Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Ep. 37 - Self-Compassion vs. Selfishness

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Ep. 37 - Self-Compassion vs. Selfishness · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: I am Comedy Wood, and I just want to say how grateful I am that you decided to spend this little slice of your day with me.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it be your morning, afternoon, or evening, I'm appreciative that you decided to tune in.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today I wanted to just unpack a little bit the difference between self-compassion and selfishness.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I was on a client call recently, and in the course of the conversation, the concept came up that isn't it selfish to take the time to be kind to myself or to take care of myself?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: When I spend that time doing self-care, I view it as being selfish, which does somewhat make sense for people who equate self-care with only spa days and vacations, for instance.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: But self-care is greater than that.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes self-care can just mean taking a conscious pause in your day, giving yourself some time to be quiet and not running on autopilot all day long.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: Self-care can look like taking a walk in the middle of your day for five minutes just to ground yourself, just to maybe check in with your five senses.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we really start to unpack the purpose of self-care and the purpose of self-compassion, we start to realize that when we want to be there for our loved ones, when we want to be able to help them deal with whatever is coming along in their life, we have to be coming from a place where we have the ability and capability to actually be their support system.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: And when we're trying to do that from what I would equate to an empty cup, it's really difficult to pour from that.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: I have talked about this before previously, but I think that this is such a really important concept.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it being the beginning of the new year, entering into 2021 after a really, really interesting 2020, I do think that it's very important for us to really understand the difference between being selfish and the concept of being self-full.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: When we're able to be self-full and we're coming from this place of wholeness, we're able to actually be in a position where we're emotionally able to support our loved ones as well as even physically.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oftentimes, when we are constantly running, checking boxes and doing all the things for everybody else, and we're not taking time to check in with ourselves, asking ourselves those important questions of what am I feeling and what do I need?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: When we ignore that for such a long period of time, emotionally we get burned out and physically we get burned out.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it's very difficult to be able to help others.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: So when we start thinking to ourselves, oh, but it would be selfish for us to take care of ourselves, we can actually turn that question around and ask ourselves, isn't it actually even more selfish for us not to take care of ourselves?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because in essence, when we're not taking care of ourselves, when we're not filling ourselves up, we are setting our loved ones up not to be able to look for us to support when they need it.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because we're not going to be able to show up in any capacity when we're completely spent.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's why when we start really looking at ways that we can take care of ourselves, ways that we can be kind to ourselves, we start to see that that's actually not a selfish act, but that self-ful act enables us to actually show up and love on our loved ones and our friends and our coworkers in a holistic way and in a way where we're actually engaged on an emotional level, where and and even a physical level, we're actually engaged because we're coming from this complete place.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: So when you're faced with those moments of, oh my gosh, if I do this for myself, is that gonna be considered selfish?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's really one of those times to slow it down and simply ask yourself, if I don't take this time for myself, at what point will I just be completely burned out and not be able to be there for, you know, my spouse or my friend or my child or my or my own parents?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: And when we can ask ourselves that and challenge ourselves, we're able to see that that those moments of self-care, those moments where we're taking time to refill our cup, are actually more important than the concept of continuing to check boxes and you know, sit on autopilot and just get all the quote unquote things done because eventually uh we do burn out.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: And when we're burned out, it's very difficult to give to others.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: I hope this little nugget of information was helpful today.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's one of those concepts that sometimes it can be really difficult to shift from one mindset to the other.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I do challenge you to just possibly look at selfishness versus selffulness and see if you can start looking at self-care in a new light.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, I'm Comedy Wood.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.