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30. What If Luck Is Something You Practice? · HEY, AMBITIOUS

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Frequency Led Podcast.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I've been creating lots of different shifts in the way that I do business and serve my clients.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really been shifting from this traditional coaching style and into more of the I don't even know what the style that might be, but I'm really realizing more and more that there is so much potential within us.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And when we allow ourselves to access our state of creativity, curiosity, exploration, fun, playfulness, the more we access that state, the more we feel expanding from inside out, the more we can tap into different ideas and possibilities.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And this is really about embodying the lifestyle, which is living from possibilities, from potential.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And the possibilities are always there, they always exist.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: And this is just our state of being, our identity, depending on what identity we carry, we either see possibilities or limitations.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: So what I want for you to kind of ponder on today, to start with, there is more in this podcast.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: What if possibility is not something you need to create from nothing?
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: What if you need to become better at seeing it?
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what we will be doing in my new, I won't even call it program, but my new experience.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: We're actually going to be focusing on bringing you, the essence of you, into life through different explorative experiences, um, through invoking curiosity within you and also connecting to playfulness and fun.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: So in the more you're in that state, the more of you starts to come out, and then we are going to anchor the more of you so that you will expand to your next level from being more of who you are.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to be putting a link to this experience in the show notes.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: So check it out.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: And when you will be listening to this podcast, which is going to be next Wednesday, that will be the day that you will still have access to the founder's price plus the possibility experiments bonus that's going to be coming out in September.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And this experience, the creators' room, will be officially open in October.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And now it's just open for 10 amazing people who I am inviting into this experience and enrolling you in, essentially.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why in September you will have what I call possibility experiments coming into your mailbox, email box, email inbox, I guess.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And you will already start rewiring your mind for seeing and observing more possibilities in your life.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: And that's gonna be beautiful to expand to your next level from the field of possibilities and potential.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm just so excited about this experience.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: You can probably hear it in my voice, and I might be like talking about it in all different directions, but that's okay.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll be talking about this experience more and more, and you can also check out the page and make your own decision for yourself.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been um studying different um psych like different um studies and research and people in psychology.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I love studying psychology and especially understanding this idea of how creativity, playfulness, and fun really can help us, and especially in the world of AI, where we can have access to information at any moment, our willingness to be more open-minded and our willingness to tap into our own creative creative resources, that's what's gonna be our greatest advantage.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm realizing for myself that I am pretty creative, but I feel like as a child I was suppressing my creativity and uh showing up the way I perhaps wanted because um you know of my own upbringing and all of that.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: I might talk about it some other time, but today I actually wanted to talk to you about this amazing and fun topic that's always been in my interest, and I I feel like you're gonna like it.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: So let me know.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I would love your feedback.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Send me email or uh find me on Instagram, FrequencyLed, or my email, jewelslamcoaching at gmail.com, and just let me know how you like this episode and what you are going to do differently because of this episode.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And you already saw the title, What if luck is something you practice?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: What if the difference between a lucky woman and unlucky woman is not actually luck at all?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: What if it's what the what if it's what she expects to find?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: I came across this fascinating research by psychologist Richard Wiseman, and immediately I thought that's the creator's room.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is exactly what I've been talking about when I say that there is a difference between creating from probability and creating from possibility.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because Wiseman spent about 10 years studying hundreds of people who considered themselves either unusually lucky or unusually unlucky.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I was really that person, I considered myself very unlucky for many years.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, what he discovered that was actually fascinating, the people who considered themselves lucky weren't simply sitting at home waiting for magical things to fall from the sky.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: They thought differently, they behaved differently, they noticed differently.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And one of his experiments illustrates this beautifully.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: So imagine this: you have your newspaper, you have your assignment, count the photographs.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And the people who considered themselves unlucky diligently studied counting.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: One, two, three.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that was definitely me.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was so disciplined and so rigid, I would be following through the assignment very, very well.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: So essentially, yeah, very focused.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: But on the second page, Wiseman had placed an enormous message that essentially said, stop counting.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: There are 43 photographs in this newspaper.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: It took up half the page.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And many of the people who considered themselves unlucky missed it.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: The lucky people were much more likely to notice it.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And Wiseman even placed another lunch message in the newspaper offering a cash reward to anyone who noticed it.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Again, many of the unlucky participants missed the opportunity because they were so focused on completing the task.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I love this experiment.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because how many ambitious women are walking around metaphorically counting photographs?
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: We have an assignment, grow the business, find the client, make the money, fix the leadership, figure out the strategy, get the answer, make the right decision, and then I'll play.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'll let myself take vacation, right?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And especially when we feel uncertainty, our attention can become very narrow.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Especially when our mind perceives uncertainty as this huge gap, right?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And the mind starts filling it in.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: And physiologically, it narrows down our attention.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we become very much focused on how.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like tell me how, tell me what to do, tell me how to make sure this works.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: And we become so busy looking for the answer we already decided we need, that we may not we may not notice what else is in the room.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: That is where possibility gets really interesting.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because possibility requires a different relationship with the unknown.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: It requires enough openness to say what else might be here.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: What haven't I considered?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: What if there is another way?
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: What if something could happen that I cannot predict from where I am standing today?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: That is a completely different way of creating, don't you think?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: And this is one of the reasons I created the creator's room.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: The creator's room is not about pretending problems don't exist.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it's certainly not about sitting on your couch saying everything is going to work out and I'm going to wait for the stars to align or for the full moon, half moon, or whatever it is.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And waiting, yeah, essentially for the universe to ring your doorbell.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the universe does not work like Amazon.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: And if it did, that would be just a predictable case scenario because Amazon is predictable nowadays, and what's predictable is limited.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, but really it's about becoming a different observer.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because what Wiseman discovered across his research was that people who considered themselves lucky tended to do four things differently.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: They were more likely to create and notice opportunities, they listened to their intuition, they expected good things to happen, and when something did not work out, they were more likely to respond in ways that allowed them to keep moving rather than deciding.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: See, nothing ever works for me.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Opportunity, intuition, expectation, resilience.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Those are qualities of a creator.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: And this is particularly important for ambitious women because many of us have become incredibly successful at being doers, fixers, meeting someone else's expectations.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: We know how to work, we know how to perform, we know how to push through, we know how to figure things out.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And those abilities may have gotten us very far, but eventually you arrive at a vision that cannot be created simply by doing more of what you've already done.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: That is a point where your vision asks you to enter uncertainty.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know exactly how the next client arrives.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know who you're going to meet.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know which conversation will change something.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know which idea will become the idea.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know which invitation will open another door.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where the old protective identities can come rushing in to rescue you.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: The controller says, tell me how.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: The perfectionist says, don't move until you know you will get it right.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: The door says, work harder.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: The people pleaser says, What will everyone think?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: And suddenly your attention becomes narrower and narrower.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the focus becomes on you rescuing yourself and making yourself a self-improvement project.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of focusing on the expansion, possibility, potential.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: So essentially, you're counting photographs again.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: And meanwhile, possibility could be sitting on page two in enormous letters.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is why one of the practices inside the creator's room is experimentation.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Not because we're being frivolous, because experimentation changes the question.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of how do I guarantee this works?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: We ask, what could I try?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of what does my past tell me is probably going to happen?
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: We ask, what else could be possible?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of what if this fails, we become curious enough to also ask, what if this works?
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: What if it works better than I imagined?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: What if the person I need to meet is already one conversation away?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: What if there is an opportunity here I haven't noticed yet?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: And notice what happens in your body when you ask these questions.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Not because the question guarantees an outcome, it doesn't.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: But it changes how you enter the room.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Curiosity opens exploration.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Exploration creates movement.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Movement gives you new information.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: New information creates new choices.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: And suddenly you have access to possibilities that weren't available when you were standing still trying to predict the future from your past.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Your future does not live in your past.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: But your protective identity likes to believe so.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is where expectation becomes incredibly interesting.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Wiseman found that lucky people tended to expect their interactions and experiences to work out well.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Those expectations influenced how they behaved and how persistent they were.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: So expectation is not simply I believe something wonderful will happen.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, something wonderful must happen.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: It can be much more practical than that.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Expectation changes how you participate.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine walking into a networking event thinking no one here is really going to be interested in what I do.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's definitely me, but I'm shifting.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Well, your body contracts, you may talk to the people you already know, you may be leaving early, and maybe somebody interesting similar smiles at you from across the room and you don't walk over.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now imagine entering the exact same room with an experiment.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: What if there is one fascinating connection waiting for me here?
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Same room, different observer.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now maybe you look around, maybe you start a conversation, maybe you ask a different question, maybe you stay 10 minutes longer, and perhaps nothing extraordinary happens.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's part of experimentation too.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: But perhaps that conversation leads to another conversation, which leads to an invitation, which leads to a client, which leads to something you could never predicted when you walked through the door.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly how I created one of my businesses.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: I was um doing wellness, yoga, strength training, and nutrition, and I was only doing it privately, so just one-on-one work, and I used to have an office, and this is where I met my clients.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: In the beginning of my career, one of my clients invited me to a yoga class by one of her friends who did that yoga class at her house.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I went to see her, and then I stayed a little bit longer and we had a great conversation.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then she asked me to help her with one of her body aches, and I helped her and she started to feel better.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it happened to me that she basically knew like half of the town, and because she was already in the wellness industry herself, she knew exactly the clients that I was working with.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: I was basically like just opened my doors and you know, leased the space and had a couple of clients that I was working with, and then she started sending me clients.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I had no advertisement, I had no presence on social media, but I had her, and she was my greatest representation of the law of the harvest, which basically states when you plant a seed in the fertile soil, before you don't see it growing, but then it grows and then it expands, and instead of the one seed of apple, we grow a whole tree of apples, and that's exactly how it happened for me and my wellness business.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it was thriving without me necessarily doing all the work, but I showed up for the work that I actually love doing.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: So this is just an example that comes to mind, and I would love for you to reflect it, to reflect on your examples.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you have at least one that happened, and you probably don't even remember because you're so focused that I still have to do more.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: So let me just get back on track here.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I like to have notes because I can get off track very easily.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: So, um, yeah, so from the outside, going back to the other experiment, something might eventually look at you and say, She is so lucky.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: But perhaps you also became available to luck.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that is what I want us to experiment with inside the creator's room.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: We are practicing becoming women who are available to possibility, women who can stand in uncertainty without immediately filling the empty space with an old prediction.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Women who can notice when the mind says, this probably won't work.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of fighting that thought, simply say, interesting, and what else could be possible?
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: We use curiosity, we use creativity, we use play, we use experiments, we work with identity and the nervous system in the creator's room.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because we are not trying to force ourselves into positive thinking, we are expanding our capacity to stay open long enough to discover something new.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps that's one of the biggest shifts from being the door of your life to becoming the creator of your life.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: The doer asks, What am I supposed to do?
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: The creator asks, what could I create from here?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: The controller asks, how do I know this will work?
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: The creator asks, what would I explore if I didn't need certainty first?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: The past says, here is what actual usually happens.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: The creator says, and what else is possible?
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to leave you with a little possibility experiment.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: For the next 24 hours, imagine you are one of Wiseman's lucky participants.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: Don't try to make anything happen.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: Don't force yourself to be positive.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Just become curious.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, what if there is something here I haven't noticed yet?
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a person, an idea, an invitation, an impulse, an opportunity, a different interpretation of something that happened, a door you dismissed because it did not look like the door you expected.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then pay attention.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because perhaps possibility has been around you all along.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've just been very busy counting photographs.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are an ambitious woman with a vision that is asking you to become more than the woman your past taught you to be, this is exactly the work we are exploring inside the creator's room.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: Not becoming someone else, not working harder, not pretending everything is wonderful, but practicing a different way of meeting the unknown, with curiosity instead of control, exploration instead of prediction, creativity instead of perfection, possibility instead of pressure.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because you don't need to know everything that's one that is on the other side of the door.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to become willing to enter the room and see what you haven't seen yet.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, when women who are like-minded get together and we have certain guidance and we play together, we can only amplify our observer who is capable of seeing possibilities where we used to see limitations.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: So your invitation is in, you are invited into the creator's room.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let's play together and expand more of who we are here meant to be, because that's the only place that you can um you can expand from and also really enjoy that expansion that you're going to create.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: So check out the link in the show notes.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: We will start in October.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: And if you do um take an advantage of a pounder's price, you'll also receive a bonus.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: So you'll be receiving possibility experiments in your email inbox in September.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, the world is gonna be completely, completely different.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: And imagine just completing your year at this expanded place of being you.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: And what else can you create in 2027?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, let's do it.