise at all.
57:31
SPEAKER_02: No.
57:32
SPEAKER_02: Isn't that interesting?
57:32
SPEAKER_02: They have no vocal cords.
57:36
SPEAKER_02: I really wish everyone's this would be great if you were videoed because you look so like wow, bewildered.
57:40
SPEAKER_03: Speaking of giraffes, where do you think a giraffe would tie a tie?
57:44
SPEAKER_03: Top of the neck?
57:45
SPEAKER_03: Bottom of the neck?
57:46
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's a good question.
57:50
SPEAKER_02: Not quite halfway down, I think just a lit a little lower.
57:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, maybe like three quarters of the way down.
57:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
57:58
SPEAKER_01: Depends on the occasion.
58:01
SPEAKER_03: Is he wearing a cravat?
58:04
SPEAKER_02: Where would you put a put a pocket square?
58:07
SPEAKER_03: Um, my it's not really a random thought, but it's something I wanted to talk about.
58:12
SPEAKER_03: And people can yell at me for it.
58:14
SPEAKER_03: But men dating above their station, and I see it all the time.
58:18
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
58:19
SPEAKER_03: People go like couples that aren't matched in the way that they're going out with like absolutely phenomenal women, yeah, and the men literally are essentially trolls.
58:34
SPEAKER_03: There's there's no brain.
58:35
SPEAKER_02: There's a troll in the dungeon, yeah.
58:37
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, but there's no brain, they haven't got ambition.
58:42
SPEAKER_03: It's it absolutely kills my soul, and there's no intelligence, and they want to sit in their rooms and game, and they just want their girlfriends to bring them home takeaway, and they don't have social lives and this what is going on?
58:56
SPEAKER_03: Or on the other side of it, you see a strong four on a night out, and he goes, Oh yeah, I want to get with her, and she's easily a 15 out of 10.
59:06
SPEAKER_03: And Romesh, what's his face spoke about this?
59:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
59:09
SPEAKER_02: What a guy.
59:10
SPEAKER_03: He's like, when his friends go, Oh, you know, if I wasn't married, he goes, If you weren't married, you'd be dead or alone.
59:18
SPEAKER_03: Like, just remember yourself.
59:20
SPEAKER_03: None of these women would date you.
59:22
SPEAKER_03: And it's happened to me in the past, some of my male friends, and they're like, Oh yeah, she was flirting with you, aren't we?
59:27
SPEAKER_03: No, she was just being nice.
59:29
SPEAKER_03: Have you seen her?
59:30
SPEAKER_03: Have you seen yourself?
59:31
SPEAKER_03: It really fucks me off.
59:32
SPEAKER_02: There's nothing worse as well.
59:34
SPEAKER_02: When you're a friendly human being.
59:36
SPEAKER_03: I know.
59:36
SPEAKER_03: I get accused of flirting all the time.
59:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it really irritates me.
59:39
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, no, no, I'm just friendly, but I can also be really unfriendly as well if you like.
59:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
59:43
SPEAKER_03: I bark, I bite, kill it.
59:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
59:47
SPEAKER_03: Like that little chihuahua that's going viral at the moment has a little sign that says, not brownly, chihuahua.
59:52
SPEAKER_03: A chihuahua, a chihuahua, a chihui, a chihuahua.
59:55
SPEAKER_03: It's one of our favorite things.
59:56
SPEAKER_03: Um, but it really fucks me off.
59:58
SPEAKER_03: Thoughts on that?
1:00:00
SPEAKER_03: Why are men so intense?
1:00:03
SPEAKER_03: Why do they think that they can get any woman they want?
1:00:07
SPEAKER_01: Uh that's a lot on me right now.
1:00:09
SPEAKER_01: Um, I don't know where to start.
1:00:12
SPEAKER_03: There's just I don't really see that though.
1:00:15
SPEAKER_03: The entitlement.
1:00:15
SPEAKER_01: You probably see that I don't.
1:00:17
SPEAKER_01: I see.
1:00:18
SPEAKER_03: Do you not get it with your male friends?
1:00:20
SPEAKER_03: Like, I see it so all the time with like groups of men on nights out or like my male friends, and they're like, oh yeah, I'm like, you've got fucking no chance, mate.
1:00:27
SPEAKER_01: They probably do, but they don't act on it.
1:00:29
SPEAKER_02: They're just giving it the big one.
1:00:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's it.
1:00:31
SPEAKER_02: Giving it the big one.
1:00:33
SPEAKER_01: Because I would say go over then, and they weren't Yeah.
1:00:35
SPEAKER_02: Too chicken shit.
1:00:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I do think um if a woman like there's a difference between guys giving it giving it the big one and guys actually dating those girls.
1:00:47
SPEAKER_02: Because the to the to all the women who would who are dating mediocre white men, yeah, other men are available.
1:00:53
SPEAKER_02: The rat from flushed away.
1:00:55
SPEAKER_02: People that are below your station.
1:00:57
SPEAKER_02: I would be having a little word with yourself and being like, what am I what am I doing here?
1:01:01
SPEAKER_02: Because I do think, and there is someone that I have in the back of my mind here, and I can't say too much to reveal their identity, but I will tell you both afterwards.
1:01:09
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, listeners, there is someone who I know who is dating significantly below her station, and it's uh like alarmingly so.
1:01:20
SPEAKER_02: And I think what's really sad for me when I think about it is I think her confidence is so low that she thinks she can't find anyone who probably is matched with her, yeah.
1:01:33
SPEAKER_02: So she's gone for someone who playing it safe, yeah, who adores her, and he is a nice bloke, I will say that.
1:01:39
SPEAKER_02: However, when I explain who this is afterwards, you will agree with me, and it's still to this day.
1:01:45
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I can't understand why you're together.
1:01:49
SPEAKER_02: So I think there's maybe a bit of a girls, check yourself, you're fantastic.
1:01:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, better to be single and doing you than parenting a man who is not for you, yeah.
1:02:06
SPEAKER_02: Girl power and all that jazz.
1:02:08
SPEAKER_03: If you literally have to go upstairs and go off the PlayStation now, it's time to go to bed.
1:02:14
SPEAKER_02: No.
1:02:15
SPEAKER_01: During COVID, I PlayStation a lot.
1:02:18
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
1:02:18
SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say, yeah.
1:02:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I used to play in the PlayStation when I was younger with my brother.
1:02:22
SPEAKER_01: It kept us like it's how you communicate with people.
1:02:24
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:02:24
SPEAKER_02: Oh, so it wasn't- I wasn't communicating with anyone.
1:02:26
SPEAKER_02: This is my I'm not speaking to anyone, I'm playing Spyrogating.
1:02:28
SPEAKER_02: You guys are both Spyro Crash Bandicoot.
1:02:30
SPEAKER_01: We were very social.
1:02:31
SPEAKER_01: That was unreal.
1:02:31
SPEAKER_02: Me and my brother used to play loads when we're younger though.
1:02:33
SPEAKER_02: He had PlayStation.
1:02:33
SPEAKER_02: Obviously, we grew up RF.
1:02:34
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, when I was a kid, yeah, yeah.
1:02:36
SPEAKER_02: But I didn't movie, there's nothing to do.
1:02:37
SPEAKER_02: So I redownloaded Crash Bandicoot and Spyro the Dragon.
1:02:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Crash Bandicoot's.
1:02:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was unreal.
1:02:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's you get to ride the pig, the hoogga-hooger.
1:02:44
SPEAKER_02: You know the little booger-booger man.
1:02:45
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
1:02:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:02:47
SPEAKER_02: But you know, I the whole gaming thing, nah, I'm right for that.
1:02:51
SPEAKER_02: That's just me, everyone's different, but you nah, that's an itch for me.
1:02:55
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
1:02:55
SPEAKER_03: Well, have you got nothing to add to that with uh the men segment?
1:02:59
SPEAKER_02: If every woman had the confidence of a mediocre white, the world would be a better place, let me tell you.
1:03:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she does just want comfort in that scenario, doesn't she?
1:03:07
SPEAKER_01: Like it's like a comfort dressing gown.
1:03:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:03:09
SPEAKER_01: Like no other woman's gonna go, can I try that on?
1:03:11
SPEAKER_02: No, like no one else is trying on my fake tan dress and I sexy.
1:03:14
SPEAKER_03: No, you'd be surprised how many women go, don't look at my man.
1:03:17
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, no one wants your man.
1:03:20
SPEAKER_03: Literally, no one has looked at him and gone, I'm gonna ride that, I'm gonna climb it like a tree.
1:03:25
SPEAKER_03: Chill the fuck out.
1:03:27
SPEAKER_01: Uh no.
1:03:28
SPEAKER_01: I'm starting to think you've got really high standards.
1:03:30
SPEAKER_03: So you know what?
1:03:31
SPEAKER_03: I'm not rising to this shit.
1:03:33
SPEAKER_03: I'm literally not.
1:03:34
SPEAKER_03: On that happy little note, should we fuck off for the week?
1:03:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeehaw, let's go.
1:03:41
SPEAKER_03: Um, and until next week, until next Friday.
1:03:44
SPEAKER_03: Friday, stay toxic.