Latest / Sober Talk SA / Sober Talk SA - Alan
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to Sober Talk. I'm Dennis and I've lived
- 0:03experience of alcohol. If you or anyone you know is
- 0:06struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
- 0:101300 double 22222 or check out their website on aa.org dot AU.
- 0:19I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
- 0:21Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
- 0:24fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength
- 0:27and hope with each other. They must solve their come
- 0:30problems and help others to recover from alcoholism.
- 0:34The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop
- 0:37drinking. There are no Jews at fees for a
- 0:39membership. We are self support through our
- 0:41own contributions, is not allied with any second nomination
- 0:46politics, organization or institution, does not wish to
- 0:50engage in any controversy, neither endorses or oppose any
- 0:54causes. Our primary purpose is stay soap
- 0:57and help other Alcoholics achieve sobriety.
- 1:00My name's Alan, alcoholic, and I started drinking the age of 13.
- 1:05I was thinking it for my mum and dad, age of 15.
- 1:10I left school, went to the racing game and thinking Oh
- 1:18yeah, I'm a man now, I can do it or what now?
- 1:22I started blinking my first drink on the car.
- 1:24My first drink was the vodka strike and the playgrounds at
- 1:28the pub in Balaclava, and because of my drinking I lost
- 1:33that job. Then I left and joined up with
- 1:37the circus and that was heaven because I worked harder, drank
- 1:43harder, fought harder and got locked up because of it.
- 1:48I didn't know it was to do that for 18 years in and out of
- 1:52relationships which find out I'm not toying up with AI were work
- 1:58relationships. Haven't you started since years
- 2:01I've had children and now so I've done more time and jogging
- 2:05than when drinking. I got sober in the 1st of
- 2:11November 93 for the first time and I was tired again.
- 2:17A smart when I was dating and all that in meetings that when
- 2:22she's gone through the horrors one person got kept my interest
- 2:27in the fellowship and that was the light Queenie or the older
- 2:32members would remember that where that was Judas those, he
- 2:36said to me, well they believe the press around the kids to
- 2:39cover house and that's what kept me covered.
- 2:43But I'm. I did, but I decided so later on
- 2:49that I was going to be a workaholic instead of recovering
- 2:53alcoholic. Oh, I picked up and in amongst
- 3:00all that, I lost my mum, the cancer, and just took off the
- 3:10old me. Come back quick, sweat.
- 3:13No, didn't drink the light stuff or anything like that.
- 3:16I went straight to the any stuff that I knew I could give him
- 3:19reaction files and Kim kings later, I was busted up and I
- 3:29sent him, my wife, my wife back to then That's I have to go
- 3:33back. And he'd send back bloody time.
- 3:39I went back. I went back to the Toronto
- 3:44beginners, all right and because I knew that group, I knew that
- 3:48person, one of the people that was there and saying people
- 3:55saying city, how far what you do it for, they just turn around
- 3:58and welcomed me back and that was it.
- 4:03I had different attitude on my life and what alcohol did to me.
- 4:10I had a sponsor straight away well people search and sponsor
- 4:17was just caused my friend until I got on spot proper sponsor and
- 4:23Home group and that my groups teaching teaching teaching
- 4:29galley and but one thing I was told and I'm a firm believer
- 4:38don't leave the group that you go chief and applied another
- 4:43homework. Stay with that group until it
- 4:47comes to you and you'll know because you'll light up like a
- 4:52Christmas tree. And the one thing I also hated,
- 4:56hated back then was he was saying that people on
- 5:00medications should get off their medications.
- 5:03And I was situated on the there were meetings.
- 5:07So to me that they're not doctors because I was.
- 5:11I've been on medication and they're not doctors.
- 5:14Yeah, just a bunch of thigh and a butt because I would normally
- 5:20swear on that. But yeah, I'd arrived.
- 5:24I've done different meetings all over the place.
- 5:29We got a firm believer, like the young members used to say,
- 5:33you've got any lengths to get a drink, you've got any lengths to
- 5:38stay. So we're not.
- 5:39Yes. I've ridden a push bike in the
- 5:41rain. I've ridden it in 45° just to
- 5:44get to a meeting. I've got buses, everything, just
- 5:49get to a meeting. I've gone through nasty the wars
- 5:55sober. I've lost more family members, I
- 6:04haven't picked up a drink, I've done the right thing.
- 6:08I've ran with sponsor, I've bumped into a A members and
- 6:15that's just the semi like I live where I am now.
- 6:19I actually live down the road from a pub and my mother knows
- 6:24something in fellowship and I take her all just go to the pub
- 6:27from Canyon mill and she'll mate and she'll always say, do you
- 6:32feel like she asked me do you really feel up to it?
- 6:35And if I'd like I'm another. She says, OK, we'll go.
- 6:39We'll go on the particle builds or we'll go to pass the pass or
- 6:41someone else like that, just to keep me away from temptation and
- 6:48without the fellowship I wouldn't hear of.
- 6:53Because what I said in the beginning was about my children.
- 6:57Well, I have all my children. I thought I only had two or
- 7:02three children where I have a lot more.
- 7:07I'd have grandchildren. I have great grandchildren.
- 7:11I've just found out that I'm going to be a great, great
- 7:14granddad. And I and I was in 63.
- 7:18But I've got all these things in my life that happened because I
- 7:24got off my butt and went to a meeting.
- 7:28Yes, I went to rehab center the first time.
- 7:31The second time I I did it all way home because I had the
- 7:36knowledge from the rehab earlier meetings what to do.
- 7:44The second time around I hung around with the oldest Wise Up
- 7:48members and that's what's got me through.
- 7:53And I'm I'm coming up there next month.
- 7:57I'm coming up 16 years instead of 30 odd years.
- 8:03But I don't. I don't care about.
- 8:06Yes, it was a learning curve for me.
- 8:10But this is my life. Everything I have today is
- 8:15because of a a like my children and my grandchildren come back
- 8:20to my life. There were award or needs that I
- 8:24wanted in my life. They were a blessing from the
- 8:27God of my understanding, Eastern and lagers, he said.
- 8:33You've done the hard work. Yes.
- 8:36A reward. And he don't worry one big time
- 8:41that I'm on the phone all the time with my daughter and what's
- 8:44on all my grandkids. I've found out that I have 2468
- 8:51sons in the fellowship. I have seven daughters in the
- 8:55fellowship. I have granddaughters in the
- 8:58fellowship. And to me, that's the best thing
- 9:03ever, because they're begging on these doors of AI in 1935 South
- 9:10everywhere we can start getting sober, probably eye disease with
- 9:15my grandchildren caught our cancer and I would have it.
- 9:22We never want to be around just to help each other.
- 9:27I did different reasons, different reasons.
- 9:30I didn't. I've done big books, studies,
- 9:34Dennis entire. I've got ID meetings, I've gone
- 9:39on face, I've gone on 12 step calls.
- 9:44I'm volunteering in the for the suburbs and for another place.
- 9:51It's all because I walk in the doors.
- 9:55I put my bum on the seat and the old tower was ringing over this.
- 10:01I put took the corn water out of my ear holes and shoved it in my
- 10:05mouth and listened. Yes, I heard my story.
- 10:11I've actually heard my story again 3 weeks ago, and that was
- 10:16from a 17 year old girl who turned around and told my life
- 10:19story, what it was like for me the first time I come in.
- 10:23Because she's gone through it now and I'm glad to say she's
- 10:26got two years up and we worked out with my family that we have
- 10:32just over 55 years of sobriety in my family alone.
- 10:37Then that doesn't say that this fellowship works in what?
- 10:42In strange different ways for everybody?
- 10:44Then something start not working right in your life.
- 10:53I did what I did with my 4th and like this I did didn't trust an
- 10:59A member because they might go out drink and blab it up.
- 11:02Someone. I went to a church to the church
- 11:06I went to. I was going to him, saw the
- 11:08preacher there. I said to him I need to talk to
- 11:11you privately. And he went, yeah.
- 11:14And I said it's look like it's a confession because I know by law
- 11:19they can't say nothing. We would start at the
- 11:21confession. And I did my fork like this with
- 11:23them. I was still wondering what the
- 11:26emptiness was inside my heart. And that's where what children
- 11:33come in. Because my hole in my heart
- 11:36isn't there anymore. My heart.
- 11:38My head, yes. And at 1:00, because I what I am
- 11:45done was show me the way for a better life.
- 11:52And I've been able to pass it on to my kids, my grandkids, other
- 11:59people out there that want it and it works well.
- 12:04I don't just do it to people that are.
- 12:08Got a drinking problem. I talk to people about normal
- 12:12day problems. That is where I'm lucky because
- 12:16my problem allows me to do it that way.
- 12:21And seeing people getting better just by mentioning a few things
- 12:26from the group from A A. It's great.
- 12:31Obviously people struggling on the streets and actor runs come
- 12:38up to me. 6-7 months later I said thanks very much.
- 12:42Two people that helped save my life.
- 12:45One died from this disease, one is now in hospital as a wet
- 12:52brain and these guys shag my rifle and unfortunate they
- 13:00couldn't take a leaf out of my book and come to AA with me and
- 13:06have a good life like I've got. There's there's nothing in this
- 13:10world that can put yourself in a lot of stress and end games.
- 13:21Then you then what you can do to yourself.
- 13:25We as always talk. We are our worst enemies because
- 13:30we let things get to us while we're all up.
- 13:33Then we explode. And the ones that get hurt the
- 13:39most when we explode are our families, our partners, right?
- 13:46And in my case, it was my parents.
- 13:50Right now I'm lucky I got this. I got to show my parents that
- 13:55ploughed. I was sober, I was clean and
- 14:01tidy. I was eating well, rope over my
- 14:04head. And that was all I can do.
- 14:09And I like I said sorry to them that many times.
- 14:11And my parents started saying with stop saying sorry, we can
- 14:15see you sorry because you're not drinking.
- 14:19When kids say the same thing. Dance.
- 14:21Stop stressing. You're right.
- 14:23You're not drinking. You're in a safe place in your
- 14:25head. Everything by your body.
- 14:28That's all a A, I'm done at the 3rd and you're the big Bo bonus.
- 14:36I've actually gone back to school at the age, remember at
- 14:38the school at the age of 63, I've got done my year 12.
- 14:44I've done 18 months of university at my age and I'm on
- 14:52taking a break at the moment because I want to get back to my
- 14:56my community and volunteer at Star Wars and the other places.
- 15:01I did because I can't, because if I was drinking I wouldn't
- 15:05been able to do all that. No, I'm not drinking.
- 15:09That's where my God and my understanding at the moment has
- 15:12put me and that's where I'm staying until he's ready to move
- 15:16me on to something else. So that's what I said.
- 15:21AI works if he let it. But has my 7 year old grandson
- 15:28said to me yesterday, Papa AI works in everybody's life that
- 15:37are recovering. All they got to do is shut up
- 15:43and listen to the older members, and the older members do the
- 15:49same. They go shut up and listen to
- 15:51the younger members that come in because we're teaching the young
- 15:58ones how to live without picking up a drink.
- 16:02They're telling us what it's like if we go back out there and
- 16:06drink again. Like I've been told by my
- 16:09daughter, if I go pick up a drink and go back out, my
- 16:13children will be burying me in six months because I don't know
- 16:17what's damage to my body and my I don't want that.
- 16:24I will see all my grandkids get up and whatever they decide to
- 16:29figure out. The uni graduate from uni.
- 16:32I've had the purpose of walking my daughter and my granddaughter
- 16:36and my guy's son down the aisle to get married.
- 16:42I would bore my eyes out because I wouldn't have seen if I'd
- 16:49still been drinking. No, that's what I mean.
- 16:52Everything been in AI been right, other members, all good.
- 16:59I'd still ride a bike. I don't do as many meetings as
- 17:07possible. Well, I've got what I've got.
- 17:10Sober talk, I fall back on and I listen to that every night.
- 17:15I listen to at least two or three speakers at night and by
- 17:21listening to them it comes everything in my head down and I
- 17:28can get a good night's sleep. It's it's too bad that I need to
- 17:33talk to somebody and it's not too late.
- 17:35I'll ring what sponsor if I don't ring what sponsored?
- 17:38Once or twice every couple of days he's ringing me like it's
- 17:43all right and that's the way it is.
- 17:49We've already packed and done. That's what daughters of school
- 17:51statue played enough money in drinking to qualify for the
- 17:59special Brooklyn University the English guards are in.
- 18:02I said what do you mean? And then she goes Alcoholics and
- 18:05normal. That's what I've seen in you is
- 18:08the world's best university ever because it teaches you how to
- 18:16stay off the the birds and lives on normal family life.
- 18:25And there's a lot of people in what in my life like some were
- 18:30going that and help me got the likes of Gordy.
- 18:34He used to pick me up every night and take me to a meeting.
- 18:37I like Darwin, Paul, little roofs, which everybody went on
- 18:42down by her. She turned around and took me to
- 18:46what you really mean. And it turned out to be in
- 18:49forest go and she turned around and said to me, the leg guards,
- 18:55the alcohol, you're the little boy, she the leg guards are
- 18:58alcohol. Everything in the air and every
- 19:01time you see it break off that's us breaking away from our
- 19:07disease. Putting it at rest so we can
- 19:11keep going forward. Not too fast not too slow at a
- 19:17steady pace. Because if we go fast we're
- 19:21going to miss out there. If we've got to go slow we're
- 19:25definitely angling hear what we've got to hear.
- 19:29So but but the parade, I wouldn't be here.
- 19:32I wouldn't have what I've got. So that's why we're always
- 19:36grateful for every remember, I'd say why you I still don't like
- 19:44people. Some people in AI.
- 19:47And just to show you I had one person that come and rub me up
- 19:51the wrong way by saying the wrong thing about my new
- 19:53girlfriend. I told the wreck I was over
- 19:56punching the verse. He kept those.
- 19:58Why he didn't? You don't know why, because I'm
- 20:04still old school. But when I when he got up.
- 20:08I apologize and he apologized. I was just shocked because his
- 20:16part of the children said I've never heard a report say
- 20:19anything like that to me. Others didn't show him.
- 20:25Sometimes people have to learn respect the hard way, and that's
- 20:32what happened to me. I had to learn respect the hard
- 20:35way. Yes, I was.
- 20:36I got here by my dad, but my heart, my heart way when I got
- 20:41sober was listening to the newcomers, listening to my
- 20:46family that are suffering from this disease.
- 20:53And yes, I've lost two children to this disease.
- 20:58I lost some daughter-in-law to covert in England, but I still
- 21:03didn't pick up. A drink goes to me that's not
- 21:08going to bring anyone I've lost back.
- 21:14It's just going to make me sick. And so I just keep going one
- 21:19foot in front of the other, straight ahead and and when I'm
- 21:24doing that I don't know why I do it or how I do it.
- 21:29Well I always remember for commence in the sand and that
- 21:36comes in my head and away I go. And now I talked out at 10 there
- 21:43are only one set of footprints and they're not mine because I
- 21:50can't handle that stuff at the time.
- 21:52So I know my higher power was carrying me to where I have to
- 21:57go to be safe and doesn't. My son-in-law said to me he goes
- 22:03if it was a parade I we'd all we'd all be dead we wouldn't
- 22:09have what we got. When I turned around and said to
- 22:12him that's a little passage and I can't remember what what it's
- 22:16under Dennis there's something about that award doctors award
- 22:22and I was presented to AI you know the one I'm on about.
- 22:27Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- 22:30And look and I read that and the I hate to receive something like
- 22:39that have been recognised but saving people's lives would
- 22:45doctors can't from our disease We are we are in the best
- 22:53university of all because one's always learning new things from
- 23:01our past so we can fix. And I saw my wife and I'm still
- 23:07doing it. I got family in my life.
- 23:10I got one brother I went up to sing and making minutes to him
- 23:16he told me to go to hell. I turned to him.
- 23:20That's all right then. Look, you got your opinion.
- 23:22I've made the effort but see you later.
- 23:24Bye bye. I'm gone and that's what why.
- 23:28Program says If they don't accept it.
- 23:33Thinking is he made the effort just get on with life.
- 23:41I do. I live really.
- 23:42I live life one day at a time. Flight flight program.
- 23:48Sometimes it's 30 seconds, sometimes it's 3 hundredths of a
- 23:51second many second. I live my life but I'm still
- 23:56living it. I'm not drinking and I'm
- 24:00enjoying life. We have local meetings for the
- 24:04full week in the local area. Monday is Gala meeting at 8:00,
- 24:09Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00, Wednesday is Elizabeth E at
- 24:158:00, Thursday is 2 Wells at 8:00, and Friday is Salisbury at
- 24:218:00. There's a meeting at Devron Park
- 24:24at 12:00, and on Sunday there's a meeting in Salisbury at 7:00
- 24:28and many of the meetings in the area.
- 24:33For details of your local meetings, please phone 1300
- 24:38double 22222. And once again, if anyone you
- 24:42know is struggling with alcohol issues, please call Alcoholics
- 24:45Anonymous on 1300 double 22222, the website isaasa.org dot AU.