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Sober Talk SA - Elizabeth · Sober Talk SA

• 0:02
  Welcome to Sober Talk. I'm Dennis and I'm an alcoholic
• 0:06
  SOB to dear thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous.
• 0:10
  If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcohol, please
• 0:13
  call Alcoholics Anonymous on 1300 double 22222.
• 0:19
  I'll visit their website ata.org dot AU.
• 0:26
  I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
• 0:29
  Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
• 0:31
  fellowship of people who share the experience, strengthen hope
• 0:35
  with each other that they may solve their common problems, and
• 0:39
  help with us to recover from alcoholism.
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  The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop
• 0:45
  drinking and no dues of fees. Fair membership.
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  We are self supporting through our own contributions.
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  He is not alive with any sect in omination, politics,
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  organization or institution, does not wish to engage in any
• 1:00
  controversy, either endorses or oppose any causes.
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  Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other Alcoholics
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  are chief sobriety. My name's Elizabeth.
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  I'm a sober alcoholic. Sober today for the grace of
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  God. Yeah, I just my story growing up
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  as a child, always, I never felt like I fitted in.
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  Found it hard to make friends. And yeah, well, my father died
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  when I was 10. So I felt like where's this, you
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  know, where's this God And went to secondary school and yeah, I
• 1:45
  just didn't feel good. People would.
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  I went to a girls school and they said I'll be old man.
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  I'd say at least you've got one. Yeah.
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  So I just really was an angry person and I love your sport.
• 1:57
  That was the way I I've I've got peace was playing basketball and
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  sports. So bunch in in the break times.
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  I go to the gym just to be on my own shoot goals and they barred
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  me from me gym hoping I'd make friends, but it didn't work.
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  But anyway, you know, I'd be handing out cigarettes to girls
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  wanting to get friends, but they take the cigarettes.
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  And. Yeah.
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  But anyway, I was trying hard, but I just didn't know how to
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  fit in. And.
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  But once I picked up that drink, that was it.
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  I thought that I I had, they calmed me down.
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  I didn't like the taste, but actually I felt like I fitted
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  in. I initially only drank weekends
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  because in those days, yeah, children should be sending.
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  I heard I'm right. You're wrong.
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  And if I cried, I'd get a wax. So I learned how to control my
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  emotions. And yeah, so I mean, I mixed
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  with older people when I I got a part time job working at the
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  shopping centre after school, secondary school.
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  And I was underage with the first time I got drunk.
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  We went on AI work do up on top of a mountain and I went with
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  people and they're getting me drinks and I drank drops on the
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  rocks and I was up dancing on the way down.
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  You gotta go round and around the mountain and of course first
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  time ever I did and just stop and I was sick as anything.
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  I was so embarrassed and I'm hiding in the shop and I saw the
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  people and they said don't worry, that happens to us all,
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  you know. Anyway, so I didn't drink props
• 3:43
  on the rocks. So I thought that was me
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  problem. But anyway, that was my first
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  real drunk, but I was allergic to alcohol, you know, but I
• 3:50
  persevered, you know, I was like, I didn't drink at home.
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  So it's I, I was a pub drinker and I drink, I drink in the bar
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  because in the lands of women too slow and I'm paid poor.
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  And I was, you know, people in the pub, I'll talk to them and
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  they'd say drink milk before when you go to bed or drink
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  water or drink water, they line your stomach with milk.
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  And yeah, and but in the end, for 15 years is when I it
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  escalating. And, you know, I drank most days
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  and, you know, people would tell me what I did and if they were
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  laughing, I'd laugh with him. A lot of the times I didn't
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  remember what I did or said. And you know, you know, I woke
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  up in places and I looked around and thought, where am I?
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  I didn't know, I mean the places where I ended up, but all as I
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  know is, you know, I had a partner at home and all of a
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  sudden I wake up and I didn't know where I was.
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  But anyway, that was how it was and I I drank and drove and I'd,
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  that was just how it was for me. I drank, I drank beer put on the
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  way, got out the calorie counter.
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  Do you know the least soda order had mule?
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  So I drink that. They got expicy and then I ended
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  up on Pascal wine. I liked Riesling and they'll be
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  driving on the car and I'd have a cask one beside me and said
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  the lights, I'd have a look and, you know, just flip the lid and
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  have a drink and keep driving. You know, I had a hospital
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  sticker on the car and the police would pull me over a lot
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  of times and I'd get out first. I was told what to do and I
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  said, look, I'm I've got to get to work and now here's me.
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  Here's me cigar. And yeah, they never
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  breathalysed me just before I got so.
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  But anyway, you know, I, I had my car do 363 spins a couple of
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  times. I got out and I was like, hey,
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  and yeah. And I was just up in the GAR and
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  I'm gonna call again. You know, I woke up in blackout.
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  I'm at the police station trying to tell them these boys were
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  punching me up and whatever I said we can't lock you up, get
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  out of here. So I got in my car, I was that
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  drunk. And off I went and back to the
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  pub burning away. You know, I was looked after but
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  I was mad and you know, unfortunately I never ever
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  killed anyone or hurt anyone, just me car.
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  But anyway, yeah, I was just mad.
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  And you know, I'd be ringing me mum and I'd be writing down
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  things to remind myself what to say because I knew I couldn't
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  remember the next day type thing.
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  Then I'd try and read me notes to see what I said.
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  Then I couldn't read what I said anyway, you know OK.
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  But anyway, once we partner for Gee, it's quiet because normally
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  when I was talking, mum, I'm talking loud anyway, come in and
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  I'm sound asleep and it threw water over me to wake me up and
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  I and I said yes. And mum was still waiting for
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  me, you know, I said, oh look, I do.
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  I was doing shift work and I said, oh, you know, I've been
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  working hard. I'm tired, you know.
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  But anyway, mum was always there for me, you know.
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  But anyway, I had, you know, a lot of car accidents had
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  insurance company that wanted to give me an RE rating to get rid
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  of me, you know, and and yeah, so but you know, I never
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  married, didn't have kids. I took out a a cash and life
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  insurance policy to keep drinking.
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  I didn't think drinking was my problem.
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  Then I took a cash and life insurance policy took out a loan
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  to keep drinking. Just a couple of 1000 thinking
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  to get better. Two years before I got sober I I
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  was unwell and I was put into a public place rehab 2 weeks and
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  yeah I stopped drinking. I was told then I continued to
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  drink 30 I've been alcoholic came out went to one meeting or
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  after I'm king listen and the last two years I hated myself.
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  I didn't want to go on but I didn't know what I wanted to
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  leave, but I didn't want to leave.
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  And eventually, you know, I was get seeing parents that try to
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  stop drinking and I read in the in their paper bad alcoholism
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  Herald Sun and and I thought maybe an alcoholic and I rang
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  his cancer and said maybe you need to be in hospital.
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  I had an appointment with my mum's doctor.
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  I drank and drove and probably for about 7, I don't remember
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  this, but my mum said that I came in and said I can't go on.
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  She kept her phone number to Paul House, which just opened up
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  in Melbourne. It was public detox, no
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  medication. That was it week or 10 days, a
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  new way out anyway. And those days she can get a bed
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  and they drove me. My dad had fosters, my stepdad
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  block on dad 2 fosters my way in, woke up, didn't know where I
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  was. And most days it was just walk
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  down Fitzroy St. get a vitamin B injection in your bottom.
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  And that was it. And then went to a meeting on
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  the Wednesday night to Vincent's Hospital and I was asked to
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  share and I said I'm an alcoholic and sat down, nearly
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  choked and left there. And I had my last drink on
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  March, the AP 89 since then day at the time, you know, I had to,
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  you know, in those days I said, don't worry about the meetings.
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  Took me 5 years to get into the steps.
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  The big book. I I recommend as soon as you can
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  quickly get into it, the quickie well, but I've only shared my
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  story and that's how it was. I went mad several times, but I
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  I didn't pick up a drink. But I, you know, my days it was
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  get a public phone to call for help.
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  Nowadays you've got mobile phones and all this technology.
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  So you just got to find somebody to connect with, call them
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  daily, get a sponsor, do the steps.
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  And for me, it's all about helping others.
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  I'm here today because of the older members that helped me
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  that some of the died sober. I've been to people's deaths
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  that, you know, they just didn't get.
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  It was so simple. You can you can forget about it.
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  What we've got to do is just don't pick up and drink all
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  driving for me and that's all you know you can do anything
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  else. Response will say you rob a bag.
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  Just joking. You got to suffer the consul
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  rances, but it's all we ask. Do not pick up a drink you know,
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  just for today. Weeks will turn you to months,
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  months will turn you to years, a day at a time.
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  I've had a lot of times where I wanted to pick up a drink, you
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  know, but you just don't pick up the first drink.
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  He used to save a milkshake, 2 lollies, whatever.
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  You know, you won't feel like a drink.
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  You know, Jim, Molly, whatever. I mean, I was a workaholic.
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  You know, it's a good idea, but that's what I did.
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  It's, you know, I've been ungrateful that I haven't been
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  able to pick up a drink at all. A day at a time.
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  You know, I've rung up here in the middle of the night, women
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  ring me. That's how it works.
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  We understand each other. We just go to meetings, get a
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  sponsor, do the steps. I didn't do 30 meetings and 30
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  days. Doesn't matter.
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  Whatever you can do, you know, the more the better maybe.
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  But for me, you know, when I was sick, I did 60 meetings in
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  whatever days. It doesn't matter as long as you
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  get to meetings, keep in contact.
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  And I and I help others. And today at a time, I'll always
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  continue to help others. And doesn't matter where you are
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  in the world, AO is always there.
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  And you know, you know, I arrived at New Zealand, just got
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  to a public phone and rang. Where's the meeting?
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  This is where you go. Went there and hired a car for
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  two weeks and drove around the South of New Zealand, got to
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  meetings and you know, you know, I got lost heading to somewhere
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  and the car stopped by. It was the IA people because
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  I've been to meetings and they just said yeah, gave me a hug,
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  said thank you God. And off I drove.
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  And, you know, so, you know, I went to the world convention,
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  you know, 70,000 sober Alcoholics, you know, but every
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  five years, you know, and I hired a car in America, they're
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  two weeks on me own, wrong side of the road.
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  Elvis Presley's mansion, you know, he had all the money and
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  he wasn't happy. I walked in, I cried and I said
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  I'm grateful that I didn't pick up, you know, And yeah, but for
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  the gross of all. But anyway, alls I know is, you
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  know, now you got WhatsApp, you got all this technology, you
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  know, and you can have these Zoom meetings, you know.
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  So, yeah, there's always ways he can get to meetings.
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  You don't. I like face to face.
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  But you got your Zoom meetings and, you know, you got WhatsApp.
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  I mean, I was in China last month for 20 nights and, you
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  know, I went to a English speaking meeting and, you know,
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  Zoom meeting in China, you know, And, you know, all I know is,
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  yeah, you know, it's a great fellowship.
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  And I had to learn how to live and ask questions and get help.
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  And. And for me, I think I was, I was
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  grateful that I just did what I was told to do, you know, stick
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  with strength. I used to say the older members,
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  if they hang around, the newcomers, if they pick up a
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  drink, others pick up a drink. Yeah, that's what I did.
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  Yeah. I've got older members that I,
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  I, I hung around with, you know, and, you know, I couldn't even
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  make a decision. And my sponsor would gave me
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  this little whizzer button and yes or no because, you know, I
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  didn't have to make a decision. And I asked for help and she
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  gave me 3 choices and let me try and decide what I wanted to do,
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  you know, but I had to, oh you know, I just had to ask
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  questions, no questions said, you know what I mean?
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  Because we understand each other and it's, you know, how the
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  fellowship works and you know, and presently, you know,
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  wherever I travel, I is with me. And I'm very grateful for the
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  fellowship and giving back to others.
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  You know, my mum kept the phone number to Ball House and I was
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  able to, well, she passed away at 93.
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  And but in that last few years she, she was new.
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  I was there when she was in hospital, said mum gotta get to
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  a meeting, She said an AA meeting, you know, and I said
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  I'll be back, you know, and she knew what I was and, you know,
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  and I just said that, you know, I'll always keep on going to AI,
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  carry the message and, you know, and I was able to get a
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  companion card, take my mum to the zoo, to the musical, to
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  Elvis Presley's thing in the country.
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  I took her in the car, took her to the footy, Ella Walker, you
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  know, and she loved the footy, you know.
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  So I made sure that mum got a life because she gave me a life
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  and I made sure in the end, you know, she went peacefully.
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  And now I'm at the stage of my life where I've retired and, you
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  know, and I couldn't get a job working drug and alcohol
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  anywhere. I'm sober.
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  And I'm going around carrying the message to the places in
• 14:49
  Riley where I couldn't get a, a job sober because, you know, I
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  didn't pass the interview because I didn't sell myself.
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  Anyway, all I know is now, like I always carry the message when
• 15:03
  I'm ever I'm asked to speak and I'm on a cruise and and yeah,
• 15:07
  the opportunity arose and I thought, yeah, why not?
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  You never know, the time's right.
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  Carry the message to somewhere, somebody else.
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  And you know, I have a little practice golf on the roof, you
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  know, just a little par three thing a four shots and you're
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  in. And this lady's strong.
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  And I, you know, I had a chat with her and she wanted a drink.
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  I said, yeah, dehydrator there. And, you know, we celebrate 80
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  years of a A and she said you in the 80s club.
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  I didn't tweak. So she's, you know, she'd heard
• 15:34
  one of our members talking. And here and here I am in the
• 15:37
  80s club. So you never know whenever
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  someone's around. Hell, I remember that, you know,
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  here he's 400 sober people, you know, a day at a time on a, on
• 15:46
  a, on AP and O cruise ship, you know, And yeah, so it's always,
• 15:51
  there's always. I stick with the strength, stick
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  with the fellowship. And, you know, anytime I want to
• 15:57
  go overseas, I always Google a a conventions and beans.
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  And, you know, we were fucking playing around when things are
• 16:03
  happening just to be, you know, we save the people.
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  And, you know, so it's a lot of yes, I was just a great
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  fellowship and yeah, and I'm ever so grateful and day at a
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  time. I'll just keep coming back and
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  thank you. How did you find the God stuff?
• 16:22
  Oh great, glad you asked me that.
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  I'm grateful that nearly days there was a priest where I work
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  and somebody said be going to this meeting and Father Pat was
• 16:31
  there, but what's he doing there?
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  You know, he was an alcoholic and I said to him, you know, how
• 16:38
  do you find this God? And I'm running around trying to
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  find this God. I've been to this church and the
• 16:42
  church and he said don't worry and chase God.
• 16:44
  He said, you know, the church couldn't get me sober.
• 16:47
  He said the church is for me because he's a priest, but he
• 16:50
  said you need AI went to a meeting 2 weeks later, someone
• 16:53
  didn't know me. He said someone went to church,
• 16:55
  stop drinking, they died. All I know is I was told and I
• 16:58
  respect what he said to me because yeah, the church
• 17:02
  couldn't get him service. So for me it was a matter of I
• 17:07
  just knew that through the fellowship.
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  You know, things happen, God coincidence, all things like you
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  know, when I felt like a drink, people would say that call me a
• 17:17
  pray. This time I'm in the city in
• 17:19
  Melbourne and I was going on a river cruise.
• 17:21
  Actually they a as a function and and my partner.
• 17:25
  Oh, you know, I was in I was in a you know, don't get tired,
• 17:28
  hungry, thirsty. I thought I got a pray.
• 17:29
  I saw this time McDonald's went to the toilet, got down on my
• 17:32
  knees. I said I don't want to pick up a
• 17:33
  drink today. I walked out and walked into a
• 17:35
  member. I don't know if things happen.
• 17:37
  All's I know is that God, coincidences or, or whatever
• 17:43
  things happen. And so for me, all as I know is
• 17:48
  that, yeah, I'm spiritual and, you know, things happen for a
• 17:54
  reason, good and bad, you know, and you get the bad things
• 17:57
  happen. It's for a lesson to Grove and
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  then things, you know, that's how things work.
• 18:02
  And yeah. So I just know that.
• 18:06
  Yeah, yeah. I'm just so grateful that I've
• 18:10
  got my higher power and they just hang around, stick around,
• 18:14
  keep with the strength and it's a lovely fellow fellowship the
• 18:17
  day it is home. Thank you.
• 18:20
  A A has more than two million recovering Alcoholics throughout
• 18:25
  the world. In Australia there are about
• 18:28
  18,000 members. They're made in over 2000 local
• 18:33
  meetings spread around the country.
• 18:36
  Meetings range in size from a handful in some areas to
• 18:40
  hundreds or more in larger communities.
• 18:43
  And once again, if anyone you know is struggling with alcohol
• 18:48
  issues, please call Alcoholics Announcing 1300 Double 00022 or
• 18:54
  visit their website on aa.org dot AU.