Latest / Serious Beef Podcast / Is That a Thing?

Transcript

Is That a Thing? · Serious Beef Podcast

0:00
I'm Abby and I'm Anna, and this is series beef welcome.
0:06
OK, we. Both did a dead sigh.
0:07
We've been a deep sigh. Hey.
0:11
What's the beef so? Maybe we should start over.
0:16
God. I think it's been that kind of.
0:18
Week, it's been a week. It's been a rough, it's been a
0:20
week. It's been one of those weeks
0:22
where a lot, you know, lot's been going on, but we're happy
0:25
we're actually together and we're recording and it's going
0:28
to be a good day so. If it kills us.
0:31
By God, it will be a good day. And it probably will kill us.
0:34
Maybe, I don't know. We'll find out.
0:36
There's a good chance we'll update you all later.
0:38
Or maybe we won't. I don't know.
0:40
We won't. This is the last episode know
0:42
that it killed. Us.
0:43
You know. You know that it did.
0:44
The forces of evil are working that are working against us.
0:47
Finally won. Finally, and honestly, thank
0:50
God. Oh.
0:51
I'll tell. You what?
0:53
I was being real depressed at work and we had to do this.
0:59
Why are you signing again? Oh, it was an angry.
1:01
Sight this we do this poster for Wellness week or something right
1:06
bad and I got told that my painting looked like and I quote
1:10
crap and looked like a 5 year old had done it.
1:14
I heard the I heard the five year old thing.
1:16
I didn't hear that. Looked like crap Mandy.
1:18
And I got told that I would. Now here's the thing.
1:20
We had paper towels. Didn't even have paint brushes.
1:24
We had papers. They were like this big.
1:26
They like you like a pen. Yeah.
1:27
Yeah. Tiny, tiny 1, You tiny.
1:30
We have to paint a whole fucking poster board.
1:31
So we just like, squirted some paint on the thing and then
1:33
spread it around with paper towels.
1:35
I see you kind of wanted to look like a sometimes.
1:38
Sometimes when you when you add texture, you do that anyway.
1:40
Sure. Right.
1:40
Yeah, yeah. No A5 year old did that
1:43
apparently. Oh my God, and my clouds looked
1:45
really good. For paper towel clouds, they
1:47
look great. OK, so you were deeply offended
1:50
by. Oh, I was.
1:51
So I was really, really unhappy. Erica said that it didn't look
1:57
that bad. I go, we were just I was like it
1:58
was going to get covered up with paper because we cut, cut
2:01
instruction paper. Oh, I see.
2:02
And we're going to like put that on there like waves.
2:05
So it's like I'm just blocking this out so that there we miss
2:07
any gaps. Yeah, it won't show.
2:09
Won't be wild. So you weren't even.
2:11
You weren't anywhere even near done.
2:12
No. OK.
2:13
OK. So reserve even halfway.
2:15
So don't so reserve judgement. My goodness.
2:18
Yeah. Yeah.
2:18
Hold that. No.
2:20
Yeah. This person who?
2:21
So did you finish it or did you just give up and let her do it?
2:24
She took a Post report home that night and painted a whole
2:26
freaking thing right in. I'll have to go.
2:29
Go it on Monday, I'll take a. Picture you see a picture of
2:31
this so you just abandoned yours and let her do it. 100 Well she
2:34
painted, but we had all these stickers and things like that.
2:36
We have to still put on it so she did like the background and
2:40
OK, OK. Me and Mandy and I were deeply.
2:44
I go. I was already having a bad week
2:47
and that was just like that. You know for sure.
2:49
We could tell you that it looks like you a A5 year old did Yeah,
2:53
I know No. And like that's hard Say it
2:56
behind my back. You know what I mean?
2:58
Don't say it to my face right to your.
3:01
Face and well. And then she's telling this
3:03
other girl who's in the in the thing with her, she's like, you
3:07
got to go out there and and take a look at look at she's like you
3:10
have. To.
3:13
Go, you have to go see what they were doing, like you know, and
3:16
so she comes out and this girl is very nice.
3:20
So she doesn't know. She doesn't realize that, like,
3:24
you know, me and me and Mandy are sitting there.
3:27
We're cutting stickers, all those kind of stuff to put on
3:28
here. And like, I'm sitting right
3:31
here. We're like, she's like, we're
3:32
like, yeah, no, of course it doesn't look like this.
3:34
She did this all night. You know, I mean, she did this
3:36
home and all night to paint this.
3:38
We we have 45 minutes. That we just started on it,
3:42
yeah. And and so then she felt, she
3:45
felt really bad. I was like, it's OK, you know,
3:47
it's you're fine. I go.
3:50
I got a goddamn Fine Arts degree.
3:53
I was so fucking bad. Well, and what's her face?
3:59
I painted this little fat dragon.
4:02
We'll have to post that on the picture.
4:05
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Post your fat dragon.
4:07
Her fat Dragon's so cute, y'all. It's really.
4:09
So I said I go. You guys have seen?
4:11
I'd shown it to haircut Mandy at work.
4:14
OK, pictures of it. And I was, I was like, you've
4:17
seen my fat dragon. You.
4:18
Know. I know how to paint.
4:20
Yeah. You know, they're like, they're
4:21
like, that was never in question.
4:22
Your artistic ability has never been in question.
4:25
OK, ME has been hired as a graphic designer.
4:28
Graphic. Designer deeply offended.
4:31
I literally, I literally can like critique.
4:33
It'll just roll out off my back. You tell me that it looks like a
4:37
5 year old did it. I'm gonna hold on to that
4:39
forever. Yep.
4:40
Yep, that that one was not good. The J Dog Dance wing.
4:44
Oh my God, J. Dog, you're not gonna let beef.
4:48
I gotta tell you. That's not even my freaking
4:50
beef. We haven't gotten together.
4:51
That's not even the beef. You're right, but you're right,
4:53
we haven't gotten together. Let's say the beef first.
4:57
So that was kind of like a minute, a little little added
4:59
extra, little extra beef. This has been a rough one.
5:02
It's been, we wanted to explain this.
5:03
That's just one example of a rough week we've had.
5:05
So what's the real beef? OK, so you I made you make a
5:09
note of this that I would. Remember, you made me write it
5:11
down so you wouldn't. Forget it.
5:12
OK, so when I'm driving to work or driving anywhere really true,
5:16
OK, You know, you'll see those like semi trucks and they're
5:20
hauling like big old trailers have got the holes in them.
5:24
You know that like Mighty Joey was was It's true.
5:28
It's true, you know, but it's for animals.
5:30
It's going to be some horses or cows or pigs or something.
5:33
Yeah, yeah. I.
5:35
My beef is that when I'm driving, I can't look at the
5:39
animals. OK.
5:42
I am driving, yes. And so if I look to see what
5:46
kind of animals are in there, I'm going to cause an accident.
5:49
You're going to crash. And I think that that's unfair.
5:50
And that's not fair because especially if they come by with
5:53
horses and you're like. I want to see the horses and.
5:55
Look at these beautiful horses right now.
5:57
I'll tell you what. That is disappointing.
6:00
Yeah. So you can see, you can see a
6:02
little truck come by and there's a.
6:03
Little dog in there and you want to see Oh my God, look at that
6:06
cute dog. If you're the driver, you're
6:07
like, well. Fuck, I can't look at the.
6:08
Dog can't look at that I can't look it's a problem.
6:10
It's a problem I whenever I drive around.
6:13
I just picked up slowly different from daycare on
6:15
Thursday. OK there's it in the back.
6:17
I will adjust my side view mirror so that I can see slowly
6:20
sticking his head out because he's very I don't give a shit
6:23
about the traffic. No.
6:25
I hope you're not in my blinds, but I will not see you because
6:27
my mirror is looking. I have my priorities straight.
6:31
I need to look at. The dog, how happy silly is to
6:33
stick his head out the window? Yes, OK.
6:35
With his little tongue. He does have the tongue lying
6:38
out the window, yes, that's hilarious.
6:40
Yeah. So I can't see, I can't see a.
6:41
Damn, that is a problem. For you, that'd be a real
6:43
problem. For you, I'm like literally this
6:45
is I'm like, this is this is her.
6:48
This is her jerking her head back.
6:49
In my head back and forth trying to trying to get a glimpse of
6:52
what could possibly I'm like. Could possibly be in there.
6:55
Try not to cause an. Accident.
6:56
I will tell you there is a downside to those types of
6:59
trucks that are carrying animals.
7:00
The smell. The smell, well, I don't have.
7:02
That issue 1. Time I was driving with your
7:05
dad. This is many years ago.
7:06
I know this story many years ago.
7:08
You know this. Story.
7:09
I think so and. Then I guess I won't tell it.
7:10
Never mind. Well.
7:12
Leave the listener hanging. Leave the listener.
7:14
We're driving in in gosh, this is we were first married.
7:17
I think we're going up to Peoria to visit my sister.
7:21
OK, And there's this truck, you know, that we come up on and you
7:28
can see it's carrying animals. And I'm like, man, oy, that
7:32
smells bad. That must be pigs, because pigs
7:34
are the worst. They're the stinkiest.
7:36
And you're like, this is this smells really bad.
7:37
And I'm like, you know what, I'm going to roll down the windows
7:39
and let's try to air the car out.
7:42
Oh my God. We did not let the air out.
7:47
We did not let the smell out. We let the massive, we let the
7:50
massive amount of smell in. It was so.
7:53
Bad Dear Ted and I are literally.
7:56
Screaming and we're both like. Because we let it in.
8:02
It was so horrible. This is the worst I'll ever.
8:06
It was like, we swear to God, it was like all the pigs just
8:09
landed in our car. It was so awful.
8:11
Oh, the whole gene stars the help me.
8:16
Get crazy on you. OK, Sorry.
8:18
Go ahead. Help me, Tom Cruise.
8:19
The idea what? It doesn't matter, just
8:23
screaming. I know the.
8:24
Thought process The thought process of the smell that's
8:28
coming from outside the. Rule that your dad gives me shit
8:31
about that to this. Day now listen, understand sort
8:35
of the thought process because it's like, OK, somebody's in the
8:37
car. Let's say they fart in the car.
8:38
You gotta roll down the window, you gotta let that smell out.
8:41
So that's. Just you're you're just on
8:43
autopilot thinking I gotta roll down.
8:44
I'm gonna let this smell out. I was.
8:46
And we should have waited until we went around it and got away
8:48
from it, but no. I made it.
8:52
So much worse. Now I turned the little thing on
8:54
my AC so that it's circulating the air.
8:56
It's already in the car, but. It's not pulling from outside.
8:58
I have no issues. I consistently do that now.
9:00
That was not a thing back. No, I'm not.
9:02
OK, that was 30 years ago. There was no such thing as the,
9:06
the inside circulation air button.
9:08
Yeah, so I, I have that on all the time now because you're
9:12
right. I don't want to suck in, you
9:13
know, any kind of smell. Liv and I were driving home from
9:17
somewhere the other night and we sucked in the skunk smell and I
9:20
looked down and. Went I didn't have the inside
9:23
circulated, but I didn't have it on.
9:24
I was like. Damn it.
9:25
Damn it. And then we had skunk smell in
9:27
the car, so that that was 0. That was 0 fun.
9:29
Yeah, that's skunk is probably the worst.
9:32
Well, how this ties in, OK, how this ties into the rest of what
9:35
you were going to talk about. All right, go well for
9:37
hollandaise sauce. Oh, first of all, sauce.
9:40
Sauce. Hollandaise.
9:41
Can't believe we haven't used hollandaise sauce.
9:42
I know it's it's. One of the episodes is called
9:45
Happy Hollandaise. We didn't use a holiday sauce.
9:47
Holiday. Sauce.
9:48
It was right there in front of us.
9:52
Wow, it was right. There it was, right there in
9:55
front of. Us.
9:56
OK, Well, who knew? OK.
9:59
So hollandaise sauce. Just get it out of the way
10:02
forever again. All right, Check, check.
10:04
I think I need somebody to now. I guess something has been
10:07
invented. I'll see some of these events so
10:09
I can look at the animals. I guess it'd be a self driving
10:11
car that's already. Been.
10:12
So I can look at the animals. You're right, if there was a
10:14
reliable self driving car, yeah you could go on the scenic route
10:19
and the self driving car would allow you to then look at the
10:22
scenery. And yes, you're right, Animals
10:24
and animals and trucks. There's no scenery that I want
10:26
to look at when I'm driving. To.
10:28
Well, not to work. But if you were like going on a
10:31
on a. Road trip?
10:32
I guess so. And you take a scenic drive out
10:34
to, you know, I guess so wherever, take your pick.
10:36
There's lots of scenic things in this in the United States.
10:39
Yeah, same one the Grand Canyon. I don't.
10:44
Can you drive to the Grand Canyon?
10:46
Yes. Well, I mean, can you the Grand
10:49
Canyon of all your drive in? Yeah, sure you can.
10:53
Can you? Let's Google it.
10:57
I've only ever seen pictures of people like standing taking
11:01
photos there. Well, I mean you can see the
11:05
mountains. Yeah, but the Canyon is down
11:08
well. Yeah, I know that there's other
11:10
views of the Grand Canyon. That's just one.
11:13
View you're driving. It's like that was the Grand
11:14
Canyon really where was it? Because you can't.
11:17
It's down all right. I'm Googling.
11:19
Can you see the Grand Canyon? From the road while driving.
11:24
What is the AI over? Yes.
11:25
You can see the Grand Canyon while driving by taking a senior
11:27
drive along the South Rim on Desert View Dr. Well, now we
11:31
know. There you go.
11:32
Now we know. All right.
11:33
Well, thank God. If the AI is correct, then we
11:35
won't verify. We're not going to verify.
11:37
We're not very. We don't care enough, but it
11:40
also could just be any other scenic, you know, drive, you
11:42
know, who knows you take the Route 66 drive, you know, that
11:44
could be kind of cool. 100% I think we should drive in car.
11:48
I love AI, love a. That is on my bucket list of
11:50
things. Me too.
11:51
That would be cool in the Pacific Northwest, one we would
11:52
talk about. Absolutely.
11:54
So, OK, that's a conversation for another day.
11:56
We're going back to we're going to talk about inventions, back
11:59
to inventions because you said somebody needs to invent this.
12:03
And I have been holding back on some information.
12:06
I stumbled upon this insane invention and thought, Oh my
12:10
God, I must tell Abby about this.
12:12
And then I thought, there's got to be other ones that are just
12:15
as crazy or who knows? So maybe I need to compile a
12:17
list and tell you because you know what got me on got me on
12:21
this kick? What we talked about this last
12:23
week or the last episode a little bit big briefly.
12:26
I don't have anybody even heard it because I kind of said we
12:28
said Pop Rocks. We did, you know what?
12:31
I was in the podcast and I heard you talk about Pop Rocks and
12:35
inventing and all this kind of stuff and then 'cause you've
12:37
been talking about. This I've been wanting.
12:39
To talk about yeah. And I was like, she was trying
12:41
to work it in then I. I was.
12:42
I missed it. I thought about it, but I
12:44
thought, that's OK, I'll hold back.
12:45
I'll save it. It'll be another episode.
12:47
But it's like someone invented a candy and they're like, OK, it's
12:53
sugary, it's sweet, but that's not enough.
12:55
You're right. It must detonate in your mouth.
12:57
What? What that blows my mind that
13:01
someone came up with that idea So what are some other
13:04
inventions that some people came up with that will blow your mind
13:08
are. You are you asking or are you?
13:10
No, I want to tell you. Oh, OK, I'm going to tell you.
13:13
OK, So this one is interesting. The mono wheel motorbike.
13:20
Have you seen this one? Before not, not in that time.
13:23
It's a giant. Looks like a giant tire.
13:27
It looks like a hamster wheel. With two, Yeah, with two dudes
13:29
inside and they're going across the water.
13:33
Oh, see how they're on water? No, they're in the desert.
13:37
Well let's find out. That's like dirt.
13:41
The dinosphere could reach up to 48 kilometers per hour.
13:46
Oh my God, this is America. What the fuck?
13:49
Hold On was powered by petrol. Engine, A petrol engine.
13:54
And this is we're on. I'm on the BBC website.
13:56
Only it's not even 30 miles an hour, 30 miles an hour, not even
14:00
aside from this motorized death trap.
14:03
It was not particularly practical because the height is
14:07
3 meters high. What's 3 meters?
14:09
Come on, BBC. You think you're you think
14:11
you're in the. UK, but the BBC.
14:14
I'm on the BB CS website, approximately 9.8 feet.
14:22
Can you imagine this thing is 9 feet?
14:25
Tall. Almost 10 feet tall.
14:27
Why would you want something down the?
14:29
Height of a of a. NBA basketball hoop and it's
14:32
just a giant tire. And so they're like, how do you
14:35
even steer it? It's so difficult to steer 1
14:38
tire. Can you imagine?
14:40
Just like so they cut. They started calling it
14:43
Gerbiling. I said, look like after wheel.
14:47
I saw. OK, so on the one tire thing, I
14:50
was driving to work, I was, you were on the phone and I thought
14:53
some guy, he's in like a yeah, he's in a truck.
14:55
Yeah. He had bikes in the truck and he
14:58
had the back wheels were in the bed of the truck and then the
15:00
bike rack was hooked onto the the tailgate.
15:03
And so he had the front wheels and then turned to the side.
15:06
And so you could only see one wheel.
15:07
I can. Only see the front of the bikes.
15:10
I thought this man was hauling 2 unicycles.
15:14
And I was like. Here's the kicker.
15:17
The unicycles are strapped to the tailgate.
15:20
I was like, why didn't you just put them in?
15:24
This guy was way ahead of you. He.
15:25
Was way ahead of you. I was dying.
15:27
I was like, he's just got those two unicycles.
15:30
That's hilarious. He really wants people to know
15:32
that he's all in. He's all in unicycles and I'm
15:34
cool about it. He was, yeah.
15:36
So the mono wheel, not only is the mono wheel motorbike hard to
15:40
to steer, yeah, if you have to brake hard, the driver will be
15:46
be thrown around inside basically like like a hamster on
15:49
a wheel. Can you imagine?
15:50
You're just now just going along with it.
15:53
So yeah, not that didn't last very long.
15:55
No, it didn't last. Or at all.
15:57
Here we have the Tomatan. Tomatan Toma.
16:03
He looks like he's holding a tomato.
16:04
It looks like he's holding a tomato.
16:06
Tomato. Tomatan.
16:07
Tomatan. What's that?
16:09
Japan's food company. Oh boy.
16:13
Japan's food company. I can't say the word Kagomi.
16:16
Kagomi tries to eat a tomato, which is provided from the newly
16:22
developed tomato dispenser. There's no for marathon runners.
16:28
There's no way that's hilarious. That's not a real.
16:30
So this is for fun, right? This is not real if you're
16:33
running a marathon and you want to.
16:35
Strap a toddler. You're going to strap this thing
16:38
on over It looks like a toddler on sitting on your shoulder, but
16:40
it's all mechanical robot deer Holds a tomato for you to eat.
16:44
Holds a tomato in front of your face.
16:45
A lot of marathon runners eat and you just.
16:47
Crave a tomato in the middle of your marathon?
16:50
I mean, they'll eat and drink things while they're running
16:52
because they're trying to, like, replenish.
16:53
Do marathon runners eat tomatoes?
17:00
Is that a thing? It's a robot who feeds you
17:04
tomatoes. Why would you need that when
17:07
you're running a marathon while. Running.
17:11
Let me, let me. Well, OK, AI and I won't be I
17:15
won't be confirming this. While marathon runners don't
17:19
typically eat whole fresh tomatoes while running, some may
17:23
consume tomato products like tomato juice or oven dried
17:26
tomatoes for their electrolytes and recovery benefits.
17:29
OK, so apparently there's a lot of.
17:32
Apparently tomatoes are a good source of potassium, which is an
17:36
essential electrolyte needed for proper muscle contraction.
17:39
That's true. So apparently they do eat
17:40
tomatoes. So if you want to run with this
17:42
robot on your shoulders, it'll feed you a tomato.
17:44
While you could also just hold the tomato, you could also and
17:47
then you only have to carry the weight of the tomato.
17:49
Just eat some before you go run and you or or have drink some
17:52
juice. While you're running.
17:54
Yeah, that one didn't work out either.
17:56
That's really funny. This is another one of my.
17:57
Favorites. We're learning a lot.
17:59
We are the hay fever hat. Oh, this is a crazy hat that you
18:03
strap on around your chin that basically holds a roll of toilet
18:06
paper and. I have some family members.
18:10
I think that would be they're going to have that.
18:13
Yeah. So you can you can then dispense
18:17
the roll of toilet paper, pull it down towards you whenever you
18:19
have right now noticing. That there's not really a good
18:23
tearing area, you know what I mean?
18:25
Well, that's just that's just because that's a bad roll of
18:27
toilet paper if you get yourself a good quality.
18:29
Well, no, I mean, well, I mean, if I I want, I want a little
18:33
perforation here, like are are, you know, like on, on an
18:37
aluminum foil thing. You got a little, I need a
18:39
little something like that on the forehead.
18:41
But isn't the toilet paper already perforated?
18:43
Well, but then I gotta use two hands and I've already probably
18:46
sneezed into this one. It's true.
18:47
You know what I mean. That's why I need tissue now.
18:49
Yeah. Well, this one was dubbed a
18:51
weird tool. There ain't no way anybody.
18:55
Is seriously right. Who would use this This hay
18:57
fever hat was designed to Spence a continuous flow of paper to to
19:02
combat the incessant sneezing caused by the seasonal ailment
19:07
hay. Fever.
19:07
I'd honestly rather that you have like one of them face
19:11
scarred things come down. Just keep it to yourself.
19:13
Keep it to yourself and just keep it to box of tissues
19:16
nearby. I don't.
19:17
Know that's what I'm saying and also if you use the toilet paper
19:20
you know that that's not puffs plus lotion and a nose in need,
19:24
a need plus plus and DA 100%. That's on my desk and that's in
19:27
my house. That's in my work.
19:28
Yeah, I got to have. I got to have the lotion.
19:30
Yep, it's on my desk. It's in my house.
19:32
My poor sense of delicate, beautiful nose is my bag.
19:35
You got my nose. We have the same nose.
19:37
So our noses need get deserve the puppies.
19:41
OK. This is my personal favorite.
19:43
OK. The Cat Meow Machine.
19:46
And if you want all the benefits of a cat without actually owning
19:51
1, well, this pointless invention is for you.
19:54
Now you're saying all of the benefits, I know, but I think
19:59
that it's maybe only one. I disagree that it's all of the
20:03
benefits because you're not cuddling this box, you're with a
20:06
cat. It's not getting any mice that
20:07
you plug in. It just goes Oh no, no, this
20:10
device was designed for scaring rats and mice.
20:14
Yeah, but the rodents were not fooled and.
20:17
I'm like, no, they're not. What?
20:19
And it's also incapable of cuddling you at the end of a
20:22
long day, so it didn't. Work.
20:25
You're correct. It didn't.
20:26
It wasn't a big hit. OK, You've seen this one before.
20:30
OK, the napping pillow. You put this thing over your
20:34
head. I think you've seen, probably
20:36
seen this listener. I have, yeah.
20:38
It's the listener now. I don't know if.
20:40
There's it's just this giant push, anything that goes over
20:44
your entire head. You look like an alien when
20:45
you're. Wearing it.
20:46
So here's the thing. This man's not using it
20:48
correctly. Really.
20:50
You see those big holes in the side?
20:51
Yeah, just to put your arms in there.
20:53
And then you put your head down to your desk.
20:55
So it's kind of like a kind of thing.
20:57
OK, the original is to put your arms.
20:58
The original Napping Pillow, made by Ostrich Pillow is
21:02
gloriously bonkers. It allows you to take a nap on a
21:07
desk or table in comfort, blocking out light and noise and
21:10
cushioning your head while allowing you to breathe through
21:13
the hole for your nose and mouth.
21:17
Here I'm going to turn this. So look at that.
21:21
Oh you're right, arms in the hole and arms in the hole.
21:24
The only problem is that your Co workers might not appreciate
21:27
your snoring during your their important zoom meeting.
21:30
Maybe. Well, wow, OK.
21:36
I just love that there's like a tiny little face hole.
21:39
There is a tiny little face hole.
21:40
Not for your eyes, though. Is that your eyes?
21:42
close it. But yeah, no, you can't really
21:44
hardly. You can maybe a little bit be.
21:46
Really can't because I'm like, I don't think you look.
21:48
It's just nose and mouth. Yeah, yeah.
21:50
So you can breathe. I don't know if I'd want that
21:52
over my whole. Face.
21:53
I don't like that. I know that.
21:54
I or my whole head, I know that I was well then I got to take it
21:56
off and go back to work and now I got.
21:58
Crazy hair 100%. From putting that thing on my
22:00
head, I don't know. I don't see that.
22:02
I don't see me wanting that. OK, next the mustache shield.
22:07
Oh. Yeah, so an invention for a
22:10
mustache guard for holding the mustache out of the way of your
22:13
food or liquid while eating and drinking.
22:18
Wow. It looks like it's just a face
22:19
mask, I'll be honest. So the mustache was a popular
22:23
form of facial hair and still for hundreds of years.
22:27
And Yep, some people still like to grow a serious mustache.
22:33
And the handlebar mustache was very common around 1876.
22:38
Well, naturally, and as we all know, right?
22:41
But the, but it would get in their food and drink and you'd
22:44
have this soggy, messy handlebar mustache, right?
22:47
So you, they, someone invented the mustache guard.
22:51
Well, thank God, it just pulls it up out of this food and
22:54
drink. It's true.
22:55
You know what? It is something a man would need
22:58
because a man would be incapable of handling.
23:00
Them to be able to move it out of the way with their other
23:01
hand, right? Or trimming it so that it would
23:05
not. This guard would sometimes be
23:06
made of rubber or even metal. What?
23:09
Yeah, with two elastic cords that would slip over the ears.
23:13
Needless to say, it did not gain popularity.
23:16
OK, my goodness. All right, the pet rock is on
23:21
here. We all know what a pet rock is.
23:22
That's not a that's not a crazy invention.
23:25
That's a genius. Marketing genius marketing
23:27
scheme is what that is. 1 I 100% agree.
23:30
This is my favorite. Another one of my favorites, the
23:32
V shaped. Bed.
23:33
I got one of those on what? Because the middle of your, the
23:36
middle of your futon doesn't, doesn't hold up.
23:39
It's because the futon we got doesn't have the bar that's
23:40
supposed to hold it down. So when you you're the only
23:43
person laying in it, you naturally look at this.
23:45
Look at this, look at this woman, she's having a great time
23:48
in her V shape. It's kind of feel like you're
23:50
being held, but that looks that looks to me like I would be
23:53
trapped and I wouldn't be able to get I would not be able to
23:55
get out of that. It's a little sharp for me.
23:56
That is a very sharp V after after moving to America.
24:02
This dude, a German German guy, Joseph Pilates interesting,
24:07
really designed the V shaped bed.
24:11
Filing for the patent in 1930. He believed the traditional beds
24:15
were not comfortable enough and that his new design would help
24:18
keep the back straight. How do you figure?
24:21
How do you figure? And give more support to the
24:24
arms and legs. How do you figure?
24:26
The the general public did not agree it was not a hit.
24:31
Oh my gosh, that's hilarious. OK, this is the ultimate one.
24:36
This is the invention that I saw.
24:38
OK, that that tipped it off and made me look into more
24:41
inventions because there's a lot more out there.
24:42
So but I'll just I'll end with this one.
24:44
Here we go the baby cage. I've I know about baby cages.
24:49
What in the actual hell? This baby cage is attached to
24:53
the your the outside of your home outside a window.
24:57
Not just a home an. Apartment An apartment building
24:59
several several stories high. Because you're in a you're
25:03
right, it's an apartment building so that your baby can
25:05
get a little sunlight. So your baby could get some
25:07
outdoor time. How many babies do you think
25:09
fell? Can you even imagine trusting
25:12
that a cage attached to the side of the apartment back in the day
25:18
on the other side? Did not care.
25:19
Almost like a almost, Imagine like your air conditioner.
25:22
That's a window unit. This is a window unit cage, yes,
25:26
That's attached to the wall. And you just let them go.
25:28
You go put them out there through the window.
25:30
People back in the day were wild.
25:33
They just you were that trusting that you would put your baby in
25:36
a cage attached to the wall outside your whatever storyline
25:41
apt. I wouldn't put an animal in
25:44
there is right. I wouldn't.
25:46
I wouldn't put. I wouldn't put my.
25:47
Are you sitting with me? Not a chance.
25:50
This is this terrifying idea that thankfully did not catch
25:54
on. Designed for people living in
25:56
apartments with limited access to green spaces, the cages were
26:00
designed for a good solution to get babies out into the fresh
26:03
air. No, thank God that idea didn't
26:07
catch on. No.
26:08
Can you imagine? I have a A.
26:11
Invention. I wanted to show you I had a
26:12
chance. That one was blew my mind.
26:16
Oh, 100. Percent that someone even
26:17
thought that that was a good idea.
26:19
I have one, I'll post some. Pictures, folks, and show you
26:22
these crazy inventions. Hold on, hold on.
26:24
Oh, don't hold on a. Second back, save it.
26:26
This one's not like a bad invention.
26:28
It's probably pretty good, but the photo, the modeling photo
26:32
for him is very funny to me. The photo is it's a little
26:37
rubbery that you touch the baby, put on a baby head so when
26:40
you're rinsing his hair, it doesn't.
26:41
Get in it on doesn't get. This is a good invention.
26:43
This is a good invention. This baby looks so sad.
26:47
This picture is so adorable. And I've seen these before
26:49
these, they were ones that that were I've seen that you could
26:53
get. I don't know if they had them
26:54
wrong when you were young or not, but I've seen those.
26:57
You put them on and then it keeps from getting the shampoo
26:58
in their eye or soap in their eye or water in their eye,
27:00
whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:01
I've seen these. That's.
27:03
Hilarious that baby is so done is so over it.
27:07
They're like just put the soaps directly into my eye.
27:12
This baby is at it. Speaking of soap in the eye, do
27:19
you recall this? L'Oreal Yes, So yes.
27:25
Now it used to buy this for you all the time.
27:28
No TARS right, No tears. We all no, everybody thought no
27:36
tears because it's got the goddamn eyeball on there
27:39
eyeball. And so it's like oh, so if it
27:40
gets in your eyes, no tears. No, it's no tears.
27:44
What like for your hair? No, Oh no.
27:50
Everybody, everybody thought. Wait a minute, you're holy shit.
27:58
They. Fooled us all.
28:00
Oh my God. Because they don't.
28:01
Not once did they ever say the word.
28:04
No, they always just put no tears.
28:07
TARSI remember getting these for you because it was different
28:11
smells. Yep.
28:12
And you guys liked the This one was cool.
28:14
Watermelon. Yeah.
28:15
You liked the watermelon some Sam would like the strawberry.
28:18
Yeah, I would get you the different.
28:19
Smell people for your kids. No.
28:23
No tears, right? Yeah, but it looked like a
28:26
little fish, kind of. Yep, the shape, the bottle and.
28:30
That's why they was little like it was, really.
28:32
Cute marketing and. And the kids liked it, Yeah.
28:34
100% and a little. Fish eye there and you think, oh
28:36
OK, well it's gentle on your kids.
28:39
Little little eyeballs. Wrong.
28:42
I was deceived. We were all.
28:44
Deceived Abby. Who knows this person comments.
28:49
Purposely rubbed this into my eyes to test it.
28:51
When I was like 6, there were many people.
28:56
Oh no, we never did that, thank God.
29:03
Also, guess what? Tip your head back.
29:06
Come on. I know, but I'm just but I it
29:11
was like it it was it was tears like it makes your hair
29:14
stronger. That is crazy.
29:17
OK, I've learned something new today.
29:19
I saw that and I was like. I'm.
29:22
Stunned, I'm. Stunned.
29:24
What? Oh my God, now I got a couple
29:28
stories that I have to tell you. I also have some things to tell.
29:31
OK, cool. Cool.
29:32
We'll tell each other stories. We'll take turns.
29:34
You want to go first. Got a podcast?
29:36
1 is a nice one is a nice, excellent, exciting update to a
29:41
story that we have on a previous podcast.
29:45
Oh, go ahead. OK, take it away.
29:47
The first chlamydia vaccine for koalas has been.
29:50
Approved. I got her with that one.
29:58
You didn't see that? What the 1st?
30:00
Chlamydia. Vaccine.
30:01
No, I heard. I heard the headline.
30:03
Has been approved. What follow up is that for
30:06
Remember? The dude the girl got the dude
30:08
got chlamydia from helping the the the koalas, no.
30:12
And the fire? No, no.
30:15
I told you this whole story. I swear to God, I told you this
30:19
story. What episode?
30:21
No idea. No idea what?
30:23
Yeah, yeah. They they got chlamydia by
30:27
helping these koalas during this great fire, Bush fire in
30:32
Australia. And it's it's actually can
30:36
happen if you because it's chlamydia is a big thing that
30:39
happens in in koalas. And then they blamed each other.
30:42
OK. And they thought they.
30:43
Were cheating to the girlfriend yeah yeah and they were like Oh
30:48
my God you cheated on me how did you get community and they went
30:50
years they went with this like they they you know they stayed
30:54
together but they were secretly still mad and blaming each other
30:58
and duh duh duh and they come to find out it was from the.
31:01
Koalas, you did not tell me. This.
31:03
Yes, I did too. Listener, I'm telling you.
31:06
Tell me. If she told me this story, I
31:08
don't know. And then it came.
31:09
And then when they realized it was the koalas, the dude felt
31:13
really bad. All of a sudden he looks really
31:15
guilty. Comes to find out he went and
31:19
cheated on her because he assumed she had oh shit and she
31:23
hadn't. Well no, it was all from the
31:26
koalas. The koalas.
31:28
And so now he ended up cheating on her when he shouldn't have.
31:31
You should never do that. Break up with somebody.
31:35
Unbelievable, but all but it is all the Koala's fault.
31:38
And now happy news. Vaccine.
31:41
The vaccine has been approved. Maybe this won't break up
31:44
another couple in the future. You didn't tell me that I'm.
31:47
Telling you I told that story. If I didn't, that's a shame.
31:51
God, I cry because I should've. It is a is a crying shame.
31:56
Nice swear. I do.
31:57
We need some L'Oreal kids. No tears.
31:59
No tears. If they had invented it, which
32:02
they had not. They had not.
32:05
Holy shit. OK, that is so funny.
32:07
OK, well, I got I got a thing. OK, I thought that was a nice.
32:10
Update I really. Swear to God, so the thought I
32:11
was. Told that story.
32:13
Is a good update. I my hand is I'm pretty sure I
32:17
have a bruise. I don't think it's very faint,
32:20
but it's in all in this area. Pretty sure it's from my glove
32:25
because my hand goes my glove, but it kind of like cuts right
32:29
here and so it like just kind of like I think push and rub.
32:31
We played softball last night. Abby and Sam and Ash took a
32:36
foray into back into softball for the first time in many, many
32:41
years. Years, many years.
32:45
Probably like 10 years. I said to Sam.
32:48
I said, does this team know that Abby can't run that because her
32:52
leg has been shattered? Do they know this?
32:55
Hey. Well, yeah, but she made it to
32:57
first base. I was like, OK.
32:58
Well then that's all it matters. I can run a little.
33:00
Bit I run a little bit I'm. Dangerous over short distances.
33:03
I heard this was a hoot and I'm actually very angry with myself
33:06
for not going. Because it was, I was like, I'll
33:10
go. It's hot, I'll go to another
33:11
one. It was being was she really
33:12
wasn't too hot. Oh, that's nice.
33:14
I'm good for you guys. The game, it had it all.
33:18
I struck out my first at bat. Did you really?
33:22
Well, you hadn't swung a bat in. Ten years or more.
33:24
So here's the thing. The first OK, so in slow pitch
33:27
start one-on-one, Yes, you do. The count does and first pitch
33:32
comes in. I mean, it was on the line, it
33:36
called it called it strike. I'm like, OK, sure.
33:40
Well, next one comes in, I and I swing at it, foul it off.
33:43
That's an out, Yeah, you can foul out in this, in this
33:46
little. Son of a bitch.
33:47
Yeah, Sam said she fouled out too, but she was happy she just
33:49
made contact, and that's so, you know.
33:50
Shit for Sam, that's pretty good Sam actually.
33:53
And her foul out was better than mine.
33:54
Mine said pink and fell off, hers went down the line and then
33:59
wow, now not like past third base.
34:02
Sure, sure, sure. A little more.
34:04
Skip to it. But you know what?
34:05
Good for her. I played first base, Sam caught.
34:08
That was my position a lot playing.
34:09
First Sam was like I could I could play like right field.
34:13
I go listen to me, Samantha, you are going to I'm like you are
34:17
one catch. Yeah, because it's slow pitch.
34:20
Everybody hits it really far. Just stand back there.
34:23
Just stand back. There catch now she she may not.
34:28
Oh my. God, she was so excited that she
34:31
actually caught the ball, was standing on the plate and made
34:35
the out. Sam is not inept.
34:37
She's not. She is actually has some skill.
34:39
She she's afraid, but she has the fear.
34:42
Correct. See.
34:43
So that's the difference. You can't be afraid of the ball.
34:45
No. She's she's has the fear, fear.
34:48
And so she closes her. Eyes now the guy.
34:50
She said she had to tell herself.
34:52
OK, don't close your eyes. Don't close your.
34:54
Eyes. That was when she was bad at
34:55
doing it. That day I was crying.
34:58
The guy who we had playing shortstop, he played college
35:02
baseball. Oh my God.
35:03
OK, so he's. Good.
35:04
He knows what he's doing and the people on the team go to the gym
35:07
with Ashley. Yeah.
35:08
OK, so they're they're. All actually very athletic and
35:10
they're all very good at what they do.
35:12
She's like, this is the best of the of the gym.
35:14
Ash was saying yeah, at at CrossFit our our girl in right
35:18
field is like one of our most competitive.
35:21
Yeah, I say our they are most competitive like they they
35:24
actually. Compete.
35:26
But they have no idea how to play ball, so that's hilarious.
35:29
Yes, because they're all athletic people.
35:33
Yeah, but then they've never played before.
35:35
So the one girl gets the ball at the fence and our second basin
35:40
did not go out to cut to cut the.
35:42
Of course not if he doesn't know where.
35:43
Well, I heard he didn't know where.
35:44
Second. Base was.
35:45
It was that was. That was the whole thing.
35:47
Well, she throws the ball and the guy who was playing right
35:50
center manages to actually run down the throw and then throw
35:58
the rest of the way. Oh no, before, before the 2nd
36:02
basin could run out to. Go even get it.
36:06
He was. I'm like keeping pace with this
36:08
throw she. I'm very my God, that is
36:11
hilarious. I'm definitely going to have to.
36:12
Come watch. The other team was very nice and
36:16
good for that. We're just there for fun, right?
36:18
We were short games. It's fine.
36:21
We scored one run that we had to kind of argue for and they gave
36:25
it to us and we appreciate that they weren't shut out.
36:27
So it's all good. I played first base, I'm staying
36:33
in there. This girl comes up, she tells me
36:36
other team, she's at first base at this point she tells me this
36:39
guy, she goes, this guy comes up, he's a lefty, she goes.
36:42
I would back up cuz she goes. She's like this.
36:47
Is a big guy. Come up, you know, I'm like Oh
36:50
my God. Also we are standing in the
36:53
dugout and they call the captains out to the thing, OK?
36:56
And Ashley goes out cuz she's our captain and she's standing
36:59
there with the two umpires and this, it wasn't the same guy,
37:02
but there is a mass, another mass.
37:04
Guy, Oh my God. Is their coach and I go, I go,
37:08
that's who we're playing against.
37:10
And we all look and we're like, you gotta be shitting me.
37:14
We're like, ain't no way. That's fantastic.
37:18
We all knew we were not going to win this.
37:20
Well, and that's OK, especially when you got you have no
37:22
pitcher. I heard nobody knew how to
37:23
pitch. No one knew how to pitch.
37:25
I wasn't gonna pitch. Fuck that, Fuck that.
37:27
I've been. I have been at I've played
37:30
second base briefly when I've played so slow pitch before.
37:33
I've watched a ball get being right back at the at the
37:36
pitcher. It's when the I'll.
37:38
Tell you what I played, I played softball a lot of years.
37:42
You have to played a lot of slow pitch Coed.
37:44
I played slow pitch women's first, yeah, then, then, you
37:48
know, we all got married so we played Coed and yeah, I've seen
37:52
some people get hit pretty hard at third base pitcher and 1st.
37:56
So it's like you got to be careful, especially when the
37:58
guys are up that take it way too seriously.
38:00
They they they would. Get as hard as they can.
38:02
Get hurt and then when if you get hurt, it's all on you
38:05
because you can't sue you. You don't signed a waiver.
38:07
You don't signed a waiver that if you get hurt, that's a that's
38:10
a new problem. Signed a waiver.
38:12
But I heard. Yeah, the Sam Hamill told us
38:14
that the one guy had no idea where second base even was.
38:18
You should have you should have heard.
38:20
Dad and I, we were both go. Oh, we know, you know, because
38:23
we played for years and we just. Assumed everybody knows how to
38:25
play a ball. I know me too.
38:27
And it's not true. And he was like, Blaze, Blaze is
38:29
gay. And he, he and I, we get along
38:32
really well, right? And I was playing first base.
38:34
And so I was like, I'm like, OK, listen, he I go, you're gonna
38:39
play second base. And he's like, OK, OK, OK, OK.
38:42
So he goes out and I was like, this one is first.
38:46
I heard. I heard he said where is that?
38:48
Which one? I'm like there's first in the
38:50
inside, obviously seconds and he's like he want to know which
38:52
side. Oh, OK.
38:53
And said, and so I was like, there's like, so he goes out
38:56
there, He'd go he's practically. Stands on the 2nd.
38:58
And I'm like stands out there. Please clear get over here.
39:03
Oh my God. And he's like, OK, he comes
39:07
along and I go, listen, if the ball is hit anywhere in this
39:11
area, yeah, I will get it. I will take care.
39:17
I'm responsible for this. You're responsible for this.
39:19
Yeah, well, no, no dude, I am responsible for.
39:21
This he had no responsibilities. OK, I'm like if, if.
39:24
You get the ball, yes. Throw it to me, throw it to me,
39:28
throw it to me and I'll take care of it, right?
39:30
I heard your outfielders just watched the ball.
39:32
There were two girls out there and just land and didn't know
39:35
what neither one of them wanted to go for.
39:36
It hit right between them. They both looked at each other
39:39
and then they went, oh shit. It was like, awesome.
39:43
Yeah, and I've decided that we need to come and and help you.
39:45
You all, coach. Yeah.
39:47
In our minds, we think we can still play, and we wish we
39:50
could. We were both missing it so much
39:51
last night. You should.
39:52
I think. I think that we were like, damn
39:54
we. But I think that your shoulder
39:55
couldn't take it. But Dad could pitch.
39:58
He could pitch. He could pitch, but he can't
40:00
hurt. His right shoulder's also shot.
40:01
He can barely throw anymore. That's all right.
40:03
He don't have to throw too far from the pitcher, ma'am.
40:05
Yeah, because, well, we played for years and years and years,
40:08
and he played short. He was good.
40:10
Yeah. We were missing it last night.
40:11
We were like, damn, we wish we could still play.
40:13
God, it's I, I we did love it. We did love it playing.
40:17
But I do love it. My body can't do it anymore.
40:19
Well, it's my I. Me either.
40:21
Yeah, but I was out there anyway.
40:23
Good for you. I'm playing.
40:23
Good for you. I'm playing first.
40:25
OK, So this they tell me this guy, he you know this lefty,
40:29
it's a backup. Yes.
40:30
OK, Crap. I'm like, I'm gonna get, I heard
40:33
I've, I've, I've put myself out here, you know, OK, I'm going to
40:36
go play softball. And here comes the biggest man
40:39
I've ever seen hitting left-handed.
40:41
I'm like, oh God. Okay, okay, we've both been hit
40:45
before. I've had I've had the imprint of
40:47
the stitches in of the ball into my in my leg before and I've
40:50
taken the last. It's not fun.
40:52
I've taken a line drive that's popped, straightened my jaw
40:55
before. Once you're older, you're
40:56
really. I don't don't bounce back
40:58
anymore. Yeah, well, so this guy, he's
41:01
first. He swings in it, he pops it up
41:04
and I'm like, I'm tracking it, you know, It's between me and
41:08
Blaze. I know that he's worthless.
41:10
He's not going to be able to. I love Blaze.
41:13
I'm like, no hate. I didn't.
41:15
I'm like, I don't know if I'm going to get to this.
41:18
She's booking it. Abby's booking.
41:19
It I'm like, I got it, you know, I call it good for you.
41:23
And he, he goes, he tells me where Epson, I got it.
41:25
He goes. That's great because I I was
41:28
already backing off. I'm happy to hear that.
41:32
And so I get under it and I'm like, oh, I've misjudged the
41:35
ball. Of course you have.
41:36
I've always misjudged the ball. I've.
41:38
Misjudged this still. I had to move.
41:40
I had to move a ways to get over there.
41:41
I was like, oh, Shad misjudged it, and I just kind of like, I
41:45
think my legs went one way and my arm kind of swung.
41:47
The odd lunge, A lunge. Snagged it, snagged it, snagged
41:51
it against all odds. I said her old coach from years
41:54
ago woke up in a cold sweat. Somewhere, somewhere.
41:57
What happened? What just happened, Abby?
41:58
Just made it another another crazy catch.
42:03
I know you said it was coach that was Bob.
42:05
Coach Travis also probably. Yeah, that's true.
42:08
Abby would. Abby has these long arms and
42:10
long legs and they're we swear to God, they stretch.
42:14
I'm really good at at lunging in the last.
42:16
Suddenly, would she would misjudge the ball, She'd either
42:19
run in too far and have to back pedal, or she wouldn't run out
42:22
far enough. Run.
42:23
Back and then I oh shit no, had their phone.
42:25
Run back in and then all of a sudden her arm would go stretchy
42:29
and she'd somehow not catch it Somehow catch it and we're.
42:32
Like I caught it. Good for you.
42:34
I had no doubt, but I get no doubt.
42:36
I could hear you told me that I heard this happen, and I could
42:39
hear your old coach yelling happy.
42:41
Why does every catch have to be so dramatic it.
42:45
Was the best thing ever. He gave that poor man a heart
42:47
attack. Fantastic.
42:50
Well, you know what? You guys had fun.
42:51
I caught. Like 3-5.
42:53
I heard you caught, so we're saying you caught several.
42:55
Shortstop. Shortstop gets the ball.
42:57
Yes. Our stories are way out of
43:00
order. That's OK, it doesn't matter.
43:01
But shortstop, he gets the ball. At one point, he gets the ball
43:03
played. He played college baseball.
43:06
He's got an arm, so he's at like the where the dirt needs the
43:10
grass and he turns and fires it at Sam.
43:15
Sam. At.
43:16
Home, Who's at Sam at home? Because this guy so and I'm
43:18
like, hey, here's the thing. This one guy we're losing at
43:22
this point like 13 to one, OK, And this guy is hustling.
43:27
Oh geez, turn it. And and I'm like, there's only
43:30
like one guy. Everybody else is just kind of
43:31
like everybody else gets on base and like, listen, we all know
43:34
that this game, we're just trying to like they're going.
43:35
To be an asshole. Yeah, this guy, he wants to
43:38
score, of course. And we're like, oh, man.
43:42
So Sam told me, he turns, he turns and he fires this thing at
43:46
Sam. Now there's no tag at the plate
43:48
because they don't want any context.
43:50
They don't want any. There's a.
43:51
Line that you just got across and that is, you know, and she's
43:56
just got to step on the place. She's got to step on the on the
43:58
plate. So he turns and fires this thing
44:00
at at Sam and I was like oh shit.
44:03
Yep. She throws the glove up makes a
44:07
catch. She now she went through.
44:10
I watched her go through stages of.
44:11
Display. You could see it in her face
44:13
first. She it was the.
44:14
Disbelief of oh shit, she's throwing this, she told.
44:16
Then she told me that, she said. I'm standing there and I'm
44:19
thinking, Oh my God, he's going to throw it at me.
44:23
Not throw it to me. He's going to throw it.
44:25
At me, it's a completely different mindset when you're an
44:28
actual ballplayer and you're not OK, yes.
44:30
So he's going to throw it. At me and I've got to somehow
44:33
catch this ball and make this play Oh my God Oh my God Oh my
44:35
God OK so the panic the panic is sudden and but she.
44:40
Throws the glove up. Looks, the glove realizes.
44:44
She's somehow caught somehow. Manager catch somehow.
44:46
And it wasn't like on target at all.
44:48
She kind of had to put the gloves up in catch.
44:49
And I had to reach for it. Yeah, it wasn't right at her.
44:52
Looks in the glove, looks at her feet to make sure she's standing
44:55
on home plate because I don't even know how she got there
44:58
because no idea, not a clue. It's a blur.
45:01
And I'm like, I can't believe she had the wherewithal to to
45:04
stand on home plate like she was going to make a play, catches it
45:07
and then is and then here's the guy.
45:09
Call the guy out and read them, she said, she said.
45:15
I threw my. Arms up in the air.
45:17
She it literally was like she's like my greatest accomplishment
45:21
of all the things this woman has done with her life, her the
45:24
education, little accomplishment.
45:26
She's masters, she's a chemist. She's she.
45:29
She's fucking. This is the greatest
45:32
accomplishment. She's out, She's screaming.
45:34
I'm screwed. I'm putting I.
45:37
Was like nobody else on the field.
45:39
No one understands why Sam and I.
45:41
This is basically. Our.
45:43
Losing our shit then I was so disappointed we weren't there
45:46
because we would have been screaming with you.
45:48
You would. Have thought that that that that
45:51
saved the winning run or something.
45:52
Like that you would have thought.
45:54
You were so excited. No one else.
45:56
Understands listener, you have to understand that that supper
46:00
was was my sport growing up and mine and and we and actually Dan
46:04
Wayne, we played like said Coed together for many years.
46:07
So our kids come along. We immediately Abby, we have
46:10
pictures of Abby, probably video of you maybe at 232 and three
46:16
very young loved your little red bat loved that ball you could
46:20
hit already when you were very little.
46:22
You took right to it. But you're a natural athlete,
46:27
Sam. So we start you with T-ball, and
46:29
you love it. You're like, I get to swing this
46:31
bat and hit this ball and then run around soul, you know, in
46:35
the grass, in the dirt more than anything.
46:37
But yeah, you took right to it. So we're like, OK, Sam's turn.
46:41
Here we go. She played Wiffle ball.
46:43
She'd play with family when we play, you know, ball what not.
46:47
So we sign her for T-ball and the ball is hit to her.
46:51
She's out in the field. And she ran away from it
46:54
screaming. And we went, oh, OK, this is not
46:57
going to be her sport. All right?
46:59
We got that. OK, Not this one.
47:01
And then she never played. We laughed so hard because we
47:05
just assumed it she would like it like you do.
47:08
And when she screamed and ran away, your dad and I lost it.
47:10
We laughed so hard. And she was like, I was so
47:13
thankful you weren't the parents that were like, you have to play
47:16
this sport. And we're like, no, it wasn't
47:17
your thing. Of course not.
47:18
You finished the season. Why would I pay for you to go
47:20
play this? Right.
47:21
We're not going to make you miserable.
47:22
That's insane. She was a dancer.
47:24
That was that, you know, it was all good so.
47:26
Well, that's me, and Sam and Blaze are Me and Sam and Blaze
47:29
are sitting in the dugout and he's talking about whatever.
47:33
And I'm like, yeah, I think Tim is going to play shortstop.
47:37
And he goes, what's shortstop? I don't.
47:40
Ever heard that 10? My God, that's so adorable.
47:43
I was like, I'm dying. I got to meet this kid.
47:48
Oh my God, you got you had to go.
47:52
Both of Blaze's moms were there. That's awesome.
47:54
So fun. So we're we were freaking dying.
47:58
But he goes he goes. So did you guys play softball
48:02
and Sam goes, I did not and I go I did and he goes.
48:06
I didn't want to stereotype of. Course we and Ashley did too, of
48:10
course. Yeah.
48:11
And this is, like I said, the only Tuesday we get along really
48:15
well. Absolutely.
48:16
We're. Both giving their shit, of
48:18
course. And I told I told Ash I go
48:20
between Blaze and I, I know which one of us is more
48:23
athletic. I mean, I know which one of us
48:25
is in better shape, but in that moment I.
48:28
Also knew which one of us. Who was better at softball?
48:31
Yep. Yep.
48:32
As we're standing out there, I collect 3 pop flies.
48:34
I heard you did. That's exciting.
48:36
A single one. I was like, oh.
48:37
Thank God. Good for you.
48:40
I didn't. I didn't screw up any plays at
48:42
first either. And I heard you guys had fun and
48:44
that's the goal. What?
48:47
Uh oh. I was a lead.
48:48
Off OK that's fine I heard cuz nobody wants to go. 1st, I enjoy
48:52
leading off because I get to bat more times.
48:53
Yeah. So I'm a lead off and I struck
48:58
my first at bat, you know, found it all out.
49:00
Yeah. And I hate falling off.
49:02
I hate when I hate that shit. Yeah, especially in.
49:04
I hate that rule. I hate that rule.
49:06
Anyway, go ahead. And so I my second at bat, I go
49:14
up, I hit it, it goes there. OK, OK.
49:17
Right to the third baseman. Crap.
49:19
Crap. So now you have to run.
49:21
It was a little dinky off and freaking bad again.
49:23
I'm like crap. We never did get a chance to
49:25
teal off one. We haven't bat in a long time, I
49:27
know. Neither one of the pitches, but
49:29
I don't want to. I didn't want to strike out, so
49:31
I swung right. Crap, she's now I have to run.
49:35
She's hustling as best she can, literally.
49:37
My legs are moving. I don't think I was going
49:38
anywhere. She she, she runs like her
49:40
father. The knees go up and down and
49:42
they don't go. And we're like forward, every
49:43
forward. I'm like I'm running.
49:45
And then you get a gimpy leg. So I'm doing the best I can.
49:48
I hear the first baseman. You got time.
49:50
You got time. I'm like.
49:56
Man, no way I'm. Still, Oh my God, fucking that's
49:59
one of the worst things to hear when I'm really giving a mile.
50:02
You got time. God damn it, that's fantastic.
50:05
She throws it. The third baseman.
50:07
She does. Yep, she throws it to the girl
50:09
playing first base and she drops.
50:13
You drop and I'm like but. You know what?
50:16
Good for you. You ran it out, that's what.
50:18
I always tell you don't give. Up you run it, out you never.
50:20
Ran it out and she drops it in the upper safe and everybody
50:27
this is their shit in the back of.
50:29
And I heard a new rule. You can have a pinch runner now.
50:31
Yes you can. Once.
50:32
One per inning. One per inning.
50:34
Yep. So Abby gets a pinch runner.
50:36
They're like, do you have a pinch inner?
50:37
Yes. It was really exciting because
50:43
this is I was the first girl to reach base.
50:45
Yay. So she she because she wasn't
50:48
playing and she's like, do not put me out of the field.
50:50
She's like, don't put me out there.
50:51
She's like, but I will 100% pinch run.
50:54
There you go. OK, so she there you go.
50:56
So she goes out. She's Abby's pinch.
50:58
Runner. I love it.
50:58
Get in here, get in here. She's like tapping her.
51:02
On bringing the lefty stop, stop, stop, stop.
51:05
Bringing the left. Tap the leg the run bringing,
51:09
the runner bringing. The runner, you're right.
51:11
Tap the leg, not the. That's really funny.
51:13
That's fantastic. Yeah, no, I need to work.
51:15
We're gonna have to go to the batting cages so that I can.
51:17
Practically know where I know the center field is closed, so
51:19
we don't do they. Yeah, Are they?
51:21
They're sold. I thought they closed down.
51:22
Well, you know what? We'll have to find out.
51:24
We'll have to find some batting cages.
51:25
Yeah, cuz I still have the bat. I gotta, I mean, I have to
51:27
practice for sure some of that. Yeah, she had to text me.
51:30
Folks, do you know where my bat is?
51:32
Something for my bat. It's on my garage.
51:34
That's where Rattles. Yeah.
51:36
So I don't know that I should probably use it.
51:38
Also, it's so old. It's, I mean, you know, it's.
51:41
From. High school the the handle is
51:44
sticky it's Tora somebody else had their bat so I.
51:48
OK. You may.
51:48
Yeah, we may have to be done with that one.
51:51
Yeah, yeah, as long as that bat's straight out of we.
51:54
I got that bat from. The high school?
51:55
No. Coach Charles gave it to you.
51:57
Well, you're supposed to give them back at the end of the
51:59
season. Well, but I broke my leg after
52:01
you shaved your leg. They was going to come asking
52:03
for the bat. They weren't going to come after
52:04
you. No, they weren't going to come
52:05
asking for the bat after that. Very funny.
52:08
Like you just you just keep that you don't see I.
52:10
Had my bat that I had that I was using in high school at the time
52:16
had like a crack in it. Yes, I remember and but you they
52:21
you loved. That bat, it had a dent in it.
52:23
Oh, that's what it was. It had a dent.
52:25
There's a dent in the back that. Hit so much and.
52:28
And they come around, they've got these new, like the
52:32
composite baths and all this kind of stuff.
52:34
And he goes to give it to this one girl who already had, who
52:37
already had. Yeah.
52:39
And and the girl Erica shoes are catcher at the time she goes
52:45
coach Abby's bat has a dent in it.
52:47
Can she have the bat? He was like what?
52:52
He goes over, he goes sure shit dent he's.
52:54
Like let me see this he's. Like, Oh my God, he gives me the
52:58
bat. So he's like, throw that away.
53:00
Yes. Yeah.
53:03
Good times. That's hilarious.
53:04
Good times. OK, you want to hear my other
53:07
the couple other things? I got to tell you, I got a
53:09
couple things. I saw that really fun ad.
53:10
I saved it because I got to hold back and save it for the
53:12
podcast. OK, I'm not sure.
53:16
Oh, this is in Connecticut. Animal control.
53:20
Animal control workers are hunting for a person.
53:23
OK, who is painting the squirrels in Connecticut?
53:26
I saw this. I saw this.
53:28
Someone is painting the squirrels blue and this.
53:30
Same. This same article popped up on
53:32
mine as well. Why are they painting the
53:34
squirrels? Cool, I think.
53:35
Good for them. Isn't that hilarious Look, I
53:37
mean those. I like the.
53:38
Blue. I do like the blue, but is it
53:40
safer? This wait, hold on, let me see
53:41
that. One again, zoom in.
53:42
Let's double tap. This here.
53:43
Is that even? Yeah, it's a squirrel.
53:45
I know, but it looks like it's Photoshopped.
53:47
It probably is too. Well done.
53:48
The pink one looks like he painted painted it, but the
53:51
picture is terrible, so who can say?
53:53
But that's hilarious. The other one, this one you
53:56
will, I think, get a kick out of.
53:58
OK, Randy, the Guinea pig broke into the female only enclosure.
54:04
I know this, and impregnated all 100 Guinea pigs.
54:10
I'm dead. He.
54:11
Impregnates all 100 of them. This dude went.
54:14
Damn, he had the night of his life.
54:16
What the fuck? Female closure.
54:21
Funny. Wow, just made the rounds.
54:23
Made the rounds. That's hilarious.
54:26
They would have had they had. So many Guinea pigs.
54:28
Oh my goodness, you know what I mean?
54:30
Yep. Can you imagine they're going to
54:31
have a million? They're.
54:32
I mean, how many? Hold on, that's.
54:34
Hilarious how? Many.
54:36
I don't know how he got out of his enclosure.
54:41
OK, typical Guinea pig litters, Yeah, contain 3 pups, but it can
54:48
range from 1:00 to 8:00. Oh my God.
54:51
So let's just say that it's three.
54:53
Yeah, just two to four, but let's just say it's.
54:56
Three right. 300 Guinea pigs. Yeah.
55:01
Oh, my gosh, that's hilarious. That's really funny.
55:05
This dude was like, we got to increase the population.
55:09
Oh, that's so funny. OK, my last thing that I have to
55:13
tell you is I saw that a man is suing, a Pennsylvania man is
55:19
suing Smartwater because it didn't make him smart.
55:24
So I think that we should file a lawsuit against the Girl Scouts
55:30
against Thin Mints. It's fair.
55:34
You're not making me or Minty. Or.
55:38
Minty, I am not minty fresh nor thin.
55:42
Nope, you're. Right.
55:44
You're right. Absolutely.
55:47
I keep eating. These thin vents, it's not
55:48
helping. Am I doing a damn?
55:50
Thing doing a damn thing. That's really funny.
55:52
I'm still super chubby. What the hell?
55:54
That's really. Funny.
55:56
So that was pretty funny. Well, yeah, the one guy there
55:59
was a guy who actually sued. What was it, Red Bull, because
56:04
it didn't give him wings. Yeah.
56:06
That's why they say wings like 6.
56:08
I's. Well, they had to spell.
56:09
They had to spell it with all the I's.
56:11
Yeah. So now nobody can sue him
56:12
anymore. Yes, Because I guess that guy
56:15
won. Jeez.
56:16
Well, on a technicality. On a technicality.
56:20
Best way to win, right? I so I I Taylor Swift and Travis
56:29
Kelsey are engaged. Yeah, which happened after the
56:33
album was announced. Yes, I do recall.
56:38
And so we weren't talking about that on the last podcast.
56:42
And now that's true. We.
56:43
Talked about the album that happened.
56:44
So my, my, we, we had a very rough week.
56:47
And so my I was like, love is alive, love is real, love is
56:51
dead. By the way, she was happy.
56:53
For a brief. Shiny moment.
56:55
Such a brief shiny moment. Yeah, but I saved some memes, so
56:58
look at this. Me on.
56:58
October. Oh my God, that's.
57:00
So look at you, look at trapped in the jazz Celtic space on
57:03
there. That's a lair with.
57:05
Those album he's on the bed all happy and smiley with the new
57:09
album. But I saved, I saved a couple
57:11
memes that I thought it would be funny.
57:13
OK, talking about talking about the engagement between Travis
57:17
Kelce and Taylor Swift, this is going to be the closest thing
57:21
America has ever had to a royal wedding.
57:23
It's true. It's true.
57:26
Oh my God, this person said announce those tour dates.
57:29
I am ready to pay for that wedding.
57:31
And I was like, that's me too, 100%.
57:36
Oh my God. Oh my God, that's awesome.
57:39
What a time to be alive right now I do have.
57:41
I have one more thing to tell you that.
57:42
OK. OK, So I was behind this guy.
57:45
He had a whole bunch of bumper stickers.
57:47
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And People's bumper stickers
57:50
have become my new fascination because I drive to work.
57:52
And so I want to see what means so much to you that you are
57:58
willing to permanently stick it to your car for everyone to see.
58:02
And lower the value of your vehicle instantaneously forever.
58:07
And yes, you can't ever. You have.
58:09
You have definitely decreased the value of your vehicle that
58:11
you can't get. That bad?
58:12
Now I get if you had an old crappy car, you know what I
58:16
mean, like a little rust bucket or something like that.
58:18
Sure, absolutely. But you know, if you got this is
58:24
this is a nice little Kia look at this little Kia is what this.
58:27
Easter on Oh my God. And there's like how many on?
58:29
There a lot of them. Wow.
58:31
But my favorite one was this. It was like lime green like
58:35
this, this lime green. OK, honk if you'd rather be
58:40
watching the 1999 cinematic masterpiece The Mummy starring
58:44
Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weiss. Cinematic masterpiece.
58:49
The Mummy I'm. Dead I was.
58:53
Crying, that is. That is absolutely a hilarious
58:57
bumper sticker. Not sure I would put that on my
58:59
vehicle but. This one just says pee pee poo
59:01
poo. It does.
59:04
Pee pee poo poo poo. Puts that on their car.
59:06
I don't. Know next this one, it said, I
59:09
believe. There's a little both, man, It
59:11
says. I believe.
59:12
Yeah, it, it said, I believe. And there's a little Mothman
59:15
flying across the moon. Yep.
59:17
So that's a cool one. That's a cool one.
59:19
See, that's a cool one I like. That one we must all stop.
59:21
Man, Bear pig. That's a South Park reference.
59:24
Oh yes, OK, OK. Die bark die.
59:26
That's Simpsons reference. We love that.
59:30
Some of these, some of these I don't quite understand.
59:32
This car drove the highways of Skeleton Coast.
59:35
OH, I don't know what the skeleton?
59:38
Coast is well, it sounds cool. Where the heck is Wall Drug I?
59:42
Don't know what? That is, I don't know.
59:44
Either. That's crazy.
59:48
Skeleton. Ghost Coast.
59:50
Skeleton. Oh, skeleton Coast of the
59:55
northern part of the Atlantic Coast of Namibia, immediately
1:00:00
South of Angola. I don't know where that bunion
1:00:02
Kia. Skeleton go.
1:00:07
That's awesome though. That made us look it up.
1:00:11
That's hilarious. That person has done their job.
1:00:17
Look at this. All these shipwrecks are washed
1:00:19
up. No way that fucking.
1:00:22
That makes that even funnier. Fantastic.
1:00:26
OK, This person who's driving that cue, they got a sense of
1:00:29
humor. I like it.
1:00:30
I like it. Now what?
1:00:31
Is this what it said when they want to know where Wall Drug?
1:00:33
Is Where the heck is Wall Drug? What?
1:00:35
Is wall drug? Oh I'm Googling.
1:00:40
Where the heck is? Wall Drug Store.
1:00:42
It's a store. Yes.
1:00:45
Hold on. You act.
1:00:46
Like you knew that. Well, well, yeah, because I had
1:00:50
Googled it just now. I don't.
1:00:53
It's a popular stop on the road to the to the more popular areas
1:00:56
like Mount Rushmore or Rapid City.
1:00:59
It's a roadside attraction. Where the heck is Waldrug?
1:01:01
That's what the that's they have bumper.
1:01:03
You can buy bumper stickers there and say where the heck is
1:01:05
Waldrug? That's hilarious.
1:01:07
That's really funny. We're going to have to go.
1:01:09
It's South Dakota, South. Dakota Well hold on.
1:01:12
Adjacent to the Badlands. I've always wanted to go to the.
1:01:14
Badlands Waldrug store See more butts directions.
1:01:22
Tell me, how far is it? Can we get there?
1:01:26
Choose a starting point. I'll put my address in.
1:01:29
That's hilarious. Where the heck is Waldrard?
1:01:33
That that that little key has been all over the place.
1:01:37
Where the heck is Waldrard? They've been Skeleton Coast.
1:01:39
God damn, how'd they get their car all?
1:01:41
Go there, it's a 13 hour drive from here.
1:01:45
God damn. Well, that's nothing.
1:01:47
We're good Midwesterners. Why is that so far?
1:01:51
I didn't realize South Dakota was fucking 13 hours.
1:01:55
Yes, it's very far. I I guess I just on the way to
1:01:59
Florida, you drive through a whole bunch of states.
1:02:02
All you're driving through is freaking Nebraska.
1:02:05
Well, because think about the length of.
1:02:07
The length of Illinois, it's very long, you know, got to go
1:02:11
all the way up. Well.
1:02:12
You're not even that quiet. We don't even go by halfway
1:02:14
left. Then we make a sharp left and go
1:02:16
across. Well, I guess that's what I'm
1:02:17
almost all of like a six hour drive to go straight into
1:02:20
Wisconsin. Yeah, but you got to make a left
1:02:24
and look across. Look all the goddamn
1:02:26
construction along the way. Always, always.
1:02:30
I want to, I do want to go to the Badlands.
1:02:33
It takes 70 to 29 to 90 now, you know, OK, some days, some days.
1:02:42
And there is the Badlands. We're going to have to go.
1:02:44
We're going to have to go because Dan was my brother.
1:02:46
Dan was telling me about they took, they took the kids and
1:02:49
went out to the Badlands. But they live in Minnesota, so
1:02:51
it's not quite a. Quite as far a drive, nearly as
1:02:54
far, right? So that's a doable.
1:02:56
Drive for them. I'll have to.
1:02:58
Yeah, I've never seen Mount Rushmore.
1:03:00
Nope. So it's on the list.
1:03:03
I've never seen the Black Hills of Dakota, but I've sung about
1:03:06
them many times. If I can hate you.
1:03:09
The listeners didn't know. The lizards don't even get that
1:03:14
reference. My favorite favorite musical
1:03:16
growing up was Calamity Jane. It's such an old, it's old old
1:03:19
musical. I loved it so much with Doris
1:03:24
Day, who is adorable and I love her.
1:03:27
And who's the dude who plays Wild Bill Hickok?
1:03:34
I don't know. Oh, man, he has got the most
1:03:37
beautiful voice. OK, he's in.
1:03:40
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. He's in oh, which I forgot to
1:03:44
tell you about. I'm reading the book the this
1:03:48
ghost story, Right? And the seven brides have been
1:03:51
killed. I was going to hold back and
1:03:52
tell you about this in October. So I'll just briefly touch on
1:03:55
it, but she finds out from the one ghost that there's 7 brides
1:03:58
and they have to, she has to find the seven rings and she's
1:04:01
telling these other the the the her cousins about this and
1:04:05
they're like 7 brides like like the musical.
1:04:09
So it's really funny, so funny. Now here's the thing, the
1:04:12
Waldrum story, it's on the way to Mount Rushmore, the Waldrug.
1:04:15
So why don't we, we should just go to Mount Rushmore and we'll
1:04:18
stop along the way. We got to hit.
1:04:20
We hit the Badlands, we hit the Waldrug.
1:04:23
And we've. Where are the Black Hills of the
1:04:24
Dakotas? Where are those?
1:04:26
I don't. Well, you got to find those.
1:04:28
Can we see those destination? Can we sack Hills?
1:04:31
Still see the Black Hills? Well, anyway, they sing a song
1:04:33
in the Calamity Jane, the Black Hills of Dakota.
1:04:36
And it's a great song. I won't sing it for you because
1:04:39
I can't. I don't know where it is.
1:04:42
Where are the Black Hills? We stole them from the Native
1:04:45
Americans, unfortunately. Well, there they are.
1:04:47
Black Hills National Forest. Yeah.
1:04:50
So. 1st we hit the Wall Drug and the Badlands.
1:04:54
OK, then Mount Rushmore and then we continue.
1:04:57
We oh, Mount Rushmore is in the in the black.
1:05:00
We've desecrated the. Sacred.
1:05:02
Black. Hills with Mount Rushmore.
1:05:05
A bunch of white guys. With a bunch of white guys.
1:05:07
Yeah. OK, OK.
1:05:10
All right. That's what we got to do.
1:05:12
Well, that's what we got to do. Oh, my God.
1:05:15
Amelia. Her birthplace Museum.
1:05:16
What? That's on her way.
1:05:18
That's on the. No, not really.
1:05:23
Not really. Damn it.
1:05:25
Shit, we're such nerds. Kansas City, Yeah, we have to
1:05:29
pass through. Kansas City so we so we could I.
1:05:32
Can make I can make it a. Work.
1:05:33
So you go straight over to Kansas City and then straight up
1:05:36
along the Omaha. We go go up between Nebraska and
1:05:42
and Iowa and Iowa and you. Literally are like crossing back
1:05:45
and forth on back and forth, then to Sioux City into whatever
1:05:51
crossover into South Dakota. All right, Well, all right.
1:05:54
Well, OK, we've got ourself a future, a future plan.
1:05:57
Someday, someday, Liv and Ashley, we're making plans about
1:06:01
going to Florida to see the new, the monster, the monster, the
1:06:06
classic monster. But oh man, everybody always has
1:06:09
such a big butt. I know what we're going to touch
1:06:12
on that, probably in Spooky Beef.
1:06:13
Oh, OK, hold. On We're right here.
1:06:15
We're right here at the end. We are.
1:06:16
We are close to spooky beef. It's our favorite time of year.
1:06:20
So yeah, we'll hold back. We'll save it.
1:06:22
OK, well, but you guys. But after this, I'm going to
1:06:26
need some serious beef. I'm staring at my everything
1:06:31
we've been talking about trying to come up with a damn thing.
1:06:33
Should we cut the? Should we cut that on?
1:06:35
Do well, I don't know what, what, what's what, what, what.
1:06:38
Serious inventions. Some serious baby cages.
1:06:40
Some serious. Well then, Manila's.
1:06:43
Bye bye.