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Why Narcissists Won't Just Leave You Alone · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So there are a lot of people out there that are hoping and
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  praying that the narcissistic person will just leave them
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  alone. Like you're hoping against hope,
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  like you're hoping that the narcissist or tax person will
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  just get the hint and leave you alone and just run away off into
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  the darkness, back into the there's, they're scurry off back
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  into the narcissistic cave. That's what we're talking about
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  today. Y'all, If you're new here, my
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  name is Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
• 0:44
  So bam, yeah, welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome
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  back. Yes y'all they scary.
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  You want them to scary off into their little narcissistic caves
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  to hibernate for the for the until the next full moon, until
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  the next lunar eclipse. They'll come out and they'll go
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  hunting for impasse, right? That's what that's what so many
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  people are waiting on to happen. That's what so many people think
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  is going to happen when you're dealing with a narcissistic
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  person. You think that this person will
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  just leave you alone like y'all be, Let's be real.
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  Let's keep it hot and ready. Y'all know that's what we do
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  over here. We keep it hot and ready like a
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  little Caesar pizza. There are a lot of narcissists
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  that will absolutely just refuse to leave you alone.
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  And that's just real. That's me.
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  Yeah, that's me being real. That's me keeping it, keeping it
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  as hot and ready as I possibly can.
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  Like a lot of narcissists and people will.
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  They will not take the hint. So if you don't know, I run a
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  support group called the Mental Healers, right?
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  You can find everything@mentalillness.net.
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  I run a support group called the Mental Healers.
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  And that's what like people are struggling with telling the
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  narcissist, no, they're struggling with just hate saying
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  hey, leave me alone. They just think they hope and
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  pray that that narcissistic person will just get the hint
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  and just leave them alone on their own.
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  And I tell people sometimes, sometimes you have to tell them
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  to leave you alone because they will not take the hint.
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  Like with a healthy now, could a healthy minded person take the
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  hint and be like, well, they, they, they, they, they with no
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  contact with me, They've blocked me everywhere.
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  They they with no contact, they've blocked me everywhere.
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  They, they've done so much to get away from me, but they
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  haven't said the words leave me alone.
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  They just blocked me. Maybe they, they just need me to
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  they've, they're just playing hard to get.
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  Maybe I can just try to exhaust them.
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  Maybe I can just try to wear them now.
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  Maybe I can do this. Maybe I can do that.
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  They're like narcissists will not take the hint.
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  Now, what's it now, let's say this right here.
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  Will some narcissists absolutely just decide to leave you alone?
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  Yeah, there are a lot of Yeah, there are a lot of narcissists
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  that will just decide to just like, you know what, I'm done.
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  I'm tired of being embarrassed. I have to get out of here.
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  Yeah, there there are a lot of narcissists.
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  They will absolutely do that, right.
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  There are a lot of narcissists that will leave you alone and
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  disappear and never, you'll never hear from hear from them
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  again. But sometimes you have to tell
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  them no what Cat Williams say, you got to tell them or Diddy
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  say best party. You got to tell him no, no,
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  Diddy leave me alone. Like no Diddy narcissist leave
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  me alone because you have to you.
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  You literally have to y'all. And you have to say it again and
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  again and again. Sometimes you have to force them
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  to leave you alone because this is what happens.
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  And this is what I've noticed. And this is what some of the
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  people, my support group have said as well.
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  They've agreed to this. They've said like, yeah, I'm
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  afraid to say no to this person because I don't know how they
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  will react. You know, I have this fear that
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  they will do something to me. I have this fear that they will
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  lose their minds, which is absolutely.
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  Yeah, which could absolutely be the truth.
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  Like is the could those fear, all those fears valid?
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  Yeah, You can absolutely have valid fears that this
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  narcissistic person might do something to you out of anger or
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  reject shame or whatever. Right.
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  Right. That could absolutely be true.
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  This is what these are some of those things that tend to happen
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  when you're dealing with manipulative, abusive people.
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  They want you to be afraid. You know, they want you to be
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  afraid. They want like, it's like ruled
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  by fear and power, not by like negotiating or just trying to
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  actually be there for you or actually trying to have
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  conversations and whatnot. They want to rule with an iron
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  fist and try to control you and be abusive and be manipulative
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  and be toxic as hell and pretty much try to do whatever they
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  want to do and and you try to get whatever they want to from
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  you. So you like a lot of times you
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  have to you really do have to tell them no repeatedly again
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  and again and again. Well, Lee, why don't they just
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  get the hint? Because some of you know,
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  sometimes the shame. Let me let me put my narcissist
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  hat on. I gotta put my narcissist hat on
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  and get into narcissist mode, right?
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  Let me put my narcissist cap on. I got to go into narcissist
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  mode. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
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  So in the mind of a narcissist, sorry, what's the in the mod of
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  Narcissus? My Narcissus is capo.
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  I don't want I the rejection. I'm afraid of rejection.
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  If I don't hear the word no, I'm going to take it as a yes.
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  If I don't hear the word no, I'm going to take that as a try
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  harder. If I don't hear the word no, I'm
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  going to take it as you don't know how to make decisions for
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  yourself, so I need to make those decisions for you.
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  If I don't hear the word no, I, I, I think I have the
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  opportunity to win. If I don't hear the word no, I'm
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  not going to leave you alone. I'm going to keep messing with
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  you until you give me what I want, and then I might go away.
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  And this was, that's what some people would do.
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  Some people narcissist cap off. Some people will absolutely give
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  in to what the narcissist wants, thinking that that will make
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  them leave them alone. Like, well, maybe if I give them
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  what they want, they'll leave me alone.
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  You know what I'm saying? Maybe if I give them some, maybe
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  if I, maybe if I sleep with them, they'll give me what they
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  want. Maybe they'll clap some cheeks.
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  Maybe they'll give me what they want.
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  Maybe if I, if I give them the money or give them the place to
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  stay or give them the car or give them this, give them that,
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  whatever they're asking me for. Maybe if I give this to them,
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  they'll give me, they'll they'll leave me alone.
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  Finally. No.
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  Why would it? Yeah, if they're getting what
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  they want, why would they leave you alone, Right.
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  If they're getting everything that they want, why would they
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  leave you alone? That means, 'cause it.
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  Look, if they can pressure you into getting what they want and
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  giving them what they want, why would they not do it again and
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  again and again? This is something you have to
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  think about as well. If I can pressure you into doing
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  what I want you to do, why would I not pressure you again and
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  again and again? Why would I stop doing it?
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  That doesn't work. You're giving them what they
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  want just exacerbates the issue. It makes them want to do it
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  more. Giving me what what I want will
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  not make me go away. Give me what I want will make me
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  come back again and again and again.
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  Please, Sir, I want some more. Please, ma'am, I want some more
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  booty. I would love.
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  I would enjoy some booty. Ma'am, please, please.
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  And you like. I don't.
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  I don't want to say no. I don't know how to say no.
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  So you give them some buns. You get you you sleep with them.
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  And he gives. Guess what?
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  You feel horrible, they feel amazing because they wore you
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  down. They got what they wanted.
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  They feel amazing, they feel in control, they feel in control,
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  they feel in charge. So they'll keep doing it again
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  and again and again. Why would they not?
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  Y'all? Why wouldn't they?
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  Let's keep it real. Why wouldn't they do?
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  Why wouldn't they think that they going to get what they want
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  by doing what they are doing right now?
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  This is the mind of a manipulator.
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  This is the mind of an abusive manipulative narcissist.
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  This is the mind of a toxic narcissistic person.
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  This is how we operate. We operate on this type of
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  spectrum right here where we think we're, we don't take no
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  for an answer because especially if we don't hear it, we're not,
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  we're not reading body cues or body language or body signs or
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  anything like that. We're not doing that.
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  You're going to have to tell them no.
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  I know when I say that right there that it gets into the pit
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  of it drops into the pit of your stomach.
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  When I'm doing something about one-on-one coaching over Zoom,
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  right, I do my zoom, I do my Zoom stuff one on ones mental
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  illness.net. Well, I'm telling people this.
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  I just like I can see their bodies shift when I say, hey,
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  you're going to have to tell them to leave you alone.
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  You're going to have to force them to leave you alone.
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  You're going to have to send a clear and concise message to
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  leave you the hell alone or they're not going to do it.
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  And I can see people's micro expressions like a little bit.
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  I twitch nose and flare. I can, I can hear, I can hear
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  them. I can feel the fear coming
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  through the camera. They'd be afraid.
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  Not necessarily. So let me say this right here.
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  It's not that so many people are afraid of the narcissist, right?
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  It's like like afraid of them hurting them.
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  It's just like you are not used to saying the word no, like not
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  just with narcissist, with anybody, like you are not used
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  to saying the word no. You're not used to standing up
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  for yourself. So that especially that if
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  you've been dealing with this narcissistic person for a long
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  time, they know that you're not used to standing up for
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  yourself. They know that you're not used
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  to doing this type of stuff. They know it, they understand
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  it, they get it. So in essence, they just keep,
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  they going to do what they want to do.
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  They're going to try to wear you down.
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  They're going to do a lot of different stuff.
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  So you have to define the power within yourself to say the word
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  no and they keep saying the word no and let let your actions say
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  the word no. If you're entertaining me, I'm
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  going to take that as you still want me.
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  If you're responding to me, I'm going to take that as you still
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  want me. If you keep breaking no contact,
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  I'm going to take that as you still want me.
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  Like you, I know you are trying to, you think you might be
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  sending the signals for that narcissistic person and tell
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  them to leave you alone. But they don't take they don't
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  take hints. They you have to be direct.
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  It is be real. Sometimes that directness
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  involves calling the police, involves filing charges on this
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  person, involves forcing them to leave you alone.
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  Sometimes that's what it involves.
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  It involves you forcing them to leave you the hell alone.
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  That's what it involves. Sometimes it involves you
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  standing up for yourself, taking your power back and shutting
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  them down for good. That's what it involves.
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  Like you're going to have to force them sometimes, Willie, I
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  don't want to have to call the police.
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  And then then they might really lose their minds.
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  Yeah, that's true. That is true.
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  They might really lose their minds because you, because you
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  called the police or you threatened to call the police or
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  you threatened to expose them, whatever it is, they might lose
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  their minds. So you absolutely have to
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  protect yourself. You absolutely have to protect
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  yourself and do this type of stuff in order to be able to set
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  yourself free, if you like. Yeah.
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  To have the opportunity for freedom, you have to be able to
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  stand up for yourself. You had the opportunity for
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  justice, the opportunity to feel better, the opportunity to move
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  forward. You probably going to have to
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  stand up for yourself and be you.
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  Being able to stand up for yourself is going to open up an
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  entirely new chapter of your life because a lot of times you
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  don't know how strong you are until you have to be.
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  That's what happens to so many people.
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  You're like when you in these long term relationships with
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  narcissistic people or just growing up in a narcissistic
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  toxic household, people condition you to not have
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  boundaries. People condition you to not say
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  no to them or you get in trouble.
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  So guess what happens when you get conditioned to do something?
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  You do it or you get conditioned not to do it.
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  You get conditioned not to speak up because you got in trouble by
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  speaking up. You get you get conditioned not
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  to say no because you got in trouble for saying no.
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  You see what I'm saying? So now it's time to break those
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  old habits and and build new ones.
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  Stand up for yourself. You know, I'll end it.
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  I'll end it with this right here.
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  Y'all. A lot of times what you want to
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  do, sometimes you're going to have to stand in.
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  Sometimes you're going to have to go look in the mirror and
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  just say the word no. You got to look in the mirror
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  and say no. I like you talking to that
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  person or those people and say no, no, I don't like that.
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  No, leave me alone. No, get out of my face.
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  No, please, please don't come back.
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  Please don't come here again. No, I don't want this.
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  Stop sending me gifts. No, I don't want to hang out
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  with you. No, I don't want to talk to you
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  about this. No, I don't feel bad for you
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  because this happened to you. No, please leave me alone.
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  Move on with your life. Again, be safe, use discretion,
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  because some of these crazy bastards out here will try to do
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  some crazy, but we'll try to do some things to you.
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  And I'm not trying to scare y'all.
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  I know, I know. But Lee, he just told us to do
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  this and he said these crazy bastards will do that.
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  Yeah, they're going to do it. Regard if they're going to do
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  it, they're going to do it. So you might as well live your
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  life. Don't live your life in fear of
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  this toxic narcissistic person. Get their asses locked up if
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  that's what it takes. And if you are in a country or
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  location where you can practice the Second Amendment, I suggest
• 12:50
  you do so because some of these take some self-defense classes
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  or whatever. I feel bad even having to say
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  that. Instead of taking self-defense
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  classes, why not tell the people that you need self-defense from
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  to leave you the fuck alone? You see what I'm saying?
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  That's what was that I wish this was how how it would.
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  I wish. That's how it goes, right?
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  But it's not because people are here lose their damn minds.
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  Anyway, y'all thank y'all for tuning in to that episode.
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  Y'all know I appreciate every single one of y'all.
• 13:16
  It may to the end of the video we have.
• 13:19
  Our next in person workshop is St.
• 13:21
  Louis, MO on April 5th, 2025 and then one after that is Durham,
• 13:26
  NC, April 12th, 2025. You can go to
• 13:30
  mentalmentalillness.net/events to get registered or to check it
• 13:34
  out y'all and we will see y'all there live in the person.
• 13:37
  Hit the subscribe button, turn on those notifications and I
• 13:40
  will see you in the next video. Peace.
• 13:43
  Before you go, make sure that you hit that subscribe button if
• 13:46
  you haven't already. Y'all, you already here, just
• 13:48
  hit the button. Also, you can find my coaching,
• 13:51
  my courses, my one on ones, everything is available at my
• 13:53
  website, mentalillness.net, kids book, self love journal.
• 13:57
  Also check out joining the channel memberships as well.
• 13:59
  Y'all, thank you so much for being here.
• 14:01
  I'm super grateful I'm out. Peace.